Original subtitles

And Mikey will be short stuff on center field. And of course, our star pitcher,

Nikki. Hey, that's a great lineup. The ninth grade better luck child.

Didn't you forget someone?

Nikki, Mikey, me?

Nope.

Wait a minute. We forgot the stretch.

We didn't forget him.

The most important position hasn't been picked yet.

The foul pole.

The foul pole?

Think about it, Screech. If any of us hits you with a ball, it's a home run.

Wow.

Thanks.

If the teacher pops a test, I know I'm in a mess. And my dog ate all my

last night.

Riding on my chair, she won't know that I'm there. If I can hand it in tomorrow,

it'll be all right.

It's all right, because I'm safe out the bell.

It's all right because I'm saved by them.

It's all right because I'm saved by them. It's all right because I'm saved

them.

Role models play an important part in every child's life.

I had mine. My students have theirs. Me, I hope.

And someday maybe even they'll be role models for future generations.

But then again, maybe not.

I'm late, I know it. I don't have a good excuse, but I throw myself on the mercy

of the teacher.

Toddy.

But I told you the truth.

Sit.

Is it too late to lie?

The world is coming to an end tomorrow morning.

Well, I guess you know what that means.

No homework tonight.

I can't believe it. How you doing, kid?

Mother?

Boyfriend? No way.

Identical twins separated at birth?

Nah.

Class, I want you to meet my eighth grade history teacher, Mr. James Lyman.

You know, if it wasn't for his inspirational style, I might never have

teaching. I was much younger then. I didn't know what I was doing.

Don't believe him. Mr. Lyman always knew what he was doing.

Not always.

Remember when we were discussing Benjamin Franklin and I went out in the

with a kite and a key?

It took me two weeks to find my hair and another week to straighten it.

What kind of a student was she?

Well, no matter how much work I gave her or how hard I graded her, she never

once complained.

What was the matter with you?

Did she ever get into trouble?

There is one time that comes to mind. Oh, Mr. Lyman, I don't think that's

Now, Carrie, this has to be told.

One day she came to class without her homework.

She swore a space alien zapped her and stole her assignment on Teddy Roosevelt.

That happened to you, too?

Well, that story I remember telling Mr. Lyman.

Hey, a couple of us are going over to Cosmo's after school. You coming?

Oh, I can't. I get baseball practice.

Oh, that's right.

You're still into that jock thing.

I like playing baseball.

Besides, give me one good reason why I shouldn't pitch.

You'll break your nails.

That's a good reason.

Okay.

You see those cute guys over there?

Yeah, they're on the 9th grade team.

Well, have any of them asked you out?

No, but I was kind of hoping the third baseman would.

Well, how are you going to get his attention?

Hit him in the head with a ball?

Look, what are you trying to tell me?

Guys don't want to date a girl who spits all over the pitcher's mound.

I don't spit all over the pitcher's mound.

I spit on the ball.

That's even worse.

Oh, come on, Lisa.

Guys like girls who play sports, don't they?

Yeah, they like them, but they don't want to go out with them.

Think about it.

I'm glad you're enjoying your vacation.

Actually, it's a leave of absence.

Oh? For how long?

Until I report to that big teacher's lounge in the sky.

You mean you've retired?

That's what I always loved about you, Carrie.

You're quick.

Mind if I join you?

Oh.

Mr. Belding, this is James Lyman. He's the man responsible for me becoming a

teacher.

You. Out.

I'm just joking.

I'll bet you're their principal. How did you know? Who else would tell a joke

like that?

By the way, Miss Bliss, I'll be needing your statewide curriculum report on my

desk Friday morning.

Oh, that's a lot of work.

Well, the only way I can have it by Friday...

is if I get a little time away from my classes this week.

I don't know if I can find you a substitute this fast.

What about Mr. Lyman substituting for me?

Lyman substitutes for no man, or woman as the case may be.

Oh, Mr. Lyman, won't you do this for me, please?

Well, since it's you... Wait a minute.

With all due respect, Miss Bliss, while you've been wheeling and dealing, you

seem to have forgotten one little point.

I am the principal.

Does he say this all day long?

The point is, I'll have to check Mr. Lyman's qualifications.

Qualifications? But I'm a product of his teaching. He taught me everything I

know.

Not one word.

Well, if it isn't our star pitcher.

Look, I gotta talk to you guys.

I don't think I can pitch.

