All language subtitles for Daniels.Gotta.Die.2022.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX].en

- Hello?

Hello?

Jessica?

Victor?

Mia?

Hi, I'm Daniel Powell.

This is a picture of
a big happy family.

It's not mine.

I don't actually have a picture
of my family all together.

In fact, we haven't
had a meal together

since I was four years old.

I do have a picture of
my father and I though,

Edward James Powell,
the billionaire.

He raised me on his
own when Mom died.

I mean, he had some help

from his second in
command, Lawrence.

And this is my brother,
Victor, his twin sister Mia,

and our sister Jessica.

They were sent away
to boarding school

after Mom passed away,
so I don't remember much,

but I do remember

that Jessica was quite
caring and generous.

- And don't forget to
like, subscribe, share,

and use hashtag of the
week, #HomelessIsBad.

- Spare change?

- Oh my God, babe, can
we go back upstairs?

I think that homeless guy over
there is like looking at me.

- What guy? Where?

- Spare change?

- This guy?

- And I
always remember Mia

as being a real people person.

- Hi, excuse me, Ms. Powell.

You have a call from-

- No.

- Okay,
would you like me to-

- No.

Carter?

- Yes.

- Did you take a message?

- And Victor?

Well, he always had a nose
for the finer things in life.

- Oh shit.

Oh, that ain't good.

I am a sous chef

and hoping to open my
own restaurant one day.

That is tarragon vinegar.

- Tarragon.

- That's Emily, my
biggest fan and now fiancee.

- Please tell me when
you open your own place,

you're gonna serve this.

- We've been trying to
get everyone together

to tell 'em the big news but...

I just have to remind myself,

they are incredibly busy
people and they couldn't come.

No luck so far.

We're gonna see 'em tonight.

I just wish it was for
a different reason.

Dad.

- Oh.

Daniel.

- Oh.

- Daniel.

- Dad.
- Daniel.

Oh, you're just the
one I wanted to see.

- Yeah?

- I screwed up.

I spent a whole lifetime
pushing people away,

putting money above everything.

And what do I have
to show for it?

Nothing.

Just a big hole in my life.

A big hole filled with millions
and millions of dollars.

- That's not really a hole, Dad.

- But none of it means
anything if you're alone,

and that's why I'm
so glad you're here.

I want to tell you-

- Hold on.

I think I know what
you're gonna say.

That you feel like something's
been missing your entire life

and that you see the same
thing happening with me.

And now is the time that we
need each other the most, right?

And so you know what
I'm gonna do, Dad?

I'm gonna go out there and
I'm gonna get my brother

and my two sisters and I'm
gonna bring 'em in here

so that we can be
together as a family.

- Oh, fuck no,
don't you do that.

- Oh?

- Pull it.

You bring them in here and
I'll yank it right now.

- Dad, you need those meds.

Please stop, calm down.

- You're right, they'd
love that, wouldn't they?

To see the old man
kick the bucket?

- No, they wouldn't
want that at all.

They're not evil.

- They're greedy and
they're ungrateful

and they're lazy
and they're scummy.

- They're your children.

And they're the only
family I got if I lose you.

- Look, I got plenty
of fight left in me

and you got yourself a good
girl, a wedding coming up,

so go start a family with her.

- I don't wanna start a family.

I have one.

- One you couldn't last a
weekend with if I paid you.

- Well, that's not true.

Why don't we do this, Dad?

Why don't we go to
the beach house, huh?

I mean, that's what we
did after Mom passed

and we had a good time, right?

I mean, I was four.

I don't really remember.

- Okay, Daniel.

Okay.

- Okay?

- Okay, we'll go.

It'll be a good chance

for you to really get
to know your family.

- Well, that's good.

That's what I want to hear.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go get the
doctor, get an update.

You just rest, okay?

You mean it, right, Dad?

- Of course.

Over my dead fucking body.

- Doctor.

I would like an update on
Edward James Powell immediately.

- Jessica.

- Brother.

- Hi.

I'm so glad you came.

- We're gonna get through this.

It's like I always
say to my followers,

in times like these-

- Make sure to share, like, and
smash that subscribe button.

- That's not where that
part goes, asshole.

- Yes, go here-

- Whoa!

- Is he dead?
- Did he die?

- I mean, is he dead?

- Did he die?

- Your father is
fine, thank God.

And I was worried about him.

- You dragged me all the
way down here for that?

Lawrence, can you just
like go get us an espresso

or something?

- He's not your
manservant, okay?

He's Dad's.

- Look, I have something
to tell you all.

I spoke with the doctors

and it appears there's
a bit of a concern.

- What?

I was just with
Dad, he seemed fine.

- He is fine.

Daniel, he's fine.

He will be discharged
sometime today.

- Thank God.

- Your father's a
very strong man.

Very strong.

He's not even scared of words

like terminal or
aggressively incurable.

They don't scare him.

And do you know why?

I'll tell you why.

He has an inner fuel,

a fuel that will help
him fight this thing.

So mark my words,

the world has not seen the
last of Edward James Powell.

- You okay, babe?

- Yeah, I just...

Not looking forward to this.

I want everybody to be happy.

You know, I want my
father to get the respect

that he deserves and...

- See.

- Mia, hi.

- Daniel, hello.

Melinda.

- Emily.

- Emily.

How are you?

- Fine, thanks.

- I'm sure you are.

- Why weren't you
at the funeral?

- I don't think
that Dad noticed.

