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1
00:00:01,174 --> 00:00:05,179
# I'm not sick but I'm not well
2
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:08,785
# And I'm so hot
3
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# Cos I'm in hell. #
4
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,962
Chipsticks or Frazzles.
5
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Chipsticks or Frazzles.
6
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Chipsticks or Frazzles?
7
00:00:24,770 --> 00:00:25,771
Shall I go on?
8
00:00:25,772 --> 00:00:27,093
Shall I go on?
Argh! >
9
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:29,056
God, it's like a Stasi torture block.
10
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"The foetal head then passes
below the pubic arch.
11
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"At this point, the woman may feel
a burning or stinging sensation."
12
00:00:36,869 --> 00:00:39,713
The phrase "No shit, Sherlock"
comes to mind.
13
00:00:39,714 --> 00:00:42,036
How much more do you want?
What's an episiotomy?
14
00:00:42,037 --> 00:00:43,078
You don't wanna know, mate.
15
00:00:43,079 --> 00:00:43,799
You don't wanna know, mate.
Why?
16
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,805
You don't wanna know, mate.
Why?
Well, you know between your bum
and your genitals, that area?
17
00:00:47,806 --> 00:00:49,528
It's one of my favourite areas.
18
00:00:49,529 --> 00:00:51,811
Yeah, well, imagine someone
snipping it with scissors.
19
00:00:51,812 --> 00:00:53,334
Yeah, well, imagine someone
snipping it with scissors.
Oh, my fucking life!
20
00:00:53,335 --> 00:00:57,340
Yeah. Either that, or you can have it
pull apart like wet tissue paper.
21
00:00:57,341 --> 00:00:58,822
PHONE RINGS
22
00:00:58,823 --> 00:01:00,505
Sophie's mum. Hello?
23
00:01:00,506 --> 00:01:02,949
'So glad I'm not a woman.
Worst thing that can happen
24
00:01:02,950 --> 00:01:06,394
'to me is getting sent to war.
Even then, I can find a cave
25
00:01:06,395 --> 00:01:09,278
'and eat blackberries and tug
myself off till it's over.'
26
00:01:09,279 --> 00:01:10,721
She's in Northumberland.
27
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:13,845
They're on their way,
but it could be five or six hours.
28
00:01:13,846 --> 00:01:16,329
Shit, I can't be the birth partner!
29
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:19,094
'Hold on. I see where this is going.
I ain't no birth partner!'
30
00:01:19,095 --> 00:01:22,299
Dude, you are gonna be
a great birth partner!
31
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:26,305
The truth is, and I really wish
it wasn't true, but I'm a...
32
00:01:26,746 --> 00:01:29,390
paedophobe, to be honest.
33
00:01:29,391 --> 00:01:32,354
Oh, right... 'Oh, my life!'
34
00:01:32,355 --> 00:01:34,758
I mean, I... I suppose
I always wondered whether...
35
00:01:34,759 --> 00:01:38,764
I've always felt really weird
around children, you know?
36
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,128
Right. Yeah.
37
00:01:41,129 --> 00:01:43,572
'Act supportive,
or punch his lights out?'
38
00:01:43,573 --> 00:01:45,575
And are you gonna get help for...?
39
00:01:45,576 --> 00:01:47,938
I don't know.
I mean, what sort of help can you get
40
00:01:47,939 --> 00:01:51,103
for an irrational fear of children?
41
00:01:51,104 --> 00:01:53,427
PaedoPHOBE!Oh, right.
42
00:01:53,428 --> 00:01:55,270
What did you think I meant?
43
00:01:55,271 --> 00:01:57,593
Oh, my God, Jeremy!
44
00:01:57,594 --> 00:01:59,516
It's just paedo, phobe...
45
00:01:59,517 --> 00:02:01,199
I mean, they're both bad.
46
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,603
I thought you were saying
you were a mega-paedo!
47
00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:06,006
You thought I was saying
I was a mega-paedo?
48
00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:08,650
And your reaction was that
you'd always wondered?
49
00:02:08,651 --> 00:02:10,413
I was grappling, I was grasping.
50
00:02:10,414 --> 00:02:11,815
Mark Corrigan?
51
00:02:11,816 --> 00:02:14,339
I'm just going back in.
I was only looking at the crisps
52
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:17,745
and I got distracted. I've been
three minutes max, honestly.
53
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,147
You are allowed out.
54
00:02:19,148 --> 00:02:21,711
'You're nice. I wish I was
having a baby with you.'
55
00:02:21,712 --> 00:02:24,635
We'll see Sophie shortly
and if things haven't progressed,
56
00:02:24,636 --> 00:02:27,159
we can always give her
a cervical sweep, OK?
57
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,843
Hmm. The cervical sweep.
58
00:02:29,844 --> 00:02:33,689
Chim chim cheree.
59
00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:36,654
So listen, I've spoken to your mum
and she's on her way.
60
00:02:36,655 --> 00:02:37,856
Oh, thank God.
61
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:41,862
But hold your horses just one sec,
because they are on their way
from Northumberland,
62
00:02:42,304 --> 00:02:45,908
so until she gets here,
I am very much your man.
63
00:02:45,909 --> 00:02:47,831
Fucking hell.
64
00:02:47,832 --> 00:02:48,993
Argh!
65
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,636
Oh...
66
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:51,677
Ah!
67
00:02:51,678 --> 00:02:54,962
'What do I say? Can't sit back
and watch, eating popcorn.
68
00:02:54,963 --> 00:02:56,044
'Can't alleviate.'
69
00:02:56,045 --> 00:03:00,050
Ow! Poor Soph. Does it hurt?
70
00:03:00,051 --> 00:03:01,052
Yes, it fucking hurts!
71
00:03:01,053 --> 00:03:02,494
Yes, it fucking hurts!
PHONE RINGS
72
00:03:02,495 --> 00:03:04,096
Might be your mum.
73
00:03:04,097 --> 00:03:05,979
Hello?
