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[dramatic music]
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00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:15,394
♪ ♪
3
00:00:15,498 --> 00:00:16,809
- What's the *bleep*?
4
00:00:16,913 --> 00:00:19,467
The mouse chewed right
straight through my bowstring.
5
00:00:19,571 --> 00:00:21,435
- My hope of having
6
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:24,196
a good deer hunting spot
are crushed.
7
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,887
[groans]
8
00:00:25,991 --> 00:00:28,683
- If I can't bring
a fixed blade with me,
9
00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:31,583
cause I chose the multitool
then I just have to forge one.
10
00:00:31,686 --> 00:00:33,205
It's almost done.
11
00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:35,725
- I'm just gonna sit
for a second.
12
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:38,176
I am so dizzy and nauseous.
13
00:00:38,279 --> 00:00:40,799
I am afraid that
I poisoned myself.
14
00:00:40,902 --> 00:00:44,078
- This is Jordan.
I am officially tapping out.
15
00:00:44,182 --> 00:00:47,564
I find myself continuingly
thinking of my daughter,
16
00:00:47,668 --> 00:00:49,635
but the difference is,
at home,
17
00:00:49,739 --> 00:00:51,499
I can look into the eyes
of my wife,
18
00:00:51,603 --> 00:00:53,156
I can look into the eyes
of my son.
19
00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:55,055
And I see a part of her there,
20
00:00:55,158 --> 00:00:57,333
and that soothes me
and that comforts me,
21
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and I don't have that here.
22
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[dramatic musical sting]
23
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♪ ♪
24
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male narrator: In "Alone's"
most terrifying location yet,
25
00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:15,109
ten participants face
the deadliest predator
26
00:01:15,213 --> 00:01:17,077
in North America.
27
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,216
- There he is right there.
28
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:19,838
- Grizzly bears.
- Hey, bear.
29
00:01:19,941 --> 00:01:21,219
- There are a lot
of grizzly here.
30
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I'm gonna have to live
with them.
31
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- Go on! Get!
32
00:01:24,014 --> 00:01:25,982
- Every second we're on
the land, we're being hunted.
33
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,777
- Holy *bleep*, mountain lion.
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- He's circling around
my shelter.
35
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narrator:
Bone-chilling cold...
36
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,609
- Winter is coming.
37
00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:34,680
- You combine the wind
with the rain and the cold,
38
00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:36,579
this place could make
the Arctic look easy.
39
00:01:36,682 --> 00:01:38,305
- Oh, *bleep*.
40
00:01:38,408 --> 00:01:40,169
narrator:
And complete isolation.
41
00:01:40,272 --> 00:01:41,998
- You cannot hide
from yourself
42
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,241
mentally and emotionally.
43
00:01:43,344 --> 00:01:44,449
- Ah!
44
00:01:44,552 --> 00:01:45,795
- There's no place to go.
45
00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:47,900
- I am suffering
from loneliness.
46
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narrator: Who will survive?
47
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- Yes! Yes!
48
00:01:51,559 --> 00:01:54,010
- This could be the end.
49
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,391
- I don't want to tap,
but I don't want
50
00:01:55,494 --> 00:01:56,737
to die either.
51
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,842
- You have to suffer
before you can succeed.
52
00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:00,154
[gagging]
53
00:02:00,258 --> 00:02:03,399
narrator:
The last one standing wins.
54
00:02:03,502 --> 00:02:05,401
- At what point
do I push the button?
55
00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:12,546
♪ ♪
56
00:02:45,993 --> 00:02:48,340
- I had a really strange
dream last night.
57
00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:50,963
So...
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00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:54,381
I'm sitting outside of
a restaurant with Joe Rogan,
59
00:02:54,484 --> 00:02:57,280
and Howard Stern walks up
and sits down.
60
00:02:57,384 --> 00:02:59,317
Before they go in,
Howard turns to me and said,
61
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:01,250
"Hey, why don't you come over
to my house later on?
62
00:03:01,353 --> 00:03:02,389
"Bring the boys.
63
00:03:02,492 --> 00:03:05,046
I've got two.
They'd get along fine."
64
00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:07,808
And I said, "All right, man.
Sounds good."
65
00:03:09,603 --> 00:03:11,432
That's it.
[chuckles]
66
00:03:18,128 --> 00:03:20,200
The belt's really
tightening up.
67
00:03:20,303 --> 00:03:21,994
It's a little concerning.
68
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:24,342
I've been fishing
several times,
69
00:03:24,445 --> 00:03:26,102
but nothing.
70
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,137
♪ ♪
71
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,208
Oh, yes--
72
00:03:28,311 --> 00:03:30,037
aw, damn it.
73
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:31,314
Take it, take it.
Take it, take it.
74
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:33,868
Oh...aw.
75
00:03:33,972 --> 00:03:36,354
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
76
00:03:36,457 --> 00:03:39,184
Son of a bitch.
77
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:41,393
Fishing is supposed
to be relaxing.
78
00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:44,120
It's the most stressful fishing
I've ever done.
79
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,742
♪ ♪
80
00:03:45,846 --> 00:03:47,537
The closest deep water
81
00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,815
where I think the fishing
would be decent is
82
00:03:49,919 --> 00:03:52,128
a quarter-mile down
to the big rock.
83
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:55,683
So today, I'm gonna start
on a landing net.
84
00:03:55,787 --> 00:03:58,238
I just need something
to dip down in there
85
00:03:58,341 --> 00:03:59,791
and get those fish because
86
00:03:59,894 --> 00:04:02,932
I'm gonna end up losing them
if I don't have a net.
87
00:04:03,035 --> 00:04:05,486
Alder wood.
88
00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:07,005
I need some alder wood.
89
00:04:07,108 --> 00:04:08,972
♪ ♪
90
00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:10,905
This is not the area
91
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:13,322
that I was hoping it would be.
92
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:15,772
Yeah, that'll work.
93
00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:17,257
♪ ♪
94
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,294
My chances of killing a deer
are very low.
95
00:04:20,398 --> 00:04:21,847
♪ ♪
96
00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:24,022
The more I think about it,
I don't know if those deer
97
00:04:24,125 --> 00:04:25,886
are gonna be down here
98
00:04:25,989 --> 00:04:29,303
until late with this weather
being so mild.
99
00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:32,582
And so fishing maybe
the ticket for me here.
100
00:04:32,686 --> 00:04:35,999
I think I'll give this net
to Koi when I get back.
101
00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,898
He'd like that.
102
00:04:38,001 --> 00:04:39,658
I have to make Fin something.
103
00:04:39,762 --> 00:04:42,040
♪ ♪
104
00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:45,043
[whistling]
105
00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:52,188
♪ ♪
106
00:04:58,781 --> 00:05:01,680
[grunts]
There we go.
107
00:05:01,784 --> 00:05:03,061
I'm gonna lay the net.
108
00:05:03,164 --> 00:05:06,167
Ready to rock and roll.
109
00:05:06,271 --> 00:05:07,859
Man, yeah!
110
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:13,036
♪ ♪
111
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:15,522
The fish ain't gonna know
what hit them.
112
00:05:15,625 --> 00:05:20,665
♪ ♪
113
00:05:20,768 --> 00:05:22,874
All right.
114
00:05:22,977 --> 00:05:25,255
Let's try it out.
115
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,292
I think the lake level
came up some.
116
00:05:27,396 --> 00:05:28,914
I've gotta be careful.
117
00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:36,059
♪ ♪
118
00:05:59,807 --> 00:06:03,121
[hisses]
No, don't do that!
119
00:06:03,224 --> 00:06:06,158
[groans]
120
00:06:06,262 --> 00:06:07,988
Yeah.
121
00:06:08,091 --> 00:06:09,714
♪ ♪
122
00:06:09,817 --> 00:06:13,303
Thought it was gonna sink
for a minute.
123
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:16,686
You have to be careful...
124
00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:18,516
about that stuff.
125
00:06:18,619 --> 00:06:21,104
♪ ♪
126
00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:30,182
♪
127
00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:34,635
Come on, fishy, fishy.
128
00:06:34,739 --> 00:06:41,780
♪ ♪
129
00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:56,761
Nada.
130
00:06:56,864 --> 00:06:59,488
♪ ♪
131
00:06:59,591 --> 00:07:01,075
I need food.
132
00:07:01,179 --> 00:07:03,043
I don't know how far
this thing is going.
133
00:07:03,146 --> 00:07:05,355
It could go over 100 days.
134
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,185
Oh, *bleep*.
135
00:07:07,288 --> 00:07:10,360
There are some very
strong-willed people here,
136
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:14,123
people that are not going
to give up easily,
137
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:18,230
and I cannot out-starve
anyone.
138
00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:25,341
♪ ♪
139
00:07:38,906 --> 00:07:41,391
- Freshwater snails.
140
00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:48,295
It's gonna be
an interesting meal.
141
00:07:48,398 --> 00:07:51,471
Gonna have some snails.
142
00:08:05,139 --> 00:08:08,039
[munches loudly]
143
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:09,765
Wow, really crunchy.
144
00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:18,152
Not much meat to speak of,
but...
145
00:08:18,256 --> 00:08:20,051
Hmm.
146
00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:23,537
Not a bad flavor.
147
00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:27,817
It reminds me a little bit
of clams...
148
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:29,923
with a lot of grit.
[chuckles]
149
00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:34,617
♪
150
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,101
I've been fishing a lot.
151
00:08:36,205 --> 00:08:38,103
I haven't been successful,
152
00:08:38,207 --> 00:08:40,934
and I don't wanna give up.
153
00:08:41,037 --> 00:08:44,558
So I'm gonna do a fish trap.
154
00:08:44,662 --> 00:08:46,974
I've been eating a lot
of random stuff:
155
00:08:47,078 --> 00:08:49,149
ants, crickets,
156
00:08:49,252 --> 00:08:52,255
lots of edibles,
but it's not enough.
157
00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:54,637
I need fish.
