Original subtitles

[RENO] When you told me to run...

you definitely made the right call.

So thanks, I'm lucky you were there to look out for me.

If not for you, I'd be dead now.

You should seriously think about joining

the Defense Force.

♪

[grunts]

Hm.

[KAFKA] Thanks again, Ichikawa.

Seriously, you are a good guy.

So, yeah, I'm gonna give the Defense Force another...

[wings fluttering]

[gasps]

[KAIJU NO. 8 (YOUNG)] Found you.

Kai... Kaiju...

[choking]

Hold on, sir!

[MINA (CHILD)] "It'll be okay.

'Cause even when you're scared,

I'll be right there beside you!"

[laughing]

Kafka, lay off the manga, for real, you nerd!

- [laughing] - Shut up!

Don't tell either of our moms I said that, got it?

You know they'd just go blabbin' it

to the whole neighborhood.

[laughs]

♪

[MINA (CHILD)] Thanks, Kafka.

[gasps]

If we're together, I'll never be afraid.

♪

The Kaiju was sighted inside a hospital.

Everybody there is in danger.

♪

We need to neutralize it quickly.

[MALE EMERGENCY ANNOUNCER 1A] A small-scale Kaiju

has been reported within Yokohama.

I repeat, a small-scale Kaiju

has been reported within Yokohama.

Taxes paid for this annoying alert sound?

You gotta do better, government.

Hurry up and get inside Sho!

Citizens unable to evacuate to a designated shelter...

[WIFE 2A] Turn off the lights.

[MALE EMERGENCY ANNOUNCER 1A] Take all necessary precautions

to keep safe.

[shrieking]

[all shrieking]

We need to show him it's not what it looks like!

Quick, flash him a smile!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Yeah, yeah, a smile!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Hm?

[smiles]

[RENO] That might actually make it worse.

I was right!

[chuckles]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Old timer, you okay?

[thumps]

Hm?

[explosion]

[glass shattering]

[rumbling]

[screaming]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Oh... Oh crap,

I think that might have happened 'cause of me.

I'm a full-on Kaiju for real!

What was that noise?

It sounded like something blew up.

[MALE PATIENT 2C] Whoa, is that a Kaiju?

Sir, he called up the Defense Force!

We need to run!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Right.

Don't want this hospital getting messed up any worse!

♪

We'll go out the window!

[glass shattering]

[groaning]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Well, naturally.

What the hell's going on with this freakazoid body?

- [Female Patient 2A screams] - [both gasp]

[FEMALE NURSE 2A] Call the doctors!

For now, we have to get out of here!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Huh?

Whoa, hang on!

♪

[engine revving]

[HOSHINA] The Kaiju is fleeing

from Yokohama South General Hospital.

It's heading toward an evacuated area.

Hm.

[RENO] What the heck is happening?

Is he a Kaiju? When did that happen?

And how?

Actually... did that happen?

[panting]

Sorry, I'm just making sure,

but... that really is still you in there, right sir?

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Frankly, I don't even know myself,

at this point!

[screams]

Did you switch to some kind of special mode?

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Dude, I have no idea what I did!

[grunts]

[belching]

[squeaks]

[growling]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] You seein' this, Ichikawa?

I'm eatin' a bird alive over here!

[screams]

Respectfully, sir, that's totally disgusting!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] And I'm back.

You even transform nasty!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Oh, this is a problem.

Come on, what is it now?

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] I gotta take a leak real bad.

Hold it in, sir, not a good time!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] I realize that, but I don't think I can!

I'm really trying but my body's not listening!

I don't wanna be a grown man

pissing in the street, Ichikawa.

But I can feel it, it's gonna come out!

[RENO] Come out where?

'Cause I'm looking and the usual place

isn't an option!

♪

[screaming]

[screeching]

[RENO] You okay? [KAFKA (KAIJU)] No.

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Who would take me as a bride now?

Just let me die here!

[RENO] Hey, you've got bigger things than that

to worry about, sir!

So get up, we have to go!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Be real with me, Ichikawa.

Do you think I still have a shot after this?

In the Defense Force?

No, no, no, no, no, absolutely not sir.

If they even caught sight of you looking like that,

they would kill you on the spot!

You're right, they would!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Wait... that means...

♪

[KAFKA] I can never... join the Defense Force ever?

Damn it.

I finally decided I'd try and catch up with her.

How can I do that with this body?

[gasps]

- Over here! - Hm.

It's cordoned off.

