Original subtitles

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Friends, we last left Jane and Rafael

dealing with an unexpected development.

I believe Mateo does have ADHD.

How can we help him?

Well, there are treatment options

that range from behavior interventions to medication.

But at least the two of them were back in a good place.

Not in such a good place? Our Petra.

See, she was going to propose to J.R.,

but then J.R. broke up with her and moved to Houston.

But at least Petra had a shoulder to ugly-cry on.

I was gonna propose.

Also feeling vulnerable? Xiomara.

See, she was waiting to find out if her chemotherapy worked.

I'm not out of the woods yet, until after the PET scan.

And so, yeah, everything was on pause for now,

including her sex life, unlike Alba,

who just got hitched!

That's right.

Alba and Jorge went from first base to a home run.

And speaking of home runs,

Rogelio had a brand-new TV show.

What if our young lead's story is in present day

and you and River are living in the future?

On Mars!

We can call it This Is Mars.

I know, pretty out there, right?

But hey, it's a telenovela.

So let's blast off into ours.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva was...

well, actually, for all of Jane's life,

there was no man of the house, just three women.

And they didn't need a man,

because they took care of it all.

Electricity went up.

Mom, remember not to leave

your curling iron plugged in all day.

My curling iron doesn't use half as much electricity

as the fans your abuela keeps running all day.

XIOMARA: There, no more wobble.

JANE: Ooh, I like that nail polish.

Thanks. it's called Breakfast in Red.

I'll loan it to you.

In fact, Jane had never heard

the term "man of the house" used in real life until...

JORGE: Mm.

Aww, looks like the man and woman of the house

are in still in the honeymoon phase.

So what's on the agenda today? Huh?

Besides being totally adorable.

JORGE: Now that our arrangement

is permanent,

I'm taking my things out of storage.

Oh, great.

Not at all. I'll do it right now.

Anything for my new step-abuelo.

And maybe you could move some

of your bathroom things into your room.

All the hair stuff.

(chuckles softly) Of course.

Hey, uh,

how you feeling? Itchy.

Your sheets are awful. What thread count are they?

I don't know. They were on sale.

I'll have Temp send you a set from the hotel.

They're Egyptian cotton.

I... (exhales)

I meant how are you feeling about J.R.?

I had a good cry and now I'm going to move forward.

It's okay to give yourself some time to wallow.

No, I wallowed last night, now I'm moving on.

Fresh start. (phone chimes)

Ugh. I'm supposed to be in a meeting right now,

but Temp didn't remind me.

You know what?

Today I'm about fresh starts all around. She's fired.

Oh, no. Uh... Poor Temp.

When you reward incompetence, we all lose.

Wait. Uh, I'll walk you out.

I have to get to Rafael's to talk about...

Mateo! Five more minutes, okay?

So what do you think about putting him on ADHD medication?

I really don't want to go to that right away.

Because medication is a lifelong decision,

and he is so young and I just,

I don't feel comfortable... Jane.

I agree. You do?

Yeah, 100%. I'm obviously not anti-medication--

it's really helped a lot with my depression-- but I'm an adult,

and he's a kid, so we should try other options first.

Exactly. So let's dive

into behavior modification. Sounds good.

Now hand over whatever ten-step list I know you've already made.

Actually, it's 15, with subcategories.

(chuckles) I've been researching and...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You know,

I'm the man of this telenovela,

and I say let's skip the boring stuff.

It all boils down to three basic headlines...

In other words, "cut the crap."

(chuckles)

Uh, sorry, I'm just picturing Jane working out. Whew.

Okay.

And the most important thing to remember is

it's not about the days, it's about the patterns.

That's our mantra.

Look at us, with a mantra. A mantra. And...

a notebook. Ah.

So we can keep a log of Mateo's activities.

We need everything to be as consistent as possible

between our two places

so we can track Mateo's patterns over time.

Per the mantra.

Remind me of the mantra again?

I'll write it in the notebook.

ROGELIO: You've got this.

You're killing it, Dina.

Okay, bye.

Dina's been working like a madwoman to finish the script

for This Is Mars. She's almost done.

