Original subtitles

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- I hate when people use the word condolences.

- I hate it when people tell me that I'm in their prayers.

- In the beginning everyone wants to send you flowers

and then they stop calling because they're over it

and they expect you to be over it.

- These last few months everything

has been stressful, but I handled it.

- It really screwed me up too when my husband died.

- That's not what I was saying.

- That's exactly what you were saying.

That my husband being dead is making it harder

for you to stay sober.

- You know, you can get another husband.

I can't just get another brother.

- This is why I still don't wanna hang out with you.

- I went to your apartment and I stood outside the door,

but I can't go for you.

You have to show up for yourself.

How you feel about it doesn't matter.

What matters is that you do it.

[cheerful music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa.

I love it. - Oh ho.

- Oh, my God.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it.

Okay, so my couch

would go perfectly here and then my mom's

gonna get rid of, like, one of her couches

and that, that could actually go here.

- Yeah, what about my couch? - You don't have a couch.

You have a futon. - I love my futon.

- Well, so will the fraternity that we donate it to.

- Aw, this mantle is freaking rad.

I can put a rotating display of my figures here.

- Okay, well, if you're serious about this apartment

you can glue your toys to the ceiling

so that they're fighting each other in space.

- Yeah, I wouldn't use glue. I would use Sticky Tack.

You know-- - Okay, so you're in?

- Of course. - So you're in.

- I'm in. - So this is our apartment.

- This is our apartment. both: This is our home.

- This is where we're supposed to live.

This is where we're supposed to live.

[laughter] - I like this, yeah!

[laughter]

[nostalgic music]

♪ ♪

- Ooh. [laughs]

- Yes, you could have.

- You're being irrational. - I'm not being irrational.

You're completely-- - Are you kidding?

- Yeah, you are so--

- What, what are you talking about?

- Oh, my God. - Fine! Fine!

[dog barks] - Oh, no.

Oh hey. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.

Come here. Come here. Come here. Good girl.

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

- You know, we can take as long as you need to do this.

If you need a few days we can take a few days.

If you need a few weeks we'll take a few weeks.

- Mom, she can't do this for weeks.

- No, I'm just saying that there's no clock.

You know, when your father moved out--

I'm not saying that that is the same thing as this,

of course, but that took a month.

- That's definitely not the same thing.

Dad moved to an apartment. Matt moved to a casket.

- That's why I said it wasn't the same thing.

- Okay.

How do you want this to happen?

- I... why don't we just put everything in boxes and bags

and...

get it into storage.

- Great. I'll start with the kitchen

So we can stop smelling the trash and the fridge.

I can't tell if we're smelling the trash or the fridge.

- I don't want to fight.

I'm here to help. - But?

You said help like you were going to follow it with a but.

- I don't want you to rush this process

and then regret it later.

Your belongings have meaning and they should be treated

with the respect that they're owed.

- Okay.

So...

why don't you spend a week in this place

respecting the objects because if I do that

I'm going to throw myself out a window.

- Okay.

Why don't we make this as straightforward

as this impossible thing can be?

Divide everything into three piles,

keep, toss, and give away. How does that sound?

- That sounds great.

Ten points for Gryffindor.

- You said I was Slytherin, and it really hurt my feelings.

- Well, you know what? Now I'm re-sorting you.

- [chuckles]

- Oh, my God.

[waves rolling, gulls cawing]

- Are we done with regrets?

[nostalgic music]

♪ ♪

Ready? [laughter]

- Okay. - Ready?

- All right. - Cast out the past!

[cheering]

- Read a book a week.

Learn to sew.

Have advice column go viral.

Run a marathon.

You're gonna do all that this year?

- Well, I am going to try.

What'd you do?

- Leigh, don't read that. Come on.

- What? You're just gonna throw it in a drawer.

I see rocks every time I'm looking for a gas bill.

- Sweetie, please.

- Be a good husband, brother,

son, friend, teacher.

- I'm gonna cry. That's so nice.

- It is nice, but you already are all those things.

You have to think of actual aspirations

for your vision rock, or else the solstice magic

will not work. - [laughs]

- The solstice magic definitely will not work

if you insist on making fun of it.

- Okay, pick a country that you want to go to,

write it on the rock, and then go there.

If you can't think of a country do Iceland.

- You know, I believe that we are all

the ages that we've ever been. - Mm-hmm.

- So whenever I have

a question that I don't know the answer to

I ask my inner child-- - [laughs]

- Don't. What? Stop laughing.

- I'm not, it's just. You always say inner child

with this really serious face.

- That is because some of the profoundest truths

of my life have come from asking

the eight-year-old inside of me what she really wants.

So if I were to ask eight-year-old Matt

what he really wanted, what would he say?

- [clears throat]

- No. No. Say what you were gonna say.

