Original subtitles

Jess: I've interviewed a couple girls,

and everyone just answers right to camera.

Just be as truthful as you can about modeling, okay?

So tell me a story

of your worst booking.

When I was modeling in Paris,

I had booked a cigarette campaign,

and the client told me I had to sign a paper

saying that I would lose ten pounds.

It was Gauloises Blondes, a French cigarette campaign,

and I had to lose ten pounds to be able to do it.

So I signed an agreement

and they sent me to a "fat doctor" in Paris.

And I go in, and I laid down,

and I have to kind of lift my shirt up

and show my stomach,

and he grabs ahold of my stomach and he goes,

( speaking French )

He's like, "What is that? That is fat!"

And I said, "Uh..."

And he gave amphetamine pills.

( music playing )

♪ She needs a small light sedative ♪

♪ Thinks Eric B.'s the president ♪

♪ She's always getting in ♪

♪ She balls like a gentleman ♪

♪ She's tall, light, and feminine ♪

♪ But crazy as a pelican ♪

♪ She'll spice you up like cinnamon ♪

♪ If you're square like Tiananmen ♪

♪ Everybody wants a piece, look at them hanging on ♪

♪ Everybody wants a piece, look at them hanging on ♪

( music continues )

♪ She goes till she's gone ♪

♪ She goes till she's gone ♪

♪ She goes till she's gone ♪

♪ Like wine ♪

♪ Like wine ♪

♪ She walks slow, hot, and elegant ♪

♪ She dance like she's selling it ♪

♪ She's always in her element ♪

♪ She's shy just for the hell of it ♪

♪ She's tall, light, and feminine ♪

♪ But crazy as a pelican ♪

♪ She'll spice you up like cinnamon ♪

♪ If you're square like Tiananmen ♪

♪ Everybody wants a piece, look at them hanging on ♪

♪ Everybody wants a piece, look at them hanging on ♪

( music continues )

♪ She goes till she's gone ♪

♪ She goes till she's gone ♪

♪ She goes till she's gone ♪

Photographer: You are so bored.

You hate life.

You are miserable.

You're dying.

Perfect!

Brilliant!

Relax.

Change the film.

I remember you from all those "Vogue" covers.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, my friends in grade school really loved them.

- Grade school? - Photographer: We are shooting!

I want to see nothing.

More! Less!

Okay, Kim, can you lean up against the table?

I want the tall skinny one in this.

The blonde is not right.

I want the tall skinny one in this.

Photographer: Could you step out of the photo?

Kim?

- Huh? What, me? - Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Uh...

Photographer: Beautiful.

You are playing cards in the theater.

Beautiful. You are enjoying the game.

( no audible dialogue )

I can't believe she's still modeling.

It's funny how they get nicer with age.

I hear she lost her Inner Glow campaign.

- Photographer: I love it! - I mean, how old is she anyway?

- She's got to be at least 30. - Mein Gott. She's ancient.

I should've brought my spackle.

In the fashion industry, people love to sort of,

in a sense, make you feel

you're not a whole person somehow.

- Hey, Jess, ready? - Yeah, coming right out.

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

Great.

( no audible dialogue )

And we're ready.

Am I in the next shot?

No. Portia, you're up.

Hey, are you gonna use me? What's going on?

You're up next. You look great.

Oh, thank you.

When she smiles, there's lines all over her face.

Kim?

The client seems to think that you look tired,

so you get to go back to the hotel and rest.

But I feel fine.

But we think that this is what would be best.

Okay. We are shooting!

Never ceases to amaze me how thin you are under all that.

Well, you know how long I'd have to waitress

- to make this kind of money? - Doing a great job, Jess.

Well, not everyone can be Cindy Crawford.

My first job ever was shooting Italian "Vogue,"

and a very horrible, horrible man was the stylist,

and he was trying to put me into a chartreuse Versace dress.

And I remember standing in my G-string with my back to him,

and he was trying to squash me into the dress.

And he was having a little bit of trouble, and he said, "All right, love.

Come on, let's just stuff the sausage in there."

Peter: Leave a message and we'll call you back.

Hi, Peter, baby. Uh, call me, okay?

I'll be in my room all night.

Love.

( line ringing )

Jess: We're not home. Leave a message.

- ( beep ) - Kim: Hey, Jess!

Antoine? Anybody home?

( line ringing )

Peter: Leave a message and we'll call you back.

- ( beep ) - Kim: Hi, Peter. Me again.

Call me, okay? Where are you?

People: ♪ Be aggressive, B-E-aggressive ♪

( line ringing )

Dad: Hello?

Hey, Dad. How you doing?

Oh, uh, you just called me

'cause it's your mom's birthday.

Yeah.

Um, uh, how you been?

I miss her.

Well, it's late.

I'm-- I'm kinda tired. I...

Okay, Dad.

Uh, bye then.

- Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

( phone ringing )

( ringing continues )

- Peter? - Clerk: Good morning.

This is your 5 A.M. wakeup call.

Thank you.

( indistinct chatter )

Too bad for you heroin chic is out.

Ha, ha. You're funny.

- You can cover this up, right? - That's his job.

See, what is with the photographer and that beret?

I mean, does he think that's artsy

or maybe he's just going bald.

Uh, Kim?

You are finished today.

We don't need you. You're done.

- Oh. - Like that?

- Yes. Don't stop. - How good?

Oh, damn, it's good.

- It's good. - Just good?

No, it's really-- it's really good.

It's really good. Just keep moving.

So it's really good, but it's not great.

Oh, Dan, come on. Come on.

Think, like, Central Park,

it's a really crowded Sunday afternoon,

very dangerous, lots of people.

You take me behind that rock.

I've got my little baby doll dress--

What are you just-- you're just completely trying to devastate me now or what?

What? Dan, it's your favorite fantasy.

No, no. No, that's your favorite fantasy, okay?

My favorite fantasy does not include

what a good fuck your ex-boyfriend is.

What are you talking about?

The Central Park fantasy, okay?

Trees, jungle.

Okay, lots of people around, really dangerous.

War. Vietnam War.

- Rambo! Rambo! - You're really losing your marbles.

Oh, please, it adds insult to injury

for you to even feign not understanding

what the thinly veiled reality

of what your dream actually means,

which is clearly about the sexual prowess

of your ex-boyfriend.

And when exactly did you figure all this out?

Yesterday. In therapy.

- Oh, please! - What?

Oh, I'm really glad you and your therapist

psychoanalyzed my fantasies.

I'm never gonna tell you another one of my fantasies ever again.

Oh! Thank you.

