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1
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,079
Oh!
2
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,679
Ah!
3
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,759
Ooh.
4
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,280
Oh. Oh, wow!
5
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,120
My last night
on that shitty mattress.
6
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,160
Oh.
7
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,679
Why is everything orange?
8
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,559
Oh, shit, it's a fire.
9
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,759
It's a fire.
10
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,319
Fire!
11
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,279
This Saharan dust's
a pain, innit?
12
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,319
Where-- Where did you...?
13
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,159
S-S-Saharan dust?
What's that?
14
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:25,799
Dust. From the Sahara.
15
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,119
Gets blown over.
Be gone soon.
16
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,319
Oh, right.
17
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,639
Oh, I-I'm glad you're here
actually.
18
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:37,239
Erm, things haven't really
worked out as I'd planned.
19
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,519
Er, and so, I'm thinking
of moving on today.
20
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,359
I was wondering if I
could maybe get my rent back?
21
00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,879
- No you fucking can't!
- Oh, Jesus!
22
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,359
I-It's only been
a couple of days.
23
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,599
It's £400!
24
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,239
And it's already been allocated.
25
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,639
Ag's is saving up
for a drone camera,
26
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,079
help her find her ley lines.
27
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,599
Moving on to where, any road?
28
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,839
- I... I don't...
- The Sargasso Sea?
29
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,359
To meet your destiny?
30
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,959
Not all eels go the fastest way,
you know.
31
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,319
Some take a more
circuitous route.
32
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,679
But they all end up
back where they began.
33
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,760
Just like us.
34
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,959
Best get them tables wiped!
35
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,079
Oh, by the way,
third cousin Bernadette called.
36
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,159
She's on her way down
to the town hall meeting,
37
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,239
and she says
if she's not on the front row,
38
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,320
someone's gonna lose their dick.
39
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,199
Oh, come on.
40
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,719
Kids?
41
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,800
Kids?!
42
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:14,519
Bit tight,
but might just be my best
town hall meeting outfit ever.
43
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,279
- Morning.
- Morning.
44
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,879
Singing with the Nightingales,
what a load of bloody rubbish.
45
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,519
Ahhhh! Argh!
46
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:39,079
Oh, you dirty, lazy bastards!
47
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,439
Argh! Argh!
48
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,999
Argh!
49
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,039
Where is he?
50
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,319
Oh, now my shoe stinks!
51
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,240
Dirty bloody bastard!
52
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,639
You touch it,
you buy it, young lady!
53
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,039
Ooh! Oh, hello again.
54
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,519
I'm sorry, I didn't know
there was anyone in here.
55
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,159
Now we both
know that's not true, don't we.
56
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,599
- Eh?
- I don't blame you, Linda.
57
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,919
If I couldn't
see this every day,
58
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,959
I'd want a sneaky peak too.
59
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,759
- Honestly, I really wasn't
trying to see you without...
- Well?
60
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,839
- Might be a bit
snug round the arse.
- Snug round the arse?
61
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,959
Yeah. Yeah.
What's all this then?
62
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,399
Date? Interview?
Court case?
63
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,999
Less of the cheek young lady.
64
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,959
- These are for the Town Meeting.
-Ohh.
65
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,319
I gets new trousers
every year for the Town Meeting.
66
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,399
It's a tradition!
67
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,679
Started years ago when
they split during a meeting.
68
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,839
Now they have a sweepstake.
69
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,159
- Forget that old
Eel Festival, Linda.
-"The Second Sex".
70
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,959
Tony's Town Hall Trousers
71
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,039
are the highlight
of the calendar year.
72
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,399
They even got
their own Twitter account.
73
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,719
Tony's Trousers'll
be trending tonight.
74
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,159
It's only a curtain, Tony.
There's no need to shout.
75
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,279
So don't you tell no one
what you've seen here.
76
00:05:26,280 --> 00:05:29,559
Okay, I won't tell anyone
about your trousers.
77
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,039
And I won't be going
to the meeting anyway.
78
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,359
It's nothing to do with me.
79
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,839
Well, that's your loss.
80
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,640
Well, I've seen
your trousers now anyway, so...
81
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,319
"Few tasks are more similar
to the torture of Sisyphus
82
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:44,879
than those of the housewife."
83
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,319
Day after day,
must wash dishes,
84
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,639
dust the furniture,
mend, dirty dusty...