- I wanted to make comic books when I was that age.

Yeah, I used to...

draw and write pages for my brother.

And I still draw; I'm okay.

- No, you're not okay, you're amazing.

That's what you should do.

Make that your aspiration.

Create a comic this year.

- Well, I will when you give me back my vision rock first.

- [laughs]

[door knocking]

- Hello?

- Hey. Come in. How are you?

- I'm good. I'm good. - You okay?

- Thanks. - What are you doing here?

- Your mom texted.

She told me I should come get whatever I wanted.

Thanks again. It was really nice of you

to think that I might want some things

that belong to my dead brother.

Really. I mean it. Amy, thanks.

- 'Course.

- I was gonna make you a box.

- Well, I'm here now, so...

make my own box.

- Okay.

- Um...

Where his action figures?

- Why? - I'm gonna sell them on eBay.

- Really.

- What were you going to do with them?

- They're in the hall closet.

- Hmm.

- [sighs]

- Want me to get rid of him? - How?

- Oh yes. Do that. - Okay. [laughs]

- Hey, Leigh. Come here. - What?

- What's this?

Is this a credit card?

- Oh, yeah. That's um...

We--we kept that in the freezer

in case of an emergency.

- What emergency?

- We never had an emergency

that we could fix with the credit card

so we never found out.

- Huh.

- Mom has the kitchen covered.

Do you want me to start in the bedroom?

- No, that's....

I-I just, I want to do that myself.

- Okay. I'll do the bathroom.

- Great, thank you.

- [sighs]

[somber music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- I am obsessed with all of these.

I have no idea what I'm going to read first.

- They won't actually let you be an English teacher

if you suck at getting people books for Christmas.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Okay, you're up.

- [laughs] - [imitates fanfare]

- Okay.

Oh. Whoa.

This is a table for... grading papers.

- It's a drafting table.

- Oh, wow.

Wow, no, this is so, so cool.

- 'Cause you remember at the solstice thing

you said that you wanted to make your comic this year.

So I just--I thought that, um...

it would help if you had, like, a designated space to do it.

- Ah, that is crazy that you remember that.

- Yeah, I take all that inner child stuff seriously.

- [laughs]

- Plus, unlike my mom's

past life regression bullshit,

the inner child thing is actual psychology.

- Well, I hope that past life stuff

is real because your mom said

she and I were Vikings, gladiators, and something else.

Medieval assassins. I mean...

[both chuckle]

- So can I just say one more thing about my gift?

- Oh, yes. Yeah, say it.

- I see how much you love reading comic books.

And your art's so, so, so, so good.

- Jeez. - That I just think of this

as the year where you get to put it all together.

And this is the place

where you get to make something great.

- Thank you.

- Hmm. - No, thank you.

- Yeah? - Yes.

This is, seriously,

the nicest gift

I've ever gotten.

- Baby. - Yeah?

- There's got to be some things you want to keep.

- Oh, I don't know what they are.

- Well...

Think about what makes you happy.

- [laughs] Well, nothing makes me happy.

- Well, I know right now,

but think about a year from now, two years from now.

What are you gonna want to still have?

- I know that you need to control

everything in the universe,

but can you try not to control my feelings right now?

- You've got to stop twisting everything that I say.

I'm trying to help.

- I know that you're trying to help.

That's not what I meant.

- Um...

I'm gonna do a snack run.

Do you want anything?

- Yeah...

anything.

- Do you need a 20?

- Nope, I'm good. I have the last 20 you gave me.

See you in a few.

- She's been great. - [scoffs]

- Like she's been body snatched.

- Be nice. - I am.

The aliens sent, like,

the best pod person to replace Jules.

Don't freak out.

There was Vicodin in the medicine cabinet

from when Matt dislocated his shoulder.

- Was?

- Yeah.

I--

I can't leave Danny in my home alone.

- I got this. - Okay.

Hey.

Are you--

Are you almost done in there?

[soft moaning]

What are you doing? - Yes.

- Oh, you want his boot? - Nah.

Just this.

You didn't know where he kept his stash?

Or you didn't know that he had one?

- Of course I knew. I'm not an idiot.

Real good.

Hey. No. No. No. No. No.

I gave him that.

- Yeah, and he's not going to be needing it anytime soon.

- Get out of there. - Calm down.

I don't care about your vibrator.

Why does he have this?

- It was your dad's.

- Yeah, I know.

- [sighs]

- Give them to me. - Give what to you?

- Don't do this, Jules.

Leigh told me there was Vicodin in the medicine cabinet.

Give them to me.

- I threw them out with the rest

of Matt's bathroom stuff.

Search the trash. It's there.

- Then what are you doing out here?

- [deep breath]

Just seeing his toothbrush and his toothpaste

and the towel he used last.

