All language subtitles for Watch Crazytown S01-E01 - Game On - Free TV Shows - Tubi

(soft music)
(glass breaks)

(hip-hop music)

(bright tone rings out)

(hip hop music)

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Mm mm ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Mm mm ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

(music quiets)
(soft crowd noises)

(boots clacking)

- Holy crap.

What are all you lazy
bitches doing in here?

The place is freaking dripping with cash.

Oh my God.

Oh,

don't you roll your eyes at me,

little chickadee.

I've been working in this
business my entire life.

I can smell money from
like a freaking mile away.

(Mystery laughs)

- [Monica] Why the fuck is
my agent calling me so late?

Chloe,

do you really wanna go bigger though?

- [Chloe] More money,

you know?

- (scoffs) Tits don't mean anything.

It's all about the way
you look into his eyes.

(glasses clunk)

(everyone laughs)

Okay okay,

so maybe not quite like that.

So,

in the real world,

no one knows what I do for money.

In the strip club,

everyone knows all the
details about my real world.

So if what others deem as "real",

right,

based on societal norms and,

you know,
values,

if I can't be myself and who I truly am,

the honest Rene that I am,

then what's actually "real"?

See these are things I think
about when I'm dancing,

you know,

when I'm in the shower.

- Remember that chick
whose implants were so big

that her whole tits ripped open?

- Ooh!
- Oh my God,

I know her!
- No!

- I know her.

She works at my uncle's
go-go bar down at the shore,

no joke,

and oh my,

it's so tragic.

She,

she had like these cute little,

like A-size titties,

and she went in,

she got like D-size titties put in,

and it split her skin open,

and oh Lord,

they had to chop 'em off!
(phone rings)

She's like a boy now.
- Deflated donut.

- Yeah!
- Fuck!

- That's so-
- Hey Max.

How's it going?

I met this director who
told me I was beautiful

and so talented,

and that he was gonna put
me in all of his projects,

but instead,

he kind of just started bringing
me to these film festivals,

which like,

could have been cool,

except that these film
festivals were actually

in like bowling alleys

and like screenings and
like the back of bars,

and then eventually,

I kind of started to realize
that he was just using me

to make it seem like I was
like one of his girlfriends

and that he was like sleeping with me.

But like,

ew.

- Hey did anyone bring any Merlot?

I could seriously use a glass right now.

Right now.
- That's a great idea.

- Word.
- Me too.

- I wonder if we could order.

- Hey where the fuck is that Sasha?

You know,

she was out there giving
someone another fucking blowjob?

- [Monica] No.
- Word.

Word.

I saw it myself.

- I believe it.

- Disgusting.
- I kid you not.

How am I supposed to make cash
up in this establishment if,

if that type of whoring goes out in here?

- [Mystery] We're not,

just not.
- Okay.

- [Chloe] Tell Nicky.

- Tell him what?
(Girls talking in background)

He's probably getting some too!

- Ja,
hey,

everybody (chuckles) trust me.

I know Nicky isn't doing that little twat,

okay?
Really.

No trust me.
- Oh are you?

- I got my ways of knowing,

but I gotta tell you this one thing.

We,

that's all of us guys,

we need to like,

take the matter into our own hands.

- Okay.
- 'Cause this shit is

like out of control,

and no guy is gonna
solve the problem for us.

You know?
- Yes yes.

- She'll just like bat
her little eyelashes

- Yes.
- and be like,

"oh but I didn't know" in
her little weird accent,

whatever.
(Monica laughs)

My name's Mystery.

When I was born,

the nurse comes and the nurse is like,

"oh,

so is the daddy gonna come and visit?"

and my mom,

she like looks up.

"What are you talking about?

Mystery to me who he is!"

And if all else fails,

you know,

my uncle knows guys that
kind of like take care

of this shit.
- Yeah?

- I swear if one more guy tries

to dispute the fact that I'm 35,

I'm going to kill him.

(everyone laughs)

- And on that note,

I am gonna go take a pee.

(everyone laughs)

- [Rene] Oh I love you bitches.

(Monica laughs)
- You're not 35.

(girls laugh)
- And honey,

you're not 25.
- [Everyone] Oh!

- And I never tell anybody my real name.

You'll never know it

'cause you know,

then you'd know my secret.

