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1
00:00:02,532 --> 00:00:06,798
Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:06,870 --> 00:00:10,806
Traveled down the road and back again
3
00:00:10,874 --> 00:00:12,364
Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,442 --> 00:00:17,209
You're a pal and a confidant
5
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,273
And if you threw a party
6
00:00:21,351 --> 00:00:25,617
Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,689 --> 00:00:27,418
You would see
8
00:00:27,490 --> 00:00:30,084
The biggest gift would be from me
9
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,025
And the card attached would say
10
00:00:32,095 --> 00:00:36,088
Thank you for being a friend
11
00:00:55,252 --> 00:00:57,243
[door closes]
12
00:00:58,688 --> 00:01:00,986
Hi, Blanche.
13
00:01:01,925 --> 00:01:03,153
What's the matter?
14
00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:05,456
You know that attorney
I've been dating?
15
00:01:05,528 --> 00:01:09,396
I caught him handling melons at the A&P.
16
00:01:09,466 --> 00:01:11,866
And I take it they weren't yours?
17
00:01:14,571 --> 00:01:17,631
You missed my point, Dorothy.
He told me he was a lawyer.
18
00:01:17,707 --> 00:01:20,733
Turns out he's a fruit waxer.
19
00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:24,370
Why do men have to
put up false pretenses?
20
00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:28,178
This from a woman who wears more
padding on her chest than Johnny Bench.
21
00:01:29,753 --> 00:01:33,189
Good morning. I can't take
time for breakfast, I'm late.
22
00:01:33,256 --> 00:01:36,919
[chuckling] Rose,
aren't you forgetting something?
23
00:01:36,993 --> 00:01:38,585
Oh.
24
00:01:39,829 --> 00:01:41,558
Sorry, Mama.
25
00:01:41,631 --> 00:01:44,828
Rose, it's me Dorothy.
26
00:01:44,901 --> 00:01:45,993
Oh.
27
00:01:46,069 --> 00:01:48,196
Did you not sleep again last night?
28
00:01:48,271 --> 00:01:50,967
No, and it's been
three nights in a row.
29
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:53,635
Have you tried drinking
warm milk before going to bed?
30
00:01:53,710 --> 00:01:55,837
No, I can't drink warm milk.
31
00:01:55,912 --> 00:01:57,880
It reminds me of the time
Cousin Enoch
32
00:01:57,948 --> 00:02:01,406
fell into the vat of milk at the dairy.
33
00:02:01,484 --> 00:02:03,611
Goodness. Was he hurt?
34
00:02:03,687 --> 00:02:04,915
Oh, no.
35
00:02:04,988 --> 00:02:10,756
In fact, it began the annual tradition
of the St. Olaf milk diving tournament.
36
00:02:10,827 --> 00:02:14,695
I won three times
in the low fat division.
37
00:02:14,764 --> 00:02:16,823
Eventually they discontinued the event
38
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:19,892
when several spectators
were caught dipping
39
00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:23,428
their Oreo cookies
in their winter swim trunks.
40
00:02:24,341 --> 00:02:25,330
[doorbell]
41
00:02:25,408 --> 00:02:27,433
[all] I'll get it.
42
00:02:28,979 --> 00:02:31,277
Why don't you just
take a sleeping pill?
43
00:02:31,348 --> 00:02:33,043
I don't like to take pills.
44
00:02:33,116 --> 00:02:36,017
I get slap happy and say silly things.
45
00:02:36,086 --> 00:02:38,953
Well, we certainly
wouldn't want that to happen.
46
00:02:40,623 --> 00:02:43,820
- Hi, it's me Stan.
- What do you want?
47
00:02:45,395 --> 00:02:47,226
I have a surprise for Dorothy.
48
00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:51,666
What? Now that you're off the blood
pressure medicine it's working again?
49
00:02:53,837 --> 00:02:57,864
My God, Sophia. Is there anything
Dorothy didn't tell you about us?
50
00:02:57,941 --> 00:03:00,136
Actually, yes.
I didn't know she was pregnant
51
00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:02,178
until four days after the wedding.
52
00:03:03,646 --> 00:03:06,342
Hi, Sophia. Remember me,
Stan's brother Ted?
53
00:03:06,416 --> 00:03:08,407
I danced with you at their wedding.
54
00:03:08,485 --> 00:03:10,316
Where were you when they divorced?
55
00:03:10,387 --> 00:03:13,220
I was looking
for someone to dance with then.
56
00:03:13,289 --> 00:03:16,622
Ted, what a surprise!
