Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- You know, I've been thinking about it a lot,

going home.

But I need to buck up, soldier.

This is an opportunity...

to win a million dollars.

The porcupine's down this crack.

Got him.

Oh, I have fat! [laughs]

Aww, his liver is covered in white spots.

Eating this porcupine could either end

or extend my time out here.

- Yeah, we're getting it now, and it ain't letting up.

I'm talking freeze you to death,

kill you cold.

Oh, [bleep].

[bleep] get out of here. Get out of here.

It's the end of my quest.

It's not easy to say it.

♪ ♪

male narrator: For the first time,

ten participants will fight to survive the Arctic

for longer than anyone in "Alone" history,

a grueling 100 days.

- This is the ultimate challenge.

♪ ♪

- A hundred days in the Arctic is no joke.

narrator: If they can endure,

they'll win the biggest prize ever.

$1 million.

♪ ♪

- Whoa!

- Holy [bleep]!

- You can't tap out

when there's a million bucks on the line.

- Oh, my gosh. - [growls]

- How hard can you work for $10,000 a day?

- It looks like frostbite.

- [screams]

- Oh, [bleep].

narrator: This is "Alone: Million Dollar Challenge."

- They're just surrounding my shelter.

[wolf growling]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

♪

- We are getting so much snow,

so it has been snowing all morning,

maybe all night, and we got another

fresh couple inches, so, like, every day,

we're getting several more inches of snow.

Look at that. We're getting so much.

Okay, well, that changes my plans a little bit today.

[wind whooshing]

♪ ♪

Fire wood. ♪ Let's get some fire wood ♪

And I gotta still go check the trap line.

With the snow, we've gotten to the season

where everything takes longer.

♪ ♪

Going and getting water and going and getting wood

takes more effort.

It's harder to walk around

having 5 inches of snow to push around,

so it's extra calories.

♪ ♪

And the trap line's, like, totally buried in snow,

so I have to reset them every time it snows this much.

Even the ones under the logs are buried.

Wow.

Damn.

No bunnies in the trap line.

I gotta start catching those guys again,

especially now that the porcupine's questionable.

♪ ♪

I was so excited when I harvested that porcupine,

but I find his liver is covered in white spots.

That's a sign of disease.

That's a sign of an unhealthy animal.

I don't want to get sick,

but I'm getting really skinny,

and I don't have another fat source.

This porcupine has a bunch of fat.

I let it hang and dry,

but I'm not sure if I should eat the porcupine at all.

I definitely shouldn't eat the liver.

Look at that.

Doesn't that give you the heebie-jeebies?

It gives me the heebie-jeebies.

All those white spots.

All right, my face gets cold talking to the camera.

I don't know what to do with this thing.

I'm getting low on food.

I really want to eat this porcupine right now

because I'm hungry and this fat looks so good to me.

But I've made it this far.

It would be a bummer to have to go home

from eating this porcupine.

I'm just gonna wait

and kind of think about what to do.

♪ ♪

♪

[fire crackling]

- Tour time.

So here's my new fireplace.

I took all of the gravel out.

Smoke is better.

My sinuses got beat up last night.

This really hurts. [sniffs]

It feels like someone punched me in the nose.

Gonna have to do a nasal cleanse when I get home.

Just being out of the smoke will do.

♪ ♪

Today, we're going fishing. We're heading out on the ice.

♪ ♪

There's fox prints right there.

♪ ♪

♪

Fox.

♪ ♪

I take that fox as a good omen.

That means good fishing.

♪ ♪

I asked myself why I am doing this

almost every day,

and I really want a woman to win.

It's not because I, like, dislike a man winning.

I want the most worthy person to win.

♪ ♪

And that's why I wanted to be chosen for the show,

was not because I was a woman,

but because I was worthy of the opportunity

to test myself.

♪ ♪

And I would love to be an ambassador for women

to be strong survivors.

Calling all lake trout.

Dinner is served.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

[screams]

[laughing]

I caught--I got another one!

Oh, Lord!

Thank you, Lord. Yes!

Oh, my God.

[exhales]

Thank you. [grunts]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

Yes.

Yes!

[exhales]

Oh, it's beautiful!

[exhales]

It's smaller,

but this gets me a few more days.

Oh, my gosh.

♪ ♪

Have you ever seen

a more beautiful sight than this?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight...

You can just call me rollercoaster Ky.

She's high, and then she's low.

♪ ♪

♪

[fire crackling]

- Hot and Rare on the inside.

Hot and Rare.

They're back.

This could be their last performance at Rock House.

Here they come,

the sensation of Great Slave Lake.

Hot and Rare,

live at Rock House!

[vocalizing]

♪ I live in Rock House and eat ♪

♪ Wild musk ox meat and squirrel mushroom stew ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ And when I catch a fish, I turn its guts ♪

♪ Into soup ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ If we get a rabbit, we'll eat its head ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ And if you come here with the wrong ten items ♪

♪ You are dead ♪

[vocalizing] ♪ Rock House ♪

[screaming]

We love you!

Well, that was fun.

Boy, there's a lot to do, man.

Really trying to hit them rose hips before they disappear.

That's the plan.

♪ ♪

I know Thanksgiving's coming up.

The real battle is gonna be between

Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Dark and cold.

And the ice starts getting thick.

That's where you're gonna see some people jerked out,

so need to be going into that last month strong,

but it's a struggle right now.

♪ ♪

[wind howling]

♪

♪

[shouts]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

♪

- [shouts]

♪ ♪

Ah.

Just before Thanksgiving, too.

Oh, boy.

Came up here to...

grab our last bootful of rose hips,

and this big porcupine was in here

eating the hell out of them.

Look at the quills on the stick

from smashing him.

I've had dogs with quills in them before.

They--I've had a quill or two.

They hurt.

Once they start in, they don't back out.

They're barbed.

I'll use this stick to carry him home on.

We don't want to get no quills in our clothes.

Gonna drag her in.

♪ ♪

First time I ate porcupine was with my father.

He was running a little trap line back in Pennsy,

and we had a porcupine up a tree

and clubbed it down out.

He showed me how to skin it.

I was just little. It was so exciting.

We cooked it that next day.

♪ ♪

Every time I kill a porcupine or eat porcupine,

I think of him.

I love you, Dad.

♪

♪

[fire crackling]

- Just had my fish.

It was delish.

It was just crisp on the bottom,

which is actually kind of nice

'cause everything I have been eating has been soupy.

Soup. [sniffles]

So it was sort of like,

"Oh, this is like when you have a fish fry."

You scrape the bottom of the pan. [chuckles]

It was good.

♪

So this whole week,

I have been making snow shoes.

Snow shoe frames here.

I think I want to start weaving the body.

As it snows more and more,

I'll need something that works really well

in fresh, deep snow.

Just putting this line on to hold the frames.

Dave and I,

we make our own snow shoes for our expeditions.

We take people out and travel by snow shoe

in a harsh environment.

I'm working this.

It's where I did my first center weave.

But I feel kind of empty without him

to weave a pair of snow shoes with me.

I think being in a relationship

as strong as the one that I have with Dave,

it can be easy to

consider yourself a partner and not an individual.

Done.

Not too shabby.

One of my skills you finally get to see.

I believe that this experience is teaching me

that if I can be a strong, independent person,

then that will make me a stronger partner.

♪ ♪

♪

- Throwing it out there to Jordan

and his arctic fashion show.

[vocalizing]

Complete with a rabbit...

complete...

[laughs]

With a rabbit foot button.

Rabbit foot button vest.

[vocalizing]

All right, there we go.

You guys probably won't even use that anyway.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

I went up to the trap line and checked the traps.

No rabbits today.

