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1
00:00:02,021 --> 00:00:07,021
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2
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Official 9jaRocks movies site:
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3
00:02:18,822 --> 00:02:24,582
JANE AUSTEN WRECKED MY LIFE
4
00:04:06,262 --> 00:04:09,262
Who's this bug?
What are you doing here?
5
00:04:10,422 --> 00:04:13,302
Are your PJs in the wash?
6
00:04:14,302 --> 00:04:15,382
Yes.
7
00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:19,462
What a comfortable pillow!
8
00:04:20,822 --> 00:04:22,502
Nice and fluffy.
9
00:04:22,942 --> 00:04:24,262
Where's your mum?
10
00:04:24,982 --> 00:04:27,262
She's asleep.
There's a guy in her bed.
11
00:04:27,462 --> 00:04:29,982
How do you know
there isn't one in mine?
12
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,702
I've never seen one…
13
00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:36,302
Maybe he's hiding under my bed!
14
00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:40,742
Hey!
15
00:04:43,462 --> 00:04:45,982
Tom, my son,
and Agathe, my sister.
16
00:04:46,942 --> 00:04:48,302
And this is…
17
00:04:48,982 --> 00:04:50,622
- Raphael.
- Gabriel.
18
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:52,662
Hi.
19
00:04:53,382 --> 00:04:54,542
Bye, pumpkin.
20
00:04:54,742 --> 00:04:57,222
I'm late, I'm opening the pool at 8.
21
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,062
I'd love a green tea.
22
00:05:00,502 --> 00:05:02,182
I'm coffee intolerant.
23
00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:03,702
Sorry.
24
00:05:05,342 --> 00:05:07,462
Bye, zebra.
I'll pick you up at teatime.
25
00:05:07,662 --> 00:05:08,502
See you later!
26
00:05:08,702 --> 00:05:11,062
- Bye, er, Raphael.
- Gabriel.
27
00:05:14,342 --> 00:05:15,542
Right…
28
00:05:16,502 --> 00:05:18,142
A bit of a memory issue.
29
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:35,382
You're so bloody slow!
30
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,062
God, you're so slow!
31
00:05:41,022 --> 00:05:42,022
Are you OK?
32
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,662
Shit, sorry.
33
00:05:43,862 --> 00:05:44,862
She's barking.
34
00:05:48,902 --> 00:05:51,462
My little secret is the stewed onions.
35
00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:54,542
Look, it's her again.
36
00:05:55,262 --> 00:05:57,062
I can't stand her any more.
37
00:05:58,142 --> 00:06:00,622
Ever heard of the concept
of "breadcrumber"?
38
00:06:02,142 --> 00:06:03,142
No, never.
39
00:06:03,342 --> 00:06:06,382
- It was tailor-made for you.
- What is it?
40
00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:08,782
You give girls attention,
41
00:06:08,982 --> 00:06:11,902
the hope of something special,
but never commit.
42
00:06:12,702 --> 00:06:14,262
You leave everything to stew!
43
00:06:14,462 --> 00:06:16,142
Girls, onions…
44
00:06:18,582 --> 00:06:19,582
See?
45
00:06:20,142 --> 00:06:22,102
You keep them hanging on…
46
00:06:22,302 --> 00:06:23,862
- Hey!
- … just in case.
47
00:06:24,062 --> 00:06:26,622
Give me a break!
What would you know anyway?
48
00:06:26,822 --> 00:06:29,662
Your only relationship
is with your sandwich.
49
00:06:30,742 --> 00:06:32,982
You're so vulgar, madam.
50
00:06:33,182 --> 00:06:35,782
With that drop of sauce,
you're disgusting tool.
51
00:06:38,662 --> 00:06:39,462
No, stop!
52
00:06:40,422 --> 00:06:41,262
Shit!
53
00:06:41,462 --> 00:06:42,742
All right?
54
00:06:46,582 --> 00:06:47,622
Hang on.
55
00:06:57,302 --> 00:06:58,382
When d'you last shag?
56
00:06:58,582 --> 00:07:00,822
Speak properly.
I can't understand you.
57
00:07:01,022 --> 00:07:02,702
Come on, tell me the truth.
58
00:07:02,902 --> 00:07:03,942
Shut it!
59
00:07:07,982 --> 00:07:09,502
What are you waiting for?
60
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:11,462
Mark Darcy?
61
00:07:12,422 --> 00:07:14,102
Afraid he'll never show up?
62
00:07:14,302 --> 00:07:16,782
- I'm not afraid.
- Sure, you are.
63
00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:21,222
You're scared of suffering,
love affairs, one-night stands.
64
00:07:21,422 --> 00:07:23,262
You're scared of apps.
65
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,582
You're scared.
You don't live, you hide.
66
00:07:26,782 --> 00:07:28,302
I don't, it's just that…
67
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:30,742
I'm not into Uber sex.
68
00:07:30,942 --> 00:07:34,062
I don't do digital.
I don't want to have to "like" guys
69
00:07:34,262 --> 00:07:37,582
or hear them tiptoe off
so as not to wake me up.
70
00:07:40,662 --> 00:07:42,662
I'm not living in the right century.
71
00:08:12,422 --> 00:08:13,862
- Agathe?
- Yes.
72
00:08:14,062 --> 00:08:15,302
Let go.
73
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,422
I'm not sure I can write
to a dead person.
74
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:23,222
Nobody's forcing you to be here.
75
00:08:24,102 --> 00:08:26,742
You churn out cheap romances.
76
00:08:26,942 --> 00:08:29,342
It wouldn't hurt
to explore something else.
77
00:08:29,862 --> 00:08:32,822
You need to be in tune
with the times, Agathe.
78
00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:01,942
Excuse me.
79
00:09:03,822 --> 00:09:06,702
Could I have the ladies version?
80
00:09:06,902 --> 00:09:09,262
- I'll fetch one right away.
- Thank you.