I left when I was 16.

I moved in with a friend,

I started waiting tables,

and I was like,

"I'm gonna be a dancer and
I'm gonna be on Broadway."

(girls chuckling)
- I can not believe

I have a commercial audition

in the morning.

What the fuck?

I'm gonna be so tired.

- [Sasha] Hey Lo,

you're up.
- [Laura] Yeah.

- So he called you twice already,

and I know you don't wanna pay a fine.

- [Laura] All right,

I'm coming.

Oh by the way,

that chick that you're talking about,

the one whose boobs split open,

she almost died of a staph infection

before they decided to give
her a double mastectomy.

(girls gasping softly)
Yeah.

I guess it's better than
the slow painful death

we're all dying here though.

(book slams)
See you guys out there.

(shoes clicking)
- [Rene] Oh my gosh.

- [Sasha] Poor kid.

- [Rene] What's her problem?

- [Sasha] She's just got back from Paris,

remember?

That she had a film
festival that she went to?

Probably jet lag.

- Pardonnez-moi.
- Fucking-

Fucking kidding me?

The little bitch

that doesn't even take
her dress off gets cash,

Europe and film festivals?

(makeup brush clanks)
Fuck that!

- You know what?

She does something that
nobody else likes to do.

She talks to them.

That's all they really want.

- [Rene] Hm.

She's right though.

- I don't know.

I know it's really weird,

but something about this strip
club has become like home

to these people.
(hip hop music)

So I dunno.

I kinda like it.

(hip-hop music)

- And now on stage,

our snarkiest of dancers,

the delusional Phoebe!

(hip-hop music)
(woman coughing)

Maybe one of you fine
gentlemen can slide a dollar

down her garter and give her a cold,

brutal awakening to reality.

- Oh you've gotta be fucking kidding me.

(Sharky laughing)

(hip-hop music continues)

(upbeat music)

- I started working with Nicky,

and that was cool,

and then I started dating
the stripper there,

and that was cool too,

until like I'm,

I'm in my booth,

I'm spinning,

I'm doing my thing,

I'm like running the show,

everything's cool,

and then one of the bouncers was like,

"yo Shark,

your girl is in the back,

and this dude is sucking on her titties."

And I was like-

I fucking lost my shit.

Um but I mean,

you know like,

you don't shit where you eat,

of course,
you know,

but where else you gonna shit?

(hip-hop music)

- Hey.
- We're just watching.

We don't want a dance or nothing.

- (scoffs) Yeah sure.

Maybe you're watching.

I don't think your girlfriend's
very happy about it.

Did he make you come here?

- I didn't make her do anything.

- Yeah right.

He wants you to do this,

but you don't really wanna,

do you?

(Phoebe sighs)

I know someone just like you.

- You go just bag yourself.

Go somewhere else.

- Not a chance.
- Leave us alone.

Because the loser I
know is sitting at home

like a little fucking bastard
while I bring in the money

and give it to him for a free ride,

and I think you wanna do
the same fucking thing

with your girlfriend.

Now don't get me wrong.
- Why don't you go back

and make some money?

- Why don't you fuck off.

Don't get me wrong.

If you wanna do this,

it's not that bad if it's your choice.

Don't date some fucking loser

'cause he thinks it's
cool to date a stripper.

If it's not for you-
- Everybody okay over here?

- Yeah,

everything's good.

Everything's good.
- You sure?

Yeah we're good.
- All right.

We're good.

- This is not the place
you come for advice.

- Just dump his ass.

- You're seriously gonna sit here

and let a fucking stripper give you advice

on your relationship?
- Fucking low life.

(man laughs loudly)

- There's no way I'm gonna let any

of these dicks get a
load of my naked flesh.

Forget that.
I mean,

they're not all dicks.

Some of 'em are actually decent guys,

but.

- Uh my childhood sweetheart,

my wife,

when she passed,

I couldn't put pen to paper anymore,

and I was useless.

Then my son-in-law says,

"we're going out,"

and he takes me to Nicky's joint,

a strip club.

I said,

"is he nuts,
this guy?"

And in there,

I saw these silly men doing stupid things,

throwing money at half-naked women.

I- I- I was like,

"what is he,
crazy?

Why would I wanna be here?"