I don't know.

- You are allowed to feel what you feel.

- No, I'm not actually.

Because she would say that I was being selfish,

and that I was making it about me, so.

- I was so focused on Leigh,

I never thought about how hard this was gonna be

for you or for me.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay.

I keep thinking I'm out of...

This thing, but...

it happened a few months before Matt died.

I had just gotten all my transfer rejection letters

because none of the UCs wanted me.

I went on this huge bender at a warehouse party.

I didn't want to call you or Leigh

'cause I knew you'd yell at me.

- I don't yell. - You yell with your eyes.

- But I-I called Matt to pick me up

and on the way home he said...

"What's it gonna take for you

to get your life together, Jules?"

"Does someone have to get hurt?

Do you have to get hurt?"

And I...

I keep thinking about him dying because...

[sighs]

Because that's what it took.

- Matt was your sister's person

and we do have to be there for her,

but he was our family too.

We're allowed to feel heartbroken.

- [laughs]

I can't believe that you thought

I would choose today to relapse of all days.

- Jesus, today made me want to relapse.

I'm not even an addict. - [laughs]

- Gimme that.

You look disgusting. - I know.

- Blow your nose.

Oh, that's disgusting. You're disgusting.

Blow it again. - [laughs]

- Oh, my God. This takes me back.

- What are you looking for?

- Just, um...

- If you just tell me then I can help you find it

and you can go.

- I want the comic he made.

- No, you can't have that. - Why not?

- Because it's mine.

I-I got him to make it. - That's bullshit.

You don't deserve that comic.

You took something that he loved

and you turned it into a homework assignment.

- I just--I helped him set goals

that he could get what he wanted in life.

- And what was that supposed to be?

See, you think you knew him,

but you really, you really didn't

know him as well as you thought.

- [scoffs]

I don't know what you're trying to get at, but I--

- Okay, what is that?

- What? - That is my shirt.

- The what--this shirt?

- [laughing]

I've been--I've been looking for that shirt for years.

And Matt said he lost it

and he's had it this whole time,

and he just didn't want to give it back.

Damn.

[sighs]

You know what? Keep the comic.

Keep the shirt.

Keep whatever you want.

This is all just stuff.

Just stuff.

[chuckles]

[door creaks]

- [sighs]

[door creaks]

Hey. Hey.

- Oh, man.

Oh, wow.

What are you doing with this?

- Well, I was putting things away

and I just thought it was one of your random sketchbooks.

I-Matt, this is amazing.

- Okay, you weren't-- - It's so good.

- Yeah, no, you weren't supposed to--

no one was supposed to see this.

- Kay, well, there wasn't a padlock on it.

So I did not know that.

Why? What about the part

where I just told you it was amazing?

- Oh, you--you know, you don't really get it.

This...

This was hard enough for me to work on

with no one knowing about it.

If you're always gonna ask me questions

and expect progress updates,

I'm gonna be crushed under this mountain of pressure.

- Well, I'm not going to crush you under anything.

I'm--I'm going to be supportive and excited.

- Yeah, well, for me that's like the same thing.

- Can you not be mad at me?

Hey, I'm just-- I'm proud of you.

You are doing the thing that you said you were going

to do this year.

I didn't-- I didn't run a marathon.

My column never went viral,

but you are doing your comic.

- Okay.

Okay, no, you're right.

Thank you. - Okay.

- I'm glad you like my stuff.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- What are you doing at my apartment?

I told you I didn't want it.

- Yeah, well, you say that now.

Maybe in a couple years you will.

Here.

- [clears throat]

- [sighs]

I think you were right.

I think there was...

A lot about him I didn't know.

- [sighs]

- Did you know why he kept a credit card in the freezer?

- No.

- Okay.

[sighs] Okay.

- So...

Are you gonna give me my shirt back?

- No. No.

I really like this shirt.

- [laughs]

Does it still smell like him?

- Not anymore.

Bye, Danny.

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

[phone buzzes]

["Little Marriage" by Lia Ices]

- ♪ Ooh ooh ♪

♪ ♪

- ♪ A year and a day ♪

♪ Could pass just as quickly ♪

♪ And I don't mind and I don't mind ♪

- I just feel so connected to each and every one of you.

- This Nicholas Sparks widow at Group

put on the most spectacular show

and everyone was obsessed with her.

- Sounds like she's got it figured out.

- You have my number on the roster.

I'm totally around. You know, maybe we could hang out or--

- Sure. I'm pretty late, yeah.

- Okay. Bye.

- Ryan and I are engaged.

- That's fast. - We both realized

that life is short. Why wait?

- Why did you cheat on Mom?

- Sometimes when a person drowns,

they thrash around so much,

they bring down anyone trying to rescue them.