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JANE AUSTEN WRECKED MY LIFE
4
00:04:06,241 --> 00:04:09,241
Who's this bug?
What are you doing here?
5
00:04:10,401 --> 00:04:13,281
Are your PJs in the wash?
6
00:04:14,281 --> 00:04:15,361
Yes.
7
00:04:17,521 --> 00:04:19,441
What a comfortable pillow!
8
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,481
Nice and fluffy.
9
00:04:22,921 --> 00:04:24,241
Where's your mum?
10
00:04:24,961 --> 00:04:27,241
She's asleep.
There's a guy in her bed.
11
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,961
How do you know
there isn't one in mine?
12
00:04:30,161 --> 00:04:31,681
I've never seen one…
13
00:04:33,521 --> 00:04:36,281
Maybe he's hiding under my bed!
14
00:04:40,041 --> 00:04:40,721
Hey!
15
00:04:43,441 --> 00:04:45,961
Tom, my son,
and Agathe, my sister.
16
00:04:46,921 --> 00:04:48,281
And this is…
17
00:04:48,961 --> 00:04:50,601
- Raphael.
- Gabriel.
18
00:04:51,561 --> 00:04:52,641
Hi.
19
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:54,521
Bye, pumpkin.
20
00:04:54,721 --> 00:04:57,201
I'm late, I'm opening the pool at 8.
21
00:04:57,401 --> 00:04:59,041
I'd love a green tea.
22
00:05:00,481 --> 00:05:02,161
I'm coffee intolerant.
23
00:05:02,521 --> 00:05:03,681
Sorry.
24
00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:07,441
Bye, zebra.
I'll pick you up at teatime.
25
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:08,481
See you later!
26
00:05:08,681 --> 00:05:11,041
- Bye, er, Raphael.
- Gabriel.
27
00:05:14,321 --> 00:05:15,521
Right…
28
00:05:16,481 --> 00:05:18,121
A bit of a memory issue.
29
00:05:33,161 --> 00:05:35,361
You're so bloody slow!
30
00:05:37,441 --> 00:05:39,041
God, you're so slow!
31
00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:42,001
Are you OK?
32
00:05:42,521 --> 00:05:43,641
Shit, sorry.
33
00:05:43,841 --> 00:05:44,841
She's barking.
34
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:51,441
My little secret is the stewed onions.
35
00:05:52,161 --> 00:05:54,521
Look, it's her again.
36
00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:57,041
I can't stand her any more.
37
00:05:58,121 --> 00:06:00,601
Ever heard of the concept
of "breadcrumber"?
38
00:06:02,121 --> 00:06:03,121
No, never.
39
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:06,361
- It was tailor-made for you.
- What is it?
40
00:06:06,961 --> 00:06:08,761
You give girls attention,
41
00:06:08,961 --> 00:06:11,881
the hope of something special,
but never commit.
42
00:06:12,681 --> 00:06:14,241
You leave everything to stew!
43
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,121
Girls, onions…
44
00:06:18,561 --> 00:06:19,561
See?
45
00:06:20,121 --> 00:06:22,081
You keep them hanging on…
46
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:23,841
- Hey!
- … just in case.
47
00:06:24,041 --> 00:06:26,601
Give me a break!
What would you know anyway?
48
00:06:26,801 --> 00:06:29,641
Your only relationship
is with your sandwich.
49
00:06:30,721 --> 00:06:32,961
You're so vulgar, madam.
50
00:06:33,161 --> 00:06:35,761
With that drop of sauce,
you're disgusting tool.
51
00:06:38,641 --> 00:06:39,441
No, stop!
52
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:41,241
Shit!
53
00:06:41,441 --> 00:06:42,721
All right?
54
00:06:46,561 --> 00:06:47,601
Hang on.
55
00:06:57,281 --> 00:06:58,361
When d'you last shag?
56
00:06:58,561 --> 00:07:00,801
Speak properly.
I can't understand you.
57
00:07:01,001 --> 00:07:02,681
Come on, tell me the truth.
58
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:03,921
Shut it!
59
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,481
What are you waiting for?
60
00:07:10,321 --> 00:07:11,441
Mark Darcy?
61
00:07:12,401 --> 00:07:14,081
Afraid he'll never show up?
62
00:07:14,281 --> 00:07:16,761
- I'm not afraid.
- Sure, you are.
63
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:21,201
You're scared of suffering,
love affairs, one-night stands.
64
00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:23,241
You're scared of apps.
65
00:07:24,161 --> 00:07:26,561
You're scared.
You don't live, you hide.
66
00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:28,281
I don't, it's just that…
67
00:07:28,601 --> 00:07:30,721
I'm not into Uber sex.
68
00:07:30,921 --> 00:07:34,041
I don't do digital.
I don't want to have to "like" guys
69
00:07:34,241 --> 00:07:37,561
or hear them tiptoe off
so as not to wake me up.
70
00:07:40,641 --> 00:07:42,641
I'm not living in the right century.
71
00:08:12,401 --> 00:08:13,841
- Agathe?
- Yes.
72
00:08:14,041 --> 00:08:15,281
Let go.
73
00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:20,401
I'm not sure I can write
to a dead person.
74
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,201
Nobody's forcing you to be here.
75
00:08:24,081 --> 00:08:26,721
You churn out cheap romances.
76
00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:29,321
It wouldn't hurt
to explore something else.
77
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:32,801
You need to be in tune
with the times, Agathe.
78
00:09:00,401 --> 00:09:01,921
Excuse me.
79
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:06,681
Could I have the ladies version?
80
00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:09,241
- I'll fetch one right away.
- Thank you.
81
00:09:27,841 --> 00:09:30,241
It's on the house.
82
00:09:35,681 --> 00:09:36,761
Thank you.
83
00:11:10,561 --> 00:11:12,921
Wear your green socks.