[sighs]

I don't have the trap line working for me anymore,

and I'm starting to get hungry.

I'm not a body that holds weight,

and if I'm working and moving,

I just lose weight.

My body really needs fat to stay at a healthy weight.

I'm thinking about eating the porcupine today.

♪ ♪

I wish that the porcupine didn't have a spotted liver,

but the facts are it does.

And the reality is, is I already exposed myself

to whatever disease the porcupine has

when I was processing it.

I'm not ready to go, so...

♪ ♪

I'm gonna risk it. I'm gonna risk it.

♪ ♪

I'm gonna eat some porcupine.

I'm not gonna eat the liver

and I'm not gonna eat the kidneys

because those are filter organs.

But I'm gonna eat everything else.

I'm just gonna cook him really, really well,

and hope that I don't get sick.

This fat--oh, my God.

This is, like, what I need so bad.

♪ ♪

Eating this porcupine, I could get sick

and it could totally end my time out here.

Just cooking this very, very thoroughly.

♪ ♪

Very thoroughly.

♪ ♪

Well, here we go.

[sighs]

I pray that eating this porcupine

only brings me health and wellness.

Mmm.

Oh, fat! [slurps]

Porcupine fat! Oh, my gosh.

Should I just eat a big chunk?

Here is a chunk of porcupine fat.

♪ ♪

Mmm. Mmm.

♪ ♪

It's so good. My body is so thankful.

I can just feel, like,

I've just been needing this fat,

and now I have fat!

I want to stay out here. I want to see it through.

Mmm.

Oh, my gosh.

I want to stay out here until I reach my edge.

[slurps]

♪ ♪

How can something that tastes so good make you sick?

I just hope that it only brings me wellness.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [growls]

[grunts]

[barking]

[grunts]

[growls]

[growling]

[coughs]

I can see how a dog gets growly.

When he's on a bone.

♪ ♪

Thanksgiving Day, we're just gonna eat and be thankful.

♪ ♪

I like to set milestones for myself out in the woods.

When I have no human contact,

I become real involved in my own head,

but I still like to observe the holidays

and the traditions.

Right there is the guest of honor.

The porcupine, he's the Thanksgiving turkey.

♪ ♪

Burn them quill right off.

No quill. We want him to be naked.

When you leave the skin on something,

that leaves the fat intact.

That's why the old-timers always scalded their hogs

instead of skun them.

Lot of fat. Lot of goodness in porcupine.

♪ ♪

I can actually survive on that kind of meat.

Thrive on it.

Compared to that right there,

that musk ox is lean.

♪ ♪

They're really thick.

You gotta work them over to get them burnt.

♪ ♪

So here I am on the 100-day challenge

and the biggest event of my life.

And somehow, I'm focused on old memories.

We used to go to summer camp when I was a boy.

They'd sing campfire songs.

Eight, nine, ten-year-old. That's a nice age.

You're still kind of innocent then.

You ain't doing all that bad grownup stuff.

But when I hit 13,

I became pretty hard to control.

Getting in trouble.

I was probably a pain in the ass.

I did manage to graduate high school.

I did that for Mom and Dad, but from there,

I've been running hard ever since.

I wasn't around for Mom or Dad much at all,

but on the other hand,

I've done some amazing things with that time.

And I know they're pretty proud

of some of the stuff I've done.

♪ ♪

Don't that look good?

Oh, man.

It'll have to be boiled now.

You take a chunk off and you boil it.

♪ ♪

The Thanksgiving drumstick.

♪ ♪

It's getting about right.

Oh, man.

That is one fat, greasy bastard.

Look at that.

Oh.

That's out of this world.

♪ ♪

That porcupine made the perfect turkey.

I mean, it was just perfect.

♪ ♪

That was fine. That was mighty fine.

♪ ♪

♪

- Look.

Those are porcupine quills

that I put on my Mukluks.

And I put seven.

It represents all the directions.

The four directions, north, east, south, west,

and then above, within, and below.

Seven is a special number to me.

This is my first attempt

at some porcupine quill work,

so there you go.

It's on my Mukluks,

so I can walk with the porcupines.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

So far, the porcupine fat is sitting great with me.

I feel good. My guts feel good.

My stomach feels good,

and I've had more energy.

And I think that's just what I needed,

is some fat.

It's helped to stabilize my weight,

so I can stay out here longer.

♪ ♪

Oh, no, I'm gonna put this tree...

over there, actually.

[groans]

♪ ♪

My shoulder is really hurting.

♪ ♪

What?

♪ ♪

Oh, man, this jabbing is so much.

♪ ♪

Ouch.

And it [bleep] hurts.

Man, what did I do?

♪

Eee.

It feels weird.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Okay, so see, there's...

a porcupine quill is...

embedded.

Gonna have to be careful.

♪ ♪

Tweezers.

♪ ♪

So you need to break the skin.

♪ ♪

Need to just cut it out.

♪ ♪

Man.

I really just need another person to do this.

♪ ♪

'Cause I can't see...

♪ ♪

What I'm doing.

I'm probably gonna just, like,

break it off and not get the whole thing.

♪ ♪

Oh.

Oh, just got it out.

Nice. [laughs]

So that little dude was embedded in my shoulder.

I don't know how it got through all the layers...

layers of my skin, but look.

It looked like it went in there...

and then it pushed its way up.

Whew.

Oh, that feels good to get out of there.

Okay, back to work here.

I really feel like my spirit and my mind

can last the 100 days.

♪ ♪

I didn't choose to do this because of the prize money,

but now,

think about it a little bit more than I have,

I just think, like,

all the people that have helped me in my life,

I could, like, repay them and help them.

I just think about my parents

and everything that they've gone through,

and all the sacrifices that my parents have made for me.

I could retire them and they won't have to worry.

♪ ♪

And so I want to try my hardest for them.

Oh, my gosh. Look at the sunset.

♪ ♪

♪

♪

Water is becoming an issue.

You could trudge down there in the freezing cold,

and get a potful.

Or you melt snow, which takes forever

and a [bleep]load of trips in and out of the door.

The whole pot of snow only cooks down to about a cupful.

You gotta keep putting more in.

♪ ♪

We gotta get the hell out of here!

[wind howling]

[coughs] It's got freezing spray

just [bleep] blowed all over me.

♪ ♪

That was pretty rough going for a pail of water.

♪ ♪

This is the hard stretch I knew was coming.

Everything's a battle.

Nothing comes easy.

♪ ♪

It's time to eat.

I got the last of my brisket bone here we're gonna have.

I'm gonna chop it up and put it in the pot,

and it'll boil most of today.

Oh, that's why mouse ain't been eating these bones.

He found my brisket.

I got one mouse living here.

It's a pain in the ass.

I had been throwing my old bones

back in a little cave in the house.

He mostly goes back there and gets them.

Yeah, mouse beat me to this a little bit.

My little [bleep] chewed all the tallow

off the outside of this brisket bone.

You can always tell where the nutrients are.

Animals will show you.

They go for the best cuts, the best pieces of everything.

Every time.

Yeah, mouse has been working on that.

I think we better

check into my fat cache.

Make sure mouse ain't made too much inroads...

on all that.

I had some porcupine fat up there

and all kinds of stuff.

I'm worried about shrews and mice.

I've spent winters in the wilderness

where shrews and mice were at their peak.

And you can't stop them. They won't scare away.

They're too elemental.

It's like getting rid of bugs, you know?

They don't go away.

The rodents can be more trouble than the predators

in the wilderness.

Here's the genital area where the lower intestine

all came down into the porcupine,

and it was just a big gob of fat.

I thought it was safe up there.

That damn--I mean, this was like the size

of a tennis ball, maybe.

