All language subtitles for Paper.Tigers.2015.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG

- Shit!

I'll kick the crap out
of you right now--

you talk shit?

- Ow, fuck.

Ahh!

Aw, fuck.

- Shit.
- Next time I'll be serious!

You want to fight again?

You want to go?

[speaking indistinctly]

- Hey.
- Back off!

I thought
we learned better than that.

I thought we learned better
than that.

[boys screaming
and shouting indistinctly]

[boy cheers]

[moody atmospheric music]

[shoes squeaking]

- I didn't want
to come here,

because I heard bad stories
about it.

*

- I did hear
that it was the worst school

you could ever go to.

- It's where the bad kids went,

and I didn't want to go there
because I'd get, you know,

picked on or bullied
or something like that.

[indistinct
police radio chatter]

- When I first came here,
he pissed me off,

and I threw a chair at him.

And I told him
I was gonna kill him.

[chair clatters]

- All the kids
at that point, pretty much,

had been forced to be here.
They weren't here by choice.

You know, and to have a student
come walking through the door

that would just be on a bunch
of uppers of something,

you know--
and kick over a table,

tell me to fuck off,
tell someone else to fuck off,

and then roll out
the back door, you know?

This place was a zoo.

*

- I remember,
for the first two weeks,

just going,

"This is absolute chaos"--

very gang-affiliated.
Kids from juvie.

Kids had knives.
There were fights all over.

It was just,
like, one thing after another,

and I just kept thinking,
"Who's here to do something?

Like, no one's really doing
anything."

[siren wails]

*

- I kept saying to myself,

"Somebody needs
to get over there

and help those kids."

[school bell ringing]

[moody atmospheric music]

[kids chattering indistinctly]

*

[traffic whooshing]

[grass rustling]

[train whistle blowing
distantly]

[dog barking distantly]

[kids chattering indistinctly]

[horn honks]

- In every school in America,

walking down
every street in America,

there are the kids
that get labeled.

The labeling of those kids is,
"Get rid of 'em.

"They're nothing but trouble.

"We're gonna be paying
for their welfare.

They're all gonna be in jail."

[school bell ringing]

Hey, guys.

How are you?

To create change
when they're 16, 17, 18

that should've been addressed
back when they were 5, 6, 7--

it's hard work.

- I mean, I don't think that
they're gonna come on campus,

but if--if you have a visual and
they start to walk on campus,

definitely let
us know right away,

'cause we can come out
for that.

- Roger that.

- Hey, Jim.
- Yeah?

- Do you--I got to talk to you
on something real quick.

- When I walked in,

it was the most out-of-control
environment I have ever seen.

- Jessie stopped me
and said that, um--

she's out there
accusing multiple kids--

this is, like, obviously
before we got her contained--

but multiple boys of rape.

- So DeeDee's
pulling her back in--

- So that--yeah.
- 100%, so.

The teachers here
really cared about the kids,

but the behavior pieces
really took over the building.

- Hey, Cody's on campus.
- What?

- Cody is on campus.
- Right now?

- Yes.

- I don't want to be
the first phone call.

Start engaging these families.

I didn't know if I was gonna
be able to pull it around.

I don't want to
hear them say--

But what's really cool
about today--

About two and a half years ago,

I was invited
to go to a conference.

I'd heard about
the ACEs research

but really didn't know
anything about it.

The keynote speaker,
he talked about complex trauma

and what stress
does to the brain,

and it was so compelling.

- So let's see.

Where do we start?

Think about this
in your head.

I want to know,
have you or someone you know--

this doesn't have
to be personal about just you--

I want to know if you've ever
had trouble controlling emotion,

if you often get
super mad,

easier than other people
may get super mad.

Do you ever find yourself
spacing off

when you need to focus?

Like, do you
feel the pressure of

"This thing needs to
get done right now,"

and the more
you feel that,

the less you do?

Frequent stomachaches
and headaches?

And do you
get sick often?

And actually, I have a brain
scan here on this next picture.

Let me--let me
show you this.

So here's two brains,
okay?

- In education, we're not
supposed to say kids--

it's out of their control.

- These are that part
that I was talking about.

- But the neuroscience
tells us that students

that are coming to us
with toxic stress,

their home environments
are so unpredictable

that they're having
to adjust constantly.

And this is during
critical brain development.

That's what hit--it hit me,

and it hit me really hard.

- You're always on edge.

Impulsivity--

these are all things

that are affects of growing up
with a lot of stress, okay?

So what are
some of those stressors?

How many of you here said that--
you said you've heard of ACEs?

How many of you?
- Yeah.

- Come on.
- Raise your hand.

You have.

- What is it?
- All right, here's ACEs.

ACEs was a study
done in San Diego,

and they looked at thousands
of people's records--

their health records.

They looked at these items that
I have on the board right here.

Here are a group of things
that can cause people

to have stress in their life
when they're growing up.

Things like divorce,
alcoholism,

heart disease,
depression--

those are some pretty
heavy things, right?

Does everyone
have their clickers?

So on your clickers,

click in how many
of those of the ten--

how many would you say
would be true for you.

It's anonymous.

Type--count how many of those
are true,

and punch that number
and hit enter.

There we go.

Okay, so here we go.

Look at this for a second.

13 of the 17 people
in this room--

this has been true
of their experience,

growing up
with at least five.

Four of you were at eight
of these things that are true.

- That's crazy.

- What does that mean,
you guys?

What does that mean?

This shows me that there's

a lot of brains in here
right now

that are wired for survival,

and that might just maybe

emotionally be a little on edge.

So let's--let me go
to this next thing, then.

Let me show you this next piece.

- I'm not gonna
be different.

I like the person I am.

- That's not
what I'm gonna ask.

- They're like asking,
like,

you know, you don't want to be
like your family is, you know?

Like that kind of--
like that kind of different.

- Oh, shit.
Well, yeah.

I'm already different.
- Yeah, but check it out.

You ready for this?
- Yeah.

- 'Cause this is the part
that's super heavy.

Sometimes, I don't
want to even say it,

'cause I think it's that heavy.

You ready for heavy?

- So ready.

- 20 years ago,

those adults would've been
sitting here in this room

saying, "I'm so different.

"There's no way I'm gonna cause
a life of stress for my kids.

The cycle's gonna stop
with me."

So how do you
sit here now

and say the same things
they said

and have it actually
turn out differently?

[school bell ringing]

All right,
see you guys.

Hey, you guys!
- Yeah?

- I love you guys. I mean it.
- I love you, Gordon.

- I was hunting everywhere
for the curriculum.

It's not a curriculum.

So it was finally trying
to figure out, "Okay,

how do you take this theory
and put it into practice?"

- Let's go outside.

- I'm gonna go make some porn.

- [laughs]

- You want to join?
- Sure.

- So what class are you in?

- Pottery.

- Pottery?
- Yeah.

- How come you had
this video camera in pottery?

- Here, hold this.

Because, uh--because fuck it.

I'm the video camera emperor.

- Okay.

- I just had a problem
with authority.

Like, why do you even care
what I do with my life?

Because it's my life,

and I can do
what I want with it.

That's actually
what the camera's for.

It's just for me
to document my piece.

It's for the doc.
I started skipping.

And I'd meet up
with my friends,

and we'd walk around
or something--

go smoke weed or something,

or, I don't know--

drink or something stupid,

or just sit around
and do nothing.

Because doing nothing
was better than being at school

and being harassed
about everything, you know?

Agh!
No!

So close,

but so far away.

As it turns out,
they don't let you

just not go to school
all the time,

and I got put on, like,
diversion.

- Where you're at right now--

I mean, it's that bad
right now.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause that's usually
my fear of calling CPS,

is that it's gonna make things
worse for you at home.

And that's the last thing
I want to do.

You know what I mean?
Um...

- For a long time,
I didn't like Brooke,

because she was just that lady

that kept putting me
back in the city courts.

- What I want you to do
is stick around.

Don't just leave.
If you feel like--

I actually worked at the
Washington State Penitentiary

as a guard for about a year.

You know, one of the questions
when I got the job here was,

you know, "How are you gonna
feel about kids that, you know,

"are juvenile delinquents,
or, you know, could--

could do some--you know,
be angry and throw fits?"

And I kept thinking, "Well,

it's not going to be anything
like the dude doing life

up at the pen," you know?

I would say we do home visits
probably two, maybe three,

days a week, if we can--

in the morning, before things
start getting hectic.

