Original subtitles

Subtitles: Luís Filipe Bernardes

- Would you care to dance? - I'm sorry, I promised this one.

Perhaps your partner has been called away.

No, I see he's coming now.

That was too much to hope.

Forgive me, Your Excellency, but madam has promised me this dance.

Well, I must return to my official duties. Your servant, mademoiselle.

Au revoir, Excellence..

- Well, did you get it? - Yes.

- What took you so long? - Long? Did the Ambassador bore you?

- Is everything all right? - Quite all right for me.

I could quite easily have taken it away myself.

No, we might have had trouble. It's better to use Karl.

We might still have some trouble.

I think we'd better go.

Don't you want to say goodbye to your admirer the Ambassador?

The traitor! He sold our country with the information in that book.

It's his country too.

His politics perhaps are not the same as yours.

Perhaps.

It doesn't necessarily mean his sense of duty differs from yours.

If you think that, why do you help me?

Oh, not because of politics.

I love adventure.

- Is that all? - No, no, not entirely all.

- What time does the plane leave tomorrow morning?

- Eight o'clock. - We'll collect the diary from Karl at seven.

I'll pick you up at six-thirty.

- We are a little early. - It doesn't matter. Karl is expecting us.

Oh!

Your master is expecting us.

Yes... at seven, monsieur. Excuse me, monsieur.

Tell your master that we're here before you go.

No, after you. Karl!

- Karl! - I'm afraid that monsieur is out.

But he will be back. If monsieur and madame will wait...

We can't wait, we're in a hurry. Where did he go to?

- I do not know, monsieur. - When did he go?

- Monsieur, I do not know. - Karl has double crossed us.

So it would appear. He paid this fellow not to talk.

- Well, I'll make you talk! - No, there isn't time.

I'll give you a choice. A bullet or 200,000 Fr.

And 15 seconds to make up your mind.

Well, pal, I sure wish it was me.

Trieste or Gay Paree.

- I'll take Trieste. - Oh, yeah?

Yeah, sure. There's more variety.

Serbs and Croats, Bulgarians, Austrians, Italians...

- ... and Turks, and Greeks... - Hey, are you talking about girls?

Why, sure!

Well, looks like I'm gonna do a little globetrotting, huh?

Oh, pardonnez-moi, mon ami.

- Pas de tout. - What?

- I said 'pas de tout'. - Yes...

Darling, I thought you weren't ever coming.

Sorry, I overslept.

- Were you waiting long? - About half an hour.

- I almost didn't come. - Why not?

I don't know.

Oh, George, even now there's time to change our minds.

Oh no, there isn't.

Allons, monsieurs, au travail.

- So long, pal. - Got everything?

That's what they say.

- Bon jour, monsieur. - Merci.

Bon jour, monsieur.

My name is Jolif.

Oh, bon jour.

- Did you want something? - Don't we all want something?

A man is always striving for the unattainable, isn't he?

I think there must be some mistake. This isn't your compartment, is it?

Yes and no, that is to say that uh...

this part of it is surely mine

and that is yours.

- They told me I should have it to myself. - Oh, I'm so sorry, monsieur...

- Monsieur? - My name is... Poole. Charles Poole.

Well, you see, Mr. Poole, nowadays

the promises of the Railway Company officials

are no more to be relied on than the promises of women,

like butterflies, so beautiful and yet so elusive.

Just born to die.

Nevertheless, I will endeavor to efface myself as much as possible.

No, not at all, I didn't mean...

I'm very happy to meet you.

Monsieur, I share your happiness.

- Monsieur? - Café au lait, s'il vous plaît.

Oui, monsieur.

Good morning. That's no sort of drink for a train journey, is it?

Won't you join me in a scotch?

No, thank you. It's rather early in the day for me.

It's never too early for scotch. Never too late either.

Are you sure you won't change your mind?

No, thank you.

Merci.

- Do you want some coffee, madame? - Please, over there.

- Well? - I haven't found him yet.

Most of the passengers have locked their doors.

Maybe he's not in the train at all.

Of course he is. Pierre was obviously telling the truth.

But you...

you were not telling the truth last night.

You should have told me you'd killed a man.

Valya, one has killed so many men since 1939.

The actual operation has lost much of its novelty to me.

No doubt the French police still find it interesting.

The French police don't operate beyond the frontiers of France.

In Switzerland there are Swiss police, in Italy Italian.

- Don't make a habit of it, Zurta. - What about Karl?

Karl must be found before we reach Zagreb.

We shan't reach Zagreb. We shan't reach Trieste either.

Oh, why not?

Beyond Trieste I'm a wanted man.

If I want to stay alive I have to leave the train before we reach Trieste.

In that case, you find Karl first.

- Mr. Poirier? - Monsieur?

I say, don't be glum. I've got a letter for you. My name's Denning.

On peut pas travailler comme ça.

Oh, this s a letter from the Président de la Compagnie, monsieur...

- Yes, he's a friend of my father's. - Oh...

Mr. le Président asks me to do all in my power to assist you.

But in what way, monsieur?

As a matter of fact, old man,

my father is a director of one of the railway lines in England.

Now that I've demobbed I've decided to take up the eating racket.

- Racket? - Yes...

the old man thought it would be a good idea if I saw something foreign, you know,

saw how you ran your kitchens and all that.

So I went to your president and he said...

there's nothing better for me to do than make a trip with you.

Mr. le Président is right, monsieur.

With Poirier you shall see the cuisine at its most remarkable.

Seven years now I am senior chef of the company.

They will tell you everywhere there is only one Poirier.

Good Joe, good Joe.

Oh, I suppose you're hunting up the old jack rabbit for luncheon, eh?

No, the déjeuner prepares itself. Here we are doing the 'plat du jour'.

- That's cod, isn't it? - Yes, I shall explain you how we make it.

- Thank you. - You butter your dish,

put the fish, season it with salt and pepper.

put a little minced shallot,

chopped champignons, you know, mushrooms...

minced parsley,

cover with white wine,

and put it into the oven, and it's cooked.

I say, that's very neat, isn't it?

But do you really think cod's worth all that trouble?

- Trouble? - Yes, you see, at home...

we just lower the jolly old creature into the boiling water

let it boil and serve it up with greens and chips.

But you get no sauce.

Oh, Lord yes, there's always a bottle of sauce around somewhere.

What's this? Pudding?

- On y va. - C'est ça.

Vas y. Moi je vais par là.

Maybe a week, maybe a year.

I never know where Uncle Sam's gonna need me next.

That sounds most terribly disturbing.

Myself I know exactly how long I'll be there. Three weeks, then back to Liverpool.

You're going up there to sell them something, I suppose.

- Well, in a sort of way. - What? ladies' lingerie?

Oh, my dear fellow, no!

You see, I'm lecturing in sort of welfare work.

- Oh! What on? - Old British birds.

Birds, eh? You suppose you got a lot of birds in Liverpool, eh?

No, only sparrows, I'm afraid.

What makes you think they're so hot on sparrows in Trieste?

Oh, no, no. I'm afraid you misunderstand what I say.

You see, I lecture on all kinds of birds from books.

- Like that one, I suppose. - Yes, rather.

- Would you like to have a look? - Yeah, sure.

- What is that? - A snipe.

Yeah, kinda looks it, too. Uh...

...do you have a lecture staring one of these things?

Oh, yes. It's just about my favorite bird.

I suppose the snipe has something the sparrow hasn't.

It gas. It drums.

- It what? - It drums.

It makes a noise exactly like a drum at nesting time.

Oh, does it?

Well, never having heard a drum at nesting time, there you have me.

You don't get many birds in France.

- Who don't? - They're not protected here.

Oh, that's too bad.

Do you think we shall get a chance to see some of the magnificent scenery en route?