Change socks.
84
00:11:14,361 --> 00:11:16,281
Félix is snoring on our couch!
85
00:11:16,481 --> 00:11:17,561
Again?
86
00:11:17,961 --> 00:11:20,401
Wake him up.
Tell him to make you toast.
87
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:22,481
His feet stink!
88
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:24,481
I know, but he's sweet.
89
00:11:48,001 --> 00:11:49,441
Sorry, sorry.
90
00:11:51,121 --> 00:11:52,201
Why are you still here?
91
00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:55,521
Hey, Bukowski,
could you go take a shower?
92
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,801
Don't push it, you!
93
00:12:04,281 --> 00:12:06,641
You read it?
It isn't even finished!
94
00:12:06,841 --> 00:12:09,001
- Félix, that's not on.
- Calm down.
95
00:12:09,201 --> 00:12:10,361
It's good.
96
00:12:10,561 --> 00:12:12,121
Very good, even.
97
00:12:12,681 --> 00:12:15,881
Seriously.
It's a little weird like you, but…
98
00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:18,361
it's touching.
99
00:12:19,201 --> 00:12:20,641
It's not bad at all.
100
00:12:21,401 --> 00:12:22,881
What happens next?
101
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,201
I don't know, as usual.
102
00:12:25,401 --> 00:12:28,881
It's the umpteenth story
I've started and can't finish.
103
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,721
You must. I want to know
what happens next.
104
00:12:34,201 --> 00:12:36,121
Writing in English suits you.
105
00:12:38,081 --> 00:12:39,321
It's really good.
106
00:13:07,801 --> 00:13:10,241
Do you have a Jane Austen
for every circumstance?
107
00:13:10,641 --> 00:13:11,561
Yes.
108
00:13:12,841 --> 00:13:14,321
What would you recommend to me?
109
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:16,401
Mansfield Park.
110
00:13:17,721 --> 00:13:19,641
- Henry Crawford is you.
- Why?
111
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,761
He's a liar and a seducer.
112
00:13:22,881 --> 00:13:26,721
A Casanova caught out at his own game
when he falls in love.
113
00:13:27,881 --> 00:13:28,921
And who would you be?
114
00:13:29,481 --> 00:13:31,201
Anne Elliot in Persuasion.
115
00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:34,361
Why?
116
00:13:34,961 --> 00:13:37,481
Because she's an old maid
117
00:13:37,681 --> 00:13:40,361
who has wilted like a flower
in need of water.
118
00:13:45,881 --> 00:13:48,761
She has let life pass her by.
119
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,801
For an old dried-up flower,
you smell good.
120
00:15:30,481 --> 00:15:31,761
What's that?
121
00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:36,041
An invite from
the Jane Austen Residency
122
00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:38,961
to spend two weeks
at their writers' retreat.
123
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,201
They liked my first chapters?
124
00:15:48,761 --> 00:15:50,361
Fuck, don't tell me it was you!
125
00:15:50,561 --> 00:15:52,721
You needed a kick up the arse.
126
00:15:53,201 --> 00:15:54,441
Thanks.
127
00:15:56,481 --> 00:15:57,761
But I can't.
128
00:15:57,961 --> 00:15:59,481
- Why?
- You know why.
129
00:15:59,681 --> 00:16:02,161
- Don't bail.
- How do I get there? By bike?
130
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:03,201
Great idea!
131
00:16:03,721 --> 00:16:05,681
Let's call Mona and celebrate.
132
00:16:06,041 --> 00:16:08,441
No, forget it.
You won't change my mind.
133
00:16:08,641 --> 00:16:12,321
You're so annoying.
I could bite you.
134
00:16:41,281 --> 00:16:43,481
- You OK, pumpkin?
- Yes.
135
00:16:43,681 --> 00:16:45,121
- Did you sleep well?
- Yes.
136
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,561
When does the retreat start?
137
00:16:55,001 --> 00:16:57,081
Tom, do you want to go the zoo?
138
00:16:57,281 --> 00:16:58,801
Yes! I'll get dressed.
139
00:17:00,161 --> 00:17:02,401
- Can I say something?
- Nope.
140
00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:04,721
I'm going to, anyway.
141
00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:06,961
It starts in three days.
142
00:17:07,601 --> 00:17:09,681
I can cover for you at the bookshop.
143
00:17:09,881 --> 00:17:10,921
So we're good.
144
00:17:13,721 --> 00:17:16,241
Plan to spend your life
cycling around Paris,
145
00:17:16,441 --> 00:17:18,441
moaning about writer's block?
146
00:17:19,561 --> 00:17:22,801
Leave me alone, you two!
I can't go, OK?
147
00:17:23,281 --> 00:17:25,561
I can't get back in a car.
148
00:17:26,161 --> 00:17:27,441
Is that clear enough?
149
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,401
What the hell are you doing?
150
00:17:36,761 --> 00:17:38,441
Duh, eating. I'm hungry.
151
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,081
Oh really?
152
00:17:42,401 --> 00:17:45,281
Cold pasta at 2 am…
153
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,001
Can't you be like Duras?
154
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:53,601
Drink whisky, take pills,
something a bit more flamboyant?
155
00:17:55,361 --> 00:17:56,961
Nice. Thanks.
156
00:17:57,921 --> 00:17:59,161
Hey…
157
00:17:59,361 --> 00:18:01,321
what the fuck is wrong with you?
158
00:18:03,321 --> 00:18:06,641
I know you're disappointed
but this trip is too much for me.
159
00:18:10,401 --> 00:18:12,201
You stupid cow!
160
00:18:14,121 --> 00:18:15,801
I'm sick of your bullshit.
161
00:18:16,001 --> 00:18:18,401
You've put your life on hold
since the accident.
162
00:18:18,881 --> 00:18:21,161
You refuse to go back
to the Bergeronette.