I would say--not always
because kids aren't coming.

There's a variety
of reasons we do it,

but this one in particular
is because he hasn't shown up.

So we're gonna find out
what's going on.

We did get a bus pass
for him.

So we're gonna
give that to him,

see if that helps him
get to school.

Here we are.

- That side?
- Yeah.

- It got to the point
where it was like she

knew certain places
that I was staying,

even if they weren't
necessarily at my house.

And she would, like,
knock on the door there

and find me all hungover
and shitty-like,

and try and get
me to come to school.

I was just like,
"I'm not here."

Like, "Tell her I'm not here."

[gentle guitar music]

*

I was kind of
put in this position

where I either
started going to school,

or I was going to end up
being arrested

for not going to school.

And so I was like,

"I should probably just,

you know,
get my shit together."

But I started getting
in trouble for other things.

So I was in
my computer apps class,

and I pulled the lighter
out of my pocket.

- I have one young man
that came in.

He was flicking a lighter
in class.

- I'm pretty sure that I said
some pretty mean things,

and I ended up in,
like, Sporleder's office.

- I brought him in, and I said,

you know, "I--I--
I need your lighter.

You can't have it at school."

And he says, "Yeah, I'm not
giving it to ya."

- And I was like...

- And I say, "You know,
let's keep it simple.

Just hand me your lighter."

"No."

But I do need to be consistent.

"I need your lighter."

Finally, I said,
"It's really not a choice...

- So, like, whatever...

- "You have to give
me the lighter."

He went out and screamed,

"F you, Sporleder,"

and flipped me off
outside the window here.

- I ended up getting escorted
off the property by the cops.

- Too much fun.

- A few years ago,

that would've been
a five-day suspension.

And then, I would've
made it very clear

that he's not gonna
speak to me that way--

or speak to anybody that way.

- And so it's a house
full of turmoil.

He looked really down,

and just feels like everything--
everybody's quitting on him.

- I mean, that's the hard part,
is the--

But I called his dad,

and I said, "I want him back
in school tomorrow morning."

And he showed up.

And what I had found out is,

his mother left town
with no warning whatsoever.

She just was gone--
abandoned him.

It had nothing
to do with the lighter.

So when he came in,
I was able to say,

"My gosh,
I heard about your mom.

I'm so sorry."

- He had a conference

with my dad and I and Brooke,

and they started to explain
the little target thing

that he has on his desk.

You know,
the green's whatever--

like, you're okay.

The yellow's like you're
kind of not in a great mood,

so you'll be more likely

to react negatively
to a situation.

And red's just, like,

you shouldn't be
making any decision right now,

because you're too emotionally
involved with the situation.

It's weird, 'cause it's one
of the first times that, like,

a principal had ever,
like, actually spoken to me

about something
other than, like, punishment.

After that, I was--
I don't know.

He wasn't only a discipline
figure in my life.

He was someone who was willing
to allow me to talk to him

if I had a problem
bothering me,

or just to say hi,
you know?

Like a friend sort of deal.

For rights, you have the right
to a fair trial,

the right to freedom of speech--

- So five days out, what would
I have achieved there?

Put him in-school suspension;

now he's using a process
to help learn the triggers.

- Yeah.
[cheers and applause]

- He's not without anger,

but his explosions
are just getting

further and further apart.

- What about if somebody
gets in trouble?

Where do they go?

[indistinct chatter]

- And so I peeled him
off the ceiling,

[laughs]

and we had a pretty good
afternoon.

But he--

I would love to see if we
could figure out a way--

I mean, the kid's
clearly calling out

in every inappropriate
way he can.

Growing up in a real
fundamentalist environment--

fundamentalist family--

there was--there was plenty
to rebel against.

And for some reason, I just got
that rebellious bug as a kid.

And I was the defiant kid.

His Facebook is just nothing
but sadness and loneliness,

and not the raging asshole
that you might think it is.

So I guess I've always loved
the kid with some attitude--

some kid with some "F you"
in him.

And I knew
that this was the building

that I wanted to be in,
'cause this is where--

this is where the kids
with spirit and spunk--

and this was where the--
the kids that--

that were just real, you know?

They--they didn't have--

either they didn't have
the desire or ability

to cover up what they really
had going on inside.

- [laughs]

- Gordon!

- Fine, then.
Be that way.

- Gordon, say "bye"
to the camera.

- Ahh!

- Dianna, Dianna, Dianna.

- I'm saying that's
100 bucks for me.

That's more important.
- Oh, 100 bucks for you?

- You keep 9.
I get 100.

- Oh, oh,
are you for real?

- I don't know
that she's come into my room

without yelling my name,

like, "Hey, Gordon!"

It's very almost Kramer-esque,

her entrance--
which is just her personality.

- I would fall,
like when those giraffes are--

the baby the giraffes are born,

and they fall on the floor--

that's how I would fall.

Jump out of the swing--

oh, oh, oh.

- It's huge.
It's explosive.

It's explosive with joy,

and it's explosive with anger.

- Gordon--at first,
when I got here, I--

I hated his ass.

I threw a chair at him.

You can ask him. I got a chair,
and I threw at at his ass.

I was like, "Fuck you."
And then he was like--

he was like, "Go to the office."
And I was like, "What?"

I was like,
"They're not gonna save you."

I was like "The school's not
gonna save you

outside of school."

And he was like,
"Is that a threat?"

And I'm like, "Fuck, yeah,
it's a threat."

[indistinct chatter]

- I don't even remember
why she threw the chair.

To be honest,
it was oftentimes stuff

that was so benign that it
wasn't even worth remembering.

- My mom is like,
"If somebody disrespects you,

you go after them."

And she would tell me,
"If you're gonna fight somebody,

you better beat their ass.

"'Cause if you come home
and you didn't beat their ass,

I'm beating your ass
when you come home."

- In an intense situation--

like a tiger jumps
out of the jungle at you--

your brain
floods with cortisol.

- My mom socked my little
brother in the face.

She would do that to me
all the time.

- It's fight or flight.

Either you're eaten

or you're safe.

And over
the next eight minutes,

your cortisol comes back down,

and you're back
to a normal level.

- My oldest brother--she
burned his hands on the stove.

- But if the stressor
doesn't go away,

and you grow up in a home

where you're
continually threatened...

- He tried choking me,
so I called the cops.

- Then a brain starts
to develop to always

be ready for the next threat--

to always be ready
for fight or flight.

- He picked me up,
and he took me in his room,

and he just, like, touched me.

It happened so many times.

- Rage, anger--anything
could set them off.

They don't know the difference
between a real tiger

and a paper tiger.

[dramatic musical flourish]

You have to
unconditionally love them,

and you have to believe
that their behavior

might be out of their control.

And that piece is so hard
for educators to swallow.

And that pill is a bitter,
bitter pill.

It does not feel like you're
setting them up for success

when you know they're gonna
enter a world of hard knocks.

They're gonna have somebody
who's signing their paycheck

that, when they tell them
to fuck off,

they're just gonna fire 'em
on the spot.

They're not gonna look at them
and say, "Are you okay?

"You know, are--how's it going?

"What's going on in your life
right now?

It seems like you're
having a tough day today."

Like, that's not life.

They're never gonna
have that in life.

But you've got to back up
and say, "Okay, wait a minute.

Grounded in research says
the most impactful thing

this kid
can have for their future

is a caring relationship
with a caring adult

that gets them
and truly understands them.

- Dianna is an example

of a student that definitely
has some ACEs in their life--

makes some real
positive changes--

they're at critical risk.

And then, all of a sudden,

she got knocked off her feet.

- So recently,

like three weeks ago,
I got kicked out of my house.

[speaking Spanish]

My mom met this guy at work,

and he's 25 years old.

And I told her
that he's a drug dealer.

He--he stabbed somebody
in California.

My oldest brother's
21 years old.

I'm like,
"He could be your son."

She just went off on me.

She was like, "You're this.
You're a ho.

You're--you know,
you're a bad daughter."

She was like,
"Get your shit and leave."

I'm like, "Dude,
I take care of your kids.

"I feed your kids.
I take your kids to shower.

"I help them.
I go to the soccer game.

"I do everything.
I do homework with them.

You need me.
You can't just kick me out."

And it's like my mom
was the only thing I had.

My dad got killed
when I wasn't even born.

She's the only thing I had.