81
00:09:27,862 --> 00:09:30,262
It's on the house.
82
00:09:35,702 --> 00:09:36,782
Thank you.
83
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,942
Wear your green socks.
Change socks.
84
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,302
FĂ©lix is snoring on our couch!
85
00:11:16,502 --> 00:11:17,582
Again?
86
00:11:17,982 --> 00:11:20,422
Wake him up.
Tell him to make you toast.
87
00:11:20,622 --> 00:11:22,502
His feet stink!
88
00:11:22,702 --> 00:11:24,502
I know, but he's sweet.
89
00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:49,462
Sorry, sorry.
90
00:11:51,142 --> 00:11:52,222
Why are you still here?
91
00:11:52,422 --> 00:11:55,542
Hey, Bukowski,
could you go take a shower?
92
00:11:57,302 --> 00:11:59,822
Don't push it, you!
93
00:12:04,302 --> 00:12:06,662
You read it?
It isn't even finished!
94
00:12:06,862 --> 00:12:09,022
- FĂ©lix, that's not on.
- Calm down.
95
00:12:09,222 --> 00:12:10,382
It's good.
96
00:12:10,582 --> 00:12:12,142
Very good, even.
97
00:12:12,702 --> 00:12:15,902
Seriously.
It's a little weird like you, but…
98
00:12:17,062 --> 00:12:18,382
it's touching.
99
00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:20,662
It's not bad at all.
100
00:12:21,422 --> 00:12:22,902
What happens next?
101
00:12:23,502 --> 00:12:25,222
I don't know, as usual.
102
00:12:25,422 --> 00:12:28,902
It's the umpteenth story
I've started and can't finish.
103
00:12:29,102 --> 00:12:31,742
You must. I want to know
what happens next.
104
00:12:34,222 --> 00:12:36,142
Writing in English suits you.
105
00:12:38,102 --> 00:12:39,342
It's really good.
106
00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:10,262
Do you have a Jane Austen
for every circumstance?
107
00:13:10,662 --> 00:13:11,582
Yes.
108
00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,342
What would you recommend to me?
109
00:13:15,022 --> 00:13:16,422
Mansfield Park.
110
00:13:17,742 --> 00:13:19,662
- Henry Crawford is you.
- Why?
111
00:13:19,862 --> 00:13:21,782
He's a liar and a seducer.
112
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:26,742
A Casanova caught out at his own game
when he falls in love.
113
00:13:27,902 --> 00:13:28,942
And who would you be?
114
00:13:29,502 --> 00:13:31,222
Anne Elliot in
Persuasion.
115
00:13:33,182 --> 00:13:34,382
Why?
116
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:37,502
Because she's an old maid
117
00:13:37,702 --> 00:13:40,382
who has wilted like a flower
in need of water.
118
00:13:45,902 --> 00:13:48,782
She has let life pass her by.
119
00:14:21,782 --> 00:14:23,822
For an old dried-up flower,
you smell good.
120
00:15:30,502 --> 00:15:31,782
What's that?
121
00:15:34,062 --> 00:15:36,062
An invite from
the Jane Austen Residency
122
00:15:36,262 --> 00:15:38,982
to spend two weeks
at their writers' retreat.
123
00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:43,222
They liked my first chapters?
124
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:50,382
Fuck, don't tell me it was you!
125
00:15:50,582 --> 00:15:52,742
You needed a kick up the arse.
126
00:15:53,222 --> 00:15:54,462
Thanks.
127
00:15:56,502 --> 00:15:57,782
But I can't.
128
00:15:57,982 --> 00:15:59,502
- Why?
- You know why.
129
00:15:59,702 --> 00:16:02,182
- Don't bail.
- How do I get there? By bike?
130
00:16:02,382 --> 00:16:03,222
Great idea!
131
00:16:03,742 --> 00:16:05,702
Let's call Mona and celebrate.
132
00:16:06,062 --> 00:16:08,462
No, forget it.
You won't change my mind.
133
00:16:08,662 --> 00:16:12,342
You're so annoying.
I could bite you.
134
00:16:41,302 --> 00:16:43,502
- You OK, pumpkin?
- Yes.
135
00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,142
- Did you sleep well?
- Yes.
136
00:16:51,782 --> 00:16:53,582
When does the retreat start?
137
00:16:55,022 --> 00:16:57,102
Tom, do you want to go the zoo?
138
00:16:57,302 --> 00:16:58,822
Yes! I'll get dressed.
139
00:17:00,182 --> 00:17:02,422
- Can I say something?
- Nope.
140
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,742
I'm going to, anyway.
141
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:06,982
It starts in three days.
142
00:17:07,622 --> 00:17:09,702
I can cover for you at the bookshop.
143
00:17:09,902 --> 00:17:10,942
So we're good.
144
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:16,262
Plan to spend your life
cycling around Paris,
145
00:17:16,462 --> 00:17:18,462
moaning about writer's block?
146
00:17:19,582 --> 00:17:22,822
Leave me alone, you two!
I can't go, OK?
147
00:17:23,302 --> 00:17:25,582
I can't get back in a car.
148
00:17:26,182 --> 00:17:27,462
Is that clear enough?
149
00:17:33,782 --> 00:17:35,422
What the hell are you doing?
150
00:17:36,782 --> 00:17:38,462
Duh, eating. I'm hungry.
151
00:17:40,262 --> 00:17:41,102
Oh really?
152
00:17:42,422 --> 00:17:45,302
Cold pasta at 2 am…
153
00:17:47,462 --> 00:17:49,022
Can't you be like Duras?
154
00:17:49,222 --> 00:17:53,622
Drink whisky, take pills,
something a bit more flamboyant?
155
00:17:55,382 --> 00:17:56,982
Nice. Thanks.
156
00:17:57,942 --> 00:17:59,182
Hey…
157
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,342
what the fuck is wrong with you?