(phone buzzes) Wow, that was fast.

Yeah. She's turning it in tonight, yes, she is.

The pilot is brilliant. Between that and this,

the network has to give us a pilot order.

That's great, hon.

Hopefully, we'll both be getting good news soon.

The doctor scheduled my final PET scan.

In three weeks, we'll find out if the chemo worked.

Really?

How are you feeling?

I'm nervous, but I'm trying to stay positive.

I keep picturing all of the things I'll be able to do

once I know the cancer's gone.

Get back to work, dance again.

And maybe even get our sex life back on track before we turn 50.

Well, no matter what happens,

we're in this together, and that's the key.

Ah! Abuela!

Hmm?

What happened to the table by the door?

Don't. I-I want it.

(doorbell rings)

JORGE: Jane, door!

(announcer speaking over TV)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, so there's been

quite a bit of re-Jorganizing in here.

I've got it, don't worry.

(crying)

Petra? What's wrong?

Oh, I was cleaning the penthouse

because my idiot temp messed up the maid schedule again.

Maybe it's time to cut her loose.

Him.

Oh, sorry, it's been three weeks.

Let me catch you up.

As you'll recall, Petra had this temp.

But then she had this one, then this one and this one.

And...

But that's not the point.

The point is when I was cleaning,

I found the engagement ring I was going to give J.R.

and I know I shouldn't have looked at it, but I did,

and now... Aww.

How long is this going to last?

I'm so sick of crying.

I feel like a Villanueva.

I know, I know, but,

uh, it's like I told you on the phone last night...

And the past 20 nights.

...grieving is a process.

Maybe it's time to take the next step in the process.

Showering?

Returning the engagement ring.

Will you come with me? Of course. But tomorrow,

'cause we're about to have dinner.

Did Alba make arepas?

Yeah. Do you want to... Oh...

Yeah, thanks. (whimpering)

Geez, who died? (chuckles)

Uh, actually, my mom's getting her final PET scan tomorrow,

to see if her cancer treatment worked.

PETRA: Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

I'll go. It's okay.

Please stay. ALBA: You're just in time

to pray with us.

I will do it in English.

We ask you, Heavenly Father,

to guide Xiomara, as you already have,

through her journey with cancer.

We pray that the treatments have done their work,

that her suffering is at an end.

We pray that her life from now on be blessed

and full of joy and good health.

In the name of the Father and the Son

and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Amen.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Amen.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: You'll recall, we last left Jane

praying for her mother.

Her PET scan's later today.

Waiting is the hardest part.

Do you want to distract yourself with some reading material?

It is a real page-turner. Ooh.

I especially love the part about the color

of the sunrise when you ran Mateo to school last week.

Okay, maybe my entries are a little too detailed,

but at least you can read

my handwriting. I...

I am sorry, but what is a "meldooper"?

Meltdown.

Oh. Oh, no, what happened?

He lost it at Ethan's birthday party.

It was hard to sell him on a nitrate-free Fruit Roll-Up

when all the other kids got cake.

How bad?

"We owe Ethan's mom a new lamp" bad.

It's not about the days...

It's about the pattern. I know.

It's just a small setback.

Should we talk about it over dinner?

(sighs): Oh, I, uh, can't tonight.

What, you got a hot date?

I mean, not a hot date.

Just a regular one?

Careful. Don't have a meldooper, Jane.

Oh. Okay. Hope it goes well.

Slow down, Mateo, you know we don't run in the house.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It's important to note

that Jane wanted to talk to her abuela about Rafael,

but unfortunately, she had bigger fish to fry.

Do you?

Hmm...

Mm-hmm.

(exhales)

If he can catch a giant fish, I think he can probably

make his own tuna sandwich. (chuckles)

I know. I'm-- I just mean,

you're a strong, independent

woman. You don't have to let him hang something

on the wall if you don't like it.

And yours.

Yeah, Jane. Ours.

JANE: It's like they're living in the '50s.

He might as well have said, "Woman, go make me a sandwich!"

Woman, go easy on him. Ah...

I'm just worried this will become a pattern.

He's her husband, not yours.

And I know you don't excel at minding your own business,

but you should stay out of their marriage.

