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00:00:06,795 --> 00:00:10,447
[Mother Jean] The majority
of our members
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00:00:10,448 --> 00:00:12,448
are age 55 and up.
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00:00:12,449 --> 00:00:14,654
Now, unless we want to have
an ambulance on call
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00:00:14,655 --> 00:00:15,896
in the parking lot
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00:00:15,897 --> 00:00:17,412
like a food truck sitting
out there every Sunday,
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00:00:17,413 --> 00:00:19,136
I suggest we do
some critical thinking
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00:00:19,137 --> 00:00:21,343
and come up with some solutions
to get some new members,
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00:00:21,344 --> 00:00:23,000
and we need to do it right now.
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00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:24,827
Slide.
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00:00:24,931 --> 00:00:26,068
Slide!
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00:00:26,172 --> 00:00:28,413
Boy, it is not that hard
just to mash a button.
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00:00:28,517 --> 00:00:29,758
Slide, please. Slide!
13
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:32,413
Mother Jean, it's over.
14
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Say thank you.
15
00:00:34,448 --> 00:00:36,498
All right!
That was great, Mother Jean!
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00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,551
I mean, riveting,
17
00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:41,065
riveting presentation,
Mother Jean. All right...
18
00:00:41,066 --> 00:00:43,481
Guys, we're off track.
Look, like Mother Jean said,
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00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:45,723
we need ideas to increase
the membership, okay?
20
00:00:45,724 --> 00:00:46,688
No bad ideas.
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00:00:46,689 --> 00:00:48,206
Ooh, I got it.
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00:00:48,207 --> 00:00:50,792
Why don't I become a contestant
on The Price is Right?
23
00:00:50,793 --> 00:00:53,758
Okay, actually,
there are bad ideas, okay?
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00:00:53,862 --> 00:00:54,912
Anybody else?
25
00:00:54,965 --> 00:00:56,355
-Calvin.
-[Calvin] A'ight...
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00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:57,792
you know those
sign twirly people,
27
00:00:57,793 --> 00:00:59,412
the people twirling signs
and stuff?
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00:00:59,413 --> 00:01:00,613
We could do one of those,
29
00:01:00,620 --> 00:01:03,068
except we can make 'em
like a cool Jesus,
30
00:01:03,172 --> 00:01:04,965
have him some glasses on,
no shirt.
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00:01:05,068 --> 00:01:06,137
Obviously,
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00:01:06,138 --> 00:01:07,826
they have to
be in shape, though.
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00:01:07,827 --> 00:01:10,241
All right, gonna be a no
on CrossFit Jesus.
34
00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:12,067
We're back to bad ideas.
Good ones?
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00:01:12,068 --> 00:01:15,344
You know, people really love
dating these days.
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00:01:15,448 --> 00:01:16,498
Yes.
37
00:01:16,517 --> 00:01:18,034
-Yes?
-Yes!
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00:01:18,137 --> 00:01:20,172
-Yes.
-Faith dates!
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00:01:20,275 --> 00:01:22,413
-Faith dates.
-[Corey] Imagine,
40
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:25,137
like, real connection,
no swiping,
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00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:27,000
actual conversation.
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00:01:27,103 --> 00:01:28,896
All in favor of the vibes, aye?
43
00:01:29,034 --> 00:01:30,379
Aye!
44
00:01:30,482 --> 00:01:32,241
? Churchy ?
45
00:01:32,379 --> 00:01:36,172
? I'm going to church today
'cause I need love ?
46
00:01:36,275 --> 00:01:37,586
N-O!
47
00:01:37,724 --> 00:01:40,310
I cannot think of any other
way to spell that word.
48
00:01:40,311 --> 00:01:41,688
I'm trying, but I can't think.
49
00:01:41,689 --> 00:01:43,620
You could try, Y-E-S.
50
00:01:43,724 --> 00:01:47,241
As in Y-E-S, yes,
I want Corey out of my office.
51
00:01:47,344 --> 00:01:49,103
-Mother Jean...
-Now.
52
00:01:49,206 --> 00:01:50,827
You saw the membership stats.
53
00:01:50,828 --> 00:01:53,378
It's gonna take something new
and extraordinary
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00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:55,205
to take this ministry
to the next level.
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00:01:55,206 --> 00:01:58,586
Corey, this is a church,
not a nightclub.
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00:01:58,724 --> 00:02:00,034
What's next?
57
00:02:00,035 --> 00:02:01,964
Bottle girls serving communion?
No, sir.
58
00:02:01,965 --> 00:02:04,586
Mother Jean, all jokes aside,
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00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:07,344
all I want to do is
bring Bethlehem Temple back
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00:02:07,482 --> 00:02:09,620
to where it was in its heyday.
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00:02:11,758 --> 00:02:14,103
Let me crunch these numbers.
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00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:15,256
[Corey] Okay.
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00:02:15,257 --> 00:02:16,654
One more time,
and just let me...
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00:02:16,655 --> 00:02:18,447
You're gonna use
the first calculator ever made?
65
00:02:18,448 --> 00:02:20,000
-Corey!
-Okay...