158
00:08:54,741 --> 00:08:58,330
♪ ♪
159
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:02,680
All right, the funnel
that'll lead them inside.
160
00:09:02,783 --> 00:09:04,474
Pretty small hole, but
161
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:07,443
those fish are pretty thin
162
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,065
there in the shallows.
163
00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:10,377
I hope it works.
164
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,621
♪ ♪
165
00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:14,346
I'm here to win it.
166
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:19,006
And I'm doing this for Mike.
167
00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:21,146
My husband has a brother.
168
00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,632
He has Down syndrome
169
00:09:23,735 --> 00:09:27,774
and he lives with us a month
out of the year.
170
00:09:27,877 --> 00:09:29,396
When they asked me, you know,
171
00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:30,949
"What would you do
with the money?"
172
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:34,228
I said,
"We would have Mike more."
173
00:09:34,332 --> 00:09:38,681
$500,000, that would allow him
to live with us full-time.
174
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:40,303
♪ ♪
175
00:09:40,407 --> 00:09:42,409
And he's so amazing.
176
00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:45,101
He's our guy.
177
00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:47,690
Yeah, there we go.
178
00:09:47,794 --> 00:09:49,209
♪ ♪
179
00:09:49,312 --> 00:09:52,833
Feeling a little more hopeful
about fishing.
180
00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:54,076
♪ ♪
181
00:09:54,179 --> 00:09:56,457
Out here, you do have to just
182
00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:58,805
keep, keep trying--
keep trying new things.
183
00:09:58,908 --> 00:10:01,428
If it's not working,
try something else.
184
00:10:01,531 --> 00:10:07,676
♪ ♪
185
00:10:07,779 --> 00:10:10,920
I feel like I can be here.
186
00:10:11,024 --> 00:10:14,752
I just need a way to get food.
187
00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:15,960
Okay.
188
00:10:16,063 --> 00:10:23,105
♪ ♪
189
00:10:31,492 --> 00:10:33,633
- We got the line,
we got the lures,
190
00:10:33,736 --> 00:10:35,393
we got the stuff,
we got the me.
191
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:38,223
Let's go, Chad!
192
00:10:38,327 --> 00:10:39,949
♪ It's time to go fishing ♪
193
00:10:40,053 --> 00:10:42,296
♪ 'Cause it's gonna be fun ♪
194
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,126
♪ I'm gonna see some fishes ♪
195
00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:46,162
♪ And I'll catch everyone ♪
196
00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:47,785
♪ In my pot tonight ♪
197
00:10:47,888 --> 00:10:49,752
♪ 'Cause I'm gonna
cook you up ♪
198
00:10:49,856 --> 00:10:51,754
♪ And I'm gonna catch you,
right ♪
199
00:10:51,858 --> 00:10:55,068
♪ And I'm gonna do it, what ♪
200
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:58,554
[vocalizes]
201
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,625
Oh, it's not too windy.
202
00:11:00,729 --> 00:11:03,628
♪ ♪
203
00:11:03,732 --> 00:11:05,941
I'm in such a brutal area
for fishing.
204
00:11:06,044 --> 00:11:09,496
I've got one reasonably close
deep channel,
205
00:11:09,599 --> 00:11:12,913
and my strategy is lures.
206
00:11:13,017 --> 00:11:14,812
They say there's a fine line
between fishing
207
00:11:14,915 --> 00:11:17,366
and standing on the shore
like an idiot,
208
00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:20,334
so I'm gonna see
which one it is.
209
00:11:32,277 --> 00:11:36,143
Oh, oh! Oh, I had a bite.
210
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:39,250
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, snag.
211
00:11:39,353 --> 00:11:41,942
[groans]
Please don't snag.
212
00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:45,083
[sighs]
I don't want to go in!
213
00:11:45,187 --> 00:11:47,361
But I don't wanna lose it!
214
00:11:47,465 --> 00:11:49,122
♪ ♪
215
00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:52,401
Whew, man!
I'm sucking right now.
216
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:59,546
♪ ♪
217
00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:02,238
Oh, it's cold.
It's cold.
218
00:12:02,342 --> 00:12:06,104
♪ ♪
219
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,485
Aw, it's deep.
220
00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:14,354
♪ ♪
221
00:12:14,457 --> 00:12:16,149
There we go.
I got it.
222
00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:20,843
♪ ♪
223
00:12:20,947 --> 00:12:23,777
Wow.
224
00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:25,952
I'm gonna get back at it.
225
00:12:26,055 --> 00:12:27,747
I'm not gonna give up.
226
00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:28,886
I don't just need a fish.
227
00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:31,405
I need a win,
228
00:12:31,509 --> 00:12:33,373
for my mental state.
229
00:12:33,476 --> 00:12:35,582
♪ ♪
230
00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:38,343
I'm thinking about my wife
today,
231
00:12:38,447 --> 00:12:40,587
since it's her birthday.
232
00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:43,901
Just, uh, feeling it
a little bit.
233
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:47,214
Feeling the remoteness
from my family.
234
00:12:47,318 --> 00:12:48,457
♪ ♪
235
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,424
*bleep*!
236
00:12:50,528 --> 00:12:53,669
From my normal life.
237
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,396
feeling a little defeatist.
238
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:59,537
But remembering to stay
in the moment more.
239
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,367
That's what it's gonna take
for me to win this.
240
00:13:02,471 --> 00:13:05,094
♪ ♪
241
00:13:05,198 --> 00:13:07,303
Oh, yeah. Yes!
242
00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:11,860
Yeah!
243
00:13:11,963 --> 00:13:13,102
Yes!
244
00:13:16,071 --> 00:13:18,659
Oh, it's tiny.
245
00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:21,041
You are not getting away,
my friend.
246
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:24,182
Oh, I'm gonna eat you
in a stew.
247
00:13:24,286 --> 00:13:26,150
Pretty. It's pretty.
248
00:13:26,253 --> 00:13:32,708
♪ ♪
249
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,815
I'm imagining one
of the other contestants
250
00:13:35,918 --> 00:13:38,438
with a big-ass fish,
251
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,371
and here I am
252
00:13:40,474 --> 00:13:43,305
with a tiny little fifth
of a pounder.
253
00:13:43,408 --> 00:13:44,616
♪ ♪
254
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,066
I mean, he's tiny.
255
00:13:46,170 --> 00:13:47,654
Let's not--
let's not build this up
256
00:13:47,757 --> 00:13:49,483
to a hero kind of ordeal.
257
00:13:49,587 --> 00:13:51,520
This is no hero fish.
258
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:55,973
♪ ♪
259
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:58,044
All right.
Let's eat this soup.
260
00:13:58,147 --> 00:14:03,049
♪ ♪
261
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:05,120
Roast up these bones.
262
00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:12,921
Who knew that roasted bones,
263
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:15,095
so good?
264
00:14:20,411 --> 00:14:22,585
Of course, I just talked
about how great that meal is,
265
00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:24,656
and I'm already, like, hungry.
266
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:30,766
♪ ♪
267
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,699
Well Chad,
268
00:14:32,802 --> 00:14:36,116
you can't win them all.
269
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,049
I'm gonna do my meditation,
270
00:14:38,153 --> 00:14:39,568
'cause I think it's time.
271
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,259
I think it's that time of day.
272
00:14:41,363 --> 00:14:43,779
♪ ♪
273
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,470
I'm like,
274
00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:48,404
judging my whole life.
275
00:14:48,508 --> 00:14:50,406
I'm afraid that people
will look and say
276
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:53,996
that this person
doesn't have skill level.
277
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:57,344
I mean, this is
what I do professionally.
278
00:14:57,448 --> 00:15:00,278
Like, I get paid
to teach survival skills.
279
00:15:00,382 --> 00:15:03,005
And I'm, like, out here, and
280
00:15:03,109 --> 00:15:07,216
it's just been all my failures
in front of the world.
281
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,255
So I'm doing these meditations
where I meet up with my wife.
282
00:15:11,358 --> 00:15:14,016
She's the one with the mental
and emotional fortitude
283
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,742
in the family.
284
00:15:15,845 --> 00:15:17,502
[inhales deeply]
285
00:15:17,606 --> 00:15:19,539
And I can feel her energy.
286
00:15:19,642 --> 00:15:23,508
I can feel her presence
strongly.
287
00:15:23,612 --> 00:15:26,373
[exhales sharply]
288
00:15:26,477 --> 00:15:28,099
I miss her bad.
289
00:15:31,378 --> 00:15:38,385
♪
290
00:15:56,403 --> 00:15:57,887
- There she is.
291
00:15:59,544 --> 00:16:01,236
A work of art.
292
00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:07,276
The mountain-forged nail knife.
293
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,898
Quick in the hand.
294
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,935
I used some snare wire.
295
00:16:11,039 --> 00:16:13,627
Fashioned a little guard,
296
00:16:13,731 --> 00:16:16,285
a little blade stop.
297
00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:19,185
Actually pretty strong 'cause
it's stainless steel wire.
298
00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:21,981
Multi-layered.
299
00:16:24,638 --> 00:16:26,433
See what you can do with a--
300
00:16:26,537 --> 00:16:29,367
a rusty old nail
you find on shore.
301
00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:34,234
[imitates whooshing]
302
00:16:36,064 --> 00:16:37,962
Let's try it out real quick.
303
00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:41,448
♪ ♪
304
00:16:41,552 --> 00:16:43,554
People are either gonna like
me, or they're gonna think
305
00:16:43,657 --> 00:16:45,659
I'm the weirdest *bleep*
out there.
306
00:16:45,763 --> 00:16:49,663
♪ ♪
307
00:16:49,767 --> 00:16:50,975
All right.
308
00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:56,360
♪ ♪
309
00:16:56,463 --> 00:16:58,155
Look at that.
310
00:16:58,258 --> 00:17:02,193
I'm splitting wood with my...
311
00:17:02,297 --> 00:17:04,333
troll-forged knife.
312
00:17:04,437 --> 00:17:06,680
That's pretty cool.
313
00:17:06,784 --> 00:17:09,442
People will be like,
"Biko sucked at getting food.
