Original subtitles

I'm going to lie back on the center of the bed.

I'd like for you to stand over me with your feet at my shoulders.

Hike up your skirt with your right hand, then pull your panties.

Are they white cotton?

Regulation.

Pull them all the way over to the left side using your left hand.

Squat forward, bending your knees as far as you can while still keeping your

feet flat on the ground.

Then urinate on my face.

Anything else?

When you're through you can leave.

Why here?

Fond memories?

Sarah and I spent more time in this room than we did in our college

dorms.

It was our little oasis.

Of course, it seemed nicer back then.

I'm sure.

I'm going to change.

That's really not necessary.

This should more than compensate you for your time.

I didn't know I was getting paid.

Why would I expect you to do this for free?

It's your job, right?

I just figured it was in exchange for you not telling my parents.

Why would I tell them?

Wouldn't you want to know if you were them?

Absolutely not.

What, you'd want to know if your mother were turning tricks?

My mother wouldn't...

Though I could have

said no.

You still can.

You can walk right... You can leave right now if you want to.

Well, I was just going to fix myself a drink.

You want anything?

I'm fine.

Thank you.

Hey, you want to go get... Here.

Go ahead.

You've got everything you came for.

Warm arms.

A warm bed.

Fall into when you can't get what

you did out of your head.

Go on.

You've made yourself clear.

You're no good for no one now.

You put your selfish hands and your selfish

tongue on my body.

Hi, this is Brittany.

You called?

How does it usually start?

With a stranger.

That really make a difference?

What do you think?

I'll start it off with some small talk.

Like...

What do you do for a living?

What do you like to do for fun? You ever ask someone they're hiring an escort?

Usually becomes obvious.

Then let me ask you, why the hell do you...

I like to fuck, okay?

So get a... a boyfriend.

Make some other 18 -year -old feel like the luckiest person alive.

You've obviously never been with a high school boy.

No, uh, no.

Can't say that I have.

It isn't pretty.

They're like weed whackers or something.

And then first thing Monday morning, all the kids at school know every detail.

And then some.

And then some?

Schoolboys exaggerate.

Yeah, well, the exaggerations only get bigger as we get older.

I doubt any of my clients brag about what we do.

Well, come on, Daphne.

Who's going to brag about paying for sex?

They treat me with respect.

I'm serious. They treat me better than any guy I've ever dated. You dated the

wrong guy.

Take a look at what's out there.

So, um, poor little Daphne sells her body because she can't get a date.

I sell a fantasy for five or six hours a week.

I make more money than my dad makes.

He hates his job.

What do you do with all that cash?

Drugs?

I'm saving for a rainy day.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, really? I've saved almost all of it. Well, I hate to be the one to break

this to you, but they're all rainy days.

Actually, it's beautiful out today.

No one's forcing you to do this? No pimp? No. No.

Nothing like that at all.

You're a willing victim.

I don't consider myself a victim.

It's exciting. It's a rush.

I'm in control. You could never get hurt.

There's no emotional attachment, so no. I don't know how I could get hurt.

At least I like my job.

Did Sarah like to fuck?

You guys came here all the time, right?

Certainly not for the view.

No, not for the view.

I guess I'll take that drink now if you don't mind.

Please.

Thank you

We

come here Sarah and I

You, uh... Being alone.

Dining at the... Dining at the what?

Did you

figure

them all out?

GFE.

Girlfriend experience, right?

It basically just means I kissed on the mouth.

Well, then wouldn't K -O -M make a lot more sense?

Some are vague that way, but a few are right on the money.

Like B -B -B -J.

Bareback blowjob means no condom.

Very good.

And dining at the Y.

Yeah, that one at least made sense.

I mean, as much sense as any of this.

So, will you really do anything and everything?

That's your motto, right?

So, you were partially right before.

About not being able to find a date on a Saturday night.

I was tired of being alone.

No friends?

None worth talking about.

So, I'm looking through the paper for a movie, a band, like anything to do. I'm

not about to sit home and sulk again.