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00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:24,275
Corey, all I can do,
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00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:25,793
I can squeeze out $83
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00:02:25,931 --> 00:02:28,827
-for that budget.
-$83?
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00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,379
$83, that's what I have.
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00:02:30,482 --> 00:02:32,000
What am I gonna do with $83?
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00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:34,862
You can't even get an Uber
from the airport with $83.
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00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,930
You know who else
didn't have an Uber, Corey?
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00:02:36,931 --> 00:02:38,172
The Israelites.
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00:02:38,275 --> 00:02:41,379
And if they could make it work,
you can, too.
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00:02:41,482 --> 00:02:42,758
$83.
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00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:43,912
Make it work.
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00:02:43,965 --> 00:02:45,793
[Corey] This is all we got
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00:02:45,896 --> 00:02:47,413
for food, drinks,
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00:02:47,482 --> 00:02:48,827
and decoration.
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00:02:48,828 --> 00:02:50,757
I thought you said we didn't
have much of a budget.
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00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:51,757
We don't.
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00:02:51,758 --> 00:02:53,965
$83? [scoffs] Man...
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00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,516
I could feed a whole
army and all
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00:02:55,517 --> 00:02:57,034
their POWs with that.
85
00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:59,550
Matter of fact, watch this.
Watch this. You take this...
86
00:02:59,551 --> 00:03:00,793
And...
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00:03:00,896 --> 00:03:02,551
One of these right here.
88
00:03:02,552 --> 00:03:04,378
Calvin, there's no way
you can feed
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00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,310
all of those people with $33.
90
00:03:06,413 --> 00:03:09,068
Listen, you take this.
I'm gonna text you a list.
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00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,688
You get exactly what's
on that list,
92
00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:12,378
and you meet me back
at the church.
93
00:03:12,379 --> 00:03:13,896
We got some cooking to do.
94
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:18,413
-Three items? Got it.
-I told you that was a bad idea.
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00:03:18,517 --> 00:03:20,241
This makes me very nervous.
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00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:22,793
-Sister Poole...
-Sister Poole?
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00:03:22,896 --> 00:03:25,413
Oh, hi, guys. Hi, Pastor.
98
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,964
Hi! We haven't seen you in
service in the last few weeks.
99
00:03:27,965 --> 00:03:30,102
I was really hoping
that you would hear this news
100
00:03:30,103 --> 00:03:32,034
from someone else, but...
101
00:03:32,137 --> 00:03:33,724
I mean, to be honest...
102
00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:35,862
I've been attending
Sacred Kingdom.
103
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,655
Teddy's church?
104
00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:39,310
Why?
105
00:03:39,311 --> 00:03:40,378
The membership perks!
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00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:41,482
[Corey] Perks?
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00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:44,379
-What perks?
-Movie tickets, gas cards,
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00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,827
and one woman even won
one of them fancy
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00:03:46,828 --> 00:03:48,033
Dyson vacuum cleaners!
110
00:03:48,034 --> 00:03:49,447
With the handheld
detachable feature?
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00:03:49,448 --> 00:03:50,378
Yes, that one!
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00:03:50,379 --> 00:03:52,655
Man, I love those new vacuums.
113
00:03:52,656 --> 00:03:55,033
There's something nice about
seeing the kind of filth
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00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:55,999
that you're living in.
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00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,517
Mm, true.
116
00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,379
Well, I gotta run.
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00:03:59,482 --> 00:04:01,586
God bless.
118
00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:03,965
-Yeah, God bless.
-All right, Evangelist.
119
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,137
Well, that explains
the decline in membership.
120
00:04:09,138 --> 00:04:10,999
I mean, our church ain't
that bad; we got perks.
121
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,655
Yeah, we got me.
122
00:04:12,656 --> 00:04:14,930
But we can't give you out to
everybody, that's the problem.
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00:04:14,931 --> 00:04:16,516
-Hand me out.
-No, we can't give you out.
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00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,861
-Distribute me.
-[Corey] No.
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00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:21,586
[upbeat organ music]
[Sharon] All right, Calvin.
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00:04:21,689 --> 00:04:24,965
I got everything you asked for.
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00:04:24,966 --> 00:04:28,102
Now, did you make sure you got
the meat from the 99-cent store?
128
00:04:28,103 --> 00:04:31,103
I went to the 99-cent store,
Calvin, just like you asked,
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00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,585
and I got everything
on the list.
130
00:04:32,586 --> 00:04:35,103
I also picked up
a couple bottles of Pepto Bismol
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00:04:35,206 --> 00:04:39,482
since you got sausage
andcanned tuna in there?
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00:04:39,586 --> 00:04:42,586
This might not be what you eat,
but this is what we got.
133
00:04:42,587 --> 00:04:44,136
Now, you want
to throw insults at me,
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00:04:44,137 --> 00:04:45,723
or you want to help
me save this event?
135
00:04:45,724 --> 00:04:48,413
-[Sharon sighs]
-Get it all in.
136
00:04:48,517 --> 00:04:50,965
-Get it all in.
-All right.
137
00:04:51,068 --> 00:04:53,482
-Thank you. Thank you!
-Calvin, I will help you.
138
00:04:53,483 --> 00:04:55,033
That's what I'm sayin'!