57
00:03:16,693 --> 00:03:18,354
It's great to see you again.
58
00:03:18,428 --> 00:03:22,091
- What about me, babe?
- Go hug a landmine.
59
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,862
Blanche, Rose,
this is my little brother Ted.
60
00:03:26,936 --> 00:03:28,233
Charmed I'm sure.
61
00:03:28,304 --> 00:03:30,738
Oh, there's my new Vanity Fair.
62
00:03:30,807 --> 00:03:32,775
He just flew in from Minneapolis.
63
00:03:32,842 --> 00:03:34,332
Minneapolis, Minnesota?
64
00:03:34,411 --> 00:03:37,608
No, Rose, Minneapolis, France.
65
00:03:38,448 --> 00:03:41,417
- Oh, I'm from Minnesota.
- I'm from Minnesota, too.
66
00:03:41,484 --> 00:03:44,044
Then you just moved to France?
67
00:03:45,755 --> 00:03:48,155
Welcome to my life.
68
00:03:48,224 --> 00:03:50,852
It's nice meeting you, Ted,
but I have to go to work.
69
00:03:50,927 --> 00:03:52,258
What do you do?
70
00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:54,694
She's Gary Hart's campaign manager.
71
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:05,300
It doesn't pay much but you don't
have to get out of bed to do it.
72
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,176
Right, I'd better change.
73
00:04:13,249 --> 00:04:15,877
So, Ted, what brings you to Miami?
74
00:04:15,952 --> 00:04:17,180
I'll grab any chance I can
75
00:04:17,253 --> 00:04:19,585
to spend time with the
greatest guy in the world.
76
00:04:19,656 --> 00:04:21,988
[chuckling] My kid brother
still looks up to me.
77
00:04:22,058 --> 00:04:23,320
As well he should.
78
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:26,726
After all, Ted is just a doctor
and a pillar of his community.
79
00:04:26,796 --> 00:04:31,893
While, on the other hand, you were
the king of padded toilet seats.
80
00:04:31,968 --> 00:04:33,833
Hey, they sold real well for a while.
81
00:04:33,903 --> 00:04:36,064
Even put our daughter through college.
82
00:04:36,139 --> 00:04:38,801
They got me through
some tough times, too.
83
00:04:47,517 --> 00:04:50,918
So, uh, Ted, did I hear someone
say you were a doctor?
84
00:04:50,987 --> 00:04:52,420
He's not just a doctor.
85
00:04:52,489 --> 00:04:55,583
He happens to be one of the top
neurosurgeons in the midwest.
86
00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:57,922
- Get out of here.
- He's also into real estate.
87
00:04:57,994 --> 00:05:01,191
No, it's nothing much really.
I just own a few mini-malls.
88
00:05:01,264 --> 00:05:03,926
Oh, your wife must be
very proud of you.
89
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,524
Actually, we're divorced.
90
00:05:05,602 --> 00:05:09,368
Oh, I'm terribly, terribly sorry.
91
00:05:20,283 --> 00:05:22,979
Love your shirt.
92
00:05:23,052 --> 00:05:26,044
Nice segueway, Blanche.
93
00:05:26,122 --> 00:05:28,454
You know, I've never met
a neurosurgeon before.
94
00:05:28,525 --> 00:05:30,516
I would love to hear
more about your work.
95
00:05:30,593 --> 00:05:32,322
How about 8:00 tonight?
96
00:05:32,395 --> 00:05:35,660
That sounds good but I think
Stan might have something planned.
97
00:05:35,732 --> 00:05:38,292
I did have ringside seats
at the mud wrestling palace
98
00:05:38,368 --> 00:05:41,132
but, hey, a bird in the hand
is worth two in the bush.
99
00:05:41,204 --> 00:05:44,435
Elegantly put, Stan.
100
00:05:44,507 --> 00:05:45,701
Well, I guess we're on.
101
00:05:45,775 --> 00:05:47,367
We better get going, Ted.
102
00:05:47,443 --> 00:05:49,638
We want to get a parking
space at the nude beach
103
00:05:49,712 --> 00:05:52,579
before those perverts show up.
104
00:05:52,649 --> 00:05:55,618
- See you tonight, doctor.
- Uh-huh.
105
00:05:57,487 --> 00:06:00,422
Well, that was pretty embarrassing.
106
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,889
I know, but what could I do?
107
00:06:01,958 --> 00:06:05,325
He just practically threw himself at me.
