All language subtitles for SpiderBabe.2003.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Thank you for watching.

You know?

You're even prettier with these things
off.

Go ahead, look.

Yeah, but then I can't see.

This is the sound

Patricia dear, you're going to be late
for your science trip.

I'll be right down.

Morning.

Sorry, I don't have time to sit down and
have breakfast with you guys. I'm

really running late.

But dear, you're moving into your
apartment this weekend.

It's the last time to enjoy my home
cooking.

I'm only moving a mile away. I mean, I
can still come by.

You can swing by any time.

Oh,

thanks, you two.

You know, you really have been good to
me.

It hasn't been easy since Mom and Dad
died, but you really have treated me

a daughter you never had.

Thanks to Mr.

Tight Pants over here.

But you can spend as much time as you
want with us, dear.

Now, Lisa, I got to jet.

Bye. Bye.

Okay, the brat's gone.

Time to get into the gimp outfit.

The client's going to be here in an
hour.

Oh, nice ride, Lisa.

Hey, thanks. This is a little graduation
present from Lucinda.

It must have cost a lot.

Yeah, well, it's only money.

Yeah, I guess.

No, I didn't mean it that way. I'm
sorry. No, I know what you mean.

Um, are you still cool about fronting my
half of the deposit for the apartment?

I'm going to get a job this weekend.

Of course I am. You ready for school,
Rumi?

Ready, steady, go!

Oh, sorry.

Pat the prude, Pat the prude!

Why don't you grow up and leave her
alone, jerk?

Don't listen to that bonehead. He's just
a jerk.

Oh, yeah, I don't care what that guy
says.

Yo, my two favorite ladies.

Hey, Mark, where you been hiding?

Nowhere. I've just been playing ball
with the guys.

Get lost.

Yo, Patricia.

I was wondering maybe you could tutor me
this afternoon.

This nice jazz gives me a huge headache.

Okay. So it's a date.

I'll call you later. We'll just... Come
over, whatever.

Or maybe I'll just have you right here.

Okay. Oh, okay.

Great. Ciao, ladies.

Earth to Patricia.

What?

I think we found a candidate for Miss
Prude.

No, no, no, no.

Mark Jeremy and I have been friends
since grade school.

And anyway, he won't be interested in
me.

Oh, you won't know until you try.

Well, I guess I won't know then.

Hello, students. I'm Dr.

Duhwell.

I am a genetic scientist.

For several years now, I've been trying
to genetically engineer a hybrid spider,

a specimen that contains all the
elements of several different

species all in one specimen.

Now, this hybrid species that I'm going
to show you today has been

subjected to several different types of
radiation.

at several different levels, and I'm
here to tell you that its powers and

abilities have been magnified
fantastically.

Yeah. So, uh, what happens if this
spider, like, bit somebody?

Logically, they would turn into a
superhero and fight crime.

Um, has any of this radioactive exposure
had any side effects on the spider? You

know, like, negative side effects?

As a matter of fact, yes, I would have
to say that the great side effect is

he has become more prone toward
procreation.

More amorous, or as you kids like to put
it nowadays, horny, baby!

Hey, porker, you could use some of that.

Reed, thanks for compromising my
education.

I'm trying to learn something.

Okay, everybody.

Settle down.

Now, okay.

At this point, it gives me great
pleasure to introduce to you all...

Or, as I like to call him, Randy.

Motherfucker! This is going to be my
ass!

I'm afraid that the lecture is going to
have to be cut short.

today and if you would all kindly leave
the museum very slowly and watch where

you walk for the sake of christ because
there's a spider running around here

that's worth more than all of us put
together

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God, why?

Take me instead.

What would happen if that thing bit
somebody? Bit somebody?

They would turn into a superhero and
fight crime.

Patricia, dear, you're home early. Are
you okay?

I'm annoying. Maybe I don't feel right.
I'm going up to bed.

Okay, sweetheart.

What are you looking at? Look away.

Bye.

Patricia?

Unshag me.

Eww.

Parker, Parker, Parker!

Hey. Hi.

Hey.

You shouldn't have left yesterday. You
missed the best part of the lecture.

The spider got loose.

Wow. Did you get a makeover or
something?

Yeah, something.

You look nice today. I like your outfit.

Thanks.

Anyway, this is my sister. Listen to not
this. This is Patricia.

At last we meet.

I understand you're quite the science
quiz.