74
00:03:05,980 --> 00:03:08,463
Oh, what? The boiler?
75
00:03:08,464 --> 00:03:12,469
You're kidding! But it's just...
No, sorry, thank you.
76
00:03:12,591 --> 00:03:14,032
I'll get it sorted.
77
00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:16,956
Wasn't your mum, it was just...
78
00:03:16,957 --> 00:03:17,958
Mmm...
79
00:03:17,959 --> 00:03:21,003
Mmm...
A tiny thing.
My boiler, it's nothing.
80
00:03:21,004 --> 00:03:23,847
It's cool, it's nothing.
Minor explosion.
81
00:03:23,848 --> 00:03:27,853
Forget it, I'm focused, OK. Baby.
82
00:03:28,415 --> 00:03:31,940
Apparently there's water
leaking downstairs. So irrelevant.
83
00:03:31,941 --> 00:03:34,984
Can you fetch the TENS machine,
Mark, it's really starting to...
84
00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:36,907
Right, the TENS machine.
85
00:03:36,908 --> 00:03:38,670
'While my flat fills with water,
86
00:03:38,671 --> 00:03:41,354
'what you need is an almost
imperceptibly low dose
87
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,397
'of battery-powered pain relief(!)'
88
00:03:43,398 --> 00:03:45,441
Can you try and relax, Mark?
89
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:48,245
Sure. Understood.
I won't get anxious.
90
00:03:48,246 --> 00:03:49,647
Oh, it's rubbish.
91
00:03:49,648 --> 00:03:51,129
'Placid lake of water.
92
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:55,136
'Placid lake of water filling up my
flat from the gushing broken boiler.'
93
00:03:55,657 --> 00:03:57,139
Has the nurse said anything
about the pool yet?
94
00:03:57,140 --> 00:04:00,504
Has the nurse said anything
about the pool yet?
Oh, what, water birth?
Isn't it a bit...zany?
95
00:04:00,505 --> 00:04:02,467
I'll be much happier in the pool!
96
00:04:02,468 --> 00:04:05,552
OK, then I'm on it,
Soph, I'm on it for you.
97
00:04:05,553 --> 00:04:08,877
And remember to ask for one of
those nets for poo and bits, Mark.
98
00:04:08,878 --> 00:04:11,401
Will do.
99
00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:13,324
'God, how did he get so old?
100
00:04:13,325 --> 00:04:15,407
'I'll never let myself get so old.
101
00:04:15,408 --> 00:04:18,652
'I mean, you have to get old up to
a point, but that's ridiculous.
102
00:04:18,653 --> 00:04:20,575
'Still nothing from Elena.
103
00:04:20,576 --> 00:04:24,381
'I'll never fool anyone as beautiful
as Elena into loving me again.
104
00:04:24,382 --> 00:04:25,903
'Maybe I should kill myself.
105
00:04:25,904 --> 00:04:28,587
'Hmm, Gary Neville's
conservatory is nice.
106
00:04:28,588 --> 00:04:30,310
'Hello.
107
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:32,674
'Put that suicide bid on hold.
108
00:04:32,675 --> 00:04:35,879
'OK, a book. Egghead alert.'
109
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,403
So, The Famished Road.
110
00:04:38,404 --> 00:04:40,005
Is that a sequel?
111
00:04:40,006 --> 00:04:40,766
I'm sorry?
112
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:43,851
I'm sorry?
To the one that was a film about
the end of the world? The Road?
113
00:04:43,852 --> 00:04:46,856
Cos they were hungry enough in that.
114
00:04:46,857 --> 00:04:48,859
Good one.
115
00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:50,061
'Didn't even know it was a one.'
116
00:04:50,062 --> 00:04:50,742
'Didn't even know it was a one.'
I'm Zara.
117
00:04:50,743 --> 00:04:53,626
'Didn't even know it was a one.'
I'm Zara.
Jeremy.So, what are you in for?
118
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,709
You don't have to tell me
if it's disgusting.
119
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,673
My boyfriend's in intensive care.
120
00:04:57,674 --> 00:04:59,315
'Boyfriend.' Oh.
121
00:04:59,316 --> 00:05:01,478
Yeah. He's in a bad way...
122
00:05:01,479 --> 00:05:04,924
unconscious. They don't know
when he's going to come round.
123
00:05:04,925 --> 00:05:06,887
That's terrible.
124
00:05:06,888 --> 00:05:10,052
'Terri-brill!'
125
00:05:10,053 --> 00:05:13,056
'OK, birthing pool, don't believe
in it but I have to sell it.
126
00:05:13,057 --> 00:05:17,063
'I'm Clare Short backing Iraq,
Trinny and Susannah
endorsing Nescafe.'
127
00:05:17,705 --> 00:05:21,710
Hi, hello. I wondered what happened
to the nurse from before?
128
00:05:21,831 --> 00:05:22,952
Which nurse?
129
00:05:22,953 --> 00:05:24,194
The one who was... 'Nice'. ..here.
130
00:05:24,195 --> 00:05:25,315
The one who was... 'Nice'. ..here.
Yana's finished her shift.
131
00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:26,677
The one who was... 'Nice'. ..here.
Yana's finished her shift.
Ah, oh, OK.
132
00:05:26,678 --> 00:05:30,684
Well, we, er, discussed the
possibility earlier of using a pool.
133
00:05:33,769 --> 00:05:35,852
Well, I don't have a note of that.
134
00:05:35,853 --> 00:05:37,414
'Great. Yana's a flake.
135
00:05:37,415 --> 00:05:40,218
'The lovely nurse who doesn't write
anything down.
136
00:05:40,219 --> 00:05:42,622
'She probably only works here
to get 'ludes.'
137
00:05:42,623 --> 00:05:44,986
And both birthing pools
are either occupied or...
138
00:05:44,987 --> 00:05:46,548
Look, I need a pool, OK?