158
00:18:03,342 --> 00:18:06,662
I know you're disappointed
but this trip is too much for me.
159
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,222
You stupid cow!
160
00:18:14,142 --> 00:18:15,822
I'm sick of your bullshit.
161
00:18:16,022 --> 00:18:18,422
You've put your life on hold
since the accident.
162
00:18:18,902 --> 00:18:21,182
You refuse to go back
to the Bergeronette.
163
00:18:21,422 --> 00:18:23,622
I've had to spend every summer there
164
00:18:23,822 --> 00:18:25,662
alone with Tom since he was born.
165
00:18:30,262 --> 00:18:31,382
Sorry.
166
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:34,942
Are you OK?
167
00:18:36,222 --> 00:18:37,702
No. I'm having a panic attack.
168
00:18:37,902 --> 00:18:39,982
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
169
00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:42,822
- I can't.
- Come on, breathe.
170
00:18:46,262 --> 00:18:49,302
- Give me a cigarette.
- No! You struggled to quit.
171
00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,982
- Give me a fucking cig!
- Hang on, calm down.
172
00:18:55,102 --> 00:18:56,222
Here you go.
173
00:19:01,422 --> 00:19:02,622
Give me one.
174
00:19:02,822 --> 00:19:04,942
What are you doing?
Cut that out!
175
00:19:16,102 --> 00:19:18,902
Agathe, you're such a pain.
176
00:19:29,462 --> 00:19:32,982
Excuse me, a dangerous individual
is hiding in your group.
177
00:19:34,662 --> 00:19:35,862
Give me a break!
178
00:19:36,902 --> 00:19:40,102
FĂ©lix, do you honestly think
I'm a match for published authors?
179
00:19:40,302 --> 00:19:43,622
Of course!
You've just got impostor syndrome.
180
00:19:43,822 --> 00:19:46,622
No, I don't, I'm a genuine impostor.
181
00:19:55,382 --> 00:19:59,502
In my heart I have a funny Sicilian song
182
00:19:59,702 --> 00:20:04,302
That you know by heart
Because my life resembles yours
183
00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:08,822
I love you more
Than the volcanoes of Italy
184
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:12,742
Remember this?
185
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,902
I love you the Italian way
186
00:20:25,062 --> 00:20:26,982
My heart pounds
187
00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:29,462
I speak with my hands
188
00:20:29,942 --> 00:20:34,542
And I see red when you talk to anyone
189
00:20:34,742 --> 00:20:39,302
When the south wind plays la musica
190
00:20:39,502 --> 00:20:43,102
I sing along with it, just for you
191
00:20:45,222 --> 00:20:47,942
I love you the Italian way
192
00:21:22,342 --> 00:21:23,902
It feels good to see the sea.
193
00:21:24,342 --> 00:21:25,542
You were right.
194
00:21:28,782 --> 00:21:30,382
I miss the Bergeronette.
195
00:21:32,142 --> 00:21:33,342
I know.
196
00:21:40,822 --> 00:21:41,822
Here…
197
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,102
for your nerves,
take half a pill on the ferry
198
00:21:46,302 --> 00:21:48,222
and the other half before bed.
199
00:21:48,422 --> 00:21:49,502
You'll feel better, OK?
200
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:53,862
How do you know
I won't get anaphylactic shock or…?
201
00:25:58,822 --> 00:25:59,902
Hello?
202
00:26:00,782 --> 00:26:02,782
Not at all.
I don't know where we are.
203
00:26:02,982 --> 00:26:05,102
Our car just broke down in a forest.
204
00:26:05,782 --> 00:26:07,062
Plus I'm stuck
205
00:26:07,262 --> 00:26:10,782
with Jane Austen's
great-great-great-nephew.
206
00:26:12,062 --> 00:26:14,662
No, he's unbearable, really arrogant
207
00:26:14,862 --> 00:26:16,662
and totally stuck-up.
208
00:26:16,862 --> 00:26:18,462
I've never seen the like.
209
00:26:18,782 --> 00:26:20,902
I threw up on his shoes, too.
210
00:26:21,302 --> 00:26:23,342
Hello? Mona?
211
00:26:24,942 --> 00:26:26,742
Shit, I'm out of battery!
212
00:26:33,582 --> 00:26:35,462
I speak French, you know.
213
00:26:39,382 --> 00:26:40,342
Shit.
214
00:26:49,062 --> 00:26:50,382
Sorry.
215
00:26:52,342 --> 00:26:54,822
I lived with a French woman
for five years.
216
00:26:55,542 --> 00:26:57,022
One of my worst-ever decisions.
217
00:26:58,062 --> 00:27:01,702
And you're rude to French women
because she dumped you.
218
00:27:06,622 --> 00:27:09,262
You don't how to fix your car, do you?
219
00:27:10,382 --> 00:27:11,982
Not a clue.
220
00:27:13,662 --> 00:27:15,022
Do you have service?
221
00:27:17,702 --> 00:27:18,422
None.
222
00:27:23,822 --> 00:27:25,502
Is the next village far?
223
00:27:28,582 --> 00:27:30,062
It'll be dark soon.
224
00:27:31,942 --> 00:27:33,862
So what do we do now?
225
00:27:35,062 --> 00:27:36,302
We wait.
226
00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:38,822
What's the other option?
227
00:27:39,222 --> 00:27:42,142
We decide who eats who to survive.
228
00:28:02,622 --> 00:28:04,822
What's your problem with cars?
229
00:28:11,822 --> 00:28:13,782
I was in a crash with my parents.
230
00:28:17,422 --> 00:28:19,902
My dad had a stroke
and lost control of the car.
231
00:28:20,102 --> 00:28:21,782
They were killed instantly.
232
00:28:22,982 --> 00:28:25,982
I was in the back
and escaped with injuries.
233
00:28:32,982 --> 00:28:34,342
I'm sorry.
234
00:28:37,222 --> 00:28:38,502
It is what it is.