163
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,601
I've had to spend every summer there
164
00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:25,641
alone with Tom since he was born.
165
00:18:30,241 --> 00:18:31,361
Sorry.
166
00:18:33,801 --> 00:18:34,921
Are you OK?
167
00:18:36,201 --> 00:18:37,681
No. I'm having a panic attack.
168
00:18:37,881 --> 00:18:39,961
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
169
00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,801
- I can't.
- Come on, breathe.
170
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:49,281
- Give me a cigarette.
- No! You struggled to quit.
171
00:18:49,481 --> 00:18:51,961
- Give me a fucking cig!
- Hang on, calm down.
172
00:18:55,081 --> 00:18:56,201
Here you go.
173
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,601
Give me one.
174
00:19:02,801 --> 00:19:04,921
What are you doing?
Cut that out!
175
00:19:16,081 --> 00:19:18,881
Agathe, you're such a pain.
176
00:19:29,441 --> 00:19:32,961
Excuse me, a dangerous individual
is hiding in your group.
177
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:35,841
Give me a break!
178
00:19:36,881 --> 00:19:40,081
Félix, do you honestly think
I'm a match for published authors?
179
00:19:40,281 --> 00:19:43,601
Of course!
You've just got impostor syndrome.
180
00:19:43,801 --> 00:19:46,601
No, I don't, I'm a genuine impostor.
181
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:59,481
In my heart I have a funny Sicilian song
182
00:19:59,681 --> 00:20:04,281
That you know by heart
Because my life resembles yours
183
00:20:04,481 --> 00:20:08,801
I love you more
Than the volcanoes of Italy
184
00:20:11,481 --> 00:20:12,721
Remember this?
185
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,881
I love you the Italian way
186
00:20:25,041 --> 00:20:26,961
My heart pounds
187
00:20:27,161 --> 00:20:29,441
I speak with my hands
188
00:20:29,921 --> 00:20:34,521
And I see red when you talk to anyone
189
00:20:34,721 --> 00:20:39,281
When the south wind plays la musica
190
00:20:39,481 --> 00:20:43,081
I sing along with it, just for you
191
00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:47,921
I love you the Italian way
192
00:21:22,321 --> 00:21:23,881
It feels good to see the sea.
193
00:21:24,321 --> 00:21:25,521
You were right.
194
00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:30,361
I miss the Bergeronette.
195
00:21:32,121 --> 00:21:33,321
I know.
196
00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:41,801
Here…
197
00:21:43,281 --> 00:21:46,081
for your nerves,
take half a pill on the ferry
198
00:21:46,281 --> 00:21:48,201
and the other half before bed.
199
00:21:48,401 --> 00:21:49,481
You'll feel better, OK?
200
00:21:50,721 --> 00:21:53,841
How do you know
I won't get anaphylactic shock or…?
201
00:25:58,801 --> 00:25:59,881
Hello?
202
00:26:00,761 --> 00:26:02,761
Not at all.
I don't know where we are.
203
00:26:02,961 --> 00:26:05,081
Our car just broke down in a forest.
204
00:26:05,761 --> 00:26:07,041
Plus I'm stuck
205
00:26:07,241 --> 00:26:10,761
with Jane Austen's
great-great-great-nephew.
206
00:26:12,041 --> 00:26:14,641
No, he's unbearable, really arrogant
207
00:26:14,841 --> 00:26:16,641
and totally stuck-up.
208
00:26:16,841 --> 00:26:18,441
I've never seen the like.
209
00:26:18,761 --> 00:26:20,881
I threw up on his shoes, too.
210
00:26:21,281 --> 00:26:23,321
Hello? Mona?
211
00:26:24,921 --> 00:26:26,721
Shit, I'm out of battery!
212
00:26:33,561 --> 00:26:35,441
I speak French, you know.
213
00:26:39,361 --> 00:26:40,321
Shit.
214
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:50,361
Sorry.
215
00:26:52,321 --> 00:26:54,801
I lived with a French woman
for five years.
216
00:26:55,521 --> 00:26:57,001
One of my worst-ever decisions.
217
00:26:58,041 --> 00:27:01,681
And you're rude to French women
because she dumped you.
218
00:27:06,601 --> 00:27:09,241
You don't how to fix your car, do you?
219
00:27:10,361 --> 00:27:11,961
Not a clue.
220
00:27:13,641 --> 00:27:15,001
Do you have service?
221
00:27:17,681 --> 00:27:18,401
None.
222
00:27:23,801 --> 00:27:25,481
Is the next village far?
223
00:27:28,561 --> 00:27:30,041
It'll be dark soon.
224
00:27:31,921 --> 00:27:33,841
So what do we do now?
225
00:27:35,041 --> 00:27:36,281
We wait.
226
00:27:37,761 --> 00:27:38,801
What's the other option?
227
00:27:39,201 --> 00:27:42,121
We decide who eats who to survive.
228
00:28:02,601 --> 00:28:04,801
What's your problem with cars?
229
00:28:11,801 --> 00:28:13,761
I was in a crash with my parents.
230
00:28:17,401 --> 00:28:19,881
My dad had a stroke
and lost control of the car.
231
00:28:20,081 --> 00:28:21,761
They were killed instantly.
232
00:28:22,961 --> 00:28:25,961
I was in the back
and escaped with injuries.
233
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:34,321
I'm sorry.
234
00:28:37,201 --> 00:28:38,481
It is what it is.
235
00:28:46,401 --> 00:28:48,001
If you're cold…
236
00:28:51,761 --> 00:28:52,841
Thank you.
237
00:28:55,481 --> 00:28:58,961
Try to get some sleep.
238
00:29:00,481 --> 00:29:01,441
Yep.
239
00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:44,801
Are you whistling the Marseillaise?
