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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:45,770 Your mother wants you to have nice, straight teeth. 2 00:00:45,820 --> 00:00:48,520 I'm afraid of dentists. Tommy, I'm not a dentist. 3 00:00:48,521 --> 00:00:49,859 What are you? 4 00:00:49,860 --> 00:00:54,780 Could I answer that? You just... Tommy, I'm an orthodontist. 5 00:00:54,781 --> 00:00:55,999 What's that? 6 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,440 That's an expensive dentist. 7 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,799 Tommy, I'm a man who's going to straighten your teeth. I'm a nice man 8 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,300 never hurt you. 9 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,960 Now do you know what I am? 10 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,150 Yeah, you're... 11 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:21,500 such a way with children. 12 00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:22,499 It's a gift. 13 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:23,550 Return it. 14 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:30,579 And while we're on the subject, my dear, my schedule here tells me it's time for 15 00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:32,480 your dental checkup. Ah, so it is. 16 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,040 All checked out. What's next? 17 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,180 Here's an old saying. A dentist who examines himself has a fool for a 18 00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:44,490 Of course, any dentist you see has a fool for a patient. 19 00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,280 When shall I make the appointment? 20 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,530 Oh, it's by... 21 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,060 Shh, Jerry. 22 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:52,550 It's quiet time in there. 23 00:01:52,551 --> 00:01:55,349 The group is closing their eyes and trying to get in touch with their true 24 00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:59,249 feelings. Well, that is fascinating. Isn't that fascinating, boy? Do they 25 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:00,930 that, Bob? Do they like that, huh? 26 00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:05,640 Well, except for Mr. Carlin. He never closes his eyes when he's scared. 27 00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:11,600 Bob, can you believe it? Jerry's afraid to go to the dentist. 28 00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:14,550 I am not afraid. I just don't think it's necessary. 29 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:18,760 Just... butt out, will you, Carol? I can take care of my own mouth. Thank you. 30 00:02:18,940 --> 00:02:20,080 If only he could. 31 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,240 Well, I'd better get back in there. 32 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,690 They should be in a deep state of meditation now. 33 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,470 You shut your mouth, Colin. Why don't you go? 34 00:02:30,980 --> 00:02:32,180 Don't call me that again. 35 00:02:32,181 --> 00:02:35,099 I'll call you anything I want to call you. Please, gentlemen, please. 36 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:37,560 All this yelling has made me drop a stitch. 37 00:02:37,561 --> 00:02:40,359 What are you knitting, Mrs. Bakerman? 38 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,410 A knitting bag. 39 00:02:41,660 --> 00:02:42,710 Takes one to know one. 40 00:02:47,269 --> 00:02:49,070 Mr. Carlin called me a wimp again. 41 00:02:49,350 --> 00:02:54,570 What is a wimp, Dr. Hartley? Well, it's a slang expression for a weak, 42 00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:55,720 ineffectual person. 43 00:02:57,790 --> 00:02:58,840 Close enough. 44 00:03:00,990 --> 00:03:03,530 A wimp is a guy who can't stand up to his own wife. 45 00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,820 But I think that Mr. Peterson is making progress with his wife. 46 00:03:06,830 --> 00:03:08,690 He's even brought a note to prove it. 47 00:03:08,691 --> 00:03:11,429 Doris wrote me a love letter today, Dr. Hartley. 48 00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:13,290 Is the letter in her own hoof writing? 49 00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,410 That's enough of that, Mr. Carlin. 50 00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:20,430 Do you mind if I read the note in front of the group? Oh, of course not. 51 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:23,250 Something this beautiful deserves to be shared. 52 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:28,380 Dear Emil, come straight home after group or I'll remodel your face. 53 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,910 Well, I'm glad that you and Doris are getting along. 54 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:38,179 Why don't we turn to Mr. Plager? Mr. Plager, you haven't been able to get a 55 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:39,039 in edgewise. 56 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:43,379 That's okay. I doubt that anybody would be interested in anything that I had to 57 00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:46,210 say. What did you say, Plager? I wasn't paying attention. 