Yeah, I guess.

Oh, wow. I mean, I've heard so much cool
stuff about Knox Technologies. I mean,

really, really fascinating stuff.

I'd love to take a tour of the place
sometime.

I think I could arrange a guided tour.
Really? Absolutely.

I've got to get going. I'll see you
tonight. Great meeting you, finally.

Likewise.

Wow.

Your sister is so cool.

Yeah.

So, why don't you tell me what's going
on with you?

Nothing. Nothing. I just felt like
getting dressed up today.

Rent money, rent money.

High school janitor.

Some kid just picked all over the
hamster cage in the science lab.

When you're done cleaning that, go clean
the teacher's shit.

Diner waitress?

Ten cents?

You give me ten flippin' cents?

The soup was cold.

Hmm.

Nurse's assistant.

Mr. Johnson, it's time for your high
colonic treatment.

Thank you.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, wait.

A thousand dollars to anyone who can
stay in the ring with the Queen Bee for

three minutes.

That's it.

But how do I disguise myself so nobody
knows that I have superhuman powers?

Well, I disguise.

Oh, Uncle Clem. I know I was supposed to
help you paint the dungeon tonight, but

something really important's come up,
so... Sorry. Tricia, wait.

I think your uncle has something to say
to you.

Clem?

I

know.

Study hard.

I know, Uncle Clem.

No drugs.

Use a condom.

I love you, Guy.

We love you, too.

Go on. Go.

Ian.

What are you sitting there like an old
fool for? Hurry up. Go follow her.

And if you're going into the city, stop
by the pink pussycat and get me some

Benoit balls.

The old ones are getting nasty.

Hurry up, you old fuck!

What'd you say your name was again, kid?

Pussyweb.

That's ridiculous.

What's your shtick?

Shtick? Yeah, weren't you supposed to be
a bug or some shit like that? Oh, I'm a

spider.

And a quite lovely one at that.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next
contestant, the lovely, the

bodacious, Spider...

Are you sure you want to get through
with this, Pipqueak?

I thought they threw ones your size back
in the pond.

Whatever, shouldn't you be out
pollinating a flower or something?

Let's get ready to fumble!

That's a hopping spider, you moron. You
suck!

Yeah, so does your mother!

Nipple cakes, ladies and gentlemen.

Highly effective.

Highly erotic.

Don't forget their peanuts and snacks at
the snack bar. Perfectly of Joe's Bar.

Special brand of pig town and it's
moving in for a pinch and squeeze.

Oh, yes, please.

Come on, are you people dead? Let's hear
it. Come on.

I'll never wash these ropes again.

this masked woman.

Ladies and gentlemen, isn't this
fantastic?

Nice, dual -tongue -twisting pile
driving.

I know I'm hot.

I'm off to Bob's Appliances where they
have the largest selection of air

conditioners in all of New York. Bob's
Appliances, 13th and Broadway.

We proudly sponsor this, our hot, sweaty
moment of the night.

Are you coming for me?

I know you want me right now, huh?

Is the promoter's office this way?

Oh, you're looking for promotion?

I got a real big promotion for you right
here.

You know what I'm saying?

You're a disgusting creep.

Do not even talk to me.

Whoa, $1 ,500.

I thought I was only getting $1 ,000.

You're not a good kid. I wouldn't
exactly call it wrestling, but my booze

went through the roof.

You're welcome back any time.

He just robbed a bar.

Oh, well, why don't you go and tell
somebody who gives a crap?

All right.

Back it up. Cut the dead body.

Not like you've never seen one of them
before.

Back it up, ladies and gents.

What happened?

up the crime scene here oh some robber
shot him he's hanging at the warehouse

over there hey do me a favor call the
cop and we're at a donut

I was so selfish that I let this creep
get away.

Now Uncle Phlegm is dead.

Too good?

Fight evil!

He was right,

you know.

With great power does come great
responsibility.

It is cool to stay in school, and you
should kick the dog when you break wind

a room full of people.

From now on I will only use these powers
for good

And to get laid

But mostly for good

and to get laid

So you mean to tell me that a
genetically engineered spider

that we spent millions on has been
crushed to death by a bunch of

snot -nosed brats?

That's the short of it, yeah.

Do you have any idea what that could do
to

our company, huh?

Huh? If we don't show results soon, we
could lose military funding.

How's, um, uh... How's Project
Greenstein coming?