You've got this.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of marriage...

How did the proposal go?

Would I be standing here with a ring if it went well?

That was a rhetorical question.

She just wants her money back.

Right away.

Wow. (exhales) Just handing over that ring

makes me feel like a weight has been lifted.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Well, it was a three-carat diamond.

You were right.

Ooh, it feels good to get rid of that reminder of J.R.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: That's one small step for Petra...

and one giant leap for Rogelio de la Vega.

That's right. Dina really was on a roll.

And This is Mars got a pilot order from the network!

How does that space suit feel?

Sleek, supple and slimming.

I can't wait to get in front of the cameras tomorrow.

Rogelio, thank you for the beautiful Martian bouquet.

Of course.

(laughs)

(sighs, chuckles)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh-oh. That's gonna be a problem.

They're not gonna be a problem.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, ignore me!

We're so much more talented than them.

And you're so sexy.

And you're so gorgeous.

And our skin glows like the sun.

BOTH: And theirs will only get worse.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Looks like they have a mantra, too.

And so will your skin if you keep frowning like that.

Do you know how much botox

it takes to get rid of worry wrinkles?

Approximately eight to 20 units. Exactly.

Forget them.

No, I was just thinking about Xiomara.

She had her PET scan this morning, so now we're waiting.

(phone buzzes)

(sighs) It's just a telemarketer. (sighs)

Look, I appreciate the support,

but you guys should really go home.

The doctor probably won't even call today.

Yeah.

I thought I was headed in the right direction, you know?

Getting used to us as friends.

But this feels like a real setback.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yeah, remember, Jane, you're gorgeous,

your skin looks amazing, and--

oh, sorry. Wrong mantra.

"It's not about the days,

it's about the pattern." (phone buzzes)

It's the doctor's office.

We're right here with you, Mom.

Mm-hmm. Thank you.

But can I have one of my hands back

so I can answer? Oh!

Hello?

Yes, this is Xiomara.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you. Bye.

(crying): I'm cancer-free.

Oh, yes!

Oh, I have to call your father.

Oh, thank God. I'm so happy.

I can't wait to see you tonight and celebrate.

Okay. You too.

Xo's PET scan results came back, and she is cancer-free!

Finally...

we can be together!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Mars, we have a problem.

Ms. Fields? They'd like to see you

for one more zero- gravity hair test.

To not having cancer.

To not having cancer.

I've been saying it over and over all day,

but it's hard to believe it, you know?

It's hard to just click back to normal.

Give yourself time. It'll happen.

Agreed.

And maybe this will help.

(romantic music plays)

Should we dance, Mr. de la Vega?

(sighs) I would love to dance, Mrs. de la Vega.

I'm so happy. Me, too.

So happy.

I also have a piece of-of teeny, tiny,

totally unimportant, not-so-happy news.

News that won't even matter in light

of how great your news is.

What are you talking about?

River kissed me.

What?

(music shuts off)

Obviously, it wasn't reciprocated.

Because I'm happily, ecstatically

married to the most amazing woman on the planet.

So I'm sure that after your clear PET scan,

this little incident

will roll right off your back.

Oh, hell no!

I cannot believe that conniving bitch made a pass at you!

What was she thinking?

Apparently she thought that our

love-hate relationship was mostly love.

Have you been flirting with her?

No! Of course not!

I've only been nice to her. How nice?

People fall in love with me all the time, Xiomara.

I usually see it coming.

But don't worry. I will clear it all up.

I just have to handle this delicately.

Because I don't want to jeopardize

our working relationship.

You better set her straight.

I promise. I will.

Still want to dance?

JORGE: Are you kidding?

Another amazing meal.

Even when your abuela's at work! I don't know

how she does it. She cooks, she cleans...

She is the perfect woman.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hmm. I'm not sure their criteria

for that is the same...

Ooh.

Oh-- Oh, uh, Mateo?

Take your plate to the sink. Remember, we have

a dinner routine: set the table,

eat, clear the table.

Jorge didn't have to clear his plate.

Why should I have to? I'm the man of the house, too.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oof. This is not the pattern

Jane was trying to reinforce.