314
00:17:11,478 --> 00:17:15,172
"But man, he forged that knife
315
00:17:15,275 --> 00:17:18,278
"and he built
a pretty cool shelter, so
316
00:17:18,382 --> 00:17:20,660
he's not totally worthless."
317
00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:21,799
[chuckles]
318
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,663
♪ ♪
319
00:17:23,766 --> 00:17:26,217
I definitely expected
to catch a fish by now,
320
00:17:26,321 --> 00:17:28,840
so it's been
kind of disheartening.
321
00:17:28,944 --> 00:17:31,912
And it ain't even
gotten tough yet.
322
00:17:32,016 --> 00:17:34,743
This is not an easy place
to survive.
323
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,020
♪ ♪
324
00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:38,471
Got to figure out fishing.
325
00:17:38,574 --> 00:17:40,956
I'm gonna make a fish basket.
326
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,510
Try it out.
It could work.
327
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:44,787
♪ ♪
328
00:17:44,891 --> 00:17:47,894
We shall use willow.
329
00:17:47,997 --> 00:17:49,206
[nasally]
"Willow."
330
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,451
What a great movie.
331
00:17:56,627 --> 00:17:58,387
"Out of the way, Peck."
332
00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:04,324
Oh, I hope
I can catch a fish soon.
333
00:18:04,428 --> 00:18:06,878
I'm gonna be sexy when
I get out of here, though.
334
00:18:06,982 --> 00:18:08,846
No more fat Biko,
335
00:18:08,949 --> 00:18:11,883
or maybe I'll be malnourished
and weak.
336
00:18:11,987 --> 00:18:17,372
♪ ♪
337
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:19,857
I wonder how everyone's doing.
338
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,343
I wonder
if anyone has tapped out.
339
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:27,106
A bunch of grizzly bears,
not a lot of food.
340
00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:28,348
♪ ♪
341
00:18:28,452 --> 00:18:29,970
Come on, there's got
to be somebody
342
00:18:30,074 --> 00:18:32,111
who's ready to go home.
343
00:18:32,214 --> 00:18:33,457
Anyone got the time?
344
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:37,530
Is it other contestants
tap out o'clock yet?
345
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:39,704
I'm gonna do my best,
either way.
346
00:18:39,808 --> 00:18:43,570
♪ ♪
347
00:18:43,674 --> 00:18:45,365
Damn, that's ugly.
348
00:18:45,469 --> 00:18:46,711
♪ ♪
349
00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:48,541
Oh, well.
350
00:18:48,644 --> 00:18:50,508
I don't have much care.
351
00:18:50,612 --> 00:18:52,717
♪ ♪
352
00:18:52,821 --> 00:18:53,787
[branches snap]
353
00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:55,548
[dramatic musical sting]
354
00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,343
[water splashing]
355
00:18:57,446 --> 00:19:04,557
♪ ♪
356
00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:08,871
Holy *bleep*!
Those are bears.
357
00:19:08,975 --> 00:19:11,046
Grizzly bears.
358
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,427
Go on! Get!
359
00:19:12,530 --> 00:19:14,808
♪ ♪
360
00:19:14,912 --> 00:19:17,604
Looked like a couple of cubs.
361
00:19:17,708 --> 00:19:18,674
Hey!
362
00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:19,779
[air horn toots]
363
00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:26,441
♪
364
00:19:26,544 --> 00:19:28,995
Hopefully Mama's not around.
365
00:19:29,098 --> 00:19:31,549
♪ ♪
366
00:19:31,653 --> 00:19:34,069
Freakin' heart's racing.
367
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,277
[exhales]
368
00:19:35,381 --> 00:19:36,968
They're a lot bigger
than I thought.
369
00:19:37,072 --> 00:19:39,730
♪ ♪
370
00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:41,939
Got my adrenaline pumping.
371
00:19:42,042 --> 00:19:44,769
♪ ♪
372
00:19:44,873 --> 00:19:46,840
I've never been anywhere
373
00:19:46,944 --> 00:19:48,704
where grizzlies exist,
374
00:19:48,808 --> 00:19:51,742
so this is a first for me.
375
00:19:51,845 --> 00:19:54,123
Knowing that these things
could cause serious harm
376
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:57,368
to you, it's a scary thought.
377
00:19:57,472 --> 00:19:59,128
They're moving
through my area,
378
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,752
and it's something that's
in the back of my head
379
00:20:01,855 --> 00:20:03,271
all the time.
380
00:20:03,374 --> 00:20:06,274
♪ ♪
381
00:20:06,377 --> 00:20:10,657
I got freakin' shoreline PTSD.
382
00:20:10,761 --> 00:20:15,075
♪ ♪
383
00:20:15,179 --> 00:20:18,562
I'm gonna go deploy
my fish trap.
384
00:20:18,665 --> 00:20:21,392
Here we go.
385
00:20:21,496 --> 00:20:24,395
Hopefully I don't run
into a grizzly.
386
00:20:24,499 --> 00:20:31,299
♪ ♪
387
00:20:31,402 --> 00:20:32,955
Even with starvation
388
00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:35,337
and grizzly bears coming
into my camp,
389
00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:37,926
I just got to keep keeping on.
390
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,584
I've got a lot of weight
on me.
391
00:20:40,687 --> 00:20:43,621
But if I'm gonna stay here
a long time,
392
00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:46,210
I can't just starve
the whole time.
393
00:20:46,314 --> 00:20:47,315
♪ ♪
394
00:20:53,597 --> 00:20:55,495
I hope that as time goes on,
395
00:20:55,599 --> 00:20:58,671
as I get things more set up
and more comfortable,
396
00:20:58,774 --> 00:21:02,157
that I get more bold
in food production.
397
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:17,103
♪
398
00:21:36,881 --> 00:21:39,850
- I kind of wanna have
a cook shelter.
399
00:21:39,953 --> 00:21:44,095
It's a little bit of
protection for the fireplace.
400
00:21:44,199 --> 00:21:47,271
It will be better
than being out
401
00:21:47,375 --> 00:21:49,273
in the wind.
402
00:21:49,377 --> 00:21:51,413
Whew!
403
00:21:51,517 --> 00:21:55,141
[inhales deeply,
exhales sharply]
404
00:21:55,244 --> 00:21:58,524
I just feel really...
405
00:21:58,627 --> 00:22:01,043
just super weak.
406
00:22:01,147 --> 00:22:06,290
♪ ♪
407
00:22:06,394 --> 00:22:08,292
Just get some more food in me.
408
00:22:08,396 --> 00:22:09,949
Maybe that'll help.
409
00:22:10,052 --> 00:22:12,089
♪ ♪
410
00:22:12,192 --> 00:22:14,643
I'm still finding
tons of edibles,
411
00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:16,680
but you have
to eat a lot of it.
412
00:22:16,783 --> 00:22:20,442
It's just low-calorie food
and low fat.
413
00:22:20,546 --> 00:22:22,410
♪ ♪
414
00:22:22,513 --> 00:22:24,757
Throw some...
415
00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:28,174
fireweed leaves in there.
416
00:22:28,277 --> 00:22:31,419
Hopefully, there's something
in the fish trap.
417
00:22:31,522 --> 00:22:34,560
Getting some fish soon
can give me enough energy
418
00:22:34,663 --> 00:22:36,941
to sustain me.
419
00:22:37,045 --> 00:22:38,943
I need some bigger meals
420
00:22:39,047 --> 00:22:41,394
to be able to stay out here.
421
00:22:41,498 --> 00:22:43,569
♪ ♪
422
00:22:43,672 --> 00:22:46,330
So I have a confession
to make.
423
00:22:46,434 --> 00:22:50,403
I've been so concerned
about salt, salt intake.
424
00:22:50,507 --> 00:22:52,888
Like, we need, we need
daily salt intake.
425
00:22:52,992 --> 00:22:57,410
Like, it's really critical for
all of your body functionings,
426
00:22:57,514 --> 00:23:01,518
and I don't have
the salt source,
427
00:23:01,621 --> 00:23:04,486
so I have been eating
my own mucus.
428
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:07,282
[chuckles]
429
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,836
Oh, my God.
That's so gross.
430
00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:11,666
Yeah, so when my nose runs,
431
00:23:11,769 --> 00:23:14,738
I just eat all the mucus,
432
00:23:14,841 --> 00:23:17,396
and it is very salty.
433
00:23:17,499 --> 00:23:20,882
It is much less salty
than it was at the beginning,
434
00:23:20,985 --> 00:23:23,505
so I know I'm depleted,
435
00:23:23,609 --> 00:23:26,957
but it kept me
from losing so much.
436
00:23:28,786 --> 00:23:31,410
I feel really guilty
for all those kids I told
437
00:23:31,513 --> 00:23:34,274
to stop picking their nose
and eating it all those--
438
00:23:34,378 --> 00:23:37,174
all these years as a teacher.
439
00:23:37,277 --> 00:23:38,969
Go ahead, kids.
Eat your own mucus.
440
00:23:39,072 --> 00:23:40,280
Like--
441
00:23:40,384 --> 00:23:42,731
[laughs]
442
00:23:42,835 --> 00:23:44,492
Oh, my God.
443
00:23:44,595 --> 00:23:45,803
♪ ♪
444
00:23:45,907 --> 00:23:47,943
You do a lot of
disgusting things out here
445
00:23:48,047 --> 00:23:50,187
that, like, you just
would not ever think
446
00:23:50,290 --> 00:23:51,291
that you're gonna do,
447
00:23:51,395 --> 00:23:54,294
but you're really trying
to stay
448
00:23:54,398 --> 00:23:56,504
in whatever way you can.
449
00:23:56,607 --> 00:23:57,505
♪ ♪
450
00:23:57,608 --> 00:24:00,128
I need to get food.
451
00:24:00,231 --> 00:24:04,028
For me, fishing is
the only thing
452
00:24:04,132 --> 00:24:06,548
that will sustain my tiny,
453
00:24:06,652 --> 00:24:09,068
wiry body.
