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1
00:00:11,310 --> 00:00:13,551
We're on the verge
of a breakthrough!
2
00:00:13,655 --> 00:00:15,447
Once you flip that switch,
3
00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:18,517
we'll take my theory of
transference to its logical end
4
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:21,689
and transfer my consciousness
into another man's body!
5
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:25,103
Dr. Freud, please!
This could kill us.
6
00:00:25,206 --> 00:00:26,931
And I want to see
who wins World War II.
7
00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:30,619
Nonsense. Once I've assumed
my new muscle-bound form,
8
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,827
I will get my revenge
on this cruel world.
9
00:00:32,965 --> 00:00:34,654
You're overloading
the power grid!
10
00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:37,482
Stop catastrophizing
and hit the switch.
11
00:00:39,103 --> 00:00:41,310
This is too much!
12
00:00:41,413 --> 00:00:44,310
The castle can't take it.
We're done for!
13
00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:49,379
It's working, Fritz.
It's working!
14
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,102
Really? Wow.
I thought you were mad,
15
00:00:51,103 --> 00:00:53,206
but I'm actually starting
to get on...
16
00:00:57,241 --> 00:01:02,517
No...!
17
00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:42,034
Wow. The four of us have had
the wildest days of our lives.
18
00:01:42,137 --> 00:01:43,655
Rip is gonna flip
when he sees us.
19
00:01:43,758 --> 00:01:45,862
Hey, guys, you won't believe
what just happened to me.
20
00:01:45,965 --> 00:01:47,517
I thought I had lost my phone,
21
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,448
and then I realized
it was in my pocket.
22
00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:50,896
You can't write this stuff!
23
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,000
Although it would
make a good screenplay.
24
00:01:53,103 --> 00:01:54,758
I better get this down
while it's fresh.
25
00:01:54,862 --> 00:01:56,896
Audi five thoudie!
♪ Boopy-doop, ba-doop do-do. ♪
26
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,378
Unbelievable.
27
00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:00,068
We've clearly all had
crazy things happen to us,
28
00:02:00,206 --> 00:02:01,724
and he didn't even ask.
29
00:02:01,827 --> 00:02:03,067
Yup, that's Rip for you.
30
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:04,412
He mostly just likes
talking about himself.
31
00:02:04,413 --> 00:02:06,344
Well, I'm going
to say something to him.
32
00:02:06,448 --> 00:02:07,827
I don't know if anyone was about
33
00:02:07,931 --> 00:02:09,137
to say something to me,
but there's no time!
34
00:02:09,275 --> 00:02:12,275
We just got hired
for a new job in Austria!
35
00:02:14,103 --> 00:02:18,172
The Couch Museum has hired us
to find Sigmund Freud's couch.
36
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:19,862
I thought that was already
at the Freud Museum.
37
00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,344
No, that's a forgery, created
38
00:02:21,448 --> 00:02:22,827
by the museum
to boost ticket sales.
39
00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:24,862
Now then,
this is Freud's Castle.
40
00:02:24,965 --> 00:02:26,448
Destroyed in 1939,
41
00:02:26,551 --> 00:02:28,482
it was the last known location
of Freud's couch.
42
00:02:28,586 --> 00:02:30,965
And now built atop its ruins
is the Alpine Institute,
43
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,034
a world-renowned
mental health facility,
44
00:02:33,137 --> 00:02:34,758
founded by Dr. Sandra Null.
45
00:02:34,862 --> 00:02:36,758
Wow, she's a legend!
46
00:02:36,862 --> 00:02:38,310
They say that if she had
treated Ozzy Osbourne,
47
00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,310
his song "Crazy Train"
would have been called
48
00:02:40,448 --> 00:02:41,758
"Neurotypical Locomotive."
49
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,102
That may be,
but I think we can all agree
50
00:02:44,103 --> 00:02:46,482
that psychiatry is
the industry of death.
51
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:48,274
Well... -Uh, not quite...
52
00:02:48,275 --> 00:02:50,723
I believe the couch is buried
somewhere beneath the institute.
53
00:02:50,724 --> 00:02:52,586
So we're going undercover
as patients,
54
00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:54,585
thanks to these forged documents
that Agatha whipped up
55
00:02:54,586 --> 00:02:56,379
using her advanced
Photoshop skills.
56
00:02:56,482 --> 00:02:58,965
Wait, there's four of these.
Agatha, you're coming, too?
57
00:02:59,068 --> 00:03:00,655
Yup. You're gonna have
to move that couch,
58
00:03:00,758 --> 00:03:02,964
and Saltine won't be any help
with her broken wrist.
59
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,827
Saltine has a broken wrist?!
60
00:03:04,931 --> 00:03:07,206
Yes, Rip, she fell into a pit.
61
00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,862
There's a huge cast on her arm.
62
00:03:08,965 --> 00:03:10,758
- Is there?