- Hey. - Oh! Hi.

- You're home. - Yeah, I finished early.

I missed you.

- Want a potato? - Mm-hmm.

- Yummy? - Mmm.

- You think I look tired? - Hmm?

Do you think I look tired?

You look cute doing that.

Are you sure I don't look tired?

What are you talking about?

You will always be my cover girl.

What in God's creation

could you ever have seen in that guy?

I mean, all I can think about when you and I make love

is you and that gorilla and his-- that penile pump.

What penile pump?

I mean, look, I know that you love me 'cause I'm smart,

and I'm funny, and I'm vulnerable,

- and we can talk. - Yeah, Dan, I do.

Except when you become obsessed with a guy I dated 15 years ago

and it renders you impotent.

Excuse me? Okay, renders me--

Okay, nobody here is rendered-- been rendered impotent.

It's just a little hard to perform

with fucking Rocky looking over my shoulder.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, "Adrian!"

What is that, right? What? It's ridiculous.

What? I gotta box a side of beef to get you hot?

Dan, I went on one blind date with the guy when I was 19,

and besides, everyone dated Stallone back then.

- Bye. - Honey!

Why are you always leaving when we're talk--

Honey, come back.

We're--I-- we're talking!

Wouldn't it be great if we were sitting outside, you know?

- Listening to crickets? - Do we have any ice cream?

- I saw this house in the paper today. - Come on, Kim.

You're not on that Connecticut thing again, are you?

Oh, Peter, we could have a huge place in Connecticut

for the price of this apartment.

You could have a study and a fireplace.

I like this apartment.

A lot of our friends have moved out there.

- They love it. - They have kids.

Yeah?

Sweets, I like things just the way they are.

What do you mean, "Just the way they are"?

You want some ice cream?

Look, I don't wanna get into this now.

Why not?

What do you want me to say, Kim?

You and I, we're different.

We're not different.

You're a vegetarian. I'm not.

- I eat chicken. - And I'm Jewish.

That's never been a problem before.

You've never asked me before.

You don't even go to temple.

You know my family. My mother would die if she--

You're mother just doesn't like what I do for a living.

My mother doesn't approve because you're not Jewish.

It's late,

I'm tired,

and I don't want to argue with you.

Hey, Lenny, do you have a good rabbi?

- Rabbi? - Mm-hmm.

Right now you need your accountant

because this is not looking good.

- What do you mean? - Well, here.

- That's how much you got. - What?

That's impossible.

Impossible for you, but it's not a mistake.

But, Lenny, I've made a lot of money.

Kim, darling, do you remember the fashion café?

- Yeah. - You lost a mother lode on that one.

And now you don't have the Inner Glow account anymore.

And didn't I tell you to diversify

and not leave all of your eggs in one little basket?

- ( buzzing ) - Antoine, get the door!

- I know it's for you. - ( buzzing )

No, I can't. Please, would you tell him I'm not home?

It's my trainer, I-- just you get it, please.

- Thanks. - You can't hide from your trainer.

- ( phones ringing ) - ( indistinct chatter )

Patty: Well, don't gaslight me. We agreed to it.

$10,000 is your day rate. That's what you get.

Heidi is very hot right now.

Kim, sweetie, sit down. I'll be with you in a second.

You gotta fly her in first.

I'm not being mean, but I need her back here in two days

fresh for the Revlon job, okay?

- Hi. - Hi, beauty. Mwah, mwah!

- Thank you for coming in. - Thanks.

- You look beautiful. - Same. You, too.

Listen, sweetie, I really appreciate your coming here because we have to talk.

I wanna start by saying that I feel after all this time

you can and I can be incredibly honest with each other, okay?

- Mm-hmm. - All right, sweetie,

since the Inner Glow campaign was canceled,

it's been really hard to reactive your career.

I feel like I have been beating a dead horse.

And I think-- I think what's important is for us to acknowledge

that it just isn't happening for you right now, okay?

- What are you-- - ( phone ringing )

Hold that I thought. I wanna hear it.

I wanna hear it. I'm sorry. Hello?

Hello? Yes.

Hi, Ivanka.

They don't have turkey sandwiches?

Oh, they only have turkey sandwiches.

Sweetie, no, I told them you were a vegan. I did.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Don't you worry. I'm gonna call them right now.

Calvin has you all day tomorrow.

Okay, you get your pretty winks.

Mm-hmm. I will. Bye.

Anyway, darling, I think that what you need to do,

and I say this as your friend,

is think about what else it is that Kim can do.

But what ab-- Patty, what about Macy's or Hecht's?

I mean, call Bergdorf. Come on, they all used to use me.

- You're 32. - I'm 29, Patty.

You're 32, and you've had a great career.

Longer than most girls. And I think--

I think the real thing that's going on here

is that I've had a complaint after the last job

because you look really, really tired,

and the client called to say so.

And I can't have that, sweetie.

That I-- that I look tired?

Patty, this is so unfair.

It's not unfair. It's life. This is the real world.

You knew that going in, come on!

Do you realize what you're saying to me?

I'm telling you that you should start thinking

about doing something else.

What am I gonna do, Patty?

Like, with my high school diploma?

Look, the only thing I can offer you,

and you said you didn't wanna do it,

and if you're willing to revisit it,

is go on commercial auditions, okay?

I mean, that's it. A lot of older cover girls are doing that now.

Older?

Cover girls.

All right? Are you willing to do that?

Yeah. I need to make money.

- I mean, yeah. - There's no shame in that.

I'll make some calls. I'll work the phone for you.

I can't promise anything. We'll see what happens.

But I need you to pound the pavement.

- ( phone ringing ) - All right, sweetie.

I have to take this call, okay?

Patty, I'll work for anybody.

- I'll work-- - I'll call you. Mwah.

- Patty, I'll work-- - I really gotta go. Sorry.

Hello? Yeah, hi!

You got-- she booked it? She booked-- how much?

$50,000. Oh, my God. Kim, I'll see you later.

Uh-huh? Let me write the dates down.

No, I'm gonna call her right now.

Paris? Uh-huh.

Three-- shut up.

Well, this is fan-- I'm retiring after this one.

( music playing )

What's this for?

Madame Gale.

Douche.

You're kidding.

Can you see these lines on my smile?

You see them, right?

Come on, you gotta do something.

I mean, can't you do, like, a power peel

or, like, microdermabrasion?

I think you look really fine.

( muttering )

Donald Trump: I've had an agency for about three years.

People run a lot of things for me.

I mean, I build big buildings in Manhattan.

That's obviously a much bigger business.