58 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:52,999 Mr. Carlin, you must listen more carefully. We all want Mr. Plager to 59 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,080 perfectly free to drone on all he wants to. 60 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,160 That's a very good thought, Mr. Baker. 61 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,180 Now, Mr. Plager, you were saying? 62 00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:05,840 Well, none of my writing sells. 63 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:10,199 I mean, I've been trying to write for television, and they just don't buy my 64 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,480 stuff. What kind of stuff are you writing? 65 00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:16,768 Well, I read where there's too much violence in TV, so I've written a whole 66 00:04:16,769 --> 00:04:19,510 kind of cop show. What is that? Police Barber. 67 00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:22,510 Sounds like a hit to me. 68 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,050 Well, the networks hated it. 69 00:04:25,330 --> 00:04:31,250 And then I came up with a concept for a whole different kind of wildlife show. 70 00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:33,530 Animals that lived in the city. 71 00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:35,430 Flies, roaches, rats. 72 00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:37,930 And I called it Berman Kingdom. 73 00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:41,430 They didn't like that. 74 00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:45,009 Well, they liked it, but they said they couldn't find a time slot. 75 00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:48,969 So then I came up with, I think, the best idea I've ever had. I'm on the edge 76 00:04:48,970 --> 00:04:54,410 my seat. Why not have a show to raise money to fight an easy disease? 77 00:04:54,411 --> 00:04:55,689 What do you have in mind? 78 00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:57,390 A telethon for chapped lips. 79 00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:04,690 Well, I think we all would like to see that stamped out during our lifetime. 80 00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:08,370 Maybe the theater is your cup of tea, Mr. Plager. 81 00:05:08,650 --> 00:05:11,240 Yeah, you'd be turned on by a better class of people. 82 00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:15,929 I think theater's a good idea. Have you ever written a drama, Mr. Plager? No, I 83 00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:17,990 haven't, but maybe I'd be good at it. 84 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,380 Maybe you would. I mean, it's important in life to take chances. 85 00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:25,909 As a matter of fact, I devote an entire chapter of that in my book. Let me just 86 00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:29,130 read a bit of it to you. My goodness, look how late it's getting. 87 00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:31,030 The session always goes by so fast. 88 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,390 I'm getting out of here. 89 00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:36,410 My goodness. 90 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,360 Well, I guess I better start to work on my play. 91 00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:47,460 I hope you all get anxiety attacks on your way home. 92 00:05:47,911 --> 00:05:54,279 Emily, couldn't you do these chemistry experiments somewhere else? 93 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,139 Like where? 94 00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:56,190 Milwaukee. 95 00:05:57,220 --> 00:06:00,950 Well, if this doesn't work, we're going to be blowing by there pretty soon. 96 00:06:00,951 --> 00:06:04,119 You're sure you know what you're doing? Of course. 97 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,759 I mean, if I'm going to fill in for the chemistry teacher on Monday, I've got to 98 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,020 learn these experiments. 99 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,890 Now, I want you to pay attention or you won't get recess. 100 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:15,270 Do I get extra credit for knowing where the teacher is ticklish? 101 00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,920 Now, look at this. 102 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,050 Voila. 103 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,200 Now, do you know what we have here? 104 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,150 Yes, a tribe of Indians gathering in the parking lot. 105 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,340 No, we have salt water. 106 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,540 Plain, ordinary salt water. 107 00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:33,460 And it's proof I'm supposed to drink it. 108 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,679 Emily, you aren't really going to drink that. 109 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,279 Well, it is part of the demonstration, and the book says it's perfectly safe. 110 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,330 Who wrote the book? 111 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,420 The late Dr. 112 00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:49,339 Jonathan... I think I'll drink it tomorrow. I wouldn't want to get hooked 113 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,390 this stuff. 