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00:00:01,599 --> 00:00:05,995
[ man singing in foreign language ]
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00:00:05,995 --> 00:00:11,731
♪
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00:00:11,731 --> 00:00:14,731
You can’t set foot twice
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00:00:14,731 --> 00:00:17,599
in the same stream.
5
00:00:17,599 --> 00:00:18,226
Ha ha!
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00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,896
Gotta buy a dream dictionary!
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00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,698
[ snoring ]
8
00:00:22,698 --> 00:00:23,797
[ snoring stops, gasps ]
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00:00:23,797 --> 00:00:25,698
Gotta get the lights.
Let’s see.
10
00:00:25,698 --> 00:00:27,061
Nope, that’s not it.
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00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,160
Nope. And wrong.
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00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:29,863
Gasp!
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00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,863
Who-what-how-and-
sometimes-why am I --
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00:00:32,863 --> 00:00:33,665
My God, I’m --
15
00:00:33,665 --> 00:00:37,127
The President
of the United States!
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00:00:37,127 --> 00:00:40,665
[ "Hail to the Chief" plays ]
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00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:41,962
[ crickets chirping ]
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00:00:42,566 --> 00:00:44,698
[ coyote howls ]
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00:00:44,698 --> 00:00:45,962
Radio Announcer:
Speaking truth to power.
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00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:49,962
He’s the most dangerous
land animal in America.
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00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,226
Peter Potamus!
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00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:53,193
"HippoWars"!
23
00:00:53,193 --> 00:00:56,457
Today on the show,
WW2 was an inside job.
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00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,566
East of the Rockies,
you got "HippoWars."
25
00:00:58,566 --> 00:01:00,665
PHIL: Peter Potamus,
Phil Ken Sebben.
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00:01:00,665 --> 00:01:02,424
Mr. President,
what an honor!
27
00:01:02,424 --> 00:01:04,325
Listen, I’m wondering
if you’d be interested
28
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:06,424
in bringing
your brand of populist,
29
00:01:06,424 --> 00:01:07,500
shadily-financed wisdom
30
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,896
here to DC
to join my administration.
31
00:01:09,896 --> 00:01:11,193
Can I still
speak truth to power
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00:01:11,193 --> 00:01:14,028
except when truth
becomes inconvenient to power?
33
00:01:14,028 --> 00:01:15,391
Get out here, you!
34
00:01:15,391 --> 00:01:16,665
You heard it here, folks!
35
00:01:16,665 --> 00:01:19,863
I’m movin’ to DC!
You got "HippoWars"!
36
00:01:19,863 --> 00:01:22,457
MAN: The 46.5 Hat,
in honor of our 46th
37
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,292
and a half president,
Phil Ken Sebben.
38
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,896
Made in China
but 100% all-American!
39
00:01:26,896 --> 00:01:29,061
Call now and we’ll include
a second hat
40
00:01:29,061 --> 00:01:31,259
for just double the price.
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00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,929
♪
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00:01:32,929 --> 00:01:35,863
[ typewriter clacking ]
43
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,325
♪
44
00:01:38,325 --> 00:01:40,599
Well, dearest wife,
I did it.
45
00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:43,160
I finished chapter one
of my first thriller,
46
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:44,962
"A Matter of Wife
and Death"!
47
00:01:44,962 --> 00:01:47,094
Plus, I’m married.
To a woman!
48
00:01:47,094 --> 00:01:50,193
Harvey, honey,
you’ve written 27 thrillers,
49
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,830
most of which are set
in airports or bus stations.
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00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:54,764
Those books don’t count.
They were ghost-written
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00:01:54,764 --> 00:01:57,830
for the world’s best-selling
author cum billionaire,
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00:01:57,830 --> 00:01:58,599
Phil Ken Sebben.
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00:01:58,599 --> 00:02:00,160
If you like
Phil Ken Sebben books
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00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,226
written by Harvey Birdman,
buy "Terror on the Tarmac."
55
00:02:04,226 --> 00:02:07,193
- A Phil Ken Sebben book
written by Harvey Birdman!
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00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,193
Yep, it’s time the world
had a book by --
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00:02:09,193 --> 00:02:11,061
[ telephone rings ]
Harvey Birdman.
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00:02:11,061 --> 00:02:11,962
Birdman!
It’s Phil.
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00:02:11,962 --> 00:02:15,193
Phil, I was going to
call you -- with news!
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00:02:15,193 --> 00:02:16,929
If your news is that
I’m President
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00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,259
and have no memory
of it happening,
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00:02:18,259 --> 00:02:20,127
then, by all means,
you go first.
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00:02:20,127 --> 00:02:22,061
Uh, no, mine has more to do
with publishi--
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00:02:22,061 --> 00:02:24,797
I’m the President, and I can’t
be President, Birdman!
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00:02:24,797 --> 00:02:27,995
"Can’t" as in "it’s impossible"
and "don’t want to."
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00:02:27,995 --> 00:02:30,160
We didn’t even know
you were President.
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00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:30,896
We’ve been
off the grid.
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00:02:30,896 --> 00:02:34,160
I got married, Phil, to a --
Listen closely, Birdman.
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00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,028
There are people out there
who don’t want
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00:02:36,028 --> 00:02:37,193
the truth to come out.