139
00:05:46,549 --> 00:05:49,954
We want a natural birth. God knows
some people aren't convinced
140
00:05:49,955 --> 00:05:53,639
of the benefits of a water birth,
but I for one am not one of them,
141
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,203
so please could you sort that out?
142
00:05:56,204 --> 00:05:57,325
I'll see what I can do.
143
00:05:57,326 --> 00:05:59,048
Very well.
144
00:05:59,049 --> 00:06:00,089
Good day.
145
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:02,533
'Good day? God, I'm so stern.
146
00:06:02,534 --> 00:06:04,496
'Maybe I'll end up
marrying her instead
147
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,139
'and we'll have brisk, clinical sex.
148
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:07,180
How's it going, dude?
149
00:06:07,181 --> 00:06:09,544
I estimate we're looking
at a five centimetre cervix,
150
00:06:09,545 --> 00:06:12,068
plus the boiler's exploded.
151
00:06:12,069 --> 00:06:13,831
'Hey, that's Zara's!'
152
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:16,635
Who was that good plumber?
Sophie's nice guy?
153
00:06:16,636 --> 00:06:18,318
You're stressing.
How about I sort it?
154
00:06:18,319 --> 00:06:18,838
Really?
155
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:19,239
Really?
Really.
156
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:20,962
Really?
Really.
Thanks, man.
157
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:24,527
'He's so lucky I'm the kind of guy
who'd never spike a coffee
with Rohypnol.
158
00:06:24,528 --> 00:06:27,412
'Too many practical risks even
before moral considerations.'
159
00:06:27,413 --> 00:06:31,418
OK, pretty tough but I managed it. I
said, "Listen, you do things our way.
160
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:35,985
"My birth partner has requested this
and I don't care if I have to take it
to the very top of the GMC, got it?"
161
00:06:37,028 --> 00:06:38,309
Mark, I can't do this.
162
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,953
OK.
163
00:06:40,954 --> 00:06:43,356
Is that better? Or is that better?
164
00:06:43,357 --> 00:06:44,358
I don't care!
165
00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:46,041
I don't care!
Or is that better?
166
00:06:46,042 --> 00:06:48,524
Oh! I want it to stop.
It's all too much!
167
00:06:48,525 --> 00:06:52,531
Soph, it's OK, we'll get you
in the pool, I'm gonna sort it.
168
00:06:52,852 --> 00:06:55,455
I don't want a pool,
I need pain relief, Mark!
169
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,258
Oh, you don't want the pool?
170
00:06:57,259 --> 00:07:00,503
No, I want an epidural
or someone to smack me on the head
171
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,666
or just... Fuck!
172
00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:05,551
It's just I did ask very firmly
for the pool.
173
00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:06,753
If I go back now, I'll look...
174
00:07:06,754 --> 00:07:07,955
If I go back now, I'll look...
You'll look what?
175
00:07:07,956 --> 00:07:10,438
It's just it'll weaken
my negotiating position.
176
00:07:10,439 --> 00:07:11,520
Mmm.
177
00:07:11,521 --> 00:07:14,405
No, Soph, yep, I'm on it.
178
00:07:14,406 --> 00:07:16,328
Just a tiny query...
179
00:07:16,329 --> 00:07:18,972
Can you remember,
not at your last place,
180
00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:21,576
but the place before,
the name of that nice plumber?
181
00:07:21,577 --> 00:07:24,941
Was it Tom or Tim?
182
00:07:24,942 --> 00:07:27,465
No biggy, but if it
jumps into your head,
183
00:07:27,466 --> 00:07:30,670
can you just pop the number
down there, would you?
184
00:07:30,671 --> 00:07:33,514
ARGH!
185
00:07:33,515 --> 00:07:36,639
'Wow, private room.
This guy's lucked out.'
186
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,762
Hi, Ben. I'm back.
187
00:07:38,763 --> 00:07:40,685
Hi, Ben.
188
00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:44,691
I thought this might inspire him,
you know, to write a novel,
now he's unconscious.
189
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,336
Mm-hm, right.
190
00:07:47,337 --> 00:07:50,941
You know, it's funny, just looking
at him, I could tell we'd get on.
191
00:07:50,942 --> 00:07:54,066
He looks like a laugh,
a right laugh.
192
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:56,950
I sort of want to shake his hand.
Would that be all right?
193
00:07:56,952 --> 00:07:58,273
Oh, go ahead.
194
00:07:58,274 --> 00:08:02,279
Ah, Ben, sleepy Ben.
195
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,404
'I want to steal your girlfriend,
I think I love your girlfriend.'
196
00:08:05,405 --> 00:08:07,086
'I want to steal your girlfriend,
I think I love your girlfriend.'
Sleepy Ben.
197
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,368
That's nice.
198
00:08:08,369 --> 00:08:11,333
'I definitely don't hope
he dies, definitely not.
199
00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:12,935
'That would be horrible,
200
00:08:12,936 --> 00:08:16,901
'but he does look like he could do
with a nice long relaxing coma.'
201
00:08:16,902 --> 00:08:18,744
Oh, it's you again.
202
00:08:18,745 --> 00:08:20,347
Yes.
203
00:08:20,348 --> 00:08:21,749
OK, after a lot of hassle,
204
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,872
I've actually managed
to swap things around,
205
00:08:23,873 --> 00:08:27,438
and it looks like the birthing
pool will be available, so...
206
00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:31,164
Yes, well as it happens,
things have changed and my partner
207
00:08:31,165 --> 00:08:32,886
no longer requires the pool.
208
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,731
No, we want the what's it called,
209
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:39,737
the drugs pipe, the heroin pump,
the crack tube, whatever you've got.
210
00:08:40,739 --> 00:08:41,980
I want to stop her suffering.
211
00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:43,463
I want to stop her suffering.
Wish I'd known this earlier.
212
00:08:43,464 --> 00:08:46,748
'Hmm, you might be ripe
for a trim, in the cuts.'