114 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,760 I think scientists always try it on a guinea pig first. 115 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:55,750 Hi, Bob. Hi, Emily. 116 00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:03,590 Howard, would you leave the door open? I want to... 117 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,080 Oh, boy, fondue. 118 00:07:07,311 --> 00:07:12,299 Emily is conducting some chemistry experiments. 119 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:18,359 Howard, look at this. You see, you drop a little of this into this and to your 120 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,410 health. 121 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,640 Well, thanks. I'm on the wagon. 122 00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:24,280 Howard is perfectly harmless. 123 00:07:24,281 --> 00:07:28,039 I got a flight coming up and the airline frowns on smoking, especially from the 124 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,090 ears. 125 00:07:29,091 --> 00:07:33,039 All right, look. I will make the supreme sacrifice in the interest of science. 126 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,090 I will drink it. 127 00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:21,300 That's all right. Come on in. 128 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:23,980 This is my wife, Emily. Hello. How are you doing? 129 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,900 Our neighbor, Howard Ward. Hello. 130 00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:30,479 Well, what can I do for you? You know, a couple of weeks ago, Doctor, you and 131 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,160 the group suggested I write a play. 132 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,519 Of course. Yeah, well, I wrote one, and I submitted it. Today, I found out the 133 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,819 Neighborhood Playhouse is going to produce it, and I get to direct. 134 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,440 Oh, Mr. Plager, that's wonderful. 135 00:08:41,441 --> 00:08:44,599 I'm very proud of you. Yeah, I love the theater. I always go. 136 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,239 Well, what's the last thing you've seen? 137 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,020 Well, the last time I was in Baltimore, I saw Tina, an amazing frog. 138 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:53,200 What's the play about? 139 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:57,380 Well, Tina comes on the stage with this... Not you, Howard. 140 00:08:58,460 --> 00:09:04,199 Mr. Flager? Well, it's about men and women thrown together in the crucible of 141 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,380 war -torn Europe. 142 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:10,480 It's about death and destruction and helplessness and dying. 143 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,850 Okay, but I've never seen a good show without a frog before. 144 00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:19,330 Doesn't look like a theater to me. 145 00:09:19,331 --> 00:09:22,469 This is the rehearsal hall. The theater's upstairs. 146 00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:25,600 What are we doing here? Nobody ever comes down to watch me work. 147 00:09:25,601 --> 00:09:29,169 Well, we could do that, Mr. Carlin. What are you involved in now? 148 00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:30,670 I'm subdividing a playground. 149 00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:33,880 Well, here you are. 150 00:09:33,881 --> 00:09:36,629 Listen, I want to thank you all for coming. 151 00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,769 Well, thank you very much for inviting us. It's okay. Let me tell the actors 152 00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:40,820 that you're here. 153 00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:42,509 Places, everyone. 154 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:43,560 Mr. Plater? 155 00:09:43,610 --> 00:09:47,289 We're all excited about your play. I can't wait to see it. Well, thank you. I 156 00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:51,189 want to remind you, this is a rehearsal, and I would like to tell you a little 157 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:54,850 about it. It's called All Noisy on the Western Front. 158 00:09:55,530 --> 00:10:00,610 It takes place in a trench somewhere in France during World War I. 159 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:04,850 We'll take the first scene through the major's entrance, okay? 160 00:10:05,290 --> 00:10:10,489 And you'll have to imagine a world war going on with explosions and shell 161 00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:11,429 bursts, okay? 162 00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:12,950 That'll be easy. I'm a veteran. 163 00:10:12,951 --> 00:10:14,519 So am I. 164 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:15,840 You weren't in the service. 165 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,330 Maybe not, but I sat through a bridge too far. 166 00:10:21,660 --> 00:10:22,710 Okay, ready? 167 00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:24,470 Curtain. 168 00:10:29,340 --> 00:10:30,390 Oh, 169 00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:34,360 all this shelling has made me drop a stick. 