- Do we? - Scenery?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, sure! - I'm so glad.

You know, when I looked up the route on the map I said to myself...

I do hope I get a chance to see some of the real beauties of Switzerland.

Oh, not a chance of that, pops. We don't stop over long enough.

Come in.

Well, well,, well, come on in.

Brother, whether we stop over in Switzerland or not,

it looks as if your prayers are answered.

Uh, meet Mr. Elvin, he's fresh out of Liverpool, hot stuff on birds.

- Monsieur go to Trieste? - Yeah, honey, that's the schedule... so far

Oh, I am so glad.

My sister and myself, we are so much alone on this train.

Oh, that's too bad.

So we look for a gentleman to be kind to us.

Well, honey, you've looked, et voilà!

- You will help us? - Just say the word.

And monsieur here?

Well, maybe I'll have to handle both of you myself.

Oh, you are very sweet.

- Oh, it's nothing really, I... - It's just the douane.

- Hm? - The customs.

- You understand? - Oh, yes! Oui, oui, oui.

So, you keep this hat for me?

Because if I declare them myself, it is too much to pay.

- But if monsieur... - Oh, sure. Don't worry.

Oh, merci, mille fois.

Uh... for my little sister, monsieur here will do the same?

It is my little sister's suggestion. She is always so suggestive.

- Is she? - Hm-hmm.

Merci mille fois.

Monsieur go to Trieste?

Well, Mr. Elvin, what do you know about that?

I can't help thinking of the most striking parallel amongst our British birds.

The cuckoo always leaves its egg in someone else's nest.

You mean there are kinds of birds that will fall for that?

Time and again. I kind of pipit usually.

Well, Mr. Elvin, from hereon in just uh... call me pipit.

- You're for Trieste? - Zagreb.

Oh, Zagreb. That's an odyssey to travel to Zagreb.

You must have very important business to undertake such a long journey.

Entrez!

Ah, monsieur, le docteur Lecourt et le professeur Chemie...

send their compliments.

Le docteur Lecourt and professeur Chemie on board?

- Oui, monsieur, in coach 5. - Merci.

Two very good friends of mine are on the train. You will excuse me, you do understand.

- Of course. - Au revoir.

Why the devil has this man been put in here?

I was promised this compartment to myself.

I am sorry, monsieur, but it is not always possible.

Last minute arrivals, you understand.

And, of course, with such a person as M. Jolif.

And what's so special about M. Jolif?

Monsieur does not know who he is?

No. Who is he?

Oh, c'est formidable. Jolif, monsieur, is of the Police.

Detective Inspector.

A hero of the Resistance and since, bien, bien, bien connu.

- Oh là là là là là là. - Police?

Oui, monsieur. So, you see, it is essential that he should be found a berth.

Yes, of course... but I do want a compartment to myself.

It will not be easy, monsieur.

Perhaps if monsieur really insists.

Thank you, monsieur.

I will see what I can do.

Tu as distribué tous les pièces? - Oui, tous, et toi?

Tous!

And now, nothing to declare.

- To future happiness. - To future happiness.

- George, do you...? - Do I what?

- Oh, I don't know. - Of course I do, darling.

Oh, yes, I know, I didn't mean that though.

What precisely do you mean?

George, do you think I'm cheap?

- Don't be silly. - It isn't silly.

If anyone found out, what would they think?

Nobody will find out. And even if they did.

It doesn't bother me what other people think.

That means you think they would think I was cheap.

Now look, Joan. Life can be sordid or it can be beautiful.

It all depends upon the point of view of the person who's living it.

We know how we feel about it and that's all that matters.

Oh, George, yes! You do know that I love you, don't you?

You do know that I'm not just looking for excitement or...

Of course I do, darling.

And you do believe that I'd never have dreamed of coming away if it was only...

Of course I do.

You feel the same, George, don't you?

You're not just regarding this as a...

as a casual affair to...

enliven a business trip?

- Oh, George, if I thought that... - Joan!

- Any luck? - Monsieur, it has all been arranged.

Good. Let's go. No, don't take that.

Monsieur, c'est par là, à droite.

Merci.

Pardon.

Voilà, monsieur, it is all yours.

- Monsieur is satisfied? - Perfectly, thank you.

Thank you, monsieur.

- Just déjeuner, monsieur? - Lunch? That's a good idea.

- First service, monsieur? - Give me time to wash my face and hands?

Runs for half an hour, monsieur. That should suffice.

Bon, and just as there are no passengers...

you might have another scotch waiting for me, will you?

Er... un autre tasse d'écossais.

Oui, monsieur.

Will monsieur et madame take the first déjeuner?

- Oh, I should think so. - Oh, wait a minute.

- What time are we due at Dijon? - In half an hour, madame.

Then we'll take the second déjeuner.

- I'm hungry, you know. - Karl may try and leave the train.

- We must watch for him. - And if he does?

- We'll follow him. - I don't know why. We'll find him anywhere.

You may, anywhere short of Trieste.

Monsieur, there is a great mistake.

What's the matter?

This lunatic, monsieur, he thinks he is the chef du train.

It is not so. There is but one chef, c'est moi.

It is I who distributes the passengers. He doesn't understand, this man.

- His parents brought up an imbecile! - Je ne peux pas permettre ce language...

- What's happened? - Monsieur, this compartment it is reserved.

Reserved? But it can't be reserved. There's no one else here.

It is reserved from Dijon. There an English gentleman wll join the train.

But that's ridiculous. I can't keep on changing.

I regret it, but it has been reserved.

You see, monsieur, we will be reported on.

Listen, you say this other chap is coming on at Dijon.

Well, keep him in the berth that I had at first.

Tell him there's been a double booking.

- I'll make it worth your while. - Impossible, monsieur.

The gentleman who joins the train at Dijon is M. MacBain.

A most important man. A writer, too. Such people prefer to be alone.

A celebrated man, therefore, very rich.

Les baggages de monsieur. Et votre tunique!

Monsieur, s'il vous plaît!

I can't go back there!

- I can't! - I much regret, monsieur.

That fellow, Jolif or whatever his name is...

- ...he's always playing jazz. - Jazz? Oh, monsieur, I can sympathize.

It is my wife, who listens to Bing Crosby all night long.

Perhaps at Lausanne or Montreux possibly a reservation will become vacant.

- Who can say? - But I want to stay there.

That, monsieur, is impossible.

Unless, of course, you want to have it from Trieste.

- What's that? - M. MacBain leaves at Trieste.

And then after that...

You mean I can have it from Trieste to Zagreb.

Certainly, monsieur.

Oh, good. Well, that's fine.

But still, I shall want another berth until then.

- Please try to find one. - Be reassured that I will do my best.

If monsieur will have lunch, perhaps at Dijon, who can say?

All right, I'll go along. And do what you can, will you?

Merci beaucoup, monsieur.

Entrez là! Je veux vous parler. Dépéchez-vous! Alons, alons!

- Is this seat free? - Uh... yes... rather, yes.

Thank you. Excuse me.

- You hungry, sweetheart? - Hm, starving.

Good.

Uh, bring me my scotch over.

- George Grant! How wonderful! - How are you, Tom?

Very well, boy, can't complain.

What an extraordinary coincidence seeing you. I'll join you if I may.

It's Tom Bishop.

Well, well, well. Good to see a friendly face.

- You on holiday? - No, business.

I say, you legal johns certainly get around, don't you?

What are you doing? Soliciting in Venice? - No, in Trieste.

I know. Hunting up some sort of juicy evidence

for one of your rich clients, aren't you?

You're a dirty rascal. I say, George...

could I move in with you?

You're probably in with one of these ghastly foreign fellows, aren't you?

What's he like?

My name is Poole.