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00:02:37,193 --> 00:02:39,424
Violent, deadly people.
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00:02:39,424 --> 00:02:40,665
Buy "Violent Deadly People,"
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00:02:40,665 --> 00:02:45,424
- a Phil Ken Sebben book
written by Harvey Birdman.
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00:02:45,424 --> 00:02:49,863
♪
75
00:02:49,863 --> 00:02:50,764
Look out!
76
00:02:50,764 --> 00:02:52,665
I forget --
was "Violent Deadly People"
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00:02:52,665 --> 00:02:54,665
set in a bus
or a train station?
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00:02:54,665 --> 00:02:55,797
I remember tiny toilets.
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00:02:55,797 --> 00:02:57,533
Anyway, you know, Birdman...
Look out.
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00:02:57,533 --> 00:02:59,094
...I’ve been thinking about
another book.
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00:02:59,094 --> 00:03:01,665
This time our hero
has a loss of memory.
82
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,160
He wakes up,
doesn’t know who he is,
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00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,127
but then a beautiful woman
comes and kisses him,
84
00:03:05,127 --> 00:03:06,325
and in her mouth,
she’s got a pill,
85
00:03:06,325 --> 00:03:07,896
and the pill’s got
his memories in it
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00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,962
from the Russian government!
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00:03:09,962 --> 00:03:10,391
Ah, Birdman!
88
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Not sure why you’re here,
but good to see you anyway!
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00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:14,995
I’m here about that
"delicate matter."
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00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,160
Birdman, I’m President.
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00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,259
They’re all
delicate matters.
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00:03:17,259 --> 00:03:19,325
[ echoing ] Don’t be shy.
You’re among friends here.
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00:03:19,325 --> 00:03:21,863
Except that guy.
My Secretary of, uh...
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Vice President.
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00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,226
Secretary of
Vice President.
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00:03:24,226 --> 00:03:27,500
Get me out of this
before I do something crazy.
97
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,391
- Like what?
- Like this!
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00:03:29,391 --> 00:03:34,028
Altoids! I’ve been looking for
you everywhere, my darlings!
[ gasping ]
99
00:03:34,028 --> 00:03:35,896
Come to Papa Tongue.
100
00:03:37,797 --> 00:03:39,566
Aah!
101
00:03:39,566 --> 00:03:41,292
Uh, did you just launch
a nuke?
102
00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:42,127
So me, isn’t it?
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00:03:42,127 --> 00:03:44,500
And in 24 hours,
it’ll reach Washington.
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00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,325
- Don’t you mean Moscow?
- No, silly!
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00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:48,797
Launching a rocket at Moscow
isn’t crazy.
106
00:03:48,797 --> 00:03:49,500
You have to recall it!
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00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,896
Only another President
can recall that missile.
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00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:54,863
- Why can’t you?
- Because I’m crazy, Birdman.
We covered that.
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00:03:54,863 --> 00:03:56,457
And I’m not sure
I was even elected.
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00:03:56,457 --> 00:03:58,358
We need a real president
to get it back,
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00:03:58,358 --> 00:03:58,995
so you’ve got no choice
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00:03:58,995 --> 00:04:01,566
but to get me out
of being president.
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00:04:01,566 --> 00:04:03,566
You got to impeach me!
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00:04:03,566 --> 00:04:04,830
Uh...
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00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:06,259
We’re waitin’.
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00:04:06,259 --> 00:04:07,698
I’ll take the case?
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00:04:07,698 --> 00:04:08,797
Ha ha ha!
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00:04:08,797 --> 00:04:11,094
You can go home again!
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00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:12,259
Eh.
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00:04:12,632 --> 00:04:15,358
Tell him what we know, Special
Advisor to the President.
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00:04:15,358 --> 00:04:17,061
- You’re the President.
- That’s all we know.
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00:04:17,061 --> 00:04:18,160
Except I don’t remember
running.
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00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,929
Nobody remembers,
especially not me.
124
00:04:19,929 --> 00:04:22,599
- That’s all we know.
- Number 46.5.
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00:04:22,599 --> 00:04:24,160
- Saluting. Saluting.
- I don’t understand.
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00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,127
- He was elected --
- If I was elected. Saluting.
127
00:04:26,127 --> 00:04:29,160
- What he said. In a non-election year.
- One-finger salute.
128
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,764
Someone --
I have no idea who! --
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00:04:31,764 --> 00:04:33,028
has hijacked the system.
130
00:04:33,028 --> 00:04:35,061
All we know is it’s not
a cabal of billionaires
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00:04:35,061 --> 00:04:36,896
who want to ram ruinous laws
down our throats
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00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:39,325
using a clueless
puppet president as cover.
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00:04:39,325 --> 00:04:40,797
If it were, I’d know.
134
00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:43,995
My entire cabinet’s filthy rich,
Birdman!
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00:04:43,995 --> 00:04:44,929
Filthy and rich.
136
00:04:44,929 --> 00:04:47,995
They never shower
because they don’t have to.
137
00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:49,896
Muskmelon!
138
00:04:52,566 --> 00:04:55,325
Harvey:
The Department of Justice.
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00:04:55,325 --> 00:04:57,995
And there she is.