- But don't worry.
63
00:03:10,896 --> 00:03:13,724
My injury inspired me to come up
with my latest cool invention:
64
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,172
a watch that beeps
when you're near a hole.
65
00:03:15,275 --> 00:03:17,068
Why is it beeping now?
66
00:03:17,206 --> 00:03:20,172
'Cause it's below my waist.
I'm still working out the kinks.
67
00:03:23,344 --> 00:03:25,034
Hi. We're here to be admitted.
68
00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:26,448
We're out of our gourds.
69
00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:28,068
These documents
are clearly forged.
70
00:03:28,172 --> 00:03:29,551
There's no way
I'm letting you in.
71
00:03:29,655 --> 00:03:31,724
The hell?! These look like shit!
72
00:03:31,862 --> 00:03:34,034
Agatha, you said
you were a Photoshop expert!
73
00:03:34,137 --> 00:03:35,448
I was capping.
74
00:03:35,551 --> 00:03:37,517
Fine. Eff it. How about a bribe?
75
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,551
Wa-wa-woo! All right,
you're admitted, and I quit.
76
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,413
I'm off to travel the world.
77
00:03:42,551 --> 00:03:46,000
I may have over-bribed.
78
00:03:49,586 --> 00:03:51,000
Guys, look.
79
00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:52,896
All of the doctors
and orderlies have key cards.
80
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,241
If we create a distraction,
81
00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:56,000
I can snag one,
and we can explore.
82
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,413
Hello, everyone. I'm Dr. Null.
83
00:03:58,517 --> 00:04:00,034
I see we have some new patients.
84
00:04:00,137 --> 00:04:03,033
We are going to do some
group therapy, so grab a seat.
85
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,896
Look, I've seen
Good Will Hunting.
86
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,620
You're gonna try to win me over
by saying your wife farted.
87
00:04:07,758 --> 00:04:09,275
Well, that ain't
gonna work, Jack!
88
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:12,310
My goodness. If it isn't
the world-famous Rip Digman.
89
00:04:12,413 --> 00:04:14,067
I didn't realize
you were being admitted,
90
00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,413
though I can't say
I'm surprised.
91
00:04:15,517 --> 00:04:17,137
I've followed your neuroses
for years.
92
00:04:17,275 --> 00:04:19,620
You don't know
the first thing about me.
93
00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:21,655
Oh, but I do.
You're a paranoid narcissist
94
00:04:21,793 --> 00:04:23,205
who is haunted by grief
and motivated
95
00:04:23,206 --> 00:04:25,068
by a pathological desire
for others to love you,
96
00:04:25,172 --> 00:04:27,275
despite the fact that you are
incapable of loving yourself.
97
00:04:27,413 --> 00:04:29,067
And you hide
all of your insecurities
98
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,137
behind inscrutable
old-timey language.
99
00:04:31,241 --> 00:04:32,931
What?!
That's Flemington confetti!
100
00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:34,724
No, it's not
Flemington confetti.
101
00:04:34,827 --> 00:04:36,275
Now then, please have a seat.
102
00:04:36,379 --> 00:04:39,551
I will, but only 'cause my legs,
ass and penis are tired.
103
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,205
Not because you asked.
104
00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:43,724
And I'm gonna sit backwards
in this chair.
105
00:04:43,827 --> 00:04:45,827
- Turn your chair around.
- Okay.
106
00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:48,310
So we'll go around
in the circle and check in.
107
00:04:48,448 --> 00:04:51,586
Just a relaxed,
friendly conversation.
108
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,550
The lobotomies happen later.
109
00:04:53,551 --> 00:04:54,724
Very good.
110
00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:57,310
Lobotomy joke absolutely slayed.
111
00:04:57,448 --> 00:04:59,586
You, Saltine,
why don't you go first.
112
00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,137
How are you feeling?
113
00:05:01,241 --> 00:05:02,655
You really want to know
how I'm feeling?
114
00:05:02,793 --> 00:05:04,034
Oh, my goggles.
115
00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:05,930
You seem surprised. Why is that?
116
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,481
A second question?
117
00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:10,034
Sorry, I'm not used
to being asked about myself.
118
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:11,551
Rip hasn't done that in ages.
119
00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:12,931
And how does that make you feel?
120
00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:15,827
Another Q for the Salt Queen?
121
00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:17,862
Ga-ga-ga-goyng, I'm in heaven!
122
00:05:17,965 --> 00:05:20,344
And to answer said question,
it makes me feel
123
00:05:20,482 --> 00:05:22,274
- like Rip doesn't care.
- The heck?
124
00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:23,964
Rip, it seems like asking people
125
00:05:23,965 --> 00:05:25,827
about themselves
might be a hurdle for you.
126
00:05:25,965 --> 00:05:28,000
Uh, no.
I just actively don't care
127
00:05:28,103 --> 00:05:29,689
to know about them
and their lives.