(quietly): You might be a man,

but gender roles have evolved, and boys and girls

do the same things now.

And frankly, "man of the house"

is not a term people even use anymore.

I don't care, I just want to watch soccer.

Oh, uh...

sorry, Mateo. No screen time on weeknights.

Grab your dish and we'll go pick out a book. No!

(TV volume increases)

This is not up for discussion. Reading time.

I don't want to read! I hate reading! Now.

Mateo... No! No-no-no-no-no...

(TV volume increases)

Do you have a minute?

Oh. You want to join me?

Um, no. But thank you.

Is my grandma here?

Grocery shopping.

That woman never gets tired.

Glad Mateo's calmed down.

Last night was a doozy.

Actually, um, maybe we can talk for a minute about that.

So, I know living together has been an adjustment.

For everyone. But since we are

living under the same roof, there are a few things

that you could do that would really help me out

with Mateo. Oh, okay. Sure.

Well, for example, the television.

Uh, with Mateo's ADHD,

we're really trying to establish patterns and healthy routines,

and it is hard for Mateo to focus when the TV is on.

So, if you could maybe wait

until Mateo's asleep to watch TV?

Uh, just on the nights

when he's sleeping over, of course.

Okay.

And also, it would be really great

if, when Mateo's around,

you could pick up your dishes?

Just to help us reinforce

good behavioral routines.

Ah. Gotcha.

And obviously, if there's anything

I can help you with, I'm all ears.

Sounds good.

Thank you, Jorge!

I really appreciate that.

Uh... now I have to run. (chuckles)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Literally.

In case you forgot...

You're doing great, Mr. Sweetface!

More like Mr. Sweaty-face! (chuckles)

Ah! Come on, Mateo.

Only five more blocks. Huh?

And you'll be able to focus so much better at school

if you get some of the energy out now.

I'm not going! I'm tired.

You've got this!

I hate running, and you're the worst mommy ever!

You're gonna be late for school, Mateo.

So? I hate school, too!

I'm staying right here!

Would you move for a candy bar?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Technically, a gluten-free, preservative-free protein bar.

You can have the whole thing if you finish our run.

What do you say, Mateo?

Huh? Huh? Okay!

What? Nothing.

I just asked him to put his dishes away,

I can't believe he tattled on me.

I'm disrespectful?

I think the way he treats you is disrespectful.

He's making you wait on him hand and foot.

You're married, not indentured.

Abuela, don't you think that's a little old-fashioned?

I'm just worried that you're losing who you are, Abuela.

Establishing bad patterns for your relationship.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Damn.

Jane got owned.

Yes, of course.

(door closes)

I would also like an apology.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And so Jane apologized to Jorge.

Even though what she wanted to do was hit him

upside his head with his big, dumb fish.

And I know I overstepped...

and offended you.

I didn't mean any disrespect and I'm so sorry.

Thank you, Jane.

And since we're talking about respect,

there are a few other things we should discuss.

I-I notice you often park

by the footpath in front of the house.

I would appreciate it if you leave that space for Alba,

so she doesn't have to walk as far

when she gets home from work.

Got it, will do. Also...

Hmm? ...it would be great

if you could be a little quicker in the bathroom in the mornings.

Quicker in the bathroom, check.

And, also...

when you come home later than 9:00,

please try to keep it down.

We're both light sleepers.

No problem. (chuckles lightly)

Is that it?

That's it.

Great. See you at home.

PETRA: I hate this.

I hate everything about this.

Start over. Hey, what's going on?

I'm redecorating the hotel and looking at some terrible ideas.

But didn't you just redo it?

That was two years ago, Jane. That's like a lifetime

in hotel years. Look,

I know what I'm doing, okay?

Okay, yeah. Great.

MAN: Yo, Mrs. S.

Here are those blueprints you asked for.

The task was to get them signed by Milos.

Are these signed? Nah, brah; couldn't make it

to the prison in time. Traffic was gnarly.

I told you Tuesdays were the only day Milos could get

visitors, now I have to wait a week to get his signature.

You have to start planning ahead and if you can't

do that, maybe this isn't the job for you.

