Original subtitles

Honey, the day.

Can purchase enough milk.

To feed a family of four for a week. But only if you can help.

Please give as much as you can to the desperate savage murderers who would

out your eyes and cut off your tongue for satanic rituals.

I'm an extra alder.

What's that address again?

These guys jam.

But before we go on, there's something I must mention.

A fourth message I must bring to your attention.

I was in meditation and prayer last night.

I was awoken by a shining red light.

Overhead, a glorious spirit.

He gave me a message and you all need to hear it.

Send me to your planet.

That's what he said. He said that.

Send me to your planet.

Now, how about you give?

It's still a long choice.

But to me it's a difference between a Porsche and a Rolls Royce. I want you to

make it hurt when you dig it to your pocket.

Because I think it feels so good you want to pop a dragon.

And I dig it deep.

Dig real deep.

I want you to make it hurt.

Dig it.

We'll take that gun. We'll take that gun.

We'll take doing. We'll take your mama's death if they got gold in her bow.

We're going to be the new king of the fakers.

We're going to take a place and give it half day bacon.

See, my mama didn't raise no fool.

She just gave her a price on a marriage, fool.

Amen. That's pretty cool.

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

You brother of a bitch.

Standing on a butt.

I like butts.

Butts are cool.

Yeah, I'm getting a stick.

Butt cheek.

Only a C5 -3.

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playing workout tape by Fonda. But Fonda

got a motor in the back of her Honda.

My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon.

Look at all those butts.

I didn't miss her. Some number had tried to dip.

But this girl's a hold my list.

He had game, but he chose to hit him. And I pull up quick to get with him.

So ladies, if the butt is round and you want a triple S, go down.

Mix a lot. They kick them nasty thoughts.

Baby got fat.

I'm pitching a tent.

Baby got fat.

Little in the middle, but you got much fat.

Whoa. Little in the middle, but you got much fat.

This is the 90s, people.

A nine upside down is a six.

So let's turn the 90s upside down and recapture the spirit of the 60s, okay?

Watch the flashback, dude. Excuse me. Could I have your attention, please?

Okay. This week we're going to learn a little bit about that spirit by giving

ourselves.

We're all going door to door to collect for the consumer goods for overseas

children. No way. Of course, I can't force you to work for charity thanks to

Constitution's delicate balance between individual liberties and the common

good. Nor would I want to because of my own beliefs in personal freedom.

So anyone who doesn't want to collect can complete the 60s project by doing a

book report on the electric Kool -Aid acid test.

Oral. Oral.

Oral. Written or oral.

Yes. Cool.

But first, of course, you've got to read the book.

Yes?

Got any money?

We're collecting for the poor.

Great, I just lost my job.

What in the hell? What do you want?

We're collecting for the poor.

Help them buy meals and stuff.

Meals?

There's one.

The 60s must have sucked.

Maybe at this house it'll be a beautiful chick.

Hello?

Collecting for charity.

Help the poor.

Come in, boys.

I've been waiting for you.

Now, turn on the lamp.

Once again, boys, who do you serve?

You, Mistress Cora. Whose wrath do you fear?

Yours, Mistress Cora. Yes,

that Madonna book was worth every penny.

Whoa.

Erotica. Erotica.

That was cool.

Yeah.

Erotica.

Erotica.

Gotta

go, dude.

Gotta go spank my monkey.

These guys are cool.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

People, I'm proud to announce that we've collected more than $8 for our charity

drive.

$8. Sad, dude.

Yeah.

But what makes me especially proud is this note I received from Ms. Cora

on Willow Place.

When your charity work was explained to me by those charming young men...

Beavis and Butthead.

My heart went out to those poor children overseas.

Good luck and please send Beavis and Butthead around if you need more.

And students, it's a check for $100.

I'm proud of you guys.

And here's your prize for collecting the most money in our spirit of the 60s

drive. A Moby Grape album for each of you.

You know, it hurts me to part with these guys.

They're collector's items. But giving till it hurts is part of what the 60s

all about.

Nice catch, dude.

Watch this.

Behind the back.

Damn.

What happened if you stuck a firecracker into that little hole?

That would be cool.

What a dork.

He's talking about school.

Hey, Beavis, do you know how to read?

That guy's a dumbass.

What do you love?

School sucks.

Yeah.