Are you kidding?

No. Are you hurt?

Are you nuts?

Well, the other two questions were taken.

Look, you guys just don't date girls who spit.

I would.

Lisa, you put her up to this, didn't you?

Zach, you overestimate me. Do you think that I could ever influence this

liberated woman about a baseball game?

Yes. You're right, and she doesn't want to pitch. So just stop bugging her,

okay? We don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to do.

It's just hard to forget.

Last year, bottom of the ninth, two outs, the bases loaded.

Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. She winds up. There's a pitch. Swing and a miss.

one. Coleman is tired. It's something almost superhuman keeps her going.

pitch. Strike two. I used my slider.

He wasn't even expecting it. The crowd is hushed. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. I said

the crowd is hushed.

She winds up. There's the pitch. Strike.

What if you don't want to pitch?

Well... Nicky Coleman, what a guy.

Guy?

I'm not pitching, and that's final.

All right, you guys, hold it.

Uh -oh, what the... Relax, Mikey, I got it covered.

I'll pass.

All right, go ahead.

Yeah, sure, but don't mess it up.

This expires in July, and Mr. Lyman gave it to you? Yeah, he said. And I will

never forget his words. I trust you.

He said that?

To you? Yep. I love this guy. I can't wait to get back to his class. Let's go.

Milo, what are you doing?

I'm just watching the drinking fountain.

I see.

Why?

You know, Mr. Belding, to most people, it's just a water fountain.

But to me, it's a liquid dispensing substation. An oasis, if you will.

Every day, hundreds of lips seek refreshment from that bubbling spring,

while they wait, they talk.

Milo, I'm not interested in that sort of thing.

Oh, yeah?

That's what you think.

All right, all right. Give me one solid piece of information that you've

discovered from this, uh, substation.

Mr. Bliss' substitute gave Zach Morris a hall pass that doesn't expire until

July. July? School's over in June.

Exactly.

Miss Flitz, can I speak to you for a moment? Yes, Mr. Belding. Rumor has it

Mr. Lyman gave Zack Morris a hall pass that is good through college.

Where'd you hear a crazy thing like that?

A reliable source. Anyway, that part's not important.

Oh, Mr. Belding, I think it's very important. I mean, Mr. Lyman's

at stake.

Milo. Who?

It was Milo.

Milo? Well, he said that you know how Milo always seems to know things.

He was watching this oasis and never saw me.

Now, listen, before these rumors go any further, I think you should come with

me. Now, my class has just started. Right now, I'll bet they're listening to

most captivating lecture they've ever had. They're interested. They're

And they're gone.

Did you find them? Mr. Belding, calm down.

This is as calm as it gets. Did you find them?

Sort of.

What do you mean, sort of?

Mr. Morton saw them scaling the south fence and heading into the woods.

This calls for drastic action.

I know, I know.

Call the dairy and see if they can get an entire class picture on a carton of

milk.

Mr. Belding, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for

remember that when I'm being grilled by 60 minutes.

Where are the kids?

I knew I forgot something.

They're at lunch.

Mr. Lyman, where were you? We've been worried sick.

I'll handle this.

Mr. Lyman, where were you? She's been worried sick.

I took the class for a walk.

I'll bet you didn't know that many very historical events happened in and around

this school.

Didn't I say there was a perfectly reasonable explanation?

And? I'll bet you didn't know General Minkin fought a decisive battle against

the Sioux right next to the 7 -Eleven.

I never knew that.

That's great.

I suppose the next thing you're going to tell me is that they celebrated their

victory with a slurpee.

You threw that too?

Carrie, the man should be on Jeopardy.

Pardon me, but at this public school, we have radical teaching plans.

They include putting the students in the classroom and having them read out of

books. But this is my way.

This is how you make history come alive.

What Mr. Lyman is trying to say is that although his ways may seem a bit

unorthodox, there is a method to his... Maddening?

I wasn't going to say that.

This is all my fault. I never told Mr. Lyman the rules. I'm glad we agree on

something. Mitchell Belding.

Look, while you two argue, I'm going to the cafeteria to meet my class.

I promised I'd have dessert with them.

Explain that to him.

Mr. Lyman, why are you having us move our desks?

Because we're going on another trip.

I love this guy.

He's got guts.

All right, everybody.

Close your eyes.

We're traveling back to the year 1863.

The event, the turning point of the Civil War.