Come on, man!
139
00:04:55,034 --> 00:04:57,144
We got to save...
But-but before you do that,
140
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,379
though, I need you to
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00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,033
look like you 'posed
to be in my kitchen.
142
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:01,862
What's wrong with
the way I look?
143
00:05:01,863 --> 00:05:03,102
Nothing,
if you filin' papers.
144
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,853
But, baby,
we making magic in here.
145
00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:07,620
I need you to go in and put on
your sous-chef jacket.
146
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:08,774
[upbeat music]
147
00:05:08,827 --> 00:05:10,517
Toxic profiles is what we need
148
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:12,067
to make this event a success,
bro.
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00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:13,516
-Toxic?
-[Rodney] Come on, look.
150
00:05:13,517 --> 00:05:16,482
Check it out. So I just
reactivated my profile.
151
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,999
I can change my age right here.
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00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,757
I can make however much money
I want to make.
153
00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:22,862
But you just got to sprinkle in
just enough of a red flag.
154
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,551
Being cryptic, you know,
155
00:05:24,552 --> 00:05:26,688
emotionally unavailable,
being a bad guy-
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00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:28,965
that brings women
like moths to a flame.
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00:05:28,966 --> 00:05:30,930
-But you're lying.
-[Rodney] Am I lying?
158
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,068
Or am I dating?
159
00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:35,000
Please, do not listen
to this man
160
00:05:35,103 --> 00:05:36,243
right here, all right?
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00:05:36,244 --> 00:05:37,792
That's not what us
women want at all!
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00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:39,068
We want...
163
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,000
a man that's going to
give us roses
164
00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:43,931
and take us out to dinner,
165
00:05:44,034 --> 00:05:46,344
and... open up doors.
166
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:48,240
Yeah, open up doors
to the police station
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00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:49,344
when he posting bail.
168
00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:50,619
[Corey] No, man. I do agree.
169
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:53,344
Right? The right woman will
respond to a man
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00:05:53,448 --> 00:05:54,620
being a gentleman.
171
00:05:54,724 --> 00:05:55,827
-A gentleman?
-Yes.
172
00:05:55,828 --> 00:05:57,516
Weren't you a gentleman?
What happened with that?
173
00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:59,068
Weren't you a gentleman?
174
00:05:59,069 --> 00:06:00,861
Didn't your girlfriend leave
the church when y'all broke up?
175
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:02,171
Didn't you lead her
away from God?
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00:06:02,172 --> 00:06:03,205
Bruh, that was church hurt.
177
00:06:03,206 --> 00:06:04,412
[Corey] No, that was not
church hurt.
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00:06:04,413 --> 00:06:05,447
That was Rodney hurt.
179
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,498
[upbeat music]
180
00:06:06,586 --> 00:06:08,241
[Pastor Stinney] Hey...
181
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,516
how's everything rolling?
182
00:06:09,517 --> 00:06:10,378
[Mother Jean]
Things are rolling
183
00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:12,206
just fine, I guess.
184
00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:15,482
Uh...
[clears throat faintly]
185
00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:19,206
Is there anything you need?
186
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:22,241
No, nothing.
187
00:06:22,344 --> 00:06:23,689
All right.
188
00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:25,379
I was just stopping by.
189
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:27,275
Uh...
190
00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:29,827
Speaking of something happening,
191
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,620
isn't it crazy
192
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:35,931
how this speed dating event
is actually going to happen?
193
00:06:36,068 --> 00:06:39,068
I mean, who would even think
of going to such a thing?
194
00:06:39,172 --> 00:06:41,758
Hmm...
195
00:06:41,759 --> 00:06:43,861
[Mother Jean] Are you planning
on attending
196
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,412
-this thing tonight?
-[Pastor Stinney] Me?
197
00:06:45,413 --> 00:06:49,586
-[Mother Jean] You.
-Oh... No...no.
198
00:06:49,724 --> 00:06:52,965
I, um... Well, yes.
199
00:06:53,068 --> 00:06:58,482
Yes, uh, I'm going to supervise
to keep an eye on things
200
00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:01,310
and make sure
everything stays decent.
201
00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:03,034
Decent?
202
00:07:03,137 --> 00:07:04,862
-Mm-hmm.
-At a church event?
203
00:07:06,068 --> 00:07:09,827
Well, I guess you just can't
have too much decency.
204
00:07:09,965 --> 00:07:12,482
Right. Exactly.
205
00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:14,655
Uh...
206
00:07:14,758 --> 00:07:18,482
[clears throat]
So you planning on going?
207
00:07:18,586 --> 00:07:19,931
No... No.
208
00:07:20,034 --> 00:07:21,586
I've got plans tonight.
209
00:07:21,689 --> 00:07:23,965
Hmm. Oh... Of course.
210
00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,206
Okay. Well, then, uh...
211
00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:30,620
I was just checking
for the, uh... head count.
212
00:07:30,724 --> 00:07:31,793
And the decency.
213
00:07:31,794 --> 00:07:32,930
-[Pastor Stinney] Yes.
-Right.
214
00:07:32,931 --> 00:07:36,413
All righty, then.
215
00:07:38,310 --> 00:07:40,379
I, uh...