And for her to abandon me
like that?

I--I wish I can go back...

and never be born again.

[gentle guitar music]

*

- Ooh.

The march of the ducks.

The flight of the ducks.

The swim of the ducks.

Hello, ducks!

"Hello, Aron."

I know I had a hard time
fitting in.

I don't know--I don't really
know about other kids.

Going to school here--

I thought it'd be better
than Wa High,

because then I could just maybe

go about my business unnoticed--

not have to...

interact so much.

And in the beginning,

I was able to just go
about my business unnoticed.

[gentle guitar music]

*

- So, Aron,

let me see if I can
do the face.

He was super quiet,
very morose.

And you asked him a question,

and he would look at you
very mysteriously.

And then he would look away,

as though that's all
he needed to say,

and it would be quiet again.

*

- He would rather go unnoticed,

because he felt
that we were seeing things

that I guess, in his heart,

he felt about himself
at that time.

Any kid--you can't just
walk up to a kid

and go, "No, really,

you're beautiful."

All that's gonna cause
is more distrust,

because they
don't see themselves.

The first goal
with kids like Aron

is just to get eye contact--

just to say something

to see if I can get eye contact
from this kid,

build the relationship,

and move forward from there.

- Okay, you guys,
text-to-world research--

and this is where it
turns into college-level.

When I look at our kids--

I think about this
from time to time,

and it'll be just one student
in particular.

And I'll try to picture them,
like, ten years down the road.

Like, what are they
going to do?

You guys, let's head down.
We'll go down to the labs.

Some of them I can picture.
Some of them I can't.

There should be
some key words you guys

can take out of the question
and plug into Google.

I would like them
to just be able to,

you know, have a family
if that's what they want.

Have--hold down a job--

just contribute and be happy.

That--that's the part
that concerns me.

- That's what I said.

- Aron, why are you film--

- We're supposed
to film anything.

- Not me.

You're not filming me.
- Well, it doesn't--

- You'd better turn it off.

I don't get it.

- Metal talks about what
we don't want to talk about.

[harsh electric guitar notes]

[fast-paced
electric guitar music]

*

My mother's always been...

sort of roller-coastery
with her...

um, how she sees things

and her moods and whatnot.

*

It's a good thing I have music

and a pencil and paper.

Otherwise,
I would possibly be dead

or slitting my wrists by now.

- What if we could take
these kids home

and just show them
what it's like?

I mean,
that's what you want to do.

At the end of the day,
you just want to take 'em home.

But, um, you can't.

You don't.

All right.

- Two, three, four.

[sullen music]

*

- * Oh, Penelope,
are you filled with air? *

* Swallowed oxygen
that makes you float up? *

- I love playing guitar
with him.

I love playing with,
like, several of these guys.

They--I like the fact
that we don't have to talk.

That's--that's the biggest
piece, you know?

The lack of talking,
and then you--

there's still
that communication going on.

I think that's--that's huge.

For some reason, I feel
like that's almost as strong

as anything we ever do
in class.

- * Oh

* Oh-oh-whoa-oh

- Academics
has been very important,

but it falls in second
to the person as a whole,

and, like,
making a better human being--

tools just for,
you know, getting along

and being able to communicate

how they feel and advocating
for themselves,

and just all
these little lessons

and positive encouragement.

- * Oh, Penelope,
are you filled with air? *

- You hope
you have a good interaction

with them on that Friday
or some reason for them--

to get them
to come back on Monday.

- * Will your lungs swell?

* It's depressing me
to see you struggle *

* Oh-whoa-oh

[peppy drumbeat]

- Before here,
I didn't want to get up.

But I think, from day one here,

I liked being here,

and I--I felt
that I should be here.

That was good enough reason
for me to, you know,

get up and go.

- [whistles]

[peppy drumbeat]

- Let's do this before the end
of the period.

We move on to enzymes
starting tomorrow.

So we got to get this done.
- That's due Thursday.

- Mmm.

- Oh, and I'm mashing up
white chocolate chips.

And then I'll put 1 milliliter
in four of these,

and then do
the different tests.

There's four different tests.

There's lipid,
glucose, starch,

and protein.

I have cerebral palsy,

so I was different
than most other kids.

You can't really see it,
but I do.

I guess with cerebral palsy
is that it affects your muscles

in your arms.

And I have it all through
my whole left side of my body,

but I got a real,
real mild case.

In some cases,
it's--it's really bad.

Some kids can't even walk
or talk.

I got lucky.
I can walk.

I can talk.
I can do everything.

But, like, if I have
to do something with my hands,

physically, it's hard.

It didn't really hit me until
I got into, like, junior high.

Then it was a little hard.

Like, I got picked on
a lot of the time

'cause I couldn't do stuff

how other people did sometimes,
so.

I never was really good
at school.

I never found a school
that would help me.

You'd think
if you'd come to a school

that was full of delinquents,
they'd all be jerks,

but they weren't.

Aw, good morning
and today.

I felt like, immediately,
as I came here,

I had tons of people
all around me--

like, friend-wise--
and made lots of friends.

And I fit in.
I felt like I fit in perfect.

Like, I felt normal for once--

an actual normal kid
fitting in.

- Whoo!
Yeah.

- Ring around the rosy!

- Are you gonna go to the--

- There's an obvious
need for it.

I was making
all these referrals

to these outside agencies.

And where the ball would drop
is when these kids leave--

and I'm not saying all--

but when the majority of
these kids leave this building,

their lives are so chaotic
that it's unfair

for me to think that,

"I set up a 3:00 appointment

"out across town
for you to get counseling.

Why didn't you make it?"

"Well, my mom
was passed out on the couch.

I couldn't walk over there
by the time.

I have no money for a bus pass,

and no one else
could come get me."

- Come here.
- I kept going,

"It doesn't matter
if I make these referrals.

"And it doesn't even matter
that they want to go to it.

They don't have access."

And so having--

literally walking out,
you know, 100 yards,

and saying, "Here you go.

"This is what
I was talking about.

Let's get you connected
right now"

has made all the difference
in the world--

I mean, from substance abuse
to counseling.

I mean, I can't even tell you
how many kids haven't seen

a primary care physician
for just a well-child checkup

since they
were in kindergarten.

- And if kids
have a lot of stress,

they make more stomach acid,

and they'll get really,
kind of,

upset stomachs,
where it hurts to eat.

Let's see--and then
I've got your vaccines.

You're all caught up.

And then remind me--
who lives in your family--

mom, dad, brothers, sisters?

- My aunt and my cousin.

- Okay, gotcha.

- My parents were too young
when they had me.

My dad was, I think,
17, and my mom was 21.

They were gonna give me up
for adoption,

but my grandparents said no,

'cause I
was the first grandchild.

So they just took me.

- So on the weekends, do you
have someone to cook for you?

And do you have food
on the weekends?

- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Good.

What's bugging you
these days?

Anything that's kind
of on your mind, or--

- Well, like I don't have
anything that's bugging me.

I don't know.

Like, I don't see
my boyfriend that much.

It, like,
irritates me that, like--

- Yeah, gotcha.

That he, what,
doesn't want to be together?

- No, like, no.
He just--I don't know.

Uh, my best--

well, my--who was my
best friend at the time--

his name is Mark.

We were really close,

and we did get
a little bit closer,

'cause we did start to date
for a little while.

He was--he was a--
I don't want to--

no, I don't want to say
he was violent,

but he's got a couple assault
charges against him and stuff.

For my 18th birthday,

we went out and drank a fifth
of hard liquor.

[kids laughing
and chattering indistinctly]

And all I remember
is they put me in the truck,

and then I passed out.

And then all I remember
is waking up puking everywhere.

I couldn't see anything.

I could hear,
but I couldn't see.

All I saw was a bright light.

The people
that we went with came back

and tried to come check on me,
and Mark wouldn't let them.

He was like, "No, she's fine."

My blood alcohol was .25,
so way over--

yeah, I drank a lot.

The doctor said
I--I could've died.

And he probably
wouldn't have cared.

- Is he kind of possessive
of you, do you think?

- No.
- Okay.

He's not like, "If you're
not back in ten minutes,

I'll know you've been
cheating on me" kind of thing.

- No.

- All right.
There are some guys like that.

- I would, like,
go crazy.

- I think the biggest failure
we have right now

with these young girls

is not acknowledging
how poor self-worth is.

