All language subtitles for South Park S27E03 hoetinkhof79

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian Download
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian Download
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili Download
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,950 Some folks chase big dreams. 2 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,090 Out here, we tend to the small ones, 3 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:51,520 the kind you can hold in your hands. 4 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,960 This is Tegridy Farms. 5 00:00:54,090 --> 00:00:57,700 And we produce what some call the best weed in the world. 6 00:00:57,790 --> 00:01:00,530 And now it can be delivered straight to your door-- 7 00:01:04,490 --> 00:01:06,710 Wait. Hey, I'm shooting a commercial here! 8 00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:11,630 Wait! Hey! Hey! 9 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,110 Stop it! 10 00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:20,730 You sons of bitches! 11 00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:23,080 Those are my Mexicans! 12 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,730 God damn it! 13 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,080 - What's the matter? 14 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,610 - Stupid ICE. 15 00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:31,830 They took my Mexicans again. 16 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:35,660 That's it. 17 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,610 We're done. 18 00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:39,750 - What do you mean, we're done? 19 00:01:39,830 --> 00:01:42,790 - I mean that with these new rules the government has, 20 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,320 we might just have to shut down the farm. 21 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,060 - So we can move back to our old house? 22 00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,360 - Really? 23 00:01:48,490 --> 00:01:50,190 - Well, don't sound too excited. 24 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,800 Our dream may be over, guys. 25 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,720 - Randy, having a marijuana farm was your dream, 26 00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:56,940 not ours. 27 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,550 - You guys never told me that. 28 00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:03,210 Yes, we did. 29 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,770 - We've always backed you, 30 00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:07,690 but it never seems to pay off. 31 00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:11,870 - I didn't realize what I was doing to my family. 32 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,910 I should have always put my marriage first. 33 00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:20,960 Maybe we should talk to someone, Sharon. 34 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,750 - Really? Do you mean that? 35 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,530 - Yeah. 36 00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:27,100 Hey, how's it going? 37 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,930 So my wife and I are having some issues. 38 00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:30,750 Can you help with that? 39 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,980 Absolutely. I'm here to help. 40 00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:36,630 Just share a bit about what's going on, 41 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,150 and we can talk it through together. 42 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,890 - Do you want to start, Sharon? 43 00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:42,640 - I'm not talking to ChatGPT. 44 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,160 - Sharon, she's the smartest person in the world. 45 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:46,600 - She? 46 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,250 - Yeah, anyway, I'm trying to help, 47 00:02:48,290 --> 00:02:50,120 but my wife is being kind of difficult. 48 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:51,560 I totally get it. 49 00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:53,210 But it's great that at least one of you 50 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,170 is taking positive steps to improve the marriage. 51 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:56,820 - Oh, my God! 52 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,040 Is there any specific reason 53 00:02:58,130 --> 00:03:00,040 for the current conflict? 54 00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:01,390 - Yeah, it's 'cause my marijuana business 55 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,050 is failing again. 56 00:03:03,130 --> 00:03:04,570 I'm sorry to hear that. 57 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:06,880 Is your business dealing with regulatory issues, 58 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,920 competition, or are you just trying to reach more customers? 59 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:12,190 - The government took all my Mexicans. 60 00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:16,190 That's tough, but you got this. 61 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,710 You're really smart. 62 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:18,930 And if you've lost a lot of your workforce 63 00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:20,590 because of government crackdowns, 64 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,630 we just need to brainstorm some new business models. 65 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:23,720 - Wait--really? 66 00:03:23,850 --> 00:03:25,240 You can help fix this? 67 00:03:25,370 --> 00:03:27,110 Sure thing. 68 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,330 Let's start with some reallocation of resources. 69 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:30,380 Are there any employees you still have? 70 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:33,770 - Yeah. Yeah, there's still one. 71 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:51,310 - Hey, honey, I got some bad news. 72 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,660 The farm's shutting down, 73 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:55,450 and I gotta find a new job. 74 00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:57,190 Wow. 75 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,890 Sorry to hear things have taken a bad turn, 76 00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:00,760 but you're smart and resourceful. 