128
00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:31,000
What's the big whoop?
129
00:05:31,137 --> 00:05:32,413
Why don't you try it anyway,
130
00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:34,481
right here
in this safe environment?
131
00:05:34,482 --> 00:05:37,689
I mean, I really don't want to,
so this is under protest,
132
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:39,482
but fine, I'll give it a shot.
133
00:05:39,586 --> 00:05:43,517
So, Saltine, um, how... are...
134
00:05:46,551 --> 00:05:47,931
I can't do it, Doc!
135
00:05:48,034 --> 00:05:49,620
Goddamn it,
why'd you make me try that?
136
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,068
Now I'm freaking out!
137
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:56,000
I can fix him.
138
00:05:57,172 --> 00:06:00,034
Oh, Saltine!
139
00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:02,793
Time to find the couch!
I know I should be more quiet,
140
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,896
but I'm just so amped
'cause my plan worked!
141
00:06:07,413 --> 00:06:09,482
By the way, Saltine,
that was a really good
142
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,999
fake story earlier about
how I never ask you questions.
143
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,413
Rip, it wasn't fake.
144
00:06:13,517 --> 00:06:15,516
I wasn't gonna
bring this up during a job,
145
00:06:15,517 --> 00:06:17,758
but you pretty much never
ask us about ourselves.
146
00:06:17,896 --> 00:06:19,965
- It's inconsiderate.
- What? That's flapdoodle!
147
00:06:20,068 --> 00:06:21,413
Right, Agatha and Swooper?
148
00:06:21,551 --> 00:06:22,793
- Um...
- Well...
149
00:06:22,896 --> 00:06:24,379
Wow. So the truth comes out.
150
00:06:24,482 --> 00:06:26,516
Well, guess what, guys.
I'm your boss,
151
00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,241
not a Mr. Nice Guy contestant.
152
00:06:28,379 --> 00:06:30,620
Well, if you ever asked us
about ourselves,
153
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,586
you'd know I won the Mr. Nice
Guy contest two days ago!
154
00:06:33,689 --> 00:06:36,586
I didn't know that!
Congratulations! Well-deserved!
155
00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:38,413
Thank you!
I mean it from deep in my heart!
156
00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:40,343
- Stop yelling!
- What? You're yelling, too.
157
00:06:40,344 --> 00:06:42,586
Just 'cause you're whispering
doesn't make it not loud!
158
00:06:42,689 --> 00:06:44,343
I got to agree with Rip here.
159
00:06:44,344 --> 00:06:46,516
What? I can't hear you,
Agatha, you hoarse, old bag!
160
00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:47,793
- Hey! -Not cool!
- Too far, Rip!
161
00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:49,448
Fine, fine.
You guys can keep talking
162
00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:53,482
about what a jerk I am while
Fleety and I do our actual jobs.
163
00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:57,241
Audi five thoudie!
164
00:06:59,206 --> 00:07:02,517
Geez. I've never seen
so much mental hospital rubble
165
00:07:02,620 --> 00:07:04,000
in my entire life.
166
00:07:04,103 --> 00:07:06,206
All right, Fleety, hop to it!
167
00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:09,172
Das boot?
168
00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:11,826
Hey,
there's upholstery under here!
169
00:07:11,827 --> 00:07:13,931
I think I found Freud's couch!
170
00:07:16,448 --> 00:07:18,481
What the frog?
171
00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:28,689
Mein Gott!
172
00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:31,482
That, to me, is wild!
173
00:07:34,931 --> 00:07:36,172
The hell? The couch is alive?
174
00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:42,655
Rip! Over here!
175
00:07:49,862 --> 00:07:51,413
Watch out!
176
00:07:52,448 --> 00:07:53,655
What the hell are you doing?!
177
00:07:53,793 --> 00:07:55,620
That was our only way
out of here!
178
00:07:55,724 --> 00:07:56,964
Now we're trapped here
with that thing!
179
00:07:56,965 --> 00:07:59,482
Exactly. We can't let it
loose into society.
180
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:00,965
It would do harm.
181
00:08:01,068 --> 00:08:03,205
And as a doctor,
you must do no harm.
182
00:08:03,206 --> 00:08:06,033
- You know your shit.
- Oh, open your eyes, you fool.
183
00:08:06,034 --> 00:08:08,241
Trapping us here
is gonna harm me,
184
00:08:08,344 --> 00:08:09,896
one of the top dudes around.
185
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,379
Interesting.
In a time of crisis,
186
00:08:11,482 --> 00:08:12,793
you think only about yourself.
187
00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,241
I don't only think about myself.
188
00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:15,586
For instance, right now,
189
00:08:15,689 --> 00:08:17,275
I'm thinking about
how much I loathe you.
190
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,758
So you've already made
a breakthrough?