And that's when I noticed the escort ads in the back.

It was a fantasy.

That word again.

It's a good word.

Suddenly I was completely turned on by the idea of fucking some stranger for

money.

What about the house kids white picket fence fantasy?

Yeah, what about it?

So, I called one of the numbers and said I was looking for work.

About an hour later, I met the owner of the coffee shop.

Told me what to charge for full service and massage, and yes, if I knew what

would be expected of me.

Did you?

No idea.

Never even given a massage in my life.

But... You could fake your way through the rest.

More than fake my way.

He gave me a beeper and told me someone would be in touch. It went off before I

finished my latte.

So, did that first time live up to your fantasy?

No, not at all.

I returned the beeper the next morning.

Why?

You felt...

Degraded. No, it was too goofy to be degrading.

Okay, then scared.

But not scared off.

I wanted to be self -employed.

I did some online research.

I got one of those prepaid cell phones and placed my ad.

I bought this uniform and thought it'd be my gimmick.

Since you're getting a real schoolgirl, I could charge more.

But... But if that first time didn't fulfill your fantasy... I wanted to

give it another try. I mean, most of the time I don't even know what my

fantasies are until they start to happen. And it's like, oh yeah, that

me.

I don't know.

Perhaps this fulfilled something else.

Do you trust me?

You're paying me to trust you.

Now

lie

back on the center of the bed.

Phil.

You like being blindfolded?

Um, with Harlan, yeah.

It's fun not knowing what's going to happen next. What about being in

Who said anything about not being in control?

I, um, I take it you see him regularly?

Once a week for about an hour or so.

Almost like dating.

It's not like we talk on the phone or eat dinner.

You just skip all that and get right to the good stuff.

Most of my clients are regulars. It's only if I'm feeling adventurous that I

someone new.

Her name's Brittany.

Where'd you find her?

No, wait a minute. It's this site, man. It's got all these ads from all these 18

-year -old chicks from across the country. Yeah, right. If you haven't

she's probably older than your mom.

Yeah, but... You know, I spent like 500 bucks just for an hour with her. Whoa,

no piece is worth 500 bucks.

Now we can get it for free.

Yeah, Mike.

Mike,

Mike, Mike.

Mike,

Mike, Mike.

While these guys are getting me a drink, you and I are going to play a round of

snap.

Pick a bracelet.

Pull it really hard.

Orange.

You get a kiss.

What sort of mood do you have to be in for that?

Depressed.

Oh, and what? Being groped by a dozen guys at a bachelor party cheers you up?

They're harmless.

Besides, I only use my safe bracelets.

They didn't protect your secret from me.

It's just... What?

This is so embarrassing.

I know what it's like to be the popular girl for an hour.

Daphne.

This.

Today.

All of it. Every time.

It makes me less invested with life at school and at home. And it's...

Mine.

It's just mine.

And because of it, I don't have to play the game. I don't have to pretend to be

friends with people that I hate.

And I don't need to rely on anyone.

Not even my parents.

A little bit of a fuck you that helps get me through the day

I'll be right back.

You know, when I was growing up, it was just me and my mom.

And we were really poor.

So she would buy things at fire sales, thrift stores, you know, whatever was

cheapest.

One day I come home from second grade, and there are all these boxes in our

apartment stacked to the ceiling.

She had bought 20 cases of hotel soap for five bucks.

I didn't even use a normal -sized bar of soap until I got to college.

The money in the briefcase.

I told you, it's for you.

I'm not so poor anymore.

Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.

About what?

I'm just peeing. I know, but... Please, I have one client who pays to have me

pee on his face.

And that's okay?

$500 to take a pee?

Awesome.

A lot of my guys don't even want sex.

We just talk for like most of the hour.

They talk to me.

Because if they have...

No one else to talk to.

No one in the world who finds him interesting.

Who wants to listen.

I don't know.

Then I give them a blowjob and send them on their way.

You'd be amazed at how many wives won't do that.