213
00:08:46,749 --> 00:08:50,754
So before the accident, how long
had you two been...hanging out?
214
00:08:51,075 --> 00:08:52,517
Three months.
215
00:08:52,518 --> 00:08:54,119
OK. And how was it going?
216
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,882
Were you two very...
217
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,888
Oh, he's very committed to his work
and he did the Iron Man
triathlon...twice.
218
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,372
Wow. So out of those three months,
219
00:09:02,373 --> 00:09:05,096
you can knock off at least
two weeks for training.
220
00:09:05,097 --> 00:09:08,662
He loves his dance music
and drugs and video games.
221
00:09:08,663 --> 00:09:10,224
God, really?
222
00:09:10,225 --> 00:09:12,247
- Whereas I love to read...
- Oh, me too.
223
00:09:12,248 --> 00:09:15,152
I love to read... I adore
to read. It's amazing, isn't it?
224
00:09:15,273 --> 00:09:20,280
Because a book, I always say,
can be about anything.
225
00:09:20,721 --> 00:09:23,725
That's so true.
Yeah, I often read to Ben,
226
00:09:23,726 --> 00:09:26,449
but he's more of a magazine...
FHM...kind of guy.
227
00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:28,052
Right, yeah.
228
00:09:28,053 --> 00:09:29,334
PHONE RINGS
229
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,177
Oh, shit, I'd better get this.
230
00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:32,459
Would you like to...
231
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:36,024
Oh, sure.
232
00:09:36,025 --> 00:09:38,388
"This month's hot tip..."
233
00:09:38,389 --> 00:09:39,429
Hello?
234
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:41,833
"The premier Wrangler collection.
235
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:43,836
"When has good denim
ever been cheap?
236
00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:46,400
"The answer is never."
237
00:09:46,401 --> 00:09:49,004
Look, dude, bit of a weird one,
238
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:52,490
but if you aren't
gonna make it through,
239
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:56,416
I mean if you can't, then don't
worry, because Zara's great,
240
00:09:56,417 --> 00:10:00,422
and I'll be waiting, if you
check out, in a friendly way...
241
00:10:00,984 --> 00:10:02,625
not like a vulture...
242
00:10:02,626 --> 00:10:04,789
to check in.
243
00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:08,755
And don't worry, I'm not gonna
start waggling on any of your tubes,
244
00:10:08,756 --> 00:10:11,960
and if you have a problem with
anything I've just said then,
245
00:10:11,961 --> 00:10:13,923
do give me a sign.
246
00:10:13,924 --> 00:10:17,929
No? OK.
247
00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:21,975
"I'm in a swimming pool and my
bikini pops off. I'm not bothered,
248
00:10:22,097 --> 00:10:25,180
"I'll just carry on",
and that's a comment from Kayleigh.
249
00:10:25,181 --> 00:10:28,826
You can see a picture of Kayleigh
there, and her nice bum.
250
00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:30,148
Jez?
251
00:10:30,149 --> 00:10:31,791
Oh, hi, Mark.What are you doing?
252
00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:34,314
I'm reading FHM
to this unconscious guy.
253
00:10:34,316 --> 00:10:35,276
But why?
254
00:10:35,277 --> 00:10:37,159
But why?
Because I have a heart.
255
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,564
Yeah?
256
00:10:40,565 --> 00:10:41,966
Work's crazy. Thanks so much.
257
00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:43,449
Oh, OK.
258
00:10:43,450 --> 00:10:44,931
What?
259
00:10:44,932 --> 00:10:45,772
Nothing.
260
00:10:45,773 --> 00:10:46,373
Nothing.
What?
261
00:10:46,374 --> 00:10:46,854
Nothing.
What?
Nothing.
262
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,136
Nothing.
What?
Nothing.
No, go on, what?
263
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:49,097
No, it's fine.
264
00:10:49,098 --> 00:10:50,660
No, it's fine.
What are you saying?Nothing.
265
00:10:50,661 --> 00:10:52,863
Look, there's no need to be
all cynical, just because...
266
00:10:52,864 --> 00:10:53,905
Look, there's no need to be
all cynical, just because...
Jeremy, it's fine.
267
00:10:53,906 --> 00:10:56,910
I'm actually quite glad
it's all a filthy duplicitous ploy.
268
00:10:56,911 --> 00:10:59,073
I was worried you had
a personality change.
269
00:10:59,074 --> 00:11:01,837
Oh, just because I'm doing
something decent,
270
00:11:01,838 --> 00:11:04,361
there has to be
some weird thing going on?
271
00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:07,205
Yes... Normally, yes.
272
00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:09,810
Thanks, Jez.
273
00:11:09,811 --> 00:11:12,814
I should be getting back to Sophie.
274
00:11:12,815 --> 00:11:16,540
Jez, would you consider
coming with me?
275
00:11:16,541 --> 00:11:18,463
I don't think I'm coping
all that well.
276
00:11:18,464 --> 00:11:19,665
Yeah, cool, man.
277
00:11:19,666 --> 00:11:20,386
You don't mind?
278
00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:22,509
You don't mind?
No. Kind of always
wanted to see a birth.
279
00:11:22,510 --> 00:11:26,515
Be kind of like Alien but sexy.
Sexy Alien.
280
00:11:29,461 --> 00:11:31,824
Hey, Soph, it's me, and Jez!
281
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,828
When's the anaesthetist
coming, Mark? I need something.
282
00:11:34,829 --> 00:11:38,274
OK, look, I went crazy at them,
I totally lost it, actually,
283
00:11:38,275 --> 00:11:42,280
but the thing is that the
anaesthetist has this C-section now,
284
00:11:42,361 --> 00:11:44,243
and then there's another procedure
285
00:11:44,244 --> 00:11:45,926
that he's booked in to...
What?
286
00:11:45,927 --> 00:11:48,169
Tell them to pull
their fingers out, Mark.
287
00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:50,853
Look, the anaesthetist
can't be in two places at once!