Yeah. I don't think it is.

Great. You're fired.

Sweet. Funemployment!

(laughs)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Who does she miss? J.R.?

Hi, Mrs. Solano.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes.

You remember Krishna.

Hey, you. (chuckles)

How's life after prison?

Uh, did you get my fruit basket? No.

Oh. (scoffs) O-One of my temps was supposed to send you one.

Uh, which is exactly why I'm calling.

Look.

I feel so guilty about everything

that happened and, and I--

I miss us.

So what do you say?

Want to come back to work? Get the gang back together?

Hard pass, Mrs. Solano.

XIOMARA: Did you talk to River yet?

No, she's still in wardrobe but as soon as she's out,

I'll straighten her out.

This set needs to be a place of honor,

respect and dignity.

Because I'm half-human, half-Martian.

I've started to evolve.

Didn't you read the script? RIVER: Hello.

Hello.

I'm calm. (laughs)

But he better set her straight.

And I'm listening in.

Oh. Your wife is here.

Yes, and I've told her what happened.

And I'm flattered.

(over headphones): That someone as spectacularly beautiful

as the incomparable River Fields

would be interested in me.

But alas,

I must make clear

I'm very happily married.

And I'm sorry if I misled you in any way.

Let's just keep this relationship professional.

(exhales) I completely agree. (chuckles)

This show is too important

to both of us to jeopardize it.

I apologize for overstepping.

It won't happen again.

Professional it is. DIRECTOR: All right.

Time for you two to have sex.

RAFAEL: Should I be worried about this?

Petra?

Worried about my personal living space?

Which is none of your business?

You are my business.

And I knew you were doing some work in the lobby,

but I didn't realize it was a whole hotel remodel.

It's gonna be expensive.

You want to maybe talk it through?

The girls are waiting for you in their room.

I am just worried that you're getting in over your head.

Permits alone are gonna be a huge expense.

Would that be worth it for maybe 10% growth?

I know it's a big investment, Rafael.

I don't need you to mansplain hotel finance to me.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And from mansplaining...

to Marsplaining.

Our scientists have finally figured out how

to support all forms of life in the Martian atmosphere.

(over headphones): The first Martian flower was just the beginning.

In our man-made lake, we have the first Martian shark.

And I've saved the best news for last.

We will name it Lake Brenda.

After the first co-president of Mars.

I think we should properly christen

this lake by making love in it.

Cut.

(River sighs) Hmm!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: That's definitely not in the script.

Get your hands off my man,

you horny Martian bitch!

(Xiomara and River grunt) Cut!

ROGELIO: Somebody stop them. Stop, stop!

No! Stop. (both grunting)

Somebody stop them. ALBA: No, Xiomara.

ROGELIO: No! LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Watch out, Xo.

Jump over that shark.

Stop! Stop, stop.

Xiomara, stop. Please stop. No, no, no, no.

(grunts) What were you thinking?

Why don't you ask that

woman who was groping you?

It's called acting!

Yeah, right. They called "cut."

I didn't hear it.

Maybe that's because you were too busy trying

to get a piece of tail, you home wrecker. Okay. Come here.

Come here, come here. Come on, let's go.

(grunts)

Xiomara, this is my place of work.

Exactly.

So why is your costar dry humping you

in front of everyone?

We have a lot of material to shoot today.

We'll talk later. Excuse me?

Why don't you go cool off in my dressing room?

JANE: Inhala, exhala.

Uh, Mateo.

This is important. These breathing exercises

will make it easier for you to pay attention

to your school work, but you need to focus. I can't.

I'm too bored.

Sounds like you need to burn off a little energy.

What do you say we run around the block a few times

while Daddy finishes cooking? I'm sick of running

and I don't want Daddy's gross food.

If you finish your exercises and eat dinner,

you can have a chocolate bar. How's that?

I don't want a disgusting fake candy bar.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh-oh, looks like he's having another "meldooper."

I never get real dessert.

Or even chicken nuggets... Try to calm down.

...or anything good. Please, Mateo.

If you make me run to school again,

I'm running away from home! Just take a deep breath.