I understand not wanting to pee on your husband's face, but come on, a blowjob?

Wait, I thought you just said they didn't want sex.

Not sex.

A blowjob.

A blowjob isn't sex?

No.

Sex is penis entering the vagina.

But if you... No.

Penis, vagina, period.

Get it straight.

Where'd you get this definition?

What do you mean, where?

Okay. So, you have your first real boyfriend and the subject finally comes

with your parents. Are you and David having sex?

They never ask questions like, Daphne, do you let David fuck you in the ass?

Does David eat your pussy?

Do you give David blowjobs?

It's always, are you having sex?

That's the question.

No variations allowed.

It's almost as if they're reading an instruction manual, and if they don't

it right, they fail as parents.

And their kids will grow up to be prostitutes.

Well, at the very least.

You know, for me, it was always pretty much if you touched someone below the

waist, that was sex.

Christ, making out was sex.

Dude, things have changed since you were in school.

I need another drink.

You? You're paying me. You don't have to get me drunk.

No, I'm not.

I'm kidding.

So, what do you remember about Sarah?

Um, definitely white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.

She used to make those just for you, you know.

I used to dream about those cookies.

My first fantasy.

I'd come home from school and I just knew she'd been baking the whole street

smelled like white chocolate and cookie dough.

So good.

I guess I was 13 when it happened.

My parents tried to explain, but, you know, my... No, I'm not even sure I

understood.

Not completely.

I did.

At least one thing.

What's that?

I just never wanted to be as sad as you.

What do you remember about Sarah?

So you never leave your house anymore, and it's kind of weird.

Not completely true.

Every Monday, I still go for pizza, just like I always did with Sarah.

Sally's, Peppy's, Modern. Peppy's. Thank you very much.

I pull into the parking lot right at 4 o 'clock as they're about to open.

Sit in booth 22 with my back to the door so I don't see anyone.

And no MCT. And I order the same thing every week. A large white clam and

pie with a pitcher of beer.

It was the one ritual I wouldn't allow myself to give up.

Unlike work and... Work?

Seemed pointless. I... There was no one to return home to anymore.

I think I'll definitely take another drink now after all.

Why not, right?

Exactly. No, I got it, I got it.

I don't think I could sleep.

I got high hopes and a sure little reach.

I'm bloated and sure.

I don't live here no more.

I got all the symptoms of medicine.

No cure.

I'm warm and detached.

In a photograph.

My hand isn't hurt.

My hand isn't hurt. Max, your breakfast is up here.

Max, come here, boy.

Come here boy.

So, what do you do for fun?

Sell things on eBay.

Ferris things, mostly.

That's fun.

Keeps me occupied.

I used to like sitting out on my deck.

Especially this time of year.

Cold drink in hand.

Toss a couple tennis balls to Max.

You know, I'm okay in the knowledge that everything comes to an end.

Makes me feel safe, even.

Sarah used to do that for me.

Make me feel safe.

Just knowing she'd be there when I walked through the front door enabled

me to do just about anything.

It was yours.

Yeah.

It was mine.

What about you?

Fun. Oh, fun.

The crossword puzzle every morning?

No, that's excitement.

It wakes me up.

It makes me feel smart.

Productive even.

Getting accepted into Yale doesn't make you feel smart?

Just means I didn't get into Harvard.

And... What about when you're with Harlan? How does that make you feel?

Oh, let me tell you...

How old is he?

He's like 32.

And is that about average?

Most of the guys are older than that, like 40, 50.

Doesn't it bother you that you're fulfilling this schoolgirl fantasy for

someone old enough to be your father?

Older guys are hot.

And come on, is there anything wrong with fantasy? I mean, doesn't everybody

have one? Aren't they always playing in the backs of our minds like you're in

defeat or tickle torture?

You see someone you find attractive and the next thing you know... You're

picturing them in bondage gear.

If that's what you're into, yeah.

Why not?

I don't know.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

You saw me at that bachelor party and that changed everything.