108
00:06:12,635 --> 00:06:14,000
Well, goodnight, Blanche.
109
00:06:14,070 --> 00:06:16,630
What's your hurry.
Come in for a nightcap.
110
00:06:16,706 --> 00:06:19,869
- I don't want to put you out.
- I like to put out.
111
00:06:26,216 --> 00:06:28,548
I mean, it's no trouble.
112
00:06:32,822 --> 00:06:36,258
You know, being a doctor
it must be deeply fulfilling
113
00:06:36,326 --> 00:06:38,658
to be able to lay your hands on someone
114
00:06:38,728 --> 00:06:42,357
and bring them back to full,
pulsating vitality.
115
00:06:42,432 --> 00:06:44,798
I've always believed
that the body cures itself.
116
00:06:44,867 --> 00:06:46,596
We doctors just help it along.
117
00:06:46,669 --> 00:06:49,365
Actually, I'm starting
to feel a little hot.
118
00:06:49,439 --> 00:06:51,737
What do you suppose
could be causing that?
119
00:06:51,808 --> 00:06:54,276
Have you checked your thermostat?
120
00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:57,145
Why don't you check it for me.
121
00:06:57,213 --> 00:06:59,147
Okay, where is it?
122
00:06:59,215 --> 00:07:03,481
You spent nine years in med school.
Find it yourself.
123
00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:06,982
Hi, Blanche. Hi, Ted.
124
00:07:07,056 --> 00:07:10,355
- How was your date?
- It's not over yet.
125
00:07:12,729 --> 00:07:16,028
- What are you doing up?
- I still can't sleep.
126
00:07:16,099 --> 00:07:18,090
I don't want to seem
insensitive, Rose,
127
00:07:18,167 --> 00:07:21,568
but that's your problem. Get out.
128
00:07:22,739 --> 00:07:26,607
Blanche, that does seem
a little insensitive.
129
00:07:28,144 --> 00:07:30,806
No, it's not. You're just tired.
130
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:35,715
- Oh, okay. I'm sorry I interrupted.
- That's okay. I better be going.
131
00:07:35,785 --> 00:07:40,518
No, now you stay right where you are.
Now, Rose, go to bed.
132
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:43,218
- I can't sleep.
- Try counting sheep.
133
00:07:43,293 --> 00:07:47,161
I can't count sheep,
I'm allergic to wool.
134
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:50,097
I got to 23 and I broke out in hives.
135
00:07:50,166 --> 00:07:53,602
That's when I started counting
the members of the Jackson family.
136
00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:56,571
Michael, Janet, LaToya, Tito...
137
00:07:56,639 --> 00:07:58,630
- Rose!
- Then there's Stonewall Jackson
138
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:02,474
but I don't remember him
on the Victory Tour.
139
00:08:02,545 --> 00:08:05,207
Blanche, I'd better be going now.
140
00:08:05,281 --> 00:08:06,612
All right, but before you do
141
00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:10,449
I just want to thank you
for a lovely evening.
142
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,784
I guess he bought dinner.
143
00:08:15,191 --> 00:08:16,283
Sophia.
144
00:08:16,359 --> 00:08:19,021
Don't mind me.
The best of Carson's coming on.
145
00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:21,029
- In here?
- No, Blanche, in Hollywood,
146
00:08:21,097 --> 00:08:24,328
but they pipe it through these
little wires and it comes out here.
147
00:08:25,802 --> 00:08:28,794
I really have to say good night now.
148
00:08:30,039 --> 00:08:31,404
Thanks for everything.
149
00:08:31,474 --> 00:08:33,908
Why? You didn't get everything.
150
00:08:39,982 --> 00:08:41,643
- Hi, Ted.
- Hi, Dorothy.
151
00:08:41,718 --> 00:08:43,379
How was your date with Blanche?
152
00:08:43,453 --> 00:08:45,421
I don't know.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned
153
00:08:45,488 --> 00:08:48,457
but when I was dating, the man
used to make all the moves.
154
00:08:48,524 --> 00:08:50,287
How many men have you dated?
155
00:08:52,462 --> 00:08:55,829
No, I know what you meant and
I don't think that's old-fashioned.
156
00:08:55,898 --> 00:08:57,456
I think it's kind of nice.
157
00:08:57,533 --> 00:09:00,900
- How did you spend your evening?
- Parent-teacher meetings.
158
00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:04,838
Five hours of saying things like,
"Well, your little Betty is a joy
159
00:09:04,907 --> 00:09:07,034
but she's going to have to
trim her mohawk
160
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:10,807
if wants to play Mary
in the Christmas play."