454
00:24:09,171 --> 00:24:13,141
♪ ♪
455
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:16,627
Okay, let's go down
and check our fish trap.
456
00:24:16,731 --> 00:24:18,249
♪ ♪
457
00:24:18,353 --> 00:24:20,217
I think the fish basket
458
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,702
is probably my best bet.
459
00:24:22,806 --> 00:24:27,845
♪ ♪
460
00:24:29,916 --> 00:24:32,609
♪
461
00:24:49,936 --> 00:24:52,560
♪
462
00:25:08,645 --> 00:25:15,652
♪
463
00:25:19,587 --> 00:25:22,106
I don't feel like
I'm in a very...
464
00:25:22,210 --> 00:25:25,316
sustainable pattern.
465
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:28,216
More fishing disappointment.
466
00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:32,013
I just feel like I can't win,
you know?
467
00:25:32,116 --> 00:25:33,601
[sighs]
468
00:25:33,704 --> 00:25:35,292
And then, you're
right back down again.
469
00:25:35,395 --> 00:25:37,259
Up and down.
470
00:25:37,363 --> 00:25:42,713
♪ ♪
471
00:25:42,817 --> 00:25:46,821
I don't really think of myself
as, you know, that hardcore.
472
00:25:46,924 --> 00:25:49,962
But this is hardcore.
[chuckles]
473
00:25:50,065 --> 00:25:54,104
It's a big mental
and physical challenge.
474
00:25:54,207 --> 00:25:56,934
For me, it's been
much more physical.
475
00:25:57,038 --> 00:25:59,972
Just the lack of food.
476
00:26:00,075 --> 00:26:03,147
My mind feels relatively
477
00:26:03,251 --> 00:26:04,908
strong and clear.
478
00:26:05,011 --> 00:26:09,360
♪ ♪
479
00:26:09,464 --> 00:26:12,536
This is very challenging,
you know,
480
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,471
to keep going amidst setbacks.
481
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:23,582
♪ ♪
482
00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:41,565
- I've got a mustache.
483
00:26:41,669 --> 00:26:43,153
It's gigantic.
484
00:26:45,673 --> 00:26:48,296
That's a mustache.
485
00:26:48,399 --> 00:26:51,057
[vocalizes]
486
00:26:51,161 --> 00:26:53,577
♪ ♪
487
00:26:53,681 --> 00:26:56,718
I don't know how to groom it.
488
00:26:56,822 --> 00:26:59,790
If I can get a handlebar...
489
00:26:59,894 --> 00:27:02,413
♪ ♪
490
00:27:02,517 --> 00:27:03,967
These guys.
491
00:27:04,070 --> 00:27:05,762
♪ ♪
492
00:27:05,865 --> 00:27:08,834
Handlebar mustache.
493
00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:28,647
♪
494
00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:32,512
I need to remedy
my sleeping situation.
495
00:27:32,616 --> 00:27:35,274
All right.
496
00:27:35,377 --> 00:27:37,172
I've had two spine surgeries,
497
00:27:37,276 --> 00:27:40,762
and sleeping on spruced boughs
and gravel
498
00:27:40,866 --> 00:27:42,246
gets kind of rough.
499
00:27:42,350 --> 00:27:44,283
Every day, I wake up,
500
00:27:44,386 --> 00:27:47,700
and my whole left thigh
is numb.
501
00:27:47,804 --> 00:27:50,254
♪ ♪
502
00:27:50,358 --> 00:27:53,533
So I'm gonna make
a suspension hammock bed,
503
00:27:53,637 --> 00:27:55,950
which takes me
completely off the ground
504
00:27:56,053 --> 00:27:58,711
using rope I found
on the beach.
505
00:27:58,815 --> 00:27:59,954
♪ ♪
506
00:28:00,057 --> 00:28:01,852
Not a lot.
507
00:28:01,956 --> 00:28:04,372
Maybe it's just
under four feet.
508
00:28:06,029 --> 00:28:09,101
What I'm gonna do
509
00:28:09,204 --> 00:28:12,656
is make a stranded
510
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,625
woven bed
511
00:28:16,729 --> 00:28:18,524
using this
512
00:28:18,627 --> 00:28:22,079
as my supports.
513
00:28:24,081 --> 00:28:27,360
♪
514
00:28:27,464 --> 00:28:30,398
I don't know what box
to put myself in.
515
00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:34,298
I'm not a survivalist.
I'm not a bushcrafter.
516
00:28:34,402 --> 00:28:36,128
I'm barely a homesteader.
517
00:28:36,231 --> 00:28:38,855
I bought 40 acres
and built a house on it.
518
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:40,719
♪ ♪
519
00:28:40,822 --> 00:28:43,066
Who thinks this is gonna work?
520
00:28:43,169 --> 00:28:44,964
♪ ♪
521
00:28:45,068 --> 00:28:48,036
I think it is.
522
00:28:48,140 --> 00:28:50,763
For me, my skill set is that
523
00:28:50,867 --> 00:28:52,627
I'm not afraid to try it
524
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:55,457
and I'm creative
at problem solving.
525
00:28:55,561 --> 00:28:58,081
I seek out the challenge.
526
00:28:58,184 --> 00:28:59,220
[grunts]
527
00:28:59,323 --> 00:29:01,636
So if I desire
to do something,
528
00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:02,775
I just do it.
529
00:29:02,879 --> 00:29:04,812
It's just like buying 40 acres
530
00:29:04,915 --> 00:29:07,021
and being told there's
no water in those hills
531
00:29:07,124 --> 00:29:09,092
and moving your family
up there
532
00:29:09,195 --> 00:29:11,819
and digging four holes in the
earth until you find water.
533
00:29:11,922 --> 00:29:13,579
And then, I found water.
534
00:29:13,682 --> 00:29:16,651
People would usually say
that's a scary situation,
535
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,309
but that's how I live my life.
536
00:29:19,412 --> 00:29:21,863
♪ ♪
537
00:29:21,967 --> 00:29:25,073
I didn't grow up with a dad.
538
00:29:25,177 --> 00:29:28,456
And I learned a long time ago,
539
00:29:28,559 --> 00:29:30,216
I'm the only one
that can stop me
540
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,494
from accomplishing anything.
541
00:29:32,598 --> 00:29:33,979
I am.
542
00:29:34,082 --> 00:29:41,089
♪ ♪
543
00:29:42,435 --> 00:29:45,093
So, let's test it out.
544
00:29:45,197 --> 00:29:48,027
♪ ♪
545
00:29:53,067 --> 00:29:56,104
[moaning]
546
00:29:58,313 --> 00:29:59,659
Perfect.
547
00:30:02,179 --> 00:30:04,181
This is gonna change
548
00:30:04,285 --> 00:30:07,184
my sleeping.
549
00:30:07,288 --> 00:30:08,427
Awesome.
550
00:30:10,498 --> 00:30:13,156
And I'm off the ground.
551
00:30:13,259 --> 00:30:14,985
[sighs contentedly]
552
00:30:15,089 --> 00:30:17,298
Beautiful.
553
00:30:17,401 --> 00:30:24,443
♪ ♪
554
00:30:42,771 --> 00:30:45,188
- So I'm totally breaking
every single safety protocol
555
00:30:45,291 --> 00:30:46,879
in my handbook.
556
00:30:46,983 --> 00:30:50,503
I'd say I'm about 40 feet up
in this spruce tree,
557
00:30:50,607 --> 00:30:53,886
But, man,
558
00:30:53,990 --> 00:30:57,510
check out this view
of the lake.
559
00:30:57,614 --> 00:30:59,478
Isn't that fantastic?
560
00:31:01,929 --> 00:31:04,724
I've been thinking
about my family a lot today.
561
00:31:04,828 --> 00:31:08,314
It's not gonna help
keep me focused in the game,
562
00:31:08,418 --> 00:31:10,351
but it's hard not to.
563
00:31:10,454 --> 00:31:13,802
I love them, and I miss them.
564
00:31:13,906 --> 00:31:20,326
♪ ♪
565
00:31:20,430 --> 00:31:23,364
I'm doing everything that
I've been trained to do,
566
00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:26,436
but I can't focus my mind
and my emotions enough.
567
00:31:26,539 --> 00:31:28,403
Let's go, Chad.
568
00:31:28,507 --> 00:31:31,268
I just need to change
my mental approach to this.
569
00:31:31,372 --> 00:31:34,375
Be here now.
570
00:31:34,478 --> 00:31:36,101
Go to the survival mind,
571
00:31:36,204 --> 00:31:37,861
'cause that survival mind
is not concerned
572
00:31:37,965 --> 00:31:39,173
with your emotions.
573
00:31:39,276 --> 00:31:40,864
It's not concerned
with your frustrations.
574
00:31:40,968 --> 00:31:42,693
It's not concerned
with your mental hurdles.
575
00:31:42,797 --> 00:31:44,143
It's only concerned with,
576
00:31:44,247 --> 00:31:46,905
what is the most important
thing to keep me alive.
577
00:31:47,008 --> 00:31:49,804
I keep feeling breezes
inside the debris hut,
578
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:52,634
and those are gonna be
not so much fun
579
00:31:52,738 --> 00:31:55,189
when the temperature
really drops.
580
00:31:55,292 --> 00:31:57,708
Being cold is
a big calorie burn,
581
00:31:57,812 --> 00:31:59,814
and I can't afford that.
582
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:04,025
I have the least fat
of anybody on my body.
583
00:32:04,129 --> 00:32:05,647
I don't have that much
to lose,
584
00:32:05,751 --> 00:32:08,029
and if I'm burning calories
by shivering,
585
00:32:08,133 --> 00:32:10,618
it's gonna be a bad situation.
586
00:32:10,721 --> 00:32:12,931
♪ ♪
587
00:32:13,034 --> 00:32:15,312
There's nice, soft,
588
00:32:15,416 --> 00:32:17,797
cushy grasses here.
589
00:32:17,901 --> 00:32:19,282
So I think that's gonna help
590
00:32:19,385 --> 00:32:22,457
both for water shedding
and insulation.
