All language subtitles for Twisted.Metal.S02E04.Lzgtbzy

So, you want to steal
a bunch of weapons out of this place?

Looks like you're gonna need
a plan to do that.

Good thing I've got one.

So, here's the deal.

The cardinal rule of Diesel City
is no violence.

Dozens of snipers in there
make sure of that.

You die, it's from their bullet.

Diesel City is for buyers only.

So, whatever gas you bring
is swapped out for an in-house currency.

And while the bazaar has got a whole slew
of fine-ass weaponry,

the most lethal ordinance can be found
deep in the Emperor's inner sanctum,

locked away in a vault,
and for good reason.

These are game changers.
S-tier special weapons, the nasty shit.

They have an emperor here? Sick.

The biggest hurdle
will be opening up the vault.

The switch that controls the door
is way up there in the crow's nest.

So, how do we get into the inner sanctum?

Only the highest paying customers
are allowed.

And the people with the most money

are the representative
from the insider cities.

I think the official term
is a gaggle of fucknuts.

You blend in with them,
get yourself a lanyard,

boom, you're in.

I'll take the lead on this one.

-Really? You?
-Yeah, me.

I used to live with insiders.
I know how their brain works.

Do you even know
what an hors d'oeuvres is?

And you won't believe
how they spell that shit.

Listen, how are we going to blend in?
I mean, we're filthy.

I don't even know whose blood this is.

Here you go.

Mr. and Mrs. Dipshit reporting for duty.

Okay, so while you two look for the vault,

I'll sneak up to the crow's nest
and get the door open.

You have 30 minutes
to get your asses there.

Twenty minutes, yeah.

What? Thirty minutes.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

You got to be in and out, okay?

Mayhem, you'll stay back here.

Shit goes sideways,
we might need a getaway driver.

Oh, hell yeah!

I'll totally drive us
the fuck out of here.

-Is she ready for this?
-Yes.

Keys, bitch!

Thank you.

Okay.

You two ready to debut
the new spring collection?

Wow. You look like a loose turd.

-Goddamn.
-We good?

Yeah, we're good.

All right, let's go.

Bye! Don't die in there!

Offerings for the Emperor?

Twenty pieces each.

Welcome to Diesel City,

where commerce is created
and conflict is not tolerated.

Happy shopping.

Remember, vault door, 30 minutes.

That's a bold choice.

Knights of Nebraska.

I heard they took over Topeka
and then killed what was left of the law.

Guess they can wear
whatever funny fucking hats they want.

So, this is Diesel City. Holy shit.

Eight for all these?

And if you're interested,
I'm running a sale on .40 caliber.

Hey, they got grenades.

-Can we have some?
-We have grenades in the truck.

No, but these ones
have little metal pieces in them!

-I'll never ask for anything again!
-Not this time.

Thank you.

I know you're excited, but you need
to calm down a little bit, okay?

Remember, this is about us
winning the tournament,

-not about you buying whatever you want.
-I do want to win the tournament!

Exactly! And these bullets I got us,
they're armor piercing.

-Pretty sweet, huh?
-Yeah, I guess.

Trust me, you're going to have
plenty of toys to play with. Okay?

See, that's why
I like working with you, Stu.

You do the premeditating. I do the murder.

Speaking of,
I know killing is a big no-no around here,

but I'm pretty sure
I can get away with it.

I mean, it can't be that hard!

Stop, thief!

Oh, shit.

Way to go! You really misted that guy.

Oh, man!

See? That's why you gotta behave.
They're always watching.

Where there's a willing clown,

there's a way to murder.
Know what I'm saying?

Look, why don't you go pick out
something special for the tournament?

Here you go. Get whatever you want,
so long as it's useful.

Okay? Have fun.

And no murder.

Sure thing, Stu!

Okay. We need to get
some lanyards without a fight.

Any ideas?

-No.
-Oh, way to take the lead.

Here come some insiders. Okay.

Guess I'm gonna have to pull out
the big guns.

Hello, boys.

Oh, you can't be serious.

Look, you're a cute chick, Quiet,

but you look like you're trying
to push out a fart right now.