Besides, I sent flowers.

- Balloons.

- Balloons.
- Yeah.

- It's the thought that counts.

- Clearly.

- I don't like her.

- Anyone else left in your
family for me to meet?

- God.

- I have my lawyer standing by

in the case of any
unfortunate monetary decisions

made by my father.

- Like you even need it.

- I do need it.

Whatever money I get
is money you don't.

What are you doing?

- Taking pictures of you
and posting the ugliest one.

- Why are we still talking?

Okay, can we just cut
the fucking checks

so we can get outta here?
I got an appointment.

- Is that what they're calling
merciless beatings now?

- All right, enough, everybody.

To my left, I have the
last will and testament

of your father, Edward James
Powell, dated 10 years ago.

It is very generous to
everyone in attendance.

- Good.

- Equal shares all around.

And to my right,

I have a notarized affidavit
hereby negating everything

that's in this document,

thereby making this document...

Completely worthless.

- What?

- Wait, what the
hell is going on?

- It would seem that your
father had a change of heart

after his little
talk with Daniel

in the hospital the other day.

- Do we just like
get nothing now?

- That's entirely up to Daniel.

See, Daniel now has the
freedom, if he so chooses,

to walk away in an
instant with everything.

- Everything?

- Everything.

- Like all of it?

- That's what everything means.

- Or he could choose to
share the inheritance

with all of you,
but not equally.

He would retain 50% and then
the rest of you would split,

you know, you do the math.

- Well, what's 3/2
divided by 1/3?

- Try again.

- Of course, in that instance,
you all would get nothing

if you don't adhere to
the rules of your father.

- What rules are
you talking about?

- Ah, follow me, please.

- If you're watching
this, it means I'm dead.

- Oh, no shit.

- Oh, shh.

- What? It's not
like he can hear us.

- We can cut the bullshit
for the time being.

Daniel has a choice to make.

Daniel can share his fortune,

but that means that the
rest of you will have

to spend the weekend together.

- No.

- Getting to know one
another as only a family can.

- No!

- At our family beach house.

The flight leaves
the Toronto hangar

at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

- No.

- What?

- It's early.

- If, however, one of
you doesn't show up

or bails before the
weekend is over,

then Lawrence will
redistribute your inheritance

to the others.

- That's my favorite part.

- Now, you can't just sit
in your room for the weekend

and ride it out.

You actually have to be
together like a real family.

If you don't, Lawrence
knows what to do.

Do not disappoint me.

So Daniel, what's
it going to be?

- I'm calling my lawyer.

- Well, maybe we should
talk about it first.

- Let's do it!

- So this is how we
get to your beach house

in the Cayman Islands?

- Yep, Dad's little
weekend getaway.

Come on.

- Where the hell is Victor?

- Maybe right there.

- Hey, easy, easy, easy, easy.

- God.
- Jesus.

- Oh, oh God!

What the hell?

- Why is she here?

- Emily?
- Sorry, you referring to me?

- We were told not
to bring anyone.

- Not the face!

- You brought Carter.

- Lawrence!

- Okay, let's
go check the plane out.

- All right,
we'll see you Monday.

- Remember, Monday,
or we cut more off.

- Yeah, see you Monday.

Yeah.

Hey, what's up?

Good guys, right?

Gave me a free ride to the
airport and everything.

- They seem positively
charmed by you.

- Is this machete
adequate, Ms. Powell?

- That will do.
- Okay.

- What the fuck is that for?

- It's for hacking
things like fingers.

- Jokes on you.

They use pliers.

Who the fuck needs
a pinky anyway?

- Let's cut to the chase.

How much money did
you blow on drugs?

- Shit ton.

- So you need a
lot of money fast.

- What do you think?

- I have been thinking.

Let's say something were
to happen to the person

who's in line to receive
the largest sum of money,

say, on a secluded
tropical island?

Then you and I would stand to
make a great deal of money.

- Hey, let's go,
it's island time!

- Lawrence.

There is no wifi on
this piece of shit.

How am I supposed
to live stream?

Can you set up a
hotspot or something?

- Allow me to make
something very clear to you.

I am not your servant.

This weekend, I am
the one in charge.

I make the rules.

And my first rule is
fuck your hotspot.

- We are almost there.

It should be coming...

Okay, there it is, there it is.

The old family beach house.

- You do know what a
beach house is, right?

- Yeah.

Oh, Dad's made a few little
upgrades along the way.

- Little upgrades.

- The girlfriend
complicates things.

- Look.

Why don't we just
get him to leave?

- How do you propose we do that?

Little Daniel is on a mission

to fulfill our dear
dad's dying wish.

- And I just believe
that if you live

on the frequency of positivity,
then nothing can go wrong.

- Killing him is
the only option.

- Isn't there like
a less violent way?

- Oh, hey everybody!

We got board games!

Apple Grapple?

- I'll think about it.

- Oh, wow.

- Damn.

- Welcome, everybody.

I realize that most of
you have not been here

for quite a while,

but I also don't want you to
think of this as a vacation

because it is not.

Here you are, Daniel.

For the first time in your
lives, you are going to work.

In case you missed the
fine print in the will,

your father made a list of
things for each of you to do.

Those are called chores.

Enjoy.

- Wow, this is great, huh?

It's way bigger
than I remembered.

Look at this, you got the
ocean as a background here,

a big home movie theater,
storage shed for storin' stuff.