235
00:28:46,422 --> 00:28:48,022
If you're cold…
236
00:28:51,782 --> 00:28:52,862
Thank you.
237
00:28:55,502 --> 00:28:58,982
Try to get some sleep.
238
00:29:00,502 --> 00:29:01,462
Yep.
239
00:29:42,502 --> 00:29:44,822
Are you whistling the Marseillaise?
240
00:31:04,102 --> 00:31:05,462
You're enjoying this, eh?
241
00:31:06,382 --> 00:31:07,502
Kind of.
242
00:31:47,622 --> 00:31:50,262
You're incredibly young!
243
00:31:51,342 --> 00:31:53,262
I thought you were much older.
244
00:31:54,702 --> 00:31:56,782
- You speak French?
- Yes.
245
00:31:56,982 --> 00:31:57,942
I love it!
246
00:31:58,502 --> 00:32:00,582
I'm sorry about last night.
247
00:32:01,622 --> 00:32:05,462
My son Oliver insists
on driving that old car.
248
00:32:05,662 --> 00:32:08,342
Give me your coat.
249
00:32:08,862 --> 00:32:09,982
That's it.
250
00:32:13,742 --> 00:32:14,862
Thank you.
251
00:32:19,502 --> 00:32:23,022
To be honest, I haven't eaten for ages
and I'm starving. If I could grab…
252
00:32:23,222 --> 00:32:24,182
My dear,
253
00:32:24,942 --> 00:32:30,342
You've come to the right place
for a proper English breakfast.
254
00:32:30,742 --> 00:32:34,422
You're free to write wherever you like,
255
00:32:34,622 --> 00:32:36,582
to stroll in the grounds…
256
00:32:37,782 --> 00:32:41,182
And we always hold a ball
257
00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:42,942
at the beginning of autumn.
258
00:32:43,142 --> 00:32:44,142
A ball!
259
00:32:44,662 --> 00:32:47,462
And a public reading
of your work in progress.
260
00:32:48,742 --> 00:32:50,702
Is the public reading…
261
00:32:51,102 --> 00:32:52,062
compulsory?
262
00:32:52,262 --> 00:32:54,982
Yes, my dear,
but it's all very casual.
263
00:32:55,182 --> 00:32:56,302
You'll see.
264
00:32:57,022 --> 00:33:01,342
I hope you'll be inspired here.
265
00:33:02,382 --> 00:33:04,902
Your agent said you needed
peace and quiet
266
00:33:05,102 --> 00:33:06,902
because of your age.
267
00:33:07,982 --> 00:33:09,222
My agent?
268
00:33:56,062 --> 00:33:57,542
I thought it was the bathroom!
269
00:33:57,902 --> 00:33:59,182
What a direct approach.
270
00:33:59,982 --> 00:34:02,782
I'd be grateful if you locked
your side too.
271
00:34:05,742 --> 00:34:06,822
Thank you!
272
00:35:17,502 --> 00:35:19,662
Write me down
273
00:35:19,862 --> 00:35:21,342
Cover me up
274
00:35:21,542 --> 00:35:23,102
Swallow my face
275
00:35:23,662 --> 00:35:26,142
Mute my voice
Hear my whisper
276
00:35:26,342 --> 00:35:27,542
Listen to my cry…
277
00:36:03,462 --> 00:36:04,822
Good to meet you, Agathe.
278
00:36:40,142 --> 00:36:41,462
What's the matter with him?
279
00:36:43,062 --> 00:36:44,222
I don't know.
280
00:36:45,502 --> 00:36:47,782
He refuses to see a doctor, but…
281
00:36:47,982 --> 00:36:50,982
we're going to have to face facts soon.
282
00:36:52,462 --> 00:36:55,022
Did you find your bathroom?
283
00:38:13,862 --> 00:38:17,062
Agathe, how come you speak
such good English?
284
00:38:18,742 --> 00:38:20,022
My father is…
285
00:38:21,062 --> 00:38:23,742
… was born in Bristol
and spoke to us English.
286
00:38:59,502 --> 00:39:01,142
Where the fuck am I?
287
00:39:16,222 --> 00:39:17,902
Why isn't it working?
288
00:39:44,142 --> 00:39:46,302
The house is that way.
289
00:39:47,182 --> 00:39:49,142
I know. Thanks.
290
00:40:01,342 --> 00:40:04,182
I love you the Italian way
291
00:40:10,142 --> 00:40:12,102
My heart pounds
292
00:40:12,302 --> 00:40:14,702
I speak with my hands
293
00:40:14,982 --> 00:40:19,462
And I see red when you talk to anyone
294
00:40:31,462 --> 00:40:33,502
Hello, what are you doing here?
295
00:40:37,102 --> 00:40:38,302
What the fuck!
296
00:40:38,502 --> 00:40:40,062
What's your problem?
297
00:40:42,822 --> 00:40:43,822
Stay away from me!
298
00:41:06,582 --> 00:41:09,662
I'm lying on my bed,
thinking about you.
299
00:41:11,062 --> 00:41:13,302
Thinking about when we kissed,
300
00:41:15,062 --> 00:41:16,702
your tongue in my mouth,
301
00:41:18,462 --> 00:41:19,422
your tongue in my…
302
00:41:22,782 --> 00:41:24,422
"Your tongue in my…"
303
00:41:24,902 --> 00:41:25,862
Fuck!
304
00:41:27,742 --> 00:41:29,022
Oh no!
305
00:41:29,502 --> 00:41:30,982
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
306
00:41:44,902 --> 00:41:46,662
Where did you get the idea?
307
00:41:47,942 --> 00:41:49,302
What idea?
308
00:41:49,502 --> 00:41:50,742
Your novel.
309
00:41:51,142 --> 00:41:54,182
A woman who falls for the man
she sees in her sake cup.
310
00:41:55,982 --> 00:41:58,502
In my local Chinese restaurant.
