All language subtitles for The.Change.S01E05.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-RAWR_track3_[eng]

H--

No, I haven't told anyone

about Steve and the kids yet.

Stop ringing and asking.

Can you get off my case?

We've been through
all this, Siobhan.

Because too much time
has elapsed.

I'd look mental now.

Yeah, yeah. Well, Pig Man
isn't gonna tell anyone.

Stop shouting, Siobhan.

Can you stop shouting?

Can you stop shouting?

If you don't stop shouting,
I'm hanging up.

Lin's got no idea
what's in store for her.

Fiver she says her feet hurt.

And she keeps asking
to use the toilet.

And the waters too cold.

Won't like
the attention, neither.

The locals are doing a really
good job on Fayther's memorial.

Thanks to Lin.

They've finally got
their confidence back

after the straw men
harvest festival incident.

Can't blame us for that, Joy.

It were an abomination.

You said it looked
like Michael Fabricant

fell out of an aeroplane
in to a haybale.

And you set fire to it.

Fayther's memorial.
Just what the world needs.

Another monument
to a problematic man.

She'll be making a
Fred West water fountain next.

You should tell Linda
the truth about fayther.

Let her know that a memorial
to him is difficult.

Nowt to explain.
He were a bastard.

Oh, we're allowed
to swear tonight, are we?

- Thank fuck for that.
- Festival eve Town mouse.

- Say what we want.
- Nice dress.

- What, this old thing?
- Yeah.

Fiver in the charity shop!
Not my sort of thing at all.

I was just gonna try it on
to see what it looked like.

Then Tony said
I was too old for it,

which really annoyed me,
so I bought it.

I thought, "Well, Tony, you are
too old for women's jeggings!"

My God. Men telling women
what to wear.

It is so annoying.

My ex would only have sex
with me if I was in waders.

My ex wouldn't have
his picture taken next to me

if I was in heels, ever.

Not even on our wedding day.

Yeah, so we were sat down
in all of them.

My Dad said
that we looked disabled.

[ Gasps ] Hmm.

You look like a high end
Russian prostitute.

Oh, thanks Carm!

So you got it for Tony then?

What? No, 'course not. No.

I'm just saying
that what he said annoyed me.

Who'd you get it for then?
Must be a man involved.

-Uh-huh.
- No!

- Pig Man?
- Jealous, Carm?

Oh, my God. Why does everyone
think I'm bonking Pig Man?

It's so childish!

First my sister,
and now you lot!

Ah, yeah. Everyone loved meeting
your charming, polite sister.

Especially the Verderer,

who she called "some
fucking tree cheese gnome."

Whole town knows
you've bin hanging round

- down Pig Man's cave.
- Yes.

For his friendship.
And his frothy milk.

Well, as long as you're happy
being third, Linda.

After his porkers.
And Carm.

Pig Man and Carmel?

Nice!

But not consummated.

Unless you count him
giving her

his first prized veggies
every year.

That's enough, Agnes.

Pig Man's sweet potatoes,
and what he does with 'em,
is up to him.

So it was for Tony, then?

Oh, my God.

I didn't buy it for a man!
Okay?

- I got it for myself!
-Alright.

Also, if I was a lesbian,
which I'm not,

you wouldn't keep asking me
what woman I bought it for,

- would you?
- Yeah, I would.

- No, you wouldn't!
- Would do.

- No, you absolutely wouldn't!
- Yeah.

-No, you wouldn't!
- Would.

- You wouldn't.
-Would.

- You wouldn't!
-Would!

- No.
-We would!

I don't know how you stand it.

I r-- I really, really don't.

Everyone knowing
your business all the time.

Hold the front page!

W-Woman who normally wears jeans
and a t-shirt wears a dress!

Crisp packet blows out
of a bin and lands on dogs back!

- Which dog?
- What flavour crisps?

Did it stay on the dog's back
or immediately blow off again?

Forget about the dog!
It didn't happen!

I made it up!

We didn't mean to make you feel
self-conscious, Town Mouse.

Mnh-mnh.
You look great. Own it.

Thanks.

I'll-- I'll take that.

I think you're all
really beautiful, by the way.

Not just tonight
because you've dressed up.

We know we're beautiful,
Town Mouse.

Inside and out.

Don't need no one
telling us that.

- Oh.
- What?

Nothing.

Weird.

Ah, yeah. Thanks
for inviting me, by the way.

To your special night.

I don't normally enjoy parties.

Help me with this,
Linda.

Oh, God.

I'm rubbish at fiddly things
like this.

- And I hate pins.
-It doesn't have
to be perfect, Linda.

It's the love what goes into
something what makes it special.