It was a nice ball of fat.

That little [bleep] got me there.

He's been feeding on that. He's been living on that.

You're pissing me off, mouse.

♪ ♪

We better do something with all this

before mouse gets any more.

♪ ♪

I think I'll stick everything

in my musk ox pouch for now.

I can hang this up in the cabin,

and when I'm in there, I almost always

got some smoke up on the ceiling

when I'm in there with fire.

Now, that slows mouse down.

♪ ♪

And here's what's left of that porcupine fat.

We can skin that, though, and get a little wee bit.

In the pouch you go.

I don't think I'm gonna kill him.

You get rid of that little bachelor mouse,

and you could have a whole community of mice

move in on you.

We are living on fat here.

You bet I'm gonna guard this stuff.

♪ ♪

♪

- So we're having a fire.

I'm gonna eat my fish.

I got the head and the butt left.

Last night, I started having good dreams

about being home again.

Some home-cooked meals, and...

[fire crackling]

Just some TLC. [laughs]

So we'll try and catch another fish today.

♪ ♪

Am I thriving?

Not as well as I'd like to be,

because the last fish, I definitely indulged

and had probably more than I needed to.

And I'm at the point where

I just feel lighter.

I can see it on my body physically.

My clothes are fitting a bit looser.

Could turn into a bad situation pretty quickly.

All right.

♪ ♪

I'm bundled up.

I'm wearing all of my down layers.

But the lake is so cold.

Two hours max before it's time to go and warm up.

Getting pretty cold. [chuckles]

♪ ♪

Beware of the calm before the storm.

♪ ♪

Fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish, fish.

Where are you?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [screams]

[grunts]

♪ ♪

[bleep]

♪ ♪

[yells]

[crying]

It was huge.

♪ ♪

[sobs]

It was so big.

It was right here.

♪ ♪

[cries]

♪

I'm so cold!

♪ ♪

I just need to go inside.

♪

[fire crackling]

[sighs]

That was probably my biggest fish yet.

[sniffs] And I didn't get it.

And total meltdown.

And it's--

I'm just way too cold to spend more time out there.

♪ ♪

I'm not able to keep myself warm

like I want to be able to, so that means I need more food.

♪ ♪

When I was getting so cold,

all I wanted was to throw in the towel.

♪ ♪

It's true.

But I do believe I'm starving.

I believe I am starving on a slow...

♪ ♪

But consistent...rate.

When I lose one fish, that's a week's worth of food,

not just one or two days.

A sign.

A sign from the gods

that it's time to keep pushing or it's time to go home.

♪ ♪

[ice crackling]

- You hear it?

It's going crazy.

That's that ice setting up.

[distant booming]

Wow.

And I'd been hearing the ice barking

a little wee bit,

but then it really started picking up.

I thought, "I gotta go down there and listen to that."

It's just pinging here everywhere.

You can hear it.

It's setting up. It's getting thicker.

It's talking to you.

It's telling you to get ready for cold.

[ice howling]

[laughs]

That's a close one.

♪ ♪

You can hear it just cracking.

That means it's growing and expanding.

We're running out of fat, so I'm really hoping

to get a fresh fish or two here through the ice.

I've been looking forward to this,

waiting for ice so I don't have the waves.

♪ ♪

It's music.

It's the music of the wilderness.

♪ ♪

♪

- Good morning.

Oh, my gosh.

Last night,

I was thinking about how nice it would be

to pop some popcorn on the fire and drizzle butter over it.

Or maybe drizzle some porcupine fat,

and have some spices, salt and spices.

Popcorn with porcupine fat.

Oh, that'd be good.

That'd be really good.

♪ ♪

Oh, my goodness.

It is cold, cold.

It's a reindeer parka today.

I'm gonna go down to the lake and get some water.

♪ ♪

The lake is icing up.

So today, to get water,

I have to bust through the ice with an ax.

♪ ♪

I didn't think I was gonna get to watch the lake ice up,

and I am.

And I love it. It's so beautiful.

I could sit here and listen to this for hours.

[ice sloshing]

It just sounds like the lake is breathing.

The ice chunks are, like, rising and falling,

like, her chest.

It is so cool.

♪

I, like, want the lake to ice up because

I could get my gill net in the water

and I could fish.

Once I eat all the porcupine fat,

I'm gonna need a fat source.

These fish are big. They're fatty.

I'd really like to be successful with fishing.

We'll see, though.

It's still not thick enough yet.

Oh.

♪ ♪

Still feeling really grateful to be here.

And if I start to feel like things are getting hard,

I just think of my mom.

My mom is so strong.

She's, like, an amazing example

of a strong, kind woman.

She's unstoppable.

I feel a lot of strength

when I think about my mama.

♪ ♪

I feel like she watches over me.

♪ ♪

[exhales]

Dang toe, man.

Both my feet feel totally warm,

but then that tip of the toe just, like, hurts a little bit.

[groans]

I gotta get a fire going to warm up my toe.

Oh, dear.

♪ ♪

Man.

That's not good.

♪

I have a really big blister on the tip of my toe,

and it's turned worse.

It turned, like, this purple color.

Oh, no, it's going numb.

[groans] Come on, toe.

I'm worried that it might be frostbite.

It turned, like, this purple color,

and it's hard now.

It was a soft blister, and now it's hard.

[sighs]

It's really sensitive,

and I'm worried that it might be frostbite.

♪ ♪

So I don't know what to do.

I don't want to risk losing part of a toe, you know?

♪ ♪

[sighs]

Like, this isn't a game. This is the real deal.

This is my body, and this is my life.

And the decisions I make now could--

they're gonna affect the rest of my life.

Health is the most important thing.

Like, I could be uncomfortable.

I could be in pain.

I just don't want to do any permanent damage.

And if I have frostbite,

then that toe will always be more sensitive.

And if it gets worse, I mean, I could lose my toe.

And I'm at a point where I'm risking that.

The flip side of it is,

I could be the last one standing out here.

Staying to the end could totally change my life,

and it could really-- like, I have the opportunity

to really help out my family, you know?

And so it's like you want to push...

you want to-- I want to push my edge,

but I don't want to fall over the edge, you know?

♪ ♪

Hmm.

♪ ♪

♪

- I'm trying to figure out what I want...

From this experience. [chuckles]

Which...

The answer sounds obvious.

It's to win.

Right?

♪ ♪

Making it to 100 days.

♪ ♪

But there's this fear that I won't...

You know, I've dealt with cold before.

I know this cold. I know what it's like.

But it's the others.

It's my family.

I want to gift them a little ease in their life.

♪ ♪

You know, my dad, before I left said,

"Remember, you're never really alone."

♪ ♪

But I feel alone.

I'm sorry, Dad.

♪ ♪

And I want to win for women.

♪ ♪

But sometimes, my mind is destructive...

to myself.

♪ ♪

We are our own worst enemies.

♪ ♪

♪

Emotionally is where I'm struggling,

because when it's cold,

and you need to find food,

you kind of get a moment of panic.

And when you panic, you think of, like,

"What would make me comfortable right now?"

Home, warmth, food.

[sniffs]

[sighs]

[sobs] I'm so happy...

to see this place from up here again.

[sniffs]

♪ ♪

I'm ready to go home, though.

♪ ♪

I don't think it's worth it to me emotionally

to keep going.

♪ ♪

[transponder beeping]

I've pushed my limits as far as I want to push them,

and, um,

I am officially tapping out.

♪ ♪

Yes, I wish that I could win,

but that's not the way the story's being written.

I'm proud, and I won't have any regrets.

You have to always move forward.

You can't live life with regrets.

♪ ♪

Hi.

I'm ready to--I'm ready.