311
00:41:59,862 --> 00:42:01,782
You probably think it's ridiculous.
312
00:42:02,182 --> 00:42:03,622
No. It intrigues me.
313
00:42:04,342 --> 00:42:05,702
Are you making headway?
314
00:42:07,142 --> 00:42:08,902
Yes, a lot.
315
00:42:09,142 --> 00:42:12,142
I'm writing non-stop.
It's so inspiring here.
316
00:44:11,382 --> 00:44:13,262
Mona isn't home.
Leave a message.
317
00:44:14,142 --> 00:44:15,382
Hi, it's me.
318
00:44:16,062 --> 00:44:18,182
I hope you're both well.
319
00:44:18,382 --> 00:44:20,462
Call me back when you can.
320
00:44:21,302 --> 00:44:24,622
Tom, a llama spat right in my face.
321
00:44:24,822 --> 00:44:26,662
You'd have loved it.
322
00:44:27,142 --> 00:44:29,422
I miss you.
I'll be home in eight sleeps.
323
00:44:29,622 --> 00:44:30,462
Love you.
324
00:47:34,102 --> 00:47:34,982
Damn.
325
00:47:36,822 --> 00:47:37,782
Do you have kids?
326
00:47:39,142 --> 00:47:40,582
It's for my nephew Tom.
327
00:47:41,422 --> 00:47:43,302
I've lived with him since he was born.
328
00:47:45,102 --> 00:47:47,622
My sister fell pregnant
just after our parents died.
329
00:47:47,822 --> 00:47:49,822
So we decided to all live together.
330
00:47:50,622 --> 00:47:51,982
- How old is he?
- Six.
331
00:47:52,422 --> 00:47:55,302
I found this old illustrated edition
332
00:47:55,502 --> 00:47:57,862
of
The Wonderful Adventures of Nils.
333
00:47:58,302 --> 00:48:00,462
- Does he know it?
- I don't think so.
334
00:48:00,662 --> 00:48:01,862
It's a good idea.
335
00:48:05,862 --> 00:48:08,382
Wouldn't you like to have
your own children…
336
00:48:09,102 --> 00:48:10,902
with your partner?
337
00:48:29,582 --> 00:48:31,862
I haven't slept with a guy in two years.
338
00:48:32,902 --> 00:48:36,422
I fantasize about my sake cup
and I snog my best friend.
339
00:48:38,502 --> 00:48:42,222
The university suspended me
for wrecking the staff room.
340
00:48:45,182 --> 00:48:48,302
My partner slept with most
of the literature department.
341
00:48:48,502 --> 00:48:50,742
Men, women, everyone.
342
00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:53,782
I'm very, very good at screwing up.
343
00:48:54,542 --> 00:48:55,702
The Palme d'Or of losers.
344
00:48:56,262 --> 00:48:58,582
The Turner Prize for drifting.
345
00:48:58,782 --> 00:49:02,022
I moved back home,
but Dad walks around half-naked,
346
00:49:02,222 --> 00:49:03,582
forgets my name…
347
00:49:04,582 --> 00:49:07,182
And I can't sleep without Tramadol.
348
00:49:48,822 --> 00:49:51,182
Have I had breakfast?
349
00:49:51,982 --> 00:49:54,862
- I can't remember.
- Yes, you had it this morning.
350
00:49:58,062 --> 00:49:59,462
But you're…
351
00:49:59,982 --> 00:50:02,822
- You're very beautiful.
- Thank you.
352
00:50:03,342 --> 00:50:05,382
I'm going to write a poem for you.
353
00:50:06,222 --> 00:50:08,382
Let me take you back
to your room first.
354
00:50:08,582 --> 00:50:09,702
All right.
355
00:50:13,102 --> 00:50:14,942
We'll find your trousers.
356
00:50:21,262 --> 00:50:22,582
I'll take it from here.
357
00:50:22,782 --> 00:50:23,942
All right.
358
00:50:24,622 --> 00:50:25,622
Thank you.
359
00:50:45,502 --> 00:50:46,582
Good night, Agathe.
360
00:50:47,142 --> 00:50:48,382
Good night.
361
00:51:26,222 --> 00:51:28,102
You have no new messages.
362
00:51:28,782 --> 00:51:30,542
FĂ©lix hasn't tried to reach you
363
00:51:30,742 --> 00:51:33,622
and you still haven't written
a single line.
364
00:51:33,822 --> 00:51:36,262
You're wasting your time
at this residency
365
00:51:36,462 --> 00:51:38,502
and you're wasting ours.
366
00:52:11,942 --> 00:52:13,462
I baked them for ages.
367
00:52:13,662 --> 00:52:16,702
I know you like them crunchy on top.
368
00:52:16,902 --> 00:52:17,942
That's kind of you.
369
00:52:18,942 --> 00:52:19,982
I'll have a taste.
370
00:52:20,462 --> 00:52:21,662
Are you making progress?
371
00:52:24,662 --> 00:52:25,622
So good.
372
00:52:25,862 --> 00:52:27,382
How's your love story going?
373
00:52:28,742 --> 00:52:31,902
I can't wait to hear your reading.
374
00:52:33,382 --> 00:52:36,022
Well, I won't disturb you any longer.
375
00:52:36,222 --> 00:52:38,302
I have to go and look after Todd.
376
00:52:38,502 --> 00:52:41,102
Don't you ever get tired
of doing everything?
377
00:52:42,342 --> 00:52:45,102
Wordsworth spoke of…
378
00:52:45,302 --> 00:52:48,462
"Little, nameless,
unremembered acts
379
00:52:48,902 --> 00:52:51,582
"Of kindness and of love"
380
00:52:51,782 --> 00:52:54,742
as being the best part of life.
381
00:52:55,982 --> 00:52:56,982
That's beautiful.
382
00:52:57,182 --> 00:52:59,822
I love to see this house full of life.