240
00:31:04,081 --> 00:31:05,441
You're enjoying this, eh?
241
00:31:06,361 --> 00:31:07,481
Kind of.
242
00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:50,241
You're incredibly young!
243
00:31:51,321 --> 00:31:53,241
I thought you were much older.
244
00:31:54,681 --> 00:31:56,761
- You speak French?
- Yes.
245
00:31:56,961 --> 00:31:57,921
I love it!
246
00:31:58,481 --> 00:32:00,561
I'm sorry about last night.
247
00:32:01,601 --> 00:32:05,441
My son Oliver insists
on driving that old car.
248
00:32:05,641 --> 00:32:08,321
Give me your coat.
249
00:32:08,841 --> 00:32:09,961
That's it.
250
00:32:13,721 --> 00:32:14,841
Thank you.
251
00:32:19,481 --> 00:32:23,001
To be honest, I haven't eaten for ages
and I'm starving. If I could grab…
252
00:32:23,201 --> 00:32:24,161
My dear,
253
00:32:24,921 --> 00:32:30,321
You've come to the right place
for a proper English breakfast.
254
00:32:30,721 --> 00:32:34,401
You're free to write wherever you like,
255
00:32:34,601 --> 00:32:36,561
to stroll in the grounds…
256
00:32:37,761 --> 00:32:41,161
And we always hold a ball
257
00:32:41,721 --> 00:32:42,921
at the beginning of autumn.
258
00:32:43,121 --> 00:32:44,121
A ball!
259
00:32:44,641 --> 00:32:47,441
And a public reading
of your work in progress.
260
00:32:48,721 --> 00:32:50,681
Is the public reading…
261
00:32:51,081 --> 00:32:52,041
compulsory?
262
00:32:52,241 --> 00:32:54,961
Yes, my dear,
but it's all very casual.
263
00:32:55,161 --> 00:32:56,281
You'll see.
264
00:32:57,001 --> 00:33:01,321
I hope you'll be inspired here.
265
00:33:02,361 --> 00:33:04,881
Your agent said you needed
peace and quiet
266
00:33:05,081 --> 00:33:06,881
because of your age.
267
00:33:07,961 --> 00:33:09,201
My agent?
268
00:33:56,041 --> 00:33:57,521
I thought it was the bathroom!
269
00:33:57,881 --> 00:33:59,161
What a direct approach.
270
00:33:59,961 --> 00:34:02,761
I'd be grateful if you locked
your side too.
271
00:34:05,721 --> 00:34:06,801
Thank you!
272
00:35:17,481 --> 00:35:19,641
Write me down
273
00:35:19,841 --> 00:35:21,321
Cover me up
274
00:35:21,521 --> 00:35:23,081
Swallow my face
275
00:35:23,641 --> 00:35:26,121
Mute my voice
Hear my whisper
276
00:35:26,321 --> 00:35:27,521
Listen to my cry…
277
00:36:03,441 --> 00:36:04,801
Good to meet you, Agathe.
278
00:36:40,121 --> 00:36:41,441
What's the matter with him?
279
00:36:43,041 --> 00:36:44,201
I don't know.
280
00:36:45,481 --> 00:36:47,761
He refuses to see a doctor, but…
281
00:36:47,961 --> 00:36:50,961
we're going to have to face facts soon.
282
00:36:52,441 --> 00:36:55,001
Did you find your bathroom?
283
00:38:13,841 --> 00:38:17,041
Agathe, how come you speak
such good English?
284
00:38:18,721 --> 00:38:20,001
My father is…
285
00:38:21,041 --> 00:38:23,721
… was born in Bristol
and spoke to us English.
286
00:38:59,481 --> 00:39:01,121
Where the fuck am I?
287
00:39:16,201 --> 00:39:17,881
Why isn't it working?
288
00:39:44,121 --> 00:39:46,281
The house is that way.
289
00:39:47,161 --> 00:39:49,121
I know. Thanks.
290
00:40:01,321 --> 00:40:04,161
I love you the Italian way
291
00:40:10,121 --> 00:40:12,081
My heart pounds
292
00:40:12,281 --> 00:40:14,681
I speak with my hands
293
00:40:14,961 --> 00:40:19,441
And I see red when you talk to anyone
294
00:40:31,441 --> 00:40:33,481
Hello, what are you doing here?
295
00:40:37,081 --> 00:40:38,281
What the fuck!
296
00:40:38,481 --> 00:40:40,041
What's your problem?
297
00:40:42,801 --> 00:40:43,801
Stay away from me!
298
00:41:06,561 --> 00:41:09,641
I'm lying on my bed,
thinking about you.
299
00:41:11,041 --> 00:41:13,281
Thinking about when we kissed,
300
00:41:15,041 --> 00:41:16,681
your tongue in my mouth,
301
00:41:18,441 --> 00:41:19,401
your tongue in my…
302
00:41:22,761 --> 00:41:24,401
"Your tongue in my…"
303
00:41:24,881 --> 00:41:25,841
Fuck!
304
00:41:27,721 --> 00:41:29,001
Oh no!
305
00:41:29,481 --> 00:41:30,961
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
306
00:41:44,881 --> 00:41:46,641
Where did you get the idea?
307
00:41:47,921 --> 00:41:49,281
What idea?
308
00:41:49,481 --> 00:41:50,721
Your novel.
309
00:41:51,121 --> 00:41:54,161
A woman who falls for the man
she sees in her sake cup.
310
00:41:55,961 --> 00:41:58,481
In my local Chinese restaurant.
311
00:41:59,841 --> 00:42:01,761
You probably think it's ridiculous.
312
00:42:02,161 --> 00:42:03,601
No. It intrigues me.
313
00:42:04,321 --> 00:42:05,681
Are you making headway?
314
00:42:07,121 --> 00:42:08,881
Yes, a lot.