170 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,520 a big one if you're going to fit your duffel in it. 171 00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:51,910 Those Hun guys really mean business. 172 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,010 What do you think got them so mad? 173 00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:57,440 I'll bet it was that swampland you sold them for a marching field. 174 00:10:57,441 --> 00:11:02,249 Listen, Bill boy, are you saying I've been dealing with the Hun? Well, 175 00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,300 knows you have. 176 00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:05,730 Harley, do you see what they're doing? 177 00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:07,750 We'll talk about it later. 178 00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:12,510 I hope the shelling lets up soon. I have to feed the troops. 179 00:11:12,511 --> 00:11:16,549 I think they prefer the shelling. At least when you get shot, it only hurts 180 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,600 one place. 181 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:22,010 I'll have you know, I was one of the best marine cooks in the Pacific. 182 00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:26,370 When the men ate my chip beef on toast, they volunteered for suicide missions. 183 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,290 Mr. Peterson, sit down. It's just a play. 184 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:36,770 Okay, give me the secret note. Okay, here. Here, but be careful. 185 00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:40,570 If it falls into enemy hands, Doris will remodel my face. 186 00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:43,940 Give it to me. 187 00:11:46,350 --> 00:11:47,400 There. 188 00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:51,230 Now if it falls into enemy hands, at least it'll be worth it. 189 00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:59,190 Dr. Hartley, they are portraying me as a wanton woman. 190 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:04,070 When a customer in the store asks for a tart, the manager will point at me. 191 00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:09,310 Oh, I wish Major Hartman was here. He'd know what to do. 192 00:12:10,010 --> 00:12:12,070 Oh, golly. Golly, look at this uniform. 193 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,170 If I get it any dirtier, Doris is going to kill me. 194 00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:19,720 Dr. Hartman, they're portraying me as a spineless, wishy -washy, pansy face. 195 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:24,800 That's not true, Mr. Peterson. Shut up, you spineless, wishy -washy, pansy face. 196 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,620 Oh, here comes Major Hartman. Now we're saved. 197 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,020 Oh, Major Hartman, over here, over here. At ease, men. 198 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:39,179 Nurse. We're saved. How can we ever thank you, Major Hartman? That won't be 199 00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:42,550 necessary. I'm here to help you get in touch with your troop platoon. 200 00:12:42,551 --> 00:12:45,979 Well, that's all the time we have left for today's briefing. 201 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:48,980 We can all go home now. I just wiped out the enemy. 202 00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,670 And cut. 203 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:51,930 Okay. 204 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,890 Okay, Flaker. You're going to hear from my lawyers. 205 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,620 You've made me look like a coward. 206 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:01,880 I'll have you know I served extra helpings to MacArthur. 207 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:04,380 How dare you portray me as a hussy. 208 00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:09,020 If my store manager sees this, he will have me back picking spiders often. 209 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,900 Well, uh, Dr. Hartley, what did you think of it? 210 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,020 It worked for me. 211 00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:28,230 Hi, 212 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:30,530 Dr. Hartley. 213 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:32,500 Hi. Hi, Mr. Flaker. 214 00:13:34,260 --> 00:13:35,310 Hi, uh, Mrs. 215 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,410 Bakerman. 216 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,160 Mr. Peterson, Mr. Carlin. 217 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,580 It's good, uh, good to see you're back. 218 00:13:43,331 --> 00:13:50,559 It's sometimes, you know, starting off a session with a little joke kind of 219 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:51,820 relieves the tension. 220 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:55,380 And then sometimes it doesn't. 221 00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:08,179 We are afraid to talk in front of Mr. Plager for fear of being exposed and 222 00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,230 exploited. 