I'm terribly sorry. I had no idea... I was guessing, I...

- George should have introduced us, you know. - Of course he should.

Oh yes, uh... Poole, this is Tom Bishop, an old school friend of mine.

- How do you do? - And since.

And don't be tactful, George. Life's far too short.

No, the fact is he handled my divorcement last year.

Did jolly well, too.

When it comes to divorce lawyers, he's the tops.

- Are you in the same racket? - Yes, we're working on this case together.

Are you?

I shouldn't care to be footing the bill. Don't pay who can, I say.

Stewart, deux écossais, grands.

- What do you think of my French, eh? - Very practical.

Well, here's hoping you catch Mary.

- Surely that's Alistair MacBain. - Who?

MacBain, the writer.

- Another bird man? - Oh, no, he writes on politics.

He's on a lecture tour, I know. He's just founded a new World Council.

- Kind of original, hm? - It's called the Crusade of the Common Man.

Seems to me the little guy is doing all the crusading.

Et bien, M. MacBain,

je vous remercie encore une fois

des quelques paroles que vous avez voulu prononcer hier soir.

Yes, quite. Well, Mills, what are you waiting for?

Well, MacBain, I hope you have a pleasant trip.

Thank you. Mr. Mayor.

Au revoir, M. MacBain, bon voyage.

Alors, bon jour, monsieur. J'éspère que vous auriez un bon voyage.

- Merci. - Permettez.

- Ah, chef, voici M. MacBain. - Enchanté, M. MacBain!

No, this is M. MacBain.

- Idiot! - Excusez-moi, monsieur.

Et le baggage, voyons!

Et votre tunique!

Oh, qu'il m'emmerde, celui là! Boutons, boutons, boutons!

You gave that taxi driver far too much. Five francs is ample for a foreigner.

Yes, sir.

For heaven's sake, Mills, haven't you learned how to do that yet?

I'm sorry, sir.

You have a berth for my secretary, I suppose?

- Yes, indeed, monsieur, shall I...? - No, no, no, he'll find it later.

I want him here just now.

Will monsieur be requiring lunch?

The second service starts immediately we leave Dijon.

Yes, we shall want lunch.

- Thank you. - Thank you, monsieur.

- Will monsieur be requiring anything more? - No, thank you.

No, monsieur?

That's what I said. Mills, shut the door. I feel the draft.

Merci mille fois, monsieur.

Célébrité! Oh là là! Scotsmen!

Do you know what time it is, Mills?

Oh yes, of course, sir.

Now, Mills, stop chattering and call me in ten minutes.

Yes, sir.

How about a game of cards tonight, eh?

There's you, there's George, there's me, there's...

I'll get a fourth one somewhere. Just leave it to Tom.

There's nothing like an all night poker session on a train, eh?

- I only hope the scotch holds out. - I'm awfully tired, Tom.

Are you? Nonsense, old boy.

You have some sleep this afternoon, get yourself in trim for tonight.

Let's face it, old boy. There's nothing else to do, is there?

Ha! We're off!

- Well, I'm glad we've met. - So am I, George.

- I hate travelling alone. - I hope we meet again, at dinner.

Yes, rather. But don't let's break it up yet.

Let's go on to your carriage and have a chat. Come on, George.

- What do you say, Poole? - All right.

The chap in with me hates cigars.

Quite frankly, he seems to be smoking socks.

- Next coach, is it? - Yes, number 7.

I say, George...

She's an extraordinarily pretty girl sitting next to us there, isn't she?

Yes, she is nice, isn't she?

I think it ought to be a criminal offence to leave a girl like that alone.

Excuse me a moment. I left the cigarette case at the table.

- You carry on. - It's okay.

- There, take a seat. - Thanks.

- One of these? - Thank you.

- You English? - I was brought up in England.

- I'm British, you know. - Really?

Oh, yes.

It's all your fault. You shouldn't have known an awful man like that.

Darling, I didn't choose the boys that went to school with me.

- You could have dropped him afterwards. - I did until his case last year.

I think you'd better get off at Lausanne.

But George, you can't leave me stranded like that.

Look, Joan, Bishop's dynamite.

He's a stockbroker, he drinks and talks...

and once he finds out my reputation's gone.

Well, I'm risking mine. Can't you risk yours?

I'm risking mine because I loved you. If you loved me back, you'd do the same.

- Darling, please don't shout. - I wasn't shouting.

Darling, the stewards are looking at us.

Well, why shouldn't they look?

You said you'd play poker with him, too.

All right, all right, I'll think of something else but please, darling, do control yourself.

Pardon, monsieur, madame, le seconde service... I'm afraid I'll have...

Yes, we must go, yes...

Where to?

I'll find you another compartment for an hour.

I must get back, they'll miss me.

I'll fix it all up. Now don't worry. Everything will be all right.

- Well, go on. - Here's one from the Ambassador...

we saw in Paris last week, sir.

Excellent, what does he say?

Mon cher MacBean...

today my government has given its decision

on the question raised in conversation when we met last week.

I am ordered by my Foreign Office to inform you...

that they cannot grant permission for a lecture tour within my country's frontiers.

I wish to emphasize, however, that there is no shadow of objection...

raised against your visiting my country as a private citizen or a common man.

That's enough, Mills.

Tin pot little government like that.

Common man indeed. Never heard such cheat.

- Here, Mills, take a letter. - Yes, sir.

"My dear Ambassador,"

No, cut off the 'my'.

And cut out the 'Dear Ambassador'. Just 'Sir'.

"Your letter of the so-and-so received."

"As one who has lectured with official recognition and encouragement in..."

"Washington, Paris..." You know them all. Put in the lot.

"...it comes as a great surprise to be debarred from..."

Oh, damn it, Mills, I can't believe it!

Me, to be banned from crusading in a cockeyed State like that?

"It comes as a great surprise that..."

Oh, I've lost the thread.

- Where was I, Mills? - In a cockeyed State, sir.

No, no, you fool. Don't put that down.

I'm sorry, sir.

Yes, well, we'll do it later.

Oh, from the dear Dean.

Take this.

My dear Dean,

I was extremely gratified to learn that you enjoyed my article last week.

Of the many and enthusiastic letters which I have had congratulating me,

yours, my dear Dean,

stands quite alone.

- Quite alone. - Yes.

Anybody know the time?

- Going to half-past four. - Is that all?

That all?

Better get some forty winks sleep if we're going to hold our own tonight.

Don't you boys worry. I'll get a fourth one somewhere.

Even if it has to be the bloody engine driver.

I want to thank you for helping me out at lunch.

- Don't mention it. Thanks. - Pretty tricky.

If that bore had guessed.

It would have made it awkward for you professionally.

Exactly. I'm extremely grateful to you.

We aim to please.

Well, I think I'll have a little sleep.

- See you tonight. - Yes, rather.

That's a good idea. I think I'll have a little nap, too.

But you've got your own compartment, haven't you?

Yes, this is it.

- Look here, I only said... - I know. I heard exactly what you said.

Surely you wouldn't like to disillusion him.

I mean to say...

you wouldn't want him to find out who owns this dainty little pair of gloves.

Look here, what's your game?

A very simple one.

In my compartment there's a man who plays the radio incessantly.

I've asked the chef to try and remove me to somewhere else...

but he hasn't found me another berth so far and I'm rather afraid he won't.

So here I stay until we pass Trieste.

He's got a free compartment after there.

You mean you're going to stay in here all night?

That's the general idea, yes.

That is, of course, if you feel you'd like to find another berth.

I'm rather tired of snooping around these drafty corridors myself.

It's uh... it's really up to you.

I'll soon fix that.

- You go and rest, eh? - All right.

Oh... hello.

- From your expression you are disappointed. - Oh, no, of course not.

