All language subtitles for Alone.S08E11.The.Reckoning.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-FLUX

[dramatic music]

- Ow.
Bloody *bleep*.

This is really
what I was afraid of.

I don't want the end
of my story

to be all about
the breakdown of my body.

- Holy *bleep*.
Fresh grizz tracks.

It made a complete circle
around the tent.

That means trouble.

- I wanna be healthy so
I can watch my kids grow up.

If I was to die out here,

and then I'd miss out
on everything.

- We don't it's safe for you
to stay in the field anymore.

We're gonna have to pull you
for medical reasons.

- God, I wanted to do this.

This was my "Super Bowl,"
this was my survival big game,

and I did not have
my best performance.

male narrator: In "Alone's"
most terrifying location yet,

ten participants face
the deadliest predator

in North America.

- There he is right there.

- Grizzly bears.
- Hey, bear.

- There are a lot
of grizzly here.

I'm gonna have to live
with them.

- Go on! Get!

- Every second we're on
the land, we're being hunted.

- Holy *bleep*, mountain lion.

- He's circling around
my shelter.

narrator:
Bone-chilling cold...

- Winter is coming.

- You combine the wind
with the rain and the cold,

this place could make
the Arctic look easy.

- Oh, *bleep*.

narrator:
And complete isolation.

- You cannot hide
from yourself

mentally and emotionally.

- Ah!

- There's no place to go.

- I am suffering
from loneliness.

narrator: Who will survive?

- Yes! Yes!

- This could be the end.

- I don't want to tap,
but I don't want

to die either.

- You have to suffer
before you can succeed.

[gagging]

narrator:
The last one standing wins.

- At what point
do I push the button?

[soft tense music]

- There was something jacking
around outside last night,

but I don't know what it was.

It doesn't matter.
But I have no more food.

That deer is done.

Let's see about this gill net.
First thing.

I gotta get busy
and not burn up all my fat.

Judging by the way
my belt fits,

I'm dropping weight rapidly.

Let's see
if we can catch a fish.

I'm withering away.

Even though
I've killed a deer,

I'm still withering away.

Switched the gill net
over there the other day.

I haven't caught
anything in it.

And now I'm concerned that
I might get pulled for weight.

The rocks are treacherous.

*bleep*.

Done!
Done with it!

[wind howling]

- [groans]

Oh, boy.

Absolutely no point in getting
up early today.

It is snowing.

I can hear it
on the tarp outside.

Definitely gonna be a projects
in the house kind of day,

I think.
[chuckles]

And project-wise,

probably today is the day
to make a broom.

I basically have one activity
a day at this point

where I really have the energy
for it, so yeah.

And this is just
beautiful grass, it really is.

You could, of course,
do all of this binding

that I'm doing with the girls.

Since I have paracord
inner liner

and it's coming out my ears,

don't think I'm going
to spend the time.

[soft dramatic music]

Remember now,
we're not going all crazy

domestic goddess here.

This is for taking snow
off the tarp

and potentially being able
to brush off

enough Kinnikinnick
to get some more.

[chuckles]

Can you live on Kinnikinnick?
Nope.

Oh God, my hands are so weak.

Come on.

I mean, all of me is so weak,

but it's especially notable
for me in my hands.

which means my knife work
is a little bit scary.

I'm sure there will be a point
where I'm just too tired,

I'm too thin,

and it's just gotten
to the brink

of what I can handle.

I know that point will come

unless a deer dies
in my front yard.

All right.
And ta-da.

We have the broom.
Perfect.

Okay, so the weather
is reasonable.

Let's test it out, eh?

Yup, it works.

A little less snow
in the house.

Oh, I'm a little bit dizzy.

I just need to sit for a bit.

*bleep*.

Okay, so the fire
has just died.

I really wish I had collected

a whole bunch
of firewood yesterday,

which was actually one of
my plans and it didn't do it.

Now, I'm gonna have to
play the firewood game.

*bleep*.

[soft tense music]

It's so hard to do heavy
physical activity,

like collecting firewood.

When I tilt sideways or have
to catch myself quickly,

my muscle response time

is much slower.

You feel like
you're moving through water.

That's what it feels like.

I want to say
I just have a really,

really limited time left.

And I'm so frustrated by that.

*bleep*.

Not a track
I expected to see here.

