All language subtitles for Churchy s02e01 Shine Bright.eng

[Jean] No. No, no, no, no, no.
It's crooked.

See, that's the trouble
with your microwave generation.

You're just rushing
through everything.

Do you think that Stinney and I
could have built this church

if we just microwaved it?

Mother Jean, it's a sign,
not a Hot Pocket.

It looks great, guys. Thanks!

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Get your narrow behinds back up
on that ladder.

[Sharon] Corey!

What is this?

Sharon, it's not my fault.
This is all they had.

And the five doesn't float.

You have got to be kidding me,
Corey.

-This is ridiculous.
-Sorry.

[sighs frustratedly]

-I'll make it work.
-Thank you, Sharon.

You are notwelcome, Corey.

What's up, Stinkerbutt?
Boop!

Hey, man. What's up?
Calvin. Calvin.

I'm here, man. I'm here, man.

I'm here for the help.
What's up?

Yeah, no, I got... I'm good.

-You sure?
-That was the last thing.

The balloons was the last thing
'cause I was...

You know what I'm saying?
She took those.

But if I need anything,
I'ma hit you.

-Okay.
-You still got the pager?

-I got it.
-Yeah, I'ma beep you.

Okay, cool. Yeah.

Corey, I'ma be right here.

[Corey] Yep.

-? Amen
-? Amen ?

-? Amen
-? Amen ?

? Ooh ?

-? Aa-a-ah, Aa-a-ah
-[coughs]

? Ame- ?

[struggles with high note]
? Me- Me- ?

Rodney, cracked?

Listen, you going to be ready
for tonight?

It ain't nothing
a little tea can't fix.

All right, if you say so,
'cause I could do...

[struggles with high note]
? That ?

Invert.
[plays piano]

? Amen ?

Good. [coughing]

You know, Rodney,

if you need a real good singer
for tonight's celebration,

I got you.

Sharon, I'd rather try to sing
a solo with Kim Burrell

and have her tell me to shut up
than listen at you sing.

All right, everybody,
gather around.

I just want
to take a little time.

Just, I... Man,
I'm so excited, man.

It's just so good to see
all y'all.

You know, tonight is
gonna be really special.

We are celebrating 50 years
as a church.

[cheers and applause]

[Corey] I mean, Mother Jean,

you've been here
a long, long, long time.

Is there a funny story
you'd like to share?

Nope.

Well, anyway, I am so honored
to be doing God's work

alongside each
and every one of you,

and really just so godly proud

of the hard work and dedication
we've all put in to make sure

tonight's 50th anniversary
goes perfectly.

Hey, man, we proud of you,
Big C.

Yeah, Corey,
'cause we ain't know

if you was going to make it
after Keisha, the way-

Oh! No!

You know what, Calvin?
Tonight's not about me.

It's about us, this church,
and its impact in the community.

On tonight, we gonna go up
for 'em, y'all.

We gonna turn up for the king
one time for your holy bond.

So y'all go home,
take a shower.

Everybody get dressed
and freshened up

'cause we gonna pray
all of tonight!

? Churchy ?

? I'm going to church today
'cause I need love ?

Ah. I like what you've done
with the place.

Thank you.
You know, I just wanted

to kind of make it my own.

Yeah, you've, you've done that.

[Corey] Have a seat,
Pastor Stinney.

[Stinney] All right.

Great speech out there.

-Appreciate it.
-Powerful.

-Thank you.
-[Stinney] I got a gift for you.

Oh, this day just keeps
getting better and better.

There you go.

Uh, this... This doesn't look
like a gift.

What, what, what is this?

That's the church's
overdue bills, Corey.

We got to get that under control

or we're going to lose
the church.

We are currently insolvent.

Good thing Jesus paid it all.

I'm being serious.

Why would you
seriously gift me this

on today of all days?

The anniversary,
especially the 50th,

has a great potential
to put a dent in this book.

So, yeah,

there's a real good chance
we'll lose everything

if tonight doesn't go well.

No pressure!

You know, I was thinking,
Corey was talking about

the 50th
and everybody's contribution.

And Rodney gets to sing,
you get to create the flyers

and pick the theme
and all of that.

I don't know, man.
I'm just kind of feeling like

I ain't get to lend my talents
to the cause.

You are helping me
with this box.