288
00:11:50,854 --> 00:11:52,696
I mean, I wish he could,
but he can't.
289
00:11:52,697 --> 00:11:55,060
'How didIbecome
the hospital spin doctor?'
290
00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:56,983
I want an epidural!
291
00:11:56,984 --> 00:12:00,548
Hello! Hello, Sophie, how we doing?
292
00:12:00,549 --> 00:12:02,071
Hi, boys.
293
00:12:02,072 --> 00:12:04,434
OK, darling, baby's doing fine.
294
00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:08,440
I just wanna see how you're doing,
see how dilated you are, OK?
295
00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:13,809
'Hmm, stuck on the medical channel
and there's no remote control.'
296
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:23,303
Maybe some...music?
297
00:12:23,304 --> 00:12:26,228
Yes. Yeah, maybe some music.
298
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:27,230
Uh-huh.
299
00:12:27,231 --> 00:12:28,271
Uh-huh.
PANPIPE MUSIC
300
00:12:28,272 --> 00:12:31,917
'What a bastard. That's gonna
drive us all totally bonkers.'
301
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:35,002
Yeah, you're doing great,
you're fully dilated.
302
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:36,564
Your baby's coming.
303
00:12:36,565 --> 00:12:40,570
There's no time for an epidural.
304
00:12:41,413 --> 00:12:42,974
She put her whole hand in.
305
00:12:42,975 --> 00:12:43,855
Blimey.
306
00:12:43,856 --> 00:12:46,379
Blimey.
I didn't think she'd
put her whole hand in!
307
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,663
No, God.
308
00:12:48,664 --> 00:12:50,706
Look, maybe I should go.
309
00:12:50,707 --> 00:12:53,751
'Of course. Brings
the insufferable music, then goes.
310
00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:55,594
'He's like the 1980s.'
311
00:12:55,595 --> 00:12:58,799
Hello? Hans?!
312
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,603
Oh, OK, I'll be right down.
313
00:13:01,604 --> 00:13:05,609
That was Super Hans. He's here,
he wants money to fix the boiler.
314
00:13:06,211 --> 00:13:08,213
Yeah, I called him earlier.
Boiler's sorted.
315
00:13:08,214 --> 00:13:11,939
Yeah, I called him earlier.
Boiler's sorted.
You called Super Hans about the
boiler? Super Hans is our plumber?
316
00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:14,062
No, not Hans, his mate.
His mate's a plumber.
317
00:13:14,063 --> 00:13:17,427
Oh, great(!) I wonder if he appears
on the CORGI Gas Safe Register?
318
00:13:17,428 --> 00:13:20,392
Or just the Sex Offenders'?!
319
00:13:20,393 --> 00:13:22,676
'That's right,
pay Hans to do the plumbing,
320
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,599
'swap the cow for some magic beans.'
321
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,762
Half a monkey, as requested.
322
00:13:26,763 --> 00:13:28,444
'Why am I dealing in animals?'
323
00:13:28,445 --> 00:13:30,968
'No animal-based transaction
has ever gone well.'
324
00:13:30,969 --> 00:13:32,331
It's for parts and that.
325
00:13:32,332 --> 00:13:35,816
'I'll probably end up with half
a Ford Escort and some porno tapes
326
00:13:35,817 --> 00:13:37,579
'and we'll call it all square.'
327
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,502
Is he...the plumber?
328
00:13:39,503 --> 00:13:43,508
Relax, Mark. We can definitely
do plumbing, it's not an issue.
329
00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:46,432
Trojan's very capable
after his sleep.
330
00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:48,956
Plumbing's just fucking Lego, innit?
331
00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:52,963
Water Lego. So, how's it all
going with Soph and the baby?
332
00:13:53,444 --> 00:13:55,567
You know, for a while
it's been pretty boring
333
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,890
but I think we're getting
to the utterly terrifying bit.
334
00:13:57,891 --> 00:14:01,015
Take my advice,
stay away from the goal end, mate.
335
00:14:01,016 --> 00:14:01,736
Yeah?
336
00:14:01,737 --> 00:14:04,220
Yeah?
Yeah. You don't wanna
get thinking about that.
337
00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:06,303
It's like the Channel Tunnel -
338
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,947
lovely, it's all
about your holidays,
339
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:12,112
but imagine you saw a fucking
huge baby come out of it.
340
00:14:12,113 --> 00:14:13,915
Never be the same again.
341
00:14:13,916 --> 00:14:14,676
Right.
342
00:14:14,677 --> 00:14:16,679
Right.
One other tip... Trip.
343
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:17,360
What?
344
00:14:17,361 --> 00:14:19,484
What?
Trip your fucking nuts off,
makes it amazing.
345
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:20,806
Isn't it pretty amazing anyway?
346
00:14:20,807 --> 00:14:22,608
Isn't it pretty amazing anyway?
Dunno. Yeah, maybe,
347
00:14:22,609 --> 00:14:26,575
but if you'retrippingand you're
having a baby, it's like "Fuck!",
348
00:14:26,576 --> 00:14:28,698
you know? You see a little guy
come out of there,
349
00:14:28,699 --> 00:14:31,903
what's gonna happen next?
Frogs out of her arsehole?
350
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:35,268
Milk out of her ears?
Anything's possible.
351
00:14:35,269 --> 00:14:36,310
Oi.
352
00:14:36,311 --> 00:14:37,351
What?
353
00:14:37,352 --> 00:14:38,393
Let's drive.
354
00:14:38,394 --> 00:14:39,875
'If those two fix my boiler,
355
00:14:39,876 --> 00:14:43,120
'I think it will be more surprising
than if Sophie gave birth
356
00:14:43,121 --> 00:14:45,764
'to a working replica
of Stephenson's Rocket.'
357
00:14:45,765 --> 00:14:49,049
Hi, Soph, back now.
Can I do anything?
358
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:49,490
SOPHIE MOANS
359
00:14:49,491 --> 00:14:52,054
SOPHIE MOANS
You're doing great,
Sophie, you're doing good.