So they're down
from the high country then.

How lucky would one
have to get

to have just been walking
to the loo with their bow?

I hope that deer will be here.

I mean honestly right now,
if I shot a deer,

I can win this.

But you know,

I'm not sure I'd be capable
of processing one.

[soft dramatic music]

Maybe?

Oof.

Suck it up, buttercup.

Get the firewood in.

- See these cute, little twins.

It's been the main motivation
keeping me here.

Look at their little feet
and hands.

Their big heads.

They're so much bigger
than that now, no doubt.

They're gonna need that money,
so let's get to it.

I can't help but wonder
who's left

and how much fight
they got left in them.

I have more fight in me.

My family's future
is on the line.

I gotta go check my gill net.

Try a few casts
while I'm down there.

It's a strange thing
to be on the cusp.

So close to a fortune,
you know,

that would take me decades
to make.

So close yet so far.

Things that would push me
further, I'm not finding.

It's hard.

No fish, as usual.

It ain't easy
getting this far.

You either get here
from doing well

or you get here
on pure stubbornness

and sheer will like I did.

I'm just gonna keep on
going a little longer.

I don't have a whole lot
of quit in me, man.

My mindset is still
in the game

and there's more foraging
I can do.

I can start eating
some of the things

I haven't been eating
like the under bark.

As long as I stay hydrated,

my body has got plenty left
on it to give.

The Sam Rations,
as I call them.

It's how Sam won, you know.

He went in heavy and he
just out-starved everyone.

I'm just a broke musician
construction laborer.

I can't walk away from this.

So food thought of the day
has been a random one.

Quite a random one.

Frito pie, which is...

really, just think nachos
but made with Fritos.

Very high fat,
which I'm pretty sure

is what I'm on about,
really, just in general.

Like, I mean,
I'm actually planning a trip

to do a little nostalgic
food tour.

I don't yet have refrigeration
capability in my van.

That'll be something that
some of this money

sorts out, actually.

I can finally do
the proper remodel of my van

into a working home

so that I can travel
and live in it,

and live in it properly,
you know?

I want refrigeration.
I want the ability to cook.

Right now I have a bed
and a cooler,

you know, and I make it work.

All right, so it's done.

Okay, and now I want to
just sit for a moment

with my cup of tea.

Wow, I never thought
I'd see the day

where washing some underwear,
and some socks, a shirt,

and a pair of trousers

in a pot of water

would tire me out.

It is a noticeable
daily decrease in energy.

I want desperately
to stay out here.

I want desperately to win.

At the moment, I'm tired.
Weak and tired.

Broken. I feel broken.
[chuckles]

I'm not actually sure
I can draw my bow,

to be perfectly honest.

Yeah, I just need a nap.

[electronic chime]
Oh, yes, yes.

Message received.

Production is coming
a day early.

Well, okay, there we are then.

I wonder
why they're coming early.

I know my body's shot.
I know.

I know we're gonna have
that conversation,

but you never really completely
let go of the possibility

that you might be
the last one out here.

They might just shove up
and say,

"Hey, it's not actually
a med check, you won.

Here's your money."

And that would be...

I can say
it would be life-altering.

And I would very much
like to be the person

who walks home with it.

I can have a home,
eclectic and wonderful.

It'd be so fantastic,
I'd be so excited.

- Lightheadedness
every time I stand up.

- Okay.

- I would be really gutted
if I had to go home today.

- Theresa.
- Yeah.

- You've lost a tremendous
amount of weight.

- Yes, I have.

- And as you might imagine,

we're deeply concerned
about your health...

- Yes.
- As you may be as well.

I think at this point,
if you stay in any longer,

you risk reaching a level that
might be hard to recover from.

So at this point,

we're gonna have to pull you
for medical reasons.

- Today?

- It's not safe for you
to stay out here.

[soft downbeat music]

- [takes deep breath]

Do you guys mind if you just
give me a moment?

Can I go inside
and just have a minute?

Thank you.

Oh.

[exhales deeply]
Suck it up and deal.

[exhales deeply]

Okay, pardon me.
I really don't like crying.

And I sure as hell don't like
crying in front of people,

so apologies.

And I know, I completely
understand that we need to go.

I pushed myself further than
I originally intended.

Yeah.