223 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:13,890 I guess this has something to do with your play. 224 00:14:14,390 --> 00:14:16,190 I'm willing to discuss it. 225 00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:18,330 Well, that should get the ball rolling. 226 00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:23,860 Would any of you want to tell us what's troubling you? 227 00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:26,790 I feel I've been violated. 228 00:14:28,430 --> 00:14:29,770 I wouldn't mind that. 229 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,610 I feel I've been ridiculed. 230 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:39,550 Plaguer has portrayed me as a greedy, materialistic, money -grabbing 231 00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:40,820 I want it to stop. 232 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,850 or else give me a percentage of the profits. 233 00:14:43,851 --> 00:14:49,899 We feel Mr. Plager has put things in his play that should never have left this 234 00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:54,479 room. Look, I'll admit that the characters are based on real people, but 235 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,939 disguised them so that they're not recognizable. 236 00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:57,759 What Mr. 237 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,100 Plager is saying is, Mr. 238 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:04,660 Peterson, that isn't you in that foxhole. That's simply a cowering, 239 00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:08,120 henpecked Peterson type. 240 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:16,260 I'm suing. I was only trying to capture the essence of men at war. 241 00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:19,330 How about if we haul your essence into court, Plager? 242 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,580 Our mutual trust has been breached. 243 00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:26,530 Hasn't it, Mrs. Bakerman? Not only that, but we've been made to look silly. 244 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:31,360 The nurse in the play is doing straight knitting, and I knit and purl. 245 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,620 Well, I'm sure we can work something out. Mr. 246 00:15:35,621 --> 00:15:39,609 Plager, you wouldn't mind making a few little changes in your play, would you? 247 00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:43,670 Well, I guess all great works have been rewritten. 248 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,080 Fine. Now, Mr. 249 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,840 Carlin, do you have any suggestions on what Mr. Plaker can do with his play? 250 00:15:51,770 --> 00:15:53,410 Let me rephrase that. 251 00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:54,980 I know what you mean. 252 00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:58,929 I got an idea for a change. Why don't you make my character more lovable, like 253 00:15:58,930 --> 00:15:59,980 me? 254 00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:02,480 And the corporal shouldn't be such a wimp. 255 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:07,629 I think the nurse should be nicer, sweeter, smarter, and built like a brick 256 00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:08,680 bunker. 257 00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:14,159 Now, wait a minute. I don't think we can completely destroy the integrity of Mr. 258 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,699 Plager's play. Oh, sure, you can say that, because you look like a hero in 259 00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:22,379 play. I wasn't affected one way or the other by my character in the play. What 260 00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:29,319 I mean to 261 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,819 say is let's allow Mr. Plager to make some changes and then see if that meets 262 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:34,870 with our acceptance. 263 00:16:34,970 --> 00:16:37,440 All right, I'll work on it this afternoon at home. 264 00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:40,730 You better make those changes good, or I'll sick Doris on you. 265 00:16:41,070 --> 00:16:45,429 If you cross me, Mr. Plager, I will see that you are single -bagged in every 266 00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:46,690 grocery store in town. 267 00:16:46,691 --> 00:16:51,629 I better like it, Plager, or all you'll be writing is checks to Carlin 268 00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:52,680 Enterprises. 269 00:16:54,910 --> 00:17:01,389 Dr. Hartley, tell me, did you have to rewrite your book a lot before it was 270 00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:03,870 published? You know, it's funny you should ask. 271 00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:07,640 One chapter is always sometimes more difficult than another. 272 00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:12,108 I remember chapter six, I had a great deal of trouble with the... The 273 00:17:12,109 --> 00:17:16,789 felt that the stimulus response... Well, I guess I'd better get started on the 274 00:17:16,790 --> 00:17:17,840 rewrite. 275 00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:22,550 I guess we can say that writing is lonely work. 276 00:17:25,829 --> 00:17:27,690 Not as lonely as talking about it. 277 00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:38,300 You know, Emily, this is my idea of a romantic evening. 