140
00:04:58,292 --> 00:05:00,292
Where? Where?
It’s been 90 seconds
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00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:01,500
since I’ve even seen a she!
142
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,028
He’s talkin’ about
Lady Justice.
143
00:05:04,028 --> 00:05:06,500
Oh.
Typical Birdman.
144
00:05:06,731 --> 00:05:07,533
Your new home.
145
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:10,929
The Department of,
uh, Lawyers.
146
00:05:10,929 --> 00:05:12,193
[ clown car horn honks ]
147
00:05:12,193 --> 00:05:15,160
I hereby swear you
in as the 86th...
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00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,259
- And a half!
...Attorney Corporal!
149
00:05:17,259 --> 00:05:20,830
Remember, Birdman,
you serve -- ha ha! --
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00:05:20,830 --> 00:05:21,731
at my pleasure.
151
00:05:21,731 --> 00:05:23,292
It’s a great honor, sir.
152
00:05:23,292 --> 00:05:26,193
But isn’t the job
"Attorney General"?
153
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:30,028
Look at him. First day and
he already wants a promotion.
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00:05:30,028 --> 00:05:30,962
Millennial.
155
00:05:30,962 --> 00:05:33,457
- Aah!
- Go, go!
156
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:36,325
Everyone, meet Attorney
General Birdgirl!
157
00:05:36,325 --> 00:05:37,830
AG Birdgirl, the gang!
158
00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:39,797
Easy, fellas,
she’s not here to hurt me.
159
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:40,797
She’s here
to prosecute me.
160
00:05:40,797 --> 00:05:43,632
Which I will do to the utmost
of my ability, sir!
161
00:05:43,632 --> 00:05:45,094
But how can I prosecute
the President
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00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,325
when I’m really, secretly,
his daughter Judy!
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00:05:47,325 --> 00:05:49,127
No one can ever know
my secret identity
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00:05:49,127 --> 00:05:50,731
because then it’ll seem
I got the job
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00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:51,424
because I’m his daughter,
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00:05:51,424 --> 00:05:53,193
and that’ll derail
my father’s presidency,
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00:05:53,193 --> 00:05:54,830
and I’ll lose my job,
which would mean
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00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:55,995
my investigation
as Attorney General
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00:05:55,995 --> 00:05:58,160
to end his
Presidency would [gasps] end!
170
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,028
Gotta jet.
Have to take care of something,
171
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:01,731
but what exactly...
172
00:06:01,731 --> 00:06:04,731
Would it have to do with
recalling the missile you fired?
173
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,457
-...ended up as president!
- Got it!
174
00:06:06,457 --> 00:06:08,830
- Unh!
- My inauguration!
175
00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:09,457
Never had one.
176
00:06:09,457 --> 00:06:10,962
But now
I’m getting impeached,
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00:06:10,962 --> 00:06:14,292
so why not combine them
into one colossal...
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00:06:14,292 --> 00:06:16,995
BOTH: Inaugurpeachment!
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00:06:16,995 --> 00:06:20,896
♪
180
00:06:20,896 --> 00:06:23,061
I’m getting Inaugurpeached!
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00:06:23,061 --> 00:06:24,698
Let’s get this party started!
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00:06:24,698 --> 00:06:26,863
Planned first, then started.
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00:06:26,863 --> 00:06:27,731
What are we thinking?
184
00:06:27,731 --> 00:06:29,566
It’s gotta be big!
185
00:06:29,566 --> 00:06:30,358
The biggest ever!
186
00:06:30,358 --> 00:06:34,896
Sure, I guess, but planning
an event is all about...
187
00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:36,797
the little things.
188
00:06:37,632 --> 00:06:38,863
♪
189
00:06:38,863 --> 00:06:40,665
♪ Planes soar
through the skies ♪
190
00:06:40,665 --> 00:06:42,127
♪ Food that’s
all bite-sized ♪
191
00:06:42,127 --> 00:06:45,457
♪ You won’t believe
your eye ♪
192
00:06:45,457 --> 00:06:46,995
♪ Tanks and missile floats ♪
193
00:06:46,995 --> 00:06:48,599
♪ Travel-sized
bars of soaps ♪
194
00:06:48,599 --> 00:06:50,797
♪ I’m already
in black-tie ♪
195
00:06:50,797 --> 00:06:54,632
♪ ’Cause we’re planning
an Inaugurpeachment ♪
196
00:06:54,632 --> 00:06:57,731
♪ So big it’ll be fit
for kings ♪
197
00:06:57,731 --> 00:07:01,391
♪ I’ll tell you my
party-planning secret ♪
198
00:07:01,391 --> 00:07:04,226
♪ It’s all about
the little things ♪
199
00:07:04,226 --> 00:07:08,094
♪ The biggest marching bands ♪
♪ You’ve got tiny hands ♪
200
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,962
♪ Not proportional
to my glands ♪
201
00:07:10,962 --> 00:07:11,533
Ha ha!
202
00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:13,127
♪ It will be so fun ♪
203
00:07:13,127 --> 00:07:14,391
♪ Never to be outdone ♪
204
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:17,698
Back off!