216
00:07:41,413 --> 00:07:43,379
Heh.
[gentle music]
217
00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:48,862
All right, let me add this.
Roommates with my ex-girlfriend.
218
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,827
-Stop...
-[Rodney] I believe
219
00:07:50,965 --> 00:07:52,551
in 50-50.
220
00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:57,379
Hi, we're here to pick up
a to-go order.
221
00:07:57,482 --> 00:08:00,172
-Come on over here.
-Mm-hmm, ooh.
222
00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:02,000
[Keisha giggles]
223
00:08:02,068 --> 00:08:04,275
[chair squeaks]
224
00:08:08,344 --> 00:08:09,620
Keisha?
225
00:08:10,689 --> 00:08:13,137
Don't make it weird, okay?
Niles...
226
00:08:13,241 --> 00:08:15,413
Baby, this is Corey,
227
00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:17,793
[scoffs] the ex-fianc�.
228
00:08:17,896 --> 00:08:20,482
Oh, the ex-fianc�.
229
00:08:20,586 --> 00:08:21,827
Who is that?
230
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:24,172
Her? That's just Keisha.
231
00:08:24,275 --> 00:08:26,689
Ooh, she put my boy through it.
232
00:08:26,758 --> 00:08:27,862
But you're right.
233
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,931
He does kind of have
an adult kid face.
234
00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:32,718
-[Keisha giggles]
-[Boyfriend] Thanks so much for
235
00:08:32,793 --> 00:08:35,758
fumbling the bag.
I really appreciate it.
236
00:08:35,862 --> 00:08:37,482
Much love.
237
00:08:41,758 --> 00:08:43,508
I didn't even know you were
in town.
238
00:08:43,586 --> 00:08:47,896
Well, he flew me out because he
couldn't stand to be without me.
239
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,050
Uh-uh.
240
00:08:49,068 --> 00:08:51,000
Corey, I'm in
my soft girl era now.
241
00:08:51,068 --> 00:08:55,275
You wouldn't understand.
[lips smack]
242
00:08:55,379 --> 00:08:59,931
[smooth R&B music]
243
00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:02,793
-Damn...
-[indistinct chatter]
244
00:09:03,898 --> 00:09:07,136
You have to start
putting timers on it.
245
00:09:07,137 --> 00:09:08,309
It's like five minutes left.
246
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,655
You had no timer on this?
247
00:09:09,656 --> 00:09:11,343
-Get it together! Come on!
-I'm working! I'm working!
248
00:09:11,344 --> 00:09:13,103
-Man...
-[Calvin] Yeah, you got to...
249
00:09:13,206 --> 00:09:14,551
Is it already in? Okay.
250
00:09:14,552 --> 00:09:15,792
-[Sharon] Yeah...
-[Calvin] Great, get that goin'.
251
00:09:15,793 --> 00:09:16,843
Every time.
252
00:09:16,844 --> 00:09:18,240
I'm working on it.
I got the fish,
253
00:09:18,241 --> 00:09:20,205
-got the tuna coming.
-[Calvin] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
254
00:09:20,206 --> 00:09:23,000
Look, with the tuna,
make sure you save that juice.
255
00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:24,343
Don't just pour that
down the drain.
256
00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:25,481
Save some of that juice
257
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,067
because I like to put it
in a lemonade,
258
00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:29,238
gives it, like,
an aromatic tropical feel.
259
00:09:29,275 --> 00:09:31,724
Okay, tuna juice and lemonade...
You got it.
260
00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:33,378
[imitating Gordon Ramsay]
Pass me those bangers
261
00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:35,102
right there, yeah?
And let's stop taking the piss.
262
00:09:35,103 --> 00:09:37,067
We literally have an army
to feed out there, yeah?
263
00:09:37,068 --> 00:09:38,930
[fake British accent]
We have a room full of
264
00:09:38,931 --> 00:09:41,448
hopeless romantics
to feed, Chef!
265
00:09:41,517 --> 00:09:45,586
Hey, okay, so maybe just one of
us do, like, the British accent.
266
00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:48,498
Keisha, huh?
267
00:09:50,827 --> 00:09:52,551
What's all that about?
268
00:09:52,655 --> 00:09:54,068
I don't want to talk about it.
269
00:09:54,137 --> 00:09:57,000
Hmm...
Uh, your event...
270
00:09:57,103 --> 00:09:59,000
Your event.
You said that's tonight?
271
00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:00,647
Yeah, if you're free,
pull up.
272
00:10:01,655 --> 00:10:04,000
I'll see what I can do.
273
00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:10,757
See, that's what
I'm talking about, bro.
274
00:10:10,758 --> 00:10:13,000
Look, our group chat
is about to be on fire
275
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:14,516
with the new drama in your life.
276
00:10:14,517 --> 00:10:16,655
You know,
a little bit of toxicity
277
00:10:16,758 --> 00:10:20,310
perfectly blended with
a little aloofness and mystique.
278
00:10:20,413 --> 00:10:22,448
[chef's kiss]
Brilliant, bro!
279
00:10:22,449 --> 00:10:25,136
That's the thing, though.
I'm not being mysterious.