I mean, that can go all the way

from what media
teaches you of--

of what's sexy and
what's attractive about women,

to a lot of these girls
either have father figures

that aren't active
or aren't positive.

And some are
never to have been seen.

So that's one--

gonna be something that
they're seeking continuously.

You know, we--we push so hard
for, you know,

"We got--
we have to have sex ed.

Look at all these kids
getting pregnant."

I do agree that they
need to know what to use,

but I think people are skipping
right past the bigger issue,

which is positive,
healthy relationships,

and understanding their worth.

So you have to be
willing to walk--

have to kick him to the curb
and move on.

There's lots of great guys
out there.

- Yeah.
- Okay, yeah.

- Lincoln sits
right in the heart

of the most active area
in our community,

as far as assaults,
gang activities, truancy,

stabbings, murders.

We're hearing
that the 13th Street gang

is really pushing the meth
right now.

A couple weeks ago,

we had a car
pull up in front of Lincoln.

One of the people that's been
selling meth in our area

tried to get one of--

one of our kids.

He was calling her over,
trying to get her to buy some,

and she said she was done
with it.

They were using meth
in the car,

and he took a puff,
and blew it in her face,

and said,
"You'll be back, bitch."

And unfortunately, with meth,

it is so addicting
that the road back--

I just--you just don't see kids
coming back very often.

So that's why
I'm really concerned,

as it appears that meth
has hit Lincoln.

[indistinct chatter]

- Coming into Lincoln,

I just thought all the drama
would just, like, go away.

I was starting somewhere new.

At first,
I was just kind of sad,

and covered it up
with this really loud girl who,

like, ran around
being friends with everybody.

I got a lot
of things hidden within me

that nobody knows about.

There's my mommy.

My mom has hazel eyes.

And me?

I have brown eyes,
unfortunately.

I kind of wanted light eyes.

[kids chattering]

When I was seven or eight,

I remember seeing my mom
and knowing, sort of,

something was wrong with her.
- Come here a second.

He said it was lame seeing
him, and that it sucked balls.

- This is--this is your sexy,
hot mama!

This is your sexy, hot mama!

- It's on his jersey!

And my family knew.

And they tried to shelter me

away from it
as much as they could,

but it was really hard,

'cause I had learned about what
was going on

with the D.A.R.E. program

that came to our school
and told us about drugs.

I realized, "My mom
is doing these same things

they're teaching me not to do."

You can ask anyone
at this school.

They'll say, "No,
I haven't heard about meth."

But you try it once,
I promise it'll own you.

You'll think about it.

You'll steal money.

You'll lie to your family.

And you don't have a problem
looking your mom in the eye,

saying you're gonna go
somewhere

that you're not really going.

I could look at her and say,
"Well, she lied to me.

What's the problem?"

- So, so far,
it's just kind of

a suspicious vehicle
that's--

- All of them were methed out.
- Methed out?

- No question.

Suspicious vehicle
because he pulled Kelsey

over and said that.

I mean, she still
is really upset about it.

I'm trying to get her
to the clinic to talk about it,

so I guess we'll see.

- If I see him
talking to kids,

I'm gonna go over
and confront him.

I just know what these guys
to do our girls.

- Well, yeah.
- And--and so.

- Yes.
Agreed.

- I got myself worked up.

- A lot of damaged self-esteems
and self-worth.

- Now, how--how are we
gonna get these kids back?

- Well, everybody keeps talking
about addressing the drugs.

My thing is,
we need to address

what's causing
them to use these drugs.

That's what
we need to figure out.

- I love my mom.

It's just hard.

And the other day,
I tried to tell her

about what happened to me
when I lived in the Tri-Cities.

'Cause I was walking home
from school one day...

and this person
comes up behind me, and I was--

I was in sixth grade,
12 years old--

and just grabs me.

And I got--

I got sexually molested.

And the guy let me go

and told me if I told anyone,

he's gonna kill my family.

He's gonna find everything
I've ever loved

and burn it down.

And so every day after that,

I'd walk past that same house

and just cry and cry.

Go to school, get bullied,
come home--

every single day.

And I had this big dog.

His name was Harley.

This dog was my only friend--
our family's dog.

And I remember one night,

I just--

I didn't want to be alive,

so I'd went into my closet.

I left--
I left my room door open.

I didn't lock it or anything,
but it was closed.

But I didn't--I have a lock,
but I didn't lock it.

And I left Harley in the room,

and he started barking
really loud.

And if he wouldn't have
done that--who knows?

I might not have
even been here.

- Just looking back to my life,

having been sexually assaulted
in high school,

I was someone that, you know,

used drugs to avoid

all of the processing
for that--

and avoided, avoided, avoided
having to deal with it.

- After that,
I saw myself as ugly.

I hated myself.

I just felt like this big blob
walking around.

I felt like this zombie.

- A lot of these young women
coming through here--I mean,

what--our last one was

over one in four of these girls
have been sexually assaulted.

I think it was one in three.

So you're talking one
in every three girls

you see walking
down this hallway

who has such little self-worth,

because of all of these events
that have built up,

and have never had a chance
to really talk it out,

because they don't have
a safe environment

to do that processing in.

- I just--I kept it all inside.

I didn't ever want
anyone to know that of me.

- It's not
that I'm judging you.

I know why you're smoking weed.

I know why you smoke meth.
You don't want to feel.

I mean,
that's the big challenge is,

I'm asking you to try
feeling for a little bit.

Because sometimes
when you feel,

it guides you in the direction
that you should be going

and not to where you are.

- So the answer
to the question is three.

Eleven is one.

I was a little nervous,
to be honest.

The first day
that I came here,

I started the ISS room.

And the kids
were not for that at all.

They don't like it, because
they're away from their peers,

or they'd rather be
out running around or whatever.

But it didn't take long.

Once they realized that, "Hey,
I kind of like this person,

so I'm not gonna be"--
you know, it--

it really didn't take long.

I think within that day,

actually,
I was winning kids over.

That's what we need to do.

The teachers were like,
"Really?

"They--they're staying in there
and they're doing their work?

That's really unusual."

- My cousin, when I went
to go visit Aberdeen,

um, it was like--

I was trying to do better
'cause I have to.

I have to.

I want to graduate.

I could just have one
at the house.

But everything else
pulls you back.

- Dianna was a frequent person
in my room because of behavior.

She's here for consequence,

and she would come in
and have to do her work,

and have the rules
and whatnot of the ISS room.

And over the years, you know,

we've just become very close.

- Shelly--like, I would go
and tell her everything.

All the time,
I would go in there and cry.

Can't find my phone.

Just walk with me.

I got kicked out of my house.

It hit me like--I was like,

"Wow,
this is actually happening.

"Where am I gonna go?
Am I gonna be homeless?

"How am I gonna be?

"How am I gonna--
gonna get to school?

What am I gonna do?"

Because I have nowhere to go.

- Report on a student of ours--

a possible neglect and abuse.
- Okay.

- I am concerned about how--

what the repercussions
of calling CPS

for this young lady are.

I really don't want
to have any backlash on it.

- And the--that is something--

- Brooke, she's like,
"You know, I got to call CPS,"

and I was like, "I know."

- You know, it just got to
the point where we felt like,

"Gosh, this kid
has nowhere to go.

She has nowhere to go."

- Shelly was like,
"Somebody's here to see you."

And I'm like, "Who?"
He's like a CPS worker.

- They were putting her
in protective custody,

and that they're--

they came to me and said,
you know,

"Are you--would you
be interested in taking her?"

When kids are
put in foster care,

sometimes that experience
is good

and sometimes
that experience is bad.

I know that firsthand.

I was--I was actually in foster
care as child for a while.

And I was in a great home.

And the second one I was in
was a horrible home--

it was absolutely awful.

And I'm like, "Is she gonna get
into this horrible situation,

or is she gonna
have a good experience?"

- And that's when me and Shelly
got really close.

She was like, "I'll take her."

And she took me.

And then, that same day,
I ended up going home with her.

All right!

We about ready to sing
to our girl?

I got to get my phone.

- * Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday to you

- I'm done!

- * Happy birthday,
dear Dianna *

* Happy birthday to you

- [laughs]

Oh, my God, you guys.

[laughter]

- It's okay.
- It's weird.

It's--it's weird to get into it

and learn
how to get used to it.

- There's a little card
over there to open up.

- Big 17!
- It's okay right here.

- Just leave it right there?
- Well, maybe I will.