-Oh.
-That's where
the magic comes from.

Everything at the Eel festival

has been made with love
by someone.

Oh.
Mutton dressed as lamb.

- What, me?
-No, what people called
older women what dress young.

-Mm.
- Haven't heard that in years.

Just pick something.

First thing
that catches your eye.

Right, well I used to pick
this with my mum.

-Perfect.
- Yeah? Okay.

I heard it shouted
at my mum once.

- On her birthday.
-No.

My Mum only ever wore
make up on special occasions.

Little bit of lippy,
bit of blusher.

I used to love watching her
putting it on.

Mm.

I will never forget the look on
her face for as long as I live.

-
- Just four words.

She was utterly crushed.

Of course she had to front it
out because I was there.

Just a bit of banter, eh?

Just a bit of banter.

They will never know the trail
of devastation that they left.

Just a few seconds
out of their lives.

She never got dressed up
on her birthday again.

Mutton dressed as lamb.

Another derogatory term
just for women.

Like gold digger.

Prick tease. Slut.

Ball breaker. Battle axe.
Harpie.

Is there an equivalent term

for an older man
who dresses young?

- A cunt?
- Oh, er...

- Linda and Joy:
-That's the one?

Now get a pin and just
pin it on wherever you like.

- Not there!
- Oh, my God.

It's not funny.

Oh, you're a natural,
Town Mouse.

- Just go with your instinct.
-You don't want too much

of the same thing
in the one place, though.

- Or the same colour.
- Or size.

Oh, right.
So it's not easy then?

And I do have to think about it?

Oh, I saw a really good film
at The Palace earlier.

-Which one?
- Okay don't-- don't rush me.

FBI thing.

The bloke with the smirk-y face
is in it.

You know , big eyebrow.

He was in that shit baby film
as well,

and-- and the--
and the musical

with the Australian woman.

Big quiff.
H-Him not her.

- Mark Kermode?
- Who's that?

Uncle Isaiah had a commode.

Was he in the OJ Simpson film?

- I haven't seen it.
- Made of oak. He died on it.

He was also in that film
with that woman

who was in that other film
by the same director,

and in the other film
she wore a yellow jumpsuit.

- Annika Rice?
- His bum slipped right down,

and they couldn't get him out.

Imagine that? Tryna hoik
a dead man out of a toilet.

Apparently, he still managed
to look dignified.

- What was it?
- John Travolta?

John Travolta!

- Film's called "Face/Off".
- Well done, Carm.

I couldn't remember what
a toe was called the other day.

I called it a foot finger.

You know the word for
"Plunger" escaped me.

I told my plumber
that I used a shit sucker.

Shit sucker.

Oh, that was a nice idea
of yours, Linda.

Getting the men
to bake the eel pie at the tree

for the Verderer.

Didn't seem fair
him missing out.

You'd have been a good mum.

Never thought about it?

Well...
It's just that I-I haven't...

W-Why do women
always have to explain

why they haven't had kids?

We're just chattin',
Lin, is all.

It's fine if you'd rather not
talk about it.

One in three pregnancies
ends in miscarriage.

Nothing to be ashamed of, Linda.

I got two buried out
in the woods.

Planted trees on top of them.

So they live on.

I never got that far.

Endometriosis.

Joy's the only one who got one
in the back of the net.

Oh. I-I'm-- I'm really sorry.

That's re--
That's really tough.

It's just that, you know,
being a mother

or not being a mother
is not how I define myself.

Never said it was.

W-Well-- Well then...
Well then, you know,

I just didn't meet
the right person then.

Well, there you are then.

The men got over the role
reversal this year, then, Carm?

Thinking they're loving
jumping over the fire.

Is that what they're doing?

Tradition goes
the Lady of the Flowers,

which this year is
the Men of the Flowers,

throws midsummer flowers
and herbs on a fire,

- then jumps over it.
- Oh.

Scares the dragons away.

Stops 'em from poisoning
our springs and wells.

Well, good job then.

- Another dick pic, Lin?
- Yeah.

- Won't be a sec.
-Careful
what you reply, Linda.

Once your vulva's
up in the cloud,

God knows
where it'll end up.

I'm a Catholic.

Even I haven't seen
my vulva yet.

I'm not about to put it
on a cloud!

Look, Siobhain.
It is a boring lie.

It will be much more exciting
if I'd killed someone

or if I was a paedophile,
but I haven't, and I'm not.

Just got a husband and kids
at home.

You-- You know,
a-a bit of support

wouldn't go amiss, actually.

A bit of compassion.

Like I showed you
when Father William told dad

that you confessed to him
to liking it

when dogs sniffed
your private parts.