I've seen to many disappointed faces not to know.

My own included.

You know, M. Poirier, I've always held that cooking is a knack.

An knack? - Exactly. Either you've got it or you haven't.

I'm one of the lucky ones.

I always used to do the cooking at our scout troop.

I remember when I was in the Army...

my CO yanked me out of being an Educations Officer...

and sent me on a messing course at Aylsham.

- Have you been there? - No, monsieur.

Oh, it's a dash fine place. It's a sort of paradise for Army cooks.

I passed out 27.

I remember I had to conjure up a Lancashire hotpot.

It's quite easy when you know the drill.

I'll tell you how it's done.

You get a piece of mutton. Leg, saddle's no good.

And you tear it into chops.

One layer of meat, one layer of onions and potatoes.

Slivers of potatoes if you want to make it proud.

Again a layer of meat, a layer of spice, and so on and so forth.

Understand what I mean, or am I going too quick for you?

- No, I follow you perfectly. - Good Joe.

- How far have we got? - Layer number 5.

You might come across him.

He's light, little mustache. I particularly wanted to see him,

- ...so if you do come across him... - Right-o.

Oh, about leaving here for grub, you know, one can't be too careful.

Our English trains are bad enough, but these continental ones,

why every second person you meet is probably a thief.

Oh, very true, very true...

Now, what I say is you mustn't take risks.

Now, come dinner time if you go to first service,

I'll take the other.

That way there will be somebody here all the time to guard our luggage.

Remarkably good idea.

You can't teach me much about travelling.

I traveled Leeds to Bradford for... nigh on 27 years.

- Did you, really? - I'm in the motor trade, you know.

Really?

- What, you're off again? - Just for a moment.

"I am, my dear Lord Edward, yours, etc., etc., etc.

- Shall I type these letters out now, sir? - No, you can do that when I'm at tea.

Now read the paper to me, Mills.

What did Dijon say about my speech?

"Hier soir la ville de Dijon a eu l'honneur de recevoir M. Alastair MacBain...

- ...célèbre écrivain anglais et le fondateur..." - Stop it, Mills!

- Where did you go to school? - In England, sir.

Then stick to English.

Last night, Dijon had the honor of entertaining Mr. Alastair MacBain.

the famous English author and the founder of the Crusade of the Common Man.

Well, go on, Mills.

That's all, sir.

Why the devil don't you say so?

I see a Paris Embassy has been robbed, sir.

- Oh, which one? - Your friend who wrote you this morning.

Really? Do him a bit of good. What did they take?

It doesn't say. A member of the staff has been murdered, too.

- Not the Ambassador. - That fellow never did the right thing yet.

Mills, one day I'll make that jumped-up jack-in-office eat his words.

Yes, sir.

Mills, do you know what time it is?

Oh, I'm frightfully sorry, sir.

Look, that fellow Poole can't move till one.

What do you mean can't move?

He just won't budge. He says he's staying in our cabin...

until someone finds him somewhere else to go.

I found him another one, but not till one o'clock.

- Till one? - I know, I'm sorry, darling.

Still it's safer. Tom will be tucked up in bed by then.

Oh, George, everything's gone wrong.

Perhaps it's retribution or something.

Nonsense, just bas staff work. Everything's going to be all right.

- Still, if you'd rather get off at Lausanne. - Oh, George, do you want me to?

Of course not. Still, it might be better if you stayed in there for the night.

It'll be safer. The berth is free, isn't it?

Darling, do you want me to?

You do ask silly questions.

Silly child.

- À bientôt. - Till half-past one.

- Till a quarter-past. - All right, till a quarter-past.

We're just about crossing the Swiss-Italian border now.

That last place was called Brig.

- That's right. Sounds Scotch, doesn't it? - Yes, it does, doesn't it? I wonder why.

I don't know. Once a Scotsman got stranded there

and couldn't pay duty on his kilts, I guess.

Our next stop is Domodossola. What a funny word.

Makes you think of camels, doesn't it?

No, not me.

Oh, but surely, my dear boy, a kind of dromedary.

- No, sir. Never met one socially. They're just like camels, really.

Only with two humps.

Are you going to give them a lecture on that, too, in Trieste?

Oh, no, no, I'm purely birds. I only study animals.

Wales is a kind of busman's holiday, you know.

Oh, I see.

I find them fascinating, I admit.

But, you know, it doesn't do to have two subjects.

It's concentration that achieves results.

That's why I stick to birds.

Still, I must admit that the duck-billed platypus is fascinating.

Do you realize it's the only animal which lays an egg?

Really? Well, maybe the others just haven't tried yet, hm?

Veni, andiamo.

Bene, ragazzi, voi andate da quella parte.

E non perdere tempo.

Prego, signore.

Tiens, bon jour, mon vieux.

Ah, M. Jolif! You will have nothing to declare, of course.

Not yet. Perhaps on the way back, who knows?

Merci.

- For your own use, signor? - That's right, for a rainy day.

That's all right.

Avete niente di diclarare?

Je ne parle pas italien et ma soeur non plus.

- You speak English? - Yes, a little.

Good. Then you have nothing to declare?

No, monsieur.

Does mademoiselle know the English word... the hat?

Yes, why?

- Still mademoiselle has nothing to declare? - Non, monsieur.

Well, well, it is incredible.

It seems this year in Paris that the man is wearing the woman's hats.

Okay.

Aha!

- And it is empty? - Yes.

I'm keeping it for silk stockings when I come back.

Ah, let us hope that you will come back.

- Good night. - Good night.

Oh, forgive me, I was looking for a friend of mine.

But there was a gentleman here who has just gone, I don't know where.

Perhaps he was your friend.

I rather think he didn't like my friend.

Do you like music?

Oh, I see you do.

Do you go to Venice for the festival?

Perhaps, if my business is finished in time.

Your business?

You don't look the type of a career woman.

May one wonder what sort of business you're in?

One may.

But monsieur may be certain that whatever it is, it is no business of his.

- Oh, forgive me. - I'm sorry I disturbed you.

Not at all. By the way...

Remember me. It's probable we shall meet again.

Sporty chaps.

- Hello, Tom. - Are you more for the joy, old skylark?

I don't feel awfully like a game tonight.

Swinging the lead, eh? I'll put you on to fodders.

Come on, a nice game of cards. It's just a job.

- Tom, I'm tired. - Tired? Nonsense, dear old fellow.

All you want is something to do.

I bet you'd wake up if that little number we saw at lunch dropped in here to do her homework, eh?

All right, all right. Have you got a fourth?

No, not yet. But don't you worry.

I'll just bring out the cards and then you'll see the rush.

I tell you, they'll swarm around us. I'll book a table.

Meanwhile, you fellows get yourselves organized.

And, George. Cheer up.

I'm not going.

You might as well. We can't turn in till one.

- Why not? - Well, changing over and uh...

and all that.

Oh, yes, I see.

Oh, thank you very much.

- Any sign? - No, not yet.

I've still got a few compartments left. He's certainly keeping undercover.

If he's on the train at all.

I thought you were so confident that Pierre spoke the truth.

Yes, I was.

But then why so sad?

If Karl gets beyond Trieste with that diary it means revolution.

Putting the clock back to where it was before my father died.

Don't worry, Valya, I'll find him.

I'll go to every single compartment tonight.

I'll even come here to have a look at yours.

- For Karl? - Yes, of course, for Karl.

In my compartment there's a girl who is very much in love.

Pity there aren't two.

Tell me, Valya...

Where did you lose your heart, huh?

What makes you think I have lost my heart?

Where is it then?

I lost it the day my father was murdered.

I promised myself then that I'd carry on with his work.

If I get that book, it will be completed.

And then?

And then, maybe I'll take a holiday.