360
00:14:52,055 --> 00:14:56,060
'Oh, God, the screaming. Poor Sophie.
I definitely couldn't give birth.
361
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,386
'I want to call Dignitas
when I get lumber pain.'
362
00:14:59,387 --> 00:15:02,270
Now, don't push
if you don't need to.
363
00:15:02,271 --> 00:15:06,276
Take a rest, Sophie, hmm?
You're doing well.
364
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:10,643
'I can't just keep standing to
attention like Captain Mark Phillips.
365
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,888
'Could march around the room
like Nelson on his quarterdeck.
366
00:15:13,889 --> 00:15:15,210
'I'm just a spare part!'
367
00:15:15,211 --> 00:15:17,614
Why don't you stop walking round
like that and come over here?
368
00:15:17,615 --> 00:15:20,819
Why don't you stop walking round
like that and come over here?
'And the fun part is,
everything I do is basically wrong.
369
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:24,184
'If I can just get hold of a hand,
that might feel useful.'
370
00:15:24,185 --> 00:15:26,347
Oh, it's now, Mark, it's now!
371
00:15:26,348 --> 00:15:30,354
Right, right, yes, I'm sure, but
just don't use all your energy,
372
00:15:30,355 --> 00:15:32,236
cos you did say that eight hours ago,
373
00:15:32,237 --> 00:15:35,722
and it wasn't "now", and I don't
wanna be a doubting Thomas, but...
374
00:15:35,723 --> 00:15:37,965
Aargh!
375
00:15:37,966 --> 00:15:41,411
Bastard, bastard, fat bastard!
376
00:15:41,412 --> 00:15:43,895
'Is that for me
or just general bastarding?'
377
00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:46,418
Oh, fuck off, fuck off!
378
00:15:46,419 --> 00:15:49,463
'If she keeps saying "Fuck off",
I might fuck off.
379
00:15:49,464 --> 00:15:51,386
'That's gotta be within your rights,
380
00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:55,392
'to fuck off if someone repeatedly
screams at you to fuck off.'
381
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,235
Can I...
382
00:15:57,236 --> 00:15:59,639
I just need to nip
to the little boys' room.
383
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,802
'Yeah, the little boys' room.
384
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:04,486
'For little boys.'
385
00:16:04,487 --> 00:16:06,049
There we go.
386
00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:07,892
One for you and one for Ben.
387
00:16:07,893 --> 00:16:10,736
Thanks, Jez.
388
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:13,380
I'll have Ben's for him, shall I?
389
00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,784
Here's to you, Ben.
390
00:16:15,785 --> 00:16:18,989
I guess, I mean,
the thing I think is,
391
00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:22,915
if he doesn't make it, God forbid,
at least he lived to the max.
392
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:26,921
The Iron Man... We think we were
once in the same bar as Banksy.
393
00:16:27,123 --> 00:16:28,924
Wow, yeah, I mean,
394
00:16:28,925 --> 00:16:31,288
there's a time for everything,
isn't there, you know?
395
00:16:31,289 --> 00:16:34,253
There's a time for golf,
a time for stew...
396
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,935
Mmm. Yeah.
397
00:16:35,936 --> 00:16:37,017
'Come on, Guru Jez!'
398
00:16:37,018 --> 00:16:39,541
I mean, it's the whole
circle of life, isn't it?
399
00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:43,547
I mean, if you believe in
reincarnation, imagine if hewent
400
00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:48,234
at the exact same moment that
my friend's baby was born.
401
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:52,281
Ben's spirit, his essence,
might live on,
402
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,764
Bluetoothed into the baby.
403
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:57,449
Yeah, I suppose I could
accept that, in a way.
404
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,492
It's just him dangling, you know?
405
00:16:59,493 --> 00:17:03,458
We need to get you some answers.
Is he going to pull through?
406
00:17:03,459 --> 00:17:04,860
You need to know.
407
00:17:04,861 --> 00:17:06,142
'Ineed to know.
408
00:17:06,143 --> 00:17:08,546
'Right now, I'm a supporting
character in a weepy,
409
00:17:08,547 --> 00:17:11,831
'when I want to be
the leading man in a porno!'
410
00:17:11,832 --> 00:17:15,837
'Yeah, OK, off to the toilet,
have a wee and then back in.
411
00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:19,322
'I could walk quicker, but it's
interesting to note that I'm not.
412
00:17:19,323 --> 00:17:22,768
'I'm walking at what I would
describe in court as a normal pace,
413
00:17:22,769 --> 00:17:25,893
'but which I think is actually
slightly slower than normal.
414
00:17:25,894 --> 00:17:29,178
'There's the toilet.
Hmm, why didn't I go in?
415
00:17:29,179 --> 00:17:32,823
'Here I go into here.
OK, this is interesting.
416
00:17:32,824 --> 00:17:35,468
'Where am I going now?'
417
00:17:35,469 --> 00:17:36,509
'I think this is OK,
418
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:39,434
'this is something somebody
might do in my situation.
419
00:17:39,435 --> 00:17:43,200
'My wife was going into labour, and I
decided to leave her ever so briefly,
420
00:17:43,201 --> 00:17:46,244
'to grab something to eat
to fortify me for the events ahead.
421
00:17:46,245 --> 00:17:49,569
'"Oh, that sounds wise, that you
got a chicken bucket early on".
422
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,611
'"Yes, I know."'
423
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:51,452
Chicken bucket, please.
424
00:17:51,453 --> 00:17:53,095
Chicken bucket, please.
Take a few minutes, OK?
425
00:17:53,096 --> 00:17:54,697
Yes, I can wait.
426
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,542
'Eating from a bucket
like a human horse,
427
00:17:57,543 --> 00:18:01,468
'I feel refreshed and replenished
and now back to the hospital.
428
00:18:01,469 --> 00:18:05,474
'No need to run, and still got some
beans and a sweetcorn for Sophie.