280
00:10:25,137 --> 00:10:27,344
I really don't want
to talk about it.
281
00:10:27,448 --> 00:10:28,827
There it goes again.
282
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,792
You're finally getting
the hang of it!
283
00:10:30,793 --> 00:10:31,930
Let's get out of here, bro.
284
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:34,448
We got some matchmaking to do.
285
00:10:35,379 --> 00:10:37,827
[gentle music]
286
00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:40,482
[exhales]
287
00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:43,620
[Pastor Stinney] Hey, hey.
288
00:10:43,724 --> 00:10:47,517
Uh, funny seeing you here...
Small world.
289
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:49,137
If I didn't know any better,
290
00:10:49,138 --> 00:10:51,516
I would think that
you're keeping tabs on me,
291
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:54,344
-Mr. Supervisor.
-No...
292
00:10:54,482 --> 00:10:57,000
No, no, not at all...
293
00:10:57,827 --> 00:11:00,689
A little bit.
294
00:11:01,034 --> 00:11:02,354
[Mother Jean] I never knew
295
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:05,275
that my comings
and goings were so fascinating.
296
00:11:05,379 --> 00:11:07,482
But, um, hey,
297
00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:09,344
have a good time tonight.
298
00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:10,827
But...
299
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:13,551
try not to have too much fun
without me now, hear?
300
00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:16,000
[Pastor Stinney]
Oh, don't you worry.
301
00:11:16,103 --> 00:11:19,275
Some fun just
ain't the same without...
302
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,275
certain company.
303
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:24,862
[gentle music]
304
00:11:24,863 --> 00:11:26,999
-You gonna get the door?
-Oh, yeah, that's right.
305
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,482
Yeah, I got the door.
[door clicks]
306
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:33,343
I just cannot believe this is
my life right now!
307
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,102
-Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
-[Sharon] It's crazy!
308
00:11:35,103 --> 00:11:36,655
Relax, relax, relax. I'm sorry.
309
00:11:36,758 --> 00:11:37,862
I'm going crazy.
310
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,654
I know I'm on
my Gordon Ramsay right now.
311
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:43,034
But listen, I need you
to understand how big this is.
312
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,517
Sharon, we're not
just making food.
313
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:47,137
We're making a statement.
314
00:11:47,138 --> 00:11:49,343
We're doing this for
all the people on the cell block
315
00:11:49,344 --> 00:11:51,758
still trying to chase
their culinary dreams,
316
00:11:51,759 --> 00:11:54,309
who might not get a chance
to get out and do it like this.
317
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:57,827
I can't do this by myself.
318
00:11:57,931 --> 00:12:02,413
-I need your help.
-You got it.
319
00:12:02,551 --> 00:12:03,862
You still with me?
320
00:12:03,863 --> 00:12:04,861
Yes.
321
00:12:04,862 --> 00:12:07,103
-Yes what?
-Yes, Chef.
322
00:12:07,241 --> 00:12:08,620
Can't hear you.
323
00:12:08,758 --> 00:12:09,965
Yes, Chef!
324
00:12:09,966 --> 00:12:11,516
That's what I'm talking about!
325
00:12:11,517 --> 00:12:12,965
[energetic music]
326
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:16,172
[Calvin] Sharon,
we're not just making food.
327
00:12:16,275 --> 00:12:19,793
[energetic classical music]
[iron sizzling]
328
00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:21,706
[Calvin]
We're making a statement.
329
00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:27,098
We're doing this for all
the people on the cell block...
330
00:12:29,103 --> 00:12:32,344
...still trying to chase
their culinary dreams.
331
00:12:32,448 --> 00:12:37,827
[energetic music continues]
332
00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:52,620
-[indistinct chatter]
-[laughing]
333
00:12:52,621 --> 00:12:53,964
I've actually been
running my own business
334
00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:55,102
for about six years now.
335
00:12:55,103 --> 00:12:58,103
Wow, a man with ambition.
I love that.
336
00:12:58,241 --> 00:13:00,448
All right, everybody,
real quick,
337
00:13:00,449 --> 00:13:02,240
if I could just have your
attention, please, real quick.
338
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,481
I'm Corey Carr,
the pastor of Bethlehem Temple.
339
00:13:04,482 --> 00:13:06,758
I want to take this time to
welcome you to our
340
00:13:06,862 --> 00:13:09,034
first Faith Date event,
which...
341
00:13:09,035 --> 00:13:10,930
Deacon Charles,
what are you doing here?
342
00:13:10,931 --> 00:13:13,206
The date...
I'm here for the date.
343
00:13:13,207 --> 00:13:14,826
Deacon Charles, it's date night.
You know that.
344
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,597
Yeah, yeah, Deacons Against
The Enemy, that's what it...
345
00:13:17,598 --> 00:13:19,033
Charles,
you know that's not an acronym.
346
00:13:19,034 --> 00:13:20,964
-Go on out, please.
-Well, I'm takin' my snacks.
347
00:13:20,965 --> 00:13:23,435
Sorry. Anybody who dated him,
that does not count.
348
00:13:23,517 --> 00:13:26,517
So what I wanted to say is thank
you again for coming here.