315
00:42:09,121 --> 00:42:12,121
I'm writing non-stop.
It's so inspiring here.
316
00:44:11,361 --> 00:44:13,241
Mona isn't home.
Leave a message.
317
00:44:14,121 --> 00:44:15,361
Hi, it's me.
318
00:44:16,041 --> 00:44:18,161
I hope you're both well.
319
00:44:18,361 --> 00:44:20,441
Call me back when you can.
320
00:44:21,281 --> 00:44:24,601
Tom, a llama spat right in my face.
321
00:44:24,801 --> 00:44:26,641
You'd have loved it.
322
00:44:27,121 --> 00:44:29,401
I miss you.
I'll be home in eight sleeps.
323
00:44:29,601 --> 00:44:30,441
Love you.
324
00:47:34,081 --> 00:47:34,961
Damn.
325
00:47:36,801 --> 00:47:37,761
Do you have kids?
326
00:47:39,121 --> 00:47:40,561
It's for my nephew Tom.
327
00:47:41,401 --> 00:47:43,281
I've lived with him since he was born.
328
00:47:45,081 --> 00:47:47,601
My sister fell pregnant
just after our parents died.
329
00:47:47,801 --> 00:47:49,801
So we decided to all live together.
330
00:47:50,601 --> 00:47:51,961
- How old is he?
- Six.
331
00:47:52,401 --> 00:47:55,281
I found this old illustrated edition
332
00:47:55,481 --> 00:47:57,841
of The Wonderful Adventures of Nils.
333
00:47:58,281 --> 00:48:00,441
- Does he know it?
- I don't think so.
334
00:48:00,641 --> 00:48:01,841
It's a good idea.
335
00:48:05,841 --> 00:48:08,361
Wouldn't you like to have
your own children…
336
00:48:09,081 --> 00:48:10,881
with your partner?
337
00:48:29,561 --> 00:48:31,841
I haven't slept with a guy in two years.
338
00:48:32,881 --> 00:48:36,401
I fantasize about my sake cup
and I snog my best friend.
339
00:48:38,481 --> 00:48:42,201
The university suspended me
for wrecking the staff room.
340
00:48:45,161 --> 00:48:48,281
My partner slept with most
of the literature department.
341
00:48:48,481 --> 00:48:50,721
Men, women, everyone.
342
00:48:51,521 --> 00:48:53,761
I'm very, very good at screwing up.
343
00:48:54,521 --> 00:48:55,681
The Palme d'Or of losers.
344
00:48:56,241 --> 00:48:58,561
The Turner Prize for drifting.
345
00:48:58,761 --> 00:49:02,001
I moved back home,
but Dad walks around half-naked,
346
00:49:02,201 --> 00:49:03,561
forgets my name…
347
00:49:04,561 --> 00:49:07,161
And I can't sleep without Tramadol.
348
00:49:48,801 --> 00:49:51,161
Have I had breakfast?
349
00:49:51,961 --> 00:49:54,841
- I can't remember.
- Yes, you had it this morning.
350
00:49:58,041 --> 00:49:59,441
But you're…
351
00:49:59,961 --> 00:50:02,801
- You're very beautiful.
- Thank you.
352
00:50:03,321 --> 00:50:05,361
I'm going to write a poem for you.
353
00:50:06,201 --> 00:50:08,361
Let me take you back
to your room first.
354
00:50:08,561 --> 00:50:09,681
All right.
355
00:50:13,081 --> 00:50:14,921
We'll find your trousers.
356
00:50:21,241 --> 00:50:22,561
I'll take it from here.
357
00:50:22,761 --> 00:50:23,921
All right.
358
00:50:24,601 --> 00:50:25,601
Thank you.
359
00:50:45,481 --> 00:50:46,561
Good night, Agathe.
360
00:50:47,121 --> 00:50:48,361
Good night.
361
00:51:26,201 --> 00:51:28,081
You have no new messages.
362
00:51:28,761 --> 00:51:30,521
Félix hasn't tried to reach you
363
00:51:30,721 --> 00:51:33,601
and you still haven't written
a single line.
364
00:51:33,801 --> 00:51:36,241
You're wasting your time
at this residency
365
00:51:36,441 --> 00:51:38,481
and you're wasting ours.
366
00:52:11,921 --> 00:52:13,441
I baked them for ages.
367
00:52:13,641 --> 00:52:16,681
I know you like them crunchy on top.
368
00:52:16,881 --> 00:52:17,921
That's kind of you.
369
00:52:18,921 --> 00:52:19,961
I'll have a taste.
370
00:52:20,441 --> 00:52:21,641
Are you making progress?
371
00:52:24,641 --> 00:52:25,601
So good.
372
00:52:25,841 --> 00:52:27,361
How's your love story going?
373
00:52:28,721 --> 00:52:31,881
I can't wait to hear your reading.
374
00:52:33,361 --> 00:52:36,001
Well, I won't disturb you any longer.
375
00:52:36,201 --> 00:52:38,281
I have to go and look after Todd.
376
00:52:38,481 --> 00:52:41,081
Don't you ever get tired
of doing everything?
377
00:52:42,321 --> 00:52:45,081
Wordsworth spoke of…
378
00:52:45,281 --> 00:52:48,441
"Little, nameless,
unremembered acts
379
00:52:48,881 --> 00:52:51,561
"Of kindness and of love"
380
00:52:51,761 --> 00:52:54,721
as being the best part of life.
381
00:52:55,961 --> 00:52:56,961
That's beautiful.
382
00:52:57,161 --> 00:52:59,801
I love to see this house full of life.
383
00:53:00,001 --> 00:53:02,121
All the writers who come here…
384
00:53:02,321 --> 00:53:04,321
It's like a family, you know.
385
00:53:04,521 --> 00:53:06,441
And you're part of it now.