Got you thinking.

Come on, tell me. How long have you been fantasizing about what we're going to

do?

With you specifically?

I would hope so, but with anyone.

It really never entered my mind until I...

I knew you were available.

And then... Never before that.

Not even when you'd lie in bed awake at night.

No.

What about when you cum?

What do you mean?

I mean when you masturbate. Is this what you're thinking about?

No.

Really? God, when I come, I'm like off on some other planet, never thinking

about the person that I'm with.

Could that be because you're with some guy who's spanking you?

Shut up.

Let's be clear on one thing.

Never came that first time. Yeah, but you know what I mean.

No, not even with the people that I like.

Harlan?

Nope.

Does that bother you?

It used to, but now I just think it's normal.

I mean, one of my regulars, he told me that when he comes with his wife, he

pictures me giving head to someone else.

What does he picture when he's coming with you?

His wife getting gang banged, of course.

And this is normal?

I'm afraid it's more normal than any of us are willing to admit.

Good.

Do you mind if I take my clothes off?

You're my guest.

Impressive. That would be part of Mr. Chang's fantasy.

Another of your regulars?

First and third Saturday of the month.

What else is Mr.

Chang like?

To toss my salad.

And you like this?

I don't like it. I'm not in control.

Okay, so you...

talk yourself into.

I enjoy the pleasure he gets out of doing it.

After I undress, I'm to kneel on the edge of the bed with my knees spread at

least 24 inches apart.

Specific. It's all in the details.

You visualize that the fantasy so many times in your head. It's what you're

paying for.

My shoulders have to be down touching the bed.

I can't speak.

I can only breathe heavily or whimper.

Whimper? If I have to.

And... And he... That's it. I mean, that's all he wants.

Maybe that's enough.

For him, I really believe that it is.

What is it?

Nothing.

Come on, what could...

Possibly be embarrassing now.

Oh, this.

All right.

After our first time, he told me I tasted like sweet and sour chicken.

Tastes just like chicken.

It's not funny.

I'm sorry.

I haven't eaten Chinese since.

I used to love Chinese.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hi, this is Brittany. Who called?

We... I

like

this room.

Comfy.

When you, uh...

Wouldn't you prefer the bedroom?

You'll have a much better time in here.

I will.

I promise.

Don't you want to talk first?

Talk later.

Right now, we're going to play around with this.

We're going to pick a break button and pull it really hard.

What if I break it?

You win.

What do I win?

Depends on the color, Rick.

Who's my favorite color?

Mine's you.

Hi.

I've never won anything before.

What do I get?

Just one.

I like this game.

What's brown for?

That would be Mr. Chang's favorite.

Green?

Dining at the Y.

Love that one.

Oh, yeah.

Black. Sex.

Penis, vagina, sex.

We've been through this. It's the only kind.

Right.

And please inform me... Which are the safe ones?

Well, orange you know.

Yellow's hug.

Red is lap dance.

Oh, okay.

So, you never take them off during a call?

They're the source of my secret powers.

Is there anything else you would like to know, Mr. Drake?

Please, it's Buddy.

Is that your real name?

Why? I don't know. You don't seem like a buddy. Oh, you don't seem like a

Brittany.

No, but works for the job.

Conjures up the right images.

Oh.

Well, Brittany.

My real name is Nicholas Drake Jr.

That's not so bad.

I hated being called Junior as a kid, so I told everyone to call me Buddy.

You know, I think that's what I miss the most.

Kissing.

You haven't kissed anyone?

Nothing, Sarah.

That's a long time.

Enjoy the show. I just needed to know it was really you.

And now that you do.

Do you like looking at me?

More than I want to admit.

You can admit it all you want.

No one will know.

You have beautiful hands.

I'm sure that's exactly what you like looking at.

Um, among other things, I just...

I wish you were a little... Older.

Not like you've heard that one before.

Yeah, it's right up there with... If only I weren't married, then things

be completely different.

And I wouldn't like looking at you anymore.