We're at least a year away from anything
significant.

You fucked the arachnid program.

You find a test subject by week's end.

It's too dangerous.

No one in their right mind would
volunteer. Just make...

What, Miss Knox?

Get out of my office.

Send in my overpaid eye candy, will you?

You bet.

You wanted to see me, Miss Knox?

Be a lamb and enjoy it, will you, love?
I need to

alleviate a little tension here.

Darling, you should have made Duell wear
his nuts as a necklace.

I wanted to, believe me.

And you're in there having sex with
Sally when all you've been thinking

that Patricia girl since you met her.

She's Lisa's best friend.

So?

Lisa's a grown girl.

And don't you think she wonders why sis
never dates a man?

Leave me alone.

Leave you alone.

Darling, if I don't make you into the
woman you're supposed to be, who will?

Leave me alone!

You say that now.

But you'll be back.

Begging for my advice.

Look what we've got here, boys.

Sweet meat on bozo terror.

Listen, man.

I'm not looking for trouble, okay?

I'm just trying to get on the subway so
I can go home. That's it, okay?

Hey, that's fine.

You can get on the subway and you can go
home.

After you've entertained the troops, you
know. Hey, listen, listen.

We'll even give you subway fare.

If you play along.

Well, well, well.

I had no idea that the circus was in
town.

Why don't you bozos hop into a tiny car
and leave the lady alone?

Hey, no one tells the bozos what to do
except me, you freaking bitch.

You know, you are really making me long
for this subtle art of mine.

Get her!

Fuck you.

Spider -Babe, you're my hero.

Hero.

How can I repay you?

MJ?

Mark?

Patricia.

Patricia. Wow, you look great.

You cut your hair or something?

Yeah, something.

Uh, what are you doing coming out of
that place?

Oh, I just ducked into Houston bathroom.

Hey, cowboy.

You forgot your props.

You get here an hour early tomorrow.

Old Widow Johnson booked you for the
champagne room.

Don't worry about it, kid. He's gotta do
a double shift tomorrow.

You

work

there?

Yeah. My sports scholarship was
cancelled.

And my parents, well, you know, they're
not much help.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

We're digging ditches, right?

Yeah, I guess.

I gotta go.

Evening, gentlemen.

This boy's off the clock.

Why don't you give him a break?

You're that Spider -Babe character I've
heard about.

That's right, Mark.

Wait, how did you know my name?

Ah, ancient alter ego secret.

Oh, they sure seem like a couple of
rough customers.

No, they're pretty much harmless.

Okay, tough guy, but they could have sat
on your face and suffocated you.

Thanks. I won't get wood now for a week
with that image in my head.

Your wood seems all right to me.

What are you, a superhero or something?

Hey, beats digging ditches.

See you later, sweet stuff.

Thanks for making dinner, Aunt Maybe. It
was good.

Yes. The grocery boy's been slipping in
some extra salami in my delivery.

Not to mention extra zucchini and
bananas, too.

What a sweet boy.

Aunt Mimi, can I borrow your camera?

Sure.

Is it ready?

Everything's prepared.

Wait a minute.

She's not the subject, is she?

She's the confidante.

I'm the subject.

But, Miss Knox, the ramifications.

Listen, you little prick.

You got me into this position, and you
will follow my instructions to a T, or I

will castrate you.

Do well.

Come here.

Miss Knox!

Don't ever call me that again.

Lucinda Knox is weak.

I am Flamtillion, and I'm about to show
the world just how strong I

am.

Call maintenance to clean up Mr.
Dewell's accident.

Pity he fell and broke his neck like
that, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Are you okay?

Can I get you anything?

A drink or something to eat, maybe?

A little cider would be nice.

Come on fellas, Ski Master sold last
year.

If you weren't criminals, the Fashion
Police would arrest you. Fill it full of

lead!

Spider -Baby, you saved my life.

Oh, well, it's the least I could do.

I'm a superhero.

I'm just doing my job.

Gotta go.

Spider -Baby, wait!

Well, shucks.

And then Spider -Babe came out of
nowhere and pushed me out of the way of

bus. And then she said I had a nice ass.

I haven't heard that in a long time.

My name's Sophia. I am from Warburton
Avenue in Yonkers. I'm the photographer,

and I've been looking for Spider -Babe.

I would like to take pictures of her. I
think she's beautiful.

Am I going to be on TV?