386
00:53:06,641 --> 00:53:09,401
Our Oliver has come home tool.
387
00:53:11,401 --> 00:53:12,921
He seems better.
388
00:53:13,841 --> 00:53:15,721
I find him more…
389
00:53:18,841 --> 00:53:20,001
I don't know.
390
00:53:20,921 --> 00:53:22,721
See you later.
391
00:53:49,121 --> 00:53:52,201
That's how I became
an expert in I Ching.
392
00:53:52,561 --> 00:53:55,161
And I had a lover in Shanghai.
393
00:53:58,081 --> 00:54:00,281
What are you plotting?
Can I play too?
394
00:54:00,481 --> 00:54:01,601
Go on, then.
395
00:54:02,441 --> 00:54:03,721
What do I have to do?
396
00:54:03,921 --> 00:54:07,001
Think of a question
and write it down here.
397
00:54:23,881 --> 00:54:27,961
"Is Félix in love with me?
Have we been afraid of our feelings
398
00:54:28,161 --> 00:54:29,561
"these last few years?"
399
00:54:30,561 --> 00:54:32,081
No, that's two questions.
400
00:54:32,281 --> 00:54:33,561
You have to choose one.
401
00:54:39,601 --> 00:54:41,161
Toss the coins three times.
402
00:55:19,241 --> 00:55:20,121
What?
403
00:55:20,761 --> 00:55:23,401
"Obstruction."
There's a block.
404
00:55:23,601 --> 00:55:26,081
A separation of yin and yang.
405
00:55:27,121 --> 00:55:29,801
You have to find an alternative.
406
00:55:30,681 --> 00:55:33,481
"A fallback situation
must be considered.
407
00:55:33,681 --> 00:55:36,841
"Many disappointments
will arise over time
408
00:55:37,441 --> 00:55:39,441
"in your love situation."
409
00:55:39,641 --> 00:55:40,561
I'm sorry.
410
00:55:41,561 --> 00:55:42,801
Can we do it again?
411
00:55:43,001 --> 00:55:43,681
No, we can't.
412
00:55:43,881 --> 00:55:44,881
- Come on.
- No.
413
00:55:45,081 --> 00:55:47,841
I hate these things anyway.
I'm going for a smoke.
414
00:56:06,401 --> 00:56:08,121
Hello?
415
00:56:08,881 --> 00:56:09,641
Agathe?
416
00:56:09,841 --> 00:56:11,721
Are you in a busy place?
417
00:56:11,921 --> 00:56:14,561
Yes. I can't hear.
Can you hear me?
418
00:56:14,761 --> 00:56:16,001
Yes, I can.
419
00:56:16,441 --> 00:56:18,201
Did you get my messages?
420
00:56:18,481 --> 00:56:20,721
Yes. Sorry I didn't call back.
421
00:56:20,921 --> 00:56:23,281
I've been busy at the bookshop.
422
00:56:23,681 --> 00:56:24,801
Félix?
423
00:56:26,321 --> 00:56:30,601
You're not ghosting me
or breadcrumbing me, are you?
424
00:56:31,441 --> 00:56:34,081
Just don't ruin this, OK?
425
00:56:34,281 --> 00:56:35,921
I can barely hear you.
426
00:56:36,281 --> 00:56:39,161
- What did you say?
- Never mind. Take care. Bye.
427
00:56:39,361 --> 00:56:40,641
I can't hear a thing.
428
00:58:04,081 --> 00:58:05,881
Shall we go to the pub?
429
00:59:28,441 --> 00:59:29,841
Are you leaving already?
430
00:59:30,201 --> 00:59:32,441
That depends.
Do you play darts?
431
00:59:33,401 --> 00:59:34,201
No.
432
01:00:13,521 --> 01:00:15,921
I'd rather you were conscious.
433
01:00:18,561 --> 01:00:20,361
Can't you just eat me out?
434
01:01:06,561 --> 01:01:07,801
It's me.
435
01:01:14,721 --> 01:01:16,641
You look like shit.
436
01:01:21,201 --> 01:01:22,721
What a welcome! Nice.
437
01:01:24,561 --> 01:01:27,801
I was on the ferry earlier.
I was afraid you'd realize.
438
01:01:29,121 --> 01:01:31,561
I've come to distract you
and take you to the ball.
439
01:01:31,761 --> 01:01:33,521
Why didn't you reply to my message?
440
01:01:33,721 --> 01:01:35,121
That was some message!
441
01:01:36,801 --> 01:01:38,801
I loved it. Thanks a lot.
442
01:01:40,041 --> 01:01:42,601
I just needed time to process.
443
01:01:42,801 --> 01:01:45,481
I've thought of nothing but you
since we kissed…
444
01:01:45,681 --> 01:01:48,521
This new turn of events
kind of freaks me out.
445
01:02:10,881 --> 01:02:13,161
Breakfast for two!
How splendid is that?
446
01:02:14,641 --> 01:02:17,001
We've wasted 10 years.
Let's not waste more.
447
01:02:17,201 --> 01:02:18,881
Kiss me! I missed you.
448
01:02:26,041 --> 01:02:27,001
Are you OK?
449
01:02:34,041 --> 01:02:35,481
Can I get you anything?
450
01:02:35,681 --> 01:02:37,161
No! Stay where you are.
451
01:03:01,041 --> 01:03:02,681
Here, put this on.
452
01:03:04,161 --> 01:03:05,201
All right.
453
01:03:29,841 --> 01:03:31,881
So what did you do?
454
01:03:33,361 --> 01:03:35,121
Sleep with both of them?
455
01:03:35,681 --> 01:03:37,121
No, neither.
456
01:03:38,441 --> 01:03:40,801
Oliver tucked me in
457
01:03:41,921 --> 01:03:43,761
and Félix woke me up.
