Original subtitles

Boys, this is a terrific piece you two wrote on those missing orphans.

It's poignant, it's real touching. It reminds me of the kings in the ghetto.

Thanks. I just wish we could write a happy ending to it. Find the jerk who

kidnapped them.

Oh, the police still don't have any leads, huh?

No, that's the story.

Twenty kids have been taken from orphanages in the last couple of months

a trace.

And since the police don't have any worried parents screaming in their ears,

they're not exactly making it a top priority.

Well, stay on it.

If anybody can get to the bottom of it, you too can.

Dad, I got to go.

You guys are going to stay with us. No arguments. That is final.

Okay. Okay.

We'll see you when you get here tomorrow.

Love to, Mom. Bye.

You know, it is their anniversary.

Maybe they don't want to stay at our place. Maybe they want to be alone.

Alone?

Yeah. You know, so they can be together.

Celebrate in private.

Lois, come on. These are my parents we're talking about.

Well?

How long have they been together?

35 years.

That's even longer than Alice and I got. We had, well, we had 32 and a half.

Chief, got your personal ad on tomorrow's edition, no problem.

Personal ad?

Well, not like I'm having a whole lot of success dating lately.

Let me see what you wrote.

No, no, no, no, no.

It's just boilerplate likes and dislikes, and it was supposed to have

anonymous.

Sure, yeah, Phil.

How did you guys do that?

How did you even know he had somewhere to go?

Oh, well, I just can't tell you.

What happened? Superman, the man who steals the children, he struck again. He

took Ryan.

Did you see which way he went? No, but he just left. Please, you've got to save

him. Hurry. Okay, I'll see if I can find him.

There you guys are.

I'm starting to get worried.

Oh, sorry, honey. We got stuck in traffic coming from the airport.

Well, Dee, you should let me take you here myself, you know.

Oh, we didn't want to bother you, son. That's why I thought we should stay in a

hotel. No way.

Unless you guys want to be alone.

Jonathan, Martha, happy anniversary.

Well, not yet.

Two more days. Well, it's close.

Congratulations.

So we're just 34 and a half years behind you.

You'll get there.

Oh, we saw that.

Isn't that awful?

Although they're not ruling anything else out, they are working under the

assumption that this case may be connected to the other missing orphans.

Oh, those poor kids.

You have no idea where they're being taken. Whoever's behind this thing must

have lined everything with lead, including the getaway car.

And the really weird thing is, there never seems to be a struggle when these

kids are taken.

It's almost as if they want to go.

It would be a total wreck if that ever happened to my kid.

Oh, cab's still on the meter. Clark, will you help me with the bags, please?

Sure, yeah.

Are you okay, honey?

Me? Yeah, I'm fine.

This whole story just got me thinking about having babies.

Lois?

Are you trying to tell me something?

What?

Oh, you think that I'm... Oh, no, I'm not. No, I'm not, really. I mean, not

I wouldn't want to be. I mean, I wouldn't want to be right this second,

just been crossing my mind lately.

I see.

Actually, we're waiting for Dr. Klein to tell us if we can even have kids.

Did you ever have any qualms about raising children after you started

I mean, did you ever think that...

You might not be able to handle the responsibility.

Oh, no.

Not once I decided I was ready.

And I'll know that I'm ready for this how exactly?

You just will.

When you are, you'll know. Believe me.

Hmm.

And how are the little tykes doing today? Just fine, Dr. Cripsley. Just

every day, thanks to you. And thanks to you, too, Wendy. After all, look how

happy you make them.

Well, I get as much out of it as they do, believe me.

Plus, the beat's working in the toy store.

Here. I made them some toys.

New ones, too.

They're not even out in the stores yet.

Now, make sure the new boy, Ryan, gets first pick.

You're spoiling them.

They deserve to be spoiled.

They're all neglected and forgotten children, betrayed by the adults of the

world who would deny them their fantasies, their childhood.

Just like you deserve better when you're a child, I'll bet. That's none of your

business!

