Original subtitles

All right, I'm heading out. I'll see you later. Oh, not so fast.

No, no, no.

Where are you going?

Um, out.

Oh, no. See, that's not what we're doing here.

You are having to stay in the house because you can't be trusted.

What's in this backpack, actually?

What is this?

What do we have here?

Do you think I was going to want to stay in here all day? What do we have here?

Oh, yeah? You want to play some beer pong?

Do you want to play with me?

What?

Do you think that I want to play beer pong?

Come on, I wasn't born yesterday. I know what you're doing.

No, you can't go play beer pong with your friends.

I just want to go out for a little bit, please.

No, you have to stay in the house because the last time that you stayed

door at your parents' house, you threw such a razor that the police came to my

house to ask what was going on.

Come on, I'll stay quiet this time. I promised your parents that you would not

leave this house.

And you're certainly not going to fuck this up on my watch.

They trusted me, and I respect your parents as my neighbors.

So, why don't you come here and have a seat, and you can help me with my

miniature house. I'll show you how much fun it is.

Come on. You don't have a game console I can play with?

Nope. No game consoles here. Just the old -fashioned kind of game.

So, what are we doing?

We're adding a tree, or a couple trees, maybe, into my miniature house that I'm

building over here. See?

Really? Really.

Yes, you see? I could really use another couple trees right here.

So this is what we're going to do. You know, when you're older, you're going to

thank me for this, because you're going to be... So much more relaxed in life

than everybody else.

And that's what this is all about.

Relaxation.

Why are you so busy? Just go and fucking party. Gosh. You know, when I'm older,

I'm going to be a professional pyromaniac.

A professional pyromaniac? That's not even a real thing.

Somebody who just lights shit on fire? Come on.

Sounds like you're going to get arrested for that.

Come on. I have my friends waiting for me. They're right next door. I don't

to be doing this all day.

Juan, I said you're not going anywhere.

I want to build a house with you.

Well, I'll tell you what. You can do anything you want. You don't have to do

this with me, but you can do anything you want as long as it's in this house.

Okay?

Anything?

Anything you want.

Anything, anything.

No, I mean everything within this house. Within these walls.

Okay.

I promised your parents that I wouldn't let you get into any trouble and that

you would stay here with me. And that's exactly what's going to happen.

I don't want to have to do this with you. This is boring.

This is old people stuff.

I mean, what are you doing with this?

Well, you know, it helps me relax because I have a very busy life.

Yeah, clearly very busy.

You're just a hater because I'm not letting you do what you want.

Come on.

You know I've had experience with students my whole life, and this is no

different.

So you said anything within the household, right? Anything as long as

this roof.

All right.

You

know,

crafts are really fun. I don't know why you're giving me such a hard time about

this. I just, I don't, like.

Building things. I like destroying things.

Well, I mean, there are times where I build these just to destroy them.

That's why I have the safety goggles and the mallet in the garage.

Can you destroy one later?

I worked really hard on this one, so no.

You can't destroy this one.

But I have a couple others in the closet that if you build it, you can destroy

it. Ooh, I got a good idea.

Let's check it on fire.

You can do that when your parents get home next door.

No fires here. I don't want the fire department coming.

Gosh, that's just what I need. Is the fire department coming and talking

about... Oh, we saw a giant plume of smoke.

Well, at least it'll... It won't... Oh, well, it'll be your house, but not your

house. Yeah, yeah. You see now why I'm not into this.

You're going to miss all the fun that I'm having.

We sure are having a lot of fun.

Okay. As you get older, your priorities shift and things that didn't seem so

exciting before have a whole new connotation.

The little houses.

I love miniatures. What can I say? Everybody has a thing they like. What do

like?

Fire.

Shut it down.

You're almost helpless.

But hey, you know what? At least you stopped complaining.

A little bit.

For the time being.

I really don't want to leave all of these extra pieces, so I always try to

all the greenery up if I can.

It's wasteful plastic, so make sure you use it all up.

Because you know, at my age, you start caring about the environment too, I

guess.

We need young folks these days to understand what it takes.

You know, your parents next door, they're going on a lot of trips, huh?

Yeah, they're always out of town.

You hardly ever get to hang out with them, but I guess college kids your age

don't really care about hanging out with mom and dad, huh?

No, I just want to go out and have fun.

Well, I understand that, but having fun sometimes gets you in more trouble than

it's worth.

And who knows what I'm saving you from today, right?