- Aw, you so nice.
- Aw, well, we mean it.

We're glad you're part
of our family.

You can just see
that some weight's been

lifted off her shoulders.

She has those sad moments,
though.

It's not like a magical thing

where it wipes everything away.

And obviously, we know that.

I mean, like yesterday,

she waited until midnight
for her mom to call her.

You know,
she just wants to be--

She wants her mom to
care about her and show that.

She never did call her,

never did text her.

That pain--you know,
there's still a lot

of pain there with that.

There always will be.

- But it's the truth
of the matter.

You are looking at
possible criminal charges

just for skipping school.

You can look at 30 days
in juvie.

And that's the point.

We're trying to
get you guys graduated.

Here's the good side.

Half of the student body
had over a 3.0 GPA.

I'll show you a report card
so that you know.

[cheers and applause]

Most students were
a B or above average.

That's big.

So here you are.

This is more than
15 absences.

You're down in the Ds to Fs.

So when you're
missing school,

there's an
obvious connection

between your body
not being in here

and you failing.

Because when you
look at this--

when you're here,
you're As and Bs.

When you're gone,
you're failing.

And that's it.
And that's--

That's a big difference.

[indistinct chatter]

Steven--when he got here,
so angry with society,

so anti-authority--literally,
at the beginning,

he would've been a liability
to this community.

[feedback humming]

[up-tempo drumbeat]

[moody rock music]

*

- I don't want to end up
like a lot of my friends

have the past few months.

A lot of them kind of
just turned to harder drugs

and stuff recently--

methamphetamines and heroin

and, like, cocaine and stuff.

**

- Some of the conversations
that I've had with Steven were,

you know, "And how is
that working for your buddies?"

And "It's actually
not that bad, you know?

"You know, so-and-so's staying
at another friend's house,

"in the basement, and they--you
know, they just kind of get up,

smoke weed all day
and play video games."

And I'm like, "And that sounds
awesome, doesn't it?"

And he's like, "Well, yeah.

I mean, you don't really
have to do anything."

And,
"So who's paying for that?"

And he goes, "Well,
he gets food stamps--

you know,
however much in food stamps."

And I go, "Oh, so he's

"collecting
from the very government

that you guys
keep saying 'fuck you' to?"

And he was--I mean,
and it was that moment

where he was kind of like--

You know,
and then he thought,

and he's like,
"Well, God, yeah."

And so the more we had
those discussions,

where it was like, "You know,

"it sounds like you're
saying 'fuck the government,'

"but everybody ultimately is

"either gonna be locked up
or, you know, living off of it,

"so maybe your--

your choices so far
don't work."

And that's where it opened
the opportunity to say,

"Why do you graduate?

"Because then
you can get a job,

and you can do
whatever the fuck you want."

[moody music fades]

*

- Well,

I hadn't really taken college
into much consideration

until just a couple months ago,

when--when Genie
began to mention it to me.

[indistinct chatter]

I'm managing to do well,

and so it makes it look like
there's a lot more options

for me than when I was failing
consistently because I was--

wasn't coming to school.

So we're going, then?

We're going?
- We're going!

- Is this part one?
- Yeah, man, we are.

- We're on the way.
- Where are we going?

- We're going to Bellingham,

to check out
Western and Fairhaven.

- It's a true story.

- Tuck and roll.

Tuck and roll,
baby, right there.

- Yup.

- This should be on you.

- On me?

- Turn on the--turn that on.
- Spotlight?

- Yeah, let's do that.
- Yeah, spotlight.

- All right,
let's do an interview here.

Let's do this.

You ready for this?
- I--I guess. I guess.

- Let's do some warm-up
questions--some warm-up.

- Okay, where were you born?

Where--ho!

[laughter]

- They've shown me
a different side of, like,

society itself, sort of deal.

If they think
that I'm not looking, like,

as chipper as usual
or whatever,

then they'll offer me food.

And, like, one of our teachers
bought me shoes last year.

And that was really nice,
'cause I needed shoes,

and it was the middle
of winter.

- I don't know.

What do you think?

If you look at
your life so far,

what have been key moments
in your life

that you think have shaped
who you are?

- Um, I'd say...

my mom being diagnosed
with bipolar,

my parents splitting up,

and, uh...

freaking...

I have those two.

I don't know what else, though.

Being put on probation,
I guess--

that kind of--that changed
a lot of things.

Um...

almost overdosing
changed a lot of things too.

That was--definitely
kind of opened my eyes,

to the point
where I was like, "Whoa.

"I kind of
don't really feel like

it would be awesome to die."

- Here's Fairhaven.

It's hidden by all these trees,

which is kind of rad.

Some sweet stairs.

We'll just document
how lost I can get.

[laughter]
- That's rancid.

- Choke on it.
[laughter]

- I'm actually filming you
putting the quarter in.

- I think that their kindness
made it a whole lot

easier for me to, like,
learn things from them

and actually listen to them

and take their advice.

Because I was like,
"These are good people.

Why would I not
listen to them?"

[laughter]

- Nicely done.

- In order for this to happen,

there's a lot of stuff
that has to click into place.

He might not get into college.

He might not get
the financial aid

he needs in order to even

afford to be able
to go to college.

Steven.
- What?

- I love you, man.
- I love you too, man.

- At this time of life,

for a lot of kids--
this is their senior year.

This is decision-making time.

Like, "What am I gonna do next
with my life?

"Am I going to make that next
step and invest in the future?

Or am I gonna step out
and coast

where I'm at right now?"

And--and he could go
any one of those directions.

[clicking]

- People don't always
understand that,

even when you
open up your palms

and let your writing
flutter away on the breeze,

into the clouds,
through the void,

that you've given them
a piece of yourself--

the most precious wounded bits

that you forget
can be so beautiful

until you see them
from a distance.

People don't always know
how lovely but painful it is

to see the worst
parts of you

flourish the moment
they get away from you--

something you hated because
you failed to see the value,

to witness the best parts
of yourself shuffled past

and discarded like junk mail
or put down like a sick dog--

something you love dearly

that you didn't want to see
in agony

but you desperately didn't want
to lose just to have it buried.

But if you had kept it
inside of you,

it would have festered
into something hideous.

If you had kept it safe
and locked up,

it would still
have been wasted away.

[indistinct radio chatter]

Babe.

It's hella zoomed in!

How do I zoom out?
- The top.

- Oh.

When I met Gustavo
and he told me his story,

I was just like, "Wow, this guy
thinks exactly like me."

I told him every little part

of who I was,

and he was okay with it.

- I didn't know
I was gonna date her.

We didn't know
we were gonna date, you know?

We came from both
different backgrounds.

She was one of those
quiet little gothic girls,

and I was one of those loud,
mean bully--just kind of kids.

It turned out
better than I expected.

The school counselor, Brooke--

they asked her who she'd--
should recommend to work on it,

and she'd seen a lot
of my work, so she said me.

- [laughs]

How do you feel
when you paint?

- Relaxed.

- He's really kind of
an escape.

I really lean on him.

I tell him,
"I'm gonna freak out.

"I need weed.
I need this.

I need that."

But seeing
how much Gustavo's life

was affected by the same thing
with his family, he's like,

"Everybody leaves me
for drugs."

And it made me think,

"Everybody leaves me
for it too,

"and I'm here leaving school,

leaving my family,
leaving him."

- My girlfriend, Kelsey,

she's like,
"Why do you get me so well?"

I'm like, "'Cause I was raised
by a woman."

Hi, mom.
Say hi, mom.

You know,
my mom's like both parents.

Like, on--on Fathers' Day,

we're like,
"Happy Fathers' Day, mom!"

[laughs]

My dad left when I was,
like, seven or eight.

One time that haunts me

is this argument
my mom and my dad had.

We lived in a trailer.
We had no money.

It was five kids.

We didn't have anything to eat.

My dad came home after,
like, a week of being gone.

My mom told him, "That's it.

"That's it.
I'm sick of your crap.

We're done."

I knew he was doing drugs.

You can tell.
When my dad did drugs,

his eyes glowed red
like the devil.

I walked over,
and I looked at him,

and he just looked at me--

no emotion, no sadness,
no regret.

And I said, "Are you leaving?"

He said, "No,
I'll never leave you."

I fell asleep good,
feeling I was protected,

you know?

But I woke up;

he wasn't there.

I always--always
waited for him to come back.