I don't ever want to hear you talk about my childhood here again! Do you

understand me?

Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Remember, Wendy, this is a place for happy thoughts only.

Okay? Now, why don't you hand out these to us?

What is this?

Oh.

I thought that you might want to see that. It seemed to me it was like that

you were telling me you had.

Star Labs, a subsidiary of Dynacord International, is rumored to be ready to

unveil their latest technological breakthrough.

The Reintegrator.

A device which will be able to disintegrate matter, transport it across

and then rematerialize it.

What's wrong?

See? This is exactly why you can never trust adults, Wendy. They'll stab you in

the back every time.

This is the prototype for the reintegrator. I spent years

developing this.

This is my idea.

You mean Dinocord stole it from you? I pitched this to their board of directors

years ago when I worked in their toy division. I had hoped to finally be

recognized as a legitimate scientist.

Instead, they laughed at me.

They mocked me. They called me a quack. And then they told me to get back to my

toy. Now I discover that they've assigned a scientist from Star Labs to

its development without me.

But it's your invention.

You ought to sue them.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

That's the adult way of doing things.

My way is far more childish and juvenile and therefore more punitive, which

makes it more fun.

The reintegrator.

was my baby, and they stole it from me. Therefore, I think it's only right that

I steal their babies from them.

Probably rotten parents anyway.

Steal their children?

Dr. Cripsley, you can't do that.

Not without help, I can't. And this is just the man who'll help me.

Dr. Bernard Klein.

Dr. Klein?

Yes?

Oh, look how cute.

Where'd you come from?

You're coming with us, Klein.

Excuse me?

Let's go.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Hector, I should have known.

Beg your pardon, Dr. Klein?

Hector!

Hard to call it a kidnapping when there's no kidnapper.

Maybe it's some kind of mind control or a hallucination or maybe even some kind

of invisible man.

Clark, listen to us.

What do we do for a living?

What was that sound?

Can you rewind that?

What do you think?

It sounds like a sick duck.

Hello? Is anybody there?

Help?

Welcome, Dr.

Klein! Oh, thank God! At least you're not another toy.

You're not, right?

My name is Dr. Cripsley.

Does that ring any bells for you?

Dr. Cripsley?

Harold Cripsley, the toy inventor?

I'm flattered.

Well, sure, I've heard of you.

Well, you were a legend in the toy division. I used to read about you all

time in the company newsletter.

You're supposed to be brilliant, a wunderkind.

Whatever happened to you?

I went mad.

Oh.

Well, I never would have guessed.

Are all those your children?

They are now.

And you're going to help me get more.

Specifically, all the sons and daughters of Dynacord's board of directors.

What? I will not. Sure you will.

And you're going to do that by telling me exactly how to make my reintegrator

fully operational.

Reintegrator, now.

What's a reintegrator?

Last chance, Dr. Klein.

I will never tell you, no matter what you do to me.

Oh, no?

Chico?

Nice wheels.

Stow it, Doc. I'm not interested.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dr.

Demento is in the house.

Still think you can get me to tell you how to make the reintegrator work?

Not.

Actually, thanks to Chico's tooth serum, you already did.

The part was right where you said it would be, too.

What's that thing do, anyway?

It's quite ingenious, really.

What I could never figure out was how to consistently rematerialize the

transported matter into its original form.

This transponder actually codes each separate molecule of the disintegrated

object so they can be decoded upon reintegration.

Whatever. Tell me, Doctor, how exactly were you able to accurately calibrate

emitter beam?

Easy. I simply implanted a ruby prism in the microcircuitry, just like a laser.

I can't believe I just told you that.

Wouldn't it be great if every adult were as truthful as you are, Dr. Klein?

If they were, I wouldn't have to punish them.

All right, Brittany.

Time to pack up your toys.

You don't want to be late for your piano lesson.

Come on.

It's a toy.

I don't remember that.

But put it away. We've got to go.

Really?

There, that's everything.

All right, Brittany.

Brittany?

Brittany?

Brittany? Her name's Brittany.