♪ I’ve got a shrink gun ♪
205
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:20,764
♪ Wanna know his
party-planning secret? ♪
206
00:07:20,764 --> 00:07:24,028
♪ It’s all about
the little things ♪
207
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:27,500
♪ It’s gonna be
so stupendous ♪
208
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:30,500
♪ Tiny things are
so tremendous ♪
209
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:37,127
♪ It’s all about
the little things ♪
210
00:07:38,061 --> 00:07:41,094
Birdman, meet our
amazing assistant...
211
00:07:41,797 --> 00:07:43,028
Dierdre!
212
00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:44,193
I...don’t see anyone.
213
00:07:44,193 --> 00:07:46,325
She’s right there.
You’re offending her.
214
00:07:46,325 --> 00:07:49,599
Uh, hi, there,
"Dierdre."
[ Chimes ]
215
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:50,533
- Harvey Birdman...
- Gaah!
216
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:51,995
- ...an attorney
and former superhero
217
00:07:51,995 --> 00:07:54,599
who now writes political
thriller/spy novels.
218
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,028
Would you like to hear
his theme song?
219
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,500
MAN: Ha! Come on.
220
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:05,731
♪ Who is the man in the suit? ♪
221
00:08:05,731 --> 00:08:12,665
♪ Who is the cat
with the beak? ♪
222
00:08:12,665 --> 00:08:18,391
♪ Harvey Birdman,
Attorney General ♪
223
00:08:18,391 --> 00:08:19,731
Yoww!
224
00:08:20,863 --> 00:08:22,797
Dierdre, any messages?
[ Chimes ]
225
00:08:22,797 --> 00:08:24,632
I ordered more
fabric-softener sheets,
226
00:08:24,632 --> 00:08:26,632
and there are 19 hours
before Washington
227
00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:29,292
is destroyed
by a nuclear weapon.
228
00:08:29,292 --> 00:08:32,358
Man, I haven’t whiffed
a dryer sheet in years.
229
00:08:32,358 --> 00:08:33,533
[ inhales deeply ]
230
00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,764
Mmm.
Total sense memory.
231
00:08:35,764 --> 00:08:38,962
Dierdre, how do you
impeach a president?
232
00:08:38,962 --> 00:08:39,929
Researching.
233
00:08:39,929 --> 00:08:41,500
Would you like to hear songs
234
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,391
from Turner’s music library?
235
00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:44,731
♪
236
00:08:44,731 --> 00:08:46,764
Aah!
237
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:49,665
♪
238
00:08:49,665 --> 00:08:52,533
Seven hours and no closer
to a smoking gun.
239
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:52,929
Egg roll?
240
00:08:52,929 --> 00:08:55,599
It’s nearly impossible
to impeach a president.
241
00:08:55,599 --> 00:08:57,226
I can’t put my finger
on why,
242
00:08:57,226 --> 00:09:00,259
but I feel like
the answer’s in here.
243
00:09:00,764 --> 00:09:02,391
Wait.
That’s it!
244
00:09:02,391 --> 00:09:06,094
Which is why, I said
with disdain in my voice,
245
00:09:06,094 --> 00:09:08,764
you can’t tell
a cannoli joke anymore.
246
00:09:08,764 --> 00:09:13,160
They’ve declared war
on cannoli jokes, Potabots!
247
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,764
[ cheers and applause ]
248
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,665
Peter, Peter, can I just
ask you a question?
249
00:09:17,665 --> 00:09:21,094
Where does your funding
come from for PeterPotaPAC?
250
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,896
Well, you’re so smart,
you tell me.
251
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,533
That’s $19.95!
252
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:27,929
That one’s on the house.
253
00:09:27,929 --> 00:09:31,665
And by on the house,
I mean $12.95.
254
00:09:31,665 --> 00:09:34,830
♪
255
00:09:34,830 --> 00:09:36,962
No, I think the book
argues the opposite.
256
00:09:36,962 --> 00:09:38,391
I’m reading a great book.
257
00:09:38,391 --> 00:09:41,457
- Oh? What’s it about?
- Eh...
258
00:09:42,731 --> 00:09:44,665
Carefully...
259
00:09:46,094 --> 00:09:46,863
It’s about...
260
00:09:46,863 --> 00:09:51,566
talking about great books
you’ve read at parties.
261
00:09:51,962 --> 00:09:53,896
I haven’t heard of it.
262
00:09:53,896 --> 00:09:55,160
Do you have that book
about talking
263
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,061
about great books
you’ve read at parties?
264
00:09:58,061 --> 00:09:58,533
[ door knocks ]
265
00:09:58,533 --> 00:10:00,127
Hey, should we be stocking
the book about
266
00:10:00,127 --> 00:10:02,226
talking about great books
you’ve read at parties?
267
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,533
Hey, Raleigh, you realize
I can’t hear you
268
00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:06,292
until I open the door,
right?
269
00:10:06,292 --> 00:10:08,599
- I want the book!
- Where’s the book?!
270
00:10:08,599 --> 00:10:10,193
MAN: You want us to come
to bookstores!
271
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,127
MAN #2: What is a bookstore
without the book?!
272
00:10:12,127 --> 00:10:15,424
Computer: Searching. Error.
No such product.
273
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:16,500
MAN #3: Error 404?
274
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:20,457
[ electricity crackling ]
275
00:10:20,457 --> 00:10:21,731
Aah!