591
00:32:22,561 --> 00:32:25,219
♪ ♪
592
00:32:25,322 --> 00:32:26,979
Thank you, my friends.
593
00:32:29,464 --> 00:32:31,190
Thank you.
594
00:32:31,294 --> 00:32:33,123
The grasses, the mosses.
595
00:32:34,953 --> 00:32:37,507
There's no such thing
as enough debris.
596
00:32:41,269 --> 00:32:43,030
Oh, *bleep*.
[hornets buzzing]
597
00:32:43,133 --> 00:32:44,169
Hornets.
598
00:32:44,272 --> 00:32:51,279
♪ ♪
599
00:32:53,454 --> 00:32:55,801
Mm-mm, don't get me.
600
00:32:55,904 --> 00:32:57,596
Ah, *bleep*!
601
00:32:57,699 --> 00:32:59,425
Ah, *bleep*.
602
00:32:59,529 --> 00:33:00,806
Whoa!
603
00:33:06,432 --> 00:33:07,433
*bleep*!
604
00:33:07,537 --> 00:33:08,641
[groans]
605
00:33:08,745 --> 00:33:09,608
[buzzing continues]
606
00:33:09,711 --> 00:33:11,782
*bleep*!
607
00:33:11,886 --> 00:33:13,957
It's the end of that.
608
00:33:14,061 --> 00:33:16,891
Little bastards got me.
609
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:19,514
Look at them all.
610
00:33:19,618 --> 00:33:20,722
[sighs]
611
00:33:20,826 --> 00:33:22,897
♪ ♪
612
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:25,279
Look, they're all over
my little pile here.
613
00:33:25,382 --> 00:33:28,627
♪ ♪
614
00:33:28,730 --> 00:33:31,457
Got my handful from them.
615
00:33:31,561 --> 00:33:33,770
[sighs]
Well, that sucks *bleep*.
616
00:33:33,873 --> 00:33:35,737
♪ ♪
617
00:33:35,841 --> 00:33:38,740
Let's go home, Chad.
618
00:33:38,844 --> 00:33:41,295
♪ ♪
619
00:33:41,398 --> 00:33:43,814
This is
a very unique challenge.
620
00:33:43,918 --> 00:33:47,301
You can't let
the negative thoughts
621
00:33:47,404 --> 00:33:49,406
get the best of you.
622
00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:51,098
Ah, *bleep*.
623
00:33:51,201 --> 00:33:58,208
♪ ♪
624
00:34:01,729 --> 00:34:04,697
Gosh, what a blessing it is
to be here.
625
00:34:04,801 --> 00:34:07,355
I mean, it's hard as *bleep*.
[chuckles]
626
00:34:07,459 --> 00:34:08,874
♪ ♪
627
00:34:08,977 --> 00:34:12,257
It's hard to have failures
on television.
628
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,431
It's so hard on your mind
and your emotions,
629
00:34:14,535 --> 00:34:17,089
so *bleep* hard.
630
00:34:17,193 --> 00:34:19,574
Anytime I've ever done this,
631
00:34:19,678 --> 00:34:21,749
it was for, like,
a week at a time,
632
00:34:21,852 --> 00:34:25,132
but that was, like,
planned 10 days.
633
00:34:25,235 --> 00:34:26,892
This is, like, unplanned,
634
00:34:26,995 --> 00:34:29,481
who knows how the hell long
I'll be gone
635
00:34:29,584 --> 00:34:33,312
from my family, and my life,
and blah, blah, blah.
636
00:34:33,416 --> 00:34:34,831
And I don't care.
637
00:34:34,934 --> 00:34:39,215
Anybody can judge me
all you want.
638
00:34:39,318 --> 00:34:41,769
You are not out here doing it.
639
00:34:41,872 --> 00:34:44,082
So who the hell are you
to judge?
640
00:34:44,185 --> 00:34:47,844
Just sit there and eat
your popcorn and your chips
641
00:34:47,947 --> 00:34:49,639
and get all fat
642
00:34:49,742 --> 00:34:52,159
while I'm out here starving!
643
00:34:52,262 --> 00:34:55,438
For your *bleep* entertainment!
644
00:34:55,541 --> 00:34:57,543
♪ ♪
645
00:34:57,647 --> 00:34:59,959
To entertain you.
646
00:35:00,063 --> 00:35:02,790
I'm going *bleep* crazy
out here
647
00:35:02,893 --> 00:35:05,103
to entertain you.
648
00:35:05,206 --> 00:35:07,588
What the *bleep* is that?
649
00:35:07,691 --> 00:35:10,073
*bleep*.
650
00:35:10,177 --> 00:35:12,834
You're *bleep* sitting at home
eating right now!
651
00:35:12,938 --> 00:35:16,079
You're not out here.
You're not out here.
652
00:35:16,183 --> 00:35:18,288
Who the *bleep* are you
to judge?
653
00:35:18,392 --> 00:35:25,399
♪ ♪
654
00:35:38,446 --> 00:35:40,517
- My teeth are, like...
655
00:35:40,621 --> 00:35:45,971
♪ ♪
656
00:35:46,074 --> 00:35:49,285
Like, totally discolored.
657
00:35:49,388 --> 00:35:51,597
Like, I saw that
and I was like,
658
00:35:51,701 --> 00:35:53,806
"What the hell?"
659
00:35:53,910 --> 00:35:55,498
♪ ♪
660
00:35:55,601 --> 00:35:57,500
I don't know,
something I'm eating
661
00:35:57,603 --> 00:36:00,986
or just maybe
just the malnutrition.
662
00:36:01,089 --> 00:36:02,160
I have no idea.
663
00:36:07,303 --> 00:36:11,721
♪
664
00:36:11,824 --> 00:36:15,518
Right now,
it's really pretty dire.
665
00:36:15,621 --> 00:36:18,486
The fish trap was
really discouraging.
666
00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:20,108
♪ ♪
667
00:36:20,212 --> 00:36:22,110
Today, I might
kind of look around
668
00:36:22,214 --> 00:36:24,423
'cause I've definitely
seen some grouse.
669
00:36:24,527 --> 00:36:26,253
I need to get some food.
670
00:36:26,356 --> 00:36:27,323
♪ ♪
671
00:36:27,426 --> 00:36:28,979
And the bow.
672
00:36:31,016 --> 00:36:33,087
I feel like I need to...
673
00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:35,089
cinch my pants again.
674
00:36:38,092 --> 00:36:39,473
Thank goodness for these layers
675
00:36:39,576 --> 00:36:41,647
or these pants would be
676
00:36:41,751 --> 00:36:43,408
falling right off me.
677
00:36:43,511 --> 00:36:45,444
♪ ♪
678
00:36:45,548 --> 00:36:47,929
I know that I'm under
100 pounds at this point
679
00:36:48,033 --> 00:36:50,242
and I know that this is
dangerous territory.
680
00:36:50,346 --> 00:36:51,588
Okay.
681
00:36:51,692 --> 00:36:53,901
Despite eating as much
as I possibly can
682
00:36:54,004 --> 00:36:56,352
of a variety of weird *bleep*,
683
00:36:56,455 --> 00:37:00,114
I'm trying my hardest to get
as many things into my body
684
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:03,669
as possible,
and it's not working.
685
00:37:03,773 --> 00:37:05,430
If I can't get food,
686
00:37:05,533 --> 00:37:08,364
then I can't--
I can't be here.
687
00:37:08,467 --> 00:37:11,298
♪ ♪
688
00:37:11,401 --> 00:37:14,404
Take it easy.
689
00:37:14,508 --> 00:37:16,372
I need to move quickly.
690
00:37:16,475 --> 00:37:19,271
♪ ♪
691
00:37:19,375 --> 00:37:20,721
Grouse.
692
00:37:20,824 --> 00:37:23,620
I've seen the scat
a couple of different times,
693
00:37:23,724 --> 00:37:28,556
and they are near
my living area.
694
00:37:34,079 --> 00:37:37,841
Let's just sit and listen
for a while.
695
00:37:37,945 --> 00:37:39,981
Oh, wow.
696
00:37:40,085 --> 00:37:41,259
♪ ♪
697
00:37:41,362 --> 00:37:44,641
I'm just too skinny.
698
00:37:44,745 --> 00:37:47,299
I was afraid
that losing weight,
699
00:37:47,403 --> 00:37:50,751
it might, like, bring up stuff
from when I was young.
700
00:37:50,854 --> 00:37:52,580
I had an eating disorder
for years,
701
00:37:52,684 --> 00:37:55,376
and looking back,
702
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,792
it's so disturbing,
703
00:37:57,896 --> 00:38:01,037
you know,
that punishment of self.
704
00:38:01,140 --> 00:38:02,280
♪ ♪
705
00:38:02,383 --> 00:38:03,971
I was plagued
706
00:38:04,074 --> 00:38:07,664
with horrible thoughts
about myself.
707
00:38:07,768 --> 00:38:10,184
I don't think
anybody deserves that.
708
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:12,462
♪ ♪
709
00:38:12,566 --> 00:38:14,292
I'm just so glad
710
00:38:14,395 --> 00:38:17,502
to have made that shift
years ago
711
00:38:17,605 --> 00:38:20,712
into a different way of being
and thinking.
712
00:38:20,815 --> 00:38:22,230
♪ ♪
713
00:38:22,334 --> 00:38:24,578
I think it's become
a lot more important for me
714
00:38:24,681 --> 00:38:26,925
to be healthy and strong.
715
00:38:27,028 --> 00:38:28,513
♪ ♪
716
00:38:28,616 --> 00:38:30,411
I'm gonna head back.
717
00:38:30,515 --> 00:38:32,724
♪ ♪
718
00:38:32,827 --> 00:38:35,830
You know, this body is
all we have.