349
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:29,379
We're glad to meet you.
We want to introduce ourself.
350
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:30,412
We are a big church.
351
00:13:30,413 --> 00:13:31,723
We're a big part
of this community
352
00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:33,171
and we're so happy you're here.
353
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:35,551
And what better place
to find union
354
00:13:35,655 --> 00:13:38,517
than in the house of God, right?
355
00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:39,931
Love is in the air.
356
00:13:40,034 --> 00:13:42,310
We're all about
authenticity here today.
357
00:13:42,413 --> 00:13:43,965
That's all I ask.
358
00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:45,999
Even though sometimes you're
your truthful, authentic self,
359
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,344
and you fall in love,
360
00:13:47,448 --> 00:13:50,896
and that person that you love
and give everything to
361
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,206
leaves you
for chasing your dream?
362
00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:56,724
No, no, they ask you
to be vulnerable,
363
00:13:56,725 --> 00:13:58,999
and then when you do and you
share your hopes and dreams,
364
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,931
they leave you because of what
God called you to do,
365
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:04,275
and they think that's okay?
366
00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:06,862
And then they want to show up
back in your life?
367
00:14:06,965 --> 00:14:10,655
And then sometimes they're
attached at the hip, literally.
368
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:13,724
And you've got to see that.
369
00:14:13,725 --> 00:14:14,895
But you know what?
370
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,620
Tonight is about you!
371
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:21,275
Let's find somebody to fall
in love with, and just know
372
00:14:21,276 --> 00:14:23,171
that it can all be
over in an instant.
373
00:14:23,172 --> 00:14:26,758
Let's have a great night,
everybody, huh?
374
00:14:26,862 --> 00:14:28,793
[clapping]
Yeah!
375
00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:30,931
[under breath] Wow.
Is he serious?
376
00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:33,448
[clapping]
Yeah, boy.
377
00:14:33,449 --> 00:14:34,654
What service do you
usually go to?
378
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:36,793
-6:30.
-A.M.?
379
00:14:36,896 --> 00:14:40,103
That's crazy.
God ain't up at 6:00.
380
00:14:40,206 --> 00:14:43,275
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let's just... Let's just talk.
381
00:14:43,413 --> 00:14:44,913
There is nothing to talk about.
382
00:14:44,914 --> 00:14:47,757
Your profile online says you are
six foot, three inches tall,
383
00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:50,103
-and 210 pounds.
-[Rodney] Love...
384
00:14:50,206 --> 00:14:53,758
I said I feel6'3" and 210.
385
00:14:53,862 --> 00:14:56,068
But I get how
that little typo could-
386
00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:57,448
Typo?
387
00:14:57,449 --> 00:14:59,585
What about you being the pastor
of this church?
388
00:14:59,586 --> 00:15:00,655
[Rodney] Love...
389
00:15:00,758 --> 00:15:03,517
I said I feellike a pastor.
390
00:15:03,655 --> 00:15:06,000
Are you even a Pisces, love?
391
00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:07,241
I like fish.
392
00:15:07,344 --> 00:15:09,586
[sighs] You know what?
393
00:15:09,587 --> 00:15:11,654
This is a waste of time.
I can't do this. Bye.
394
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:14,586
Love, love...
395
00:15:14,689 --> 00:15:16,655
So just so we're
on the same page,
396
00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,241
this is a ramen ball
397
00:15:18,344 --> 00:15:22,310
with a sausage pat�
topped with a cheese whizzee.
398
00:15:22,311 --> 00:15:23,792
You know,
you have to say whizzee
399
00:15:23,793 --> 00:15:25,293
to make it sound fancy, right?
400
00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:28,965
Garnished with a southern fried
crackling; spicy, too.
401
00:15:28,966 --> 00:15:29,999
-Right?
-Mm.
402
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,171
This is my Michaelangelo.
403
00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:32,447
This is my Mona Lisaright here.
404
00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:36,379
This is a spicy
crusted ramen loaf.
405
00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:37,982
And the last thing right here,
406
00:15:37,983 --> 00:15:40,274
this is probably going to be
more of the hors d'oeuvre style.
407
00:15:40,275 --> 00:15:41,896
This is a sausage bruschetta,
408
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,792
again, with
the canned cheese whizzee,
409
00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:45,723
sprinkled with
a little flaming dust.
410
00:15:45,724 --> 00:15:48,309
-[Sharon] Okay!
-[Calvin] On a saltless saltine.
411
00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:49,360
Saltlesssaltine?
412
00:15:49,361 --> 00:15:50,930
Yeah, I saw some
of the ankles of people
413
00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:51,964
that were supposed to be coming.
414
00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:53,137
They already on
415
00:15:53,138 --> 00:15:54,654
-high blood pressure medicine.
-You thinkin'.
416
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:58,413
You know, Calvin,
I am really impressed by this!
417
00:15:58,482 --> 00:15:59,862
-Really?
-Yeah.
418
00:15:59,965 --> 00:16:02,448
-You ready?
-Let's do it.
419
00:16:02,449 --> 00:16:03,516
Let's do it.
420
00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:06,172
[indistinct chatter]
421
00:16:09,068 --> 00:16:12,689
Ooh!