429
00:18:05,675 --> 00:18:08,238
'Probably just what she fancies.
430
00:18:08,239 --> 00:18:12,044
'Hmm, is this the worst thing
I've ever done? It might be.
431
00:18:12,045 --> 00:18:15,970
'You can't hide behind that
pillar, I'm a sharpshooter.
432
00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:18,334
'I bet she's OK, all the staff...
433
00:18:18,335 --> 00:18:20,257
'I'm better off here, I'm safe here,
434
00:18:20,258 --> 00:18:23,943
'with the gangsters in the killing
zone, the abandoned subway station,
435
00:18:23,944 --> 00:18:26,106
'my safe place, my good place.'
436
00:18:26,107 --> 00:18:27,668
Looks like you're in
trouble there, mate.
437
00:18:27,669 --> 00:18:29,992
Looks like you're in
trouble there, mate.
'Oddball alert.
Do not respond, do not engage.
438
00:18:29,993 --> 00:18:33,277
'Oh, God, he's broken
through my icy force field.
439
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,960
'Maybe he's having a baby.
440
00:18:34,961 --> 00:18:38,766
'Maybe everyone in here
is having babies.'
441
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:42,772
This is difficult, but if he does
make it through, will he still be...
442
00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:46,858
operating from
below the waistal area?
443
00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:47,539
You mean...
444
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:49,182
You mean...
Will he still be able to...
445
00:18:49,183 --> 00:18:51,906
communicate...with his...
446
00:18:51,907 --> 00:18:53,468
communication rod,
447
00:18:53,469 --> 00:18:56,393
or will he no longer be able to...
448
00:18:56,394 --> 00:18:59,918
lift the drawbridge, so to speak?
I'm thinking about Zara's needs.
449
00:18:59,919 --> 00:19:02,883
Look, I can't speculate on that,
but I'll be frank with you.
450
00:19:02,884 --> 00:19:06,008
We really need to see some movement
in the next 24 hours from Ben
451
00:19:06,009 --> 00:19:08,291
if a full recovery
is going to be on the cards.
452
00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:09,694
Thank you, doctor.
453
00:19:09,695 --> 00:19:11,376
'I'm 24 hours from Tulsa.'
454
00:19:11,377 --> 00:19:12,698
Thanks, Jez.
455
00:19:12,699 --> 00:19:15,863
'Finally, I'm in pole position.
Ben checks out, I check in.
456
00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,547
'I mean, I definitely,
definitely hope he doesn't,
457
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:19,869
'but if he does, then...'
458
00:19:19,870 --> 00:19:21,232
Uh!
459
00:19:21,233 --> 00:19:22,073
What, Jeremy?
460
00:19:22,074 --> 00:19:23,114
What, Jeremy?
N-nothing.
461
00:19:23,115 --> 00:19:24,797
'Don't tell her,
don't raise her hopes.
462
00:19:24,798 --> 00:19:27,081
'Could have been anything -
phantom toe syndrome,
463
00:19:27,082 --> 00:19:29,244
'methane build-up,
disturbance in the force...
464
00:19:29,245 --> 00:19:30,726
'Oh, bollocks.'
465
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:34,732
Zara, I think Ben's trying to
tell you something with his foot.
466
00:19:37,257 --> 00:19:41,263
Oh, my God, look! He's gonna be fine.
Everything's gonna be fine, Jez!
467
00:19:41,544 --> 00:19:43,506
That's brilliant, Zara!
468
00:19:43,507 --> 00:19:45,990
'Fucking great. The mummy returns.
469
00:19:45,991 --> 00:19:47,993
'Finally find
the woman of my dreams,
470
00:19:47,994 --> 00:19:51,118
'and her boyfriend reanimates.'
471
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:52,159
Fuck you! Fuck you!
472
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,522
Fuck you!
473
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,485
Nice.
474
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,406
Jez.
475
00:19:56,407 --> 00:19:57,448
Jez.
Who's the jerk?
476
00:19:57,449 --> 00:20:01,454
Easy, buddy. I went to see Soph.
Why are you not in there?
477
00:20:01,495 --> 00:20:02,736
Yeah, well...
478
00:20:02,737 --> 00:20:06,742
Sophie wanted me to grab five
and play some Lethal Enforcers.
479
00:20:06,783 --> 00:20:07,383
Really?
480
00:20:07,384 --> 00:20:11,269
Really?
Yeah, she was all, "Grab five,
Mark, you deserve it, I'll be fine".
481
00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:13,152
She didn't mention that.
482
00:20:13,153 --> 00:20:14,915
The midwife didn't mention that.
483
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,078
Yeah, I know,
that's because I'm lying.
484
00:20:17,079 --> 00:20:19,602
Look, Mark, I get it.
If this was happening to me,
485
00:20:19,603 --> 00:20:22,006
I'd be doing what you're doing
100 times over,
486
00:20:22,007 --> 00:20:23,809
but you don't want
to look back on today
487
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:26,853
thinking when your baby was being
born, you were taking out a ninja.
488
00:20:26,854 --> 00:20:28,336
Yakuza!
489
00:20:28,337 --> 00:20:30,419
You need to get back in there.
490
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:34,024
'He's right. Thank God I didn't do
bottle-of-whiskey-and-random-EasyJet.
491
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:36,949
'I can still pull this round.'
492
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:38,271
(HOWLS)
493
00:20:38,272 --> 00:20:40,875
Hi. Oh, you're not...
494
00:20:40,876 --> 00:20:44,881
'That could so easily have been me -
a useless gnome, fishing for turds.'
495
00:20:45,483 --> 00:20:47,165
Sorry, this should be my birth.
Where's...?
496
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:49,288
Sorry, this should be my birth.
Where's...?
Sophie Chapman is in theatre three.
497
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:51,451
Theatre?
498
00:20:51,452 --> 00:20:54,977
'Theatre! Nothing good has ever
happened in a theatre. Oh, fuck!'