And there was this smoke machine,

(woman vocalizing)
and it was getting

my allergies going,

and through this fog and this
smoke and this loud music,

I saw Fifi for the first time,

and she was like an angel sent to me.

(Rock music)
- Of course I can take you

to your doctor appointment tomorrow,

love.

- You're such a good friend.

- You know,

I really do appreciate this,

right?

- Of course I know.

- I can't with her.

- So what's the difference
between hooking up that way

and being a Russian mail order bride?

- [Phoebe] Exactly.

- I don't know,

maybe because from the beginning,

he knows your expense,

you know.

You know better.

Don't ask me.

- Yeah,

I just don't get it.

I mean,

look we're all,

we're all fucking prostitutes here,

right?

- [Sasha] Don't say that!

- Really?
You're the one

that's going around
- Okay.

- giving people hand jobs
- Right.

and blow jobs
- Okay.

- and God knows what else!

I mean,

that's what you're doing,
- Right right right.

- and what you're gonna marry that guy

and get that cash?
- And you're saint,

and you're a saint who just
happened to be here by accident.

- I'm not a saint.

I'm not saint.

I mean look at me.

I'm also trying to suck
customers while it's dry,

right?
I mean look,

my boyfriend's pimping me along,

stringing me along so
I can make this movie.

It's all fucking bullshit crap.

- (scoffs) Well,

at least it's not the nine-to-five honey.

- That's true!
- Word.

- Yeah.
- Oh come on.

That's prostitution too.

- [Phoebe] Right.
- How many people do you know

that have regular jobs that
actually like what they do?

It's all for a frickin' paycheck.

It's all about the money,

you know?

Look at the guys that come in here.

Like look inside their eyes.

They're just like these lost,

sad,

lonely souls.
- Miserable.

- Yeah!

It's so awful.

It's horrible.

You know and,

and half of them,

you know,

they come in here to escape reality,

and then you know,

a bunch of the other ones,

they actually come in here thinking

they're gonna meet their soulmate.

(the girls laugh)
I mean,

seriously,

they come in here because they think

that that is gonna be the,

the reward for the fact

that they are in this awful job,

taking it up the ass everyday
from their shithead boss,

you know?

- Yeah.
- It's,

it's so insane.

Like the entire planet is
just one big whorehouse.

(Phoebe laughs)
Like people,

companies,
countries,

all of it.

The whole thing,

and the sooner we all just like

kind of realize that and accept it,

the better off we'll be.

Everyone will get along,

I guarantee you.

- So to the world of whores,

I guess.
- To the rubles,

- Ooh.
- in Russia.

Maybe you should go back there.

- Oh.
- Maybe I should take you

with me.
- I wouldn't be caught dead

in that country,

- And then,

you can finally learn how
- Oh!

- or with you!
- to give a good blowjob!

- Oh get the fuck outta here.
- Wow.

- Go.
- Wow.

- Get away from me.
- Sasha you're too much.

- I'm Russian in a new,

beautiful,

colorful,

American dream life.

Beaten up by my,

some of the girls.

I don't hate them for that.

They have the right.

- Oh my gosh,

Sasha we can't.
- Fuckin' whore.

- [Rene] We can't.

(rock music)
(footsteps)

(Phoebe sighs)

(Phoebe gasps)

- Bonjour Phoebe!
- Yes!

Bob!

- [Both] Mu-ah!

Mu-ah!

- Oh,

how was France?

- Oh it was so good.
(Bob laughs)

The film festivals were so good.

It's hard to be back.

- Ah.

I will not have you hustling tables

- Aw.
- in my presence.

- You're so nice to me.

Come sit with me.

Oh God.

(sighs) You're the best.

(Bob laughs)
What would I do without you?

- Oh honey,

I missed you terribly.
- I missed you too.

How's everything?
- Everything's fine.

- Yeah?
- So it was a worthwhile trip?

- Oh,

it was amazing.
- Oh honey,

I missed you so much!
- Aw,

I missed you.

- You're like a toothache right?

- Yeah!
(both laugh)

- Drinks please.

- Thanks.

I appreciate it.
- I know.

- Should we uh-

- You wanna go to the champagne room?

- I think it's beckoning us.

- Let's go!
- Shall we?

- Let's do it!

I never thought you'd ask.

- Please please.