Alone?

Perhaps alone.

Perhaps not.

And if perhaps, perhaps... uh?

Perhaps.

Steward, cigarettes, please.

- At once, monsieur. - Thank you.

I say, now that girl... I wonder who...

Oh... I forgot that she's your... your...

Uh... steward, trois scotch, please, and a packet of cards...

you know, cherchez la femme, pull a poker game...

- Vous savez moi? - Very well, monsieur.

You'd think the fellow didn't understand me, wouldn't you?

Hm.

You wouldn't care to join us, would you?

No, thank you very much, I've got lots of work to do.

Really? All work and no play, you know...

drives all the girls away.

Look here, I'd really rather turn in now, get a few hours rest.

Come on, you might win a lot of money.

Bishop's a terrible player.

You sure you won't play, just for half an hour?

Quite sure, I've lots to do. Thank you all the same.

- I'd rather turn in now... - Ah, George and Poole.

- I think I've changed my mind. - You will play? Good man.

- Let me introduce you, this is George Grant. - How do you do?

- I'm Bishop, and Mr. Poole. - How do you do? My name is Zurta.

I'm delighted to meet you. I've been searching for a friend all day.

I... I left my cigarettes behind...

Please. do smoke mine, I've just bought some, Mr. Poole.

I've got plenty more. Sit down.

I say, have you seen a ghost?

I'm sorry, I didn't want to make a fuss.

I'm liable to these attacks, it's just giddiness, you know.

I think I'll go and lie down in my bunk...

Fine, I'll come along and see that you are all right.

No, don't bother. You begin without me.

No, it wouldn't be the same, would it?

You stay here, old boy. Here is much better than in those sardine tins.

Yes, perhaps it would be better here.

Good man. You could use a large scotch.

That'll lay the ghost, old boy.

Steward, a large scotch for M. Poole. Medicinal.

- Let's cut the deal, shall we? - Right.

Yep.

No deal, George.

Deal me the aces. There won't be more than four.

- He won again. - Well, well, well.

Qui est-ce?

Has monsieur not made a mistake?

I, uh... I don't know, honey... yet.

We don't understand, monsieur.

I, uh... I got a little liquor here and I uh...

I thought maybe you'd like to share it with me.

I thought you might be lonely without all those hats, you know?

- So I came along. - Monsieur is very kind.

They breed us kind where I come from.

Yes, but my sister and me we are not thirsty.

Heck, you don't have to be thirsty to drink this stuff.

Yes, but we are too tired.

Oh, this'll wake you up. Have you got a couple of glasses?

Yes, but we desire to sleep and not to wake up.

Oh.

But why don't you invite your friend to share it with you?

- Who, Birdman? - Hm-hmm.

Listen, sister, if I gave that guy one sniff of this stuff, just one,

I'd get the lowdown on a lesser-spotted,

double-breasted, jet-propelled dromedary bird.

I'd rather drink the whole thing myself...

than listen to a lot of private things

that isn't nice to talk about behind a creature's back.

Qu'est-ce que c'est que ça?

Oh, don't get my motives wrong, mademoiselle.

This is just a gesture of Franco-American...

solidarity and friendship.

That I know, monsieur,

for I have seen many such gestures...

when Americans come to Paris.

But really, monsieur, I don't want to be liberated anymore.

Good night, sir.

Ace flush.

- He wins again. - Well, well, well.

Oh, don't fuss, Mills! That's all right.

- Now get off to bed. - Yes, sir. Good night, sir.

- And, Mills, don't disturb me till half-past eight. - No, sir.

- And, Mills, - Yes, sir?

Did they like my speech at Dijon today? - Tremendously, sir.

- Yes, I thought they did. Good night. - Good night, sir.

See you.

Well, I'm blown. I've never seen such a run of luck.

- Good luck can't last forever. - I believe not.

I say, Poole. Have you heard the expression?

Lucky with the pasteboards?

You're having trouble with your private life, I bet you are.

Well, let's have a drink before we have to pay by barter.

Allow me.

Pardon, messieurs. Do any of messieurs alight at Sovrano?

Sovrano? Never heard of it.

We stop there one minute, monsieur.

Oh, that's very kind, old boy. Don't stop for me.

Steward, same again, please.

I think I'll just slip down the corridor.

Not while the train is still standing at the station.

Yes, but I can't imagine why anyone would want to get out here.

No doubt they have their reasons.

Shady ones, I bet.

Very possible.

There's another handy one that we use quite a lot.

I don't know if you know about it.

You mix flour and chop through it with a little water...

until you get a nice congealed dough.

Then you put it in a basin, cover it with a cloth...

and boil it for a couple of hours. Simple, isn't it?

And you can serve it in a dozen different ways.

With syrup, with marmalade, with treacle, with...

Oh, well, in a dozen different ways.

Sometimes we put a teaspoon full of raspberry jam with it.

That's called roly-poly pudding.

But, of course, it's called pudding framboise on the menu.

Oh là là là là là là là...

Now, rice can give you some very, very good sweets.

Boiled rice, for instance.

Of course we can't get the rice now...

because the Chinese are holding it all back for themselves.

But barley's a very good substitute.

Very tasty if served up cold.

Please, monsieur, I'm an old man and very tired.

- So maybe tomorrow. - Of course, M. Poirier, how thoughtless of me.

I'm terribly sorry I've kept you up too late.

Well, you get a good night's sleep.

And tomorrow morning I'll see if a can make this nice Continental breakfast of yours.

Bon soir, M. Poirier.

Qu'il me fatigue, alors.

Enfin, il ne va pas me revoir, amateur.

All right, I'll see you.

Well, well, well.

I shall have to pawn my cigarette case in Trieste.

Surely we haven't finished.

- Just another round of jackpots. - No, it's nearly half-past twelve.

Aren't you satisfied with all the money you've won?

Yes, but... I don't mind about the money, though.

Look, I'll tell you what.

I'll give you back all your losses and we can start again.

What? I say, old boy...

that just isn't done.

Gentlemen,

Mr. Poole is one of those excentrics

who walks through life uninfluenced by money.

- No, but... - But what?

Well, it's a lot of money, isn't it?

Indeed it is. But it's money you won fairly, isn't it?

Well, if that old adage is right,

there ought to be a pretty hot romance waiting for me along that corridor.

And you, old boy.

What about it, eh? Bed?

Good night.

- Good night, Tom. - Good night, George.

Good night, Mr. Poole.

Don't forget your money.

Save you the trouble of a will, won't it?

Don't forget the steward.

Merci mille fois, monsieur, merci.

- Good night, Mr. Poole. - Good night, Mr. Zurta.

Good night, Mr. Grant. I'm glad we've met.

Why are you locking that door? You'll be moving in a few minutes.

I can't go.

What do you mean you can't go? I got another berth for you at one.

Yes, I know, but... Look, Grant, I can't explain.

- Well, you better have a damn good try. - I must stay here.

I'll give you anything you like if you let me stay here.

Look, you can have all this, anything.

Get this straight, I don't want money. I want privacy.

Now come on, get out!

Well, not satisfied with all the money you've won.

Is he dead?

I see.

You've arranged for him to be conveniently unconscious.

I'm most grateful to you for your tact and understanding, Mr. Poole.

You were with it in France!

I've come to get the diary.

Did you hear me?

I've come to get the diary, Mr. Poole.

- It isn't here! - It isn't true.

It is true. I sweat it's true.

Look, Zurta, I wouldn't double cross you.

I was going to get more for it, that's all.

- Yes, from another government. - I promise you I'd have sent you your share.

Karl, I give you ten seconds to produce the diary.

Ten seconds don't take long to take away.

- I tell you it isn't here! - Where is it?

- It's in another compartment, I've hidden it. - Where?