No, you'd probably still like looking at me, but...

One thou -

I almost quit one.

There's a millionaire's boys club run out of a hotel in Manchester.

The president of Grove Aircraft and, like, everyone important who works

all men, all white, all married, they meet Saturday nights to play cards.

And do they play cards?

Yeah, but...

They also have three or four girls waiting in as many rooms.

Everyone just takes turns or does whatever they're in the mood for.

It was the most I ever made at one time.

And they've called me every week since, but I can't do it again.

Why not?

It was the only time that I ever felt like a

whore.

It was like a frat party for 50 -year -olds.

Not one of them like women or even sex. It was all about high -fiving, bragging

to your friends about some hot piece of ass.

But...

If that's the fantasy, if that's what they're paying for.

I know, but it didn't turn me on. It was gross.

Chang doesn't really turn you on either, does he?

I like Mr. Chang.

He's gentle and respectful.

His enthusiasm is admirable.

And with Mr. Chang, it's not about bragging. It's about need.

Need.

Yeah.

Just like you need to eat your pizza every Monday night, Mr. Chang needs to

my ass.

Simple as that.

If he could do it to his wife, I'm sure that he would.

You honestly believe that?

I want to believe that.

Want or need?

Do you remember Zach?

Yeah, vaguely.

A tall, skinny kid you were hanging out with last summer.

You introduced me once. He seemed polite.

You want to talk about getting hurt?

You don't have to.

No, I... I've never told anyone why we broke up. Well, your secret is safe

with me.

So, my parents were away for the weekend, and Zach was going to stay

We'd been together for like a year and a half at that point.

But this would be the first time we'd get to spend the night together.

We were fooling around. It was pretty, you know, intense.

We'd been having sex for a while at this point.

He was my first.

My first everything.

Your first kiss?

I think he was the first boy who ever wanted to kiss me.

But a high school boy, right?

My first weed whacker.

I didn't know any better at the time.

Anyways, I really wanted this night to be special, you know, do something wild,

something he'd never forget.

So I turned onto my stomach and I asked him if he wanted to experiment.

Experiment?

Meaning?

We've just seen Last Tango in Paris.

What?

He sat up and he asked why and he got all red in the face

and I don't know, like there was something wrong with him even thinking

or something.

I don't know.

Maybe you're not supposed to figure out the fantasy?

Maybe.

He said that only sweats did that and he wasn't dating a sweat.

That's harsh.

It's better.

He got up and got dressed and left.

And he never talked to me again.

I just, I don't get it. I don't know what I did that was so...

You stripped away

all his secret powers.

Right.

It's okay to fantasize about me being a slut, but I definitely can't act like

one.

Inside for days and days and days.

You miss the flowers, all the change.

Now it's gray and you are still.

You know it always passes on.

Come on, come on, it passes on.

Get a little sunshine.

Work it out, work it out out there.

Zach used to do this weird thing.

He'd be at my house, we'd say goodnight, he'd leave.

And then, like, 13 minutes and some seconds later, he'd call just to let me

he made it home.

He always wanted to let me know everything was okay without my asking.

I miss that.

Did Zach like to exaggerate?

First day of my sophomore year at Yale.

My schedule was a disaster. I'm thinking that this semester is going to be

pure torture.

I get back to my dorm room and I can't find the fucking key.

I don't even remember my roommate's name.

Now I'm locked out with like... like a dollar in my wallet the day cannot

possibly get any worse and that's when the music started

blaring from this room across the hall so i'm about to

go pound on the door you know like turn that crap down please i'm having a bad

day but um

But I don't know, something in the song that was playing just caught my

attention.

So instead, I took a seat out in the hall,

my back to my door, and just started

to listen.

I mean, really listen.

11 song, 33 minutes, and I don't know, some 29 seconds later, the

album's over.

And I had no idea who the band was or if I'd ever get a chance to find

out, but here I was, sitting on the floor in my

sophomore dorm, having a...

life -changing experience.