But the model agency is fun. It's cute.

It's not a big business.

And I'd say generally a girl will be from anywhere from 16 to 18,

and then probably when you get into 28, 29, it's over.

It's boring. It's really boring.

Honey...

- "Honey," what? - Hey.

I have to get some sleep.

Good night.

( sighs )

( sighs )

- Peter? - Hmm?

Maybe I should convert.

( snoring )

Judaism is going to be what Buddhism was in the '80s.

This is going to be the Jewish millennium.

Now everyone, both Jews and non-Jews, embrace Judaism.

I have my best-selling book

"Koshering Your Sex" available now.

You can pick it up at our bookstore

or order it directly from my website.

The book teaches...

...that true romance is only possible

if people limit themselves

to one partner over the course of a lifetime.

We believe in bashert.

What must be, must be.

Where to meet kosher men?

At the Jewish singles night,

the Soulmate Connection.

Soulmate Connection.

You can also check out our website, KosherLove.com.

- ( music playing ) - ( indistinct chatter )

You know, this is a book

when you're ready to allow your life to expand.

Sex is...

You're not serious.

Yes, I am. I need one of these.

Which one do you like? This? Do you like this?

- This? - Oh.

This'll look great in Peter's apartment, don't you think?

Also inside the book, there are illustrations.

- Mm-hmm. - You know, to give you ideas.

Mm-hmm. How's this?

This? That takes practice.

- So now you wanna be Jewish? - Well, Peter's Jewish.

- So? - Hello!

I'd like to get married before I'm menopausal.

- Look at that fat Jack over there. - Oh, that's not nice.

- That's me in two years. - That is so not nice.

I can't believe you mentioned Connecticut and kids in the same sentence.

I didn't. He did.

When you're desperate, men can smell it,

and it doesn't smell good.

Hey, you know, maybe if you leave him,

he won't care if you're Jewish or not,

he'll just want you back.

- Dump him. He'll love it. - Yeah, come stay with us.

- It'll be fun. - Just like old times.

You know, just tell him that you need a little time to think or something,

and, you know, "It's not me, it's you."

"It's not you, it's me."

Whatever, you know? It'll work.

Men are simplistic. You gotta make them jealous.

- How would you know? - I know.

This little June Cleaver shit never works.

- I don't know, guys. - No, I swear to you.

He'll be on his hands and knees begging.

Hmm.

- Peter? - Hmm?

I feel...

Oh, did you get a new haircut?

- No. - Oh. Mm.

Well, it looks nice.

So, um, I've been doing a lot of thinking,

and I wanna make some changes in my life.

Are you listening to me?

Yes, sweetie, I'm listening.

I-- I love you so much.

Well, you know that.

It's not me.

It's not you. Whatever.

It's me and you.

And, ugh, I'm confused.

You're confused about what?

About us, Peter. I mean, that's what people do.

They move to the next step.

Maybe we need to take a break for a while?

Sometimes when people are apart,

they realize how much they love one another.

Okay.

If that's what you want.

Are you sure you didn't erase any messages?

- Yes. - Oh, come on.

Maybe it's my beeper that's not working.

Instead of driving yourself crazy,

why don't you go on a few dates?

Then you can see if Peter is what you really want.

I just can't seem to lose any weight.

You don't need to lose any weight.

You eat and eat and I just starve and starve.

You eat nothing and then you stuff yourself full of crap.

There's nothing wrong with my eating habits.

Jessica, where the hell is my cheese?

- There was a large piece of Swiss cheese in here. - Don't blame me.

Um, do you get reception in here?

You know, you shouldn't eat that anyway.

It's really unhealthy, it's full of fat, and--

- Now you're calling me fat now. - I am not calling you fat.

Now I know why you're single. You're mean.

- I'm not single. - You will be.

I'm gonna go check my email.

Shut up, Antoine.

At the beginning it's hard to get your head around the fact

that you are a product, and that's what you're selling.

I mean, it's an ultra-thin business.

Everybody knows about that.

I got sent home from a job once

'cause I was too fat, and that was devastating.

I remember being-- I was crying in the airport,

absolutely devastated I'd been sent home because I was too fat.

I was too fat for the clothes. I wasn't too fat.

But that's how you can start

to get a little messed up in your head.

Can you undress, please?

Sure, uh...

Slate, please.

Kim Dunlap.

Now can you give me right profile

and then left profile?

Now can you turn around slowly

so we get your whole body on camera?

( whispering ) Oh, great, get a close-up of my cellulite.

Can you dance now?

Isn't this for a sinus medicine?

Director: Next.

( laughing )

( music playing )

- ( indistinct chatter ) - ...for crying out loud.

- Oh, that's terrible. - ( laughing )

Who really wants to be in their twenties again?

- Good riddance, if you ask me. - I do.

Seems like every guy I'm going out with jilts me for some coed.

I have to say, you are all aging like fine wines.

- Oh, why, thank you. - Karen, I've got a guy for you.

Karen: Okay.

Male, 45, balding.

- Oh, good. - Good shopping and crafts fair buddy.

It's a miracle this guy's still available.

Who the hell goes to crafts fairs?

- Yeah, I wonder why he's still single. - Come on.

Hold on, hold on. Seeking single white female, slender, 25 and under.

- Give me a break. - Oh, so I'm too old and too fat

for Mr. Creepy Bald-Headed Crafts Fair asshole?

You suck.

( laughing )

Oh, Kim, don't look now. Your ex is here.

- No. Which one? - Ooh.

In the corner over there.

- Oh! Oh, it's Lorenzo. - I know.

He was like, what, the second guy you ever slept with?

Kim: Okay, don't look. Don't look, please.

- I had big crush on him on that '80s show. - Shh.

Come on! He looks good. Go! Go and talk to him.

- No, you are not-- - I haven't seen him in, like, ten years.

Get off your keister and go! Go.

You know what? You're gonna go over there, 'cause you're not shy

'cause, um, you're the big cover girl.

You guys want me to?

- Go, cover girl, go. - Yeah.

And we're gonna behave. We're not gonna watch.

- Want this? - Okay, watch me. Another one?

- Yeah. - Oh, my God. Fine.

- All right, now go, sister. Go. - Liquid courage.

- Go. - Check this out.

( laughs )

( music playing )

Lorenzo?

Yeah, that's me.

It's Kim.

Hey, Kim, get us two Coronas and a clean ashtray.

It's Kim. Kim Dunlap?

And?

We dated a long time ago?

Remember? Costa Rica.

New Year's.

Yeah. Yeah, Costa Rica, right.