What are you doing here anyway?
You're supposed to be in the car.

Well, I'm helping your awkward asses.
That's what I'm doing.

-Oh, shit.
-Where'd you get those?

Well, I asked nicely
and they just gave them to me.

-What do you think?
-Not bad.

Good pull, May.

No. No way.
This guy doesn't even look like me.

-He wears glasses.
-Got you covered, chief.

This isn't gonna work.

How is everything so crisp and clear?

-What are you talking about?
-You know how the world is usually blurry?

With these, it…

Well, you got to try these.

Like, have your eyes
always been that color?

-Well, I've done my job.
-Hey, your job is getaway driver!

-You're going back to the car, right?
-Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Glasses.

They're working.

Welcome back, Mr. Davis.

Yeah, of course.

Ms. Tomaso.

And good tidings to you
from the fine people of Spokane.

-Sure, whatever
-Spokane go bragh.

Okay.

We can tell Mayhem
we found Fucknut Island.

Ooh, look, drinks.

Hey, this flavor is intoxicating.

Oh, damn, that is sweet.
Usually that means it's full of booze.

Oh, yeah, it is.

There's His Highness.

Yeah, so someone actually,
like, killed my lube guy.

It's crazy. Like, who would kill
an essential worker, like…

I bet the vault's behind there.

So rude.

Okay, let's just lay low

-and make our way over.
-Right.

-Just, you know, blend in.
-Yeah.

Do you know who they are?

Looking like we got a couple bogeys.

-And now we have got to go right now.
-Go, go, go, go! Abort!

Well, well, well.

Where the fuck do you think you're going?

So, what exactly are you two up to?

Top of the morning to you, sir.

-I'm Deb from Spokane--
-I can see your badge.

Yeah, I'm Rick, but you can call me
Big Rick from Kirkland.

Yummy.

You know, I've never heard
a Spokane accent before.

It's fucking hideous!

I love it.

-Stupid accent.
-So, what I want to know is,

what are you guys doing here together?

Kirkland and Spokane
haven't had diplomatic relations

since the manure conflict.

Trying to turn
my little weapons market soiree

into a peace summit, are we?

-Aye, that we are, sir.
-Guilty.

Oh, really? Okay.

How is Kirkland since the whole sabotage?

We're… maintaining.

Poisoning their drinking water
with laxatives was genius.

Break their sewers, fill their hospitals,
make them feel dirty for once!

Girl, Spokane don't play! No, no, no!

Aye! We almost killed those bastards,
and their weans.

Is that even you?

Looks like someone benefited
from those laxatives.

Right?

Diarrhea looks great on you.

He's still full of shite though.

Deb. I love Deb. You know, it's so funny.

I can't understand
a fucking word you're saying,

but this whole lovers
from different towns,

Romeo and Juliet bullshit
gets me rock fucking hard.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got to go prepare for the main event.

Enjoy the auction.

Stay hydrated.

That was too fucking close.

-Banana berry. Fucking yum, dude.
-Amazing.

Fifteen coins for one missile?
That's highway robbery. I can give you 12.

Twelve? Twelve is an insult.

Stu! Stuart! Ta-da!

Hey, I need some of those coins back.

Sorry, fresh out.
This thing is gorgeous, right?

-It's real velvet. Touch it.
-You spent all of our money,

the money we need for actual weapons,
on a stupid cape?

Watch this.

Hey, what are you…

Shit!

I killed two other yo-yos like that
the same way.

-No one even noticed!
-Unbelievable.

Even when we have a plan,
you still just do whatever you want to do.

I don't think you understand.
I am investing in history,

because this cape
belonged to Count Dracula!

No way that's true!

The vendor I bought this from
was a learned man,

not a chance he would lie to me.

Regardless if it was owned by a Dracula,
the point is, I asked you for one thing,

-one simple thing-- What?
-You need to come with us, sir.

What? Why? Sweet Tooth, a little help!

-Sweet Tooth!
-Catch you later, Stu!

Count Sweet Tooth is on the hunt.

Is he still looking at us?