So, after, I don't know, ten minutes of absolute silence,

I stood, finally, and headed, I don't know where I was heading,

but the door opened.

She was beautiful.

But not just beautiful. There was something else. I felt like... I knew

never seen her before.

But I felt somehow like... Like I recognized her.

You know, like she'd always been there in the back of my mind.

Anyway, it turns out she's been watching me the whole time through the

peephole.

She invited me in, and I never left.

Does it get easier over time?

What?

Losing someone you love.

No.

Well, I could lie and tell you it does.

But that hasn't been the case for me.

Zach would never talk about his ex -girlfriend, even when I'd ask.

He'd just close up and say it didn't matter.

They always matter.

Yeah, I found out later from a friend that his ex -girlfriend partied a lot

cheated on him all the time.

What's her name, Brittany?

She went to a Catholic school and had really rich parents.

Pleasure to meet you, Brittany.

I never would have cheated on him.

Sure you would have.

No, I don't. He was your first.

Everything.

One day, you would have wondered what it was like to kiss someone

else.

Be with someone different Whether it mattered or not

something like that

So it wouldn't have lasted anyway

Men are threatened

by sexually aggressive women But isn't that

the whole or a fantasy?

Well, you know, it's one thing to watch someone else doing it on video or to

think about the possibilities.

But... But...

We're frightened by those fantasies.

But you would think that the person you date or... I don't know, it would be...

Someone you could experiment with, have fun with, not hide from them who you

really are.

I'm not so sure our fantasies honestly reflect who we really are.

I think they do.

And I think that's probably why they're so scary to all of us.

What about with you and Sarah?

In the beginning, it was amazing.

But then time stepped in.

That's depressing.

It happens.

A little bit of a fuck you that makes the day seem endless.

Are many of your clients married?

Um, I'd say about half.

Does that bother you at all?

Should it?

I honestly don't know.

I mean, I'm not the problem.

I'm sure many of the wives would disagree.

Only because they don't want to take responsibility for the problems in their

own marriages.

But if you weren't selling this schoolgirl fantasy,

maybe the husbands would never have strayed.

But the husbands came looking for me.

So that's what you'd say if confronted by one of their wives?

I'd tell her that for an hour.

I made her husband feel a little bit less alone.

Would you tell her how he made you feel?

December 31st, 8 -11 -59, I think I'm happy now,

at least from time to time, I had to let it go, I had to

let it slip, funny how it all works out, when you're giving up on it,

rooftops and stars above,

the smell of cold dead leaves, our skin was all in now.

You were more than under me.

Cause I need to return to rust.

Cause I need to return to rust.

Cause I need to return to rust.

Cause I need to return to rust.

What would you do if one of your regulars fell in love with you?

I wouldn't want to know.

But...

You admit that it's possible?

Perhaps.

Could you ever

fall in love with one of them?

Yeah.

Thank you.

I can't do this.

Of course you can.

You don't understand.

I've known you my whole life. It'll be okay.

What does clear mean?

Clear means I'll do anything.

What?

Lie back on the pillows.

Hello. I'd like to make an appointment with Brittany.

to have the biggest crush on you.

I never knew that.

I used to cut off the lights in my room and just watch you for like hours.

You just sit there not moving.

When was this?

Seventh grade.

Somehow got in my head that...

You never dated anyone after Sarah because you were waiting for me.

I was so angry.

Because you walked out on you.

I... I lacked ambition.

I was content in my little house, my little job,

and my little wife. I thought I was happy.

Were you?

It sure felt like it at the time.

My way of dealing with all that happiness.

What makes you think I would do that?

I need you to do this for me, Daphne.

I need to stop thinking about her.

Exactly like I said.

All by yourself.

A pity you must take it.

You are alone.

You are alone.

The girl you hate, she loves you so.

She'd do anything for you, I know.

She sits and stares so all alone.

Pulling out hairs, staring at the phone.

Why won't you call her?

Make her blue, girl.

the girl you hate.

She's