It's, uh-- it's good to see you again.

( Kim laughs )

Nice to see you.

Well, enjoy your drinks. I mean--

- I'll see you around. - Good luck.

( clattering )

( muttering, laughing )

All: So?

Nothing.

- Huh? - What?

No clue who I even was.

- Can you get me his autograph? - I think he's gay.

- Give me that crafts fair guy. - I heard he has sores.

- Oh, Lord. - Screw that.

He's short.

- How can he not remember? - Oh, who cares?

( music playing )

- Guys, I'm gonna go home. - Okay.

- Yeah? - See you, guys.

Okay. Get a taxi.

- Is she okay? - Yeah. I think.

Uh, taxi!

( grunting )

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

- You all right? - ( whimpers )

Ooh. Okay.

Okay.

( laughing )

Mm.

( laughs )

Whoo!

( muttering )

( clears throat )

( indistinct chatter )

- Kim? - Oh, my God.

Oh, wow.

You look nice.

Oh.

Look! A menorah!

What are you doing here?

What happened to your knee?

Oh. Oh, nothing. I fell.

I've got it figured out. I'm gonna convert.

I'm gonna become Jewish!

What? Kim, are you drunk?

- No. No. - You are totally shitfaced drunk.

I've never seen you like that before.

I'm gonna make you potato "gatelle"

and, uh, gefilte fish!

I'm gonna be what you always wanted,

a Jewish "chiksa"!

Kim, I have to go to bed.

- Okay. - Come on.

I've joined the "L'Shame" Society.

- You joined the what? - The L'Shame Society.

You know.

The L'Chaim Society.

- Kim, Kim! - Whatever.

- Kim, wait. - L'Charte!

- Kim. - Yes? Oh!

- Oh, my God, I fell. - This is not a good idea right now.

- Make my bath. - I've got a meeting early in the morning.

I really need to get some sleep.

What kind of meeting do you have?

- Honey, I'm gonna put you in a cab. - Oh, whoo!

- Boy, we're dizzy! - Kim!

Oh, my God. Almost ready for bed.

( laughing )

You look so good.

Boy, I gotta pee!

- ( urinating ) - Peter, I missed you so much.

Kim.

- Kim, come here. - I'm an idiot.

Come here. You know--

You know he's just a dumb guy

who doesn't know how wonderful you are.

- She was so pretty. - Kim, look at me.

- She was so young. - Look at me.

It's gonna be all right.

- I promise. - I have nowhere to go.

( scoffs )

You have here, where you are...

...with people who love you.

Now, come on, that's gotta count for something.

- Yeah. - Okay?

Now we really need to get you fixed up.

Okay, I'll get it together. I'll get it together.

( music playing )

Kim: Jess, are you awake?

Jess: Yes.

- Kim: I can't sleep. - Jess: Me either.

- Can I sleep in here? - Hop in.

- I called my dad today. - Good.

- He thinks I'm gonna do porn. - What?

He told me not to do any nude pictures for "those videos."

What a jerk.

Yeah, I can always count on my dad to make me feel worse.

It's hard not to let that stuff sink in

no matter how old we get.

I miss my mom.

I miss my mom every day.

Yeah, I know.

I'll be downtown, and I find her the perfect gift,

then I just remember she's no longer here.

It just sucks.

I gotta figure my life out.

You'll figure it out.

Come on, let's go to the diner.

- Come on. Yeah, come on. - Now?

( music playing )

Speaking of your crazy diet...

( music continues )

...coffee diet for ten days!

I mean, my God. Solidarity.

( music continues )

Employee: So did you wanna see a cat or a dog?

Kim: Oh, I don't know.

Now these cats here have been here for the longest.

They're really hard to find homes for.

- Why? - As soon as an animal gets older,

people lose interest.

- They want puppies and kittens. - Oh. Oh.

How long can they stay here?

Uh, we can keep them two months.

- You know, they're put down. - Oh, that's terrible.

Tell me about it. I have 15 cats at home.

Hey, come here.

Person: Well, here's an orange cat, Jimmy.

Look at the kittens over here!

There you go.

Hey. Hey.

But it's only been a week.

A week is a long time. You are going on a date.

- Angelica, it's been a week. - I don't care.

It's not like I'm not trying, I mean--

Okay, you're going on a date with a very sweet man.

- I don't wanna go on a date. - Yes, you do.

- You look stunning. - Who? I--

She didn't mean to have the affair.

She told me it wasn't because she didn't love me.

It was just something she needed to explore.

- Hmm. - But, boy,

when I found out, my whole world collapsed.

- Ah. - I lost a third of my body weight.

- I couldn't sleep. I got hooked on Ambien. - Wow.

Forget my editing job. I mean, I turned comedies into tragedies.

So when she called last night and told me she wanted to make a go of it again,

like, you know, I mean, I have to give it a shot.

- Yeah, sure. - I don't know whether I want her back

because I love her or because of my ego,

but I didn't wanna cancel on you tonight.

But, honey, I've lived here forever. It's rent-controlled.

We're gonna save a ton of money.

Yeah, but if we were to move in together,

don't you think we should have our own apartment?

When you move in here, it becomes our apartment.

Yeah, but my name's not on the lease,

and I don't wanna run into your parents all the time.

What are you talking about? They live on an entirely different floor.

I don't know. It seems--

Oh, well, do you know about this maybe?

- Dan, what's this? - I don't know. Open it.

- A beeper. - Doesn't it rock?

- What's it for? - What do you mean?

So I can always get in touch with you.

It's like our private little Bat Phone.

- Do you understand how archaic those things are? - What do you mean?

- You could just get me two cans and a string. - What are you talking about?

You can always call me on my cell phone.

- Call you on your cell phone? - Mm.

I'm sorry. I thought a beeper would be fun.

But if you don't like it, fine, I'll just take it back.

- No, no, no, no, no. - I'll just take it back.

You know what? I'm gonna kill it. Let me kill it.

No, wait. No, no.

No, you gave me a brand new beeper.

I'm very happy with it.

- It's fun, right? - Thank you.

It's like a secret. It's like you'll always know it's me.

Yes, very fun, very secret, sweetie.

- It's secret. - Yeah.

Eugene "Stub" Hubbard. $1.8 billion.

- 63. It's a little old. - Hmm.

- Five children? No way. - All right.

All right, so John didn't work out,

but, you know, who knows?

He might have a friend, right?

- Ugh, forget it. - ( phone ringing )

Karen.

Yeah, she's right here.

Ooh, a rugby player. Yes.

She'd love to go. Yeah, set it up.