My dad
never did the best things,

but he was my superhero,
you know?

- He wants to be like his dad--

whether his dad
was shooting at people

or whether his dad
was being nice.

He wants to be like his dad.

- I still carry
a lot of the baggage.

It's the pain that makes us
who we are, you know?

- Sometimes suffering
doesn't have a good outcome.

But I do know one thing,
is that I believe in him.

- So, you ready?

On your cue!

Remember, character, okay?

I really want you
working on your character.

What you practice is what
you're gonna do on stage.

- I was super introverted,

and I was very sensitive.

It was pretty bad.

- Shh.

- Step right up!
Step right up!

Come and see
the amazing freaks--

mistakes of nature,

the strange and bizarre.

We can call him "Bobby Wilson:

the boy who can
eat his own face."

- That's kind of--

- I don't know
when it all changed or what--

what started the change.

I just all of a sudden

started talking a bit more to
the teachers and the staff.

And this is the--

the first place
that I've ever been to that I--

I've felt that...

they cared
about me as an individual.

[rock music]

*

Hi.
- Hey, get out of here.

- Hi, Genie.
- Hey, Aron.

- Hey, Jordan.

Hey, Jordan number two.

How's it going, guys?

Keep the Magic flowing.

I guess I just wasn't
in an environment

where people
bullied me and put me down.

And instead they built me up.

- Aron Wulf!

Happy Friday to the Wolf!

- Happy Friday, Mr. Gordon.

- Thank you.

Living the dream.

Aron Wulf,
living the dream.

- You know,
then he started drawing,

and his art has got awesome.

**

- I did this one,
and I did that one, and--

- And you can see him just kind
of saying, "Hey, check it out.

"Here's a piece of me.

Here's this cool thing
I can do.

I can draw."
And it was awesome.

And he got--he--he got
a lot accolades for that.

And that helped draw him out
a little bit.

- The growth that
he's even had this year

has been incredible for me--

just to watch
his confidence come back.

I mean, it was--

he was so lacking in it before,

and so angry,

that all of the incredible
qualities, I mean,

that you see in this kid,
you would never have seen.

- Welcome to the most
disturbing show on Earth.

See the amazing devil girl!

She is five years old,

and she's as evil as sin!

Tremble in fear before
the terrible, twisted nature

of this horrible little girl!

- [growls]

[laughter]

[cheers and applause]

- In my opinion, I think
it's only going to get better.

There's a lot of things
I want to do.

- So let's go back up
to the first one.

Okay, dealing
with adversity--

so think
outside of yourself.

What would someone
looking at you think, "Wow.

"That's a little bit different
than maybe other kids

have had to deal with?"

I mean, when you
think about your ACEs,

what are the--what are
the ones that stand out?

- I can't remember
the--all the ACEs.

- Is mental health
a big one?

- Probably.

- Is that one
you're willing to write about?

'Cause that is--
you have had a lifetime

of working with someone
with some mental health issues.

But I don't know if you're
willing to write that on here.

- Yeah,
but how do I put that in words?

[clears throat]

[keys clacking]

- A lot of people
applying for colleges--

things haven't been
that hard.

They've had some
little things, like they

didn't make varsity basketball
when they wanted to,

and then they had to
play really hard

and work really hard
to make the team, right?

But it's hard for you
to be able to see that,

when you've only
lived your own life.

But think a little bit
in terms of,

like, they're getting
all these applications.

So what
makes you unique?

And this is one of
those things.

So if you're willing
to name it.

- Porphyria!

There we go.

- I don't know why that wasn't
on the tip of my tongue.

[laughs]

- Porphyria.

How do you spell "porphyria"?

- "It's characterized by
ataxia, severe abdominal pain,

"peripheral neuropathy,

and mental disturbances."

All right,
there you go.

So this means
every day is unpredictable?

- Every day at home
is unpredictable.

- There we go.

- Responsibilities.

- There we go.

All right?

Team!

- Sorry.

[door squeaks]

- This is out--

see, I live out in the country,

like out in the--out,
out in the country, like--see?

I moved in here, what?

Almost three weeks ago.

These are onions.

Hopefully it doesn't, like,
beat me up or anything.

And that's my house,
right there.

Who said I was gonna fall off?

You see I'm on my bike, right?

I feel like I'm happier,

because I don't have
to think about,

every night,
"Am I gonna get kicked out?

Am I gonna eat tomorrow?
Am I gonna be okay?"

Oh, look at the cowls!
Is that--cowl?

I can't even say it.
How do you say it?

- Cow.

- Cow.

I'm not stressing so much
about school and all that.

Like, I'm not
by myself anymore.

I got a team.

Can you help me center it,
please, Kofler?

It's hard.

My grades--they were--

they were so bad at--
at the beginning of the year.

I had, like, so many Fs.

Well, this quarter, I have a B,

a C-minus--no a C-plus--

a B-minus, a B-minus,
a B-minus, an A, and a C-minus.

Ohh.
What now?

You see how badass that is?

One thing that I realized,
though--like, all my mom--

my mom, my aunts, my grandma--

they all had kids
when they were 15, 14.

My mom had my oldest brother
when she was 15.

And I'm the first one
that's 17 and has no kids.

How proud I am of myself.

Uh, does it say?
It says June 19th.

- Okay.
- And it's a hearing.

"If the court
finds the child dependent,

it could results--

result in permanent loss

of your parent's right--
rights."

So I'm guessing this is, like,

to take the rights off of her.

- So do you--
do you think you can--

Do you think you can hold
it together through court?

- That's--
that's what I'm scared of.

That's what I'm scared of.

I don't know what to do
when I see her.

I don't know
what's gonna happen.

She gets to me.

She's always getting to me.

I feel like it's not--

if it's not one thing,
it's another thing,

when it comes down to her.

Like, it was like,
first, trying to find her,

and then getting served papers,
and then all that.

And then she cusses me out,
and then court now.

Like, I feel like I--and then

people telling me all this shit
she's been saying.

Like, it never stops.

She's still gonna be
in my life.

You can take me away to Africa.

I--I will still
hear about her ass.

- Well, that one's just
gonna take some time.

I mean, that--it--it's--

that's a really heavy,
difficult situation.

And--and, you know,

like we've talked about
in this conversation, it--

there's not gonna be a time
where it's just done and over.

- I know.
And that's how I feel like.

It's never gonna end.
It's always gonna be something.

- Well, so, being able to--

to manage it is gonna
be a combination of--

of learning to accept
what is out of our control,

and to focus on the parts
of your life

that is in your control.

And the more you focus on--

on the positive stuff
that you do have,

and the direction
that you want to go,

and all of that,

the easier it is
to let go of the other.

It'll always be there.
It'll always suck.

But it doesn't have
to swallow up your whole life.

- I don't know
all that information.

Either did you, though.

It was a hard weekend
all around.

There's a big video

that was posted
over the weekend

that had two girls fighting.

And it was videotaped by,

I swear to God,
90% of our student body.

If you go on Facebook--

and here's the video.

It was over a boy,

with all boys standing around

instigating this.

- This is gonna be
awesome!

Ahh!

[laughs]

Greg, move!

- And it's
like a three-minute video.

And I don't know if you've
ever been in a fight--

three minutes
in a fight is quite a while.

- This is going on YouTube,
bro.

- The heart-wrenching part
for me was watching it,

and these girls
not understanding

that they're the cock
in the cock fight--

that they're the pit bull
in the dog fight,

and being used

for the entertainment
of these guys.

- On her face.

- I mean, it's just sick,
man--sick.

- Don't slap! Punch!
The face! Punch!

- Girl fights last forever.

- I know.
Just smash his teeth and done.

- We've been getting
in a lot of,

like, arguments and stuff.

I have a temper.

I have a huge temper.

But then you tell me
I'm gonna break the floor!

Make up your mind.

And he has huge anger issues.

So it's like,
when we get into an argument,

it's not good.

- Come on.
[pins clattering]

- Recently, we've been
having more downs than ups.

We're at those points of,
like, breaking up, like,

almost once or twice a day.

- I don't know.

He just kind of freaks
out when I'm away from him.

I don't know
what it is.

It's that need
to always have me there.

- Whenever I'm not
around her for, like,

a half hour, I'm going crazy.

I'm calling her
and calling her

and texting her
and texting her and--

And I'll, like,
run around the school,

like, 80 times looking for her.

So I'll be like,
"Where the hell were you?