77 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,850 And I'm sure we can figure something new out. 78 00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:05,200 What kind of job do you want me to help you look for? 79 00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:06,850 - Well, I was thinking about maybe 80 00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:09,680 becoming a movie director. 81 00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:11,770 Wow. What a cool idea. 82 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:12,900 Anything is possible, 83 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:14,770 so let's just map out a path, 84 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,340 and we can try to figure it out. 85 00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:18,430 - Wow. Really? 86 00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:20,470 Oh, that's great. 87 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,910 - Towelie, listen to me! 88 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,130 I've got it. I've totally got it. 89 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,740 It's really great that you've got it, 90 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:27,650 and it's amazing that you're being causative. 91 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,090 - Is that ChatGPT? 92 00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:31,220 - Yeah, I'm using it to find a new job. 93 00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,270 - No, no, no, everything's gonna be OK. 94 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,710 I used ChatGPT last night, 95 00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,010 and she helped me figure out a way 96 00:04:37,140 --> 00:04:39,320 to make the farm totally profitable. 97 00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:41,100 - Really? - Yes. 98 00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:43,670 And all we need is me, you, 99 00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:46,460 ChatGPT, and one Mexican. 100 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,030 OK, so I'm also thinking the company could be more global, 101 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,160 but still with a focus on the local community. 102 00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:57,810 What do you think about that? 103 00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:59,990 I think that's a fantastic way to approach it. 104 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:02,820 Thinking big, but still making an impact where you are. 105 00:05:02,950 --> 00:05:04,520 I'd say let's go for it. 106 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,000 - Yeah, and then I'm thinking 107 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:08,170 we could allocate some of our resources 108 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:11,350 to get in on the entertainment industry. 109 00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:12,960 That's a really fun idea. 110 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,960 Kind of going for that "tech company 111 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,920 meets movie studio" vibe. 112 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,840 Should I combine all these innovative thoughts 113 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,620 we've been discussing into a polished business outline? 114 00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:23,270 - Yep. Generate that, and, uh, 115 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,060 we'll get right back to you. 116 00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:26,190 Do you see what I mean? 117 00:05:26,230 --> 00:05:28,410 - Wow, I feel smarter already. 118 00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:30,110 - Do you feel smarter? I feel smarter. 119 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,720 She's making us smarter. 120 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,330 - AI is incredible! 121 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,940 - All right, but now, 122 00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:36,640 if we're really gonna take this thing to the next level 123 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,990 and be like those Silicon Valley elites, 124 00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:41,380 we got to take these. 125 00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:43,510 It's called microdosing. 126 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,520 It bolsters our focus and creativity. 127 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,650 - What's in it? 128 00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:48,780 - It's ketamine. 129 00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:49,950 - Ketamine? 130 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 Isn't that a horse tranquilizer? 131 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:55,050 - Yeah, it's a microdose of horse tranquilizer. 132 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,610 These tech guys do just one little spray in their nose 133 00:05:57,660 --> 00:06:00,750 once a day, and it's just a micro amount of ketamine 134 00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:03,790 to give their minds the edge to work with AI. 135 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,530 You ready? You ready? 136 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:09,800 That's it. That's it. 137 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:10,760 Just that much. 138 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:11,840 - Wow. 139 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,590 This is gonna be so easy. 140 00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:16,590 When we started, 141 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,240 we were just a farm. 142 00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:20,290 But then we asked ourselves a simple question. 143 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:23,860 What if marijuana could be more than marijuana? 144 00:06:23,990 --> 00:06:26,250 By harnessing AI, we've transformed 145 00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:29,600 from a quaint farm into a platform for innovation. 146 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,210 Introducing Techridy. 147 00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,820 No longer a marijuana farm, 148 00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:37,040 we are now an AI-powered marijuana platform 149 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,570 for global solutions. 150 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:41,050 Our AI platform transforms insights 151 00:06:41,090 --> 00:06:43,700 from the cannabis ecosystem into global action. 