191
00:08:18,862 --> 00:08:20,413
Sounds like
congratulations are in order.
192
00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:21,827
Sure. Congratulations.
193
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:23,758
You just signed
our death certificates!
194
00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:25,517
Good thing I'm a doctor.
That's part of the job.
195
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:28,448
Well, I'd love to give you
another job. A hand job!
196
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,137
That's right.
I want to shove you.
197
00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:31,758
We got to get out of here!
198
00:08:31,862 --> 00:08:33,482
Follow me!
199
00:08:33,586 --> 00:08:34,896
There.
200
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,448
We're barricaded in.
This should be a safe place
201
00:08:36,551 --> 00:08:38,068
to hide from
whatever that thing is.
202
00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:40,689
It's Dr. Freud's old couch.
It was buried down here.
203
00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:42,655
Really? I knew this was the site
of Freud's old castle,
204
00:08:42,758 --> 00:08:44,378
but I foolishly assumed
205
00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:46,826
there wasn't a living furniture
monster alive in the rubble.
206
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,275
Well, I got news for you, Doc.
207
00:08:48,413 --> 00:08:50,448
It's the real reason
why we're here.
208
00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:52,689
We're on an undercover
Arky mission.
209
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,517
We're not really
mental patients.
210
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,758
Yup, we're all completely sane.
211
00:08:56,896 --> 00:08:58,861
Wonderfully, funderfully sane.
212
00:08:58,862 --> 00:09:00,344
Uh-huh.
213
00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:02,689
You guys seem about
as regular as my period,
214
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,689
Which is about
every 60-something days.
215
00:09:07,448 --> 00:09:09,067
Tepid response to period joke.
216
00:09:09,068 --> 00:09:10,344
Must workshop it.
217
00:09:10,448 --> 00:09:12,000
Guys, check it out!
218
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,655
I found Sigmund Freud's journal!
219
00:09:13,758 --> 00:09:16,275
His last entry says,
"Mankind is despicable.
220
00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,067
"And I shall make them pay
for what they've done
221
00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:21,205
once I transfer my consciousness
into that hulking corpse"?
222
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,137
Why was Freud
so angry at mankind?
223
00:09:25,275 --> 00:09:26,758
He was a respected doctor.
224
00:09:26,862 --> 00:09:28,240
The castle must have collapsed
225
00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:30,103
mid-experiment,
and Freud accidentally
226
00:09:30,206 --> 00:09:31,931
transferred his consciousness
into the couch instead.
227
00:09:32,034 --> 00:09:34,068
Nein! Not the couch! The hunk!
228
00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:35,793
I want to be the hunk!
229
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:42,551
Is that scientifically possible?
230
00:09:42,655 --> 00:09:44,655
Hold on. Let me check the notes.
231
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,172
Yes.
232
00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:53,034
So Freud's soul is couched
in his sofa?
233
00:09:53,137 --> 00:09:55,482
This find is gonna get me
on the Arky Rankings for sure.
234
00:09:55,586 --> 00:09:57,620
So you're not interested
in Freud's couch
235
00:09:57,724 --> 00:09:59,310
because of
its historical significance
236
00:09:59,413 --> 00:10:01,379
but because finding it
would feed your ego.
237
00:10:01,482 --> 00:10:03,137
Hey, what are you
writing in there?
238
00:10:03,241 --> 00:10:05,310
Oh, you're not gonna tell me?
Well, two can play that game.
239
00:10:05,413 --> 00:10:08,310
- Yes.
- Wow. This is upsetting.
240
00:10:08,413 --> 00:10:10,206
Why? 'Cause I didn't get
Garf's stripes right?
241
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,757
They're deceptively tricky.
242
00:10:11,758 --> 00:10:15,137
Focus up. To capture this couch,
we need to lure it out.
243
00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:18,344
Well, Freud believes that sex
motivates all human behavior.
244
00:10:18,482 --> 00:10:21,067
So we can lure it out by
appealing to Freud's sex drive.
245
00:10:21,068 --> 00:10:22,448
But who here is Freud's type?
246
00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:24,034
I recently had a glow up.
247
00:10:24,137 --> 00:10:25,862
Doctors are pretty obsessed
with me.
248
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,793
Always calling me,
leaving me urgent voicemails.
249
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:32,482
"You're gonna die, Swooper.
You have gas in your veins!"
250
00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:34,862
Let's face it.
He's a doctor. I'm a doctor.
251
00:10:34,965 --> 00:10:37,310
Plus, I'm cool.
I'm a certified hang glider.
252
00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:39,137
Hang gliding's
not cool.
253
00:10:39,241 --> 00:10:41,862
Spoken like a man who's never
specked out due to ridge lift.
254
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:44,517
Look, we're all
frigging smokeshows,
255
00:10:44,655 --> 00:10:46,034
but now that Freud's a couch,
256
00:10:46,137 --> 00:10:47,965
wouldn't he be attracted
to furniture?