Make it fast, kid.

I gotta slip in another headline in an
hour.

The name's Patricia Porka.

I'm J. Joe Fijiman. I don't have time to
shake hands.

Oh, is that right? Well, I think you'll
find time for these.

Your photo's a spider, babe. That's
right.

I'll take them all. A hundred bucks
apiece.

Sold. All right.

All right.

$150 apiece.

Even better.

I'll give you $200 apiece, and that's my
final offer.

You've got a deal.

Stop the press.

We have photos to run with that Spider
-Babe headline.

You're running a Spider -Babe headline?

Yeah.

Spider -Babe.

Pervert vigilante. Worse than the
criminal she busts.

What?

Spider -Babe's done a lot of good for
this city. Kid, with a nut like that

running around, it's only going to
attract more nuts.

Spider -Babe's got to be stopped for the
good of decency.

And if the press won't do it, who will?

When is that damn air conditioner man
coming? I'm sweating to death.

Seriously, dude.

I'm so hot, I'm starting to see dead
relatives.

There's no sense in staying in these
damn clothes.

Yeah, I hear that.

Wow, that was great.

Felt really good.

Gotta ask you something.

Shoot.

So, what does it mean now that we did
this?

What does what mean?

Well, are we lesbians now?

I do still like guys, but I really like
what we just did.

Are we bisexual?

Hey, I'm trisexual.

We're just two really good friends who
made each other feel good.

No more, no less, no labels.

Just two really, really, really good
friends.

newsflash. There's been an explosion in
downtown New York at the Knox

Technologies building.

Lucinda Knox, CEO, was said to be inside
the building.

Oh my god, I gotta get over there. You
go, I'll meet you there.

Your house is in right now, but I'd be
more than happy to assist you.

In your demise.

Pretty nimble.

For a cause.

Are you as strong as you are fast?

Well, you're about to find out,
Chuckles.

I don't know who the hell you are, but
you picked the wrong bitch to mess with.

Bitch.

I'm Pentillion, and I'm going to rid
this sorry city of Thalia and rule this

burg.

Yeah, whatever.

But are we really so different, Spider
-Pede?

I'm just gonna need a minute here.

I'm Jimmy Strong from NYC News.

We're going straight to Miss Knox, who's
outside of Knox Technologies.

I had everything under control, and then
Spider -Babe shows up, and she nearly

had me killed.

What? I just wish that she hadn't shown
up at all.

What is she talking about? She wasn't
even there.

Really? Even if she was.

She could have never survived that
blast.

Something smells fishy.

And I'm going to get to the bottom of
it.

Or in between it.

Seriously, I'm fine.

Wow, Lucinda, I just saw you on
television.

Yeah, that was recorded hours ago.

You okay?

That looked like quite an explosion.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Didn't look like anybody could survive
that blast.

Well, I did.

Really, seriously, you guys, I'm fine.

Where did you go? I thought you were
coming down.

I was there.

Couldn't find you in the crowd.

What happened to your arm?

Oh.

Nothing.

I, uh, I caught some shrapnel from that
explosion.

Huh?

Poor baby.

Is it bad?

It's just a scratch.

I'm stuffed.

Put my head on a mantle.

Yeah, the food was really very good.

Thank you, Miss Knox.

Lucinda. And actually, the food is
better than I can remember.

Must be that whole brush with death
thing.

I hear it can make everything better.

Food.

Sex.

Lisa, why don't you run down to the ice
cream parlor?

I don't know. I'm pretty stuffed.

Nonsense. There's always room for ice
cream.

And it's so hot.

Patricia, aren't you hot?

I can always do with a little dessert.

Okay, fine.

Chocolate all around, if memory serves.

Fine.

Patricia! Dude!

That's my sister!

It wasn't my idea. She was all over me.
You saw what she was doing. I am so

pissed at you right now.

Does this mean we're not having sex
later?

Yes, of course, but I am so pissed at
you right now.

Howdy, cowboy.

Ha ha, enough of the jokes.

Just busting.

So how you been?

Tired. I don't know, but between work
and classes, I haven't slept much.

Hmm, I know the feeling.

Hey, Mark, can I talk to you for a
second?

Yeah, sure, I guess so.

Okay, so Mark, you know, I've had a
crush on you since grade school, and

silly for me to just not come out and
say it, so...

There it is. I want to see you, you
know, more than a friend.