She's my only child.

We're really sorry about what happened, Mr. Turner, but shouldn't you be talking

to the police?

I read your articles about those other missing kids.

I was hoping maybe you'd know something the police don't.

Those kids were all parentless, Mr. Turner.

Underprivileged. You're the CEO of a huge conglomerate. Which means most

it's an unrelated kidnapping. But if it was just that, why haven't I received a

ransom demand?

Where exactly was Brittany when she was taken?

She was at the park.

The nanny said she was playing with one of her toys. The next thing she knew,

Brittany was gone.

She never even saw what happened to her.

Do you have any kids?

Oh, no.

Not yet, anyway.

Well, when you do, you'll realize that they mean everything to you.

The world.

We'll do everything that we possibly can, Mr. Turner. I promise you.

Wait. Does Dynacor own Star Labs?

Well, it's one of our subsidiaries.

Why would you ask that?

Well, here, in Jimmy's research on Dr. Klein's recent projects, I just noticed

that Dynacor's name is on Star Labs' letterhead. But what does that mean?

Well, Dr.

Klein from Star Labs was abducted. It could be related to your daughter.

We need a list of everyone who might have a grudge against you or Dynacor.

competitors, ex -employees, anyone you can think of. I'll do it right away.

Thank you.

Chief, got a sec?

No, not now, Jimmy. I'm hip deep in red ink here.

Well, it's just that you got a response to your personal act.

Here, it's this one.

You like to curl up by the fire, so do I. You're a hopeless romantic, so am I.

You're a lonely guy, so am I.

What? What's this? I'm sorry, Chief. It's this one. I'm sorry.

Dear Hound Dog, that's me being anonymous.

I, too, love Elvis and a good book, Moonlit Walks, Pina Coladas.

Have you been looking for me as long as I've been looking for you?

Whoa. Sounds like a match.

You going to respond to her in tomorrow's personals? I don't know.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well, I better have her meet me here, though.

Just in case she turns out to be an axe murderer.

Mommy!

You're going to love it here, Brittany.

You'll see.

Just give it time. All the little kids love it here.

It's okay, sweetie.

I know.

I know.

Hey, yo, toy guy.

Would it be too much to ask for a set of earplugs? I'm getting a headache here.

I've got bigger problems to worry about. I just heard through the grapevine that

Lois Lane and Clark Kent are starting to interview ex -employees of Dynacord.

Well, then you are done for, pal. Lois and Clark are like pitbull. They're the

best.

Thanks for the tip.

Looks like I'll just have to kill them now.

Wait, what?

Don't tell me I'm still blurting out the truth. Great show.

That's it.

You've gone too far this time. I quit.

Wendy, what's the matter? You're sick.

That's what's the matter.

It's one thing to rescue orphans so we can take care of them, but it's another

thing to rip a perfectly happy child away from her parents.

It's wrong.

To be honest, it's all wrong.

Shut up!

Look, if this is about Brittany, you just need to give her some more time.

doesn't need time.

She needs a mommy.

Her mommy.

You took her for all the wrong reasons.

As far as I'm concerned, that makes you just as bad as all the evil adults you

denounce. I can't be a part of this anymore.

I won't. But what about all the other children? You can't just walk out on

I'm not walking out on them.

I'm walking out on you. And I'm going straight to the police unless you let

go. Wait!

Okay.

Look.

I don't want you here if you're not happy.

It defeats the whole purpose.

And I don't want you going away mad at me either.

They're all.

You're the only adult I ever trusted.

You've been so good with the kids.

At least take something of them with you as a token of our appreciation.

This is the first toy I ever made.

If this is some kind of trick... No trick.

Scout's honor.

Please. Well, okay.

She's beautiful.

teach you to talk back to me! But you never set the controls to reassemble her

molecules. Without that, she's as good as... What?

Dead? Well, eventually, that's what happens when you grow up!

I don't know, Clark.

Maybe the little girl's kidnapping isn't connected to Dr.

Klein. How many more names do we have in that Dynacord list?