I'm ready to go home.

I'm out of fish,

and I'm not able to be out on the ice

for long enough to catch a fish...

[voice breaking] Before my feet freeze.

[sobs] I've lost the fight.

You can't see a mental weakness,

and I think that's a...

a strength to recognize it in yourself

that it's time.

♪ ♪

This experience was a really good opportunity for me

to remember that I can be strong

as an individual person.

Before I came out here,

I felt scared

and I felt unworthy of the opportunity.

But throughout the whole experience,

as every day went by,

I realized more and more that...

I'm doing it.

I'm stepping up to the plate and overcoming

these obstacles as they come,

and I can do it without falling back on someone.

I'm excited to go home

and just plan the next adventure.

And I feel as though, like, I can do anything now.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪

- Broke out some heavier gear. Got parka today.

Black bear mitts.

I got my gloves, too, for working,

but when your hands get super cold,

you can always stick them in these.

Got my parka trimmed out in the same fur my hat is.

Arctic wolf.

And musk ox pouch

with a little bit of fishing gear.

[clears throat]

We'll go see what happens here.

We'll go give her a shot.

♪ ♪

Being out on the ice is like being on the moon.

It's a whole nother environment.

It's hostile.

It sure don't hurt to have a pole along with you

in case you would hit a bad spot

and go through.

Really slippery right through there.

It's flat, and any little breeze is like a knife.

♪ ♪

It's cutting right through everything I got on.

♪ ♪

We're just gonna jab through.

I know it's deep here, anyway.

This is danger rock area...

where we caught all them fish.

I seen them out here jumping, too, in deep water.

Whether they're here now or not is anybody's guess.

I'm gonna find out.

♪ ♪

Everybody's gonna watch this and say,

"Oh, he had all that musk ox,"

but that musk ox is an old,

dry, tough bull.

There are certain animals that are fat.

Beaver, raccoons, possums, bears.

You can live off fat animals. I call it fat meat.

That porcupine was fat meat, and I miss it already.

But musk ox ain't.

Musk ox is more like a buffalo, lean.

So I'm really hoping to get a fresh fish or two

here through the ice,

and that'll supplement my diet.

♪ ♪

I've done a lot of ice fishing.

Mostly, you're just standing there,

pulling away and not catching fish.

Every now and then, you'll make a hole,

bam, you'll catch one first whack.

Then you might not catch a fish there again.

Nothing.

I could go get some [bleep] woodcock

instead of wasting time

jerking a line.

♪ ♪

Temperature's gonna start dropping.

You can bet your ass on that.

♪ ♪

♪

- Guess what actually happened.

The lake has iced up!

The lake has iced up finally!

Now I can go ice fishing. Check it out.

Look at this.

The lake is iced up! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

So awesome. Get some hooks in the water.

So freaking excited.

♪ ♪

I am about to go ice fishing

for the first time ever in my life,

so wish me luck.

For weeks, I've been thinking about what it's gonna be like

to get out on the ice, and now I can finally

walk out on the ice.

It's like walking out onto a whole new world.

♪ ♪

I'm really hopeful to catch a fish,

but I also know there's gonna be a learning curve

for sure.

Luck is gonna have to be on my side.

[grunts]

This is gonna take a while.

Whew.

Oh, man, it's thick.

I hear, like, a popping underneath me.

Is that okay?

I think it's normal.

I made the safety ladder.

If I fall down in the ice, I have something

to help pull myself up out of it.

♪

Praying for safety out here.

Water! Whoo-hoo!

♪ ♪

I made a lucky hook and it has porcupine hair,

rabbit fur, a part of a porcupine kidney,

and a clay sinker from clay from this land.

Kay.

If I just caught one single fish,

then all I have to do is keep my fire going

and keep my toe warm.

If I get one fish,

that can sustain me for the rest of my time here.

Come on, little fishes.

Come on, little fishy.

[wind howling]

Come on, fish, doesn't that porcupine kidney

smell delicious?

It's gotta smell good.

♪ ♪

That's a cold wind.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

[grunts]

My frostbitten toe is cold again.

[sighs]

It has been a huge challenge

keeping this toe from refreezing.

Dang it, my toe is going numb.

[bleep]

I have to stop and rewarm my toe.

And by the time I get it all rewarmed,

it's gonna be dark.

[groans]

Toe, come on, toe.

♪

[groans] Man.

Just--I feel like I'm working with limited time.

♪ ♪

It's gonna get harder to do things

without food in my belly.

[sighs heavily]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Well, we had to gear up a little bit better for today.

It's sure enough winter now.

Me and big chips here.

I'm gonna go down and have a look at that ice,

see what all we're getting into there.

♪ ♪

It's a new world today.

♪ ♪

Now we gotta start battling through the ice

to get our water.

♪ ♪

We have now entered the hyper-cold.

Every night now, it's south of 30 below.

That type of cold is trying to kill you.

Getting the most basic essentials--

that's gonna be my daily struggle.

Another layer.

Ratcheting up the difficulty.

This ain't no playground.

One wrong move in cold like this

could be disaster.

♪ ♪

- Gonna rewarm my feet again.

♪ ♪

It's so cold,

and with the frostbite on my toe,

I have to stop and rewarm my feet all the time.

♪ ♪

All right, I still have to go down to the lake and get water,

otherwise, I don't have any water to drink.

♪ ♪

I have to be really careful with this toe.

I can't let it refreeze,

otherwise I risk losing a toe.

Come on, toe, I just need another couple of minutes.

I gotta just keep going. I gotta keep trying.

It's so cold,

and the days are short.

So I only have a short window

to get my basic chores done.

♪ ♪

Come on, don't go numb.

Shoot.

♪ ♪

Shoot.

Oh, come on.

All right, we gotta get back to camp.

♪ ♪

- It is cold outside this morning, folks.

You can see it right over my left shoulder here.

Just the steam streaming into Rock House.

The air is so cold between them door flaps,

when it comes up over the top here,

hits the warm air, it just makes

this steady stream of steam.

And over here,

big frost building up here in the corner.

That's just from last night, all them frost crystals.

And it'll keep getting colder, too.

Firewood becomes just damn near everything now.

♪ ♪

- I'm just trying get things done before my toe freezes.

Look how [bleep] cold it is.

Wow. That's cold.

I am frosted up.

I'm burning a lot of firewood

'cause I have to, like, burn a fire

in the middle of the day.

I want to keep going. I have motivation.

I have strength, but it's so hard

because I get going and then I have to stop

and rewarm my toe.

♪ ♪

- My deal right now is [bleep] fighting

this [bleep] damn cold.

But since this hyper-cold hit,

I can't get ahead on this firewood.

Well, the sun comes up right here,

scoots along the edge of the lake, and...

[blows raspberry] Goes back down in, like, four hours.

It takes that long

to cut enough wood to go the next 18 hours

in Rock House all night long.

I am battling it out every damn day.

♪ ♪

It's gonna be [bleep] deadly, deadly cold tonight.

I'm gonna go get in Rock House and prepare for the worst.

♪ ♪

- Everything's just cold and frozen.

It takes so much time.

It's, like, two hours to dry everything.

It's a struggle to keep warm.

♪ ♪

- Long-ass nights

for a man to just sit here with his thoughts.

18, 19-hour night.

♪ ♪

It's hard. It's very hard.

Right now, trying to stay warm.

Trying to keep your mind

from thinking about getting out.

♪ ♪

And...

I don't know why I keep doing it.

I don't.

It's tough right now.

These last days are gonna be absolutely brutal.

♪ ♪

I need a pot of berries this morning,

so I'm doing that first thing.

This is it for the berries, though.

This is it, the berry log.

Once these are done, the berries are done.