Past this barricade, we should be in the clear.

Huh.

What's wrong?

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Something is coming.

- They're here? - No.

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Something underground.

Is this...

♪

[explosion]

[machine beeping]

Another Kaiju?

Car two, maintain current course,

we'll divert to the site of the new disturbance.

♪

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] It's the same type as the one

that attacked us earlier.

So you can sense what type it is?

Either way, some of the officers

hunting you will have to split off.

This is our chance to hide.

They started evacuating the whole area

when the alert went out about you.

Hopefully we can avoid any casualties.

[grunts]

♪

[crying]

Mommy. please hang on!

I'll be okay, you have to run.

I can get you out, Mommy, just wait!

[grunting]

♪

Huh.

[gasps]

[MOTHER 2A] Run away!

I can't, I won't leave without you, mommy!

[growling]

[crying]

[screaming]

Please, sweetie, run away.

[MOTHER 2A] Run away.

Run away.

Run away.

- Please, run away! - No!

Mommy!

Please, run away, run away.

Run away.

[thumping]

[rumbling]

[crying]

Whoa, I'm crazy strong, huh?

- Huh. - [trembling]

- [KAFKA (KAIJU)] You good? - [shrieks]

Right, sorry, completely fair!

Lessee, uh.

- How about a smile? - [screaming]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] I'm so sorry, I'll be gone in a second!

Please don't cry, okay?

[RENO] Sir! [KAFKA (KAIJU)] Oh, hey.

[clattering]

[thudding]

[GIRL 2A] Mommy, wake up!

She's just unconscious, she'll be all right.

- [GIRL 2A] Are you sure? - Yeah.

- Huh. - [thumping]

♪

Get 'em out of here, Ichikawa.

What are you gonna do?

[electricity crackling]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Gonna punch it as hard as I can.

Huh. Let's go!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] One.

[roars]

Two.

♪

Three!

[groans]

[thudding]

♪

- [explodes] - [blood splattering]

[thuds]

♪

[blood dripping]

[blood splattering]

♪

[RENO] Whoa, that, uh...

So that is definitely something you should never do

to a person.

You okay?

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] It's safe now.

Get your mom to a hospital and...

[gasps]

[sighs]

[shrieking]

♪

[grunts]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Listen...

the Defense Force will be here soon,

and I'll go away.

Don't be scared.

[crying]

♪

[GIRL 2A] Mister Kaiju?

[sobbing]

Thanks for helping us.

[gasps]

- [MINA (CHILD)] Thanks, Kafka. - Huh.

If we're together, I'll never be afraid.

Heck yeah, we'll be fine if we're together!

Let's go!

♪

[growling]

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] That's right.

I gotta go.

All right, sir, the ambulance is on its way now.

[RENO] We should get moving before they arrive.

Did you hear me?

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Ichikawa, I'm not giving up.

♪

I gotta keep going and stand by her side!

[wind howling]

[MINA] What happened?

The hell did we miss here?

[growls]

[metal clanging]

Hm.

Can you tell me anything about the Kaiju you saw just now?

The Kaiju I...

[growling]

[crying]

- [MINA] Don't worry. - Huh.

I promise that I'll destroy them all.

[GIRL 2A] Y-you promise?

[gasps]

[sighs]

Huh.

Okay, but what about the good Kaiju?

You're not gonna hurt him, right?

[gasps]

He saved my mommy from the bad Kaiju.

[wind howling]

♪

[MALE NEWSCASTER 2B] Kaiju Number Eight.

This Kaiju, seen three months ago in Yokohama,

is the latest to receive a codename.

The human-sized Kaiju is currently at large,

and the Defense Force's search is still ongoing.

Have they seriously not found him yet?

Right?

I bet he's already dead.

[RENO] This whole thing has gotten way out of hand.

[blabbering]

[RENO] It's been three months, and my coworker is now

the first Kaiju in history to successfully evade

the Defense Force.

Every officer in the country is after his head.

[MIZOGUCHI] Oh, right, Ichikawa!

You and Kafka got some very official-looking mail.

He headed off to the job site early,

so could you take his to him?

[RENO] Sure.

Oh, man, is it already that time again?

Oh, yeah.

Kafka used to go through that exam every year, right?

Every single year.

And every year, we'd have to cheer him up.

[paper rustling]

Oh, cool, looks like you passed.

- Nice, newbie! - Thanks.

This could get awkward, want me to take Kafka's?

Thanks but I don't mind, I can bring it out to him.