So how do you know Karen?

She's a good friend of my late fiancée's.

Oh. I'm so sorry. She told me about that.

I'm afraid that I've had a wee bit of poor luck lately.

- Yeah. - She died in a car crash last year.

That same year, I lost both my parents.

A large branch fell on them

while eating their breakfast in the back garden.

And then my wee brother Nate was a doctor.

He got poisoned.

He got meningitis when he treated some nutter

that bit him in the hospital.

I'm so sorry.

I mean, your whole family. You lost your whole family.

Right. Well, I don't really want to talk about that.

- What about you? - Oh.

Oh, I just broke up with someone.

Have you been dating since everything?

Oh, aye. Met a lovely girl, Margaret.

Eight months ago, I asked her to marry me.

On the way home from Happy Class,

where they teach you to visualize positive things,

- a car swerved-- - Ooh!

( laughing )

She almost took your head off!

( continues laughing )

( chuckles )

- All: Oh! - Wow.

You gotta get out there and meet some new men.

You just gotta get some groove back in your life.

- I've got groove. - Yeah, uh-huh. I'll set you up, roomie.

Uh-huh, you're not. No way.

Last guy you set me up with, I'm lucky I'm still alive.

- Sweetie. - Watch, watch, watch this!

- Oh, okay. - Look out.

- Oh. - Okay, you know what?

She's not talking about a date. She's talking about sex.

- A poke in the whiskers. - I don't want to have sex.

- I don't... - You don't wanna have sex?

I don't wanna sleep with anyone. I don't want to just have sex.

Come on, it's a mercy boning. It's a good first date.

Whoa. Got the guy. Got the sure thing.

He is the perfect one night stand.

Whoo!

So after the breakup, uh,

I decided to be celibate for six months.

Oh. Hmm.

It's been three months. I haven't touched a woman.

- Really? - Yeah.

And it's been a really healing thing, too.

You know, now when I meet a woman,

it's not just sexual desire.

It's about her mind and soul.

Hey, honey, can we get another sake, please?

Wow, that sounds really interesting.

- I mean, you must've been really hurt. - I'm relationship man.

Guess I shouldn't admit that.

I can get very attached.

Now, I shouldn't say this,

but I am all about long commitments.

- You got enough sake there? - Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

You know, it's so unusual to hear a man talk about his feelings like--

Well, really, sex-- sex is secondary.

- Yeah? - You know?

I mean, it's the need of the flesh.

I think what we need to do is to know each other's souls,

- You know? - Yeah.

- Oh! My instrument! - Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

- Oh, my God, I'm sorry. - ( grunts )

Uh, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

- I'm so sorry. - Can we get some more sake? Cold?

- So sorry. - It's okay.

Yeah, um...

Getting to know a woman's soul intimately...

You are incredibly beautiful,

and very...

...very smart.

You know, your collarbone reveals a lot about you.

You know that don't you? You're very fragile.

- Dan: Close your eyes. - They're closed.

Ha! Unh!

What are you doing?

Military style push-ups.

Okay, I don't think this is gonna work out.

- Why not? - You're wearing a headband.

I haven't mentioned Stallone once.

That's it. I'm calling 911.

- You should move in with me. - Oh?

And why would I want to do that?

I don't think you understand how powerful I am.

I mean, do you understand that I could just manhandle you like a little doll?

Look at this.

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,

cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.

Punch that. Punch, punch, punch!

Come on, baby. Let's live together.

- You're mad. - You love me.

( laughs )

( music playing )

I feel used. It's been a week and he hasn't called.

You feel used? It's supposed to be the other way around.

- I don't sleep around. - Then call him.

- I'm not calling him. - Call who?

- Roger. - Roger? Who's Roger?

- This idiot I slept with. - What? You guys never tell me anything!

It was supposed to be therapeutic sex.

He must think I'm just some slut who does this all the time.

Who cares? You don't even like him.

Well, that doesn't matter. He should still call!

I mean, he's so into me, and then it's like we sleep together,

he's like poof! I don't even exist!

You know what? I'm not gonna take this shit anymore!

That's why I don't date. I can't take the rejection.

( music playing )

( music continues )

Whoa, what's with all the asians?

Oy, vey.

-Good evening! -We're gonna hit the bar.

And welcome to the Soulmate Connection!

I see we have a very promising group here tonight.

I know, I know, you wanna meet and mingle with others

who you share common goals--

people who are concerned about their souls.

Maybe you're not finding that special someone

you know, in the bars, in the clubs.

( indistinct chatter )

That's what we're here for!

You can also check us out on our website,

KosherLove.com.

Have a fun and hopefully fulfilling evening!

- ( music playing ) - Ha, ha!

Uh-huh! Let's go! Let's have some fun!

Me and mingle! Me and mingle!

Do what you want! Do what you want!

Say hello! Hello! Greet, greet, greet, greet!

- Hi, baby. - Hey, gorgeous.

Dan, what am I doing?

I just watched some of the other films and everyone's so talented.

No one's gonna wanna watch mine.

Okay, those other films are totally dumb.

People only wanna watch your film.

There's no film anybody wants to watch other than yours.

No, really, what if it stinks? How can I ask people for money?

Honey, it's not gonna suck. It's gonna be great.

Everything you do turns out great.

Come on. I'll help you shop for your big dinner.

Do you need to get back to work?

All I have to do in this entire world

is hang out with you, sweetie.

Oh.

What do you think I should make?

- Goulash. - ( laughs )

- Nice. - You were saying?

That's great.

That's fun. Can we get a light check, Jay?

- Flash? It's good. - Thank you.

All right.

Hmm?

Uh, say, can we see something in profile?

Okay, um...

Okay, take a step back.

That's good.

All right, now turn your back to the camera.

- Yeah. And smile. - ( shutter clicking )

Yes.

Beautiful.

( music playing )

Heh.

There you go.

( music continues )

I think as a model, period, even you don't have complexes,

you create a lot of complexes because of the perfectionism,

in the sense where everything has to be flawless.

That's what hard in the end

because you feel like you're really being judged

by the outside of yourself more anything else.

And the rejection gets really hard,

especially if you're a sensitive person.

- Stop it. - I can't believe this.

I'm doing all the work, and I'm not even invited.

You weren't the Inner Glow girl.

Men.

All they care about is pretty girls.

- What about me? - What about you?

- I have feelings. - What a depressing day.

Hey, Kim, maybe you can help me cook dinner.

What, are you kidding?

I've only ever ordered room service my whole life.

You were gonna help me out tonight, remember?

I've got the investors coming over.