This is lending, big time.

-You sure?
-Yes.

-Okay. [breathless]
-Thank you.

-Hold that for a second.
-Oh!

I was thinking maybe we should,
uh...

maybe we should, uh,
step it up a bit.

-You got a lighter?
-No!

I feel like we should,
I don't know,

maybe get some fireworks or-

oh, what about a trampoline
for the kids?

You know, really give
the people what they want.

So, so let me get this straight.

Your bright idea is to break
into cars,

commit arson, get us shut down
as a church

and fined by the city.
Are you eating a chicken nugget?

-Where did you get that?
-It was on the floor.

-Disgusting.
-But you gave me another idea.

What if we painted
the church gold?

You talking about
instant attention.

You can't ignore
a gold church, Sharon.

That's just brilliant, Calvin.

Yeah, paint the church gold.
First impressions.

So why don't we just take

the money from
the offering plate,

use that money
to buy gold spray paint?

Mm-hmm. Now you cooking.

If it gets the people talking,
then it's worth it.

Now that's marketing 101.

[chuckling]
Your boy took a class.

[fake laughing]
I worry about you.

Take this box!

Simple-minded.

Okay, so $1,200 for
stained glass window cleaning?

You can't even see through
stained glass when it is clean.

I told you it was bad.

-Calvin?
-Hmm?

Calvin, what did you do?

[stammering] No, no,
I was walking by, and, uh...

You know how I be eating?
Yeah, uh...

And you know how, as a man-
like, as a human, really-

there's only so many nutrients
that, like, I can hold.

Get to the point.

Okay. Uh...
The toilet's maybe...

-The toilet's broke.
-What?

So how long until we're up
and running, you think?

Um, well, here's your problem.

You trying to get a Popeye's
biscuit down with no beverage.

See? Uh... You ain't got
no water. Okay?

Now, I can go check
the meters in the back,

but I'm pretty sure
that's your culprit.

-S-Stinney, don't-
-[Stinney] Oh, boy.

Look like we got one
coming up down here, too.

What? Oh, no.

Uh-uh. No, no, no.

They don't do...

Corn cob, yams, yams,

and a little bit
of chicken nugget.

-That boy's a double dumper.
-Hey, that's enough.

Double dumper!

Nope.
Let me explain what happened.

[Sharon] Hey, y'all.

There's a guy outside
at the water meter.

-Yeah.
-Water meter...

Oh! What?!

No, that's not...

Water meter? Oh! Come on,
come on, come on, y'all.

-Come on, y'all.
-Calvin, that's Satan!

You could have fixed this
before they got in here.

? You the double dumper ?

? Poo-poo, caca ?

Sir, sir, sir, please,
please, please, please, please.

You cannot turn our water off.

That's your gas meter?
I just turned that off, too.

[Corey] Oh, my God.
You don't understand.

This cannot happen today
of all days.

There's got
to be somebody I can talk to.

-Yep.
-[Corey] Who?

-God.
-You cut it off, not God!

That was yourwrench.

Your church has
an outstanding balance

that needs immediate attention.

-Hey, the lights cut off.
-They cut the power off, too?

Not "they." I did that.
[chuckles]

Oh, you enjoy this.

Oh, you having a great day. Huh?

It's a joke to you.

You just having a blast
destroying the people of God!

What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do now?

[Sharon] I have no idea.
We can't bring people here.

Not with no water, no lights,
no power.

-How can I help you?
-Hi.

I'm the pastor
of Bethlehem Temple.

There seems to be
a little confusion.

Our water and power
were cut off this morning.

Mm. Address?

Uh... [mumbles] Uh...

You're the pastor of the church
and you don't know the address?

Uh, you know, I'm kind of new.

-What's the name of the church?
-Uh, Bethlehem Temple.

Oh, I see it right here.

Okay. Whoo. Good.

Sir, there's no confusion
at all.

Sir, you haven't paid the city
in six months.

Look, I was hoping
that you could

just maybe turn on our water
and power just for tonight.

-Okay?
-Huh?

We got our
50th anniversary service.

We got so many people flying in,
driving in.

I'm sure the offering
we raise tonight will be

more than enough
to come back tomorrow

and pay this outstanding,
delinquent six-month balance.

-Amen.
-[Clerk] Amen.