No, I don't want to do this anymore.

Well, neither do I.

I need a time out.

You know what? I think we all need a break.

Here, play with this.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

I need some air.

(door closes)

(exhales) He's right.

I can't do this.

I can't run with him to school anymore.

I'm exhausted and we're always late.

Then there's the logs, his diet;

I just feel like I'm always

studying him and disciplining him.

So let's stop.

We can't. Why not?

Because we have to help him however we can.

Yeah, agreed.

However we can.

(exhales) And we can't evaluate

if the behavior therapy is actually working

unless it's something that we can sustain long term.

And we can't sustain this.

I just want to do everything possible.

Don't we owe him that?

We are.

And we will.

But we also have to enjoy our son.

And live our lives.

Let's just relax the food rules

on the weekends.

Let him have cake at birthday parties.

Yeah.

Okay.

No more running to school. Oh, thank God.

Mm. Let's throw out that stupid notebook.

I love the notebook.

Can't we just keep the notebook? (laughs)

(chuckles)

(exhales) This is nice out here.

Yeah, I needed this.

So? How'd your date go?

Not bad. Cool.

What does "not bad" mean?

That I don't want to get into it. Gotcha. Understood.

I will tell you if there's something worth telling.

Perfect.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Aw.

Look at them. So mature.

Less mature...

I'm sorry for my outburst.

But River Fields is after you.

You have to believe me.

Xiomara, she just got caught up with the scene.

Please, let this go.

(knock on door)

Can we talk?

I want to apologize.

I honestly did not hear

the director call "cut."

But beyond that,

I should never have kissed your husband.

And even though what I did is totally unforgivable,

I still wanted to apologize to you.

Sometimes I get caught up

in the fantasy.

I lose myself in the role

and... as pathetic

as it sounds, I start to believe what I'm feeling.

It's a combination of... being method

and... and, well,

being a little lonely,

if I'm... if I'm being honest.

But it's no excuse.

And nothing like that will ever happen again.

You have my word.

Okay, then thank you for saying that.

I'll-I'll get out of your hair.

I'll see you at home? Yes.

(clears throat)

Thank you for doing that.

(exhales) No problem.

Oh!

You slapped me?

Uh!

Well, you kissed me!

Because your wife bought our cover story.

Our what?

There is no cover story.

Let me make this perfectly clear.

I love my wife.

I don't want to have sex with you,

I have never wanted to have sex with you,

and if you keep trying to have sex with me,

I'm going to HR,

and if they don't pay attention,

I'll go to Alyssa Milano.

(heavy breathing)

(Jorge moans) ALBA: Jorge...

Hey. I need a place to stay.

Yeah, sure. Come in. I just need to make a call.

My last temp screwed up my injunction,

and now Milos is blocking the hotel renovation.

Well, maybe that's for the best.

It'll give you time to think about whether you really

want to go ahead with it.

Rafael talked to you.

He may have mentioned it,

but that's not the point. I...

I'm worried that this renovation

is just one big, old distraction from J.R.

Yeah, of course it is.

Everywhere I look, I see reminders of her.

I can't take it.

So you're gonna...

redecorate her out of your memory? Exactly.

As soon as I get that injunction.

Judge Judy stayed here last month with her grandkids.

I'll give her a call.

Eh... It's 11:00 on a weeknight.

You cannot call Judge Judy right now.

Of course I can! Give it to me.

Not a chance. I am your friend,

and I am not giving this phone back until you agree

to stop bankrupting yourself

to erase J.R.

It's not just about erasing her.

I want her back.

But I can't have her.

And I feel totally out of control and powerless,

and I don't know what to do with myself

and I have to do something or I'm going to explode.

Get your sneakers.

PETRA: Why are we doing this again?

When your emotions and energy levels are too high,

heavy exercise can help.

It's not. Yeah. Keep running.

I don't know if you've ever been heartbroken before.

Have you?

Not like this.

Not even close. I blame you.

(scoffs) Of course you do.

For what, exactly?

Well, I never believed in

this sappy destiny stuff before.

And for a while there, because of you,

I actually thought J.R. was my...

happily ever after.