If this
place could talk.

- It'd tell you to
shut the fuck up.

- Baby?

- Hey.

- Hey, why aren't we unpacked?

- Daniel, I think
I made a mistake.

I don't think I belong here.

- Of course you do.

You belong here as much as I do.

- Exactly.

- Okay, that's fair.

Look, I know this is
a bit crazy, right?

They're a bit crazy.

But this also was
my dad's dying wish,

a wish that he
made because of me,

so I think it's fitting
that we're, you know,

here at the place
that we were after...

You know, after Mom.

- You know, you never
really talk about her.

- Well, we never
talk about her, so...

Okay, there's just not
a lot to talk about.

My dad said that she died
doing what she loved.

That's all I know.

And that's sort of when
everything changed, right?

They left and it was
just me and him at home.

And you know, it
was great, right?

Like, but I think we both
felt the absence, right?

Not just of Mom,
but of everyone.

And in the hospital,

my dad talked about the
loneliness that he felt in life.

And I think that
I feel that too.

So that's why I owe it
to myself and to them

to just try to bring
us back together.

Right, that's fair?

- That's fair.

- It's a nice setting.

It's pretty.

- Couple of days?

- Couple of days.

- Fine.

- Love you.

- Couple days.

- Couple days, and
then we're out.

Let's unpack.

Where's my?

There it is.

Ah.

- She's around him all
the time, there's no-

- A lame excuse.

- No, it's not.

- Groceries up, ding ding!

Oh, I hope you two are
ready for the best meal

of your entire lives.

You know, I've always
said food is the one thing

that can bring any
family together.

- Yes, nothing brings
people together more

than two bags of lettuce.

- Right, yeah?

Exactly.

All right, well, I will
leave you two to your chores.

- Oh, that reminds me.

Carter!

- Yes, Ms. Powell.

- Do you have that chore list?

- Yes, I do.

- Are they done?

- No.

- Carter?
- Yeah.

- Make sure to get them all.

- Are you sure?

'Cause most of these are rotted.

- Easier to cut then.

- Fucking coconuts.

Jesus!

- What do you
think you're doing?

- Eating.

- Did you finish chopping?

- Oh, no, I'm just
taking a break.

Plus there's like 20
other things on that list.

One of them just
says dig a hole.

- Did you dig a hole?

- Uh-uh-uh!

Nope, that's not
till after dinner.

- What is it?

- Oh, let's just say

that I made a little
something something

for each and every one of you.

You want a hint?

- No.

- No, that's fine.

It's better.

It's better it's a surprise.

It's fine, all right.

- What you got there,
more fucking envelopes?

- These envelopes are
quite different, Victor,

because inside here are
things that you might get.

Money, stocks, properties.

Ah, but only if you
follow the rules

that have been laid
out by your father,

which means it's family time.

And more importantly, you're
gonna spend some time together,

a lot of time together.

And believe me,
after all the years

of abuse and suffering
you have put me through,

I will have no shortage of joy

in just eliminating any of
you from this inheritance

that you so think
you're entitled to.

Okay,
enjoy your dinner.

I need a drink.

- I haven't eaten
since the funeral.

Danny, let's go, dinner!

- Oh, dinner won't be
ready for about an hour.

Yeah, sorry, but you
know what they say.

The best meals take time, right?

Relax, drink some wine,
talk amongst yourselves,

and remember, no peeking.

Eh?

- Sounds cheap.

- Looks cheap.

- Excuse me.

- How do you even?

It's cake.

- "To my trusted
advisor, Lawrence,

"I extend my deepest gratitude

"and you will receive full
compensation for the weekend."

Yada, yada, yada, come
on, what do I get?

- And I leave
to you my undying thanks

for your years of steadfast
loyalty and hard work.

Also my grandfather
clock in my study,

which will hopefully bring
you as much happiness

as it did me.

- I devoted my
entire life to you.

I gave you everything I had,
and this is all I meant to you?

A fucking clock?

This is what I think
of your fucking clock!

- Lawrence.

What the fuck are you doing?

Is that our money?

- Are you live streaming this?

- No.

That's like totally
off brand for me.

I'm doing this as evidence

of whatever the
fuck you're doing.

- Well, this is my money
and I'm leaving with it.

- Oh, like hell you are.

I show this to Mia and she'll
sue you like five times

before you even
get out that door.

- Do you know what I
did for your father?

- I don't know, some like
old guy servant shit?

- Besides my normal duties,

I did things for your father
that he did not want to do.

- What, did you like
kill people or something?

- No.

I killed secrets.

Your father desperately
wanted to protect his image,

which was extremely
difficult to do with you.

- It was a Halloween costume.

I was paying tribute
to their culture.

- Phone, please.

Thank you.

And delete.

- What do you want?

- I just want what's mine.

And you're going
to help me get it.

- Jesus Christ.

- This the Powell residence?

- Yeah, yeah, it is.

- Thank you very much.

- Wait, wait.

Aren't you gonna deliver that?

Whatever.

- Shit!

Don't do that.

- Victor.

I need to give this to you.

- Oh, I
didn't know you cared.

- It's for Daniel.

- Daniel doesn't do coke.

- Do not put that up your nose.

- That's where it goes.

- It's poison.

- No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I said I'd think about it, okay?

I didn't say I was gonna...

Okay, if I did it, how
would I even do it?

- You put it in his wine.

Now.

The old imbecile keeps
changing the plan,

so time is of the essence.