But it's, you know, pretty good size.

We're in the final stretches here.

This is what I prepared for

all of September, October, and November.

But right now, my body's just craving

white bread, peanut butter, donuts,

all that great comfort food that we just take for granted.

♪ ♪

Take out a little bit of moss and kind of see how they look.

I haven't looked in there for a long time.

Well, they're sticking to the moss a little bit.

And they shrunk up

and got a little moldy.

♪ ♪

They got more than a little moldy.

♪ ♪

Damn it.

I might've [bleep] up.

That ain't so good.

I think we lost the berries to mold.

Kind of concerned right now.

See them all clumped together and mildewy?

♪ ♪

I had fire in here all the time,

and all the heat stays up in your ceiling.

So them berries never froze.

♪ ♪

Boy, I was relying heavily on these.

We're running out of options here pretty fast.

♪ ♪

I might eat that stomach contents.

♪ ♪

Right here is my stomach paunch...

that I brought off the mouth on that--with that musk ox.

It's just a piece of his stomach

with its contents...

inside.

That's what's gonna go in the pot.

♪ ♪

I learned about stomach contents

through my reading and research

throughout my whole life.

And that's what the musk ox eats right there.

The teeth on them animals

are made for grinding up grass.

We can eat grass, too. Grass is edible.

But we can't chew it up enough

to get it into a fine-enough form

to where we're getting the most out of it.

That musk ox chewed that stuff,

burped it up later, chewed it again,

and swallowed it.

Plus, their stomachs have different bacteria

that's made for breaking down grasses.

I know it's edible 'cause it has a sour smell.

[bleep] nasty.

Well, that ain't a bad thing.

That sour smell told me that this was a nutritious meal.

♪ ♪

Hot and ready.

Whatever the musk ox was eating,

that's what we're eating.

Rock House spinach.

Musk ox stomach contents.

♪

I am never taking food for granted.

Never, ever again.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, hello, in there.

How's everybody doing?

I hope you're doing fantastic.

I hope you all are having a fantastic day.

It's another day in an arctic paradise.

You know, some of you guys might be wondering,

"What is up with Callie, man?

"Shouldn't she just be cold and miserable?

"Why is she happy and laughing all the time?

What's up?"

Well, I gotta be honest.

I have a secret.

It's Cajun sparkle.

Yeah, that's right. Cajun sparkle.

So my sister Ravana is amazing,

and she's hilarious.

And those words, Cajun sparkle,

are magic words, and if anyone says them,

then she starts laughing hysterically

for, like, 20 minutes.

And so if I think of Cajun sparkle,

then I can just hear her laugh,

and it makes me so happy.

[laughs]

So, you know, if I ever get down,

I just sprinkle a little Cajun sparkle on it,

and it's all good.

[laughing]

So, Ravana, Cajun sparkle!

[giggles]

Oh, jeez.

♪ ♪

We're gonna go check the trap line.

Let's rock and roll.

I really hope I can still keep catching rabbits

because this porcupine won't last forever.

♪ ♪

Man, nothing in this section.

Dang. Let's go check the next one.

♪ ♪

The trap line's been less productive

because of all the snow.

♪ ♪

I still really need you, rabbits.

I really need you.

♪ ♪

What?

Oh, my God, a rabbit.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

This rabbit means another day,

another day of good eating.

♪ ♪

Of course,

I am so looking forward to seeing my loved ones.

Like, I miss my sweetheart and my family and my friends.

But there's something here.

It's this magical feeling of feeling connected.

Having a relationship with my food

and a relationship with my heat source

and a relationship with the water

that I'm drinking.

The longer I'm out here,

the quieter my mind gets--

just making me even more not ready to leave.

I'm so here.

So I'm just remembering what the modern world is like,

and not ready to go back.

Oh, yeah. Favorite meal.

Snowshoe hare organs fried in porcupine fat.

Whoo-hoo!

♪ ♪

I still feel strong.

My body still feels strong.

With my toe, if I'm just careful,

then I can stay out here.

All right.

Mmm.

It's too good.

It is too good.

Living the dream out here.

It's another day in an arctic paradise.

That's right.

I'm not ready to go home.

I can go to day 100.

♪ ♪

♪

[fire crackling]

- It's just another long cold-ass night in Rock House.

You sleep a couple hours,

and then you get up and you...

put wood on the fire.

It's an endless cycle.

Soon as that fire goes out,

you feel the temperature just plummet in here.

But...

no, this is that time...

[wind howling]

Where you just...

You enter a-- a zone where you're...

♪ ♪

Where you're kind of only half...

[bleep] there.

You're dormant.

Just spend a lot of time in the sleeping bag now,

just conserving energy,

trying to stay warm,

trying to keep your mind from thinking about

all the food it ain't got.

This is it. This is the battle right now.

♪ ♪

One little slip-up could be disaster

in these temperatures.

Absolutely.

♪

Need to go get our water for the day.

♪ ♪

It's starting to snow.

[sighs] I gotta get going.

♪ ♪

I hope it backs off a little bit.

[wind howling]

♪ ♪

It's coming down hard.

♪ ♪

Can't see [bleep] right now.

♪ ♪

Getting [bleep] dangerous out here.

It's turning into full-blown whiteout.

You can't even see now.

One minute ago, we could see the timber,

and now nothing.

♪ ♪

I gotta get back while I can still see where I'm going.

We're entering full-blown whiteout conditions right now.

♪ ♪

You can get turned around and lost bad in whiteout.

There's been men perish

within 50 yards of their cabins in whiteouts.

♪ ♪

Right now, I gotta get off this ice.

It's just blinding out here.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- It's turning into full-blown whiteout.

You can't even see now.

♪ ♪

We gotta make for Rock House.

Can't see [bleep] right now.

♪ ♪

This is my life's culmination happening right now

in this storm.

My dad was a heavy reader

and fantasized about this lifestyle.

And he'd read the books

and then he'd pass the books onto me

and I caught this fever.

But me and Mom wasn't the tightest.

She took care of me when I was little,

but as I got older, we drifted apart.

My mother just passed away

while I was prepping myself

for this participation in "Alone."

I was too absorbed in my own stuff

to even go home to her funeral.

I got off my trail.

I can see it a little bit, but it's not good.

And sadly,

you just finally figure out...

what a great mother you had.

♪ ♪

I'm following my tracks

before I lose them.

To get off the ice.

[steps crunching]

But she's gone,

and I want to win it for my mother.

I want to dedicate it to my mother.

Whether I do that or not, I don't know.

♪ ♪

We're back up in the timber now.

We're pretty good.

The serious whiteout conditions are out on the lake ice

where you got no landmarks.

Here, we got some trees and some old trail

and some rocks that I'm familiar with.

We still want to get our ass back to camp

and get started on tonight's firewood

and get out of this whiteout.

♪

♪

- Well, today is gill net day.

I am very excited.

Untangle my cord.

Can I do this?

Mitts off.

♪ ♪

I need the dexterity,

and so I need to not have over-mitts on.

♪ ♪

It's so cold out here.

It's crazy.

Oh, man, challenges.

I just need to get this gill net in the water,

but my fingers are cold.

My toes are cold.

Camera screen's frozen. [laughs]

So we got some challenges here.

Frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

I want to try fishing again.

I'm getting skinnier, and I know that I need fat.

Oh, I need a fish.

Oh, I need a fish.

♪ ♪

If I catch one fish,

then I can stay another 12 days.

♪ ♪

My spirit feels strong.

All I need is fish and firewood

and warm toes.

♪ ♪

Come on, fishes.

♪ ♪

I'm so hungry.

♪ ♪

All I need is a fish.

It's a million-dollar fish.