Well, if it helps,

I'm over that now. (chuckles wryly)

I thought Rafael and I

would make it,

but I might change the end of my book

so the heroine ends up living with her abuela.

(chuckles) Okay.

That makes no sense.

And I'm done.

(sighs)

Why would the heroine live with her grandmother?

She's a grown-ass woman.

Can't she move out even if she doesn't get the guy?

Yeah, I guess she can.

So why hasn't she?

I don't know.

Maybe she was waiting

for things to change.

Is she done waiting?

Yeah, she is.

And is she ready to not renovate?

No, I'm-I'm not she. You're she.

Fine, fine.

Are you?

Bankrupting myself probably isn't the...

healthiest way to get over J.R.

Well, you were right. Uh...

River kissed me again.

I knew it.

I'm sorry. I told her off--

in no uncertain terms, this time.

Good!

And you're not allowed to do any sex scenes with her anymore.

Xiomara, she plays my wife.

Sex scenes are involved.

Then I'm gonna be there, watching like a hawk.

I told her to back off.

She got the message this time.

I'm still coming. You can't.

Why not? Because you being there

will make the situation worse.

(laughs): Well, it's gonna be worse, then,

because I'll be there. You are not.

I forbid it.

You forbid it?

Oh, excuse me,

I didn't realize we were back in the cave!

My work pays for this cave.

And I will not let you jeopardize my job

because you're jealous and insecure.

Go to hell, Rogelio!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Uh-oh. Looks like someone's

the man of the doghouse.

Okay, I'm sorry. Come back.

Xiomara, don't leave!

(exhales)

Wh-What is wrong? Why are you smiling?

You called me jealous and insecure.

And it hit me that...

that's true!

I am jealous and insecure!

And even though that's a crappy feeling...

(gasps)

...that's a normal feeling.

Normal like before I had cancer.

You're right.

And I yelled at you for being jealous and insecure!

I know!

You never would have yelled at me before the PET scan.

Oh...

We're getting back to normal.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Unlike Rogelio's last kiss,

this is a very wanted advance.

Thank you for yelling at me.

I'm prepared to yell at you all night long.

(moans) And after a five-year rest period,

I'll be ready to yell at you some more.

Oh, I plan to yell, too.

And yes, friends, that's how Xo and Ro

got their groove back.

Not feeling so groovy...

Don't call her, Petra.

You're moving forward, remember?

P-Please. No... It's been torture,

not having you here.

Look, I-I... I need you back.

What we have doesn't come around every day.

So much for Petra's fresh start.

And you picked up the phone.

Look, you wouldn't have done that

if a small part of you didn't miss me, too.

(sighs)

So what will it take for you to come back to me?

I'd consider it

for triple my salary.

Done. (laughs) You're worth every penny.

And way cheaper than renovating the entire hotel.

And I want a lunch hour every day.

Every day?

Good-bye, Mrs. Solano.

It's a deal.

But you start tomorrow.

See you then.

Well, at least she got one of her exes back.

And continuing our apology tour...

And, again, I'm just so sorry.

It's your life, and I had no right to criticize it.

Oh, you don't have to explain anything.

I'm glad.

Yeah, but it's a good one.

And it made me realize

it's time for a change for me, too.

So... I'm moving out.

I know.

But what am I waiting for?

Mateo and I will get a studio,

which is what I can afford right now.

Down the road, hopefully something bigger.

I don't.

I just think it's time for the next phase in my life.

GIANT BASS: For what it's worth,

I totally agree.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And speaking of moving forward with life...

So... last night was nice.

So was this morning.

(laughs) It was.

But it didn't exactly solve

all my insecurity and jealousy.

I know.

And you can come to set if you want to.

I don't want to.

But that's the thing.

I want to get my own life back on track.

Figure out what comes next.

And I want to trust you.

I should trust you.

Well, I should have trusted you

when you said you felt like River didn't get the message.

But I promise you, Xiomara,

she got it this time.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: True, for the record.

But while Rogelio's home life might be back to normal...

♪ ♪

...his work life is about to get very uncomfortable.

He loves me not.

He will pay.

He loves me not.

He will pay.

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