383
00:53:00,022 --> 00:53:02,142
All the writers who come here…
384
00:53:02,342 --> 00:53:04,342
It's like a family, you know.
385
00:53:04,542 --> 00:53:06,462
And you're part of it now.
386
00:53:06,662 --> 00:53:09,422
Our Oliver has come home tool.
387
00:53:11,422 --> 00:53:12,942
He seems better.
388
00:53:13,862 --> 00:53:15,742
I find him more…
389
00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:20,022
I don't know.
390
00:53:20,942 --> 00:53:22,742
See you later.
391
00:53:49,142 --> 00:53:52,222
That's how I became
an expert in I Ching.
392
00:53:52,582 --> 00:53:55,182
And I had a lover in Shanghai.
393
00:53:58,102 --> 00:54:00,302
What are you plotting?
Can I play too?
394
00:54:00,502 --> 00:54:01,622
Go on, then.
395
00:54:02,462 --> 00:54:03,742
What do I have to do?
396
00:54:03,942 --> 00:54:07,022
Think of a question
and write it down here.
397
00:54:23,902 --> 00:54:27,982
"Is FĂ©lix in love with me?
Have we been afraid of our feelings
398
00:54:28,182 --> 00:54:29,582
"these last few years?"
399
00:54:30,582 --> 00:54:32,102
No, that's two questions.
400
00:54:32,302 --> 00:54:33,582
You have to choose one.
401
00:54:39,622 --> 00:54:41,182
Toss the coins three times.
402
00:55:19,262 --> 00:55:20,142
What?
403
00:55:20,782 --> 00:55:23,422
"Obstruction."
There's a block.
404
00:55:23,622 --> 00:55:26,102
A separation of yin and yang.
405
00:55:27,142 --> 00:55:29,822
You have to find an alternative.
406
00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:33,502
"A fallback situation
must be considered.
407
00:55:33,702 --> 00:55:36,862
"Many disappointments
will arise over time
408
00:55:37,462 --> 00:55:39,462
"in your love situation."
409
00:55:39,662 --> 00:55:40,582
I'm sorry.
410
00:55:41,582 --> 00:55:42,822
Can we do it again?
411
00:55:43,022 --> 00:55:43,702
No, we can't.
412
00:55:43,902 --> 00:55:44,902
- Come on.
- No.
413
00:55:45,102 --> 00:55:47,862
I hate these things anyway.
I'm going for a smoke.
414
00:56:06,422 --> 00:56:08,142
Hello?
415
00:56:08,902 --> 00:56:09,662
Agathe?
416
00:56:09,862 --> 00:56:11,742
Are you in a busy place?
417
00:56:11,942 --> 00:56:14,582
Yes. I can't hear.
Can you hear me?
418
00:56:14,782 --> 00:56:16,022
Yes, I can.
419
00:56:16,462 --> 00:56:18,222
Did you get my messages?
420
00:56:18,502 --> 00:56:20,742
Yes. Sorry I didn't call back.
421
00:56:20,942 --> 00:56:23,302
I've been busy at the bookshop.
422
00:56:23,702 --> 00:56:24,822
FĂ©lix?
423
00:56:26,342 --> 00:56:30,622
You're not ghosting me
or breadcrumbing me, are you?
424
00:56:31,462 --> 00:56:34,102
Just don't ruin this, OK?
425
00:56:34,302 --> 00:56:35,942
I can barely hear you.
426
00:56:36,302 --> 00:56:39,182
- What did you say?
- Never mind. Take care. Bye.
427
00:56:39,382 --> 00:56:40,662
I can't hear a thing.
428
00:58:04,102 --> 00:58:05,902
Shall we go to the pub?
429
00:59:28,462 --> 00:59:29,862
Are you leaving already?
430
00:59:30,222 --> 00:59:32,462
That depends.
Do you play darts?
431
00:59:33,422 --> 00:59:34,222
No.
432
01:00:13,542 --> 01:00:15,942
I'd rather you were conscious.
433
01:00:18,582 --> 01:00:20,382
Can't you just eat me out?
434
01:01:06,582 --> 01:01:07,822
It's me.
435
01:01:14,742 --> 01:01:16,662
You look like shit.
436
01:01:21,222 --> 01:01:22,742
What a welcome! Nice.
437
01:01:24,582 --> 01:01:27,822
I was on the ferry earlier.
I was afraid you'd realize.
438
01:01:29,142 --> 01:01:31,582
I've come to distract you
and take you to the ball.
439
01:01:31,782 --> 01:01:33,542
Why didn't you reply to my message?
440
01:01:33,742 --> 01:01:35,142
That was some message!
441
01:01:36,822 --> 01:01:38,822
I loved it. Thanks a lot.
442
01:01:40,062 --> 01:01:42,622
I just needed time to process.
443
01:01:42,822 --> 01:01:45,502
I've thought of nothing but you
since we kissed…
444
01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:48,542
This new turn of events
kind of freaks me out.
445
01:02:10,902 --> 01:02:13,182
Breakfast for two!
How splendid is that?
446
01:02:14,662 --> 01:02:17,022
We've wasted 10 years.
Let's not waste more.
447
01:02:17,222 --> 01:02:18,902
Kiss me! I missed you.
448
01:02:26,062 --> 01:02:27,022
Are you OK?
449
01:02:34,062 --> 01:02:35,502
Can I get you anything?
450
01:02:35,702 --> 01:02:37,182
No! Stay where you are.
451
01:03:01,062 --> 01:03:02,702
Here, put this on.
452
01:03:04,182 --> 01:03:05,222
All right.
453
01:03:29,862 --> 01:03:31,902
So what did you do?
454
01:03:33,382 --> 01:03:35,142
Sleep with both of them?
455
01:03:35,702 --> 01:03:37,142
No, neither.
456
01:03:38,462 --> 01:03:40,822
Oliver tucked me in
457
01:03:41,942 --> 01:03:43,782
and FĂ©lix woke me up.