499
00:20:54,978 --> 00:20:56,299
Sophie, are you OK?
500
00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,262
Yeah, I am.
501
00:20:58,263 --> 00:21:01,307
I'm so sorry I went. I just...
I don't know what to say.
502
00:21:01,308 --> 00:21:04,832
Did you go? I've been pretty out
of it. How long were you gone for?
503
00:21:04,833 --> 00:21:06,475
Oh, how long?
504
00:21:06,476 --> 00:21:09,479
Oh, ages, like...
505
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,122
three or four minutes.
506
00:21:11,123 --> 00:21:13,606
'This is amazing.
I could have finished the level,
507
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:16,170
'had an Angry Whopper
and upgraded my phone tariff.'
508
00:21:16,171 --> 00:21:18,734
Everything slowed down
and we wanted to get the baby out,
509
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:19,976
so we decided to come
for a Caesarean section.
510
00:21:19,977 --> 00:21:23,060
so we decided to come
for a Caesarean section.
That's brilliant.
I love the salad, now try the birth.
511
00:21:23,061 --> 00:21:25,664
The... Caesar,
512
00:21:25,665 --> 00:21:29,671
Caesarean salad? Sorry, I'm gabbling.
I'm just happy it's all OK.
513
00:21:30,112 --> 00:21:31,473
How's it looking down there?
514
00:21:31,474 --> 00:21:32,114
Oh...
515
00:21:32,115 --> 00:21:33,917
Oh...
You might not necessarily want to.
516
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,720
'Holy fuck! Living innards.
517
00:21:35,721 --> 00:21:39,726
'I thought now it'd all be hi-tech,
chip and pin, not London Dungeon!'
518
00:21:39,847 --> 00:21:40,888
Is it OK?
519
00:21:40,889 --> 00:21:41,930
Yeah.
520
00:21:41,931 --> 00:21:42,611
Yeah?
521
00:21:42,612 --> 00:21:43,893
Yeah?
All...good, all great.
522
00:21:43,894 --> 00:21:46,336
'The screen's there for a reason.
523
00:21:46,338 --> 00:21:48,860
'There's a reason
they put Guantanamo on Cuba.'
524
00:21:48,861 --> 00:21:51,344
Now you might feel a bit
of a tug, baby's coming out.
525
00:21:51,345 --> 00:21:53,948
OK. Oh, it's like someone's
doing the washing up.
526
00:21:53,949 --> 00:21:54,549
Yeah, I can feel that.
527
00:21:54,550 --> 00:21:55,711
Yeah, I can feel that.
'Yeah, I imagine so,
528
00:21:55,712 --> 00:21:59,717
'because a human being is being
heaved out of your body.
529
00:22:00,199 --> 00:22:02,522
'Oh, my goodness!
530
00:22:02,523 --> 00:22:03,483
Do you want to cut the cord?
531
00:22:03,484 --> 00:22:05,606
Do you want to cut the cord?
'No! Do you want
to do some credit rating
532
00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:08,411
'or work in a Mexican restaurant?
Let's stick to our jobs!'
533
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:09,052
Do people normally...
534
00:22:09,053 --> 00:22:10,774
Do people normally...
Yep.
535
00:22:10,775 --> 00:22:12,056
Go on, Mark.
536
00:22:12,057 --> 00:22:13,418
Oh, OK.
537
00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:16,744
'Great. Bet I do it wrong and they
laugh. Humiliated in front of my son
538
00:22:16,745 --> 00:22:18,106
'within ten seconds of his birth.'
539
00:22:18,107 --> 00:22:20,189
Wow. It's sinewy.
540
00:22:20,190 --> 00:22:22,352
'God! I can't get any purchase.
541
00:22:22,353 --> 00:22:25,277
'Thought it would be like Sarah
Ferguson cutting a ribbon,
542
00:22:25,278 --> 00:22:29,003
'but it's much more meaty, like
sawing a dog's leg in half.
543
00:22:29,004 --> 00:22:32,448
'Oh, my God. There he is.
I've got a baby.
544
00:22:32,449 --> 00:22:36,374
'Maybe I might be...
a good person from now on.
545
00:22:36,375 --> 00:22:39,819
'That might be a good idea.
Yeah, lead a wholesome life
546
00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:43,105
'and be a decent citizen
and make the whole world OK,
547
00:22:43,106 --> 00:22:46,630
'and, yeah, this is a biggy,
this is definitely a biggy!
548
00:22:46,631 --> 00:22:48,833
'Maybe my son
can sort climate change.
549
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:50,756
'He might figure out cold fusion!
550
00:22:50,757 --> 00:22:53,360
'Not as one of the main guys,
that's unrealistic,
551
00:22:53,361 --> 00:22:55,364
'but in an administrative capacity.'
552
00:22:55,365 --> 00:22:58,168
Oh, my God.
You're a dad.
553
00:22:58,169 --> 00:22:58,929
I know.
554
00:22:58,930 --> 00:23:00,331
I know.
Wow.
555
00:23:00,332 --> 00:23:03,136
Listen, this probably doesn't
matter right now, but Hans called.
556
00:23:03,137 --> 00:23:03,576
Oh?
557
00:23:03,577 --> 00:23:04,978
Oh?
It's all sorted.
558
00:23:04,979 --> 00:23:06,541
New boiler's up and running
559
00:23:06,542 --> 00:23:09,305
and there's minimal water damage.
He sent a photo.
560
00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:10,707
Minimal water damage?
561
00:23:10,708 --> 00:23:12,470
Minimal water damage.
562
00:23:12,471 --> 00:23:15,154
Here you go, here's your son.
563
00:23:15,155 --> 00:23:19,160
'Oh, my God.'
564
00:23:20,163 --> 00:23:24,168
My son.
565
00:23:24,690 --> 00:23:28,615
Minimal water damage?
566
00:23:28,616 --> 00:23:34,023
Sync by Adriano_CSI
44128
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