161
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,144
Sounds like you need to unwind.
162
00:09:13,216 --> 00:09:14,808
I think I need to retire.
163
00:09:14,884 --> 00:09:18,285
Look, I know it's late
but could we go for a drink?
164
00:09:18,354 --> 00:09:22,222
Sure, yeah, I'll settle for that.
165
00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:31,491
Four nights in a row
and I still can't sleep.
166
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:35,003
Please, I haven't had a decent
nights sleep since I was 70.
167
00:09:35,338 --> 00:09:37,806
I shouldn't complain.
I mean, four nights is nothing
168
00:09:37,874 --> 00:09:41,867
compared to Elsa Yuderruden
back in St. Olaf.
169
00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:47,540
She stayed awake for 17 straight days
in a rocking chair marathon.
170
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:49,949
She couldn't have done
it without moral support
171
00:09:50,019 --> 00:09:51,953
of her children and her husband.
172
00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:54,546
And his cattle prod.
173
00:09:55,558 --> 00:09:57,253
Okay, that's it.
174
00:09:57,326 --> 00:10:00,159
Drink this. It's a secret potion
from the old country
175
00:10:00,229 --> 00:10:01,958
guaranteed to put you to sleep.
176
00:10:02,031 --> 00:10:03,555
Looks like milk.
177
00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:04,930
Trust me, Rose.
178
00:10:05,001 --> 00:10:07,333
Drink it, slowly.
179
00:10:07,403 --> 00:10:10,236
That's right, down the hatch.
180
00:10:11,407 --> 00:10:12,897
We call this...
181
00:10:12,975 --> 00:10:14,602
...Sicilian Sominex.
182
00:10:16,179 --> 00:10:18,340
Now, you might feel a slight tingling.
183
00:10:18,414 --> 00:10:22,874
But, believe me,
you'll sleep like a baby.
184
00:10:25,154 --> 00:10:28,180
I don't feel any tingling,
when's it gonna hit me?
185
00:10:28,257 --> 00:10:30,020
Sophia!
186
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:38,732
What are you doing?
187
00:10:38,801 --> 00:10:42,601
I was making a souffl�
and it got away from me.
188
00:10:46,409 --> 00:10:47,774
Morning, ladies.
189
00:10:47,844 --> 00:10:51,211
The way you leave that back door
open, any idiot could walk in.
190
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,975
Any idiot did.
191
00:10:54,250 --> 00:10:58,584
So, Blanche,
va-va-va-voom, huh?
192
00:10:58,654 --> 00:10:59,882
What?
193
00:10:59,956 --> 00:11:04,586
Last night, with Ted.
Cha, cha, cha. Tango, tango, ol�.
194
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:08,391
Nobody here speaks Spanish, Stan.
195
00:11:08,464 --> 00:11:12,628
- Stan, what are you talking about?
- I get it. Play dumb. I can play dumb.
196
00:11:12,702 --> 00:11:15,227
Play, you could manage the team.
197
00:11:17,707 --> 00:11:20,437
Just tell me where Ted is.
Is he still asleep?
198
00:11:20,510 --> 00:11:22,137
Stan, it's not what you think.
199
00:11:22,211 --> 00:11:25,078
Hey, I read you, babe.
Mum's the word.
200
00:11:25,147 --> 00:11:27,012
He's in the shower, right?
201
00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:29,313
Yo, Ted!
202
00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:33,415
Stanley, your brother isn't here.
203
00:11:33,489 --> 00:11:34,820
Where is he?
204
00:11:34,891 --> 00:11:37,621
Well, how should I know? He
left last night around 11:30.
205
00:11:37,693 --> 00:11:40,958
- That doesn't make sense.
- You're telling me.
206
00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,455
Well, this is strange.
207
00:11:43,533 --> 00:11:47,162
He didn't call, he didn't come
home. It's not like Ted.
208
00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:49,602
I've gotta go find him.
Could've gotten mugged.
209
00:11:49,672 --> 00:11:53,164
He could be lying out in a gutter,
bleeding to death.
210
00:11:58,681 --> 00:12:00,876
It's worse than I thought.
211
00:12:11,594 --> 00:12:13,994
What the hell are you
doing with my brother?
212
00:12:14,063 --> 00:12:18,466
Calm down, Stanley.
It's just a routine search.
213
00:12:19,168 --> 00:12:22,331
I can't believe you're so
desperate you'd stoop to this.