276
00:10:21,731 --> 00:10:31,533
♪
277
00:10:38,193 --> 00:10:41,698
Mr. President,
the invitations are ready.
278
00:10:41,698 --> 00:10:43,962
Come to daddy!
279
00:10:44,929 --> 00:10:46,995
"The Presidential Inaugural
Committee
280
00:10:46,995 --> 00:10:48,391
requests the honor
of your presence
281
00:10:48,391 --> 00:10:52,665
at the Inaugurpeachment
of Philippian Kenneth Sebben,
282
00:10:52,665 --> 00:10:53,797
President of
the United States --
283
00:10:53,797 --> 00:10:58,929
for now -- tonight,
6:00 PM hyphen question mark."
284
00:10:58,929 --> 00:11:00,962
Annnnnnnd tweeting.
285
00:11:00,962 --> 00:11:04,160
He’s tweeting again!
We gotta hurry!
[ phone chimes ]
286
00:11:05,896 --> 00:11:07,325
Dierdre,
please send him in.
287
00:11:07,325 --> 00:11:10,764
[ Chimes ]
Playing deposition classics.
288
00:11:10,764 --> 00:11:15,566
♪
289
00:11:15,566 --> 00:11:16,863
Have a seat, Mr. Potamus.
290
00:11:16,863 --> 00:11:19,061
[ chuckles ]
Love the vibe.
291
00:11:19,061 --> 00:11:21,226
We’ve been doing
some digging and --
292
00:11:21,226 --> 00:11:22,127
Fine! You got me!
293
00:11:22,127 --> 00:11:23,259
The book doesn’t exist!
294
00:11:23,259 --> 00:11:26,127
I get nervous makin’
small talk at parties!
295
00:11:26,127 --> 00:11:28,127
What are you
talking about?
296
00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:31,797
Mr. Potamus,
we wanted to ask you --
297
00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:32,566
Fine!
You got me!
298
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,962
I helped get Phil Ken Sebben
elected,
299
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:38,698
but you’ll never be able
to prove it!
300
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,259
♪
301
00:11:41,259 --> 00:11:45,424
I don’t even got hooves!
I got hands!
302
00:11:46,731 --> 00:11:49,259
You weren’t supposed
to get this far.
303
00:11:49,259 --> 00:11:50,566
We’re fa--
Shh!
304
00:11:50,566 --> 00:11:54,632
Th-Th-They’ll try
to silence me.
305
00:11:54,632 --> 00:11:55,292
Deadly people.
306
00:11:55,292 --> 00:11:58,896
violent, deadly people
are comin’ for me!
307
00:11:59,698 --> 00:12:02,731
You tell us what you know
about how Dadd--
308
00:12:02,731 --> 00:12:03,764
Phil -- got elected,
309
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:05,962
and we’ll get you protection
and a good sentence.
310
00:12:05,962 --> 00:12:07,863
You and nouns
and verbs.
311
00:12:07,863 --> 00:12:10,061
What the hell.
I’m done in this town.
312
00:12:10,061 --> 00:12:12,929
Everything you need
to know.
313
00:12:13,193 --> 00:12:14,764
Right here.
314
00:12:16,665 --> 00:12:18,665
- Ice cream?
- No, Iceland!
315
00:12:18,665 --> 00:12:19,391
The country!
316
00:12:19,391 --> 00:12:21,896
You try cursivein’
with hooves!
317
00:12:21,896 --> 00:12:23,500
[ tropical birds chirping ]
318
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,061
’Kay.
319
00:12:25,632 --> 00:12:27,358
Oof.
320
00:12:27,358 --> 00:12:28,863
’Kay...
321
00:12:28,863 --> 00:12:30,226
’Kay...
Noh-kay!
322
00:12:30,226 --> 00:12:31,830
So, let me
get this straight, man.
323
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:36,259
We are doing all this, man,
just in case he’s coming over?
324
00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:39,599
Oh, he’ll come over,
all right.
325
00:12:39,599 --> 00:12:41,358
Overdue for a visit.
326
00:12:41,358 --> 00:12:43,424
Only a matter of time.
327
00:12:43,424 --> 00:12:44,566
Think the comma’s
too much?
328
00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:46,599
I thought you had like,
moved on, man.
329
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,830
[ chuckles ]
Oh, I have!
330
00:12:49,830 --> 00:12:53,929
I just want him to see
that I have moved on!
331
00:12:53,929 --> 00:12:55,457
Needs to see it!
332
00:12:55,457 --> 00:12:57,457
[ laughs evilly ]
333
00:12:57,457 --> 00:12:58,929
[ coughs ]
334
00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,358
I’ve gotta give up dairy.
335
00:13:00,358 --> 00:13:03,193
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no!
336
00:13:03,193 --> 00:13:06,061
Those mangoes took hours
to ball!
337
00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:12,127
[ telephone ringing ]
338
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,797
Tangy! Phone!
339
00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:19,358
Eh.
Bring it.
340
00:13:19,358 --> 00:13:20,533
Ernie, it’s me.
341
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,632
- Aburfed?
- Me who?
342
00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:24,028
Me me! Phil!
343
00:13:24,028 --> 00:13:25,929
- Oh, that’s good.