- It's not coke.

- Victor.

Hey.

You want some wine?

- No, I don't drink.

I'm just admiring yours.

You know, that looks
like a great year.

- Great year.

- It's very red.

What'd you make in there?

Is that spaghetti?

- No, no.

That's actually a
homemade Stringozzi pasta

that Idid myself here

and I've slow roasted the
tomatoes for about three hours.

That's what gets the sauce
nice and beautiful here.

See, the key is-

- Yeah, it sounds like a lot
of bullshit for spaghetti.

- Yeah, it's very
spaghetti-esque, I'd say.

I'm kind of in the
middle of this.

Is there something
I can get you or?

- No, just quality time
with my baby brother.

- Oh, well, that's nice to
hear, to be honest, you know.

Actually I do have something
I want to talk to you about.

- Yeah?

- Can you keep a secret?

- Kidding me? Yeah, man,
I'll take it to your grave.

- Sorry?

- What?

- You said, "I'll take
it to your grave."

- Yeah, I'll take
it to my grave.

- No, you said your
grave, as in my grave,

not as in your grave.

- I don't know what
you're talking about.

- You know what, never mind.

Nobody needs to take
anything to a grave here.

Everybody's gonna
know soon enough.

- Yeah.

- Just too excited.

Wanna share it with somebody.

Emily and I are getting married.

- Get the fuck outta here.
- I know, it's crazy.

- That's, yeah, great.

- Yeah, it's...

Whew, feeling it, just
saying it feels great.

You know, I haven't told
any of the others yet.

You're the first
to know, so yeah.

- That's something special.

- Yeah, you know?

I mean, I feel like this
is kind of the thing

that we should be doing,
sharing things like this, right?

It's what family's for.

- Give me one of these.

- Yeah, right.

- There we go.

- Yeah,
the hug, it's nice.

Oh!

Hey.

You're my brother
and I love you.

- Okay, that's enough.

- Yeah, yeah.

Emotional for me too.

- Yeah, we should cheers.

- Cheers.

Yeah, of course.

- Drink up.

- No.

That's my timer.

Let me just check this.

We're not there yet.

However, I have
the perfect thing.

Yep, this is gonna do.

- No, no.

- Oh yeah, I know, I know.

It seems crazy, right?

It was a lot of wine.

You'll just barely taste it.

It'll give it a
kick, just like that.

Wanna taste it now?

- Fuck no.
- No, okay, got it.

- Well, he didn't wanna
leave me anything,

so I'm just gonna
have to take it.

I want half.

- Half?

- Well, I could take the whole
thing, but I'm not greedy.

Actually, 75%.

Turns out I am a little greedy.

Look, it's more than you'd make

if you stuck out the
weekend with your family.

Don't hurt yourself.

All I need you to do is

keep your imbecilic
siblings occupied

while I sneak all the
money out of the house.

We don't want 'em to
know anything we're up to

until we are long gone.

- Hey babe, it's me.

Looks like we need to take care

of another loose
end before you go.

I just wanna tell you guys

what's been on my
mind a lot lately.

Clouds.

Like what are they?

And where do they come from?

- Soon, my love.

Soon.

- And like, do they ever leave?

And when they leave,
where do they go?

And like, why are
some green and red?

- Bingo.

- Oh, that's perfect.

That's it right there.

It was the wine.

Do you mind keeping
an eye on everything

while I just go to
the bathroom quickly?

- Yep.
- Okay, great.

Thanks.

- Have a good...

- I will.

- Fuck.

Damn it.

That an iguana?

No time to slow roast that shit.

- Victor, what the
hell is going on?

- Fucking cooking, okay?

So go stall him, will you?

- Daniel, I was just
looking for you.

- You were?

- I need to talk to
you about my feelings.

- What was that?
- Nothing.

- Sounded like something.

- I heard it earlier
and it was nothing.

- Okay.

- Now about my feelings.

- Jesus.

- I know how important
feelings are to you.

- Excuse me, I have to go,
I have a dinner going on.

I have to go check
on the dinner.

- Hey, dinner's ready.

- Did you do it?

- Mm-hm.

It was a little glitch,
but he took a sip.

- You moron. He had to
take the whole thing,

otherwise it'll just make him...

- Make him what?

- Daniel?

- Yeah.

- Baby, what happened?

- This isn't gonna
go back together.

Oh, I don't know.

- Are you okay?

- You okay, pal?

- Yes, yes.

We're gonna do the
dinner, okay, just...

- It's not my fault.

- Just give me a minute.

Oh shit!

- Give me two minutes.

Oh.
- Careful.

- I don't eat carbs.

- Oh, oh, okay.

Well, you can eat
the sauce then.

- But you don't have to do this.

There'll be other dinners.

- No, no.

I worked hard on this meal.

We're gonna enjoy it.

- Oh, no.

- I'm good.

Oh God.

- Daniel?

- Poor Daniel. You
know, he was telling me

in the kitchen he
wasn't feeling well,

must have been
something he drank.

Or ate.

All right, let's leave it there.

- It's all fucking bedrock.

- You hungry?

- Yes, yes, I'm so starving.

Thank you so much for that.

This is honestly the nicest
thing anyone's ever...

Thank you.

- Daniel?

Are you okay?

- I think you
should probably pick me up

some medicine from town.

Just ask the pharmacist

what they'd give to
someone throwing up organs.

- Okay, all right.

- Oh, God.