719
00:38:35,934 --> 00:38:37,867
So I think there's a level
for us all
720
00:38:37,970 --> 00:38:41,008
of, you know, willingness
to push ourselves,
721
00:38:41,111 --> 00:38:43,321
and, for me,
722
00:38:43,424 --> 00:38:45,461
I'm not going to push myself
723
00:38:45,564 --> 00:38:49,154
into any more of a danger zone
than I'm already in.
724
00:38:49,257 --> 00:38:51,743
♪ ♪
725
00:39:29,643 --> 00:39:35,303
♪
726
00:39:42,069 --> 00:39:43,104
[dramatic music]
727
00:39:43,208 --> 00:39:50,249
♪ ♪
728
00:40:32,568 --> 00:40:34,224
[exhales slowly]
729
00:40:57,178 --> 00:40:59,180
[exhales sharply]
Okay.
730
00:40:59,284 --> 00:41:02,356
♪ ♪
731
00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:05,359
I start having
these chest pains.
732
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:07,982
Oh, boy.
733
00:41:08,086 --> 00:41:11,607
No amount of glory is worth
harming yourself
734
00:41:11,710 --> 00:41:14,955
to the level
that starvation can do.
735
00:41:21,893 --> 00:41:23,101
[sighs]
736
00:41:27,899 --> 00:41:30,695
I think this is enough.
737
00:41:30,798 --> 00:41:33,801
[Yellowbrick buttons beeping]
738
00:41:36,355 --> 00:41:38,254
I am officially tapping out.
739
00:41:38,357 --> 00:41:44,536
♪ ♪
740
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:46,745
I made a moral decision
741
00:41:46,849 --> 00:41:48,782
for my health and my future
742
00:41:48,885 --> 00:41:51,854
that I have no trouble making.
743
00:41:51,957 --> 00:41:55,547
But there's intense grief
with the loss of--
744
00:41:55,651 --> 00:41:56,928
of what could have been.
745
00:41:57,031 --> 00:41:58,516
♪ ♪
746
00:41:58,619 --> 00:42:01,173
A picture of my guys.
747
00:42:01,277 --> 00:42:05,799
There was the hope we'd have
the money to have Mike, but...
748
00:42:05,902 --> 00:42:08,802
♪ ♪
749
00:42:08,905 --> 00:42:11,598
[sighs]
It's okay.
750
00:42:11,701 --> 00:42:13,151
I love you guys.
751
00:42:13,254 --> 00:42:16,775
♪ ♪
752
00:42:16,879 --> 00:42:18,950
I'm coming home to you, honey.
753
00:42:19,053 --> 00:42:22,678
♪ ♪
754
00:42:25,163 --> 00:42:32,204
♪
755
00:42:37,037 --> 00:42:39,246
- Hi, Michelle.
What's going on?
756
00:42:39,349 --> 00:42:41,593
- Well...
757
00:42:41,697 --> 00:42:44,009
I've been pretty beat up
by this place.
758
00:42:44,113 --> 00:42:46,667
[chuckles]
759
00:42:46,771 --> 00:42:49,981
I just can't procure
enough food.
760
00:42:50,084 --> 00:42:52,259
The hardest thing
about leaving this space,
761
00:42:52,362 --> 00:42:56,366
I think, is the "what
could have been," you know?
762
00:42:56,470 --> 00:42:58,645
If you had made
different choices,
763
00:42:58,748 --> 00:43:02,200
maybe things would have aligned
in a different way.
764
00:43:02,303 --> 00:43:05,306
But in terms of the experiences
I've had,
765
00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:08,137
I feel really good about them.
766
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:10,691
I feel like
I'm taking a lot of...
767
00:43:10,795 --> 00:43:12,590
magic and heart with me.
768
00:43:12,693 --> 00:43:16,248
♪ ♪
769
00:43:16,352 --> 00:43:18,250
I took myself to a point
770
00:43:18,354 --> 00:43:22,738
where any further,
and this could be really bad.
771
00:43:22,841 --> 00:43:25,844
I know what it's like
to lose your health.
772
00:43:25,948 --> 00:43:29,745
When I was young, it affected
every part of my life
773
00:43:29,848 --> 00:43:32,575
and the quality of my life.
774
00:43:32,679 --> 00:43:35,854
I felt like I was too far gone
775
00:43:35,958 --> 00:43:40,652
to pull myself back up
into functionality.
776
00:43:40,756 --> 00:43:42,758
Having a strong,
healthy body is
777
00:43:42,861 --> 00:43:46,347
one of the greatest gifts that
you can have in this life.
778
00:43:46,451 --> 00:43:53,492
♪ ♪
779
00:44:07,852 --> 00:44:10,061
- ♪ A-bow hunting,
we shall go ♪
780
00:44:10,164 --> 00:44:13,374
♪ A-bow hunting, we shall go ♪
781
00:44:13,478 --> 00:44:15,653
I think am on
to something there.
782
00:44:15,756 --> 00:44:18,000
I might develop that
a little more.
783
00:44:21,969 --> 00:44:24,178
All right.
784
00:44:24,282 --> 00:44:25,455
Wish me luck.
785
00:44:27,043 --> 00:44:29,011
♪
786
00:44:29,114 --> 00:44:31,392
It's so frustrating
787
00:44:31,496 --> 00:44:35,431
to not be able
to catch a fish,
788
00:44:35,534 --> 00:44:39,538
and so, I feel like
I need to focus on hunting.
789
00:44:39,642 --> 00:44:42,645
That's really the only option
I have right now.
790
00:44:42,749 --> 00:44:44,336
♪ ♪
791
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,961
This style of hunting
that I like is
792
00:44:48,064 --> 00:44:49,238
a method of still hunting,
793
00:44:49,341 --> 00:44:51,965
where you move
through the woods
794
00:44:52,068 --> 00:44:53,794
very, very slowly.
795
00:44:53,898 --> 00:44:55,554
♪ ♪
796
00:44:55,658 --> 00:44:58,178
A large portion of the time,
you're just stopped
797
00:44:58,281 --> 00:45:01,146
and you're looking and you're
listening for wildlife.
798
00:45:07,566 --> 00:45:11,260
The littlest noise can mean
799
00:45:11,363 --> 00:45:12,848
the presence of an animal.
800
00:45:12,951 --> 00:45:15,954
[birds chirping]
801
00:45:21,304 --> 00:45:24,169
The key is total awareness.
802
00:45:25,930 --> 00:45:29,381
You have to be very present
803
00:45:29,485 --> 00:45:31,452
and calm,
804
00:45:31,556 --> 00:45:33,972
because if you have
other things on your mind,
805
00:45:34,076 --> 00:45:35,111
you're not there.
806
00:45:35,215 --> 00:45:36,734
You're not present.
807
00:45:48,124 --> 00:45:51,438
♪
808
00:45:53,681 --> 00:45:55,269
♪
809
00:46:04,244 --> 00:46:06,867
♪
810
00:46:50,669 --> 00:46:51,843
[thrums]
811
00:46:54,915 --> 00:46:57,676
♪
812
00:46:57,780 --> 00:47:00,024
Well, that's awesome.
813
00:47:00,127 --> 00:47:02,750
Some fresh deer sign.
814
00:47:02,854 --> 00:47:04,580
That gives me a little bit
of confidence
815
00:47:04,683 --> 00:47:07,307
that we're gonna have
some deer here.
816
00:47:07,410 --> 00:47:09,205
I've been struggling
a little bit.
817
00:47:09,309 --> 00:47:11,069
That gives me something
to look forward to,
818
00:47:11,173 --> 00:47:14,383
which is exactly
what I needed.
819
00:47:14,486 --> 00:47:16,834
Maybe, you know,
I got a chance
820
00:47:16,937 --> 00:47:19,595
to put a deer down.
821
00:47:19,698 --> 00:47:21,459
That's good. That's...
822
00:47:21,562 --> 00:47:22,978
That's really good.
823
00:47:23,081 --> 00:47:24,738
♪ ♪
824
00:47:28,949 --> 00:47:31,262
[dramatic music]
825
00:47:31,365 --> 00:47:38,372
♪ ♪
826
00:47:52,455 --> 00:47:53,560
- Whoo.
827
00:47:56,356 --> 00:47:59,531
I'm feeling
kind of ragged today.
828
00:47:59,635 --> 00:48:01,395
A little worn.
829
00:48:01,499 --> 00:48:05,434
Overall, kind of
rundown physically.
830
00:48:05,537 --> 00:48:07,746
I need to step up
my food-gathering game,
831
00:48:07,850 --> 00:48:10,163
so maybe instead of an hour
of grasses,
832
00:48:10,266 --> 00:48:12,303
I'll go fishing.
833
00:48:12,406 --> 00:48:14,443
I gotta get catching.
I gotta...
834
00:48:14,546 --> 00:48:16,755
I gotta turn my luck around.
835
00:48:16,859 --> 00:48:18,896
I need the food.
I just need the food.
836
00:48:18,999 --> 00:48:20,690
That's all there is to it.
837
00:48:20,794 --> 00:48:27,835
♪ ♪
838
00:48:29,147 --> 00:48:30,873
So much crap to carry, Chad.
839
00:48:30,977 --> 00:48:35,084
So much crap to carry,
including you.
840
00:48:35,188 --> 00:48:36,948
My trusty sidekick.
841
00:48:37,052 --> 00:48:38,260
♪ ♪
842
00:48:38,363 --> 00:48:40,641
My famous maker.
843
00:48:40,745 --> 00:48:43,161
At this rate, you'll be
my infamous maker.
844
00:48:43,265 --> 00:48:45,336
♪ ♪
845
00:48:45,439 --> 00:48:47,027
I'm not living up to
846
00:48:47,131 --> 00:48:50,065
what I want to live up to
as a survivalist.
847
00:48:50,168 --> 00:48:52,653
It's important to me, Chad.
848
00:48:52,757 --> 00:48:54,345
It's super important to me.
849
00:48:54,448 --> 00:48:56,657
You just don't understand,
do you?
850
00:48:56,761 --> 00:48:57,831
How could you?
851
00:48:57,935 --> 00:48:59,971
You're just
an inanimate damn object.