♪ ♪

Oh, man.

I don't wanna stay out here.

♪ ♪

Oh, come on, toe.

Don't get cold.

My toe's not gonna be able to last much longer.

♪ ♪

Man, dang it, toe.

I just need time.

I need to keep fishing.

I need to be out here trying to get food.

♪ ♪

Dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it.

♪ ♪

I need to stop and rewarm it.

♪

Just bone broth in the pot tonight,

and I am hungry.

I'm really hoping to catch a fish.

♪ ♪

This is just so hard because

I'm so close to making it 100 days.

And I feel like I can.

Gotta just keep on trying.

That's what we're doing.

Just bone broth for dinner.

♪ ♪

When I start to feel frustrated

and feel like maybe I can't do this,

I think of my parents.

I think of my grandparents,

and how hard they had it

and what they had to do to keep going.

And they didn't have a red button to push

and just get help.

No matter what hardships that they face,

they just had to keep going.

Keep trying.

Keep adapting.

And that strength lives on inside of me.

♪ ♪

So I have to keep going.

♪ ♪

I pray, I pray, I pray

to sleep with warm feet tonight.

♪ ♪

Oh, my foot.

Man, my toes got so cold last night.

I just spent most the night rubbing my feet together

and rubbing my hands on my toes,

but it seemed to make no difference.

I'm just worried about it because the frostbite

is starting to spread under the nail bed,

and that's not very good.

♪ ♪

[device beeping] Ah.

What's that about?

Oh, no, I hope it's not med check

because then it'd be early,

and that would mean they're worried about something.

"Please be at shelter for a site visit."

No!

Oh, man.

♪ ♪

Dang it.

♪ ♪

- Okay.

♪ ♪

Careful with the socks. They're fragile.

All my socks have burn holes in them.

♪ ♪

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Okay. All right.

♪ ♪

- Okay.

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

♪

- So we brought the doctor out. - Yep.

- And the doctor confirmed that there was spreading frostbite

in your right big toe.

The doctor also noticed that there was

a little bit of new frostbite in your left big toe.

You're malnourished,

and that makes recovery even more difficult.

What we're trying to avoid is, as you know,

serious, devastating,

and potentially irreversible damage...

- Yeah.

- To your frostbitten feet, and so as a result,

I'm gonna have to extract you from the field

for medical reasons.

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

[sniffles]

Today? Right--today?

- Yep.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

It's such a challenging situation because my...

my spirit feels really strong out here.

And I feel like I have so much motivation

and so much strength to keep going.

And I feel like I have another 11 days.

[sighs]

I love this place so much.

♪ ♪

[sobs]

But I don't want to lose a toe.

[laughs]

I love my feet very, very much.

I want to--

I want to do what's best for my feet

'cause I only get these feet.

I don't get--I'm not gonna--

I can't grow another pair of toes.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

[sobs]

[uplifting music]

This experience has been so inspiring

and empowering to me.

I don't see the wilderness

as a scary foreign place to struggle against.

This place is where we all come from.

Humans have lived like this

longer than they've lived how we're living now.

And I just got the opportunity to spend

three months...

practicing the skills of my ancestors,

and I got a taste what it felt like

to live in the old way,

to live on the land.

♪ ♪

My DNA remembers living like this,

and it just feels right.

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

♪

- Here, I got my musk ox,

who...

I want to eat that tonight.

My plan is I'm just gonna throw it in the fire.

Wholesale.

I want to burn it blacker than coal,

same way I did the porcupine.

I'm gonna tie a wire to it

so that I can get it back out and turn it and all that.

♪ ♪

That's enough wire right there.

♪ ♪

There we go.

Musk ox hoof barbecue.

We're getting down to the nitty gritty.

There ain't much musk ox left.

We gotta use each and every piece.

I think this is the hardest thing I've ever done,

but I will tell you without shame

that I pray I come out of here a better man

and a more thankful man for all my blessings,

all my food.

It's hot.

It's a hot potato.

Might've went a little too far with burning it.

I don't know.

We'll find out.

And that was the hoof.

It tastes like [bleep] the other way, but roasted?

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

♪ ♪

Now, the nighttime.

The long, arctic night...

where alls a man has to do is feed the fire

and feel with his own thoughts.

♪ ♪

I've been told countless times

I'm too much to hang around,

and that's why I don't got a lot of friends.

I've been thinking about all the people

I've neglected along the way.

♪ ♪

I have been blessed with the two best parents

on the face of the planet,

and I have not spent much time with them.

And we'll set up right here.

Poke a hole for water, and do a little ice fishing.

I turned 48 on this trip.

I didn't celebrate it.

I just bypassed it.

It just reminds me now of my mother a little bit.

♪ ♪

Pretty deep here.

I would never let my mother celebrate my birthday

the way she wanted, especially as I got older.

I always messed her plans up.

I wouldn't be there or be grumpy or something.

Well, that's it.

♪ ♪

As a young man,

young men resents that mothering

when he's wanting to go off and try his self

against the world, you know?

♪ ♪

She never really understood me.

She loved me to a fault,

but she wasn't into the old woodsman stuff.

My whole life's been about me, me, me.

I've focused on what I want to do.

But now, as an older man,

I look back on her as a treasure.

And that's just how life is.

Life's a tragedy all the around for all of us.

♪ ♪

But now I'm sat in here in Rock House

with all this time on my hand at the apex of my career,

and I'm just feeling like

I haven't done my family right,

my mother and father and sister.

I have not spent very much of my adult life with them.

I've pursued everything I ever wanted to do.

So today is 99, Christmas Day.

♪ ♪

Perfect Christmas tree. Look at that.

Christmas tree for Rock House.

But in the end, it can only be what it is.

It is what it is. I like that saying.

I'm not sure how I'm gonna be when I get out of here.

I thought nothing could ever change me or crack me,

but I am definitely gonna be a more thankful man.

Oh, yeah, that's gonna work real good up on there.

I'll never forget this Christmas.

Never as long as I live.

♪ ♪

♪

[ax thunking]

This is a great day for me. [clears throat]

Very great.

Struck off day 100 right here on calendar tree.

Day number one's clear down there at the bottom

on this side.

And clear around and...

had to keep going on up.

80s were down in here.

Today is day 100.

I commemorate my dead mother, just deceased, with it.

♪ ♪

Always been alone.

♪ ♪

Even when I'm with somebody, even in a crowd,

I don't know, I'm just kind of always...

I'm just sort of always...

an island that way.

♪ ♪

Dead silent right now.

Dead silent and calm.

[sniffs]

Everything has a rhythm and a beat,

and the silence is one of the...

[sighs]

Most soothing ones. I just love to...

Hear the dead silence, if that makes any sense.

[humming]

[humming]

In the dead silence,

you can hear your departed mother

sing a hymn in church

from 30 years ago.

That's what you get out of the silence.

[sniffles]

♪ Standing ♪

♪ Standing ♪

[humming]

[humming]

We did it, Ma.

Right here is where I keep my mother's picture,

right beside my bunk.

♪ ♪

All this time, I said "we" and didn't know who,

and it was mother.

♪ ♪

I'll bet it was mother.

It is mother, not was. It is mother.

♪ ♪

We did it.

Today is day 100. We did it.

♪ ♪

- Hey, Roland!

- [laughs]

Oh, man.

- Hey, Bubba!

- Hey, it's little Meg!

- [shouts]

- It's Meg in Rock House!

♪ ♪

[shouts]

- Meg, it's really you!

[laughs]

- I love you!

I love you, too. - I love you.

- I love you, too, Meg.

- I love you, love you, love you.

- I can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

- You did it! You did it!

- I did!

I'm your dang king right here!