To say I wash, I do a full-body
wash every three days.

I know I am
a walking bag of bones.

I'm not upset with you.

I'm not upset with anybody.
I'm not even upset with myself.

I'm just--I'm...

Just disappointed.

I'm just disappointed.
That's all.

I've seen 30-year-old horses
look better than me.

[chuckles]

[soft dramatic music]

I got the opportunity
to do something

that very few people do,

and it was amazing.

I'd love to have
the 500 grand,

but at the same time,
I have now spent 69 days

getting firsthand experiences.

This place has become home.
This is my home.

And that is actually
one of the hardest things.

I was in control
of everything.

Everything was mine.
I had absolute control.

I've never felt like that
anywhere else.

And now I have
to hand that over

and that's tough.

However, my motivation
for coming on this program

wasn't just to win.

It was to have an experience
that I have not had before,

to do things I've not had
the opportunity to do before.

And I have done that

and I will continue
to do that.

This is just the beginning.

[soft tense music]

Isn't it true?

Plan for the day
is to get some food.

I'm running low on energy.

[groans]

I think I might try
and harvest some under bark.

It's not something
I want to eat,

but I'm running out of stuff
to forage.

I just wanna
preemptively apologize...

For the skinning you're
about to receive.

This is tree meat.
There's nutrients in it.

And try to not get the wood
if you can avoid it.

I hope that doing this
helps me

find a better way
to live my life.

My whole life
I've done hard labor,

just busting my ass
for crap pay.

It's not worth it.

All right,
that's enough for now.

[soft dramatic music]

I quit my job to do this
and can't go back to it.

Having that money
would give me the ability

to work on the things
that I enjoy.

Like doing something in the
outdoors or working on music.

Calling that done.

I can't tap without playing
every last bit I have into it.

Let's try the broth, shall we?

It's red.

Mmm, tastes like trees
and fireweed.

Yeah, that's about as rough
as I imagined it would taste.

This meal is enough
to make me wanna tap, man.

[chuckles]

This is so hard to eat.

Matter of fact, I don't think I
can eat anymore at the moment.

I might throw up.

Holy *bleep*, man,
what a disaster this meal is.

Ugh.
*bleep* terrible.

It's getting really
hard out here, man.

Hard to be out here.

[wind whistling]

- When I lay in here like this,
there's,

like, recurring thoughts
that go through my mind.

One of them is what day is it,

and how many days we have left?

And the other one is,
what do I have to eat?

And the answer's always
the same.

A lot and nothing.

[soft tense music]

A lot of days left
and nothing to eat.

I'm hungry all the time now.

It wasn't like that before
but now,

I think about using
every scrap

of an animal.

Like eyeballs.

And brains.

That'd be so good.

I guess I'll check the snares.

A few rabbits would be great.

[soft dramatic music]

I've never snared rabbits.
It's not legal back home.

Oh, he's been back and forth,
back and forth through here.

Rascals all over the place.

I've run a trap line and I've
snared lots of other things,

but this is something
that's new for me.

Nothing in that one.
Damn it.

I can see its tracks
going right through the snare.

He hopped right over it
or around it

or under it or something.

There is a real risk
but at this point,

this is the best chance
to find food.

I'm moving slow this morning.

Slow but steady.

Check this one over here.

*bleep*, got one.

Oh, man, I needed this.

It got him around the chest.
My loop was a little too big.

Nice.
Man, I really needed that.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you.

Man,
this brings back memories.

I remember, I bet I was
probably ten years old,

and I saw a rabbit
and I shot him

and he jumped up and then
started flopping around.

I said,
"I got him. I got him."

I ran up there
and grabbed him up

and I was so proud of myself.

All right, one more to go.

And I don't think
I'll ever forget that.

Hot dog, I got another one.

I didn't expect this one,
this is a pleasant surprise.

Very nice. I love it.
I love it.

There is nothing in life
worth achieving

that's going to come easy.

Everything that you want
to accomplish

that's worth anything at all,

you're gonna have to
overcome serious obstacles.

Excellent,
excellent, excellent.

Quit worrying
about the road ahead.

Quit worrying about
the big picture

and look at what is
right in front of you.

Thank you, buddy.
You are much appreciated.

Overcome that obstacle
and move on.

It's one step at a time.

Look at them little teeth
right there.