214
00:12:22,405 --> 00:12:25,306
- You can't talk to me that way.
- I was talking to Ted!
215
00:12:26,842 --> 00:12:29,572
- Let's go!
- Look, Stan. I'm not a child.
216
00:12:29,645 --> 00:12:32,113
- I'll go when I'm ready.
- Good for you, Ted.
217
00:12:33,416 --> 00:12:35,316
- Okay, I'm ready.
- All right.
218
00:12:36,385 --> 00:12:38,979
I'll call you later.
219
00:12:41,257 --> 00:12:43,122
I can't believe what just happened.
220
00:12:43,192 --> 00:12:45,592
I think you owe me an explanation.
221
00:12:45,661 --> 00:12:47,356
Well, Ted and I...
222
00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:51,093
I don't have to stand here
and listen to this.
223
00:12:53,569 --> 00:12:56,037
- Ma, don't give me that look.
- What look?
224
00:12:56,105 --> 00:13:00,041
I didn't do anything wrong.
Ted and I just talked last night.
225
00:13:00,109 --> 00:13:04,512
Right, and the Godfather made
all his money selling olive oil.
226
00:13:08,217 --> 00:13:12,586
Blanche, if I thought for a
second that there was anything
227
00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:15,283
between you and Ted, I never
would have done what I did.
228
00:13:15,358 --> 00:13:17,952
What did you do, Dorothy?
229
00:13:18,027 --> 00:13:20,723
She spent the night with Ted.
230
00:13:20,796 --> 00:13:22,388
But Ted was your date, Blanche.
231
00:13:22,465 --> 00:13:25,263
Dorothy, you must have slept
with somebody else.
232
00:13:29,405 --> 00:13:32,306
Blanche, I didn't steal your date.
233
00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:35,640
Ted told me that you had
absolutely nothing in common.
234
00:13:35,711 --> 00:13:37,008
Well, obviously.
235
00:13:37,079 --> 00:13:41,516
He's dull, boring and has
dubious taste, to say the least.
236
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:45,853
If that is some schoolgirl
attempt to get my goat
237
00:13:45,921 --> 00:13:47,388
you're wasting your breath.
238
00:13:47,456 --> 00:13:51,222
I'm simply questioning how any man
could possibly choose you over me.
239
00:13:52,294 --> 00:13:54,194
It's not working, Blanche.
240
00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:56,891
I suppose there could
be some exceptions.
241
00:13:56,966 --> 00:14:01,300
Convicts who haven't seen
a woman in 25 years...
242
00:14:02,405 --> 00:14:05,397
It's still not working, you bimbo.
243
00:14:08,511 --> 00:14:12,709
How childish to resort
to name calling, you Jezebel.
244
00:14:13,949 --> 00:14:15,610
- Floozy.
- Tramp.
245
00:14:16,419 --> 00:14:19,286
[laughing] I? I am a tramp?
246
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:21,949
Blanche, have you heard the
latest ad campaigns?
247
00:14:22,024 --> 00:14:25,482
Join the Navy, see the world,
sleep with Blanche Devereaux?
248
00:14:28,631 --> 00:14:33,864
Join the Army, be all you can be,
sleep with Blanche Devereaux?
249
00:14:33,936 --> 00:14:36,336
The Marines are looking
for a few good men
250
00:14:36,405 --> 00:14:39,203
who have not slept
with Blanche Devereaux.
251
00:14:46,582 --> 00:14:50,382
Just what are you trying to imply?
252
00:14:51,654 --> 00:14:53,679
- Slut!
- Trash!
253
00:14:53,756 --> 00:14:55,314
Now, girls, settle down
254
00:14:55,391 --> 00:14:58,792
before you says something
you'll both regret.
255
00:15:02,398 --> 00:15:06,266
Know what her problem is? She
cannot stand to see anyone else happy.
256
00:15:06,335 --> 00:15:08,565
Calm down, Dorothy.
I'll brew you some tea.
257
00:15:08,637 --> 00:15:11,800
- I don't want any tea.
- But this is a special blend.
258
00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:14,536
It's very soothing.
259
00:15:15,578 --> 00:15:19,708
- Have you been drinking much of this?
- Only at night when I can't sleep.
260
00:15:19,782 --> 00:15:22,546
This is loaded with caffeine.
261
00:15:22,618 --> 00:15:25,849
But we need caffeine,
especially women our age.
262
00:15:25,921 --> 00:15:30,051
Or our bones will get brittle
and we'll walk all stooped over.