Gee, Patricia, I care for you a lot. A
lot.

Okay, here it comes.

But I kind of have a thing for someone
else.

Wow, I feel like a real jerk.

Okay, so who's the lucky lady?

Spider -Babe?

Spider babe.

I don't know. When she kissed me, it was
magical.

Crazy.

Well, was it anything like this?

No, not at all.

Gee, I have to go, okay? I'm late for
work.

All right, see ya.

Yeah, see ya.

So, the Polka Brat and Spider -Babe.

Um... Yeah, yeah.

Um...

I guess that sort of changes things,
doesn't it? Changes things?

Changes nothing!

Other than the fact our job just got
easier.

We now know Spider -Babe's identity.

We just need a plan.

Hello, Mark.

Hey, Spider -Babe.

You've been thinking about me.

Yeah? How'd you know? Yeah, ancient
alter ego secret.

I've been thinking about you too, Mark.

Really?

Listen, there's something I want to tell
you, but I'm not quite sure how.

I know.

You've been having boy thoughts, and
I've been having spider babe thoughts.

So let's put those thoughts into action.

And have a little bit of fun.

Spider -Babe style.

So, you can do anything you want.

But, the mask stays.

I just need to kiss you again.

So then kiss me.

Okay, you've done what you wanted.

Now it's my turn.

Hello. Sally.

Lucinda Knox's assistant?

You got pictures of Spider -Bane?

How much?

One million?

I don't think I can get that much, but
we should definitely talk.

Where?

Knox Lab.

No.

Okay, go ahead.

Yeah.

Uh -huh.

Okay.

One hour.

You got it. I'll be there.

All right.

Oh.

Pictures are amazing.

How did you get them?

I have my connections.

Apparently so.

But a million bucks?

I don't think I can raise that.

You know, the Bungles only gave you a
half a million dollars.

Really? Yeah.

Well, I guess you better start working
off another half a million right now.

Spider -Babe has done more good for this
city than the fucking mayor.

You listen.

She's cute.

But she's a menace. Bottom line. She has
no authority.

She's not an officer of the law.

What she's doing is wrong and illegal.

Damn, JJJ, you know.

You're pretty cute when you're being pig
-headed.

Hold my calls.

And send some Chinese food to be
delivered in about a half an hour.

I'm gonna work up an appetite on you,
Missy.

So, does that change your position on
Spider -Babe?

No. The only thing that is gonna change
my position about Spider

-Babe...

All right, I'll see what I can do, kid.

Why don't we finish this up in about
five minutes? We got Chinese food

Thank you.

I believe I know this young man.

Looks like Spider -Babe knows him, too.
Quite well.

Indeed.

Mark Jeremy Whitson. Hmm.

Looks as though we have a fly to attract
our spider.

Hmm?

Now all we need is a pla -

Do you have any idea?

Would it help if I stripped for you?

What's my paying you for?

Oh, that help? Oh, we could drop two
melons on... We

could stick a rabid beaver on the...

We could... Oh,

your ass is positively sublime.

Your ass is... Oh, we could assassinate
them, yes.

No, no, no.

Oh, we could drop acid all over them.

We could... We could drop them into a
bottomless pit.

No, no.

Yeah? Take a load off, sweet sheep.

Hey, what have you done to our stud
muffin?

This city is full of freaks.

Spider -Babe doesn't show up soon.
You'll all become acquainted with this

inside and out.

Wow, Fountillion, I've heard of picking
up a guy, but this is ridiculous.

Spider -Babe, please, come help me.

He's going to kill me.

Spider -Babe, just in time.

Leave him alone, flamtillion.

Try picking on somebody your own size.

You do seem an infinitely more worthy
opponent.

Catch me if you can.

Spider -Babe, judgment day is upon

you.

Lucinda Knox.

I knew it.

Yes, it's me.

The sister of your best friend.

But why?

I don't know, really. I had my period
this month, and I guess I

just sort of lost it.

I need help and a good pain relief of a
cramp.

Well, you can get a prescription for
that stuff.

I heard that, yes, indeed.

Please help me.

No. And I won't be okay until Spider
-Man pays for killing my sister.

Okay, so my best friend's sister is dead
because of me.

Police still want me.

Daily Bunghole is still running an anti
-campaign against me.

And I had to bail Aunt Maybe out of jail
on prostitution charges.

Yeah, life is good.

Can't wait for the sequel.