458
01:03:44,161 --> 01:03:47,041
It was really weird but…
459
01:03:47,681 --> 01:03:49,401
not at all unpleasant.
460
01:03:50,041 --> 01:03:51,561
I'm relieved he's here.
461
01:03:51,761 --> 01:03:53,441
Relieved?
462
01:03:53,881 --> 01:03:55,881
That doesn't sound very exciting.
463
01:05:07,081 --> 01:05:09,001
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.
464
01:06:44,761 --> 01:06:47,721
Beth, I feel dizzy,
go and dance with Félix.
465
01:06:51,721 --> 01:06:52,801
I'll be right back.
466
01:07:02,401 --> 01:07:03,201
Is he nuts?
467
01:10:15,961 --> 01:10:17,161
No, turn!
468
01:10:25,481 --> 01:10:27,001
Don't do that!
469
01:10:28,441 --> 01:10:30,441
My nipples are sensitive.
Are you nuts?
470
01:10:30,641 --> 01:10:32,561
I'll have red marks too.
471
01:10:33,081 --> 01:10:35,201
- Don't do it again.
- OK, fine.
472
01:10:35,721 --> 01:10:38,081
- I mean it.
- I got it!
473
01:10:43,761 --> 01:10:47,001
Do you realize this house
is 300 years old?
474
01:10:48,121 --> 01:10:50,401
Have you seen
how thick the walls are?
475
01:10:53,561 --> 01:10:54,481
Yeah…
476
01:10:57,641 --> 01:10:59,201
I have, yeah.
477
01:11:10,001 --> 01:11:11,761
It's a nice temperature.
478
01:11:14,761 --> 01:11:16,001
Very nice.
479
01:11:18,081 --> 01:11:19,481
Should I open the window wider?
480
01:11:19,681 --> 01:11:21,721
No, it's fine as it is.
481
01:11:22,161 --> 01:11:24,201
There's a lovely breeze.
482
01:11:36,361 --> 01:11:40,201
Maybe there's a reason
nothing has ever happened between us.
483
01:11:43,841 --> 01:11:45,481
Was it that bad?
484
01:11:45,681 --> 01:11:48,481
No. That isn't the issue.
485
01:11:50,001 --> 01:11:53,521
But when we're side by side like this,
486
01:11:53,721 --> 01:11:56,761
I just want to eat kebabs
and watch TV together.
487
01:11:58,441 --> 01:12:01,161
Well, we know each other inside out.
488
01:12:02,441 --> 01:12:04,561
So it'll take us a bit of time…
489
01:12:05,361 --> 01:12:07,641
to adjust to this new situation.
490
01:12:07,841 --> 01:12:10,361
- Are you serious?
- Yes. It's perfectly normal.
491
01:12:11,401 --> 01:12:14,361
With you, I have found
my double flame at last.
492
01:12:14,561 --> 01:12:16,001
Fuck no, Félix!
493
01:12:16,201 --> 01:12:19,401
You quote Octavio Paz
to every girl you sleep with.
494
01:12:19,601 --> 01:12:21,761
Don't say that crap to me!
495
01:12:22,401 --> 01:12:26,161
Us being together is self-evident,
but we refused to see that.
496
01:12:26,921 --> 01:12:29,401
So it's normal to feel afraid.
497
01:12:29,961 --> 01:12:31,961
What's there to be afraid of?
498
01:12:34,441 --> 01:12:35,801
Well…
499
01:12:40,761 --> 01:12:43,081
Aren't we just afraid
of ending up alone?
500
01:12:43,281 --> 01:12:44,081
No.
501
01:12:45,761 --> 01:12:49,561
- I've always wanted to sleep with you.
- You want to sleep with everyone!
502
01:12:55,921 --> 01:12:57,241
I adore you.
503
01:12:58,961 --> 01:13:00,481
But I don't feel…
504
01:13:01,361 --> 01:13:04,081
that little inexplicable spark.
505
01:13:07,441 --> 01:13:10,641
So that's it, huh?
You won't even give us a chance.
506
01:13:11,601 --> 01:13:12,561
Sorry.
507
01:13:12,761 --> 01:13:14,201
It isn't that.
508
01:13:15,721 --> 01:13:17,081
- Where are you going?
- For a walk.
509
01:13:17,281 --> 01:13:20,281
- I'll come with you.
- No. I'm going alone.
510
01:13:52,081 --> 01:13:53,721
- Are you mad at me?
- No.
511
01:13:54,161 --> 01:13:55,601
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
512
01:13:57,361 --> 01:14:00,241
- Should I stay for the reading?
- Definitely not.
513
01:14:00,441 --> 01:14:02,801
It's more stressful
with loved ones present.
514
01:14:03,561 --> 01:14:05,521
- We'll see each other soon.
- Yep.
515
01:15:29,521 --> 01:15:31,041
What a fucking surprise!
516
01:15:33,441 --> 01:15:35,201
Was it you who spat at me?
517
01:16:53,921 --> 01:16:55,281
Are you leaving already?
518
01:16:56,441 --> 01:16:59,961
Don't tell me it's because
of your reading.
519
01:17:03,081 --> 01:17:04,201
Beth…
520
01:17:06,561 --> 01:17:07,841
I'm sorry.
521
01:17:09,241 --> 01:17:10,801
I lied to you.
522
01:17:12,361 --> 01:17:15,561
I haven't written anything,
not a single word.
523
01:17:17,281 --> 01:17:20,361
I'm not a writer.
I need to accept that and move on.
524
01:17:21,281 --> 01:17:24,801
You should have told us
you had hit a dry spell.
525
01:17:25,001 --> 01:17:29,121
So many residents have before you.
526
01:17:29,321 --> 01:17:33,041
We loved the first chapters
of your novel.
527
01:17:33,241 --> 01:17:34,601
Just ask Oliver.