Seven. I just hope one of them pans out or it's back to square one.

Listen, both Jonathan and I know how hard you two are working right now, and

just want you to know that if you can't celebrate our anniversary with us

tomorrow night, we absolutely understand.

No way, Mom. We are definitely coming.

What a bad time!

We're starved! What in the world?

Quite a little guy, huh?

I found him waddling up to the front door.

Isn't he the cutest thing?

It would be great to give it to a grandkid.

Jonathan.

Wait a minute.

Everybody all right? Yeah, but that was close.

Too close, which means that somebody obviously thinks we're getting too close

them. I just wish we knew who we were supposedly getting too close to.

And we've pushed somebody's buttons all right.

At least we're on the right track.

Toys. What?

That's it.

That's the common denominator. Everything is connected to toys.

Dynacord has a toy division, and we heard that toy quack when Dr. Klein was

abducted. Brittany Turner was playing with the toy when she disappeared.

That, plus the explosion.

Where's that list?

Harold Cripsley, toy maker.

Fired six months ago.

He just moved to the top of the list. Uh -huh.

I think we should put you two up in a hotel until the thing's over. It's too

dangerous here.

Come on, Martha.

Let's let them do their job.

Hello? Now maybe we can do a little celebrating in private.

Finally. Hey, Jimmy, what's up?

Okay.

Thanks.

Two more Dynacord board members' kids just disappeared.

Whoops. Sorry about that.

I was just fooling around.

Are you Harold Cripsley?

Yes.

Lois Lane Clark Kent. We're reporters from the Daily Planet.

But... I thought you two worked at the Chronicle. Oh, no, no, no.

Do you mind if we ask you a few questions anyway?

No, no, not at all. Okay. Mr. Cripsley, you... Actually, it's Dr.

Cripsley. Oh, I'm sorry.

Dr. Cripsley. You used to work at the toy division at Dynacor.

Yes, I was one of their inventors. I came up with the hovering morph car. It

all the rage two Christmases ago. I remember it with a big hit.

So why did Dynacor fire you?

Oh, well, you know, I guess they didn't like my attitude.

I mean, I was just an overgrown kid in a world of suits and tie. I didn't really

fit in.

Must have been pretty upsetting, though, wasn't it?

Sure, yeah. I mean, I'm only human.

But it's all worked out for the best. I'm much happier here, running my little

toy store. I like being my own boss.

Do you know who Alex Turner is?

Sure, yeah. He's like the big cheese at Dynacor.

His daughter was kidnapped yesterday.

Kidnapped? Oh, my God.

Wait, you don't think that I... Oh, hey.

Look, I would never do anything to harm a child, ever. I love kids.

We're not saying you would. We're just investigating all of our possibilities,

that's all.

Oh, okay, because I don't know anything about it. Cross my heart and hope to

die.

No, well, we thank you very much for your time. Okay.

Oh, hey, I sure hope you find that little tyke.

Hard to believe he's the evil villain behind the curtain, isn't it?

Yeah, but he's still one of the only names in the list connected to toys.

We should have Jimmy run a background check on him anyway.

See if he has any exploding ducks in his closet.

Good idea.

Maybe we should split up the rest of this list before any other kids

I'll take the lawyer and the board member who were fired. You take the

two. All right, deal. First one back to the planet, win?

You're on. Okay.

Hey, no fair flight.

You know what?

Hey, kid.

Why the long faces?

Why isn't anybody playing?

We want to go home.

But this is better than home.

This is a kid's world where the only rule is kid's rule!

Come on, kids!

Who wants to play video games?

Yay!

The truth is, it was a bad idea to kill off Wendy.

Yeah? Who asked you?

God, when will that truth serum wear off?

Eat -em -up burger.

Yeah. I need 30 cheeseburgers, 30 large fries, and 30 chocolate shakes right

away. Could you make mine vanilla?

Shut up. No, not you. I'll be right there.

Just need that last board member kid.

And I am done. Those pesky reporters are mucking everything up. I told you they

were good.