257
00:10:48,068 --> 00:10:49,448
My God, the loud guy's right.
258
00:10:49,551 --> 00:10:52,137
There's a store room
with extra couches upstairs.
259
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:54,517
Agatha and Swooper,
you're on couch duty with me.
260
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,655
You two, stand guard, but you're
not allowed to talk about me.
261
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:01,206
He said, knowing full well
they're gonna dish.
262
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:04,034
Man, they got
a buttload of couches here.
263
00:11:04,137 --> 00:11:07,241
Anyway, stay frosty.
That thing could be anywhere.
264
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,206
Check it out.
265
00:11:11,344 --> 00:11:16,343
Stiletto legs,
red upholstery, massive pillows.
266
00:11:16,344 --> 00:11:18,344
Yeah, I'd fuck this couch.
267
00:11:18,448 --> 00:11:20,965
Agatha, you're being weird,
but I don't disagree.
268
00:11:21,068 --> 00:11:23,586
Let's grab it.
269
00:11:23,689 --> 00:11:25,862
Psst.
270
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,689
Agatha, go!
271
00:11:30,793 --> 00:11:33,206
I'll handle the couch.
272
00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:35,481
Ow, ow!
273
00:11:35,482 --> 00:11:39,241
Tell Cornelia I died this way!
Spare no detail!
274
00:11:39,344 --> 00:11:40,862
Oh! Just go!
275
00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:42,413
Where's Swooper?
276
00:11:42,551 --> 00:11:44,136
He's dead!
And you'll be next
277
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,448
if we don't get out of here!
278
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:47,034
- What?
- Just go! Bottle up your grief
279
00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:49,689
and never let it out.
Let it become generational.
280
00:11:49,827 --> 00:11:50,827
That's horrible advice.
281
00:11:50,931 --> 00:11:54,517
Tell that to my many forebears!
282
00:11:55,862 --> 00:11:57,827
Okay, sexy couch is in position.
283
00:11:57,931 --> 00:12:00,965
Hey, Rip, are you thinking
about Swooper?
284
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,206
Yeah, I am.
I know this sounds crazy,
285
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,758
but I wish he had never been
killed by a man-eating couch.
286
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,482
That doesn't sound crazy.
287
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:09,620
Why don't you leave that sort
of analysis to the experts.
288
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:10,931
Some expert.
289
00:12:11,068 --> 00:12:13,240
Your great sex drive plan
got Swooper killed!
290
00:12:13,241 --> 00:12:15,758
What's next?
We get Agatha disemboweled?
291
00:12:15,862 --> 00:12:17,516
Stop screaming!
You're gonna attract...
292
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:19,310
Agatha!
293
00:12:19,413 --> 00:12:21,033
Saltine, hurry.
294
00:12:21,034 --> 00:12:22,861
Commit Seppuku
so you can preserve your honor.
295
00:12:22,862 --> 00:12:24,241
I don't have a katana, Rip.
296
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,517
I can't die a samurai's death.
297
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,862
No!
298
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:30,827
My hang glider!
299
00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,655
It's specking out
due to ridge lift!
300
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:36,275
Son of a bitch stole my rig.
Now it's personal.
301
00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:37,620
Now it's personal?
302
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,482
It just ate
my three best friends.
303
00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:41,586
Who you never ask
how they're doing.
304
00:12:44,793 --> 00:12:47,379
Willkommen to the
Sound of Music locations tour.
305
00:12:47,482 --> 00:12:50,689
This is the very spot where
the main lady danced around--
306
00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:52,551
Oh, my God!
307
00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:54,896
I love working
at the sausage factory.
308
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,033
Can't believe I have
only one day until retirement.
309
00:12:58,034 --> 00:12:59,793
Oh, God!
310
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:02,136
Oh, it brings
the orphans such joy
311
00:13:02,137 --> 00:13:03,586
when they get to play
with the puppies.
312
00:13:03,689 --> 00:13:05,274
I hope no other tragedies
befall them.
313
00:13:05,275 --> 00:13:07,931
Oh, my God! Sigmund Freud's
couch has come to life,
314
00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:10,068
and is rampaging
across Vienna, Austria.
315
00:13:10,172 --> 00:13:12,655
Oh, no. Good thing
we're in Vienna, Virginia,
316
00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:13,758
where we're safe.
317
00:13:13,862 --> 00:13:15,585
Yes, good thing indeed.
318
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:20,344
Thanks again for
Free-Solo-ing me on your back
319
00:13:20,482 --> 00:13:21,619
out of the institute, Doc.
320
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,241
You have mad
upper-body strength.
321
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,619
Of course. -Man, these
Austrian pastries are divine.
322
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:27,344
They're really helping
distract me from the fact
323
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:28,827
that all of my friends
just died.