85
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,079
[ Distortedly ] Linda?
Linda!
86
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,799
Pick them up for us,
will you, love? Me back's gone.
87
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,079
That dress is far too young
for you.
88
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,160
Bon chance!
89
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,440
[ Quietly ] Bloody cheek.
90
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,359
He's annoying, isn't he?
91
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,719
I wouldn't kick him out of bed.
92
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,199
You men-- Oh!
93
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,680
You menopausal women
and your bloody fans.
94
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,719
Joy, how do you turn
this bloody fan off?
95
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,319
Joy?!
96
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,559
Joy, can you help me
turn this fan off, please?
97
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,399
-Alright.
- Turn it off.
98
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,759
- Oh, Joy, can you turn it off?
- It's alright, it's just...
99
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,159
Right. Yeah.
100
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,919
- It's this way. is it?
- Yeah, just...
101
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,440
Okay, I think I can do it now,
Joy. Thank you.
102
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:47,039
Thank you, Joy.
103
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,999
You're welcome.
104
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,159
- Morning, Joy!
-Morning.
105
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:11,079
Going live in three... two...
106
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,999
Coming to you raw, unfiltered,
107
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,999
and white like milk,
it's the Verderer.
108
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,319
Good morning!
Good morning! Good morning!
109
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,959
Forget International
Women's Day,
110
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,799
Pride Day,
and Martin Luther King Day.
111
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,199
Because today is the day
to beat all other days!
112
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,159
It's Town Hall Meeting Day!
113
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,879
I hope you've placed your bets
on Tony's trousers.
114
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,039
My money's on a pair
of jeggings!
115
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,639
And I'll tell you why.
116
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,279
Right, so I've been--
117
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,559
I found my tree yesterday.
118
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,159
- That was quick!
-I know.
119
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,639
I thought it would take
a few weeks at least.
120
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,720
Yeah.
121
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,879
So anyway, what I was
looking for wasn't there.
122
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,959
-Oh, no.
- So I guess it's time
to move on.
123
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,199
- Oh.
- Nothing keeping me here now.
124
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,719
Nothing here?!
Everything is here.
125
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,839
Tony's Trousers sweepstake.
126
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,999
- The Eel Festival.
- Mm.
127
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,240
Cat speed dating.
128
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,199
Tempting...
129
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,959
...but nah.
I like to keep myself busy.
130
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:11,679
So I'm expecting a good turnout
this year, fellas.
131
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,999
We need to nip this
Eel Queen nonsense in the bud.
132
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,839
I mean, if they can pick a woman
for this year's Eel festival,
133
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,879
God knows what they'll pick
for next.
134
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:24,199
It'll be a Vegan Leprechaun,
or a pansexual ostrich,
135
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,319
or a dyslexic dragon,
won't it?!
136
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,999
Fayther Watkins
would be turning his grave
137
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,639
if he could see his daughters
138
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,759
disrespecting
centuries-old tradition--
139
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,199
and our men--
in such a vulgar manner.
140
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,999
I've never heard of the like.
141
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,519
How can it be that...
142
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,879
It can't be.
143
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,079
It's a nightingale!
144
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,559
A nightingale.
145
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:59,199
Well, I never...
146
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,959
♪ Are you here
to give me a message ♪
147
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,479
♪ Little bird? ♪
148
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:11,039
♪ I can hear you, little bird ♪
149
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,120
Thank--
150
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,120
Dirty, lazy bastard.
151
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,999
Oh, sorry about that.
A nightingale.
152
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,559
Erm, [Clears throat] anyway,
153
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,039
look I wanna talk
about something
154
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,919
that's causing a lot of division
in the town,
155
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,759
and no, I'm not talking
about who gets to keep
156
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,159
Keith's Cat Cappuccino.
157
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,559
God rest Keith's soul.
What a terrible tragedy.
158
00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:42,319
But let that be a lesson
to us all,
159
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,999
autoerotic asphyxiation
is never a good idea,
160
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,439
especially if you live alone.
161
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,880
No cat should have
to witness that.
162
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,640
Or have to eat the orange
to stay alive.
163
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,799
No, today, I wanna talk
164
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,479
about the new redevelopment
of the town.
165
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,439
Yeah, the investment
and-- and prosperity
166
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,919
it'll bring to the area
is undeniable.
167
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,839
But I will not sit by
168
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,679
and watch our wildlife
and forest be destroyed.