- [shouts] You did it!

Yes! [laughs]

- You can't even believe how hard it was.

Oh, my God.

- You did it.

[cheers]

- The whole thing

has given me a little more--

I know it's so weird and sad

that your mother has to die before you get it,

but the whole thing's given me a little more...

continuity with family, perhaps.

- That's right. - Yeah.

- We gotta spend more time together.

- Yeah, I need to see you and Dad a little bit more.

- We need to spend more, mm-hmm.

- How's Dad?

He's good. - Good.

- The whole family is proud of you.

[upbeat music]

- You gotta look at Rock House.

- Oh, yes! [laughs]

- Wandered into a musk ox.

- [yells]

- And killed it.

- Oh, my gosh. This is just so amazing.

- Uh-huh. It's about all gone.

- You still have some left?

- Uh-huh. - [laughs]

♪ ♪

- This is marrow bone.

♪ ♪

It's like a big piece of king crab meat.

- Look at that.

- This is good.

Raw marrow.

That's my butter. That's Rock House butter.

♪ ♪

- That is. - Uh-huh.

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

Wow.

- What a blessing to be standing here,

breaking marrow bones with you.

- I know.

♪ ♪

- I've done some risky [bleep] my whole life,

but this is absolutely the hardest thing I ever did.

♪ ♪

But it turned out to be the greatest thing

I ever done.

I have just won a giant prize

doing something so dear to my heart

that I spent my whole life doing.

All my life,

I fought and clawed up through the ranks

of woodsmens and hunters

and trying to be the best at it,

and getting beat a lot of times.

But life is a long race.

♪ ♪

Hell, yeah, here we come. - Whoo!

- The bulk of this money,

I don't even know yet where it's going,

but it ain't getting thrown away

on a big house and a big pickup truck.

No, it's gonna last me the rest of my life.

I'm gonna slow down

and start spending some more time with family.

I'll spend more time with my sister and my dad.

♪ ♪

But now, I want to dedicate this win,

this whole thing,

to my deceased mother, Mona Welker.

I love you, Mom. I hope you're watching.

♪ ♪

- Coming up, I'll be speaking to the final three

[dramatic music]

- Welcome to "Alone: Tales from the Arctic."

I'm Colby Donaldson, here with the final three

from the finale episode,

Kielyn, Callie, and Roland.

The final two-hour episode

covers 36 days of the challenge,

and there is a lot to cover here.

Callie, I want to start with you.

When did you truly consider

winter in the arctic was in full effect?

- When I was in my shelter with a nice, big fire going,

and there was ice inside of my shelter

with the fire going,

I felt like that was when

the arctic winter was in full swing.

Is that ice on the inside of the fireplace?

That's crazy. [chuckles]

- Kielyn, let's talk about the shortening of the days,

the lack of sunlight-- talk to us about that.

- Yeah, for the entire month of November,

I did not see the sun

because the way that my bay was,

it was creating this localized cloud.

And so it was this band,

and the sun was so low in the sky

that it would raise and then be in that band of cloud

the entire day.

And I wouldn't get to see the sun at all.

That takes a toll on you emotionally.

- Yeah.

Callie, we see you still have that porcupine meat

just tempting you.

When it's that cold and you are that hungry,

what's your mind telling you at that point

about eating the meat?

My mind is saying, "Eat the meat."

I was just drooling.

I was eating rabbits, and they're so lean.

And even though I had the rabbits to eat,

I would just be staring at that porcupine

covered in fat, and I wanted to eat it

so badly.

That's pretty fatty compared to this rabbit.

It's, like, no fat.

So I had to work really hard to make sure

I was thinking about it logically

and not just letting my stomach make the choice for me.

- Well, and I mean, ultimately,

it put you in a crossroad, right?

You've gotta make that decision.

It's a big choice.

What ultimately made you pick what you did?

- I knew if I wanted to stay, I had to eat the porcupine,

so I decided to eat the porcupine

because I was already exposed to the disease.

Even before I opened the porcupine up

to see that the liver was spotted,

I had already touched the porcupine blood.

So I was already exposed,

and since I didn't get sick,

I felt safe to go ahead and try eating

the porcupine.

All that fatty deliciousness, and it was good.

- Yeah.

Well, Roland, you also got a porcupine,

but instead of using your bow and arrow,

you clubbed it.

What led to that decision? I'm curious.

- It was a porcupine on the ground in the open,

and I just didn't need to risk an arrow.

And I had time to round up a club,

and that's one of my favorite ways

to dispatch anyway.

I'm kind of a club sort of dude,

so it was good.

- You talk about being born in the wrong century, Roland,

and now you're talking about

being so comfortable using a club.

I don't mean this as a derogatory term at all,

but there is a certain caveman aspect,

very primal, about what you do.

Is there not? - Yeah.

The more basic, the better.

Blood and guts, dirt and mud.

Anything that I can get my hands into, you know?

I like to be close to my work.

[grunts]

[growling]

- One of the most memorable parts of the episode,

Callie, at one point,

there's something bothering you on your shoulder.

Not sure what it is, but you got a little pain going on.

You start to peel the layers off only to ultimately realize

you have a porcupine quill completely

embedded under the skin

on the back of your shoulder,

probably one of the most inopportune places

to have something like that because being solo,

you gotta figure out how to dig that thing out.

Take us through that experience.

- Yeah, it was crazy.

It's one of those things that just work

deeper and deeper in,

and it would've just kept working, working, working

its way in just like it worked all through the layers

I had on into my skin.

And it would've just kept going deeper,

and where it was,

it was really hard for me to reach it,

and I couldn't really see it.

I was using the camera to be able to see the quill.

I could've really used an extra pair of hands.

- Kielyn, there was a good chunk of this episode

where you're the only who's able to get out on the ice

and fish.

Do you think, looking back now,

if you had been able to get one more big fish,

you could've stayed out there maybe the full 100 days?

- Yeah, I don't think there was any hindsight

necessary in that.

From the day that I started ice fishing,

I had goal.

If I could get seven fish,

then that would take me to the end.

And I landed four fish,

and I actually caught seven.

So I lost three fish,

and I do believe had I had not lost those three fish,

that absolutely would've taken me to the end.

[shouts]

[groans]

[bleep]

- When you lost those, at the moment it happened,

were you able to realize how pivotal that was

for you in the competition?

- Absolutely. When you lose one fish,

you're not just losing one meal.

You're losing an entire week.

And when you're only catching a fish

every five or six days,

that is a huge blow.

- Well, Kielyn, you have referred

to the "Alone" experience as your Olympics,

so much so that you even made some medals.

Let's take a look at this never-before-seen footage

of you doing just that.

♪ ♪

- I made three survival

"Alone" Olympic medals.

I shined up some tin can lids.

There's the gold.

So I carved a wooden medallion.

This is silver.

For bronze...

rainbow!

Tomorrow's day 80.

I think I'm done.

It's a really hard feeling

feeling like you need to justify

why you want to leave,

and only I know what I've been through

and what I've accomplished

and how I've grown as a person.

And I feel-- I feel good about it.

Thank you, everyone, who cheered me on,

and I hope that whoever's left kicks some ass

to make it to day 100.

- Okay, three medals.

I mean, I gotta tell you, I find it a little interesting

that there are three of you left

out there at this point.

There is no way you could've known that at that point.

What did those medals represent to you?

- I was just honored to be there for that long.

I didn't know what place I was in,

but I just assumed that there were more people out there.

I assumed I hadn't won, and I wanted to honor them.

- Kielyn, let's talk about when you did decide to tap out.

It ended up being day 80,

and there's probably gonna be some viewers out there that

think, "Well, it was only 20 days until 100.