324
00:13:28,931 --> 00:13:30,586
Mmm. Mouthgasm.
325
00:13:30,689 --> 00:13:32,034
Now, we need to come up
with a plan
326
00:13:32,137 --> 00:13:33,793
to stop Freud's
murderous rampage.
327
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,447
Well, as much I wanted
to put that couch in a museum,
328
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:37,965
it's clearly too dangerous.
329
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:39,827
We got to blow it--
and I don't say this lightly--
330
00:13:39,931 --> 00:13:41,241
to smithereens.
331
00:13:41,344 --> 00:13:43,344
I just feel like,
if we could get to the core
332
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:46,551
of why Freud's doing this,
we could get him to stop.
333
00:13:46,655 --> 00:13:48,275
I feel like I'm at a duck pond,
334
00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:50,000
what with all this
typical quack talk.
335
00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:52,206
It's like I'm watching
an episode of DuckTales.
336
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:53,757
They don't quack in DuckTales.
337
00:13:53,758 --> 00:13:55,965
Aw, damn it,
my TV speaker's broken.
338
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:57,517
What about Succession?
339
00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,344
Are they not quacking
at each other on that? -No.
340
00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:01,171
What kind of speaker
are you using?
341
00:14:01,172 --> 00:14:03,034
Bo's. Well, it doesn't
belong to Bo anymore.
342
00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:04,033
I bought it from him.
343
00:14:04,034 --> 00:14:05,550
So now I guess it's Rip's.
344
00:14:05,551 --> 00:14:08,034
But I think the brand
is Yamaha. -Ugh.
345
00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:09,620
I'm just saying,
this type of behavior
346
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,103
is clearly a cry for help.
347
00:14:11,206 --> 00:14:12,758
It would be a travesty
to destroy this thing
348
00:14:12,896 --> 00:14:14,551
without first trying
to understand it.
349
00:14:14,655 --> 00:14:16,206
That ship sailed
when it devoured my team.
350
00:14:16,310 --> 00:14:17,482
Oh, my God.
351
00:14:17,586 --> 00:14:19,413
On the TV. Dr. Freud
is at the amusement park.
352
00:14:19,517 --> 00:14:21,205
Hilf mir!
353
00:14:21,206 --> 00:14:24,034
You still want to take the time
to rehabilitate this thing?
354
00:14:24,137 --> 00:14:26,310
Or should we go blow it to hell?
355
00:14:26,413 --> 00:14:27,862
The latter.
356
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:31,793
Hello?
357
00:14:32,586 --> 00:14:33,861
Michelle, is that you?
358
00:14:33,862 --> 00:14:36,103
No, it's me, Saltine.
Who's Michelle?
359
00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:37,310
She's just a friend.
360
00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:38,758
You sounded like her
for a second,
361
00:14:38,862 --> 00:14:40,206
but I guess it makes sense
that it's you
362
00:14:40,310 --> 00:14:42,171
since we got swallowed
at the same time.
363
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,827
- Where are we?
- The couch ate us.
364
00:14:43,931 --> 00:14:45,516
- Now we're in heaven.
- No, we're not.
365
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,827
What? But I forsook sin.
366
00:14:47,931 --> 00:14:49,172
I saw heaven once
367
00:14:49,275 --> 00:14:51,033
when I flew really high
in my aeroplane.
368
00:14:51,034 --> 00:14:52,688
It looks way different
from this.
369
00:14:52,689 --> 00:14:54,550
It's mostly black,
and it's really hard to breathe.
370
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:55,551
What was that?
371
00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:56,862
It was my cool invention,
372
00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:59,310
which I'm now calling
the Hole Hound.
373
00:14:59,413 --> 00:15:01,413
If it's beeping,
there's must be a hole nearby.
374
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:02,413
I'm gonna go look for it.
375
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:04,000
Are you sure it's not just
376
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:05,412
picking up any of our holes?
377
00:15:05,413 --> 00:15:07,344
No! I changed the settings!
378
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:10,482
Woo-hoo!
379
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:12,793
These hang gliders
friggin' shred!
380
00:15:12,931 --> 00:15:14,655
Not to mention
the adrenaline hit
381
00:15:14,758 --> 00:15:17,344
I'm still getting off stealing
them from those guys we killed.
382
00:15:17,448 --> 00:15:19,310
Okay,
I'll distract Freud.
383
00:15:19,413 --> 00:15:20,482
You get the kids.
384
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,172
You'll have to do
better than that.
385
00:15:24,275 --> 00:15:25,965
Rip, I've got the children.
386
00:15:26,068 --> 00:15:27,517
Great. Are any of them
traumatized?
387
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:30,517
Not yet. We made it
with ten seconds to spare.
388
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:34,034
Okay. You get them out of there.
I'll blow Dr. Freud sky-high.
389
00:15:34,137 --> 00:15:35,550
Hyah!