- Ken Sebben!
344
00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:27,500
Who’s that?
- My first name? Phil!
345
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,061
- What?
- Yeah, ol’ Phil Ken Sebben!
346
00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:30,533
- Eh.
- No, that’s my middle name.
347
00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:31,226
- Uh, ri.
- Sebben?
348
00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:32,929
Uh, think it’s Polish.
Don’t know.
[ snoring ]
349
00:13:32,929 --> 00:13:35,500
Listen, I’m having
an Inaugurpeachment,
350
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:38,325
and I need a big,
enormous, dumbass stunt
351
00:13:38,325 --> 00:13:39,863
that’s not gonna
bankrupt the Treasury
352
00:13:39,863 --> 00:13:41,962
because I ran
as a fiscal conservative.
353
00:13:41,962 --> 00:13:44,127
- No, you didn’t.
- Money’s no object.
354
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,962
- Yo!
- Have at it.
355
00:13:45,962 --> 00:13:49,764
[ motor revving ]
356
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,259
You think this is it?
357
00:13:54,599 --> 00:13:56,226
HAVEY: Uh...
358
00:13:56,566 --> 00:13:59,094
Man: Your cares are erased,
your troubles gone...
359
00:13:59,094 --> 00:14:01,830
and just like that,
your cares are erased.
360
00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:06,830
- Cares, cares,
cares are erased, gone...
361
00:14:08,259 --> 00:14:09,193
Uh...
362
00:14:09,193 --> 00:14:10,731
Want to strangle your kids?
363
00:14:10,731 --> 00:14:12,698
Want to strangle
someone else’s kids?
364
00:14:12,698 --> 00:14:15,599
Want to take a vacation
but don’t have the cash?
365
00:14:15,599 --> 00:14:18,127
-Take a Mind Break.- Mind break.
366
00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:21,193
For a small fee, we’ll take
your mind and store it
367
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:24,127
in our beautifully
temperature-controlled vault
368
00:14:24,127 --> 00:14:25,160
in Upstate New York.
369
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,500
- Mind Break --
a staycation for the mind.
370
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,566
Booo-weee-ooooo!
Booo-weee-oooo.
371
00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,193
Mentok
the Mind Taker!
372
00:14:33,193 --> 00:14:34,457
A huge number of
people’s minds
373
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,995
were taken in a single day
several weeks ago.
374
00:14:36,995 --> 00:14:38,325
Did you do that?!
375
00:14:38,325 --> 00:14:40,061
No, that was Elon Musk.
376
00:14:40,061 --> 00:14:41,665
Of course I did that!
377
00:14:41,665 --> 00:14:43,698
I was paid
to break the minds
378
00:14:43,698 --> 00:14:45,500
of 140 million Americans --
379
00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:46,226
and a few Canadians --
380
00:14:46,226 --> 00:14:48,665
so they would go to the polls
and vote a comatose
381
00:14:48,665 --> 00:14:53,632
Phil Ken Sebben into office
and have no memory of doing so!
382
00:14:53,632 --> 00:14:55,698
The perfect crime.
383
00:14:55,698 --> 00:14:57,028
Until I told you about it.
384
00:14:57,028 --> 00:15:01,160
And we have you to thank,
Harvey.
385
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:01,457
What?
386
00:15:01,457 --> 00:15:03,863
You were dead --
hit by a bus.
387
00:15:03,863 --> 00:15:06,457
I swooped in,
mind-broke you,
388
00:15:06,457 --> 00:15:08,226
and repaired your body here
in the lab --
389
00:15:08,226 --> 00:15:11,424
and while I was at it, used you
as an external hard drive
390
00:15:11,424 --> 00:15:15,797
for my extensive airport
thriller audiobook collection!
391
00:15:15,797 --> 00:15:19,797
You were the first
Mind Breaker, the Prototype.
392
00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:22,698
Which is why
I named you Adam.
393
00:15:22,698 --> 00:15:25,127
But my name’s Harvey.
I call you Adam.
394
00:15:25,127 --> 00:15:26,028
Who paid you?!
395
00:15:26,028 --> 00:15:28,731
I hope you brought
your hearin’ ears,
396
00:15:28,731 --> 00:15:30,325
because I’m about to --
[ doorbell rings ]
397
00:15:30,325 --> 00:15:31,665
Oh, that’s the UPS guy.
398
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,797
If I’m not up there
within 15 seconds,
399
00:15:33,797 --> 00:15:36,500
I’m out of toilet paper
for a month.
400
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,929
Bump me.
401
00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:42,424
Latitude
and l-o-o-o-ongitude!
402
00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:44,632
- Why do I have an erec--
- Oh, that’s mine.
403
00:15:44,632 --> 00:15:46,325
Give it back.
Bwoop.
404
00:15:46,325 --> 00:15:48,995
Dierdre:Traffic accident
reported ahead.
405
00:15:48,995 --> 00:15:50,391
Road may be wet.
406
00:15:50,391 --> 00:15:51,698
Recalculating.
407
00:15:51,698 --> 00:15:53,391
Wheeee! Oh!
408
00:15:53,391 --> 00:15:55,061
Hey, it’s Harvey, right?
409
00:15:55,061 --> 00:15:58,391
♪
410
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,566
Exit elevator.