263
00:15:32,795 --> 00:15:36,925
That's calcium, Rose.
Calcium, not caffeine.
264
00:15:37,466 --> 00:15:39,798
This is what has been
keeping you awake.
265
00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:42,303
You mean, if I stop
drinking that, I can sleep?
266
00:15:42,371 --> 00:15:44,805
You may even blink again.
267
00:15:45,608 --> 00:15:47,701
I've gotta get to
the counseling center.
268
00:15:47,777 --> 00:15:49,938
Honey, come on, take the day off.
Call them.
269
00:15:50,012 --> 00:15:51,502
But those people need me.
270
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:54,048
What good can you
possibly be to them?
271
00:15:54,116 --> 00:15:57,244
Well, I'll be there,
I'll smile, I'll nod.
272
00:15:57,319 --> 00:16:01,847
Fortunately, a lot of them hear voices.
I'll just tell them one of them is mine.
273
00:16:05,027 --> 00:16:06,654
[slow music plays]
274
00:16:10,599 --> 00:16:12,692
- Having a nice time, Dorothy?
- Wonderful.
275
00:16:12,768 --> 00:16:15,498
Me too. This reminds me
of when we were kids,
276
00:16:15,571 --> 00:16:18,438
and you and Stan double dated
with me and Lois Bernbaum.
277
00:16:18,507 --> 00:16:21,340
Yeah, we went to Roseland,
and you and I did the jitterbug.
278
00:16:21,410 --> 00:16:23,435
And afterwards,
to Louie's for a malt?
279
00:16:23,512 --> 00:16:28,643
That's when Stan did his walrus
imitation, with the straws up his nose.
280
00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:33,677
- Sure have come a long way since then.
- Yeah. Now Stan uses breadsticks.
281
00:16:36,091 --> 00:16:38,184
I had quite a crush on you.
282
00:16:38,260 --> 00:16:40,057
- You did?
- Sure did.
283
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,757
And that's why I'm glad
we're here together tonight.
284
00:16:42,832 --> 00:16:45,926
I know it may seem sudden
but there is something very important
285
00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:48,299
- I wanna ask you.
- Anything, Ted.
286
00:16:48,370 --> 00:16:50,895
- Uh, may I cut in?
- Oh, hell.
287
00:16:50,973 --> 00:16:53,703
Hey, Stan, it's good to see you.
What a coincidence, huh?
288
00:16:53,776 --> 00:16:55,300
Look, I'll be back at the table.
289
00:16:55,377 --> 00:16:56,708
- But...
- No, it's okay.
290
00:16:56,779 --> 00:17:00,738
Hey, we got all night.
You two enjoy, huh?
291
00:17:00,816 --> 00:17:03,080
[host] Gatling, party of two.
292
00:17:08,123 --> 00:17:11,957
Dorothy, you're not moving. It
reminds me of our wedding night.
293
00:17:13,195 --> 00:17:15,322
Stanley, I don't wanna dance with you.
294
00:17:15,397 --> 00:17:17,957
Dorothy, please.
This is really important.
295
00:17:18,033 --> 00:17:21,469
Today, Ted called the airline and
booked two seats for Acapulco.
296
00:17:21,537 --> 00:17:24,938
- What does that mean to you?
- He doesn't have a travel agent.
297
00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:28,067
No, you don't understand.
The last time he went to Acapulco,
298
00:17:28,143 --> 00:17:29,770
- he got married.
- So?
299
00:17:29,845 --> 00:17:33,872
Last time I went to Coney Island,
I got pregnant. What's your point?
300
00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:35,883
He made reservations
at the same hotel.
301
00:17:35,951 --> 00:17:39,284
He's wearing my most expensive
aftershave, don't you see?
302
00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:41,289
He's gonna pop the question.
303
00:17:41,357 --> 00:17:44,190
You're being ridiculous.
You're jumping to conclusions.
304
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,286
Besides, it's none of your
business anyway. Good night.
305
00:17:48,898 --> 00:17:50,832
[host] Shafter, party of three.
306
00:17:50,966 --> 00:17:55,699
- Ted, I told Dorothy about Acapulco.
- You heard me make the reservations?
307
00:17:55,771 --> 00:17:57,898
Yes, and I think it's
a terrible mistake.
308
00:17:57,973 --> 00:18:00,237
You mean, it's true?
309
00:18:01,143 --> 00:18:03,168
Well, yes.
310
00:18:04,413 --> 00:18:06,813
I don't know what to say.