I met Laura a few years ago.

I went in there to just relax,

had a couple of drinks. (chuckles)

I don't go there for the naked women.

It's just not me.

Anyway,

I'm sitting at the bar,

and she comes over to
talk to her friend Terry.

Before I know it,

the three of us are engaged

in the most intellectual
conversation I have had in ages.

Well,

I started going there every day.

♪ I'm bringing sexy back. ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- Oh first customer of the day.

Hey,

hello sir.

- How you doing?

- Holy shit!

- Nicky.

- Joey!
(Joey laughs)

Get over here!
(hands slapping)

- How you doing brother?
- What's going on?

I'm doing good.

How you doing?
(door squeaks and clunks)

- Free!

Free at last. (chuckles)

- You look great bro.

It's been uh-
- Thanks.

Thanks.
- It's been forever.

- Yes it has.

- Wow.

Wow.

- You look good too!
(both laugh)

- Ah,

come on brother.

You're first customer of the day.

I have a feeling uh,

we gotta get a drink in your hand.

Get you in there.
- I'd love that.

- Yeah?
- Is Mystery here?

- She's gonna be happy to see you buddy.

Come on.
- Good.

- Come on.
- Let's go.

- (chuckles) I can't believe it.

Wow.

The girls,

they're like my family,

you know.

Good times,
bad times,

sometimes big brother,

sometimes I play the dad,

and then there's one,

one girl I once in a while kinda-

I don't know,

it kind of softens my heart a bit.

Mystery.

(rock music)

- What the-

Joey?

Joey Credit!

Oh hi!

What the hell are you doing?

- I thought I'd find you.

- Oh,

I'm that predictable?
- Last thing I'd say

about you is that you're predictable.

(Mystery laughs)

- Ooh well what are doing?

You didn't escape or nothin',

did you?
(Joey laughs)

- No!

I served my time.
- Ooh.

- Got out a bit early for good behavior.

- Oh well luckily.

it was just like that
credit card thing right?

It's not like there was
violence or nothin'.

There wasn't violence right?

- Yeah.
Exactly.

I shouldn't listen to my father though,

all my frickin' brothers.
- Hm,

you should have listened,

but maybe before you turned 18,

'cause then you would've
just gotten like what,

a couple years in juvie,
(Joey laughs)

right?
- Yeah.

- Isn't that right?

- Timing is the issue so.

- Like 15 freaking years,

right? (laughs)
- Well,

actually if you're counting.
- Ha.

Wow.

Huh.
- I see you and um,

baby brother didn't uh...

- (laughs) No way.

Are you kidding me?

He didn't want no chick havin' balls!

- Oh!

No one ever told me you had balls.

- You know what I'm saying!
(both laugh)

He didn't want some chick around him

that like spoke her mind.

I come from this long line
of women who like really,

you know,

we like uh-
- Have mouths?

(both laugh)

- Yeah.

We got mouths,

and we know how to use 'em.

(Joey chuckles)

- So uh,

what time you get outta here?

- Oh you are so predictable!
(Joey laughs)

You are predictable. (laughs)

I get out when I'm done,

all right?

- Oh,

I'm thinkin' go for a
coffee one of these days?

- I don't date customers,

and you're in here,

so you're a customer.

Look I gotta go make some money and stuff,

all right?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- What?

- How do I get in touch with you?

- When I get off stage,

I'll uh,

sit with you.

We'll have some water or seltzer

or something.
- All right.

All right all right,

All right.
- Oh you a so path-

Oh God.
(Joey laughs)

I swear you are such a romantic!

Where have you been for
12 and a half years?

- Camelot?
(both laugh)

- Well I shouldn't tell,

I'm happy that you're out
here right now. (laughs)

- Me too.

- Oh man.
(pole squeaks)

(slow rock music)

- You a woman or sister with Credit?

(Mystery keeps speaking softly)

- Yeah they call me Joey Credit

'cause I went to jail
for credit card fraud.

Real stupid shit.

Luckily,

I learned a lot while I was inside,

and I proved I could
be of value to society.

Actually,

a lot of value.

I'm glad to be in touch with Mystery.

She's different though.

Something secretive,

mysterious.

I guess the name suits her.

(music continues)

- Mystery tried to show me.