- Leaving?

- Yeah.

Daniel's not feeling well,

so I'm gonna grab
something for his stomach.

- How wonderfully kind of you.

- Right.

Does anyone need anything?

- I could use a couple of
things now that you mention it.

Let me just make a
list of ingredients.

That's one.

Victor.
- Jesus!

Stop doing that.

- I've secured us ample time.

Now might be our only chance
with him alone, so get it done.

- What would you like me to use?

I'm kind of out of options here.

What, should I put him
down for a fucking nap?

- Yes, an eternal nap.

Let me know when you're done.

- Close the door.

Close it.

Hello?

Hello?

Jessica?

Victor?

Mia?

- Don't fucking make a move.

Keep your fucking voice down.

Don't make this harder
than it has to be.

Oh, fuck, that's disgusting.

What the fuck?

- I know you.

Aren't you-

- Shit.

- Whew!

Jesus.

- So Daniel, I was
thinking you should...

Okay, it's like a...

Okay, it's just...

Yeah, yeah, that'll do it.

That's good.

Lawrence.

- Victor.

- I was just going
to check on Daniel.

- With a pillow?

- Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Brotherly bonding stuff.

- With a pillow.

- Mm-hm, mm-hm, yeah.

It's...

- Lawrence, join
me for a moment.

- Oh God, the shed?

- All right, what is it, Mia?

It's late.

- I'd like to offer you a job.

- A job?

- Yes.

I think you're just the kind
of man we're looking for.

A real go-getter, as the
kids say, CEO material.

- Well.

- Do it, you can do it,
you can do it, just...

Who the fuck are you?

- And of course I would
need a company car.

- Of course.

Oh, position has
just been filled.

She's a good woman,
you'd love her.

- I'm flexible on the car.

Mia?

- Victor.

- Look.

- That's not Daniel.
- Right?

- Who's that?

- I think it's the mailman.

- What gives you that idea?
- He's dressed like a mailman.

- Shut up.

Where's Daniel?

Victor?

- Oh.

- Lawrence.

Hi.

- Hi.

- You're just the
person I wanted to see.

Come here.

- Okay.

- Yeah, this should
do the trick.

- Well, that explains that.

- What do you think,
do you think he's dead?

- Not unless the dead breathe.

- So what do we do now?

- We do exactly what
we have been doing.

- Okay.

So like what?

- You know who that is?

- What?

Yes, it's a fucking mailman.

- It's the man
who killed Daniel.

- Oh.

I don't follow you.

Oh.

- You get it?
- No.

- I don't know why I
didn't see it before.

They're trying to kill Daniel.

- Exactly.

Them, not me.

- Well, we've gotta stop them.

- Or we get outta
here with the money

before they try
and kill us next.

- Right.

- Oh, no, we can't go out there.

They'll see us.

It's better to go
off the balcony,

stop at the shed to get
like a weapon or something,

and then get to a car.

- Well, we could use mine.

I've already transported
half the money into it.

- I'm beginning to
like you more and more.

- No one's ever said
that to me before.

- I understand why.

What?

- Victor, move,
so I can drop him.

- Can you give me a second
to get off this ladder?

Okay, I'm down a digit.

God.

All right, send him down.

Shit, wait.

What was that?

- What?

- That, that sound,
you hear that sound?

- What sound?

- That sound.

It sounded like a...

Ow!

Fucking iguana!
- What iguana?

- The fucking iguana
that's biting me!

Fuck, get off, fuck!

- Yeah, fucking coconuts!

- Fuck, fuck!

- Jesus, shut up.
- Get off me!

- Oh shit, what
the hell is that thing?

- Oh shit.

Damn it.

- Kill it, kill it.

- Did you hear that?

It sounded like a chainsaw
and a lot of screaming.

- Whatever, let's just go.

- Okay.

- No, Lawrence, don't!

- Lawrence.

- Mia.

- What, you were just taking
a walk and it attacked you?

- That is exactly the story.

You know, the iguana is
a mystery, it's a riddle,

it's an anemic, you know?

And you never know what's
gonna provoke it to attack.

- What, what?

- You gotta finish
those coconuts, man.

I...

Sleep.

- Has anyone
seen my machete?

- Hey, hey.

She's here, she's back.

The girlfriend character.

She's here.

- Why aren't you stalling her?

- With what?

- What is on your shirt?

Who did you kill?

- No one, it was an iguana.

They're very explosive.

What do we do?

- You take care of them.

I'll take care of Emily.

- Who?

- Soon my love.

Hurry up.

- Stop ordering me around.

You know what, I'm
still in charge here.

And come to think of it,

you haven't given me any actual
proof that we're in danger.

For all I know,
Daniel's totally fine.

- What are you doing?

No, get back here!

- I'm getting the
fuck outta here.

- You are a fucking idiot!

- Crazy ass white people.

- Okay, now what, now what?

- Daniel, babe?

- What, no, you were
supposed to take care of her.

- Go.

- You keep changing the plan.

Shit.

- I got that medicine.

Hopefully it works
out better for you.

Jesus!

Mia.

You startled me.

- I have that effect on people.

- What are you
doing in our room?

And have you heard from Danny?

He's not picking up his phone.

- I believe Daniel and
Victor went on a night stroll

to get some fresh air.

- Okay.

Then what are you doing here?

- I heard a noise and
when I entered the room,

the door was open, but
it was just a breeze.

- Oh.