Open your eyes.

Where are we?

Gettysburg. But I don't think I have the right address.

All right, picture this.

It's a warm summer's day.

Look over there.

What do you see?

A blackbird?

No, Mikey.

It's a grove of birch trees.

which concealed General Meade and the Union troops atop Cemetery Ridge.

And look.

Look over there.

Do you see them?

It's General Lee and the Confederate forces moving down into that grass

valley. And in the distance, you can hear the faint drums of the Confederacy.

Rat -a -tat -tat.

Rat -a -tat -tat.

Upon a hill, a bugle called... The Union soldiers to the ready.

Troops, grab your weapons.

They're almost upon one another.

The commander calls ready.

Aim.

Fire.

Where's hell, son?

Let the battle begin!

Yeah!

Hey!

See? Fire!

Lass! You just broke one of the cardinal rules of war.

Don't kill the teacher.

Sammy! Get your corpse off back to its desk.

Mr. Lyman.

I assume there is a lecture that goes along with this demonstration.

You just missed it. Guess what?

The North won again.

I'm telling you, I love this guy.

Mitchell Lyman, this is my history class.

I would prefer it taught in a more constructive manner.

More constructive?

Well, if you really feel like that... I do.

Then the class is all yours.

Nikki, you're putting on way too much eyeshadow.

Stuff was obviously invented by men.

Women wouldn't do this to each other.

You'll get the hang of it.

The secret to wearing makeup is to look like you're not wearing any.

But I've got fake nails, fake eyelashes, and fake jewelry.

Why am I doing this?

So the third baseman can notice the real you.

How can he notice the real me?

I can't even notice the real me.

That's not true.

I know who I am.

I'm a killer southpaw.

A wicked fighter.

Lisa?

I'm pitching.

He's an old pitcher.

Thanks.

Mr. Lyman.

Please come in.

Make yourself at home.

This is very nice.

Thank you.

Look what I just found.

One of my old term papers.

Me plus.

I remember this paper.

You deserved an A. You should have complained.

I did complain.

Here is an A.

Happy now?

Yes.

But you didn't come here to change my grade.

No, I just thought I'd come by and give you a chance to apologize.

Me apologize? I accept.

And if I caused you any trouble with that principal guy, I'm sorry.

But that is not an apology.

Mr. Lyman, will you explain something for me, please?

My pleasure.

How could you give Zach Morris a hall pass that doesn't expire until July?

Obviously, you didn't look at it any closer than young Morris did at first.

The date.

is July 3rd, 1863, to be exact.

But that's the day the Battle of Gettysburg ended.

Very good, Carrie.

And Zack Morris will never forget that date, either.

Very good, Mr. Lyman.

But still, there are rules.

Rules?

Oh, Carrie, not you, too.

You know I was never very big on rules.

It's learning that's important.

It's about kids and teachers.

Well, if it's so important to you, why are you retiring?

I'm not retiring.

They kicked me out.

They did what?

They call it early retirement, but they threw me out.

But why on earth would they do that?

Because I'm a dinosaur.

Because I kept reminding them and reminding them. Teaching isn't about

And requisitions and rules and psychologists and SAT scores. It's like

It's about kids.

And kids need you. You can't take this lying down.

You have to fight.

It's not my battle anymore.

But it's like you always said. The system only works if we keep challenging

But I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting.

You fight them for both of us.

You know what?

Maybe I'll take my class for a history walk tomorrow.

You know, kid, you were always my favorite.

As so, the Battle of Gettysburg was the turning point in the Civil War.

Any questions?

No, I think you pretty well covered it. Right, Zack.

You're always such a sponge of intellectual curiosity.

And you always pitch winning games.

Well, if you hadn't have made three errors, we would have won.

Detail. Okay, settle down.

Mr. Lyman?

Is that you? My name is Abraham Lincoln.

Oh.

Same thing happened to my grandfather.

You did it.

Seeing a man who's been dead over a hundred years walking down your hall as

way of attracting one's attention.

Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent

a new nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition

that all men are created equal.

Is this the beginning of Mr. Lyman's comeback?

No. I think it's his farewell address.

What a way to go.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war.

Testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived or so dedicated,

long endure.

We are met on a great battlefield of that war.

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place.

for those who gave their lives that that nation might live.

I'm fine, Jack.

Maybe it's time you went back on your medication.

My mother and my sister, they depend on me.

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