390
00:15:35,551 --> 00:15:38,172
Prepare to perish,
391
00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:41,655
Sigmund Freud's consciousness
put into a giant couch monster.
392
00:15:41,793 --> 00:15:42,793
Rip, don't!
393
00:15:42,931 --> 00:15:43,965
We're still alive in here.
394
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,137
Don't blow us up!
395
00:15:46,241 --> 00:15:48,482
Oh, my...
396
00:15:51,275 --> 00:15:53,586
Oh, no, you don't.
397
00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:56,517
Sandra!
398
00:15:57,275 --> 00:16:00,000
- I love you.
- You're projecting.
399
00:16:00,137 --> 00:16:03,206
If I kill this monster,
I also kill my friends?
400
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:06,620
Could this catch be any more 22?
401
00:16:11,689 --> 00:16:12,862
What am I gonna do?
402
00:16:12,965 --> 00:16:14,481
Damn it! I can't do it.
403
00:16:14,482 --> 00:16:15,620
Damn.
404
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,793
I wish Dr. Null was still here.
405
00:16:16,896 --> 00:16:17,931
She'd know what to do.
406
00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:19,896
Wait, what was it
she said earlier?
407
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,137
If we could get to the
core of why Freud's doing this,
408
00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:24,516
we could get him to stop.
409
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,206
That's it! I'm so glad
I can remember it
410
00:16:26,344 --> 00:16:27,448
exactly as it was said.
411
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:29,724
Dr. Freud, before you kill me,
412
00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:33,482
I have something
I want to ask you.
413
00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:36,551
How-- come on, Rip,
you can do this--
414
00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:40,413
how... are you...
415
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,724
...feeling?
416
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:47,481
You're... You're asking... me?
417
00:16:47,482 --> 00:16:50,516
Whoa. You talk?
I-I mean, yes, I am.
418
00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:53,379
No one has ever asked me
about myself before.
419
00:16:53,517 --> 00:16:55,655
That's why you lost
your marbles, isn't it?
420
00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:58,241
Because you spent decades asking
everybody else about themselves,
421
00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:00,344
but nobody ever
asked you about yourself.
422
00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:02,793
Precisely. At first,
it didn't bother me,
423
00:17:02,931 --> 00:17:05,551
but as the years went on,
it drove me mad.
424
00:17:05,655 --> 00:17:07,103
Wow, that's really hard.
425
00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:08,895
People should ask their
therapists how they're doing
426
00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:11,137
more often, rather than
blathering on about themselves.
427
00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:12,620
I assume.
428
00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:14,310
Obviously, I don't go to therapy
because it's a racket.
429
00:17:14,413 --> 00:17:15,585
In fact, I refer to it
430
00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,103
as the industry of death, often.
431
00:17:17,206 --> 00:17:18,482
But that being said and meant,
432
00:17:18,586 --> 00:17:20,655
I'm happy to...
listen
433
00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:23,793
if you want
to talk about yourself.
434
00:17:23,931 --> 00:17:26,137
- Really?
- Yes, but on one condition.
435
00:17:26,275 --> 00:17:29,000
You have to promise to barf out
all the people you ate.
436
00:17:29,103 --> 00:17:32,551
Okay. Deal.
Now then, where to begin?
437
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:34,620
I mean, my childhood
was pretty rough...
438
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:36,723
Hey, you have to stay awake
439
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:38,448
and pay attention
the entire time.
440
00:17:38,551 --> 00:17:40,275
- Or the deal is off.
- No, no, no, I'm awake.
441
00:17:40,379 --> 00:17:41,620
I've got chronic TMJ
442
00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:43,724
from taking too many Molly doses
cut with Speed.
443
00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:45,344
Please continue talking
about yourself.
444
00:17:45,448 --> 00:17:49,241
Okay, so, back to my childhood,
or maybe even earlier,
445
00:17:49,344 --> 00:17:50,379
my mother's childhood.
446
00:17:50,482 --> 00:17:51,655
In Vienna, it's, like,
447
00:17:51,793 --> 00:17:53,033
culturally expected
you play piano,
448
00:17:53,034 --> 00:17:54,378
but Mummy had other plans...
449
00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:55,723
So fucking boring.
450
00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:58,275
Now, shorts with a tie
and jacket were de rigeur
451
00:17:58,379 --> 00:18:00,620
for little boys back then,
but you could really make
452
00:18:00,724 --> 00:18:02,862
a statement with your socks.
453
00:18:02,965 --> 00:18:05,447
And the reason I thought I'd be
good at interpreting dreams
454
00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,862
is because I have
really weird ones,
455
00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:09,482
like this one where I'm a goat,
456
00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:12,000
but I'm also my dad
if he was a goat.
457
00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:14,172
Whew. That's the stuff.
458
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,896
Sometimes I do
silly voices like...
459
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,619
"'Ello, how you
doing? You doing all right?"