278 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:42,130 Bunsen burner, speaker of wine and doubt. 279 00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:46,849 Well, honey, I'm sorry about the chemicals. It's just for one more night, 280 00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:48,410 just pretend they're not there. 281 00:17:48,411 --> 00:17:51,869 You know, Emily, I've always had a problem ignoring things that are 282 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:52,920 my dinner table. 283 00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:57,490 Honey, that's just N -A -C -O -2 and a pinch of H -O -6. 284 00:17:58,050 --> 00:17:59,490 Just like Mother used to make. 285 00:18:01,090 --> 00:18:03,200 That's just as well. I'm not hungry anyway. 286 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:05,330 Bad time at the group today. 287 00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:08,280 Oh, are they still upset about Mr. Plager's play? 288 00:18:08,281 --> 00:18:11,429 Oh, they were. Then I had Mr. Plager make some changes in his play. 289 00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:12,480 Well, did it help? 290 00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:15,320 I'm not sure I told him to do the right thing. 291 00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:17,490 Bob, is Mr. Plager's play any good? 292 00:18:18,150 --> 00:18:22,590 Emily, if it were to drop from an airplane, it would wipe out an entire 293 00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:27,900 Am I late? 294 00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:31,490 I didn't know you were coming. 295 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:32,850 Oh, good then, I'm early. 296 00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,980 Here, Howard. Have some salad. 297 00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:37,980 Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. 298 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,130 Spicy dressing. 299 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:49,650 Howard, you may have come up with the first self -tossing salad. 300 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,100 That's fulminated mercury. 301 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,950 I thought fulminated mercury was a brand of tuna. 302 00:19:04,401 --> 00:19:06,469 to go on. 303 00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:07,520 Oh, thank you. 304 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:10,420 But you didn't tell me Mr. Plager's play was a comedy. 305 00:19:10,421 --> 00:19:16,369 Emily, I didn't know it was a comedy. I don't think Mr. Plager knew it was a 306 00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:19,189 comedy. I wonder how he felt about the audience laughing. 307 00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:20,690 I'm ruined, Dr. Berkley. 308 00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:24,710 Oh, Mr. Plager, the audience enjoyed the play. They laughed at it. 309 00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:26,390 It stinks and I stink. 310 00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:32,070 That's not true. I felt that your play was truly unforgettable. 311 00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:35,000 Really? 312 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,330 It's going to take me a long time to erase it from my memory. 313 00:19:38,331 --> 00:19:41,639 You're just saying that to make me feel better. 314 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,700 No, no, I'm not. As a matter of fact, Emily felt the same way. 315 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,480 Did you, Mrs. Hartley? 316 00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:51,160 Mr. Plager, a play like yours comes along once in a lifetime. 317 00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:53,750 I hope. 318 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:59,300 You two are wonderful, but it's no use trying to cheer me up. My play is a 319 00:19:59,301 --> 00:20:02,939 Now, don't be too hard on yourself. I mean, it's wonderful to be able to make 320 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:03,990 people laugh. 321 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,240 What a wonderful play. 322 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,200 Howard, why are you crying? 323 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,340 I never realized World War I was so gripping. 324 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:25,439 Well, I'm so happy that somebody in the audience understood what I was trying to 325 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,420 do. Everybody else was laughing. 326 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,360 I hope your group enjoyed it. 327 00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:32,020 The group was here? 328 00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:35,870 Yes, I saw them sitting in the back when I went out for my third hamburger. 329 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,660 Well, I hope you'll excuse me. 330 00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,060 Gotta run. 331 00:20:43,061 --> 00:20:44,069 Where are you going? 332 00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:47,860 Well, I just remembered how beautiful my apartment is at this time of night. 