It's like...

and you,

and then you like get down and
you're supposed to go like,

but you know what's funny?

Here's the thing about
learning by doing is

that I make just as much money,

if not more,

fucking it up.

They love me.

They love me.

They think it's fucking
hysterical that I can't dance.

- My last project won a bunch
of awards in the northeast,

and uh yeah,

you know,
I do editing and I do,

I do writing and I do
the filming and all that.

I'm really like a visual guy.

Yeah.

(door slams)
(footsteps)

- Oh,

you fucking filthy goddamn fucking pig.

Stupid pig.

You're so fucking nasty,

you fucking pig.

You stupid fucking...

(continues cursing softly)

Bullshit!

Fucking nasty!

Fucking shit!

Fucking stupid fucking idiot!
- I don't-

I don't wanna hear-
- Scumbag!

- I don't wanna hear it.

- Go fuck yourself.

That's the only way you're gonna get laid.

- I just did.

- You're a real fucking winner,

you know that?
- Mm-hm.

I know.

- A fucking winner.
- Yeah.

It's your fucking fault.

- [Laura] My fault?

- Then I met Scott.

You know how some people
just have that way

of making you feel really small?

Kind of sucking out all of
your dreams and your hopes,

and suddenly you're living
their life and not your own?

(sighs) I think that maybe
that's what happened.

(bottle clunks)

- [Jeneane] Put that
thing down in front first,

and pour me a cup!

- Oh.
- Can you-

Crap.
- I'm sorry.

I didn't make coffee.

- Oh fucking hell.

- Sorry.

- (scoffs) I guess I'll have
to go to fucking Starbucks.

Fucking-
- You,

you're almost going to work.

It's all good,

right?

Mm.
- So I'll see you later?

- Uh actually uh...

What?

Oh come on!

- I didn't say a fucking word.

- You didn't have to say anything.

I saw it in your eyes,

all that judgy shit.

- I'm not judging you.
- You so are judging me.

- You are drinking a fucking bottle of rum

at 9:00 AM in the morning.

- This,

this part of my day,
- Yeah.

- which is the beginning for you,

this is the end for me.

I already did my day,

and this is the end of my day,

and this is my reward for my day.

- Right,

but most of the world
lives in the morning.

- I really don't give a
shit what the world does

because my world is different.

- Well maybe we should
talk about your job.

- We should talk about my job?
- Yeah.

(laughs)

- It's 9:00 AM!
- Why should we talk?

I'm happy with my job.

- Okay.
- So what is there

to talk about?
- Right.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.
- No there isn't,

no.
- If you're fucking happy,

it's all that matters.

- I am happy.
- Good.

- I'm so fucking happy.

- I'm so fucking happy for you.

- (sighs) Oh my God,

really?

- Sorry.

I love to talk about stories
from around the world,

and I do love New York.

I do love women.

I do love Terry.

So maybe I'll see you tonight?

- Uh I was thinking of actually
picking up another shift,

or the alternative was to um,

possibly go somewhere.

Mm yeah.

- Go,
go somewhere?

I'll just meet up with
you wherever you are.

- But it's with Laura,

and I know how you feel
about her and stuff.

- Laura?
- Yeah.

- Fucking Laura?

- See?
- Laura?

- See yeah.
- That little twat?

- She's not a little twat.

She's my friend.
- You wanna see her

and not me?

- It's not either or.

It's like I spend time with you,

then I spend time with her.

- You don't spend time with me.

You're working all the time!

- What is with you?

- I never see you,

- I'm here!
and now you wanna

go see Laura!
- See me?

- Do you see me now?
- Laura Laura!

- Do you see me now?

- Why don't you just go with Laura!

Are you sleeping with her?

- What?

That's ridiculous!

She's straight.

She lives with her fucking boyfriend.

- Is she though?

- Yes!

- Do you want to fuck Laura?
- I-

don't ask me that!

That's ridiculous!

This is what happens!
- Is that it then?

Is that what of all about?

- That's so offensive.
- You want her!

- I can't believe what-

why are you saying this to me?

- You-

'cause it makes perfect sense.

- No it doesn't!
- You absolutely want her!

- What-

oh so everything has to
be about sex with you?

- Well.
- People can't

just be friends?

- You are the one that
works in the sex industry,

not me.