411
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:05,929
In 32 steps, the destination
will be behind the door.
412
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:14,160
Um, if you want the room, you
have to book it through the app.
413
00:16:14,731 --> 00:16:16,863
Blast the flex-workers.
414
00:16:17,731 --> 00:16:19,665
Want my dad’s password
or whatever?
415
00:16:19,665 --> 00:16:20,929
Nah, I just wait
till somebody
416
00:16:20,929 --> 00:16:23,127
puts the whole episode
up on YouTube.
417
00:16:23,127 --> 00:16:24,028
Ohh!
418
00:16:24,028 --> 00:16:24,764
Ahh!
419
00:16:24,764 --> 00:16:27,665
The destination
is in the desk.
420
00:16:27,962 --> 00:16:36,193
♪
421
00:16:36,193 --> 00:16:39,424
If you’re looking for
your stapler, I already sold it.
422
00:16:39,424 --> 00:16:41,325
And your house.
423
00:16:41,863 --> 00:16:43,094
Market was hot.
424
00:16:43,094 --> 00:16:44,127
HARVEY: Quick update. Number one --
425
00:16:44,127 --> 00:16:46,193
There’s a missile
headed toward Washington
426
00:16:46,193 --> 00:16:47,665
that’ll impact in an hour.
[ gasping ]
427
00:16:47,665 --> 00:16:52,500
Two -- President Phil Ken Sebben
fired that missile.
[ gasping ]
428
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,193
Three -- because he’s crazy.
[ gasping ]
429
00:16:55,193 --> 00:16:58,632
Please hold your gasps
until the end. Yes, Hallie?
430
00:16:58,632 --> 00:17:00,226
- So you’re saying he’s crazy?
- Yes.
431
00:17:00,226 --> 00:17:03,995
He was never elected because
it’s not an election year.
432
00:17:03,995 --> 00:17:05,424
Everyone’s brain
was put on pause.
433
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:08,929
You woke up with a new President
and didn’t question it.
434
00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:11,533
It took President Sebben
to question it --
435
00:17:11,533 --> 00:17:14,160
brave, noble and...
436
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,457
my daddy.
437
00:17:15,457 --> 00:17:16,193
Is that a euphemism?
438
00:17:16,193 --> 00:17:18,028
Did the President force
you to role-play?
439
00:17:18,028 --> 00:17:21,259
And who was behind
this illegitimate presidency?
440
00:17:21,259 --> 00:17:24,193
Well, I have the receipt
right here.
441
00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:25,061
It was...
442
00:17:25,061 --> 00:17:26,226
- ice cream?
- Who?
443
00:17:26,226 --> 00:17:27,830
Fine!
You got me!
444
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,028
I did it
for the merch.
445
00:17:29,028 --> 00:17:30,160
These hats
are a gold mine!
446
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:34,599
And when he’s impeached, these
tings’ll be collector’s items!
447
00:17:34,599 --> 00:17:36,533
You still owe me
$12.95.
448
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:39,698
Come on, people,
we got our party to get on!
449
00:17:39,698 --> 00:17:41,995
Now that we’ve established
this man wasn’t elected,
450
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:45,325
we can reinstate the former
President to recall the missile.
451
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,632
Ladies and gentlemen,
Black Vulcan!
452
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:49,127
Miss me much?
453
00:17:49,127 --> 00:17:51,698
"Hey, everyone,
we’re post-racial!"
454
00:17:51,698 --> 00:17:54,632
Uh, what am I doing again?
455
00:17:55,127 --> 00:17:57,698
Key won’t turn.
That’s bad, right?
456
00:17:57,698 --> 00:17:59,127
It’s supposed to turn,
isn’t it?
457
00:17:59,127 --> 00:18:00,226
Of course it won’t!
458
00:18:00,226 --> 00:18:01,500
I’m not impeached!
459
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,292
Read your Constitution, people!
460
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:05,896
Swiped this from
a Gold Star family.
461
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,995
I might have an idea.
462
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,797
[ chuckles ]
463
00:18:11,797 --> 00:18:13,764
Now somebody needs me.
464
00:18:13,764 --> 00:18:16,764
Just as I planned going
on two decades ago.
465
00:18:16,764 --> 00:18:19,698
The prey becomes the...
466
00:18:19,962 --> 00:18:21,061
mm...
467
00:18:21,061 --> 00:18:22,896
the prey.
468
00:18:22,896 --> 00:18:26,028
X, remember that rocket I had
you build, from the, uh...
469
00:18:26,028 --> 00:18:30,193
- the black budget?
- The one we built for killer asteroids?
470
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,896
And white supremacists,
yeah, that one.
471
00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:35,830
We need you to fire it
at a missile headed towards DC.
472
00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:37,698
Oh!
Okay, then!
473
00:18:37,698 --> 00:18:41,533
Let me just --
uh, wait a second here.
474
00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:42,995
What if there is
a killer asteroid?
475
00:18:42,995 --> 00:18:45,896
- Come on!
- Right, right, tomorrow’s problem.
476
00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:48,094
Here we go!
477
00:18:48,358 --> 00:18:51,665
[ motor sputters ]
478
00:18:51,665 --> 00:18:53,797
Come on, come on!