458
01:03:44,182 --> 01:03:47,062
It was really weird but…
459
01:03:47,702 --> 01:03:49,422
not at all unpleasant.
460
01:03:50,062 --> 01:03:51,582
I'm relieved he's here.
461
01:03:51,782 --> 01:03:53,462
Relieved?
462
01:03:53,902 --> 01:03:55,902
That doesn't sound very exciting.
463
01:05:07,102 --> 01:05:09,022
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.
464
01:06:44,782 --> 01:06:47,742
Beth, I feel dizzy,
go and dance with FĂ©lix.
465
01:06:51,742 --> 01:06:52,822
I'll be right back.
466
01:07:02,422 --> 01:07:03,222
Is he nuts?
467
01:10:15,982 --> 01:10:17,182
No, turn!
468
01:10:25,502 --> 01:10:27,022
Don't do that!
469
01:10:28,462 --> 01:10:30,462
My nipples are sensitive.
Are you nuts?
470
01:10:30,662 --> 01:10:32,582
I'll have red marks too.
471
01:10:33,102 --> 01:10:35,222
- Don't do it again.
- OK, fine.
472
01:10:35,742 --> 01:10:38,102
- I mean it.
- I got it!
473
01:10:43,782 --> 01:10:47,022
Do you realize this house
is 300 years old?
474
01:10:48,142 --> 01:10:50,422
Have you seen
how thick the walls are?
475
01:10:53,582 --> 01:10:54,502
Yeah…
476
01:10:57,662 --> 01:10:59,222
I have, yeah.
477
01:11:10,022 --> 01:11:11,782
It's a nice temperature.
478
01:11:14,782 --> 01:11:16,022
Very nice.
479
01:11:18,102 --> 01:11:19,502
Should I open the window wider?
480
01:11:19,702 --> 01:11:21,742
No, it's fine as it is.
481
01:11:22,182 --> 01:11:24,222
There's a lovely breeze.
482
01:11:36,382 --> 01:11:40,222
Maybe there's a reason
nothing has ever happened between us.
483
01:11:43,862 --> 01:11:45,502
Was it that bad?
484
01:11:45,702 --> 01:11:48,502
No. That isn't the issue.
485
01:11:50,022 --> 01:11:53,542
But when we're side by side like this,
486
01:11:53,742 --> 01:11:56,782
I just want to eat kebabs
and watch TV together.
487
01:11:58,462 --> 01:12:01,182
Well, we know each other inside out.
488
01:12:02,462 --> 01:12:04,582
So it'll take us a bit of time…
489
01:12:05,382 --> 01:12:07,662
to adjust to this new situation.
490
01:12:07,862 --> 01:12:10,382
- Are you serious?
- Yes. It's perfectly normal.
491
01:12:11,422 --> 01:12:14,382
With you, I have found
my double flame at last.
492
01:12:14,582 --> 01:12:16,022
Fuck no, FĂ©lix!
493
01:12:16,222 --> 01:12:19,422
You quote Octavio Paz
to every girl you sleep with.
494
01:12:19,622 --> 01:12:21,782
Don't say that crap to me!
495
01:12:22,422 --> 01:12:26,182
Us being together is self-evident,
but we refused to see that.
496
01:12:26,942 --> 01:12:29,422
So it's normal to feel afraid.
497
01:12:29,982 --> 01:12:31,982
What's there to be afraid of?
498
01:12:34,462 --> 01:12:35,822
Well…
499
01:12:40,782 --> 01:12:43,102
Aren't we just afraid
of ending up alone?
500
01:12:43,302 --> 01:12:44,102
No.
501
01:12:45,782 --> 01:12:49,582
- I've always wanted to sleep with you.
- You want to sleep with everyone!
502
01:12:55,942 --> 01:12:57,262
I adore you.
503
01:12:58,982 --> 01:13:00,502
But I don't feel…
504
01:13:01,382 --> 01:13:04,102
that little inexplicable spark.
505
01:13:07,462 --> 01:13:10,662
So that's it, huh?
You won't even give us a chance.
506
01:13:11,622 --> 01:13:12,582
Sorry.
507
01:13:12,782 --> 01:13:14,222
It isn't that.
508
01:13:15,742 --> 01:13:17,102
- Where are you going?
- For a walk.
509
01:13:17,302 --> 01:13:20,302
- I'll come with you.
- No. I'm going alone.
510
01:13:52,102 --> 01:13:53,742
- Are you mad at me?
- No.
511
01:13:54,182 --> 01:13:55,622
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
512
01:13:57,382 --> 01:14:00,262
- Should I stay for the reading?
- Definitely not.
513
01:14:00,462 --> 01:14:02,822
It's more stressful
with loved ones present.
514
01:14:03,582 --> 01:14:05,542
- We'll see each other soon.
- Yep.
515
01:15:29,542 --> 01:15:31,062
What a fucking surprise!
516
01:15:33,462 --> 01:15:35,222
Was it you who spat at me?
517
01:16:53,942 --> 01:16:55,302
Are you leaving already?
518
01:16:56,462 --> 01:16:59,982
Don't tell me it's because
of your reading.
519
01:17:03,102 --> 01:17:04,222
Beth…
520
01:17:06,582 --> 01:17:07,862
I'm sorry.
521
01:17:09,262 --> 01:17:10,822
I lied to you.
522
01:17:12,382 --> 01:17:15,582
I haven't written anything,
not a single word.
523
01:17:17,302 --> 01:17:20,382
I'm not a writer.
I need to accept that and move on.
524
01:17:21,302 --> 01:17:24,822
You should have told us
you had hit a dry spell.
525
01:17:25,022 --> 01:17:29,142
So many residents have before you.
526
01:17:29,342 --> 01:17:33,062
We loved the first chapters
of your novel.
527
01:17:33,262 --> 01:17:34,622
Just ask Oliver.