You might just have a chance to get in trouble today.

It's kind of working out for me.

We always find something fun we can do.

So you're going to have to deal with me with this puzzle.

Ah, and the finishing touch inside there. Oh, perfect.

All right.

It's all done.

It looks really good. See? And I put a little...

Extra little tree in there.

Looks really good. Well, it's time to go take a nap.

A nap?

Yeah. I mean, it's the middle of the day. We need to get some energy for

tonight. And you'll thank me when you're older because taking naps can keep you

nice and regular in your sleep schedule.

So, come on. Let's go.

You really are an old lady.

Hi, Gloria.

Just wanted to let you know that Juan and I are doing great.

And I'm really surprised that he, at his age, doesn't know how to do certain

things around the house.

So I'm going to be showing him some of that kind of stuff later. But just an

update, we had such a great day.

I got him a nice healthy lunch.

And we're just going to continue our afternoon into our evening.

Yeah, so he's been such a great guy.

Yeah, I know you were worried about him staying home.

But it seems like he's doing all right.

And, you know, no partying, nothing crazy.

You know, you're so welcome.

No, I know. Yeah, you know, and that's the thing. He can be a very sweet boy.

But, yeah, sometimes when left to his own devices, he makes the wrong choices.

I totally understand. And you're so welcome.

I'm happy to hang out with him and keep him safe anytime you want.

Yeah, anytime.

Yeah, I agree.

And don't worry, I'll make sure that he stays out of trouble tonight and that

your property stays safe and cop -free.

I know. I know. I remember last time when they came and asked me what was

on. I'm like, the party's next door, guys. Yeah, I'll make sure that nothing

happens next door, your property will be safe, and he'll stay out of trouble. I

mean, we've already had this conversation.

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, I don't know.

The cops came to my house? Yeah.

I remember.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're quite a good boy.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, yeah.

Don't worry. It's all going to be okay.

Mm -hmm.

Okay.

I'm going to come with your mom.

Okay?

Okay.

All right, little girl.

Well, we'll talk later.

Okay, bye.

Come on, so high.

Later, we're gonna make a nice dinner.

Do you know how to grill?

Depends what we're grilling.

Probably some steak.

Ooh, I can make a mean steak. Okay, okay, there's something you know how to

You just got off the phone with your mom telling her that you don't even know

how to do regular house chores, let alone fucking...

I wasn't expecting to be able to cook, that's for sure.

I can wash the dishes.

Oh, yeah? You know how to wash dishes? What about laundry? You know how to do

laundry? I can do laundry.

I know how to wash wipes, too.

Okay, you know how to wash, but do you know how to fold?

Sure do.

Okay, we'll see later.

We'll see.

Use you for that. I mean, teach you. I'll sleep, but I don't know about

Oh, maybe we found something that I can train you in. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm.

Oh, what?

Now, somebody's going to be here in five minutes, but I need you to get the fuck

to your room, okay?

I just got dressed.

Come on.

Go. He's on his way.

Fine.

I'm so glad you're here to help me.

You said you knew how to fold laundry, so I've got to make sure that you know

what you're doing.

I told you I could wash. I didn't say I would fold your clothes. As if.

legs together really nice and straight.

And then you fold it up to the waistband.

And then you're good.

And then bam.

You can see the pocket. You know what kind of pants they are.

Isn't that so much nicer than the way you leave your pants all over the floor?

How do you get the inseams lined up?

You know, that's one of those things that you just gotta practice. You hold

two legs together and just kind of shake them down.

That part always messes with me because I can never get it right.

Well, it takes practice and the only way you can practice is by actually doing

it yourself.

I mean, does that also consist of pulling the clothes out the dryer on

Um, no. You can have wrinkly clothes and they'll still line up.

That, you know, the worst part about folding clothes is putting them away.

That's the part I hate the most.

No, folding it is the difficult part. I can let it sit in the basket all day.

But if you don't fold it, then how do you know what pants you even have

available? Why don't you go digging around?

You unfold everything?

It's so... You young people these days just... I think it's more of a man's

thing. We're just lazy.

Okay, that's fair. I think I'll give you that one.

I would say that of all the people who I've watched Wolf Foundry,

men do it the worst.

You guys are great at balling up your shit into a basket and thinking about it

tomorrow. Yep.

This is exactly why your parents had you come over here.

I think I'm going to get rid of these jeans. They have holes in them.

They look good still.

You think?

Because of the cool kind of holes? You know, sometimes so old.