Look, do you want to vanish just like Wendy did? The truth is, you need me.

I understand the machine, and you don't. I'm a scientist.

You're just a toy man.

Dammit, Klein.

Shut your mouth!

Do you understand me, or you are dead?

Do you understand me?

Dead.

The bad man.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Please stop crying.

Really.

Well, how about if I give you a dollar?

Would you like that?

Okay, 50. That's my final offer.

Hey, what did you do to him?

Nothing. I just said hello.

Are you okay, Joey?

Okay. What do you want? I'm just looking for Mr. Steele. And who are you?

Lois Lane. I'm a reporter, and I'm doing a story on Dynacord. I know he used to

be on the board of directors.

Well, he's on vacation.

He'll be back on Tuesday.

Oh.

What's this?

Look, Joey, it's addressed to you.

That's a good thing, then. Do you think you could get a hold of him? It's very

important. Oh, look.

It's a Superman toy.

You like that, don't you?

Where'd that toy come from?

Here. Here you go. Oh, wait.

Hey, what's the matter with you? Oh, no, you don't understand.

It could be dangerous.

Hey, lady, get your own damn doll.

What are you doing here?

Dr. Klein, are you all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Thank you. But the truth is, Lois...

You're a goner.

I wouldn't. See, this only looks like a toy.

You are not supposed to be here.

Joey Steele is.

Why do adults like you always screw things up?

Sorry. It's what I do.

I thought I had gotten rid of you once before, Miss Lane. I'm not going to make

that mistake again.

It's time to say night -night.

Wait, wait.

Not in front of the children.

Go to bed!

You know what your problem is, Cripsley?

You don't think ahead.

What's that supposed to mean? It means, first Wendy, now Lois. You keep getting

rid of mother figures, you're never going to make those kids happy again.

What are you talking about?

She's not a mother.

But that doesn't mean I'm not qualified.

In high school, I was the most popular babysitter in my neighborhood.

And Sound of Music is my favorite movie.

Except, of course, for Toy Story.

I love Toy Story.

Well, there you go.

Still, I... I don't know.

But I guess it's worth a try.

I mean, if it doesn't work out, I can always kill you anyway, right?

Making it a win -win situation.

In the meantime, I've got to cover my tracks so that husband of yours doesn't

follow.

I think I'll arrange to meet him at the toy store and then blow it up. That's

cool, huh?

And don't bother yelling for that super grown -up either. This kiddie plays to

soundproof.

How's it going?

Hi, kid. I'm Frankie the Frog.

What's all your name?

Rivet?

No?

Oh. Oh, wow. Look at this.

It's a monster with poisonous fangs and

visible intestines.

Who wouldn't want to play with this?

I don't exactly know what happened. She just suddenly disappeared before my very

eyes. Lois wasn't holding a toy in her hand by any chance, was she?

She must have known. That's why she didn't want Joey to have it. Known what?

What did she say?

She said it could be dangerous.

She saved Joey, Mr. Kent.

Oh, my God, I hope she's all right.

Excuse me.

Lois, is that you? No, CK, it's Jimmy.

I found out why Cripsley got fired.

Apparently he tried to sell the board on some crazy invention of his and then

got ballistic when they turned him down.

What was the invention?

Something called the reintegrator. From what I gather, it's supposed to make

things vanish in one place and then reappear somewhere else.

Sounds like beat -me -up Scotty to me.

Oh, one more thing.

Cripsley just called here for you.

He said if you wanted to meet him, you knew where to find him. Does that make

any sense to you?

CK? Mr. Kent?

I miss my doggy. I'm scared.

Oh, listen.

I've got something for you.

How about a story?

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who had to leave his home because his

planet was going to explode.

And his mommy and daddy, they didn't have time to build a spaceship big

for the whole family.

So they built one just for him so that he had time to escape.

And then he traveled millions and millions of miles through space

until he landed here on Earth.

And he was really, really scared, too, because he missed his home and his

mommy and daddy, just like you guys.

But you know who that little boy turned out to be?