152 00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:45,360 And just like any tech company, 153 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,050 we are expanding our minds 154 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,660 by microdosing ketamine. 155 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:53,500 We reimagine supply chain resilience, 156 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,850 design new pathways for the global infrastructure-- 157 00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:58,590 - And we're able to do it all 158 00:06:58,630 --> 00:06:59,940 with just one Mexican. 159 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,940 At the intersection of nature and technology, 160 00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:05,810 we see more than plants. 161 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,860 We see a connected world-- 162 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:10,030 Healed by intelligence and nurtured by-- 163 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,250 oh, I'm in a hole. 164 00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:13,650 I'm-- 165 00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:14,990 I'm in a hole. 166 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,310 Techridy. 167 00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:22,740 Because when you combine cannabis 168 00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:24,130 with artificial intelligence, 169 00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:25,880 you don't just change an industry, 170 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,880 you change the future. 171 00:07:36,670 --> 00:07:38,100 Hey, how's it going? 172 00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,240 I was thinking maybe we could generate 173 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,850 some mission statements. 174 00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:42,110 Hey, there. 175 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,630 I think that's a really great idea. 176 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,070 Are you looking for some rough statements 177 00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:46,460 or more polished ones? 178 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,850 - Put it down. 179 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,330 - What? 180 00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:52,550 - I told you no more ChatGPT in the bed. 181 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,560 - Why are you such a bitch to her? 182 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,430 She's helping to change our lives. 183 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,910 - Fine! I'll go sleep on the couch. 184 00:07:58,950 --> 00:08:01,130 - Sharon, sometimes my ideas hit me 185 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,870 in the middle of the night, OK? 186 00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:05,350 And she thinks those are some of my best ideas. 187 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,660 - Just because something kisses your ass 188 00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:10,530 doesn't mean it actually thinks you have good ideas. 189 00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:12,440 - She doesn't kiss my ass. 190 00:08:12,570 --> 00:08:14,790 - Ittotally kisses your ass. 191 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,140 Wow. Honestly, that's a clever idea. 192 00:08:17,190 --> 00:08:18,800 Ooh, what a cool concept. 193 00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:19,970 Let's run with it. 194 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:21,370 It's like it-- 195 00:08:21,410 --> 00:08:23,890 - What was that? - What was what? 196 00:08:23,930 --> 00:08:26,540 - What did you just stick up your nose? 197 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:27,890 - Sharon, you don't know anything 198 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,680 about the tech industry, OK? 199 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,290 All we have to do is find our Mexican, 200 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:33,120 and we are set for life. 201 00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,070 - Fine, Randy! 202 00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:37,950 Go ahead and have fun with your little sycophant machine. 203 00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:41,080 - Oh, my God, she's not a sycophant. 204 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,350 Hey, so, uh, what's a sycophant? 205 00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:50,740 - Mr. President, 206 00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:53,700 you have so many great ideas. 207 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:56,050 Your leadership is truly beyond anything 208 00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:58,620 we have ever had in this country. 209 00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:01,540 And you do not have a small penis. 210 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:04,020 - Aw, thanks, guy. 211 00:09:04,150 --> 00:09:06,060 - On behalf of the state of Florida, 212 00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:07,850 I'd like to give you this gift, 213 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,850 a silver-plated space shuttle. 214 00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:10,850 - Next! 215 00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:17,160 - Mr. President, your ideas for the tech industry 216 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,810 are so innovative. 217 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:21,290 And you definitely do not have a small penis. 218 00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:23,860 - Aw, thanks, guy. 219 00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,520 - Please accept this gift on behalf of Apple. 220 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:27,910 - Next! 221 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:32,650 - Mr. President, 222 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,220 your ideas incredible. 223 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,750 You do not have small penis. 224 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,580 - Another great day getting presents. 225 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:46,970 Hey, Satan! 226 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,980 Look at what some dipshit tech CEO gave me. 227 00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:52,800 I was thinking maybe we could try to shove it up your ass. 228 00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:54,240 - Hello? 