422
00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:17,068
Look at you,
looking like your entire self!
423
00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:20,413
If anybody else said you wasn't,
they was lying!
424
00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:23,344
-How you doing? Cal.
-Lisa.
425
00:16:23,448 --> 00:16:24,498
Yeah...
426
00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:27,034
Listen, I gotta be honest.
I am...
427
00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:28,862
I am just super intrigued
by you.
428
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,241
-Wow. Okay...
-[Calvin] And I...
429
00:16:31,379 --> 00:16:32,724
I got so many questions.
430
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,895
How you feeling about
the food they serving tonight?
431
00:16:34,896 --> 00:16:36,723
Like, on a scale of, like,
eight to ten.
432
00:16:36,724 --> 00:16:40,310
I mean, I gotta be honest.
Look, I thought it was great.
433
00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:43,862
Yes! Something on the table,
my bad, my bad... Really?
434
00:16:43,863 --> 00:16:46,171
Yeah! Look, that hot Cheeto
encrusted ramen?
435
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,826
-[Calvin] Uh-huh.
-That right there?
436
00:16:47,827 --> 00:16:49,343
They did they big one
with that one.
437
00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:50,862
That's one of my signatures.
438
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,137
This was you?
439
00:16:52,138 --> 00:16:53,688
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Tell me this.
440
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:55,259
Did you...
Did you notice the hint
441
00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:57,413
-of spicy mustard?
-Lowkey? I did.
442
00:16:57,551 --> 00:16:59,862
That's what I'm talking about!
443
00:16:59,965 --> 00:17:01,206
Spider!
444
00:17:02,275 --> 00:17:04,551
I'm sorry, love, but, uh,
I'm just...
445
00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:07,965
not interested in a woman who's
only concerned about money.
446
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:10,758
Like, you asked about my salary
first date.
447
00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:12,241
Like, it's a little weird.
448
00:17:12,344 --> 00:17:15,000
I'm sorry, but you're
the one on the app
449
00:17:15,137 --> 00:17:19,206
who added "Makes big money!
$100,000-plus per year guy!"
450
00:17:19,207 --> 00:17:20,481
-to his profile.
-[Rodney] Made.
451
00:17:20,482 --> 00:17:23,379
Made big money.
You know, once.
452
00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:25,172
It was a big something.
453
00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:26,448
Excuse me.
454
00:17:26,551 --> 00:17:28,931
Did you say you met him
on a dating app?
455
00:17:29,068 --> 00:17:30,448
Yeah, I said that.
456
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,205
Ladies, ladies, ladies,
let's just talk about this.
457
00:17:32,206 --> 00:17:33,412
You go ahead and take a seat
458
00:17:33,413 --> 00:17:35,379
and we can just talk;
I can explain.
459
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,378
Okay, explain it.
You have three seconds.
460
00:17:37,379 --> 00:17:38,482
Yeah, Rodney!
461
00:17:38,586 --> 00:17:40,965
Explain to them how
active you are!
462
00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:43,172
You run a marathon every day!
463
00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:45,344
You swim for an hour every day,
too,
464
00:17:45,345 --> 00:17:47,274
don't you, every morning?
Tell 'em!
465
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,517
-I thought you left.
-I wasn't done with you.
466
00:17:49,518 --> 00:17:50,792
You like swimming, do you?
467
00:17:50,793 --> 00:17:51,895
-[Kali] Mm-hmm.
-Now, hold on.
468
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,724
I can help you with that.
469
00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:55,172
Now, just wait a minute.
470
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,325
[gasping]
471
00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:57,378
Me, too.
472
00:17:57,379 --> 00:17:58,896
[water splashes]
473
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,570
I like the way
you ladies think.
474
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,482
Oh, yeah!
475
00:18:02,483 --> 00:18:03,550
Oh, yeah, yeah.
476
00:18:03,551 --> 00:18:05,482
Bye, Rodney.
477
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:07,034
Wow...
478
00:18:07,172 --> 00:18:09,413
The Real Housewives of Lubbock.
479
00:18:09,517 --> 00:18:13,758
[upbeat music]
480
00:18:13,862 --> 00:18:17,034
[chuckling]
481
00:18:20,655 --> 00:18:23,827
Yo, I'm really kind
of feeling this vibe right now.
482
00:18:23,965 --> 00:18:26,103
Me, too. I would love to go
somewhere else
483
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:27,343
-and get some real food.
-Drinks?
484
00:18:27,344 --> 00:18:28,619
Oh, I'm sorry,
you say real food?
485
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:29,965
Yeah, real food.
486
00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,862
Uh... [scoffs]
487
00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:33,405
What's wrong with this food?
488
00:18:33,406 --> 00:18:35,585
Where's the food? [scoffs]
Are you talking about this?
489
00:18:35,586 --> 00:18:36,896
Yes, this food.
490
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,000
[laughs] You're so funny.
I knew you were funny.
491
00:18:40,103 --> 00:18:41,913
This is disgusting.
Do you see this?
492
00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:43,068
This looks like
493
00:18:43,172 --> 00:18:46,586
an iron mark on the...
What is that?
494
00:18:46,689 --> 00:18:49,689
-Is this cheese?