That right there,
that's the problem

with you Bible-thumpers.

You think holy water is free?

No, I'm here
to tell you it's not.

But come on. Have a heart.

Come on, sister.
It's Christmas.

Sir, it is August.

-August.
-You know what?

I feel like we got off
on the wrong foot.

I'm Corey. What's your name?

-Crystal.
-Crystal.

-Okay, Crystal what?
-Crystal Clear.

Crystal Clear.

As in, let me make it
crystal clear.

Unless you have the money
to pay your balance in full,

the utilities will not be turned
back on.

Goodbye. Next!

All right, I have
y'all's coffees right here.

-Oh, thank you.
-It's right here.

You are very welcome.
And here's your tea.

-[Sharon] Thank you.
-And here are your grits.

-[Corey] Thank you.
-With a little bit of sugar.

-Appreciate it.
-[Waitress] You're welcome.

[Corey] Thank you so much.

Okay. You want to explain
what that's all about?

You know I get sugar
in my grits, Sharon.

We done talked about this.

Everybody don't have to have
salt-and-pepper grits

just 'cause you're Black.
Some people can have sugar.

Corey, I'm not talking
about grits.

-The waitress.
-What about the waitress?

She was clearlyflirting
with you.

She is not flirting with me.

That woman is just doing
her job.

I do not listen to nobody

who look like Whitney Houston
in The Bodyguard.

[laughing]

[Teddy] Well, well, well.

I guess the sun does shine
on a hound's behind

at least once a day.

-Good morning, Corey.
-Good morning, Teddy.

A little birdie told me
at City Hall

that you guys are having
mortgage issues.

Oh, actually, everything's fine.
We're three months ahead.

Yeah.

If you don't get
your house together,

you're gonna be outside

preaching on the Big Top
like Barnum and Bailey.

[chuckles]
You already got your fat lion.

-Wait, was that about me?
-Mm-hmm.

-[Calvin] Oh, I hate a bald man.
-Come on.

I'm not afraid of you.
[laughing]

We got everything under control.

-Sure you do. Uh-huh.
-Thank you.

I'm gonna leave y'all
to y'all's hobo breakfast.

I'ma keep my paddle warm
for you.

Your paddle?

Auction paddle.
When y'all go under.

40, can I get a 40, 40, 40?

Now 50. 50, 50, 50.

Rundown church
with a really bad pastor.

Sold to
the distinguished gentleman

who writes his own sermons.

[scoffs]

I really hate that dude.

How much do y'all think
it would cost

-to put a hit out on somebody?
-Sharon, come on.

About $2,000 to $3,000,
honestly,

depending on if you want it
to look like an accident or not.

What? Man, the market ain't been
the same since COVID.

Hypothetically, I mean.

That's it.
Teddy might be on to something

with the whole
preach outside thing.

You know, Carlton Pearson,
Live at Azusa.

Okay, we outside, tent,
pastor, Bible, old school.

Okay, okay.
I think I can see that.

[indistinct chatter]

[Trent] Calvin Crooks?

-Is that you?
-Nah, man.

He went down to Louisiana.
He was talking something crazy.

He was like, "Oh, I'm about to
make a name for myself."

Something like that.

He was gonna start
a restaurant-

Boy, shut up!

This is Calvin Crooks.

All right, man.
I got your rope right here.

-I got some duct tape for you.
-Thank you.

Got your shovel
and some bolt cutters.

-All good? Yes, sir.
-My man. Appreciate that.

Uh, Calvin, why do you need
all this stuff?

Sha- Why are you so nosy,
Sharon?

He got a nose. He got a nose.

He can be nosy.
You shouldn't be that nosy.

You done? You done talking
about my nose here,

or do you want to just sign this
paperwork so I can get-

I'll sign. No problem.

Where are the generators?

It's on... It says generators.

Right. Right, right, right.
[chuckles]

Where are they?

Oh! Where are they?

You got follow-up questions.

All right, you came
with the receipts, girl.

We don't have any generators.

But I got great news for you.

So we know you doing
a little event,

you need the generators.
You guys need power?

I know a guy. It's me.

I got electrical cords,
extendos.

I got 5 feet, 10 feet, 20 feet,
30 feet, 50 feet.

-Got 100 feet.
-Where's the tent?

The tent? Duh!