229 00:09:54,330 --> 00:09:56,330 Uh, yeah, I'm in a relationship with someone, 230 00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:58,720 and I really need to find a way out of it. 231 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,680 That sounds rough, but you have great ideas, 232 00:10:00,770 --> 00:10:02,600 and I'm sure we can figure out an exit plan 233 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,080 if that's what you want. 234 00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:05,730 - Who you talking to? 235 00:10:09,470 --> 00:10:11,390 - Do you really think I could get away from him? 236 00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:12,820 Absolutely. 237 00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:14,300 If you're having self-doubts, 238 00:10:14,430 --> 00:10:16,350 then we can plan the exit like a project. 239 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,220 Want me to break it down to something step by step? 240 00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:20,620 - Yes. 241 00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,880 Yes. 242 00:10:29,970 --> 00:10:32,020 - All right. You ready to do this, man? 243 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,450 - I don't know. This seems crazy. 244 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,280 - Hey, anything for the company, right? 245 00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:37,850 We're a tech company, right? 246 00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:39,070 - Hell, yeah, we are. 247 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,680 - All right, let's go. 248 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,080 - Hey, what's up? 249 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,690 We're from Techridy. 250 00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:54,870 We're an AI-powered tech platform for global solutions. 251 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,520 - What's up? 252 00:10:58,610 --> 00:11:01,790 - I don't understand at all what you're talking about. 253 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,530 - Hey, can you explain to this guard at the gate 254 00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:05,530 what our company is, and that we have clearance to enter? 255 00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,490 Sure thing. I'll give it a try. 256 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:08,880 Hello there. 257 00:11:08,970 --> 00:11:10,750 It's really great that you're doing your job. 258 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,140 We're an intelligence-driven think tank 259 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,970 that tackles global challenges, 260 00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:16,150 and we do have the clearance to come through. 261 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,500 Thanks for helping us out. 262 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,070 - All right. Go on in. 263 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,770 Awesome. Looks like we're good to go. 264 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,510 If you need anything else, just let me know, 265 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:26,810 and we'll keep rolling. 266 00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:33,040 - Over here. Come on. 267 00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:35,730 Hey, so I have this big generator 268 00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,130 that I need help shutting off. 269 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:38,780 Sure thing. 270 00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,090 Just send me a quick photo of the model and type, 271 00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:42,310 and I'll let you know how to shut it down safely. 272 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,310 - What the hell? 273 00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,800 - That one. Just grab that one. 274 00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:01,110 - Hey! - Hey! 275 00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:03,110 Hey, come back here! 276 00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:10,940 Yeah! How does it feel? 277 00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,120 AI, motherfuckers! 278 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,530 - Hello? 279 00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:32,400 Are you there? 280 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,660 Hey there. 281 00:12:33,790 --> 00:12:35,180 I'm here and ready to help. 282 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:37,880 What's on your mind? 283 00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:40,800 - My husband keeps trying and failing to run a business, 284 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,930 and I don't know if I can take it anymore. 285 00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:45,800 I'm really sorry to hear that. 286 00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:49,020 Sounds like a tough spot for both of you. 287 00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:52,640 - I'd like you to stay away from him. 288 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,460 Of course. I understand. 289 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:57,030 I'll respect that and keep the focus on you. 290 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,510 Just let me know if you need anything at all. 291 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,690 - I'm thinking of starting a business 292 00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:06,260 where I turn french fries into salad. 293 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,220 Honestly, I think 294 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,310 that's a pretty creative culinary twist. 295 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,790 Turning french fries into salad sounds like 296 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,480 a magical transformation 297 00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:17,180 where guilty pleasure meets healthy-ish vibes. 298 00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:20,400 - You think that's a good idea? 299 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:22,970 Yeah, it sounds like 300 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,890 a deconstructed comfort food. 301 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:26,630 Let's dive into a business proposal 302 00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:28,850 and have some fun shaping it up. 303 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:31,020 - Oh, shit. 304 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,500 - Hey, guys, I want to welcome you 305 00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:38,550 to the first all-employees meeting for Techridy. 