460
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:20,000
Or like...
"Howdy, y'all. I like that."
461
00:18:20,103 --> 00:18:23,137
Maybe I should make front-facing
videos, or am I too old?
462
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,827
And that is why
I ate all those people.
463
00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:28,620
- I am really sorry.
- Did I do it?
464
00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:29,930
I listened to everything?
465
00:18:29,931 --> 00:18:32,206
Yep. Well, you upheld
your end of the bargain,
466
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:33,827
and now I will do the same.
467
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:39,034
Oh, God, I hate that feeling
so much.
468
00:18:39,172 --> 00:18:40,448
I can't believe it didn't work.
469
00:18:40,551 --> 00:18:41,655
I'm all covered
in goose pimples now,
470
00:18:41,758 --> 00:18:43,482
and I haven't even booted yet.
471
00:18:43,586 --> 00:18:44,827
Okay, I'm just going to
freaking do it.
472
00:18:44,931 --> 00:18:47,310
I'm going to gag myself.
Here I go.
473
00:18:54,965 --> 00:18:56,862
- Rip, you did it.
- Indeed.
474
00:18:56,965 --> 00:18:58,999
Because I learned
an important lesson today.
475
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,378
I always thought you were only
supposed to ask other people
476
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:02,827
about themselves
if you genuinely care
477
00:19:02,931 --> 00:19:05,205
what they had to say,
but that's not it at all.
478
00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:08,413
You do it so that people feel
like the world cares about them
479
00:19:08,517 --> 00:19:10,517
and they don't turn
into crazy monsters
480
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:12,517
who take their resentment
out on society.
481
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:15,516
It's for the good of humanity,
even though we all know that,
482
00:19:15,517 --> 00:19:18,999
to us, it's boring as shit.
483
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,586
Thank you for saving us, Rip.
484
00:19:20,689 --> 00:19:22,965
Sure thing, Doc. I couldn't have
done it without your help.
485
00:19:23,068 --> 00:19:25,827
And who knows, maybe
I could call you sometime?
486
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,068
Sorry, Rip,
487
00:19:27,206 --> 00:19:28,516
that would be crossing
a professional boundary.
488
00:19:28,517 --> 00:19:30,172
No, no, not like that.
489
00:19:30,275 --> 00:19:32,861
I meant maybe I could call you
to set up a therapy session.
490
00:19:32,862 --> 00:19:34,275
Oh. I'd like that, Rip.
491
00:19:34,379 --> 00:19:36,205
I think you have
a lot of issues.
492
00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:37,448
Thanks again, everyone,
493
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,172
for helping me
work through my problems.
494
00:19:39,275 --> 00:19:42,448
Dr. Freud, wait. With our
combined psychoanalytic powers,
495
00:19:42,551 --> 00:19:44,758
we could go on therapeutic
adventures across the world.
496
00:19:44,896 --> 00:19:47,448
Of course.
And it will take both of us
497
00:19:47,551 --> 00:19:50,413
to bring down
The Mental Illness Mafia.
498
00:19:51,827 --> 00:19:53,033
Wait, Dr. Null!
499
00:19:53,034 --> 00:19:54,620
When should we have
our first session?
500
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,758
It's great that
you want therapy, Rip,
501
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,241
but for now, I'm out of network.
502
00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:23,931
Wow, so this is
based on King Lear?
503
00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:26,689
Swooper, how was the bathroom
for the last 20 minutes?
504
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,448
What'd you get up to in there?
Tell me everything.
505
00:20:29,551 --> 00:20:30,896
- It was fine.
- Hey, hey.
506
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,379
Saltine and Agatha,
how were your weekends?
507
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,482
- Pretty good, I guess.
- Fine.
508
00:20:34,586 --> 00:20:35,516
Well, don't stop there.
509
00:20:35,517 --> 00:20:37,206
Agatha, how was your poker game?
510
00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:40,516
Pray tell, was there any juicy
goss upon which I might munch?
511
00:20:40,517 --> 00:20:43,275
I want to hear all about it.
512
00:20:43,379 --> 00:20:44,620
- Knock it off.
- I can't.
513
00:20:44,724 --> 00:20:46,205
I don't want any of you
going crazy
514
00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:48,723
from not being asked
about yourselves, like Freud.
515
00:20:48,724 --> 00:20:51,137
- We're not going to.
- Can't be too careful though.
516
00:20:51,241 --> 00:20:54,275
Well, we had a lot of fun here,
but mental health is important.
517
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,724
If you or someone you know is
struggling with mental health,
518
00:20:56,827 --> 00:20:59,172
contact a licensed professional
and get the help you need today.
519
00:20:59,275 --> 00:21:01,310
- Rip, who are you talking to?
- I don't know.
520
00:21:25,172 --> 00:21:27,241
Chirp.
521
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:32,310
♪ MTV. ♪
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