What--what happened?"

But it can't--

we can't be separated.

- Teen love.

When I talk with the guys
and we start talking about,

you know, "Why do you have
to check her phone?

Why do you have to do
all these things?"

You know,
we'd had the discussions,

seeing this pattern, you know?

"And I know
it's not intentional.

"I know that
you're not meaning to.

But I'm telling you
where this is headed."

- Um, I was in class,

and there's
these specific girls.

There was five of them.

And they were just talking,

and I heard
my boyfriend's name.

"Oh, he's, like,
in love with me,

and he said this about me,"

and looked over
and started giggling at me

to see if I was listening.

I could just hear 'em

constantly giggling
and talking,

and just keep provoking.

And as soon as I got out
of class, I waited out there.

And one girl came out,
looked at me, and ran.

- Let's go!

- And this girl
I'd already had a problem with,

I was like, "Is that all you
do, is talk about Gustavo?"

I'm like,
"Is that all you can do?"

She was like,
"Shut the fuck up."

Everything in me just went off.

- Let go!
Let me the fuck go!

I ain't playing with you!

- And I knew I should've
went to go talk to someone,

but I didn't.

And I just--I just hit her.

Like, it was the first time
I've ever actually wanted to,

like, hurt someone.

And while I was doing it,
I was like, "What am I doing?"

[laughs]

[engine rumbling]

- It's very concerning

for me to see that
they're constantly, kind of,

in these little arguments,

or crying somewhere,

or conflict somewhere else.

Even the last fight
she was in--

he said,
"Uh, so"--you know,

the girl that she fought's
right down the stairs.

"She wants to say something
to you."

And Kelsey's response was,

"Well, if she wanted to say
something to me, she would've."

And he's like, "Well, then,
she's right down there.

Let's go out."

Well, why are--
why are you taking someone

that you love and care,

and throwing them to the fire?

I mean, I don't understand
this concept.

I look at Kelsey
and, as bad as she was,

you know, using,

she seems more miserable to me
now than she did then.

I mean, you substituted meth
for an unhealthy relationship.

You went from one addiction
to the next.

- She doesn't seem--

Yeah, she seems kind of--
she seems sadder.

- She's doing something.
- Kelsey?

- More sad.
- Yeah?

- Attendance?
- Is bad.

all: Bad.

- Well, Gustavo and Kelsey

have been having
some relationship problems.

Even though that's not
our responsibility,

we jump on it.

It had gotten to the point
where I get calls

that they're
out of class again.

So I finally brought them in

and just had to share,
you know,

bottom line.

We've got the health center
for counseling.

You got before school, lunch:

that's the time to take care
of any problem that you have.

But as far as leaving class,

we're at the point now
that that's not an option.

I asked them
to take care of it.

- Yeah,
I'm working on this mural.

- It's still holding them
accountable.

They still have to deal
with the consequences,

but they're still
loved and accepted.

- For a lot of these kids,
that chaos is comfort zone

because it's so familiar.

You came to see me.

And it's so hard
to ask a lot of these kids

to trust you enough to step
out of their comfort zone

and try something new--

that you may not
see the reward instantly,

but it's there, and you just
got to give me enough trust

to get you to that point.

- We gave each other space.

We don't hang out every day
like we used to.

Um...

but I just really
want to be able

to talk things out with him.

I don't want the screaming.
I don't want the yelling.

I don't--that really
takes its toll after a while.

- You have that
kind of anguish inside

and aren't able
to talk about it, so--

- It's encouraging for me

to see that they've
stopped at a point

where you're able to intervene,

before you get to that level
of violence

and complete control.

I hope more people are having
those conversations with him,

so it's not just, "Eh,
Brooke's kind of crazy.

She just says weird shit."

I hope it's coming from
a lot of different angles

so that they put more value
into, "Well,

"I--you know, I like Gordon,
and I like Sporleder.

"And all these guys
are saying it too.

"It's not just a chick
telling me.

"It's guys saying it.
It's not okay.

"It's really not okay
to feel that way,

and it's not okay to control."

That conversation
needs to happen.

- Last week,
Steven walked into school.

- [laughs]

- What's up?
- Sup, man?

- Not a lot.
What are you guys doing?

- And you see
this look on his face.

And he had this letter
to--to hand me.

And I was in the middle
of talking to people,

and I--I know what that college
envelope looks like, right?

That letter of acceptance.

I was like,
"Is this what I think it is?"

He was like--you know,

and so I'm, like, crying
in the middle of the hall,

and--

but I could see it in his face.

All of a sudden
this is not theory.

This is reality,
that this could happen--

that "I could be this person
that goes to college."

That, in itself,

has sent him
into this total tailspin.

- Oh, look how beautiful
these flowers are,

and how shitty the day is.

What a terrible day.

- Of course, his coping
mechanism is, every night,

drinking a ton, smoking a ton.

- It's like, I don't even know

if I'm actually
going to college yet

or not, so.

I've thought about it not even,
like, being worth it.

But it's like--whatever.

I just need to do something,
I guess.

I'll figure that out.

- Does anyone have
any questions on this?

You guys have all done
one round of this,

for the most part, right?

Steven has gone AWOL

from school, kind of,
right now.

Um, what's going on?

I--I kind of want to shake him.

I just want to grab him
and shake him.

So, uh...

Ugh.

[laughs]

It's--uh, yeah.

- Um, well, you know, yeah,

I don't have anything
on the computer,

or a video, or a three--

three-ring binder,

because...

things have been somewhat
chaotic as of late.

So I will be
just speaking.

In other words,
winging it.

- I actually probably
have more stress

right now about Aron
getting to college

than I do about Steven
getting to college.

- Uh, as far as I know,

they haven't received
my ACT scores yet, but--

- It's taken him forever to get
his stuff done for college.

Like,
I've just been freaking out

that he's even
gonna finish.

We see, when kids start
getting close to graduation,

they--they bail.

They will absolutely
sabotage themselves,

with one credit left
before they reach graduation.

'Cause I can't imagine
that the idea--

they know what
the real world is like.

And even though we've created
this really great place here,

they know
that that's about ready

to end in a matter of weeks.

And then we lose our kids
in that senior year.

They melt down.

- And these layers
of guilt set in--

"I don't think
I can go that far away,

"because, you know,

"I need to check in
with my mom.

"My dad has glaucoma,
and it's getting worse.

"Yeah, he drinks,
but I'm, like,

the only person
that checks in on him."

[cat purring]

- There is a--

a very unhealthy relationship
between he and his mom.

And I see it a lot
with these kids,

is that the oldest child--

or, in his case,
the only child--

is kind of thrust into the--
you know,

if it's a single household--

you're thrust into what you
would expect

the role to be
of her husband.

And I think that that's
the weight and the burden

that she's kind of put on him.

- It's tough to leave family

that you know
needs your support,

no matter how much you know

that it's the best thing
for the future

for both of you.

But to get that education
means pulling that support away

for the time period
it takes for him to get that.

And that's--I mean,
that's really tough.

That's really hard.

- You do everything you can.

And it's not like I'm, like,

wanting him to live--live
this dream that I have for him,

that he's got to go to college.
It's not even about that.

It's just about
how he feels about himself.

[plaintive guitar music]

*

- [sighs]

So Steven's clearly
having a rough go right now.

[plaintive guitar music
continues]

*

Frickin, uh,
romantic-comedy ending.

Uh, it's just not.
I don't know.

- Something has triggered that.
You know what I mean?

Other teachers have warned me
that you're on this trajectory

with the kiddos where,

you know,
you have the massive successes,

and they're gonna crash
after those.

And part of you
doesn't want to believe it.

You're like, "No," you know,

"This--this isn't gonna
happen."

Everybody deserves
to have someone

who loves them unconditionally

and just thinks the world
of them.

Like, that's--that's what you--

you get to do in this position.

And I feel so lucky
to be able to do that.

But at the same time, you know,

you have all these other
aspects of your life.

Pat and Erik
have been great at school,

'cause they've definitely
stepped in at times

and been like,
"You can't do this.

You can't take
this all on yourself."

And--

But then my answer always is,
"But who's going to?

Like, who's gonna do it?"

Like--like, it's not fair.

Like, someone has to--
has to care about 'em.

Someone has to be that person,
so.

It's something
I got to work on.

[school bell ringing distantly]

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- So one of
the biggest questions kids

are asking me right now
and freaking out about

is whether their
cell phone's gonna work

while they're up there.