You're gonna schmooze them, tell them all about the modeling world.

- That's tonight? - Yeah. I really need you to turn the charm on.

- Did Peter call? - Turn the page. Move on.

Kim, what you need is a good date

so you can reinvent yourself.

Jess: Like you would know.

See? You're just mean!

Just because I've been going through a bit of a dry spell

- doesn't mean that I'm-- - A dry spell?

You haven't been on a date for over a year.

That's because all I do is hang out with you straight people.

I need to go to Miami.

Do you guys know how many animals are abandoned

on the streets of this city every day?

Okay. What are you talking about?

At the shelter today, I mean, these old cats, they just sit there.

They just-- their families just give them up

and they just sit there for weeks, you know?

People come in there and they just want the puppies and kittens,

and the older ones, they just sit there.

They just sit there and wait.

Honey, you need a vacation.

A vacation? I don't even work!

( music playing )

♪ Let me sing you a lullaby! ♪

Jess: You guys are gonna meet Kim.

She's really interesting, really articulate.

She's a great example of what I'll be getting from the girls.

So I'll have the final budget ready by the end of this week,

and really any level of involvement

- would be greatly appreciated. - Yeah, marveling.

Really great business.

Thanks so much, you guys.

You can date any girl you want in this film

because we need the bucks.

- Kim's just kidding. - ( laughing )

Well, I mean, how many models have you slept with?

Come on, can I count them on my fingers?

- Well, uh... - Lance, thank you so much for preparing the LLC.

It's a piece of cake.

So anyway, it's a documentary,

and it's gonna be filmed on digital video,

and we're getting real stories from all the girls.

- I think it's gonna be really exciting. - Hey, hey, uh...

And we're really getting it all.

...do you have hair on your back?

- Uh, um, no? - Okay.

Then I'm gonna tell you

it was like he was wearing a vest.

Kim, come help me get the main course.

Kim? Come on.

( muttering )

Jess, should we serve them dessert?

- Whoo-hoo! - You're smashed.

What's the hell's the matter with you?

They love us. We got their money!

It's a home run!

You're ruining this for me.

( indistinct chatter )

Jess: Stop it.

- And since when do you... - ( chatter continues )

Kim: Oh, sorry.

It's all totally fine.

- Let me get you-- - Careful!

- ( grunts ) - ( Kim squealing )

- ( Jess whispering ) - ( laughing )

Hey, hi, upside-down man.

Sorry about that, guys.

She's had a really hard time lately.

Jess, I'm sorry.

I have no idea what came over me last night.

You made a complete fool of yourself.

I don't even wanna know what I said.

I bet you don't.

How about thinking about somebody else

- but yourself for a change? - I said I'm sorry.

You knew how important last night was for me.

You need to deal with your problems.

I'm dealing with my problems.

Oh, yeah? By getting drunk?

I'm going through a really hard time, okay?

You selfish, spoiled brat.

You ruined it for me, and you want me to feel sorry for you?

I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me.

I didn't have the big career like you did, okay?

All the campaigns, the car services. I worked.

I was happy for every booking I ever got.

And you, you bought into the, "Oh, Kim's the big star."

- Oh, did not! - Hey, it's time to move on.

Well, it's not so easy, okay?

Yeah, 'cause you make it impossible.

I mean, I know everything hit you all at once with your mom, with Peter--

Oh, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

( music playing )

Ugh, come on. Don't look so lonely.

You know, I'm no good for anybody anyway.

Everyone's pissed at me. I'm no good.

I'd probably forget you somewhere.

It's not gonna work.

It's just not gonna work out, okay?

I'm sorry.

( music continues )

- Do you think I'm spoiled? - Yeah.

- You think so? - Yeah.

- Are you serious? - Well, it's, you know--

it's just sort of what happens.

It happens to all you girls. It's the industry.

I mean, don't take it personally or anything.

Well, how can I not take it personal?

I don't wanna be a bad, spoiled person who ruins...

( sighs ) ...you know, friendships.

Well, then you're just gonna have to grow up a little bit.

Hi.

I really need to talk to you.

Okay.

I didn't wanna call you.

I just missed you.

I'm glad you called me.

I was afraid you never wanted to speak to me again.

Hey, I missed you.

That night really hurt.

I know. I'm really sorry, Kim.

I still feel terrible about it, honey.

Are you still seeing her?

It's not serious.

Nothing with you is ever serious.

Okay, could you cut me a little slack here?

Because this isn't easy for me either.

That's true.

You know, when we first started seeing each other,

we wanted the same things.

We were gonna live together, we weren't gonna get married,

we weren't gonna be encumbered by kids, children.

We talked about it.

I thought I wanted all that.

You used to be so into your career, you know?

We'd travel all the time. We used to have so much fun.

I mean, for God's sakes, you even said it yourself.

You wanted your own options open.

Then all of a sudden you started talking about a house in Connecticut.

- Kids. - Yeah.

I never wanted that.

It's you that changed.

I guess I did.

I wanna grow up.

( music playing )

Hey, baby.

I'm pregnant.

Come in.

Have you thought about, um,

you know, what you-- what you wanna do about it?

Yeah, I'm definitely having this baby.

- Really? You are? - Yeah. Yeah.

Have you thought about whether you--

you want me to be the father of it?

- Dan, you are the father. - I know, I know.

But, I mean, you know, like, raise it,

like, mother and father together.

I mean, you don't even know if you wanna live with me.

Well, this whole avoidance of being close with me--

Hey, honey, I asked you to move in with me,

and you said you didn't know if you wanted to live with me.

I know, and you think you say all the right things,

and you big these big overtures, and you're affectionate.

But you can't even make love to me

because of some lame excuse.

Apparently I can make love enough

to make a little baby in there. I mean--

Dan, I'd much rather have this baby on my own

than with someone who's not all the way there.

( music continues )

Well...

Listen, um...

I just hope you can find a way

to see past my, uh, stupidity

and see that Jessica is such a good person.

I mean, she'll never give up on this project. Never.

I just want you to know

if you guys invest in her project,

you're gonna be so proud to be on her team.

She is one of the most honest, decent human beings I know.

She needs your support.

Uh, I got some stuff for dinner.

I figured you'd be tired.

Jess, I am so sorry.

I really screwed things up for you.

You're my best friend. I don't wanna lose you.

Jess: What's this?

Your film is financed.

I went to Paul and Lance and apologized.

And they let you in the door?

They did look a little nervous.

I bet they did.

The last investor's me.

Wow.

Can you afford this?

- No. - Good.

Thank you.

I never really saw the model persona.