- It's not the sex industry!
- I work in the news!

I'm a reporter!
- It's a strip club!

- I just-
- That's not the sex industry!

- I just see the truth!

It's a sex-
- People aren't

having sex there!
- Who are you

fucking lying to?

It absolutely is the sex industry.

- You meet a lot more people

that are dangerous to our
relationship than I do!

- I work in the news!

- I know!
- Do you even know

what that is?
- It's filled with lesbians.

- Do you watch the news ever Terry?

- I know about the-

I don't wanna watch the news.

I don't need to know about like famine

and babies dying and
puppies being like killed.

- It's called life,

right?

- Oh yeah,

and life sucks sometimes.
- Outside your little box

of your little bar,
- It isn't mine.

- there's a whole world out there,

and it's important that you understand

- I understand.
- what is going on.

- I understand my beautiful little box,

and I like it a lot.

Okay?
- Okay.

Well that makes me very sad.

I'm sad for you.

- Well pretend it's nine o'clock at night

'cause for me,

this is nine o'clock at night.

- That's better,

I suppose.
- Thank you.

- I love you.
- I love you too sweetheart.

- So I'll see you later?

- I'll see you tonight,

okay?
- Maybe.

- All right.
- Okay.

- [Terry] Okay.

- I'm glad she's not gay.

(footsteps clunking)

(door latching)
- Fucking bitch.

Anyway,

as long as I can make my money

and buy my canvases and buy my paints

and get some good whiskey and cigarettes,

I'm all good.

So you're my best friend,

and I can talk to you
about anything right?

- Yeah?

- Well this whole thing with Jeneane,

I'm like done.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- What happened?

- I'm just not,

I'm not into it anymore,

and you know it's not-

we haven't had sex in
like a year and a half.

- Oh my God.

- Yeah.

I don't want to.

- Poor thing.

- Not-

it was partially my choice.
- Yeah?

- Actually it was a lot my choice.

Yeah,

I'm just like not feeling it.
- A beautiful woman like you,

not having sex

for a year and a half?
- You are so sweet.

Yeah but it was a choice.

- It's a crime.
- Hm.

I just gotta figure out how

to get outta this thing now though.

- Have you thought of
exploring different avenues?

Something slightly different?
- Yeah,

but I don't know what or-

who or-
- Something less feminine?

- Oh yeah.

I actually did think
about that the other day.

I was at Starbucks and this guy
that like gave me my coffee,

he was so hot,

- Oh yeah?
- and I was like,

oh my god.

Like I felt this like,

these like butterflies in my tailbone,

and I was like,

what is that?
- Wow!

- And I thought wow,

maybe I'm not a hundred percent lesbian,

you know?
- Amazing,

awakening some hidden
animalistic impulses.

- Maybe.
- Very exciting.

- Yeah.

- There's a lot of inspiration there.

- Yeah but you know,

then I left with my coffee,

and that was it,

so whatever but-

we gonna see a movie?

- If you would like.

- Yeah let's do that.

- You sure?
- Get my mind off

this crazy reality that I have no idea

how I'm gonna get out of.

- Maybe you should just,

you know,

sit and mull it over.

This newfound intrigue
- I've been thinking.

- of yours.

- Oh that?

Yeah.
- Yeah?

- I totally-
- You should.

- (gasps) I have a great idea!

- What?
- Do you have

like sexy movies?

Not porn.

I'm not into that,

but do you have like,

like sexy movies?

- Sexy?

- Yeah.
- Soft core?

(Tyler laughs)
- No,

not like nothing with bad acting.

- Cinemax?
- No,

not bad acting,

like it's gotta have good acting

- Uh-huh.
- and like

really like draw you in

and make you feel-
- Art house.

- Yeah!

Do you have anything like that?

Come on,
I bet you do.

I would love to see something like that.

- I've got a few.
- Like test out

like if it's the direction I wanna go.

- I see.
- You know?

You can be my trip master!
- Let's find-

Let's find out.
- Yeah,

let's do it!

Oh I'm so excited.

This is gonna be fun!

(Terry chuckles)

- Terry is a lesbian,

but she's also an explorer.

Terry's more adventurous than
she would even like to let on.

(rock beat in the background)
- It must feel so amazing

to like be free and be out and everything,

right?
- Yeah.