311
00:18:06,882 --> 00:18:08,577
I hope you'll say yes.
312
00:18:08,651 --> 00:18:11,745
Ted, I think there's something
you should know about Dorothy.
313
00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:14,414
She snores like a freight train.
314
00:18:14,957 --> 00:18:17,482
Who cares, she's still a great gal.
315
00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:20,050
Hey, guy, you're a wealthy doctor,
316
00:18:20,129 --> 00:18:22,859
you could have gorgeous women
crawling at your feet.
317
00:18:22,932 --> 00:18:24,763
Why waste your time with Dorothy?
318
00:18:25,668 --> 00:18:29,195
- I think you're a little out of line.
- I'm not knocking Dorothy.
319
00:18:29,271 --> 00:18:31,933
What would you call this, a testimonial?
320
00:18:33,609 --> 00:18:36,203
Okay, okay.
I'm gonna have to be blunt.
321
00:18:36,278 --> 00:18:39,076
Ted, all your life,
you've looked up to me,
322
00:18:39,148 --> 00:18:41,241
and you've envied me
for everything I have.
323
00:18:41,317 --> 00:18:44,753
- That's why you wanna marry Dorothy.
- Marry Dorothy?
324
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:46,378
What are you talking about?
325
00:18:46,455 --> 00:18:49,322
Come on, Acapulco,
the El President�,
326
00:18:49,391 --> 00:18:50,983
you're planning something big.
327
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:55,326
Well, yeah. I met this great
looking stewardess on the flight
328
00:18:55,397 --> 00:18:58,059
and I asked her to go to
Acapulco and she could only go
329
00:18:58,133 --> 00:19:01,227
if I found a sitter for her two kids.
330
00:19:01,303 --> 00:19:04,272
Hey, I'd really appreciate it.
331
00:19:08,544 --> 00:19:10,341
Come again.
332
00:19:10,412 --> 00:19:12,141
They are great kids.
333
00:19:12,214 --> 00:19:15,183
One of them plays with matches,
but you don't smoke, do you?
334
00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:18,751
Teddy, you old stud.
335
00:19:18,821 --> 00:19:20,118
Hey, hey, hey.
336
00:19:20,189 --> 00:19:22,453
I mean, you hang around the
master long enough,
337
00:19:22,524 --> 00:19:25,186
you're gonna pick up a few tricks.
338
00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:27,023
Listen, uh...
339
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:30,224
Ted, I hate to interrupt...
340
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:35,828
What was all that sweet talk
about your having a crush on me?
341
00:19:35,904 --> 00:19:39,431
Well, I mean, I did,
but that was a long time ago.
342
00:19:39,508 --> 00:19:41,032
Yeah, but...
343
00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:43,544
What about last night?
344
00:19:43,612 --> 00:19:48,345
Well, I'll always remember last night
as a very special evening.
345
00:19:48,817 --> 00:19:49,977
It was.
346
00:19:50,052 --> 00:19:52,043
It was a very special evening.
347
00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:53,782
And that's why...
348
00:19:53,856 --> 00:19:57,917
...I'm going to keep
that deep dark secret
349
00:19:57,993 --> 00:20:01,986
about yourself that you told me
strictly between the two of us.
350
00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:04,999
Uh, thank you, I appreciate it.
351
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:07,092
Don't mention it.
352
00:20:07,169 --> 00:20:09,933
Good night, Ted. And goodbye.
353
00:20:10,005 --> 00:20:11,734
Goodbye.
354
00:20:13,709 --> 00:20:15,609
[host] Collins, party of two, please.
355
00:20:15,677 --> 00:20:17,804
Oh, uh, may I
borrow this for a minute?
356
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,075
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
357
00:20:20,149 --> 00:20:22,811
[Dorothy] may I have your attention,
please.
358
00:20:22,885 --> 00:20:27,549
The gentleman at table five
in the blue suit is impotent.
359
00:20:27,623 --> 00:20:29,181
Bon appetit.
360
00:20:50,112 --> 00:20:51,579
Rose.
361
00:20:51,647 --> 00:20:54,047
Awww.
362
00:20:54,116 --> 00:20:56,311
Oh, Rose.
363
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:59,650
Honey, did you finally get to sleep?
364
00:21:02,091 --> 00:21:04,252
Wake up, I have
to talk to someone.
365
00:21:04,326 --> 00:21:06,487
Oh, not now, I wanna sleep.