I never understood that to so many men

in New York, Paris, L.A., sort of the big city,

it was a very important thing that they could say

to their friends, "Oh, I have a model."

And if they could say a name with it, it was even better.

Uh, shocking to me.

I mean, it's so empty to me, but, um, men.

Whole other subject.

Well, it finally happened.

In the Olympics of love, I got the gold medal.

- What are you saying? - I'm in love.

- You're kidding. - He's amazing.

He's like Japanese Elvis,

and he's so cool, and thanks to you.

What do you mean thanks to me?

You know that website, that KosherLove.com?

Oh, my God. The KosherLove?

I checked it out. I met this amazing guy. It's a treasure trove.

His name is Lee. And it's so rad. Thank you!

KosherLove? You registered on KosherLove?

I registered me and I registered you.

Listen, I did you a favor,

and Lee's been chatting with this guy,

he's supposed to be great,

so he's gonna pick you up tonight at 8.

- Tonight? - Yeah!

Come on! What can go wrong?

- Hi. - I'm Eddie.

- Eddie Herpjes. Hi. - Oh. Hi.

- How are you? - Um--

Listen, the Herpjes, my last name,

it's spelled with a "J" actually.

- It's Romanian. "Herp-jes." - Oh, okay.

- I don't really have herpes. - Ah.

- I don't think. - Good.

- Oh, I got you this. - Oh. Oh, thank--

- Oh! Uh, oh, my God. - Oh, ow.

- ( groans ) - I'm so sorry.

- No, it's okay. - Oh, God.

- Ooh, you're-- are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- So, listen. - I'm sorry, uh--

- This-- - Uh...

You're gorgeous.

You know, this is my first time using KosherSex.com?

- Oh, KosherLove. - KosherLove.com.

- KosherLove. - Okay, so there are two of them.

I, uh-- anyway, I got a great evening planned for us,

- and I'm glad that-- - Okay.

- Let's go. - Okay.

- Let me-- let me here. - Sure. Uh, oh.

Okay.

Oh, that's beautiful.

( opera music playing )

And that's the story of how Paganism

had no influence whatsoever

on the shape of that crock-pot.

Oh.

Ah, I love this aria.

Ah, it's exquisite.

Do you die for the opera?

- Hmm? - Ah, shh.

( music continues )

That's Maria Callus.

She's a genius.

You look like her.

- I do? - Except for the nose.

She had a strong nose.

( humming )

( vocalizing off-key )

- Do you like my place? - Yeah, it's--

- I like it. - This is nice.

I love the fire. I love the wine.

I love sitting here.

I love you.

As a friend.

So what do you think?

Are you gonna have children someday or--

- how many do you want? - Um...

Well, uh, I guess I wanna have kids, yeah.

You should. I think you'd be good at it.

I want five.

Hey, I wanna read something to you.

You're gonna love this.

Ah, this is so good.

Kimberly, to me, this is one of the sexiest passages in all of literature.

"The Lord is my shepherd.

I shall not want.

He maketh me lie down--"

Can I use the bathroom?

Uh, thank you.

Modeling lasts-- it seems like forever,

but it lasts-- it goes like that.

And then all of a sudden, you know, you're-- you're left standing there.

And here you made all this money, you did all this stuff,

and you don't have anything left, and it's gone.

And then you step into the real world

and you're like, "Oh, my God!"

Kim: I don't know. Like, how do you feel?

How do you feel when all these people, they come in, and they run to the kittens?

I mean, that's bullshit. That's bullshit, you know?

You're beautiful, you're perfect, you're--

you do look tired. Are you tired?

I'm boring you, aren't I, huh?

You said you wanted to make money.

Kim, this is the way to make money.

But estrogen replacement therapy auditions?

- I'm sorry, Kim. That's the business. - Give me a break!

Look, you have any more complaints, bring them up with Mrs. Stone.

She's still the one who calls the shots around here, okay?

Oh, you're right. Mrs. Stone is exactly who I need to talk to.

Well, you do what you have to do, Kim. I have an appointment.

- Hi. - Damn it.

Oh, Kim, this is Capri. She is the new Inner Glow girl.

- Hi. - Hi.

Patty, I guess I'll just talk to you later.

Okay. Hi!

- Congratulations, sweetie. - Thank you.

- Come sign a contract. - Okay.

Okay, that's good. That's good.

- Okay, this is good. - ( clears throat )

Okay, here's the scene.

Typical mother/daughter. Daughter's asking advice.

Mom knows best. Blah-dee-blah, blah, blah.

Tiffany.

Kim, this is Tiffany, your daughter.

- Tiffany, say hi to Mom. - Hi, Mom.

Okay, now, Tiffany, when I say action,

you look at Mom and you say your line.

- Got it? Oh, I knew you would. - Okay.

Now, Kim, you reply with,

"Madame Gale leaves me feeling fresh all day long."

So let's make it fresh. Ah! Huh? And natural.

- Okay. - Okay.

Okay, could I have a roll, please?

Six, please.

Okay, and action.

Mom, what do you use?

Madame Gale leaves me feeling fresh all day long.

Okay, uh, Kim. Kim, could we have more, please?

Maybe some more feeling? Because that is your daughter. She's your daughter, isn't she?

You wanna give her feeling because she's your daughter, you're her mother.

Mother/daughter, daughter/mother.

You understand? She sprang from your loins, Kim.

She sprang from your loins, which are now feeling very fresh, aren't they?

And you wanna tell her about it. Why?

Because she is your daughter.

And Tiffany, you are the cutest teddy bear at the teddy bear picnic.

Still rolling? Good.

- Ready? - Yes.

- Action. - Mom, what do you use?

Madame Gale leaves me fresh feel-- feeling all day long.

Cut! Okay, Kim.

You need to look adoringly at your daughter.

It's your daughter. She's your daughter.

And the line is "Feeling fresh!"

Okay. Could I get a roll, please?

Six.

- And once again, action. - Mom, what do you--

You know, this is ridiculous. I'm supposed to play her mother?

That is what we booked you for, yes.

- I'm 31, for Christ's sakes! - Uh-huh, and an actress.

- So, oh! I have an idea. Act! - You know what?

What fucking kind of image is this? I'm not buying it.

Look, Tiffany, can you-- how old are you?

- 18. - Really? How old are you?

- 27. - Ah. I rest my case.

Where are you going? Where is she going?

I did not say talent could leave the set. Get back here!

You will never work in douche again!

( indistinct chatter )

Stop the movie! I just came from therapy.

Honey! Wait, stop the movie! Stop the movie!