The head.

Begin by removing
the lower jaw...

separating the jawbones...

and sucking the meat off.

Mmm.

The world would be
a much better place

if at least once
in their life,

everybody got to experience
the kind of hunger

that'll make you suck
the eyeballs

out of a rabbit skull
with much pleasure.

[soft tense music]

[rustling]

Something just knocked over.

What the hell?

*bleep*.

*bleep*

[whoops]
Hey.

[sighs]

Damn it!

Oh, you son of a *bleep*,
don't you--

hey, hey, hey!

Holy *bleep*.

[sighs]

I've never seen a fisher
that close before.

He wasn't shy at all.
I mean, he came right up.

I thought he was gonna
come in the tent.

But I'm gonna have to start
closing the door when I leave

'cause he'll come in here
and get my rabbit.

A fisher is a mustelid,
the same family as wolverines.

Basically, it's a predator.
It's not good.

And I have to compete with it

to get my rabbits
before he gets them.

- [groans]

My guts are in *bleep*
knots, man.

[groans]

The under bark
did not help me out.

It hurt me a lot.

Sucks.

Plan for the day is to try

and get my stomach
feeling better, man.

'Cause I just do not
feel good, man.

I think I ought to go
get some foraging done.

I'd like to get something
decent in my stomach

so that it's not in knots.

I think I'm gonna go that-a-way

and try to find some
wild onions.

There's less and less onions
to harvest.

I've harvested a lot of them.

My body is now clinging to
the weight I have left on me.

Oh, look at that.

I've found
a ton of wild onions.

[soft upbeat music]

Whoo.

Let's get to collecting, huh.

This whole hillside
is covered with them, too.

All the way up,
which is awesome.

Oh, onion soup,
how I can't wait to have you.

Awesome to know that
I've got food resources again

and don't have to just starve
the rest of the week.

That definitely means
it ain't over.

I think I'm ready
to head back.

[grunts]

I know I've got
more fight in me.

I could be a week away
from winning.

I gotta stick it out
for my family.

I have lots of reserves
to keep me going.

Just try to wait it out.

Oh, yeah.

[slurps]

That's hitting the spot, man,
I don't care.

I don't care who you are.

That's hitting the spot
right there.

There might be
one other person out here

for all I know.

One of us is going home
with the win,

and I ain't leaving
till they pull me.

[soft dramatic music]

- I like these pants.

I stole these
from Fish and Game.

I never thought
I'd be this light.

Think I'll take
a little, short walk

and let's go check out
the snares.

I can't even describe
how much I would love

to go home right now.

Difficult thing about this

is you don't know when the end
is, so you can't count down.

I heard a quote one time.

Said that "Money is what
we trade our lives for."

That's pretty damn true.

*bleep*.
That little bastard.

There's tracks right here.

So here's his track.

And there's my snare
right there.

His track actually comes up
right to the snare

and checks it.

That is not good.
*bleep*.

I knew this was gonna happen,
I mean, it's inevitable.

There's predators
out searching around.

And if I catch a rabbit,
he's gonna find it.

I'm wasting my time.

[indistinct]

And there's blood in the snow.

[chuckles]

This is a problem.

[wind howling]

He got a rabbit
out of this trap here.

Can't trap him.

I don't know what--I don't know
what you're supposed to do

when you can't do your--
your hands are tied.

It's--[chuckles]

He'll be back every night.

Every day, he'll do this.

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

That's, uh...

it's not good.

Not good at all.

It's deep into the season

and I'm not eating enough
to keep my weight up.

And so I know that I've got

very limited time
to find food.

So each one of those animals

just becomes more
and more important to me.

That's what I'm depending on.

But that fisher's coming back

on a regular basis
to get my rabbits,

and there's nothing to be done
about it.

The regulations say
that I can't shoot them.

And that fisher may be
the reason

that I have to go home.

- Today is day 71.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

I'm here alone.

Away from all that family

and good times.

Sure am thinking about 'em,
though.

First thing on the list
is to get some water.

This is gonna be icy
as *bleep*.

I gotta be really careful.

How in the *bleep*
am I gonna do this?

This looks like an ice slide.

Whoa.
*bleep*.

[groans]

This is *bleep* great.

I love falling and slipping.
Thank you for that.

That was really pleasant.