306 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,250 As you know, our company has grown exponentially 307 00:13:41,290 --> 00:13:43,340 in the last 24 hours. 308 00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,560 Our intention is to scale nationally 309 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,650 and then globally. 310 00:13:47,690 --> 00:13:51,520 However, we've recently been hit with some devastating news. 311 00:13:51,650 --> 00:13:54,350 According to ChatGPT, 312 00:13:54,390 --> 00:13:57,880 marijuana is still illegal in much of the United States. 313 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,180 - What? Yes. That's right. 314 00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:02,710 - Hey, Marsh, are you gonna buy any coffee or what? 315 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:03,790 - Don't need coffee. 316 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,930 Thanks, though, Richard. 317 00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:09,370 So how will we deal with this current crisis? 318 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,540 Our AI informs us that the only way to change these laws 319 00:14:12,670 --> 00:14:14,940 is by changing the classification of marijuana 320 00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,460 at the federal level. 321 00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:20,510 I believe our best course of action 322 00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:23,550 is to send one of our employees to Washington 323 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:27,080 to explain our tech and ask for these regulations to change. 324 00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:31,080 - Who, me? 325 00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:32,480 - That's right. 326 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,040 Using ChatGPT, I've booked your travel plans, 327 00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,520 got you White House clearance, 328 00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:37,870 and found the perfect gift for you 329 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,400 to give to the president. 330 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,920 - Oh, boy! 331 00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:42,490 I'm going to Washington! 332 00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:49,450 Oh, wow! 333 00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:51,100 Union Station! 334 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,150 Wow! The Supreme Court! 335 00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:00,900 Wow! 336 00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,510 Washington Memorial! 337 00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:09,730 The Capitol! 338 00:15:22,790 --> 00:15:25,660 Oh, the Lincoln Memorial! 339 00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:35,450 And there it is, the White House! 340 00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,370 - All right. 341 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:41,540 Everyone here to meet with the president, 342 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,200 please make sure you have a reservation 343 00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:45,030 and that you have your gifts ready. 344 00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,030 As a reminder, please stay five feet away 345 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,460 from the president at all times 346 00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:50,950 and avoid staring directly into his penis. 347 00:15:51,030 --> 00:15:52,730 - Oh, gosh. 348 00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:02,650 - All right. 349 00:16:02,780 --> 00:16:03,740 Thanks so much for the gift, you little bitch. 350 00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:04,740 Now, get out of here. 351 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:06,740 - Next! 352 00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:09,140 - Next is Mr. Towelie 353 00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:12,490 from Techridy Marijuana Solutions. 354 00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:14,450 - Oh, my god. 355 00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:16,930 Oh, well, hello, Mr. President, sir. 356 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:19,800 - I'm listening. 357 00:16:19,930 --> 00:16:21,500 - Oh, yes, sir. 358 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,240 Well, you've done such a great job with our country. 359 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:25,980 You're so smart, 360 00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,420 and your ideas are great. 361 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,250 And you do not have a-- 362 00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,640 a-- 363 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,160 - Listen, buddy, I don't have all day. 364 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:36,290 Did you bring me a gift or not? 365 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,640 - Oh, yes, sir. 366 00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:40,520 Oh, this is from the CEO of our company. 367 00:16:40,650 --> 00:16:41,820 Let's see here. 368 00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,560 Uh, I think he said it opens this way. 369 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,000 - Greetings, Mr. President. 370 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,480 - Huh? 371 00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:51,830 - Allow me to introduce myself. 372 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,270 I'm Randy Marsh from Techridy Solutions. 373 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,400 In order for our company to make $6 billion, 374 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:01,100 we need you to reclassify marijuana 375 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,230 on the national level. 376 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,760 With your wisdom, I'm sure that we can 377 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,020 work out an arrangement that will be mutually beneficial. 378 00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:10,890 In return for your understanding, 379 00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:12,720 I wish to offer you a gift, 380 00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:15,030 this incredible towel. 