You know, I saw Lawrence and
Jessica running from the house.

You know anything about that?

- I can honestly say I don't.

- Oh shit, oh shit.

Oh.

Shit.

Okay, okay.

Okay, come on, come
on, let go of this.

One, two, three.

- I don't know, I just
feel like something's up.

Mia?

- Oh, hilarious.

- That's it, atta boy.

Okay, safe.

All right, enjoy your
ride, here we go.

- I'm calling the police.

- What?

Get your ass back here.

- No, you're all fucking crazy.

- I'm not losing that money!

- Why don't I make
us a couple of drinks

while we wait for the boys?

We can bond.

- Okay.

Milk, please.

- Great.

- You need help in there?

- I'm fine.

- Okay.

- I can't see you.

The hell is he?

Daniel?

Daniel?

Daniel?

- One milk.

- Thanks.

- Cheers.

- Right.

Daniel?

- Oh.

- Baby, where have you been?

- I don't know.
- Where's Victor?

- Hey.

Oh, hey, here I am.

Here you are.

God, I can't take my eyes
off this guy for a second.

- Yeah.

Oh, oh.

- Sit down.

- Where are we?

- Where are we?

Come on, man.

The beach house, duh.

- Why are you covered in blood?

- Hm?

Me?

I...

Iguana.

- An iguana?

- Attacked me outta nowhere.

- You expect me to believe that?

- Mm-hm.

- Hey, you found the machete?

- What the?
- Oh God.

Yeah, oh yeah, it's...

- Oh, okay.

- So I did.
- Wow.

- Why is there blood on it?

- Why is
there blood on it?

This guy cracks me up.

- Okay, why are you
covered in blood?

- Oh, an iguana attacked us.

- See?

So everything checks out.

- I dunno how to explain it,

but there's something
weird going on here.

- I gotta lay down.

- Okay.

Okay.

What's the last
thing you remember?

- Today?

Laying down for a nap.

And then, oh, I had a sexy
dream about wrestling a mailman.

And that's about it.

- Okay.

We're done.

We're going now.

- What?

No, no, no, no, I
can't just leave them.

Come on.

- You don't even like them.

They sure as hell
don't like you, babe.

- So?

You don't have to
like your family.

Like, listen, you're never
gonna understand this

because you had yours
your entire life.

I can't even get these guys
to sit down for a dinner.

I mean, if I give up
now, like what do I have?

- What do you mean,
what do you have?

You have me.

- No, no, no, that's...

No, you can't ask to take the
place of my entire family.

That's not how it works.

Why can't you just
give 'em a shot?

- Because I hate them.

I hate them.

They treat you bad.

They treat each other worse.

And I'm not gonna sit here

waiting for something
terrible to happen, okay?

- Okay, then don't.

- What?

- Then don't.

The rental's in the driveway.

Go ahead and take it.

- Okay, you don't mean that.

- I'm gonna stay
here with my family

and it doesn't sound
like you want to.

Oh God.

- Where am I sleeping?

- The couches seem comfortable.

Oh, leaving so soon?

- Yes.

I'm sure that'll
make you very happy.

- And Daniel's not
going with you?

- No.

For whatever reason,

he thinks you all actually
want to be his family.

- Well, we are his family.

- No, you're not.

Family's supposed to be
caring, loving, supportive.

- My God.

You're worse than he is.

You think you're gonna
give some little speech

on your way out the door
about love and togetherness

that will make us see
the error of our ways

and live forevermore
in familial bliss.

Well, you're not.

You're just gonna leave.

Goodbye.

- That was Daniel's rental car.

- But we just saw Daniel's body.

Do you think-

- They're disposing
of his body? Yes.

Good thinking, Lawrence.

I can see why Dad
kept you around.

That means the coast is clear.

Let's go to the shed.

- Fuck the shed.

Let's get the hell outta here.

- Couches are comfy.

Fucking witch never
gives me a break.

Shit.

- Jesus.

What the fuck?

- Oh!

Oh no.

- We say a tree fell on him.

- What, bash his head in
with a fucking coconut?

- Exactly.

At the deposition, I'll
say we were all so crushed.

I wouldn't be able to
keep a straight face.

Use the machete.

- Psychopath.

- And that's all of it?

- Yep.

You know your father,

always liked to make
a big, bold statement.

Like giving somebody a clock.

- Oh my God, enough
with the clock already.

- You're right.

Doesn't matter.

This'll more than
take care of that.

There's enough here
to last us a lifetime.

- Oh, fuck me.

Please, please, please
pick up, please pick up.

Come on, pick up,
please pick up.

- Oh, so now you wanna call me?

Okay.

Nope.

You wanna stay there with
that crazy ass family?

All good with me.

- Pick up.

- Hey, this is
Emily, I'll call you back.

- Oh shit!

Baby, baby.

I'm sorry, I take back
everything I said.

These are horrible,
horrible people.

And if you don't come get me
right now, something very bad-

- Daniel?

Daniel, we're making tea.

Do you care to join us?

Daniel?

Daniel?

Oh, fuck!

- Daniel.
- Jesus!

- Join us for tea.

Daniel?
- Yep, coming.

- I mean, they're probably
not gonna notice it's gone.

Yeah, they'd just
waste it anyway.

- Babe?

Babe?

Babe?

My love.

- Oh, hey, brother.

Come here.

I saved you a seat.

Anyway, we saw that
Emily left you, right?

You must be crushed.