Getting real sick of this!

Come on.

Oh-ho.

Good enough.

Every day gets tougher
to be here,

especially when you've got
a good life

back at home to get to,
you know?

Holy crap.

Getting risky just
to get water.

[sighs]

Over the hill.

Every time
I think about quitting

and getting out of here,
I'm just like, "No, you can't.

"You don't have a career
back home.

"You don't have any way
to make money right now.

"We're bringing little ones
into the world, man,

and you need to do
better for them."

Ooh, heart's racing.

[sighs]

My heart is beating hard
right now.

I'm just feeling weird.

It's not good.
It's really not good at all.

I think I'm having heart
palpitations or something.

Erin said, "If you start
worrying about your health

"or anything like that,
call it.

It's not worth it."

She said, "I would much
rather have you

than any amount of money."

Weakness, hunger,
mental battles,

they're all adding up.

[sighs]

I just feel so weak
and lethargic.

My body feels like
it's falling apart.

I'm sorry, Erin.
I'm really sorry.

- I'm sorry, Erin.
I'm really sorry.

[sniffles]

You gave it
everything I got.

[sniffles]

[soft downbeat music]

I know I can do
a few more days.

The person I was before,

I would have quit
when it got super hard.

But the hunger, the cold,
the weather,

I think it just has
hardened me

like quenching a blade
after forging it.

But the biggest factor
out here is the aloneness.

That's what takes people out
more than anything else,

but not me.

I can keep pushing with mental
toughness and keep going.

I wish I could be
with my family right now.

Sitting down to have
a good feast.

Still holding on.

I hope you guys are having
a good Thanksgiving

back in America.

I hope that you're not
being bombarded

with cold, windy storms.

And, um...

hopefully, I'll be back soon.

[soft dramatic music]

- [sighs]
Today...

Already wanna tear up.

Might shed a lot
of tears today.

Um...

[blows air]
Uh...

[soft dramatic music]

I'm not even gonna try to stop.

That doesn't even do any good.
[sniffles]

This is the first Thanksgiving
I've been away from Liz

since we've been together,
which is 23 years.

23 years,
she's been by my side.

Oh, man.

Days like today make me wanna
pick up that sat phone

and say,
"Come and get me right now."

We'll see.

Liz and I have been together
since we were 17.

She's always been there.

She has been a constant
in my life.

And when something or someone
is a constant in your life,

you take it for granted.

Think about your hand,
your right hand--

how often do you look
at your right hand

and you say, "You know what?

I am so grateful
I have this right hand"?

Never, you don't ever do that.

It's just always been there

and you assume it always
will be until it's not.

And then you think
how good you had it

when you had that right hand.

It's photo time.

I brought a family photo
with me

and I refrained
from looking at it.

But at this point,
I don't wanna be here.

I want to be with my family

because that is what
I am thankful for.

[exhales deeply]

[sniffles]

[exhales deeply]

[sighs and sniffles]

My boy, they ain't never
seen me shed a tear.

[soft tense music]

One of the things
that the total isolation

has brought into focus
for me is...

How incredibly lucky I am

to have her and those two boys.

I would die for any one of them
in a heartbeat.

[sighs]

I am so ready to get home
and to see all of them.

I'm so ready to hug my kids
and to kiss my wife,

and to wake up in the morning
with her beside me.

I really...

I really wanna be home.

[soft tense music]

[dramatic music]

- How's it going?
[chuckles]

Yep, it's that time.

Just got to the end, man.

The last couple of days,

my heart's been pounding
super hard

and breathing has been
a little labored,

and I reached the point where

I just felt that I couldn't do
it anymore.

[soft dramatic music]

I'm feeling emotional
about leaving.

[sniffles]
I didn't want to--

I didn't wanna quit.

But I'm proud
of the cabin I built.

Proud of the stuff I made,
and I'm proud

that I kept fighting through
all the failures.

My lady has been going
through pregnancy by herself

while I was out here.

I'm definitely ready
to go back home,

but it's still hard.

When I set out
on this adventure,

I just knew
I was gonna come out

and try as hard as I could
to stay as long as I could--

[sniffles]
And I did that.

It's really hard
to make it 73 days.

I'm leaving here
with my head high.

I learned a lot about pushing
past difficult times here,

mentally and physically.