I just came from my shrink. We figured it out.

- Baby, you have to marry me. - That was my best take!

You were right. Everything you said was right. But I'm totally cured now.

You know what it was? I was just scared. Whoo! Big surprise.

The point is I wanna get close and I wanna have sex, okay?

Preferably right now.

Um, guys, can you give us a minute?

Honey, come on. Let's have a little sex. Sex-- sex me.

You have to marry me, sweetheart.

- Please, baby, be my wife. - Dan.

Will you marry me?

I'm flattered that you wanna get married,

but this is all so overwhelming for me.

I mean, everything is going way, way too fast.

Would it be all right if we just live together at first?

Okay.

I'm gonna be a really good father.

- I promise. - I know.

I have to get back to work now. Yes, yes.

- Wait here for me. - Okay.

Excuse me, where is the orange cat?

Uh, I don't know. I think we put him down.

What? I wanted to adopt him.

I'm sorry, miss. We needed the cage space. We do the best we can.

Hi, Kim.

Oh. He's here.

Oh, I'm so relieved.

- We were just cleaning him up. - Oh, hi.

Oh.

Are you finally gonna take him home?

Yeah. Today's the day.

I'm gonna call him Marmalade.

- What do you think? - I think he's really lucky.

( meows )

( music playing )

Whatever.

( giggling )

- You've ruined me. - That's what I'm trying to tell you.

- He's back. - Yeah, baby.

That's what I'm trying to say.

I'm back. Fucking back, huh?

All right? I'm super!

I'm Mr. Sex! I am back!

Who's Mr. Supermodel now, huh?

Who is Uber Rambo?

Rabbi: I felt a certain vibration

when these two came together.

Let us give a toast...

...to Lee and Karen.

Give 'em a big mazel tov!

( music playing )

- Roger? It's Kim. - Hey, Kim.

Oh, hi.

Listen, I just want to apologize.

Aw, listen, I want to apologize.

No, really was going through a really hard time.

- I really wasn't myself. - Hey, it's okay, you know?

- ( indistinct chatter ) - May I?

Step away, please.

That's a little harsh.

Come on, step off. Quickly.

Honey, come on.

You'll appreciate this.

I am now going to Sexaholics Anonymous.

Wow. Really?

What do you think, I-- come on.

Wake up. Smell the roses. Hello?

- Come on, we're dancing. - Uh, yeah.

Ah, well.

Hi, I'm Eddie Herpjes.

Yes. Yes, I'm sure you are.

Look at her. Anything is possible.

You guys, this is Lee. Isn't he fantastic?

- Hi, Lee, you're fantastic. - Yes, I am. Thank you.

- You are fantastic, too. - I know! I love him.

- Good luck to you guys. Take care. - See ya.

Now when I meet a woman, you know, it's not just a sexual thing.

It's a mind and a soul thing.

I'm serious, dude.

I have this overwhelming feeling

that everything's gonna turn out great.

Really great.

Jess: How do you like your new place?

Kim: Not so bad living alone.

I'm actually starting to like my own company.

Hey, are we running?

I'll see you at the park at 12:30.

See you there.

( phone ringing )

What'd you forget?

- Man: Uh, my cat? - What?

( doorbell rings )

- Hi. - Hi.

- I'm Aidan. - Hi.

I'm really sorry about this. I hope you don't mind.

The Humane Society, they gave me your phone number.

Oh. No, I figured that. Yeah.

I was away working in Europe and my cat got out.

Have we met somewhere?

Mm, no, I don't think so.

- ( meows ) - Pacino!

Oh, poor guy. Yeah.

I can't believe this. He obviously knows you.

This is him all right. Pacino, I have missed you.

Yeah, this is my cat.

Can I reimburse you somehow financially or--

God, no. God, of course not.

Wow, this is just weird. I--

- Can I have a minute with him, please? - Well, yeah.

Okay. Thanks.

What do we do now, huh?

I'm happy for you. You get to go home.

It's gonna be okay.

He's a great cat.

He's been a great friend to me.

Well, I can't thank you enough.

Sure.

Would you like to go for a cup of coffee?

God, I'd love to. I have to study.

- I... - Right.

( music playing )

- You might need this. - Oh.

- Thank you. - I don't have classes next week.

I'll call you.

Okay.

Jess: You ready?

- Is it on? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Okay.

I'm just gonna ask you a couple questions.

Just answer directly to the lens.

What are you doing now?

Um, I go to Columbia.

I'm a 32 year old coed.

And I'm studying, uh, international relations.

And I'm not worrying about my wrinkles,

and I'm not worrying about what I eat.

Um, and, uh, you know,

the rest world of thinks I'm young,

and that feels great.

- Cut! - Did that work?

- Oh, yeah! That was great. - Oh, my God.

You know? It's so hard when you just sit here and come up with the stories.

Let me just unhook you. Hang on.

Wait a minute, Miss Filmmaker. You're light is on.

- You didn't turn the camera off. - I did-- I didn't. Yeah.

- That's right. - Okay, you're right.

( music playing )

I had to wear this bizarre mask.

Um, it was like a huge mask

with mirrors all over it,

and they wanted to set it on fire.

I'm giving myself another five years, give or take.

I'm trying to buy that big house.

That's what I'm aiming for.

I want that big house, a boat,

a helicopter, and a big car,

three babies, and two dogs.

Then I can leave.

Truly, that's what I want.

If you hit a certain age,

you really need to just do something else.

Because in modeling, I think by the time

you're 22, 23, you're already perceived as old.

After 27, 28, you know,

you're ready for the glue factory, you know?

Like a horse.

As model how do men treat you? Good. I mean, they like models.

There's a certain kind who goes for the models.

Especially in the beginning, you're decoration.

Good decoration for the dining table.

One time I did this job in Boston,

and I had to run down a runway

and there was a little prop--

one of those double-winged prop planes behind me.

I had to sprint down the runway

and the plane was going behind me with a big propeller.

Um, it didn't seem scary at the time,

but I guess it's kind of insane.

The look changes.

Today, if a girl is too beautiful,

they don't want 'em.

Tomorrow, they don't want the great beauties like it was.

But today if somebody is too beautiful,

they just don't want 'em.

I don't think I would go through the whole go-see

and showing your book and doing the tests

and all that stuff.

I think that's why it's acceptable

when you're so young 'cause you're stupid enough to do it.

When I go to go-sees, I feel--

sometimes I feel like a piece of meat.

The main thing for any young girl coming into the industry,

realize that it's a business.

Don't get confused.

It's all about the money, unfortunately.