852
00:49:00,075 --> 00:49:01,248
♪ ♪
853
00:49:01,352 --> 00:49:02,905
I'm trying.
854
00:49:03,009 --> 00:49:06,115
I'm doing everything
that I've been trained to do,
855
00:49:06,219 --> 00:49:10,568
but my awareness is not
where it needs to be
856
00:49:10,671 --> 00:49:13,088
personally, for me,
to be successful.
857
00:49:13,191 --> 00:49:15,090
♪ ♪
858
00:49:15,193 --> 00:49:16,954
Just started realizing that
859
00:49:17,057 --> 00:49:20,785
over the last 13 years now,
860
00:49:20,888 --> 00:49:22,131
I've had my wife
861
00:49:22,235 --> 00:49:25,893
to help keep me focused
on the right things.
862
00:49:28,724 --> 00:49:32,210
So I'm gonna sing my song,
my wife's song.
863
00:49:32,314 --> 00:49:33,660
Why not?
864
00:49:40,322 --> 00:49:44,257
♪ Ring ring goes
the dinner bell ♪
865
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:48,123
♪ All of mama's children come
a-running up ♪
866
00:49:48,226 --> 00:49:50,815
♪ From the gut ♪
867
00:49:50,918 --> 00:49:51,954
♪ To what she's put ♪
868
00:49:52,058 --> 00:49:56,855
♪ On the table ♪
869
00:49:56,959 --> 00:50:00,342
Come on.
Catch a big boy.
870
00:50:00,445 --> 00:50:02,137
♪ Coal's still hot ♪
871
00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:04,725
♪ And the sweet smell
of wood smoke ♪
872
00:50:04,829 --> 00:50:06,589
♪ The three stones she uses ♪
873
00:50:06,693 --> 00:50:11,491
♪ And the wood spoon
made from oak ♪
874
00:50:11,594 --> 00:50:14,459
♪ Daddy gets the firewood ♪
875
00:50:14,563 --> 00:50:20,396
♪ ♪
876
00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:23,848
♪ He washes off
in a cool gut stream ♪
877
00:50:23,951 --> 00:50:27,196
♪ After climbing
a coconut tree ♪
878
00:50:27,300 --> 00:50:30,889
♪ For his family ♪
879
00:50:30,993 --> 00:50:33,133
♪ Oh, what a sight to see ♪
880
00:50:33,237 --> 00:50:36,136
♪ As he returns triumphantly ♪
881
00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:39,036
♪ ♪
882
00:50:42,108 --> 00:50:45,007
[chuckles]
883
00:50:51,289 --> 00:50:55,259
[sighs]
Okay, that's it. Done.
884
00:50:55,362 --> 00:50:56,743
♪ ♪
885
00:50:56,846 --> 00:50:58,952
I've been gone for weeks now.
886
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:01,817
And what the hell,
I got a beautiful,
887
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,233
amazing family.
888
00:51:04,337 --> 00:51:05,510
♪ ♪
889
00:51:05,614 --> 00:51:07,788
That's more important in life
890
00:51:07,892 --> 00:51:10,274
than winning a competition.
891
00:51:10,377 --> 00:51:13,242
And they are not
gonna judge me.
892
00:51:13,346 --> 00:51:15,244
So, go ahead.
893
00:51:15,348 --> 00:51:16,763
Judge me all you want.
894
00:51:16,866 --> 00:51:19,628
I'm ready for it.
895
00:51:19,731 --> 00:51:22,009
[Yellowbrick buttons beeping]
896
00:51:22,113 --> 00:51:23,563
Good morning.
This is Matt.
897
00:51:25,496 --> 00:51:28,464
I am officially tapping out.
898
00:51:28,568 --> 00:51:32,641
♪ ♪
899
00:51:32,744 --> 00:51:35,230
Oh, Chad.
900
00:51:35,333 --> 00:51:37,680
It was hard.
It was hard.
901
00:51:37,784 --> 00:51:39,510
But you know what?
902
00:51:39,613 --> 00:51:42,099
Family, friends,
903
00:51:42,202 --> 00:51:46,448
the people around us is
more important than my ego.
904
00:51:46,551 --> 00:51:48,553
And I think this
905
00:51:48,657 --> 00:51:51,349
has made me a better person.
906
00:51:51,453 --> 00:51:54,525
As hard as it is
professionally to quit...
907
00:51:54,628 --> 00:51:57,493
Here they come, Chadical.
908
00:51:57,597 --> 00:51:59,426
It doesn't make me a failure.
909
00:51:59,530 --> 00:52:01,187
It's just a failure.
910
00:52:01,290 --> 00:52:03,223
And that's a huge difference
right there.
911
00:52:03,327 --> 00:52:06,019
I've never allowed that
for myself.
912
00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:10,299
This is the end of our time
together, Chadster.
913
00:52:10,403 --> 00:52:12,612
I will miss you.
914
00:52:12,715 --> 00:52:14,545
I will totally miss you.
915
00:52:16,961 --> 00:52:18,687
I'm ready to go.
916
00:52:18,790 --> 00:52:21,862
Yeah, I mean, I had
an amazing experience.
917
00:52:21,966 --> 00:52:25,176
And I realized that
I wasn't happy being alone
918
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:26,591
and I didn't wanna fight it.
919
00:52:26,695 --> 00:52:29,491
I totally miss my family.
920
00:52:29,594 --> 00:52:31,389
I totally miss my friends.
921
00:52:31,493 --> 00:52:34,012
I totally miss my life.
I miss all of that.
922
00:52:34,116 --> 00:52:35,945
And if people I want
to call it a failure,
923
00:52:36,049 --> 00:52:38,085
then I accept that failure.
924
00:52:38,189 --> 00:52:40,364
I don't wanna be driven
by the fear of judgment.
925
00:52:40,467 --> 00:52:42,262
I wanna be driven
by what's in my heart.
926
00:52:42,366 --> 00:52:47,578
♪ ♪
927
00:52:47,681 --> 00:52:49,752
My ideals
928
00:52:49,856 --> 00:52:52,238
have not matched my heart
929
00:52:52,341 --> 00:52:54,895
for years now.
930
00:52:54,999 --> 00:52:57,104
My ideals say
931
00:52:57,208 --> 00:53:00,315
that the solo survivalist is
932
00:53:00,418 --> 00:53:03,318
the ultimate
of the survivalists.
933
00:53:03,421 --> 00:53:05,043
♪ ♪
934
00:53:05,147 --> 00:53:08,185
But now, I'm realizing
935
00:53:08,288 --> 00:53:09,945
that that's *bleep*.
936
00:53:10,048 --> 00:53:11,360
♪ ♪
937
00:53:11,464 --> 00:53:15,778
This ultimate survivalist
dies alone.
938
00:53:15,882 --> 00:53:17,746
When he passes on,
939
00:53:17,849 --> 00:53:20,369
his kids are alone.
940
00:53:20,473 --> 00:53:22,751
♪ ♪
941
00:53:22,854 --> 00:53:25,547
And even deeper than that,
942
00:53:25,650 --> 00:53:28,688
I realized that family
943
00:53:28,791 --> 00:53:31,622
is more important
944
00:53:31,725 --> 00:53:33,589
than anything else.
945
00:53:33,693 --> 00:53:40,734
♪ ♪
946
00:53:59,443 --> 00:54:02,239
- Well, let's see
if we can catch something.
947
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,003
Jacket make too much noise
in the bushes.
948
00:54:12,766 --> 00:54:14,906
In case I happen to see one
of the three deer
949
00:54:15,010 --> 00:54:16,736
that's around here.
950
00:54:18,703 --> 00:54:20,084
Maybe two deer.
951
00:54:22,293 --> 00:54:23,984
They ain't many.
952
00:54:24,088 --> 00:54:26,470
That's for sure.
953
00:54:26,573 --> 00:54:31,198
♪ ♪
954
00:54:31,302 --> 00:54:33,442
I found one little ridge
955
00:54:33,546 --> 00:54:36,100
where I can access that patch
956
00:54:36,203 --> 00:54:39,655
where I was finding that fresh
deer sign yesterday evening.
957
00:54:39,759 --> 00:54:43,003
♪ ♪
958
00:54:43,107 --> 00:54:44,729
I tell you, things that
959
00:54:44,833 --> 00:54:47,180
normally I wouldn't even
960
00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:49,389
take a second glance
961
00:54:49,493 --> 00:54:51,149
kind of wear you out
962
00:54:51,253 --> 00:54:53,773
when you're not eating
every day.
963
00:54:53,876 --> 00:55:00,987
♪ ♪
964
00:55:05,405 --> 00:55:08,857
I'm seeing more fresh sign
in here.
965
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:15,967
♪ ♪
966
00:55:24,044 --> 00:55:31,017
♪
967
00:55:31,845 --> 00:55:34,883
[growling]
968
00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:43,340
♪
969
00:56:46,610 --> 00:56:48,888
[dramatic music]
970
00:56:48,991 --> 00:56:56,033
♪ ♪
971
00:56:58,345 --> 00:57:00,002
- Michelle, thanks
for being here with me.
972
00:57:00,106 --> 00:57:01,314
- Thanks for having me.
973
00:57:01,418 --> 00:57:02,902
- Everybody who's been
on "Alone"
974
00:57:03,005 --> 00:57:04,697
knows what it's like
to lose a lot of weight.
975
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,182
When did you realize
you were nearing the end?
976
00:57:07,285 --> 00:57:08,459
- You know,
you look at your hands,
977
00:57:08,563 --> 00:57:09,805
and you don't recognize them.
978
00:57:09,909 --> 00:57:12,187
And your body becomes
a fearful thing.
979
00:57:12,290 --> 00:57:14,154
You notice
you're losing weight,
980
00:57:14,258 --> 00:57:15,708
but you're wearing
so many clothes
981
00:57:15,811 --> 00:57:18,676
that you can kind of mask that
for a while.