And I leave here
a more fulfilled person,

a more understanding person.

I know my family is gonna be
proud of how I did,

even though things didn't work
out as I wanted them to.

I've always lived hand
to mouth pretty much

and it would have been
nice to win.

But I'm just gonna have
to work harder.

I'll figure out raising
those two girls.

The biggest win I have is
waiting back at home for me.

I wanna be a better man
than I've ever been.

I can't wait to show Erin.

[energetic dramatic music]

[birds singing]

- [sighs]

Thank you for the sunshine.

Little sun on your face sure
does wonders for the soul.

I'd just love to have Liz
and the boys here right now.

This would be a wonderful day
just to spend fishing

and turning over rocks.

Just exploring.

More days like this.
This is exactly what we need.

[soft dramatic music]

They're coming by today
for health check

and all that stuff,

so it's a good thing
it warmed up

'cause I wasn't
looking forward

to stripping down
to my skivvies.

Sit in the sun
on my half-finished box.

[sighs]

It's just a waiting game.

"Alone," they say,
"You should go do that.

Because at the end, there
may be a paycheck that's fat."

Surreal at first,
reality soon sets in.

You'd best find lots of food
before you get too thin.

Day after day,
the time grinds by,

and about 50 days in,
you begin to wonder why.

You felt it was a good idea
to come to this place...

As the time grinds by
and the sun sets the pace.

But the sun on your face
and a hare in the pot

makes you happy
to have filled this spot.

It won't be long now
before I'll be headed home...

And it will be quite some time

before I feel the need
to be alone.

[suspenseful dramatic music]

- Clay.
- Hello.

- And turn, please.

Okay.
Thanks.

How are you feeling?

- I mean, it's...

it's...

it's an amazing place.
It's--it's--

the scenery is beautiful.

The weather is questionable.
Um...

but...

I'm...

closing in on 100 days
of being away from my family.

And that's not--that's not fun.

You know,
I can handle the hunger.

I can handle the physical
challenges, you know,

but the toughest part
has always been...

not a word from them.

Nothing.

- How many days do you think
you have left in you?

- Depends on how many rabbits
and grouse I can catch.

I can make it to 90,
for certain.

And then I can
make it beyond that, uh...

I just don't know how far.

- Well, as it turns out...

you're not going to have
to do any of that.

It's time to go home, mate.

You've outlasted everyone.
- Oh, *bleep*.

I'm coming home, baby.
Oh, get the coffee ready.

[soft upbeat music]

*bleep*.

Oh, *bleep*.

Oh, boys--
[sniffles]

y'all get ready

'cause we got lots
of adventures to go on

when I get back.

[exhales deeply and chuckles]

Oh.

[sniffles]

[chuckles]

[sighs]

I'm thankful for every
single animal, every fish,

every mushroom and berry
that I found on this place.

I'm thankful for all of that.
They got me to this point.

They got me through,
but it doesn't matter.

I just wanna go home.
I don't care.

I mean, like I said,
I'm thankful for all of it,

but I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to see my kids
and my wife.

I love you.

More than anything.
[sniffles]

[phone line trilling]

Hey, baby.

- Oh, my God.
- I love you.

- Oh, I love you so much.
I've missed you so much.

- [chuckles]

I--

I'm coming home.
I'm the last one here.

- Oh, my God, Clay.

- Do you got the--do you got
the boys there with you?

- They're here.

- Guess what?
I'm coming home to see you.

I'm the last one.
[laughter]

I have missed you.

I've thought about both of you

every single day
since I've been out here.

I'm so ready to be home
to see you.

Love you.

This is the hardest thing
I've ever done,

but for reasons
I didn't expect.

I expected it to be
a physical challenge,

I expected it to be

a test of

my skills,

but it's a test of will.

It's a test of fortitude,

of resolve.

It was an emotional challenge
for me.

[dramatic music]

This experience changed me
as a person.

When you grind against the
reality of having to be there

with not enough to eat

and in total isolation
from your family,

that stuff exposes you.

It grinds away the facade,

the varnish
that you put on yourself,

and to have gone through it
and come out the other side,

I feel a better person.

That's the real prize,

because that will be with me
for the rest of my life.

That will be one of the most
valuable things

that I carry away from here--

is knowing in my bones...

A much deeper appreciation
for my family.