-It's innovative. Okay, well...
495
00:18:49,827 --> 00:18:51,000
Have you smelled this?
496
00:18:51,103 --> 00:18:52,586
It smells like...
497
00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:56,275
not booty, but, like,
maybe a mixture of boot,
498
00:18:56,379 --> 00:18:57,689
like, but dusty.
499
00:18:57,827 --> 00:18:59,965
And, like, this?
This is, like...
500
00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:02,102
This looks like somebody
licked it already.
501
00:19:02,103 --> 00:19:04,274
-[Calvin] Okay, okay. Well...
-[Nancy] I want to throw up.
502
00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:07,655
I'm sure the chef did the best
that he could with what he had.
503
00:19:07,656 --> 00:19:08,723
The who?
504
00:19:08,724 --> 00:19:10,171
-The chef.
-[Nancy snickers]
505
00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:12,724
[laughing] I knew
you were funny.
506
00:19:12,827 --> 00:19:13,931
You're so funny.
507
00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:16,689
Trust me,
anybody with culinary training
508
00:19:16,793 --> 00:19:19,000
wouldn't come up with...
509
00:19:19,103 --> 00:19:21,689
What are you talking about,
"the chef?"
510
00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:23,137
[scoffs] Chef?
511
00:19:23,241 --> 00:19:26,275
About as much of a chef
as Chef Boyardee was Italian.
512
00:19:26,413 --> 00:19:29,206
-[laughing]
-Well, maybe...
513
00:19:29,310 --> 00:19:34,206
you should try catering an event
with $33 on such short notice.
514
00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:36,379
You know...
515
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:39,758
You're not even worth it.
516
00:19:39,862 --> 00:19:41,620
Calvin.
517
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:47,862
[plate thuds]
518
00:19:48,689 --> 00:19:50,689
I will have you know
519
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:53,793
that Calvin is
the reason why this event is
520
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,827
even an event instead
of a little get-together.
521
00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,071
He's a culinary genius.
522
00:19:58,172 --> 00:20:00,551
He busted his butt
to make all of this
523
00:20:00,689 --> 00:20:02,068
food for y'all!
524
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:06,586
And for your information,
Chef Boyardee wasItalian.
525
00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:09,103
He was a genius in the kitchen,
526
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:10,827
and he was even a chef
527
00:20:10,828 --> 00:20:13,171
for the President
of the United States of America.
528
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:14,982
So the next time
you think you wanna
529
00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:16,862
throw shots at a chef,
530
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,379
a.k.a. Flavor Master,
531
00:20:19,482 --> 00:20:21,241
get your facts straight,
sweetie.
532
00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:23,758
Okay? 'Cause you ain't got it
all together.
533
00:20:23,862 --> 00:20:26,068
Thank you very much
with your greedy self.
534
00:20:26,206 --> 00:20:28,379
I know you can eat this food
in one swoop.
535
00:20:28,482 --> 00:20:29,931
Calvin!
536
00:20:33,137 --> 00:20:36,103
[gentle music]
537
00:20:42,206 --> 00:20:45,724
How's the, uh,
supervising going?
538
00:20:45,862 --> 00:20:48,655
It's been a mess, honestly.
539
00:20:48,758 --> 00:20:53,000
[gentle music continues]
540
00:20:55,862 --> 00:20:59,413
Wait, I...
I thought you had plans tonight.
541
00:20:59,517 --> 00:21:02,344
Plans can change.
542
00:21:02,448 --> 00:21:04,344
I just thought I'd come by
543
00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:07,689
and see how you were
keeping things decent.
544
00:21:07,827 --> 00:21:13,206
[gentle music continues]
545
00:21:13,344 --> 00:21:16,758
You look... very nice.
546
00:21:16,862 --> 00:21:20,344
[gentle music continues]
547
00:21:20,482 --> 00:21:23,517
Thank you.
548
00:21:23,655 --> 00:21:29,827
[gentle music continues]
549
00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:36,172
Kobe... oh!
550
00:21:36,275 --> 00:21:39,275
So, I heard this is the place
to be tonight.
551
00:21:39,276 --> 00:21:41,619
Oh, yeah; love was definitely
in the air tonight.
552
00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:43,516
-[Corey] All right.
-I was hoping I could
553
00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:44,896
make the after-party.
554
00:21:44,897 --> 00:21:46,654
Oh, no.
There ain't no after-party.
555
00:21:46,655 --> 00:21:49,206
Oh, C-C-Corey, there's always
556
00:21:49,344 --> 00:21:51,620
an after-party, right, Corey?
557
00:21:51,689 --> 00:21:54,758
-Right?
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
558
00:21:54,759 --> 00:21:56,136
I mean, there's an after-party.
559
00:21:56,137 --> 00:21:58,448
I mean,
if you're sticking around.
560
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:02,551
I might. That's if you're free?
561
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,896
I'm free.
562
00:22:05,034 --> 00:22:07,137
Yeah,
563
00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:08,291
I'm free.
564
00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:16,206
[gentle music]
565
00:22:36,896 --> 00:22:38,413
[upbeat music]
566
00:22:38,463 --> 00:22:43,013
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