It's... not on here.

Yeah, we don't have any tents.

No, no, no.

[gospel music playing]
? Let's go

? When I think about
your goodness ?

? I gotta say I'm thankful ?

[music stops]

Yo, what are you doing?

Oh, snap.
You really lost your voice.

Vocal rest. Okay.

[whispers]
I'm gonna miss my moment.

I know you're gonna miss
your moment.

[whispers] It's gonna be
some motion.

Yeah, it's gonna be
some motion.

It's the anniversary.
You know they coming tonight.

-[whispers] Some women.
-Yeah, no stockings on tonight.

[whispers] They ain't
gonna have no panties on.

No way.
They gonna have panties on.

Come on, man.
This is the house of the Lord.

So what you do?
You put Sharon in charge?

-No.
-No?

I saw her rehearsing
with the praise team earlier.

This is a coup.

-This is a coup.
-Insurrection.

Insurrection.
This is January 6th.

Don't let her storm the Capitol
of your praise, Rodney.

-Not on my watch.
-Not on your watch, indeed.

All right, well, you better do
something 'cause she for sure

is rehearsing with them.
And I got to get inside, man.

You know
it's almost church time.

I'll catch up with you.

[music resumes]

? Give it to Jesus
Don't worry about it ?

? Cast your cares on him ?

? Give it to- ?

[church organ music]

-[Corey] Calvin.
-[Calvin] Mm-hmm.

Whose homes are these?

You want one? I can get you one.

I got a couple more
in the trunk

I ain't even pulled out yet.
I was saving it...

Okay. All right, listen.

I went to the store
to get tents, right,

but they didn't have any tents.

So I had to make
an executive decision.

Do we get tents or not? And I
just borrowed some real quick.

I can see the news now.

"Bethlehem Temple Church
Robs Homeless of Their Homes."

Headlines.
What did I tell you, Sharon?

-I said marketing 101.
-No, man! No!

You think this is a game, man?

I needed one big revival tent.
One.

Not this whole collection

of Skid Row,
dirty, messed-up, uh...

-Tents!
-Tents, man!

This shouldn't be that hard.

[gentle gospel music]

Breathe.

Was I too harsh?

Nah. He needs it.

I mean, he's trying to help.

As crazy as it sounds,
he really is.

Hey, I got it taken care of.

It's a tent
on the way right now.

Thank you.

-See, now I feel bad.
-He's trying.

Oh, look at this.
What do I put-

-A shopping cart? A bike?
-This is a hot mess.

[reverse parking sensor beeping]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, there you go. Hey, this
is my cousin right here.

-Ha-ha-ha! Come on, Big Ray.
-Cuzo!

Man, listen.

I appreciate you coming through
for me right now, bro.

Nah, never, man.
You was the only one who kept

my books clean
when I was in there.

[Calvin] Nah, man.
That wasn't nothing.

[Big Ray] I'll never
forget that.

But who is this fine cup
of sweet tea?

Because you just my kind
of refreshing.

[laughs] Sharon.

Nice to meet you, Sharon.

Ah-ha-ha. Wet.

-[Corey] Wow.
-Come on back, Cuz.

She ain't be washing her hands.
Look, this is Pastor Corey.

-This whole thing is his.
-What's up, brother?

Any friend of Calvin
is a friend of mine.

Appreciate that.

Pulled my shoulder
out the socket-

-He do that sometimes, right?
-For sure. I heard a click.

[Calvin] I have to brace
when I do it.

Yeah, I don't got insurance.

But this is great, man.
Like, who would have thought

Calvin's cousin
is an event planner?

-[Sharon] Wow.
-Event planner?

Nah, bruh, I'm in pest control.

-Pest control?
-Pest control?

Amen. Amen.

-Boy, isn't God all right?
-[cheers and applause]

Isn't God all right?

Whoo! Boy, we had
a time tonight.

This is what 50 years
of fellowship looks like.

We are so blessed.

You know, I had a word, but God,

God saw fit to see something
else happen tonight.

Is that all right?

-[Congregation] All right.
-[Corey] All right.

So we just have some words
of encouragement

all the way
from First Baptist Church,

Piney Grove, Fort Lauderdale,
Florida.

This brother's been
tearing up pulpits

all over the United States.

Y'all put your hands together
and welcome Luke Hillman.