982
00:57:18,780 --> 00:57:21,334
And then, you see yourself
without clothes on,
983
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,887
and it's like--
[gasps]
984
00:57:22,991 --> 00:57:24,544
I kind of washed myself,
985
00:57:24,648 --> 00:57:28,548
and that's when I looked
at my body and went...
986
00:57:28,652 --> 00:57:30,516
Yikes.
987
00:57:30,619 --> 00:57:33,588
My mouth filled with
this sweet saliva taste
988
00:57:33,691 --> 00:57:35,072
four days prior to me tapping,
989
00:57:35,175 --> 00:57:37,246
and that's basically ketosis--
990
00:57:37,350 --> 00:57:40,871
when your body's eating
whatever reserves it has--
991
00:57:40,974 --> 00:57:43,874
so I knew--I knew things
were going downhill.
992
00:57:43,977 --> 00:57:46,083
My inability to procure fish
993
00:57:46,186 --> 00:57:49,293
was what led to me
having to tap.
994
00:57:49,396 --> 00:57:51,088
- Let's talk about
your food gathering.
995
00:57:51,191 --> 00:57:53,159
In a survival situation,
you have to be willing
996
00:57:53,262 --> 00:57:56,645
to eat anything that other
people will not consider doing.
997
00:57:56,749 --> 00:57:59,752
You were eating
ants, crickets, snails.
998
00:57:59,855 --> 00:58:01,443
- I ate whatever I could.
999
00:58:01,547 --> 00:58:04,377
But I found a little bit
of a fish carcass
1000
00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:06,344
along this trail.
1001
00:58:06,448 --> 00:58:09,589
I gathered whatever I could
find that I knew is edible,
1002
00:58:09,693 --> 00:58:11,971
and even maybe
some things that
1003
00:58:12,074 --> 00:58:14,042
are on the questionable side.
1004
00:58:16,596 --> 00:58:19,772
I wanted to get as much
varied nutrition as I could,
1005
00:58:19,875 --> 00:58:22,291
so I was definitely
pushing that envelope
1006
00:58:22,395 --> 00:58:23,776
of just trying anything
I could eat.
1007
00:58:23,879 --> 00:58:25,260
Mmm.
1008
00:58:25,363 --> 00:58:27,918
- You used the cow parsnip
stalk to blow on your fire.
1009
00:58:28,021 --> 00:58:30,507
But cow parsnip can give people
an allergic reaction.
1010
00:58:30,610 --> 00:58:31,784
What happened?
1011
00:58:31,887 --> 00:58:33,993
- I'm still not certain
exactly what it was
1012
00:58:34,096 --> 00:58:35,442
that was causing my illness,
1013
00:58:35,546 --> 00:58:37,824
but I did feel that
there was a connection
1014
00:58:37,928 --> 00:58:41,069
between the stalk
and the bouts of nausea
1015
00:58:41,172 --> 00:58:42,380
and pain I was having.
1016
00:58:43,968 --> 00:58:46,419
And so, when I was
putting that together,
1017
00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,973
I thought, "Ooh, this--
maybe this isn't cow parsnip.
1018
00:58:49,077 --> 00:58:51,389
Maybe I hadn't
identified it correctly."
1019
00:58:51,493 --> 00:58:52,908
Wow.
1020
00:58:53,012 --> 00:58:55,670
Water hemlock and cow parsnip
looked very similar
1021
00:58:55,773 --> 00:58:57,326
in their dead phases.
1022
00:58:57,430 --> 00:58:58,880
So then, I got
very concerned that
1023
00:58:58,983 --> 00:59:01,572
maybe I had poisoned
myself with water hemlock.
1024
00:59:01,676 --> 00:59:05,990
I'm worried that the tube
1025
00:59:06,094 --> 00:59:10,616
is, um, not cow parsnip.
1026
00:59:10,719 --> 00:59:13,204
- What was that like
being so sick and alone?
1027
00:59:13,308 --> 00:59:15,241
- I've spent a lot of time
in the wilderness by myself,
1028
00:59:15,344 --> 00:59:18,106
and honestly, that was
one of the scariest times
1029
00:59:18,209 --> 00:59:21,109
because I wasn't certain
what was going on.
1030
00:59:21,212 --> 00:59:25,251
I had another just
intense wave of...
1031
00:59:25,354 --> 00:59:28,012
nausea.
1032
00:59:28,116 --> 00:59:30,256
I really had some panic
1033
00:59:30,359 --> 00:59:31,671
because I thought,
"Oh, my gosh,
1034
00:59:31,775 --> 00:59:34,018
"I'm so far
from nearest hospital.
1035
00:59:34,122 --> 00:59:36,573
I could be
in deep trouble here."
1036
00:59:36,676 --> 00:59:38,333
I'm just gonna sit
for a second.
1037
00:59:38,436 --> 00:59:40,646
[exhales]
1038
00:59:40,749 --> 00:59:41,992
And there were moments where
1039
00:59:42,095 --> 00:59:44,581
I was just holding
the Yellowbrick,
1040
00:59:44,684 --> 00:59:46,203
ready to push that button
1041
00:59:46,306 --> 00:59:47,998
in the event
of things getting worse.
1042
00:59:48,101 --> 00:59:49,862
And I came through
the other side, luckily.
1043
00:59:49,965 --> 00:59:51,726
- Yeah, you did.
- [chuckles]
1044
00:59:51,829 --> 00:59:53,693
- Your bear experience
was epic.
1045
00:59:53,797 --> 00:59:57,110
There you were on the beach
calmly eating rose hips,
1046
00:59:57,214 --> 01:00:00,769
and this big, beautiful bear
comes swimming at you.
1047
01:00:00,873 --> 01:00:03,945
- No freakin' way.
1048
01:00:04,048 --> 01:00:05,912
It was again one
of those kind of surreal,
1049
01:00:06,016 --> 01:00:07,638
like, shocking moments.
1050
01:00:07,742 --> 01:00:10,192
And, you know, minding my
own business, eating rose hips,
1051
01:00:10,296 --> 01:00:11,884
and all of a sudden,
I'm like, "Oh, my gosh.
1052
01:00:11,987 --> 01:00:13,092
There's a bear right there."
1053
01:00:13,195 --> 01:00:17,096
It's gonna dock up
into brush in here.
1054
01:00:17,199 --> 01:00:20,582
And then, I'm like, "Okay,
how do I feet out of here?"
1055
01:00:20,686 --> 01:00:23,758
You know, get, you know,
with all my gear and my stuff.
1056
01:00:23,861 --> 01:00:25,483
And so, I was able to do that
1057
01:00:25,587 --> 01:00:27,382
to kind of just
let him continue,
1058
01:00:27,485 --> 01:00:29,177
and then he caught a fish
right then.
1059
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,318
He's got a freaking
giant fish in his mouth.
1060
01:00:32,421 --> 01:00:34,216
- You must have just wanted
to rush out there
1061
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:36,771
and grab that thing
right out of his mouth.
1062
01:00:36,874 --> 01:00:38,289
- I went and got my pot
1063
01:00:38,393 --> 01:00:41,016
and followed him,
hoping for scraps.
1064
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,363
- You were like a raven
walking behind him.
1065
01:00:43,467 --> 01:00:44,502
[both laugh]
1066
01:00:44,606 --> 01:00:46,090
- Absolutely.
1067
01:00:46,194 --> 01:00:47,885
But he left me nothing.
- Aw.
1068
01:00:47,989 --> 01:00:50,163
I can't imagine how you felt
in that moment.
1069
01:00:50,267 --> 01:00:51,578
- Super disappointed.
1070
01:00:51,682 --> 01:00:53,304
I was like--really thought
1071
01:00:53,408 --> 01:00:55,721
I was gonna get some
nice chunks of fish,
1072
01:00:55,824 --> 01:00:59,069
so...yeah.
1073
01:00:59,172 --> 01:01:02,797
- What will you remember most
about this beautiful place?
1074
01:01:02,900 --> 01:01:05,972
- Aw, the beauty,
the promise of each day.
1075
01:01:06,076 --> 01:01:08,457
It's just
an extra ordinary gift,
1076
01:01:08,561 --> 01:01:10,563
and every single day
I was out there,
1077
01:01:10,667 --> 01:01:13,083
I felt like the luckiest person
in the world.
1078
01:01:13,186 --> 01:01:15,292
I believe we carry the stories
1079
01:01:15,395 --> 01:01:17,052
that we've lived with us,
1080
01:01:17,156 --> 01:01:18,640
but we also carry the places.
1081
01:01:18,744 --> 01:01:20,400
They have this impact on us,
1082
01:01:20,504 --> 01:01:22,437
and, you know,
that changes you,
1083
01:01:22,540 --> 01:01:24,681
and it's with you forever.
1084
01:01:24,784 --> 01:01:27,131
- Michelle, thanks so much
for sharing your story.
1085
01:01:27,235 --> 01:01:28,857
It was a pleasure to meet you.
1086
01:01:28,961 --> 01:01:30,445
- So nice to meet you too,
Nikki.
1087
01:01:30,548 --> 01:01:32,550
♪ ♪
1088
01:01:32,654 --> 01:01:34,518
- Now, I have the shakes.
1089
01:01:34,621 --> 01:01:36,727
I'm feeling nauseous.
[groans]
1090
01:01:36,831 --> 01:01:39,247
[retches]
1091
01:01:39,350 --> 01:01:40,938
- It's pulling all the air in
from over there,
1092
01:01:41,042 --> 01:01:43,423
just bringing the smoke inside.
1093
01:01:43,527 --> 01:01:46,530
I'm gonna end up
asphyxiating myself tonight.
1094
01:01:46,633 --> 01:01:48,912
- Something has been here.
1095
01:01:49,015 --> 01:01:50,396
It tore up my fire pit.
1096
01:01:50,499 --> 01:01:52,122
[bear growling]
Hey, bear.
1097
01:01:52,225 --> 01:01:54,676
- Let's read
my personal rules list.
1098
01:01:54,780 --> 01:01:56,713
Don't push the tap button.
1099
01:01:58,542 --> 01:02:00,889
♪
72711
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