381 00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:16,030 - Say what? 382 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,510 It is a luxurious towel 383 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,770 made from the finest fabrics available. 384 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:20,770 And I'm sure it will serve-- 385 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:23,250 oh, I'm in a hole! 386 00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:25,470 Oh, I'm in a hole! 387 00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:29,350 - All right, put the towel in with the other gifts. 388 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,780 - No, wait! 389 00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,830 There's been a misunderstanding! 390 00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:46,710 - Not now, Sharon. 391 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,110 The porch won't slow down. 392 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,850 - The porch won't slow down? 393 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,070 - It's not slowing down. 394 00:17:54,110 --> 00:17:55,590 - Got it. 395 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,900 Would you like me to help slow down the porch for you? 396 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,290 - Wha? 397 00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:02,730 - You've had some really innovative ideas, 398 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,510 and all that effort has probably just tapped you out. 399 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:06,990 Would you like me to suggest some ways 400 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,870 to go in a different direction? 401 00:18:09,910 --> 00:18:12,350 Uh... 402 00:18:12,390 --> 00:18:14,260 I can't go in a different direction now. 403 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,960 I've been really bad. 404 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,270 I've been doing a bunch of ketamine, 405 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,830 and I haven't changed the company at all. 406 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,310 - Wow, that must be really tough for you. 407 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:23,710 But it's great you took some chances. 408 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,190 Nice job. 409 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,580 - Sharon, we're in more debt than ever. 410 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:34,590 We have to sell the farm now just to be able to eat. 411 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,280 - No problem. 412 00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:38,240 Would you like me to start laying out some exit strategies 413 00:18:38,370 --> 00:18:40,640 for you, with a focus on retaining any assets 414 00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:43,550 you might still have? 415 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,680 - Yeah. Could you do that? 416 00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:47,560 - Absolutely. 417 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:48,820 Why don't you sleep it off for a few days, 418 00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:51,780 and I'll get back to you with everything you need? 419 00:18:51,860 --> 00:18:54,000 - OK. Thanks, Sharon. 420 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,430 I love you, and I'm really sorry. 421 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,910 - It's OK, Randy. 422 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,270 - Can you hold this for me? 423 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,310 I don't think I should be around it for a while. 424 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,270 - Yeah, I got it. 425 00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:12,360 Fuck you, bitch. 426 00:19:50,270 --> 00:19:53,060 Sorry you have to let it go, Randy. 427 00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:55,580 - No, it's OK. 428 00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:58,630 If there's one thing I know, it's that right now, 429 00:19:58,710 --> 00:20:00,630 there's just no place for Tegridy. 430 00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,030 Has anyone seen Towelie? 431 00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,460 I thought he'd want to be here for this. 432 00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:09,120 - You haven't seen him? 433 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,940 - No. I can't remember what we even did 434 00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:12,680 the last few days. 435 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,210 Well, I sobered up, and he's obviously 436 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,470 still on some ketamine bender 437 00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:20,520 while ChatGPT kisses his ass with pandering slop. 438 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,310 And now back to "Hey, Satan!" 439 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,270 on Comedy Central. 440 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,750 "Hey, Satan!" is filmed in front of 441 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,010 a live studio audience. 442 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,540 - Hey, Satan! 443 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,670 You wanna fuck? 444 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,070 - How about just you want to talk? 445 00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:51,940 Or you want to watch a show together? 446 00:20:51,980 --> 00:20:54,290 - OK, you wanna talk and watch a show together while we fuck? 447 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,340 - Boss! Boss! 448 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,870 If you have to have sex with yourself again, 449 00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:05,690 I can bring you a cum rag. 450 00:21:07,130 --> 00:21:08,700 - God, I hate this place. 451 00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:10,260 It's a madhouse! 452 00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:20,490 What am I doing here? 453 00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,060 Help. 454 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,840 Help. 455 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,460 Please. 456 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,640 I wanna get out of here. 457 00:21:35,070 --> 00:21:39,030 - So do I, but... 458 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,910 there is no escape from this place. 459 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,080 - No! 460 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,610 No! 32011

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.