And I'm sorry, I don't want
to have to bring that up again,

but you've made me.

I-I'll tell them tonight.

Okay. Bye.

Would've been much easier
if fayther had left a plan
for the festival.

He didn't believe
in writing nothing down.

A convenient belief system
for Fayther--

- being illiterate an all.
- Tradition went

he'd tell his so everything.

But he never had one.

Not a legitimate one,
in any case.

Tried passing you off as one,
didn't he, Carm?

Till you leaked on a pew.

Thanks for waiting for me.

About fayther's memorial.

It don't sit right with us.
He was a bad un, Linda.

Oh, no. I-- I'm sorry.

- He wasn't a...
- Jimmy Saville? No.

- Oh.
- But he were a bastard.

Then left everything to Ryan,
his illegitimate and only son,

when he turned 18.

But Ryan
doesn't identify as male,

and fayther
was never a fayther to them,

so they don't want anything
to do with it.

My God.

Ryan'll be master
of ceremonies tomorrow.

Eels don't have a gender
neither, so all fits nice.

We meet Ryan for the first time
tomorrow, as our sibling.

Nervous, ain't we, Carm?

We are.

Well, then...

We'll have a minutes silence,

and-- and I'll deal
with the rest, okay?

D-Do people know?
That fayther was a bad un?

No.
The community loved him.

It would absolutely break them
to find out.

Anyway, he's dead now,
so it's time to move on.

- It's time for change.
- Mm.

Who wears these?

The 10 best-behaved children.

Oh. What about all the kids
that aren't chosen?

Never did the Verderer no harm.
Not bein' chosen.

10 years on the trot.

Done right by them birds.
Living up that tree.

- He's a proper local hero.
- Cannot have been easy.

- Him scared of heights.
- And the dark.

And shitting in bags.

He's waited a long time
to be an eel child.

But he's earnt his place
alongside them kids.

Pig Man can keep watch
over the tree

while the Verderer's
at the festival.

Oh, they might've
rumbled us on them bones,

but they've still got a way
to go

- before they can start felling.
- Mm.

That won't stop 'em.
If that tree's left unmanned...

Listen!

The other one
will reply in a minute.

Yeah, we know, Linda.
We live in a wood.

Oh, I love it so much.

I never knew
it was two owls talking.

Linda and Carmel:

More action
than I've seen in a while.

Oh, now we're talking.

When was the last time
you had sex then, Linda?

Oh! Erm... I don't remember.
What about you lot?

- Oh, lunchtime.
- This morning.

Ménage à trois.
With me, myself, and I.

14th of February.

Oh, blimey,
that's precise.

- Must've been good!
- Yes, it was.

Must've travelled for that
then, Joy.

No. I didn't even
need to leave work.

- Nooo!
- What?

It can't be.

- No!
- What? With who?

-I won't believe it.
- Tell me!

No!

The Verderer?

So wrong,
it's right, Joy?

His fans better not find out!

Joy's fans better not find out!

- What's that?
- The men's night singing.

It's normally the womenfolk.

My God, it's lovely.

Come and try this on for me,
Linda.

Oh. What, me? Are you--
Are you sure that's okay?

- I need to pin it. For height.
- Was that fayther's?

-Yeah.
- It's so beautiful.

Don't have to try his horrible
cod piece on, as well, do I?

We got other plans
for fayther's cod piece.

Look. Moon's out.

Amazing, innit?

Hold still, Linda.
Just one more pin.

Do you ever think, "I wonder how
many more full moons I'll see?"

Nope.

All done.

What?

Oh, yes!

Shall we dance?

Come on, Joy.

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪

-Come on, Joy!
- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la ♪

If this was a film,
we'd be naked.

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
-

What are you doing?!

You're lucky I wasn't naked!
Get out!

Best you come quiet, Linda.

I'm not coming anywhere!

You can't just come in here
and rip the covers off me!

I've got tenant's rights!

Don't make me bash your
head in and put you in a bucket.

-I'm not an eel!
-Come on, Linda.

I need a wee!
Get Off!

We should do this again
some time.

But in wet mud.
Let go, Linda.

-Not my armpits!
-Let go!

Please!

- Oof!
-Just drag the bitch.

Get off me! What are you doing.

Oh! This is ridiculous.

Ag's, get off my bum.

Stop! I've got a hernia!

There's no need for this!

-Let go, Linda.
-

I'm too old for this shit.

Tell me where we're going!

I might just come!

♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing ♪

♪ Oh, Sally, my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing ♪

♪ She smiled and replied ♪

♪ "You don't know
what you're missing ♪