169
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,479
Back after this.
170
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,559
So, are they building
a road through the forest?
171
00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,159
Uh-huh.
172
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,639
I assumed
they'd be going around it.
173
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,920
Nope. Right through the middle.
174
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,359
Dick pic?
175
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,239
- Could say that, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
176
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,039
Pig Man! Hello?
177
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,319
I've brought you
a goodbye present.
178
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,239
You washed your hair,
have you, Jan?
179
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,679
That looks clean enough
for me to eat my dinner off of.
180
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,759
Well, I try not to wash
it too often, Tony,
181
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,239
to let the natural oils
come out.
182
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,559
You need all the lubrication
you can get at your age.
183
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,239
Quiet, please.
184
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,879
Item one--
The Eel Festival.
185
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,799
Eh?
186
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,279
Tony's Trousers is always
item one on the agenda.
187
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,039
- No, he's right.
-It's-- It's not
188
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,079
just the Eel Sisters mixing
things up this year, Tony.
189
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,239
And I won't be intimidated by
third cousin Bernadette neither.
190
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,039
It's my meeting.
191
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,279
My rules.
192
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,879
Tony's Trousers Reveal
will be at the end.
193
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,839
Shame.
194
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,599
Now, as you all know,
195
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,439
the Eel Sisters are planning
some controversial changes
196
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:22,319
this year, since the passing of
their fayther, Fayther Watkins.
197
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,999
No one gives a shit
about the men in this town!
198
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,439
First they closed the mines,
then Diggerland,
199
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,279
and now, they're taking
our Eel King!
200
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,599
Fayther were a stickler
for tradition.
201
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,479
He'd never allow a woman
to take the role.
202
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,319
I'm sure once the paperwork's
through on his succession plan,
203
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,039
we'll see that I
was his intended.
204
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,399
Well, we all know
how long probate can take.
205
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,799
Until then, we decide who it is.
206
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,799
Whether they be born within
the said Hundred of Eel Lake
207
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,359
or whether they have done deeds
worthy to the community...
208
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,119
It's about finding
the right person.
209
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,759
Eels don't have a gender
210
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,599
until they go back to
the Sargasso Sea and reproduce.
211
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,239
Exactly.
212
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,039
So there were no need
for it to always be a man.
213
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,839
- Yeah. Could be a woman.
- Or a man.
214
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,039
- Or neither.
- Yeah.
215
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,439
Or both.
216
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,520
Yeah. Should be me.
217
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:35,959
Next item!
218
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,919
The Coal Face Morris Men
Controversy.
219
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,719
Tony, you wanna
kick us off here?
220
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,199
Yeah, well,
me and the boys blacking up,
221
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,439
it's not about black people,
is it?
222
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,159
It's about mining for coal.
223
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,719
Er, it's not actually
about coal, Tony.
224
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,559
Er, the blacking up
is a disguise.
225
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,199
- Eh?
- You know, you used to black up
226
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,639
- as a disguise.
-Eh?
227
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,319
Well, innit? Well, either or,
it's about colour! You know?
228
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:03,879
I mean, these bloody snowflakes,
229
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,599
they'll be banning
bloody night time next.
230
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,079
Oh, yeah.
231
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,039
-And liquorice...
-Yeah.
232
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,120
And then, er...
233
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,479
...tyres!
234
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,079
- So they might ban tyres.
-We mined ochre
235
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,519
and iron ore here
before coal anyway, Tony.
236
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:24,559
Yeah. So you could paint
your faces red or orange.
237
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,399
Why do things have to change?
238
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,959
We must hold on
to our British traditions.
239
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,079
We have kept hold
of our traditions.
240
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,799
The good ones.
241
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,959
But the festival has to change
and evolve to survive.
242
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,399
The man with the longest
willy used to put it
243
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,439
through people's letterboxes so
children could feed "the eel".
244
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,599
- Better now we don't
do that, innit?
- Woman #2: Exactly.
245
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,759
It's a reflection
of modern day Britain.
246
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,159
It is about holding on
to the core values
247
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,999
of being British,
being proud to be British.
248
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,639
I am proud to be British.
249
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,399
Just like I'm sure
Cheddar Man was.
250
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,159
Oh, leave the Cheddar Man
out of this, will you, Joy.
251
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,839
We don't mean you.
You're integrated.