333 00:20:47,861 --> 00:20:52,429 Well, I hope you're satisfied, Plager. Uh, you can't sue me, Carlin. I don't 334 00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:54,660 have any money. Hey, forget it. I like the play. 335 00:20:54,661 --> 00:20:55,849 You did? 336 00:20:55,850 --> 00:20:58,800 Yeah, I'm still not too crazy about you, but I like the play. 337 00:20:58,801 --> 00:21:02,109 No, the people seemed to like my character. I mean, they were laughing 338 00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:06,689 applauding. Well, I'm glad you weren't upset, Mr. Carlin. I do have a 339 00:21:06,690 --> 00:21:07,740 for you, though. 340 00:21:07,770 --> 00:21:08,910 Why don't you, uh... 341 00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:10,730 lose the other characters? 342 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,190 Who wants to see a wimp in an old bag? 343 00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:17,690 Why don't you make it like a one -man show? Call it Elliot Carlin. Tonight. 344 00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:21,500 Oh, bud? 345 00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:25,029 Why don't you put a little more hostility into your rudeness? 346 00:21:25,030 --> 00:21:26,530 Mind your own business, creep. 347 00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:35,749 How'd you like it if I bought this theater and put you on the business end 348 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:36,800 broom? 349 00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:39,870 How'd you like it if I swept all the dirt under your rug? 350 00:21:42,140 --> 00:21:43,680 God, I love this guy. 351 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,890 Oh, hi. I'm glad you could make it. You were wonderful tonight. 352 00:21:51,891 --> 00:21:53,499 Thanks. Would you like to go out for a bite later? 353 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,139 You bet. 354 00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,550 Let me know when you're ready for the real thing. 355 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,490 He liked it. 356 00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:04,100 Now that I think about it, it was pretty funny. 357 00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:16,100 the notice is in. You mean you aren't upset either? I thought it was 358 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,480 I thought it was buffo. 359 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,400 Did you hear the laughs I got? 360 00:22:19,620 --> 00:22:24,760 Well, I did write some pretty good jokes, but that's easy when you know 361 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:31,100 Now, where is the engineer who plays me so charmingly? Oh, there she is. 362 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:37,260 My dear. Well, the gift to amuse, Dr. Hartley, is very rare. 363 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,160 Either you have it or you don't. 364 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:41,890 I'm with you so far. 365 00:22:44,540 --> 00:22:46,380 Mr. Plager, I loved it. 366 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,980 Oh, Emil, of course. I knew you would. I thought it was terrific. 367 00:22:49,981 --> 00:22:53,859 Did you hear them laughing at me? They even laughed at Doris. I even laughed at 368 00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:55,780 Doris. I didn't think that was possible. 369 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:56,930 You're too kind. 370 00:22:56,931 --> 00:23:00,659 I want to talk to the actor that played me. I don't think he understands the 371 00:23:00,660 --> 00:23:01,980 true meaning of wimpiness. 372 00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:08,020 You know, Dr. Hartley, this is the most wonderful night of my life. 373 00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:11,670 And I want to take some photos to remember it by. Would you excuse me? 374 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,250 Hello, Dr. Harley. 375 00:23:14,380 --> 00:23:16,660 I'm Phil Morgan. Oh, nice to meet you. 376 00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:18,510 It's uncanny. 377 00:23:19,271 --> 00:23:26,539 Well, I hope you enjoyed my portrayal of Major Hartman. I couldn't have picked 378 00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:27,620 anyone better myself. 379 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,960 Come on, Bob, let's go home. 380 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,180 You two ought to wear name tags. 381 00:23:40,260 --> 00:23:44,659 Hi. Hi. Bob's been telling me all week what a good job Mr. Plager did on the 382 00:23:44,660 --> 00:23:48,270 casting, but I didn't believe it till tonight. Well, thank you very much. 383 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,860 Pleasure. Well, everybody, it's time for the group photo. Move up on stage, Dr. 384 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,170 Hartley. 385 00:23:54,780 --> 00:23:56,400 Just kind of move in. 386 00:23:57,060 --> 00:24:01,160 Mrs. Hartley, I wonder if you'd take the photo. I really want to be in it. Oh, 387 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,580 of course. Thank you. Sure. 388 00:24:03,980 --> 00:24:05,030 Okay. 389 00:24:07,381 --> 00:24:11,669 move to the back. You're blocking everybody. 390 00:24:11,670 --> 00:24:12,720 Oh, I'm sorry. 391 00:24:16,401 --> 00:24:18,499 Okay. 392 00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:23,050 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32794

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