[birds chirping]

♪

[gasps]

[panting]

[MIIKE] Looks like he passed, huh?

[YOSHIMURA] This'll be his last chance ever, right?

[TOKU] Yeah, it is, and he deserves to take it, y'know?

Guy's been workin' his butt off for years, and all.

♪

[panting]

♪

Sir, the results have come back.

You made the cut!

- [KAFKA (KAIJU)] Oh, for real? - [shrieks]

Why are you exposing yourself?

[giggles] It's a little early for the rough stuff.

Wake up, do you not know what your face looks like right now?

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] Aw, crap!

Nah, every now and then it still slips out by accident.

Huh. And I'm back.

You are not "back!"

Your face was all over the news earlier!

Letting it slip out is a huge deal!

Jeez, I get it already, quit yelling at me!

[Reno sighs] We barely got back from the scene.

[gasps]

- You two were in that room! - Are both of you okay?

Just barely survived.

[RENO] We told everyone we ran away when the Kaiju showed up.

Thankfully, it seemed like they all bought it.

[sighs]

- Here, your official results. - Huh?

Cool, good way to start off my day.

I think I was expecting a bigger reaction.

Well, the second round is where I always wash out!

Are you proud of that?

Still, what are you planning to do?

Are you really going back for the second round

with your body in that state?

[KAFKA] Yeah dude!

What, you wouldn't trust this face?

Nobody would trust that face!

[RENO] The first round was just essays and paperwork.

Round two, you'll be surrounded by officers.

If you turn, they'll put you down right there.

Either way, I'm going.

[grunts]

[KAFKA] I can't figure out how to turn fully back to normal.

I've spent three months doing my damnedest

and nothing's worked.

I'm 32 years old, this is my last shot.

Nothing's gonna keep me from taking it.

Well, it's your call.

Listen, no matter how things end up

going for you, I plan to stick this out.

Starting today, you and I are rivals, sir.

Hm.

♪

[KAFKA] Open up you stupid cap!

Y'know what, never mind, skip the exam!

[KAFKA (KAIJU)] No, I swear, I've got this, I can handle it!

Sir, let go of me, this is mortifying!

- Please hurry up and turn back! - Don't leave me!

[RENO] If you screw up, I'm not helping you, I mean it!

The rest of the crew will be here shortly.

Get it together already!

[Kafka (Kaiju) sighs] What a relief.

If he'd made the first cut and I hadn't,

it would feel like a knife twisting in my gut

every time he called me "sir."

[thumps]

Hm.

Okay, time for the revenge match.

♪

[engine revving]

[door opens]

♪

Oh, it's massive.

[RENO] So this is the Tachikawa Base, huh?

I went to Kumagaya Base on a field trip one time.

This is way bigger.

They share the facility

with a Japan Self-Defense Force garrison.

[KAFKA] When there's an incident, they coordinate

to dispatch officers all over western Tokyo.

If you screw up and transform here,

you'll be dead in a few seconds at most.

[tires screeching]

♪

No point in wussing out now, here we go!

[grunts]

- [KIKORU] Hey, old man. - We're still a little early,

but we might as well go and get checked in.

- [KIKORU] You hear me, old man? - That's you.

Hm?

♪

[KIKORU] Finally, thank you.

Pay attention to your surroundings, old man.

♪

Huh? Who, me?

[RENO] Is she here for the exam too?

[KAFKA] Huh, huh, huh?

Huh!

Miss, I am only 32, that does not make me old!

It does, too.

Wait, it does?

[gasping]

[RENO] I mean, it's not young.

Your embarrassing rust bucket is in my spot.

Move it.

I need to get parked, so it'd be nice if you could hurry up.

Huh? You've got a few dozen other options!

Yes, but I want that one.

[KIKORU] My lucky number for the day is five.

Ugh!

Lucky number for the day?

Why, you snotty little gremlin, are you kidding me right now?

Get over here!

Even if I'm barely older than you,

I can still teach you some manners!

Fine, suit yourself, I'll move the car.

[gasps]

Dude. In the parking lot?

♪

[KAFKA] Whoa, that suit.

♪

[creaking]

♪

[screaming]

[thudding]

No, God, not the company car!

Who... Who are you?

Examinee number 2016.

Kikoru Shinomiya.

My hobby is killing Kaiju.

Don't you dare forget it.

[RENO] Shinomiya? Then is this girl...

Anyway, old man.

[sniffs]

Is it me...

or do you reek of Kaiju?