Yeah. Look, there's only 15 minutes left.

Let's just scope out
what we want out of the vault.

Like this. "Ghost Missiles."
I wonder if they can go through walls.

Every missile goes through walls.

How about this?

"Boomerang Blast."
Don't tell me they come back to you.

Oh, that would be so useless!

Don't be so quick to discount
the Boomerang Blast.

It's more difficult to master, yes,
but it is one of our more lethal options.

It feels like ease of use
would be sort of key there.

A lady who knows what she wants.

If you prefer something a bit simpler,
may I suggest the Napalm Cones?

These rockets deploy liquid napalm.

They can melt an outsider's skin
in seven seconds flat.

I'm assuming this is
for perimeter defense, yes?

-Aye, of course.
-New San Francisco

just implemented this system
and is very pleased with the results.

They cleared out an entire encampment

of pedestrians near their gates
lickety split.

The smell will go away… eventually.

-That's fucked up, man.
-It is, isn't it?

Oh, thank you so much, sir.

Keep it together.

The people outside the walls
are just trying to hang on.

This guy's talking about them
like they're roaches.

Every city has weapons like this now.

Every one.

Keeping people out isn't enough anymore.
They want them gone.

I know people on the inside, guards, even.

And they don't say anything
about stuff like this.

Yeah. You think they would tell you?

Fuck them and fuck this!

We're taking them all down.
The system, the walls, all of it.

Okay, chin-chin!
Everybody wrap up your bids,

and we will announce the winners
after playtime.

Everybody follow me!
Come on, you little rats.

Come to your Pied Piper.

"Playtime"?

Hey, studs.

Mind if I cape in?

Thanks.

Oh, thank you!
Never killed with a lady before,

-masked or otherwise. I'm--
-Sweet Tooth. I know.

Finally someone gets it.

It would be my honor
to kill alongside you.

Whatever.

Oh, I like her.

I'll take your coats.

Thank you, my good man.

Wear these. One Vulture, one Holy Man.

Are you leaving your bottoms on?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Suit yourselves, weirdos.

You like that, daddy?

Give me the package, Milkman.

You love being on the outside, don't you?

Dirty little outsiders.

Yes, play your roles,
you Holy Men, you Butchers.

Revel in your lawlessness,
you nasty little Vultures.

And remember, no pleasure
is forbidden on the outside.

Hello, Mr. Holy Man.
I'm a ripe little trash boy.

Rip me open.

I understand role playing, man,
but I'll pass.

You look awful thirsty.
How about a cup of freshly squeezed ass?

I've had my share of trash ass
for today. Thanks.

Shoulders, Pantalaimon.

This way.

Our Vulture nest was raided last week.

-Excuse me?
-And it was all your fault.

Now you have to pay the price… in skin.

No, thank you. Oh, look, a Holy Man!
My skin is his prisoner now. Sorry.

What about my ass?

-She's kind of hot, right?
-Yes, absolutely.

Just trying a little too hard, you know?

Harder!

His Majesty is looking at us.
Just, you know, play along.

Sell it.

Oh, yeah, I'm an outsider.

I deserve to be on all fours
like a bad, bad doggy.

Yeah. I'm a dirty doggy boy too.

Sorry. Missionary.

Don't stop, don't stop!

-This is really bad on the knees.
-Yeah, that's what I've been saying.

And now a treat.

I looked around Diesel City today
for the crudest, sweatiest,

most deliciously desperate outsider
I could find.

And then I brought him back here
so we could punish him with pleasure.

Ladies and gentlemen,
behold your King of Dirt.

Have you guys tested out this machine?

-They're distracted. Let's move!
-Yeah.

John!

-It's me, Stu.
-It calls itself "Stu."

Stu. Stu. Stu.

-Stu. Stu.
-Oh, this is a sex thing?

-Did I win a contest or something?
-Stu. Stu.

-Stu.
-Stu.

-Stu. Stu.
-Stu. Stu.

Just a few lasers between us
and the weapons.

Not just lasers. Shit.

We're cutting it close.

Allow me.