It feels great to be here.

So when I look back,

I just can never make up for that time,

you know.

It's like that Greek story.

You turn into a pillar of salt.

It's overwhelming.

I just freeze. (scoffs)

- I'm so sorry.

- Yeah.

- You know,

it was actually an argument about you

that broke up me and your brother.

- Is that right?

- Yeah 'cause I,

I told him,

I said you know I-

I thought he was just
always really jealous of you

'cause you were always more attractive

and more magnetic and you know,

everybody,
everybody in,

in the neighborhood had a crush on you.

I don't know if you knew about that,

(laughs) but you-
- I didn't know about that,

but that sounds about
right about my brother.

- Yeah.

Right?
- Vengeance is mine,

sayeth the Lord!

- Hm.
- Sometimes you know,

you want to take action
into your own hands.

You wanna just fuck-
- What?

- you just wanna fuck people up. (laughs)

- But then you'd go back in, (laughs)

right?
And you're out.

You're here.
- That's true.

It's true,
it's true.

I gotta calm down.

I gotta be cool.
- Gotta make a new life,

right?
- That's right.

- New choices.
- That's right.

Here we are on the bench,

looking at your beautiful legs.

- (giggles) You're so sweet.
- Can I touch?

- (Mystery gasps) Oh my God!

No the bouncer's
- Sorry Sledgehammer!

- right over there!
- He can't see that!

- He doesn't-

oh my God!
- Sorry Sledgehammer!

(both laugh)

- He's gonna kick your ass.

It's gonna be,

and then you're gonna kick his worse,

and then we're all gonna
go to jail. (laughs)

'Cause I'll jump on his back and like,

it'll just be this like
brawl in the strip club.

It'll be so bad.
- Only way

to take him down is kick him in the balls.

(Mystery laughs)
Shh!

Don't say nothing.

You're beautiful,

you know that?
- You're beautiful.

- I don't know about that.

- You are,

and I missed you.
- I missed you too.

- And I'm really glad you came to see me.

I feel kind of like,

I don't know,

special that like-
- Well you are special.

Can I um,

smell your hair?
(Mystery giggles)

- Yeah you can smell my hair.

Yeah. (chuckles)

Oh look he's looking.
He's like,

"why is the guy sniffing her?"

(Mystery laughs)
(Joey sighs)

- That smells so good,

I'm just melting away.

Aah!
- Oh you're so funny!

(both laugh)

- I can't do nothing about the time

that we didn't spend together,

but we can start right here,

right now. (chuckles)

- Why don't I go and get you my number,

and we'll do that coffee
thing or whatever.

- I like that.
- All right?

- Mm-hm.
- I'll be fun.

Okay.
I'll be back.

- Yeah.

Mm mm mm.

- So every morning when I wake up,

I meditate and think about
what I want the universe

to bring to me.

So lately,

my daily meditation has been
to bring a gentleman friend

who is in the industry as well

into my life and into my being.

Hey!
Oh my god,

I know you.

- Yes.

- Yes you're...

Phoebe-

Laura's boyfriend.
- Partner.

We're business partners.

- Oh got it!

Yeah I'm Monica.
- Hi,

yes,
- Yeah.

- Scott.
- Yes,

I remember you from Terry's art
party a few weeks ago right?

You were with Laura?
- Yes!

Yes.
- Yes.

Yeah.
- Good to see you!

- Good to see you too.

I remember you saying
that you're a filmmaker?

I am.
- That's so cool.

- Oh, thanks.
- It's so funny,

I'm actually,

I'm into acting myself.

- Of course you are.
- Yeah.

- I'm sure you do quite well

for yourself.
- Well thank you!

Thank you.

I do actually,

but it could always be better.

- Sure.
- Yeah.

- So um,

not working tonight?
- No,

no I'm not.

I actually had an audition this morning.

It went horrible.

I was so exhausted I,

I didn't sleep all night,

so it was-
- Good.

- really terrible.
- Very good.

- Yeah! (laughs)

- Well uh,
in that case,

I'm about to grab a coffee.
- Oh yeah?

- You wanna go to the
park and grab a coffee?

- Yeah that would be amazing.

- Let's go.
- Let's do it.

And yeah,

man of my dreams' gonna take me places.

(hip hop music)

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