528
01:17:35,382 --> 01:17:38,782
He said that your first chapters
were the most promising
529
01:17:38,982 --> 01:17:40,782
he had read in years.
530
01:17:42,222 --> 01:17:44,182
Thank you again for your kindness.
531
01:17:44,822 --> 01:17:46,302
I'll never forget you.
532
01:17:46,502 --> 01:17:47,662
I'm so sorry.
533
01:18:00,302 --> 01:18:02,142
The bus doesn't run on Sundays.
534
01:18:40,902 --> 01:18:45,142
Have you ever had the feeling
you were made for something or someone?
535
01:18:46,182 --> 01:18:48,902
That it was just a matter of luck
536
01:18:49,662 --> 01:18:50,942
or timing?
537
01:18:51,142 --> 01:18:55,222
Are you talking about writing
or your boyfriend?
538
01:18:55,422 --> 01:18:56,782
He isn't my boyfriend.
539
01:18:58,502 --> 01:19:01,022
And I'm sorry about what happened.
540
01:19:01,462 --> 01:19:03,222
I was talking about writing.
541
01:19:03,862 --> 01:19:05,502
I always found excuses.
542
01:19:05,702 --> 01:19:09,382
I thought conditions needed
to be perfect to write.
543
01:19:10,302 --> 01:19:14,222
And that I had to experience
interesting things to write but…
544
01:19:14,622 --> 01:19:16,542
that's all bullshit.
545
01:19:17,182 --> 01:19:18,582
At least I know that now.
546
01:19:20,382 --> 01:19:23,742
Writing is like ivy…
547
01:19:25,342 --> 01:19:30,142
like weeds and plants:
it needs ruins to exist.
548
01:19:34,902 --> 01:19:36,502
Look for your ruins.
549
01:19:41,782 --> 01:19:44,462
Tramadol and Lexomil
are on a boat. Who falls in?
550
01:19:44,662 --> 01:19:45,822
What?
551
01:19:46,022 --> 01:19:47,662
Nothing, forget it.
552
01:19:56,262 --> 01:19:57,382
Bye.
553
01:21:47,262 --> 01:21:49,062
Are you at the Bergeronette?
554
01:21:49,982 --> 01:21:51,142
Yes.
555
01:21:51,702 --> 01:21:55,182
You really shouldn't leave the keys
under the flowerpots.
556
01:21:55,382 --> 01:21:57,982
It's the first place burglars look.
557
01:21:58,302 --> 01:22:00,062
You might as well leave the door open.
558
01:22:00,262 --> 01:22:01,542
Agathe?
559
01:22:02,222 --> 01:22:04,662
- What?
- You're such a pain.
560
01:22:10,902 --> 01:22:12,142
Are you OK?
561
01:22:17,062 --> 01:22:20,302
Well, I feel great joy
562
01:22:20,502 --> 01:22:22,462
and immense sadness too.
563
01:22:23,862 --> 01:22:25,542
I know, sweetie.
564
01:22:25,902 --> 01:22:27,622
It'll pass, you'll see.
565
01:22:33,702 --> 01:22:35,382
Remember what Dad used to say?
566
01:22:36,542 --> 01:22:41,382
"Literature is the only remedy for
the disorder of thoughts and feelings."
567
01:22:41,822 --> 01:22:44,382
I never did get his theories.
568
01:22:44,662 --> 01:22:48,142
Dad kind of crushed you
with his literature crap.
569
01:22:48,342 --> 01:22:51,582
Don't you think it's time
you told him to piss off?
570
01:22:52,662 --> 01:22:54,062
He's dead, Mona.
571
01:22:54,262 --> 01:22:56,422
All the more reason.
572
01:25:22,342 --> 01:25:25,622
Dear Oliver,
Thank you for your gardening tips.
573
01:25:25,822 --> 01:25:29,142
I found my ruins.
574
01:26:15,582 --> 01:26:17,542
- Hi!
- Everyone OK?
575
01:26:20,862 --> 01:26:23,342
Penetration is extremely painful…
576
01:26:23,542 --> 01:26:24,822
Is this
The Lion King?
577
01:26:31,622 --> 01:26:33,822
Excuse me, sorry. Thanks.
578
01:26:34,022 --> 01:26:36,502
There's a letter for you.
It's on the fridge.
579
01:26:38,182 --> 01:26:43,182
The hairs on the tip of the male's penis
are as hard as spines
580
01:26:43,382 --> 01:26:46,862
but necessary to trigger
ovulation in the female.
581
01:26:49,942 --> 01:26:51,382
- Well?
- Who's it from?
582
01:26:53,262 --> 01:26:56,302
An English publisher.
He loved my novel.
583
01:26:56,662 --> 01:26:57,662
That's fantastic!
584
01:26:57,862 --> 01:27:00,222
Cheer up!
Don't kill yourself out of joy.
585
01:27:00,422 --> 01:27:01,622
Smile!
586
01:27:02,782 --> 01:27:04,262
Congrats, old cowl!
587
01:27:43,702 --> 01:27:46,142
There's a Jane Austen quote
on the mirror.
588
01:27:48,342 --> 01:27:49,622
With my name on it!
589
01:27:50,142 --> 01:27:51,262
Great.
590
01:27:51,462 --> 01:27:52,982
Who made such a lame joke?
591
01:27:53,182 --> 01:27:56,342
Don't look at me!
How would I know?
592
01:27:56,742 --> 01:27:57,982
You're weird.
593
01:28:13,862 --> 01:28:14,862
Thank you.
594
01:28:17,382 --> 01:28:20,742
And the final poem this evening
595
01:28:21,142 --> 01:28:23,222
is
Path by Jack Hirschman.
596
01:34:08,502 --> 01:34:10,862
Subtitles by Susannah Rooke
597
01:34:11,062 --> 01:34:13,422
Subtitling TITRAFILM
40741