Oh, shit!

Oh, fuck yeah. Coming.

Hey, hey, you ever had a footlong?
I mean, it's not just more dog.

See, the ratio of bun to dog
varies the flavor in a very specific way.

-Fascinating.
-Yeah, I think so too.

And you're coming in, I guess.

So… So, are you normally a solo assassin,
or is this, like, a special occasion?

-I do what it takes.
-Oh, cool. Real go-getter, cool.

Just like myself.
Have you ever maybe considered teaming up?

I mean, obviously, I'm spoken for,
but I might be convinced

to maybe take on a third.

HVAC, water. Wait. EMP?

They've got
an electromagnetic pulse generator?

Killing electricity on demand
could be a game changer.

Especially in the tournament

I call dibs.

-Finders keepers.
-Losers weepers.

Shit, they got a lot of lasers.

This one's on me.

Hey, get your thumb outta there!

What about the weapons?
Dollface said we have to be in and out.

I'll be done in two and a half.

Wait! Where are your glasses?

-Is that better?
-Oh, my God!

Damn. How the hell do you get
out of this place?

No more sex. I'm depleted.

Holy shit. Holy shit! Jackpot!

And stay down!

Who wears a fucking cape?

Damn, kid.

Curse this high-quality velvet!

Mayhem, heads up!

Run, you little psycho!

Masked lady!

Hey! What's happening? Is that an alarm?

Halt! What have you got there, Stu?

You dare steal from me
after I gave you the gift of flesh?

-Kill him.
-You didn't fuck me.

I fucked you.

Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

-The alarm! Oh, my God, we gotta go.
-Did you finish?

We really got to go.

Where are all the weapons?

Where are our clothes?

-Fuck!
-Fuck!

This is what I get
for trying to collaborate.

Get out of my way!

Someone got attacked!

-Snipers down!
-Grab everything!

This is my kind of party!

-Sorry!
-Excuse me, sorry.

Come on! It's fucking cold in here!

-You!
-Oh, hell yeah. Giddy-up, bitch.

-Oh, where the fuck is Mayhem?
-Oh, shit!

-Where the hell have you been?
-That doesn't really seem like

the most important question
to be asking right now.

Looking good, guys.
May, you take Shrapnel.

I've got my own pony.

Yee-haw, Kit Kat!

Hey! See that bloody guy?

-Drew.
-Drew?

Drew!

Hey, Stu, you look kinda different.

I killed them. I killed them all.

-You mean, like "dead dead"?
-Yeah. It was awesome.

I knew you could do it, Stu!

Gosh, I'm proud of you.
Can't believe I missed it.

It's okay. I got you a consolation prize.

Okay, okay. Calm down, Stu.

-Yeah. Yeah.
-Napalm Cones? My favorite!

Stu, remember this day,

for on this day
you had your first massacre.

You became a man,
and this was your gore mitzvah.

Tell me everything.

I also had a lot of sex.

Gross. I don't want to hear
about any of that.

Decorum!

How'd you get an EMP?

All we got was armor piercing bullets
and missiles that come back to you.

I mean, that's not all you got.

-You're nasty.
-What can I say? We make a good team.

That we do.

-I hope it's enough to win the tournament.
-I'm not sure it is.

Ever since I met you guys,
I've seen a car man,

a weird grim reaper biker dude,
and a killer clown.

You're going to need someone
to watch your back…

which is why I'm entering too.

-What about the Dolls?
-The Dolls have their orders.

Think about it. Roadkill is fast.
You take the lead, I set up the EMP.

Boom! No more competition.

We race to the finish and make our wish.

And it ends before it even starts.

And in Shrapnel,
I'll be fucking unstoppable.

Also, do we have any T.P.?

-Yeah, got some in the car.
-Thank you!

Hold tight.

Tell me again about the cabin.

-You know I've never been there, right?
-I know.

Just… you know,
tell me anyway. Make it up.

The air is sweet.

At night, all you can hear
are the owls and…

stars as far as the eye can see.

-Kind of like now.
-Yeah.

Tournament starts tomorrow.

You think we'll win?