This little boy turned out to be Superman.

Superman was scared too?

But you know what he did?

He reached down inside and he found out that he was also really, really brave.

So when you're your most sad,

or you're most scared, you just remember that Superman was scared once, too.

And if you believe in yourself, then everything will work out for the best.

The end.

Yay!

Dr.

Klein. Lois, that was amazing. I'm impressed. How did you know what to do?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I saw it in some old movie or something.

Maybe just maternal instinct.

Nah.

You think?

Listen, I've got an idea how to let Clark know where we are. Oh, Cripsley

got word to him to go to the toy store. How are you going to reach Clark before

Cripsley does?

Do you think you can reach the reintegrator controls?

No. No, I can't.

You have to try.

I'm telling you, I can't.

Look, once there was this little boy... Yes, Lois, I heard the story.

All

right,

Cripsley, where are you?

What now?

I'm writing a message to Clark.

I don't want it to be too obvious in case Cripsley sees it first.

What do you think?

The truth?

It sucks.

Never mind. Just set the controls for the toy store.

Okay, but how are you going to get the drawing to the transponder?

Just hurry.

Cripsley?

Easy. See?

Easy. A little to the left.

Careful, careful. You're going too fast.

Watch out! Watch out! You're going... Nicely

done.

Okay, now!

What are you doing?

What are you two doing?

I knew I shouldn't have trusted you, adult.

Well, I'm going to do what I should have done right off the bat, starting with

you, Klein.

I forget.

Which is it, Bernie?

Do you implode in deep space or explode?

All right, Cripsley.

Playtime is over.

Superman, if you so much as twitch, one of those

oversized pets of yours, those kids will become space debris.

Understand?

I don't believe you'd do it.

I think you care too much about those kids to ever hurt them. Superman, I

mean to be critical, but what the hell do you think you're doing?

He could never hurt a child.

At least not intentionally, anyway.

It's against everything that he's about.

Let them go, Dr. Cryptley.

They don't want to be in this place, not forever.

Just because you don't want to live with rules and regulations doesn't mean

that's what they want.

They need rules. They need structure. That's what makes them feel secure.

That's exactly what an adult would say. That's why I ought to push this button

to spare them a life of being betrayed and abused by lying, hypocritical,

two -faced, evil adults.

What do you think of that?

I think that would be a big mistake.

used to be scared?

Of course.

Everyone gets scared.

Poor guy.

Ah, Jimmy.

Look, son, I appreciate you hanging here with me, but let's face it.

The old hound dog got stood up. Aw, come on, Chief. Don't give up yet. It's only

two and a half hours late.

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, Chief.

Ah, you know, things that seem too good to be true, they usually are.

Go on, get the hell out of here. All right.

Good night.

Yeah.

Flowers?

For me?

Alice?

What are you doing here?

Responding to your ad.

Hound dog.

Now, wait a minute.

Your Moonlight Walks?

Pina Coladas?

Afraid so.

I just put the ad in for fun. I didn't really expect anything to come of it.

Certainly not this.

I don't know what to say.

Well, figuring that we haven't spoken since the divorce, that's

Believe me, Perry, I didn't even realize it was you.

Not until I found out.

Where you wanted to meet.

That's why I'm so late.

I couldn't decide if it was a good idea or not.

Well... Jeez.

Alice, uh... I... I guess it wasn't a very good idea

after all.

I... I better go.

No, no, no, no, no.

Wait.

Don't. Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, really. Here,

here, honey.

Are you sure you guys don't want to stay for night camp or something?

No, thanks. Your mother and I are going to head on back to the hotel.

Well, you know, you can stay here if you want to. It's...

Safe now, I promise.

All right.

You two really do want to be alone.

Thanks for the wonderful dinner.

And the beautiful friends.

That thing we were talking about before, about being ready, I think I know.

Jonathan, we have to go.

Goodbye. Bye.

What was this all about?

Oh, just... Girl talk?

I'll tell you about it upstairs.

Why upstairs?

Guess.