In the compartment where I was at first.

I was turned out at Dijon. There was another booking, or something.

Who's in there now?

Look, put that gun away!

Now we can talk sensibly.

I'm the only one who knows where it is.

So I'm the only one who can get it back.

If you shoot me now, Zurta, you'll never find it, will you?

Unless of course you propose to take the train to pieces bit by bit.

We'll make a bargain, shall we?

I'll be back in that compartment

as soon as the man who's in it now gets out.

- And where does he get out? - Trieste.

Trieste.

Lying, double-crossing little...

Don't you know I've got to leave the train before we reach Trieste?

Of course you do.

You've cooked this up to fool me, haven't you?

The diary is here. Give it to me!

- Zurta, I... - All right, I'll get it myself.

Now, will you give it to me?

All right.

Oh no, you won't!

Au revoir.

George!

George, darling! George, what's happened?

- George! - I can't remember.

We were fighting and... he hit me on the head with a bottle.

You've killed him, George!

- No, no. - George, you have!

Look there.

Heavens!

Joan, what time is it?

Joan, what time is it?

Just half-past one.

Then I've been unconscious for about half an hour.

Someone must have come in and killed him.

George, but who?

I don't know. A train thief or someone.

Oh, George, what are we to do?

You must go straight back to your compartment.

- What about you? - I'll think of something when my head clears.

The main thing is you mustn't get involved. Wait a minute.

All clear.

Madame is caught? Madame, allow me.

Thank you.

Monsieur!

Thank you. George, my wrap got caught.

- Yes... - I come for M. Poole, monsieur.

- For M. Poole, what...?

Yes, monsieur, I was sent to transport M. Poole.

He has his new compartment now. He is ready?

- No, not quite. - But monsieur le chef du train said.

Yes, I know, but he's changed his mind and he's asleep.

But monsieur, it was yourself who asked.

Yes, I know, but now the man's asleep.

Does not monsieur wish to be alone?

Naturally, but you know...

Oh, I know, monsieur, I know. Monsieur is too kindhearted.

Monsieur leave it all to me. I will wake M. Poole.

No, I'll wake him gradually and you come back in 10 minutes.

If monsieur desire...

I transport the baggage of M. Poole and I return in 10 minutes.

No...

Oh, mille pardons, monsieur.

M. Poole est mort!

I go fetch monsieur chef to train.

Monsieur and madame will wait in here.

I'll wait, of course. But madame can return to her compartment.

Monsieur, madam will wait here.

With you!

Oh, George, why did we ever come away?

Now don't darling, it's no use breaking down.

I can't help it.

The papers, George. Just think of them.

- I'll never be able to face my friends again. - Joan, pull yourself together!

I was mad to come. I should have known.

Don't be ridiculous. How could you have known?

I never should have trusted you.

What do you mean? Joan!

- Joan, you don't think that I... - Well, then. Who else?

Who else?

Monsieur, monsieur.

Un homme vien d'être assassiné.

- Pas de blague. - Je vous assure. Au numéro 18.

Aller chercher le Dr. Lecourt au 26.

- J'y cour, monsieur. - Trouve-moi um petit coin. Il faut travailler.

Entendu, monsieur.

- I found him. - Good.

Well, that's all we can tell you, I'm afraid.

As for the money, well, it's fairly obvious...

no self-respecting murderer would miss an opportunity like that.

He planted it on me, of course, while I was unconscious.

You can reproduce the actions of a murderer?

No, but hang it all, it's obvious.

Perhaps it is, and again, perhaps it is not.

- You have a stewardess on the train? - Of course, monsieur.

She will conduct madame... madame or mademoiselle?

Miss Maxted.

She will conduct Miss Maxted to her compartment...

to get dressed and to come back.

Very good, monsieur.

You, you will remain here under guard.

You will contact the police of Venice...

- ...and arrange for them to meet the train. - Certainly, monsieur.

You can rest assured...

that I will do my utmost to apprehend Mr. Poole's murderer.

Guess we made some progress in the night, huh?

Good morning.

Yes, as far as I can judge, we must be somewhere between Padua and Venice.

About midway, I'd say.

You didn't dream about no birds last night, did you?

No, why?

I did. Thousands of them.

Picking on me, millions of them.

Diving at me, pecking at me, flying around my head in ever decreasing circles.

- Perhaps you had a nightmare. - You're telling me.

Maybe you caught a cold or got a temperature.

I got a temperature all right, pal, but I ain't got no cold.

Say, what was the name of that character that drums again?

- Snipe. - Yeah, it's them I dreamed about.

I couldn't seem to move without I stepped on a snipe.

Clouds of them all beating drums and talking French.

And laying hat boxes in other people's hats.

I've got some aspirins in my pocket if you'd like some.

No, thanks, pal, I've got some medicine right here.

I guess I'll take a dose of that.

Maybe I can frighten off them sneaps that way.

Oh no, no, no, my dear fellow.

You see, the plural of snipe is snipe.

I don't like it. When that girl came back at 3:30 this morning she was crying bitterly.

- I'm sorry to hear that. - But Zurta, she's so young.

- Obviously. - I don't want this girl...

It doesn't matter about the man.

But I don't want this girl involved.

My dear Valya, that girl and Mr. Grant walked slap into it.

So far as we're concerned, like a gift from heaven.

One doesn't look a gift horse in the mouth, does one?

Or if one does, one pays for it.

I should have to pay with my neck. And you probably too.

I had no part in this.

It would be very difficult to prove.

And listen, Valya, if the worse should happen,

and I am accused of having killed Mr. Poole,

remember that I went to your compartment after I finished playing cards...

and remained there until... What time did you say the girl came back?

- Three-thirty. - Remained there until 3:30.

Do you understand?

Do you really think I'd tell them that?

Well, why not? It's at least a possibility, isn't it?

Et bien, voilà, the case is yours.

No, no, no, monsieur. You have been present when the crime was taken place.

Already you have your own theories.

Besides, it is an honor to assist Signor Jolif in his task.

Monsieur, the case is yours.

- Excuse me, please. - You wish to see me, monsieur?

- Oh, you're the local Sherlock Holmes. - What a flatterer you are.

I am Inspector Jolif of the Sûreté.

If you'll forgive me for saying so, you look a very reasonable sort of fellow.

Thank you. And?

Look, it's rumored around the train that you rather put your foot in it.

Have I, really?

Yes... the whole thing is preposterous, it's laughable.

Maybe it is, but I'm afraid poor Mr. Poole will never laugh any more.

Yes, I know, poor chap. I'm sorry about that, but...

But they tell me that you've pinched old George.

It's fantastic to arrest a fellow like George...

Why so?

Why so? Well, I know him, you don't.

I tell you, to kill a business associate is... well...

What, you mean to say that Mr. Poole was an associate of Mr. Grant?

Why, of course. They're in the same case together.

They're travelling to Venice, you know. Collecting evidence.

So, well that's another thing too.

- Have I made another faux pas? - A what?

- I mean error. - Oh, yes, yes...

...in eagerness I have no doubt. But this is the silliest thing of all.

They tell me that you suspect...

that George is travelling on this train with a young girl.

Are you aware that he's a married man?

Ah, you surprise me, monsieur.

And to a very pretty girl, what's more.

Have you ever observed in life that many who marry pretty women...

are inclined to be susceptible to pretty women?

Why...

Mr. Bishop, have you got anything else to tell me?

No, no, I just came along here to clear old George.

Now that I've done it, I'll just nip off and finish my breakfast.

Please do. I shall bear your theory in mind.

What theory, Mr. Jolif?

The theory that murderers are very seldom found among one's friends.

Merci, monsieur. Good day.

Not at all.

Prendeti qui il Signor Grant e la Signora Maxted.