- I heard a joke earlier.

- Point is, we're
here for you, right?

We're family.

You know the expression, right?

You know, you can
pick your friends,

but family is something
that is around you,

surrounds you, penetrates you.

- I don't know that
that's how it goes.

- What we're saying
is, Emily left.

She doesn't love you.

We're here because we...

We...

We love you.

And we want to
talk about family.

So let's take a walk.

Now.

- Baby, I'm sorry, I
take back everything I said.

These are horrible,
horrible people and-

- Shit!

- Hop to it.

- You hop to it. Why do I
always have to hop to it?

- Because you're the oldest.

- We're twins.

- You came out first.

- You cheat.

Fine, fine.

You know what they say?

If you want something
done, it's go time.

- Jesus!

- Fuck you, stupid.

- What the hell?

- Hey.

What the hell's going on here?

- Yes, what are you doing?

Don't answer, it's rhetorical.
- Jesus, Mia.

- Put the bag down.

- What bag?

- Put it down.

Getting a little greedy, I see.

Honestly, the things some
people do for money these days.

- Oh my God, you guys
are all so horrible.

Dad would be so
disappointed, and Mom.

- Mom?

Mom was a drunk.

A boozy stinking lush who drank
herself to an early grave.

Classic Daniel.

Can't see what's
right in front of you.

- Well, I was four, I...

Dad-

- Dad?

Dad, the workaholic ghost who
came around just long enough

to sweep his failures under
the rug and cast us away

like the monsters we are?

No.
- Whoa!

- Do you know what it's like
to be sent away at a young age?

Spend your days in a
wretched boarding school

with your idiot siblings?

- Hey!

- Fuck you.

- Okay.

So what's the plan here, Mia?

Huh?

You're gonna take
all the family money

and you think that's
gonna fix everything?

- The plan was to steal
your money, Daniel.

You had it all.

You don't even see it.

It was the perfect plan.

Then you had to come around
with your feelings and your love

and then you just
won't fucking die!

Ow!

- Fucking coconut.

- I hope the irony isn't
lost on you when you wake up.

- Hey!

Back off now.

You know, I thought we'd have
a family bonfire this weekend,

so now's as good a time as ever.

- No!
- No!

- Toss me the machete.

Ah, slide me the machete.

- You wouldn't.

- No!

Give it to him, give it.

- Let's talk.

- Yes, let's.

- Okay.

- Let's talk over dinner.

All right, everybody good?

Good.

That should do it.

- Do you really think
this is necessary?

- That's for the
cops to figure out.

- Daniel, I was your father's
most trusted advisor.

Daniel, he was my best friend.

What would he say?

- You know, I don't
know anymore, Lawrence.

The father that I knew
wouldn't have thrown me

to the fucking wolves back here.

- Is that really what you think?

- Yeah.

- Well, it's not true.

Your father just wanted
you to see your family

for who they really are.

Everything he did was just
done to look out for you.

Why do you think you were
the one to stay home?

Only you?

- I thought he
wanted to protect me,

which is more than
what you've done.

- Well, I sure as hell
didn't try to kill you

like those monsters in there.

- All right, that's it.

There we go.

Carter.

What the hell is this?

Is there just money
lying around everywhere?

- I actually found
that in a clock.

- A clock?

- Yeah, yeah, in the study.

That wasn't even all of it.

There's more.

- Daniel.

Daniel.

- Shut up!

Get outta here.
- Okay.

- Daniel.

The money was in the clock.

- Wow.

Took a heck of a lot of work,

but I finally got you all to
sit down for a family dinner.

Ah!

I forgot the most
important part.

Can't have dinner without food.

Enjoy.

- Oh my God, that
smells like shit.

What's going on?

What's happening?

- Daniel's lost it.

- He's trying to kill
us with your awful meal.

- What do you mean awful meal?

Do you know how long that
took me to make for you?

- Enough!

Let's see what we have here.

Oh, shit.

You know, before I got here,

I told Emily to try to find
the good in all of you.

I said, it's gotta be there.

After all, we're family, right?

We share the same blood, right?

- Yep.

- And I'm not a bad guy.

So that must mean
that there's some good

in all of you, right?

- You are so right.

- So incredibly right.

- We're so alike.

- In so many ways.

- Like in each and every way.

- Yeah.

- But you tried to kill me.

- What?
- What?

I didn't...

- So doesn't that mean that
I have it in me to kill you?

- Okay, well, we're
not alike in every way.

- Yeah, like only a few ways.

- Ah.

- You know, it's funny.

I think Dad actually told
me that Mom had an affair.

- Oh, shit, there you go.

We're not even related, dude.

- I guess we should find out.

- How's he gonna do that?

It's like a DNA
test or something?

- Shut up.

- Come on, Daniel,
pick up, pick up.

Oh my God, I told you
their asses crazy and no.

It's okay, I'm
coming, I'm coming.

I'm coming, baby, I'm coming.

- So clearly you don't
give a damn about me.

And I know you don't give
a damn about each other.

But I think I do know
what you care about.

That's the cash.

- What?

- You monster!

- You're so stupid.

- No.

- Oh, I'm sure you want to
know what Dad left you, right?

- Yes.

- I mean, outside
of the stock options

and cash and
mountain properties,

the possibilities are endless.

And now they're gone.

- No!
- No!

- I can't watch.

- And this is all
that's left for you.

But before we get
into this, let me ask.

Who here hasn't tried
to kill me tonight?