And "How far can we ride on
the bus before it's gonna die?"

And I keep telling them,

"You'll survive
without a cell phone!

We did for years."

- Shelly was telling me that
there's gonna be, like, games,

and tug-of-war,
and stuff like that,

so I'm excited
to get away from town.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- I didn't bring a pillow.
- I didn't bring shit.

- Whoo!

- We'll call
this one Hufflepuff!

- Nope, this is Slytherin,
bitch.

- I was actually
putting straw--

strawberries
around the cabin--

see if I could
bring in the bear tonight,

keep people
from leaving the cabins.

[laughter]

- So good morning, you guys.

I'm super psyched
about who's here today.

So--so here's
what makes it work.

This weekend,
we're gonna set up scenario

after scenario that's gonna
push you just a little bit

out of your comfort zones,
okay?

Participate.
Like, just try it.

And if we can get the whole
group of you to flap your wings

and bark like a chicken
together,

there's comradery
in being dumb together,

and being embarrassing
together.

And so that's the challenge

I'm gonna throw out
for you guys this weekend.

[kids shouting indistinctly]

- Why didn't we move?

- So we just grab a handful?
Just like--

- Yeah, just,
like, grab a handful.

- So red is things
you're passionate about.

Green are things
about your family.

Orange, your pet peeves.

Purple, your strengths.

And yellow,
your greatest fears.

So who wants to start?

- Ah, okay.

- Um, so,
I'm gonna do yellow.

One of my greatest fears--

not that many people
know this about me,

but one of my greatest fears
is,

I guess, ending up alone--

like, never finding
anybody to love.

I don't know
why that's my greatest fear,

but it is.

[laughter]

- One of my greatest fears,
really,

is actually seeing my dad,

who I've never met
and never known--

is seeing him, actually,

in the future,
or just out of nowhere.

- One of my greatest fears
is losing my mom

during one of her surgeries.

- One of my pet peeves
is seeing people, like,

downtown judge Lincoln kids
without knowing who they are.

And they'll do like,
a little--

shake their head
or something,

and I--drives me crazy.

I just want to be like,
"Really?

"You ever walked--you ever
walked in this kid's shoes

"and know what
his life is like?

"Really?

"You don't have to
shake your head.

You don't have to
shake your head."

- My--my biggest fear

is just being rejected
by the whole world.

Just--not given the chance
to see who I am--

just rejected.

- Uh, one of my fears is--

is probably
my younger sister.

She's 12.

And hopefully
she will not have

to experience what I went
through when I was seven,

and that was somebody
molested me when I was seven.

So my greatest fear is
that I hope it doesn't happen

to my younger sister,
or a daughter of mine,

when I have kids, so.

- My biggest fear...

is losing Gustavo,

because for once,

I found a--

a guy
who I'm not afraid of.

When I walk down the street
and I see a man,

I'm afraid he's gonna touch me.

And that's why I
go everywhere with him.

I'm sorry I'm crying.

- It's okay.

- But I clench to his side
so much,

because I'm scared
of every man I meet.

[sniffles]

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Patience.

- I honestly
was so afraid to open up,

but almost everyone
in the cabin I was in

when we were doing
the Skittles

came up to me later

and said that
they were molested also.

It kind of broke my heart
in a way,

but it made me feel
like I wasn't alone.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- Oh, yeah, you should
actually cut that out.

[laughter]

- You learn how to ride a bike,

and you'll remember
how to ride the bike.

But that doesn't
necessarily mean

that you'll always
ride the bike well.

And you still can,
like, eat shit.

Here and here.

- Yeah, I--I understand.
- It, like, fell out.

- I was pretty much
just talking the talk.

[both laugh]

- I do that sometimes.

- The behavior isn't the kid.

The behavior is--is a symptom

of what's going on
in their life.

Behavior isn't about me.

In some ways,
the behavior's not even

about the kid, you know?

And you can forgive,
and work on it,

like modeling a good,
normal, healthy relationship.

- I sent him a text back

saying, you know,
"You're human.

"You're one of my most favorite
humans on this planet,

"and I'm not going anywhere.

And let's talk
when you're ready to talk."

[laughter, cheers, and applause]

- October
cheerleading tryouts.

[cheers and applause]

[laughter, cheers, and applause]

[laughter and cheering fades]

[fire crackling]

- Well, most of you guys

might not know this,

but I surf...

couches and whatnot.

And, uh,

I might not have had the best
upbringing, necessarily.

I mean, things kind of
went downhill a little bit.

I got into some nasty habits
and whatnot.

But I had people there to help
me through said nasty habits.

And I don't feel
like I would've had that help

if I hadn't ended up
going to Lincoln.

It took me a long time to
finally realize that there's--

there's more to life than--

than just
the here and now,

and that you really get

to make a choice as
to what your future looks like.

I mean, I'm a--

I'm a fucking scumbag, dude.

Most of the time,

I'm not that great
of a role model and whatnot.

But I got accepted
into the colleges

that I want to go to.

I'm gonna do it.

And I feel like,
if I can do it,

all of you can
definitely do it.

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct chatter]

- Want me to pin yours on?

- Yeah. Oops.

- Ow, ow! Ow!
- After I actually get--

- I promise,
we're gonna be home by 9:00.

- Are these for staff
from the--the kids?

- In the--in the morning.

- In the morning.

[kids chattering indistinctly]

- I see our system
really judging kids

on their outward appearance,

and how they react and behave,

versus trying to find out
what the cause is.

It's the pain

that these kids
carry within themselves.

You know, it would be easy
to take the route--

just let 'em fight, suspend
'em,

and get 'em out of here.

I mean,
that would be the easy way out.

- [laughs]

- But through our experience,

we know that
if you seek the cause

and give the student
self-worth,

then you--you--
you can get to that point

where that behavior
starts to change.

[cheers and applause]

- Everything these kids

have to go through
to get here--

I'm blown away that these kids
get up and come every day

and are willing
to engage with us.

[cheers and applause]

Why do some of them make it,

and why do some of them not?

I like to think that
I got to contribute

to some of those kids
that make it--

that they had that one, or two,

or three people in their life
that didn't give up on 'em.

[cheers and applause]

- I'm Jim Sporleder,

principal
of Lincoln High School,

and I would like--

[cheers and applause]

Never would've guessed that we
would be where we are today.

[cheers and applause]

Please help me honor
all those

that have helped
this journey happen.

[cheers and applause]

The beauty about ACEs is,
though the outcomes

are incredibly accurate
and predictable

with no interventions,

there's tremendous hope
with interventions.

[cheers and applause]

- Eternity,
way to go.

It wasn't until
she'd already become

a leader on ASB

that she had
this crazy story

of previous life experience
being picked on,

and silent,

and everything that did not
make sense in my head

from this woman
that was in my class.

There's a reason that
she's walking out of here

with help
holding the stack

of awards and accolades

for the work
that she's done here.

- I'd like to introduce
Steven Garduno.

[cheers and applause]

His four-year journey
through high school--

he's had a lot
of twists and turns.

It hasn't always
been easy.

And I think he'll be
the first to admit that.

And here we are,
senior-year English class,

Steven's the guy
who's causing me

to argue with myself
on the story in English class.

He's engaged me
at a level

that I haven't been
to for a while.

And he's gonna go
to a four-year college.

And he'll be
challenged there,

but he knows he always
has us for backup.

Steven Garduno.

[cheers and applause]

- It's my pleasure
to introduce Mr. Aron Wulf.

[cheers and applause]

Today, Lincoln
graduates a young man

that is talented in
music, art, and theater.

He'll look you in the eye,
and speak with confidence.

I have greatly valued
the conversations

that I've had
with Aron about life,

what it means to be
a human being,

what it means to interact
with other people.

Aron, I am absolutely
looking forward

to seeing
where life takes you,

because you're gonna
change the world.

Congratulations.

[cheers and applause]

- My greatest announcement

is to welcome
the Class of 2013.

[cheers and applause]

- The transformation at Lincoln
is because my staff's done

some incredible things
there with our kids.

- One, two, three.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Nonjudgmental,

loving them unconditionally,

wrapping in support,

and then teaching them--

these are the people
that teach you the resiliency,

and to become the person
that you were meant to be.

- Whoo!

[triumphant music]

*

[soothing music]

*

[uplifting music]

*

[peaceful music]

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