On aura tout vu là. Un bureau dans la cuisine.

Vraiment ils ont fiché de vous. Je prépare le déjeuner.

- But monsieur go to Trieste. - Quite, quite.

I intended to alight at Trieste, monsieur.

But now it may be necessary for me to go on to Zagreb.

It's a long journey, isn't it?

That's why I'd like to have a single compartment.

- I wonder if you could help me. - Monsieur, all are occupied.

- Oh... - Ah, non, non, non.

One will be vacant from Trieste. But that, alas, is promised.

Tiens, non, non, non. It isn't anymore.

It was for M. Poole, he who has died.

- Oh, well, could I have that one then? - If monsieur so desires.

- Which number is it? - Number 3.

Three. Well, should it be required, I'll let you know. Thank you very much.

Merci beaucoup, monsieur.

- Vous permettez? - Mais dit-on, vous êtes pas chez vous!

Je suis chez moi ici.

Oh, Mr. Grant.

You say that Mr. Poole and you met yesterday for the first time.

- That's right. - You're sure of that?

Yes, positive.

Then why did you tell Mr. Bishop...

that Mr. Poole and you were travelling together on your legal business?

I didn't tell him that. Poole told him that.

- But you were there at the time, it seems. - Yes, certainly.

And why didn't you contradict him?

- Well... - Why not?

- Well, it's a long story. - And an old one, too.

Well, you see, I was with Joan... Miss Maxted...

and Bishop came along...

Well, Poole played up and said he was in with me.

I suppose he wanted a sanctuary.

But if you were with this young lady, why not tell your friend the truth?

The truth? Well, you see, I'm a married man.

Now tell me, can Englishmen not even sin with honesty?

Now listen, Jolif, you're French, I'm English, see?

I have noticed that, Mr. Grant.

Well, it's said that with an Englishman his reputation comes before uh...

well... his romance.

An Englishman will go to any lengths to keep his reputation clean.

To any lengths, Mr. Grant?

Yes.

Not to those lengths, though.

Hang it all, you're not still on that tack, are you?

Now listen, Jolif.

I can't tell you who killed Poole, but I can prove it wasn't me.

Please proceed.

Well, the doctor said that Poole was murdered around 12:30.

- Agreed. - Right.

Secondly, the doctor also said...

he thought I was unconscious for about an hour.

And thirdly, the doctor said the death was instantaneous.

And lastly and fourthly,

when Miss Maxted and the steward found me I was just regaining consciousness.

- Or acting so. - Now look here.

A fellow can't act a bump like that!

- Agreed. - Right.

What's left? Three possibilities.

Here's number one.

I murdered Poole after he knocked me out.

Number two, Poole knocked me out after I murdered him.

Number three, another fellow murdered him.

But there is another possibility.

Suppose that Miss Maxted is in your compartment...

awaiting for your return from playing cards.

A moment, please.

Poole comes in with you. Indeed insists on coming in with you.

You don't want him there. Two is company, they say, you know.

So you try to throw him out.

He draws a knife, you knock it from his hand,

he sees the bottle, picks it up and knocks you out.

This leaves Miss Maxted alone with him.

Consumed with fear, she sees the knife, picks it up,

he tries to take it away from her,

there's a struggle, and in the struggle...

she shuts her eyes and stabs.

No, it isn't true!

- Ridiculous! - I'm not finished yet.

Miss Maxted then tries to bring you around.

She takes an hour to do so.

Then you ask her to abandon you, she leaves...

but her negligé catches in the door and the steward finds her there trapped.

- That fits the facts. - Ridiculous! The motive isn't there.

The motive? I don't agree. What about her fear, what about her panic?

- Women are emotional. - Not English women.

I'll take your word for that.

Well, if you don't want my motive, what about yours?

Mr. Poole knew your secret, didn't he, poor Mr. Poole.

And by blackmailing you he holds you in his power.

Your reputation gone, your business wound up,

your income disappeared...

and you yourself announced that Englishmen would go to any lengths.

I can disprove that theory.

Why?

When Mr. Poole was killed, I was in bed in my compartment...

and I didn't leave it until half-past one.

You ask the girl I share it with. She was awake, she saw me go.

Porta qui la Signora Valya Swarenka.

You can smoke if you like.

Oh, good morning, Miss Swarenka.

I trust I haven't dragged you from some symphony concert.

I have no radio, monsieur.

It's a pity. Mine is at your disposal, mademoiselle.

That's very kind of you.

Now tell us at what time this young lady left her compartment last night?

We were talking, weren't we?

- Yes. - At what time, please?

It would be just after half-past twelve.

Oh, no it wasn't. Please, please think again.

It was just after half-past twelve.

You're sure of that.

I had occasion to look at my watch.

What do you mean occasion?

I had amused myself by wondering...

how long her friend would keep her waiting.

- Women are like that, you know. - Yes, yes, I know.

- Is that all? - Yes.

- I may go? - Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, but...

Well, Miss Maxted, according to Miss Swarenka...

you were not in your compartment when Poole was killed.

But... but I was! I promise you I was.

That woman is making a mistake. Perhaps her watch had stopped.

Joan, did you see anyone in the corridor on your way to my compartment last night?

- Now think. - Yes...

Yes, I did. I passed a man.

He looked a foreigner. Good-looking, rather tall.

- Oh, George, you must have seen him. - He had fair hair.

Yes.

He was the fellow who was playing poker with us.

- There were no other passengers around. - Well, what's his name?

Zurta, I believe. That's right, Captain Zurta.

Please send for him at once.

At your service.

Il Signor Zurta, per piacere.

Finished, Mills?

Put up your hands!

- This is an outrage! - Shut up!

Monsieur, in this compartment there was left something left for me that is no longer here.

I assume it has already been found by you or by you.

I shall count five.

If it is not in my possession by the time I finish counting five, you will be shot.

One...

two...

three...

Help!

Help!

Help!

Alte le mani!

Oh, thank you, officer, just in the nick of time.

Is this man attacking you, monsieur?

Yes, I charge him with assault and battery and with attempted murder.

Insolent cowardly thief!

Will the signori come to see the inspector?

- Yes, certainly. - Avanti!

Mills, clean up this mess.

Yes, sir.

Then, just as I'd attack him, this officer turned up.

- Do you deny it? - Yes, he never touched me.

- Do you deny that you attacked Mr. MacBain? - No, what's the use?

What were you looking for?

Mr. MacBain, do you know what Mr. Zurta was looking for?

It's fairly common knowledge that I'm not exactly a pauper, isn't it?

I shan't keep you any longer. Thank you, Mr. MacBain.

Thank you.

This is the man who met me in the corridor last night.

The evidence of a train robber is always a bit suspect.

Why should it be? It doesn't mean a thing to him.

At what time did you encounter this young lady in the corridor last night?

- Please remember, please. - Yes, it's important.

- I'm afraid I can't remember. - Well then, near enough will do.

At what time?

I don't remember having met this charming young lady at all last night.

- Cigarette? - No, thank you. I smoke a pipe.

You know, this book of yours is hot air. It's quite unreadable.

Mills, didn't I tell you to clean up this mess?

- You did indeed. - Have you been drinking?

- Yes. - Mills, are you mad?

No, I'm sane. Sane at last.

Look here, MacBain,

I found out what that train thief said he was looking for.

He said one of us had found it and he was right.

You had. And you were going to keep on to it, too.

What the hell are you raving about, Mills?

This diary. This will start a war.

This is the secret document...

they pinched in Paris in that Embassy. It's dynamite.

And you were hiding it.

Perhaps you think I was going to ask for a reward.

Not you, you cunning, double-crossing old fox.

I can see it all.

Because they banned your silly little lecture tour, and quite rightly,

you meant to use this diary as a revenge.