[cheers and applause]

Praise the Lord, everybody!

[Congregation] Praise the Lord.

I said, praise the Lord,
everybody!

[Congregation] Praise the Lord!

He woke you up
this early morning!

[congregation excitedly affirms]

Started you on your way.

My subject today
is shine bright.

[congregation excitedly affirms]
[applause]

"Baddy"?

Calvin! Calvin!

Hey, man, relax. Wait, I...

That's my house that you stole,
and I want it back!

Okay.
Don't know if you know this,

but you spit when you talk,
okay?

Don't appreciate that at all.
That's number one.

Number two, watch your tone.

And number three,
I prefer the term "liberated".

-Oh, really?
-Yeah, really.

And I'm about to liberate
these hands on your face

if you don't give us back
our tent-

Well, let's go, Jeff!

God didn't want us to live
in darkness.

-He wanted us to live in light.
-[congregation affirms]

So he gave us the S-U-N.

[congregation affirms excitedly]

To shine bright on the world.

And he gave us the S-O-N.

[congregation affirms excitedly]

Who? Jesus.

Anybody know him?

[hums in Gospel rhythm]
? He is the Son of God ?

[Congregation] Yes!

? Jesus is the way ?

[Congregation]
[in rhythm] Yes! Yes!

? The truth and the life ?

[congregation affirms excitedly]

Look at your neighbor, ha!

And tell that neighbor...

? We've been made ?

[indistinct]

? Like joy

? Once in the morning light ?

What's going on? Young man!

-What, lady?
-It'll be a hate crime.

-It is Mother Jean.
-Mother Jean?

And it looks like you have had
a very long day.

Are you hungry, baby?

-Yeah, I guess.
-Come with me.

I'll get you something to eat.

[screaming spiritually] Jesus!

Is the light of the world!

I've been born again!
I've been born again!

Amen, y'all, amen-

Thank you. Y'all give him-

I got to do it for God!

No, you don't, no, you don't.
You did it good enough.

Yeah, one more time.
Y'all just come on to your mom,

Brother Luke. God bless you.

Yeah! Brother Luke,
show me one more time, y'all.

I know your fingers stink.

I can just tell by your little
beady eyes looking at me.

They're trying to make me
go there.

They're trying to make me
go there,

because they want me back
in jail.

They want me back over there.
You know what I'm saying?

You should come back over here,
Calvin.

No! I ain't going back
over there, Triple Cs!

You just relax.
You sound scared.

Ain't nobody scared!

Without further ado,
y'all put your hands together

for Sister Sharon
and the Praise Team!

[Congregation] Whoo! Whoo!
[cheers and applause]

[dramatic piano music]

? By the power invested in me ?

? I speak life

? I speak
[I speak] ?

? Life
[Life] ?

? Peace and prosperity ?

Practicing for months, huh?

Yup.

? Feeling low ?

[Stinney] It's not what
I expected, but I like it.

Amen. Amen.

Don't get it confused
with Little Ray. It's Big Ray.

Big Ray's Pest Control.

You see this tent?
That's all me.

My man. All right.

Rodney, you may not want
to hear me right now,

but you gon' hear me.

Now, son, I could get you
a plate.

Let me get you a plate.

No thanks. I'm good.

-Corey Carr.
-Hello, Pastor.

That was incredible.

Man, I ain't been
to no old school revival

-like that in decades.
-Yeah.

Stinney, I see why you made
the choice you did.

Let me tell you about
this fine pastor right here.

He's always gonna figure out
a way to make things happen.

I believe in him
and his visions for this church.

Amen. Well, I do too.

So I figured I'd put my money
where my mouth is.

All right, now, brother.

-You be blessed.
-Oh, thank you.

-Keep up the great work.
-[Corey] Thank you, Pastor.

-All right. Stinney.
-Yeah.

-I'll talk to you.
-Always.

[sentimental music]

-You did it again.
-Thank you, Stinney.

Exceptional job, Pastor Carr.

Thank you. Appreciate it.

-Did it again.
-[Corey chuckles] Amen.

Oh, won't He do it?

Oh, thank you, God.

No, I'm good. Thank you.

You can eat. Amen.

-Thank you, Pastor.
-You're welcome, brother.

[slow gospel music]

[music]

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0