528
01:17:35,361 --> 01:17:38,761
He said that your first chapters
were the most promising
529
01:17:38,961 --> 01:17:40,761
he had read in years.
530
01:17:42,201 --> 01:17:44,161
Thank you again for your kindness.
531
01:17:44,801 --> 01:17:46,281
I'll never forget you.
532
01:17:46,481 --> 01:17:47,641
I'm so sorry.
533
01:18:00,281 --> 01:18:02,121
The bus doesn't run on Sundays.
534
01:18:40,881 --> 01:18:45,121
Have you ever had the feeling
you were made for something or someone?
535
01:18:46,161 --> 01:18:48,881
That it was just a matter of luck
536
01:18:49,641 --> 01:18:50,921
or timing?
537
01:18:51,121 --> 01:18:55,201
Are you talking about writing
or your boyfriend?
538
01:18:55,401 --> 01:18:56,761
He isn't my boyfriend.
539
01:18:58,481 --> 01:19:01,001
And I'm sorry about what happened.
540
01:19:01,441 --> 01:19:03,201
I was talking about writing.
541
01:19:03,841 --> 01:19:05,481
I always found excuses.
542
01:19:05,681 --> 01:19:09,361
I thought conditions needed
to be perfect to write.
543
01:19:10,281 --> 01:19:14,201
And that I had to experience
interesting things to write but…
544
01:19:14,601 --> 01:19:16,521
that's all bullshit.
545
01:19:17,161 --> 01:19:18,561
At least I know that now.
546
01:19:20,361 --> 01:19:23,721
Writing is like ivy…
547
01:19:25,321 --> 01:19:30,121
like weeds and plants:
it needs ruins to exist.
548
01:19:34,881 --> 01:19:36,481
Look for your ruins.
549
01:19:41,761 --> 01:19:44,441
Tramadol and Lexomil
are on a boat. Who falls in?
550
01:19:44,641 --> 01:19:45,801
What?
551
01:19:46,001 --> 01:19:47,641
Nothing, forget it.
552
01:19:56,241 --> 01:19:57,361
Bye.
553
01:21:47,241 --> 01:21:49,041
Are you at the Bergeronette?
554
01:21:49,961 --> 01:21:51,121
Yes.
555
01:21:51,681 --> 01:21:55,161
You really shouldn't leave the keys
under the flowerpots.
556
01:21:55,361 --> 01:21:57,961
It's the first place burglars look.
557
01:21:58,281 --> 01:22:00,041
You might as well leave the door open.
558
01:22:00,241 --> 01:22:01,521
Agathe?
559
01:22:02,201 --> 01:22:04,641
- What?
- You're such a pain.
560
01:22:10,881 --> 01:22:12,121
Are you OK?
561
01:22:17,041 --> 01:22:20,281
Well, I feel great joy
562
01:22:20,481 --> 01:22:22,441
and immense sadness too.
563
01:22:23,841 --> 01:22:25,521
I know, sweetie.
564
01:22:25,881 --> 01:22:27,601
It'll pass, you'll see.
565
01:22:33,681 --> 01:22:35,361
Remember what Dad used to say?
566
01:22:36,521 --> 01:22:41,361
"Literature is the only remedy for
the disorder of thoughts and feelings."
567
01:22:41,801 --> 01:22:44,361
I never did get his theories.
568
01:22:44,641 --> 01:22:48,121
Dad kind of crushed you
with his literature crap.
569
01:22:48,321 --> 01:22:51,561
Don't you think it's time
you told him to piss off?
570
01:22:52,641 --> 01:22:54,041
He's dead, Mona.
571
01:22:54,241 --> 01:22:56,401
All the more reason.
572
01:25:22,321 --> 01:25:25,601
Dear Oliver,
Thank you for your gardening tips.
573
01:25:25,801 --> 01:25:29,121
I found my ruins.
574
01:26:15,561 --> 01:26:17,521
- Hi!
- Everyone OK?
575
01:26:20,841 --> 01:26:23,321
Penetration is extremely painful…
576
01:26:23,521 --> 01:26:24,801
Is this The Lion King?
577
01:26:31,601 --> 01:26:33,801
Excuse me, sorry. Thanks.
578
01:26:34,001 --> 01:26:36,481
There's a letter for you.
It's on the fridge.
579
01:26:38,161 --> 01:26:43,161
The hairs on the tip of the male's penis
are as hard as spines
580
01:26:43,361 --> 01:26:46,841
but necessary to trigger
ovulation in the female.
581
01:26:49,921 --> 01:26:51,361
- Well?
- Who's it from?
582
01:26:53,241 --> 01:26:56,281
An English publisher.
He loved my novel.
583
01:26:56,641 --> 01:26:57,641
That's fantastic!
584
01:26:57,841 --> 01:27:00,201
Cheer up!
Don't kill yourself out of joy.
585
01:27:00,401 --> 01:27:01,601
Smile!
586
01:27:02,761 --> 01:27:04,241
Congrats, old cowl!
587
01:27:43,681 --> 01:27:46,121
There's a Jane Austen quote
on the mirror.
588
01:27:48,321 --> 01:27:49,601
With my name on it!
589
01:27:50,121 --> 01:27:51,241
Great.
590
01:27:51,441 --> 01:27:52,961
Who made such a lame joke?
591
01:27:53,161 --> 01:27:56,321
Don't look at me!
How would I know?
592
01:27:56,721 --> 01:27:57,961
You're weird.
593
01:28:13,841 --> 01:28:14,841
Thank you.
594
01:28:17,361 --> 01:28:20,721
And the final poem this evening
595
01:28:21,121 --> 01:28:23,201
is Path by Jack Hirschman.
596
01:34:08,481 --> 01:34:10,841
Subtitles by Susannah Rooke
597
01:34:11,041 --> 01:34:13,401
Subtitling TITRAFILM
38167
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