You mean old hypocrite.

Well now, MacBain, you can't because I've got it, see?

Yes, there's... there's quite a heavy penalty for keeping stolen property, MacBain.

Oh, so you think I'm in league with criminals, my bright young man.

I'm not your bright young man.

I'm your unhappy, underpaid, slightly inebriated secretary.

A man who loathes your guts, MacBain.

A man who's going to take this diary to the police.

- Unless... - Unless?

Are you in any doubt as to your duties, Mills?

I'm not a saint, MacBain. Like every man I have my price, so...

If you sit down and write a check for... say er...

10.000 pounds.

- That's blackmail, Mills. - Oh no, it's not.

It's back arrears of salary.

You've kicked me around enough, now you're going to pay for it.

Ten thousand pounds isn't good enough, but...

well, I'm a modest little common man and... it'll do.

And suppose I give you that check, what then?

Then I'll give you the diary and you can kick up all the dirt you want.

My dear young man, I've listened to you talk...

because I like to know the real character of those whom I employ.

I'm bound to say I'm not impressed with yours.

Not only are you crooked, but you have another quality.

A far less attractive quality. Stupidity.

You don't imagine, do you, that that diary is genuine.

- Of course it is. - It's not, you know.

- It's forged. - How do you know?

Because I made a study of calligraphy.

A...

I don't know why it was forged, but I do know that it is.

You don't believe me, Mills.

Well then compare it with this letter from his excellency the Ambassador.

- But it's typed. - Yes, but the signature isn't.

Now you compare that signature with what you've got in your hand.

You see, it's quite clearly a fake.

Look, man. Look at the Ls, and the Ds, and the upward angles of the Ns.

And, best of all, the serifs. Please observe the serifs.

- The what? - The serifs, man, the serifs.

Surely you know what serifs are. Look here, I'll show you.

Thank you, Mills. That saved a lot of awkwardness.

I shall present this to the chef du Train.

A diary found in my compartment and returned instantly.

Exemplary, eh, Mills? I don't think anybody would listen to you...

...if you disputed that.

- Then it is genuine. - Of course it's genuine.

Silly work forging diaries. Even sillier than keeping them at all.

- You're going to hand it over to the police? - Yes.

I don't want to tempt you into blackmail, Mills.

I'm far too fond of you.

This way, monsieur.

Mr. MacBain, we meet again.

This I think will help you in your task, Inspector.

- And what is it? - A diary, monsieur.

Small, but highly lethal.

Then I will take charge of it at once, merci, monsieur.

Do you know that this little book was stolen from a certain Embassy in Paris?

- Really? Interesting. - The Sûreté was instantly informed.

But now, fortunately, we have it back quickly.

By the way, where did you get it?

I found it in my berth, didn't I, Mills?

- Yes... - My secretary was with me at the time.

- It had been hidden there. - Undoubtedly by M. Poole.

It all begins to fit.

Poole wished to be alone in his compartment...

to hide this so that he could have it passed through the customs.

When I arrived, he wanted to change compartments.

- There's something else. - Let's have it.

This fellow asked for the compartment just an hour ago.

He said he wanted it.

No doubt.

And when he held me up he said there was something hidden there.

- That's why I looked. - Thank you.

The story is unwound. Poole was a man not unknown to the police.

He hid this book. He wouldn't tell you where.

You threatened him, you fight, he dies.

As you willed, monsieur.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, monsieur.

But I was nowhere near the place where M. Poole was killed last night.

Indeed. Where were you last night?

Well, this is most embarrassing.

Still, this seems to be my life against a lady's reputation.

The one can be repaired, the other can't.

All right, after I'd finished playing cards last night...

I went to the compartment of the lady who is sharing it with this charming lady there.

and remained there until after three.

Do you understand?

Indeed.

Indeed, monsieur. Thank you.

Cercate Swarenka, per piacere.

If you have no further need of myself or my secretary, then uh..

No, indeed, monsieur. I am most grateful to you for what you've done.

Thank you.

You know, that girl, she's terribly attractive.

Yes, a pretty lass and all. Her friend's in my compartment, that foreign chap.

- Got sort of foreign habits, too. - What do you mean?

Nigh on two o'clock last night when he came to bed...

hair all ruffled and... I mean to say.

Yes, I know, but don't tell me. It's my blood pressure, you know.

As I told you, I had occasion to look at my watch.

Captain Zurta's visit was the occasion.

I looked at the time when he arrived and when he left.

At three o'clock.

I hope I haven't shocked you, monsieur.

What was that you said?

- I didn't say anything bad about him. - No, no, about the time he came to bed.

Oh, around two o'clock.

We knocked off at twelve thirty.

Come on, Leeds United, we're going to save an Englishman from the guillotine.

Serious, not to me.

I'm not satisfied. From you one story and from you another one.

They can't both be true. A pair is lying..

and I have an instinct which it is. We know a bit about you, Zurta.

But you can't prove it, can you? Try proving it.

Monsieur, écoutez to this, will you? Come on, Randall.

- No, no, it isn't fair to give the lad away. - Why not?

- I've had my fun, you know. - Yes, I know. Now look!

This fellow Randall shares a compartment with Zurta.

He said he barged in last night at two o'clock.

- Is that correct? - Yes, that's right, lad.

Not that I'm blaming him.

I've been a bit of a lad myself, you know. Last war, of course.

Have you nothing to say, Zurta?

Of course I have. A lot.

You smug, self-satisfied policeman.

Can't you see the truth? It wasn't me.

It was the man who gave you the diary.

How else do you think he could have got it, eh?

Cigarette?

Catch.

Stand still the lot of you! Drop your weapons!

Don't you reach for your gun, unless you want to die.

Now, M. Jolif, will you please hand over the diary?

I thought you were going to forget it.

Thank you.

Goodbye. And I hope you will catch your murderer.

Shall I fetch a porter, sir?

What do I pay you for? Follow me, Mills.

Porter, porter! Ici! Hey, Lad!

- Pardon, monsieur. I will get you a porter. - Very kind of you. Thanks very much.

I'm very well known here. Portiere, portiere! Ei, portiere!!

- Has she gone, George? - Yes, back to Paris.

Well, I suppose there wasn't much else you could do.

- I say, Tom, you won't say anything, will you? - Good heavens, of course I won't.

Thanks. I rather thought you disapproved.

- So I did. Sheer jealousy. - Well, goodbye, Tom.

George, I'll come over to the hotel tonight and cheer you up.

- No, Tom. - Yes, we could play cards.

- No, Tom. - Tonight, seven o'clock in the bar.

See you there.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

I do wish you'd dine with me at my hotel this evening.

I want you to meet Miss Biggle. She's organizing the secretariat.

She promised me she'd meet me, but unfortunately she hasn't turned up.

Thanks, thanks just the same. The fact is I've got plenty on hand, you know...

Duty and all that kind of thing. So long, old boy...

What a pity, she's so intelligent, I'm sure you'd like her very much.

I'm sure I would.

I can't think why she isn't here. She promised she'd meet me.

Well, so long, Elvin old boy. Nice to have met you...

- Keep your chin up. - Yes, rather.

Ah, Miss Biggle.

Hello, Michael.

Darling, how wonderful to see you after all this time.

Hey, Elvin, I just changed my plans.

Hey, Elvin!

- Arivederci, ispettore. - Arivederci e mille grazie.

Well, what's the verdict?

The Italian police are satisfied the murdered man

- ...and the murderer are accounted for. - And I am free?

Unless the Sûreté charges you as an accessory.

Then I'm still a prisoner.

Yes. We must both go back to Paris by the next train.

In the meantime, would you like to join me in a glass of wine?

Subtitles: Luís Filipe Bernardes