479
00:18:53,797 --> 00:18:56,193
[ motor starts ]
480
00:18:56,193 --> 00:19:00,358
[ dials clicking, squeaking ]
481
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:05,929
[ whistling ]
482
00:19:05,929 --> 00:19:08,731
Hey, you guys do
a pizza roll?
483
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:11,632
Hey!
I didn’t order this!
484
00:19:11,632 --> 00:19:14,292
It was sent
by someone special.
485
00:19:14,292 --> 00:19:16,863
Normally, I’d question why
the last part of your sentence
486
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:20,566
was said so ominously,
but this sushi ain’t normal.
487
00:19:20,566 --> 00:19:23,533
It’s scrum-choo-us.
488
00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:27,160
Could I get another pair
of chopsticks?
489
00:19:28,259 --> 00:19:30,226
Gaah!
[ choking ]
490
00:19:30,226 --> 00:19:30,995
They got me!
491
00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:35,193
Violent, deadly people
got me!
492
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:36,764
Hey, ginger!
493
00:19:36,764 --> 00:19:39,028
Aah!
494
00:19:41,457 --> 00:19:43,896
Uh, can we
hurry this up?
495
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,127
[ cheers and applause ]
496
00:19:52,127 --> 00:19:53,533
[ cellphone rings ]
497
00:19:53,533 --> 00:19:54,160
- PHIL: Not it.
- What?
498
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,457
Don’t know what rocket that was,
but it’s not the one I launched.
499
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:59,358
He’s right,
there’s another rocket.
500
00:19:59,358 --> 00:20:01,358
You got to impeach me.
501
00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:05,797
[ "Hail to the Chief" plays ]
502
00:20:05,797 --> 00:20:08,325
♪
503
00:20:10,764 --> 00:20:14,226
14.3 miles to glory, baby!
504
00:20:14,226 --> 00:20:17,500
Jumpin’ the sw-a-a-a-amp!
505
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:20,292
[ motor revs ]
506
00:20:20,292 --> 00:20:27,061
♪
507
00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:32,863
♪
508
00:20:32,863 --> 00:20:36,028
[ cheers and applause ]
509
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:42,698
♪
510
00:20:42,698 --> 00:20:44,292
Aah!
511
00:20:44,292 --> 00:20:48,325
♪
512
00:20:48,325 --> 00:20:49,797
A-n-n-nd we’re impeached!
513
00:20:49,797 --> 00:20:51,424
The penalty for defacing
a monument
514
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:55,127
is up to five months
in prison or impeachment!
515
00:20:55,127 --> 00:20:57,292
Way to go Da-sident Phil!
516
00:20:57,292 --> 00:20:59,160
Not the Samuel Hahnemann
Memorial!
517
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:03,127
Invented homeopathic medicine.
Completely saved my sinuses.
518
00:21:03,127 --> 00:21:04,127
Look.
519
00:21:04,259 --> 00:21:07,160
I, Black Vulcan,
do solemnly swear --
520
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,797
The rest is boilerplate.
Push it!
521
00:21:13,929 --> 00:21:15,457
After years
of ghost writing,
522
00:21:15,457 --> 00:21:17,764
I was ready not only
to write my own book
523
00:21:17,764 --> 00:21:21,160
but make myself
the hero of my own book.
524
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,424
And the hero...
525
00:21:22,424 --> 00:21:23,863
of your own life.
526
00:21:23,863 --> 00:21:25,061
Oh, meh.
527
00:21:25,061 --> 00:21:28,424
- I’m ready to stop --
- I’m here to announce my new book --
528
00:21:28,424 --> 00:21:32,325
"United States of Amnesia,"
by Phil Ken Sebben!
529
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,094
And soon to be a major
motion picture,
530
00:21:34,094 --> 00:21:35,764
starring Tyler Perry
as me.
531
00:21:35,764 --> 00:21:38,358
But, you know...
urban.
532
00:21:38,358 --> 00:21:42,325
[ birds singing ]
533
00:21:42,325 --> 00:21:44,731
Fish dinner tonight,
honey?
534
00:21:45,424 --> 00:21:47,995
STYLIST: "Even though theirs
was a loving marriage,
535
00:21:47,995 --> 00:21:50,193
and Harvey didn’t
own any firearms,
536
00:21:50,193 --> 00:21:52,863
a jury found him --
and only him --
537
00:21:52,863 --> 00:21:57,193
and certainly not
Phil Ken Sebben, guilty of...
538
00:21:57,193 --> 00:22:00,292
wife and death."
Wait, wait.
539
00:22:00,292 --> 00:22:01,698
Who framed Harvey?
540
00:22:01,698 --> 00:22:03,566
Shush.
541
00:22:04,896 --> 00:22:10,292
♪
542
00:22:10,292 --> 00:22:16,160
♪
543
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,028
[ inhales deeply ]
544
00:22:18,028 --> 00:22:19,226
I live.
545
00:22:19,226 --> 00:22:23,896
I live to send more tings!
546
00:22:23,896 --> 00:22:25,028
Hey, ginger.
547
00:22:25,028 --> 00:22:26,424
Aah!
548
00:22:26,424 --> 00:22:31,632
♪
549
00:22:31,632 --> 00:22:37,226
♪
36804
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