Yeah, I mean, you can...

Even put more holes by the thigh area, not just the knee area.

Oh, so, like, make them even holier. Yeah.

All right, that's not a bad idea.

Especially for summertime.

Yeah, maybe I could just, like, make him into a jort.

That too.

Oh, my goodness. I can't believe you actually let me wear jorts. That is

ridiculous.

Say no.

You can't disgrace the neighborhood like that.

Well, I mean, with a nice ass like this, I'd say you can wear jorts. Maybe you

should wear some jorts.

Ah, you keep me young.

So many different ways to fold. I think I've folded every pair differently.

Oh man, folding water takes so long.

But by the time you're done though, it always feels so good to have a nice

stack of jeans.

Finally, getting somewhere.

You know what?

Let me just fold all this stuff up.

It's really important to fold shirts with the collar folded up.

See,

I'll fold it right here on your chest.

Perfect. Just like that. You see?

Nice and packaged together.

It's like a strip from the store.

A strip from the store.

And you know, the cleaner your closet looks, the more likely you are to wear

clothes that you have in there.

You know what? That is true.

Plus, if you wear the clothes you have, then you're unlikely to waste money

buying new clothes.

It's always good to have new clothes.

I agree.

It's good to have new clothes, but sometimes you've got to save the money

spend it.

So I need to struggle at off -brand stores.

Or clearance stores.

Okay, okay. So maybe you have some things to teach me here.

Or thrifting.

Oh, what's the coolest thing you've ever thrifted?

jerseys, actually. Oh, that's a good idea.

And snapbacks. Old snapbacks. Oh, okay. A collection.

And shoes.

I'd be really surprised how many shoes you find from the early 90s and people

buy them. Oh, look at you. Early 90s.

Who's old now?

But it's really important to fold things because it's probably just makes... And

when your mental health is in order, the rest of you can be in order.

And when you speak a bunch of mess, there's no way your mental health is in

order.

I

do

like the way you repurposed my jeans, though.

Turn them into jorts.

Now I'm kind of feeling like I have to. I've got to see if I can find another

pair.

Because I really like that wash.

The light blue denim is really important.

Thrifting. Telling you thrifting.

You know what? You're totally right.

Yeah, I'm going to go thrift a pair.

Such a good, smart neighbor.

into this.

Get a little seam ripper.

Cut them off.

You know, I have a sewing machine. That's another one of my hobbies, but

probably guess that.

Wait, so if you keep them as jeans, you can even do little slits underneath the

butt cheeks.

Ooh, good idea. I mean, I'm not trying to show my butt like that.

That's inappropriate.

I'm a woman of a certain age. It's inappropriate to be walking around the

neighborhood in short shorts.

Are you afraid your neighbor's husband's gonna...

Check you out? Yeah, your dad? Yeah, actually I am.

Like father, like son, I imagine.

Didn't get everything from my mom.

things today, but I don't think khakis my color.

Yeah, I had a pair of khakis and they don't fit me.

Oh.

Well, maybe you need to get to the gym, huh?

What are you trying to say?

I mean, if they don't fit.

Oh, you seem to fold the easiest.

And sometimes changing out buttons changes the outfit too.

I've changed some buttons in some button -up shirts.

Gives it a whole new look.

over here, actually.

Do you know when your parents are supposed to be home?

Um, later tonight, I think. Oh, okay.

Well,

I thought they'd be home, like, probably one more night, but I guess they said,

yeah, you're right.

I don't know what I'm thinking.

All that puzzling.

I guess my brain puzzled, I guess.

Sometimes it's good, though.

was really bugging me.

Is that all your laundry?

Oh, just the pants.

You know me, I have so many clothes that sometimes I have to do them all in like

sections, like tops and bottoms and skirts.

You've got a pair of pants behind you that might be folded.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, so good of you to see that. I would have been so mad putting all of them

away except for one.

I love the smell of clean laundry.

It makes me so happy knowing everything is so pristine, clean, and ready to go.

The best part is getting to fold all my bra and panty sets and go on hangers.

They look so cute.

Oh, fuck, yes, I'm gonna cum.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

Oh, fuck.

See you later.

It was so much fun hanging out with you.

It was great.

You can feel free to come back and hang out anytime you want.

Can I come and do my laundry tomorrow?

Sure, yeah. We could have a laundry party. I'd love it.

You'll show me more about those end scenes, right? Of course.

Okay, bye, sweetie.

Bye.