Why didn't she just stick with it?"

Why day 80 for you?

- There were so many signs that were starting to pop up

that were telling me that it was time.

I was starting not to be able

to keep myself warm at nighttime,

and then one of the major signs for me was

when I would be warming up my hands,

my hands would be literally in the fire,

and the backs of my hands were frozen.

Frostbite, you know,

that has long-term implications for me.

And I needed to think beyond winning,

beyond the money, so I was really glad

to make the decision when I did

to prevent any, you know, permanent damage.

- Well, and there was a point where you said

you're proud and you won't live with any regrets.

Do you still feel that way?

- Absolutely.

I--that's how I live my life,

you know, always moving forward.

I really feel like this whole experience

has a renewed sense of independence for me,

and that's gonna help me along my journey in life.

- Excellent, well, there is still

Tell me what was going through your head

when you first realized that's what you were dealing with

in your toes.

- I was feeling concerned,

and it's a really tricky situation out there

because the days are so short.

If it's light out, you gotta be moving.

And the frostbite really was kind of a lesson to me

because I could feel it.

I knew that my toes were numb

and they were too cold

and that I should've stopped to rewarm them.

But I wanted to just keep pushing

and get things done and I was like,

"I'll rewarm my feet when it's dark outside."

And I ultimately paid for that.

- How frustrating was it that you constantly

had to take breaks from fishing

just to go warm up your toe?

- It was agonizing because

I had about a two-hour window

between getting my mukluks on and having warm feet.

I could get outside and do things for about two hours,

and then my toe would start to go numb

and I would start being concerned

that I was causing permanent long-term damage

and causing more damage than I already had.

- Well, and at some point, you know,

you alerted the survival team

and let them know you had it.

In fact, they flew out in a helicopter.

We have some never-before-seen footage.

Let's take a look.

♪ ♪

- Hey!

♪ ♪

- So...

- My main thing is my toe.

There's a bit of frostbite.

- So we need to see the feet.

- I've been watching it and checking it,

and it has changed a little bit.

It's traveled just a little bit towards the nail.

- Is it sore? Does that hurt?

- It doesn't hurt. - Okay.

- Have you thought about leaving the field

because of the toe?

- The thought has crossed my mind,

but my conclusion is

as long as I keep it warm

and it doesn't start changing dramatically,

then I feel totally fine to just stay out here.

♪ ♪

- We checked with medical.

So you have second-degree frostbite

on the tip of your big right toe.

- Oh, second? - Yeah, second.

First is, like--

- First is just the very outer layers.

- Yeah. - Second, it's starting to get

deeper into your skin-- - Okay.

- So it's second-degree frostbite.

There is a certain point at which we could extract

for what we consider dangerous frostbite.

If we see frostbite that's disfiguring,

if it reaches third or fourth-degree frostbite,

if it's complicated by an open wound,

or any other point deemed necessary by our doctor,

then we would say, "Okay, may we need to take her out."

We want to prevent any permanent damage.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

- Callie, what's your reaction to seeing that?

- It's hard to see it because I just want to stay

and keep going out there.

But also knowing that my physical edge

is being touched at least,

it was--it's really hard.

- Was it more or less difficult

that they made the decision for you?

- You know, on the one hand,

when the decision's made for you,

you kind of can't rehash in your head,

"Oh, was that the right decision,"

'cause it was sort of out of your hands.

So that makes it a little bit easier.

But there's a lot of challenges that come with that, too.

There's a lot of power

in making the decision for yourself

and choosing when you go and being able to have,

like, the time to say good-bye to your land,

and it's definitely harder to be pulled out

when you're not ready to go.

And for me, my heart was so in it.

I wanted to stay out there till the end.

I wanted to see it through,

so it's, um-- it was really hard.

- After the experience, Callie,

what was the healing process like for your toes,

and how is the toe now?

- It was a pretty long process,

and the healing took months.

I had, you know, bandages on my feet,

and the frostbite had to be abraded off.

It wasn't a very pleasant process,

but my toe regrew.

But it's probably gonna be a lifelong thing forever now.

Those toes will be more sensitive to cold,

and more susceptible to frostbite in the future.

- What is next for you, Callie?

- I'm gonna stay outside,

keep developing my relationship

to the wild world.

Gonna stay grateful.

This was one of the most powerful experiences

of my life,

and I don't want it just to be boiled down to,

"Well, I got frostbite and had to go home."

I left it feeling completely empowered,

and like I could do anything.

And that's the feeling I want to hold,

not that I had to go home because of frostbite.

But I want to focus on what I did accomplish out there,

which was a lot.

- Roland, there was an interesting sequence

in the episode of you being out on the ice

during a whiteout.

Woven in there, you're talking about

sort of losing your way

with your mother and your family.

Tell me about how this experience,

you know, has brought some clarity

on that particular aspect of your life.

- You can get twisted up in the whiteout.

There's a pretty neat analogy there, you know?

Twisted up doesn't mean you're lost.

You found your way home,

and just as I found my way to Rock House,

I find my way home to my family every time, too.

- What is it about this experience, Roland,

that digs up those types of memories

and the emotions that go along with them?

- It's the time.

There's just so much time on your hands,

and the solitude.

And you just got time to go back in your head.

The time and the solitude takes you to those

old memories.

- I do want to take a look

at some never-before-seen footage

that we have of you making it to the end.

Let's take a peek at this.

♪ ♪

- Here, I'll show you my little tool collection

I've been saving.

They're just the way the bones break

and any of it look interesting to me.

I save, of course, all the pointy ones,

but then there's my favorites.

Like this one. I use it a lot.

And here, I made pipe.

This here was a part of the hip bone

of that first hind leg I cooked.

Then that there is a rabbit leg bone

that I sucked the marrow out of,

made a perfect stem.

I been smoking some willow bark.

♪ ♪

I shave it down,

make these frizzles.

And then they dry quick.

I peel them off and put them in my pipe.

♪ ♪

So there it is.

Cabin.

Meat.

Firewood.

Winter, Christmas.

100-day challenge coming to a close.

Mission accomplished.

- All right, Roland,

I just want to get your reaction on that.

- Before launch, I was asked,

"What's gonna happen out there, Roland?"

And I said, "I'm gonna build a log cabin.

"I'm gonna cut a winter's worth of wood.

"I'm gonna shoot a bull moose.

"And I'm gonna make it look so easy.

"I'm gonna take up smoking again

"and smoke my pipe

sitting out in front of the cabin."

Well, I did that after a fashion.

I built Rock House.

I shot a bull musk ox.

I cut my winter's wood.

And I sat out there in front of the whole world,

smoking my musk ox bone pipe with willow bark,

but it wasn't easy.

It wasn't easy, but I'll say it again.

Mission accomplished.

- Roland, any idea what you're gonna spend that money on?

- I'm gonna make the rounds of the home folks,

and see my people

and probably take on another expedition.

Disappearing for a year, that has a nice ring to it.

- [laughs]

Callie, Ky, you two were there

almost just as long as Roland.

Any parting words for him?

- Congratulations, Roland. I mean, you crushed it.

It's impressive.

- Yeah, Roland, you're a beast.

You got mad skills,

and it's crazy the things you've done.

I mean, stabbing a musk ox? You're insane.

[laughs] - Thank you.

You girls were chasing me really hard.

You got the pioneer spirit in you.

You were tough competition.

- Well, that is it for "Alone: Tales from the Artic."

I'd like to thank Kielyn, Callie, and Roland

and all the participants

of "Alone: Million Dollar Challenge.

Right now, there is another crop

of "Alone" participants gearing up for our next season.

We hope you tune in for that.

Until then, get outside, thrive.

We'll see you then.

♪ ♪