No one?

- Well, to be fair, I got
someone to try and kill you

because I couldn't
actually do it myself.

- Well, thank you, Jessica.

That's worth a few bills.

- Such a kiss ass.

- Fuck off.
- Hey, fuck you.

- Victor.

- Yes, brother?

- Eat your dinner.

- Come on, you're not serious.

Okay, wait, wait, wait, no!

No.

- Eat.

- I would, if I had
hands and utensils.

- Oh, don't worry,
I'll help you.

- I can't.
- There you go.

- I can't.

- Okay.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Fine.

I'll eat it.

- Yeah.

Oh yeah, there you go.

Tell me it's good.

- So good.

- Serves you right.

- Jessica.

- Hm?

- Jessica, you're next.

- What?

No, no, no, no, no.

Daniel, you can't do this, okay?

This isn't fair.

They're the real killers.

- Not fair?

I'm sorry, did you just
say this is not fair?

- No.

- No, it's not fair, or
no, you didn't say it?

- What?

- Leave her alone.

She's never been good
at word problems.

- Leave her alone?

Why should I leave
any of you alone?

- Hey, dude.

- You tried to murder me!
- Come on!

- That is super dangerous.

- All I wanted was a family.

I just wanted to bring
my family together.

But could you give me that?

No.

And why, why me?

What the hell to did I
ever do to any of you?

Nothing.

I never saw you guys.

And this is how you treat me?

And worst of all,

you put the woman that I love
the most in life in danger.

- Did I tell you how much
I like her, by the way?

- Yeah, she is one of
the good ones, man.

Jessica and were talking the
other day, like she's a keeper.

- She's incredible.

- One of the good ones.

- That's so sweet,
thank you very much.

Fuck you.

- No, no, no!

- Give me one good reason

I shouldn't pour this
whole thing in right now.

- Sure.

I...

Love you.

- Oh, that's a terrible reason.

- Okay, okay, fine,
fine, fine, fine.

I fucking hate you.

- That's better.

- Well, I love you, Daniel.

I love you.

- Oh, that is rich.

- Oh, shut up, Mia!

- This is your fault.

- Fuck off!
- Fuck you.

- You guys can't even
last two minutes, can you?

And Dad, Dad was right, and
he warned me about this.

But I don't think that he knew

how terrible you
all actually were.

So I'm gonna do exactly
what he told me to do.

- What did he tell you to
do? What are you doing?

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Don't do it.

- I'm gonna leave you.

- Hm.

- Daniel?

- So here you go.

You wanted it, you take it.

Because nothing I could
do to you is as bad

as what you're about
to do to yourselves.

Enjoy.

- You did this.

- Shut the fuck up.

- Daniel?

- Baby.

- What the?

- Don't worry about him.
- Babe, are you okay?

- I'm okay.

- Is everything okay?
- Yes.

- You weren't answering your
phone, what is going on?

- Everything is okay.

Let's go home.

- Where's your family?

- Emily?

- We'd love to see you.

In the dining room.

- No, no, no, babe, I...

- Hey.

- H.

- Welcome back.

- Yeah, let's go.

- Oh, you
suck as much as Daniel.

- Have fun with your
loser boyfriend!

- You both suck!

- Oh, she's so gross.

- You were my father's
best friend too.

He told me that.

Even though you're
kind of an asshole.

- I'm not kind of an
asshole, I am an asshole.

Also I'm just having a
really, really shitty day.

- Lawrence!

Lawrence!

- So we're keeping
that money, right?

- It's ours now.

They can tear themselves
apart for the rest.

Hey.

- Hey.

- You're enough.

You've always been enough.

And I'm so sorry it
took all this crazy shit

for me to figure that out.

- I get it.

Always see the good in people.

- Yeah.

- Don't ever try
that shit again.

- Never.

- Good.

- Hey, so are you
gonna call the cops?

- Give 'em some time in there.

Let 'em finish out the weekend.

It's what Dad would've wanted.

- Man, this weekend
has been fucked.

- Hey.

Here.

- What is this for?

- Consider it your
severance pay,

'cause I'm pretty
sure you're fired.

- What?

Thanks.

- What's that?

- This is a letter from my dad.

- Oh.

- Daniel.

If you're reading this
letter, congratulations,

you survived the weekend
and are now a very rich man.

But you don't need
my money to be rich.

You could lose every cent

and still be the
richest man there.

There's more to who you
are and who loves you

than your name or your blood.

Blood is thicker than water,
but so is a pile of shit,

and I don't see you inviting
that to your wedding.

Think about it.

Enjoy the money.

Consider it a wedding gift.

I'm sorry I won't be there to
see you start your new life,

but I don't need to see it
to know it will be great.

Dad.

PS, don't worry about
getting more than them.

I'm leaving them
the beach house.

- Stop touching my money,
get me the fuck outta here!

- Here you go, Your Highness.

Shit.

- It's all your fault,
you fucking idiots!

- Whoa.

You okay?

- I've had better days.

Oh, no thanks.

You keep it.

You deserve it.

You're a good kid.

- Maybe I did need this weekend.

- You needed your family
to try to kill you?

- No, not that part.

But to get my
priorities straight.

- You weren't actually
gonna hurt them, were you?

- God, no, what kind of
person do you think I am?

- Bags of money, bags of money.

Bags of money.

- Oh, oh, oh, we rich,
we rich, we rich.

We that, we that rich bitch.