366
00:21:06,562 --> 00:21:09,292
Rose, listen,
Dorothy's so upset with me,
367
00:21:09,364 --> 00:21:11,798
and I don't blame her after
all those things I said.
368
00:21:11,867 --> 00:21:13,494
- Mmm.
- You know, I just don't see
369
00:21:13,569 --> 00:21:16,003
how I'll ever face her again.
370
00:21:16,071 --> 00:21:18,266
Rose, listen. Listen.
371
00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:19,807
Am I a terrible person?
372
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:22,503
I don't know. Who are you?
373
00:21:23,579 --> 00:21:25,069
It's me, Blanche.
374
00:21:25,147 --> 00:21:28,674
Oh, Blanche.
You're not a terrible person.
375
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:31,446
You're just horny all the time.
376
00:21:36,091 --> 00:21:38,116
[knocking on door]
377
00:21:38,193 --> 00:21:40,684
- Rose, it's Dorothy.
- Oh, gosh.
378
00:21:40,762 --> 00:21:42,696
I can't talk to her, not now.
379
00:21:42,764 --> 00:21:44,231
Oh!
380
00:21:50,239 --> 00:21:52,730
Rose, honey.
381
00:21:52,808 --> 00:21:54,799
- Are you awake?
- I don't know.
382
00:21:54,877 --> 00:21:56,742
Oh, that's good enough.
383
00:21:56,812 --> 00:21:59,178
I need to talk to someone.
384
00:21:59,248 --> 00:22:01,614
Rose, it's been a terrible night.
385
00:22:01,683 --> 00:22:05,483
Ted turned out to be as big
a jerk as Blanche said he was.
386
00:22:05,554 --> 00:22:08,182
- Ted who?
- Never mind.
387
00:22:08,257 --> 00:22:11,522
How did I let myself get involved?
388
00:22:11,593 --> 00:22:16,053
How could I allow a man to come
between me and my best friend.
389
00:22:16,131 --> 00:22:17,894
Blanche is never gonna forgive me.
390
00:22:17,966 --> 00:22:19,456
I forgive you.
391
00:22:19,535 --> 00:22:20,968
Where did you come from?
392
00:22:21,036 --> 00:22:24,597
- I was hiding behind the drapes.
- What is this, Hamlet?
393
00:22:27,576 --> 00:22:31,137
I just didn't want to face you
after all those things I said.
394
00:22:31,213 --> 00:22:34,011
- Honey, honey, I understand.
- Well...
395
00:22:34,082 --> 00:22:36,915
I understand why you were so upset.
396
00:22:36,985 --> 00:22:39,180
I'm not really sure you do, Dorothy.
397
00:22:39,254 --> 00:22:41,119
You see...
398
00:22:41,190 --> 00:22:44,216
...I threw myself at Ted
and he just tossed me aside
399
00:22:44,293 --> 00:22:46,488
like a ratty old pair of sweat socks.
400
00:22:46,562 --> 00:22:48,291
Well, I'm not like you, Dorothy.
401
00:22:48,363 --> 00:22:50,593
I'm not used to
that kind of humiliation.
402
00:22:55,604 --> 00:22:59,700
I've never told anyone this before,
but I have a fragile ego.
403
00:22:59,775 --> 00:23:02,175
It'll be our little secret.
404
00:23:06,281 --> 00:23:07,441
Rose?
405
00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:10,417
Don't worry.
I found something to put you to sleep.
406
00:23:10,485 --> 00:23:11,850
She's asleep already.
407
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:16,289
What? After I spent all day making
her this Sicilian sleeping potion?
408
00:23:16,358 --> 00:23:18,292
Oh, Ma, come on.
409
00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,988
Hey, this saved my
Uncle Giuseppe's life.
410
00:23:21,063 --> 00:23:23,497
One swig and he slept
through the Allied invasion.
411
00:23:24,499 --> 00:23:26,592
Ma, that's ridiculous.
412
00:23:26,668 --> 00:23:28,499
Here, take a sip.
413
00:23:39,314 --> 00:23:41,839
Wow, this stuff really works.
414
00:23:41,917 --> 00:23:44,317
I've gotta remember
what I put in this.
415
00:23:45,687 --> 00:23:48,315
Takes so little to make her happy.
416
00:23:54,730 --> 00:23:57,358
- Good night, Blanche.
- Good night, Dorothy.
417
00:23:57,432 --> 00:23:59,866
Rose, good...
418
00:24:02,004 --> 00:24:03,904
Dorothy?
419
00:24:03,972 --> 00:24:06,133
Dorothy?
32484
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