252
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,759
- You know, it's all the others.
- Who's the Cheddar Man?
253
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,599
Isn't he in
"Wallace and Gromit"?
254
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:14,079
There wasn't a man made of
cheddar in "Wallace and Gromit".
255
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,199
- It was a sheep.
- I don't remember
a cheese sheep.
256
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,439
No, it was the moon, Judith!
257
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,679
The moon was made
of wensleydale!
258
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,799
How dare you?!
259
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,279
Honestly, can't you women
get some HRT or something?
260
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,119
No, we can't!
261
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,320
It's all run out!
262
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,479
There, there, there,
cousin Bernadette.
263
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,239
The Cheddar Man
was a fossilised man
264
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,999
that they found in a cave
in Cheddar.
265
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,759
Reckon he was the first Briton.
266
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,719
They used DNA
to reconstruct his face
267
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,359
and he had black skin
and blue eyes.
268
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,319
Our festivals
are for everyone.
269
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,919
They're a celebration
of what it means to be alive.
270
00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,319
To be human.
And that's all of us.
271
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:59,119
So if we start excluding people,
or making them feel bad,
272
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,399
then they're for none of us.
273
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,839
Please! Ple--
274
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,119
Please! Please!
275
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,319
Look, no one... no one will be
heard if we're all shouting.
276
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,519
You've all got the printout
of the Phase One plans
277
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,919
of the development.
278
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,759
Yes, Verderer?
279
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,799
What I'm saying is it won't
just be the beavers' habitats
280
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:39,039
destroyed if these proposed
redevelopments go ahead.
281
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,919
Fuck the beavers!
I want Starbucks!
282
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,839
Woman #2: Or a Costas!
283
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,599
Or Neros!
284
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,399
You women
and your bloody coffee!
285
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,119
How dare you?!
286
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,039
We understand
your concerns, Verderer.
287
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,359
No, you don't!
288
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,239
It's all about the money
with you people!
289
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,799
You think you can plant a few
new trees and that'll be it!
290
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,759
Well...
291
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,319
Well, we...
Argh. We did.
292
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,599
We did...
293
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,119
make best endeavours
to find alternative routing
294
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:11,359
- and to minimise the impact--
- No, you didn't! It's a lie!
295
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:21,319
Destroy ancient woodland
296
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,720
and thou will be cursed!
297
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,119
You finished those floors
yet, Alan?
298
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,519
Yeah, I'm just gonna finish up
'ere, Jan,
299
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,719
and I-I'll pop off 'ome.
300
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,039
The Eel Cafe's been in the
same spot since 1850.
301
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,999
It's survived wars
and plagues and Veganuary.
302
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,919
Its foundations are rooted
as the trees which surround it.
303
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,919
It can't just be picked up
and moved.
304
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,719
It won't survive.
305
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,799
Yeah, it's not just things
above ground
306
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,759
that need to be preserved,
it's what's underneath, too.
307
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,679
The mines have their own story
to tell.
308
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,639
Yes. Yes.
309
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,519
Look, I've made a note
of everyone's concerns,
310
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,479
and I will be feeding
those back,
311
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,679
but we need to move on
to the next item on the, erm...
312
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,879
Oh, you know,
the-- the list?
313
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,039
No. Not list.
There's a better word than list.
314
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,039
- Running order?
-No.
315
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,199
- Itinerary?
-Definitely not.
316
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,399
Oh...
317
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,199
The, well, you know,
the-- the...
318
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,239
the-- the-- Well, you know
what I meant, there's the...
319
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:29,279
- Agenda?
- Agenda! Thank you, Joy. Agenda!
320
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,759
Next item.
321
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,919
Tony's Trousers Sweepstake.
322
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,840
Go on, Tony.
323
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,839
It's jeggings! It's jeggings!
324
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,359
Jeggings!
325
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,039
It's jeggings!
I knew it was gonna be!
326
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,399
And that concludes
this year's business.
327
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,959
Well, we haven't finished
about the redevelopments yet.
328
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,719
They can't proceed
without tree felling orders
329
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,319
- or eviction notices, so.
- Is this an eviction notice?
330
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,520
I found it on Pig Man's door.
331
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,839
Pig Man says the forest paths
are being closed off
332
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,879
- at Mallards Pike.
- Mallards Pike?
333
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,239
What's going on, Janet?
334
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,879
I'm not aware
of any of this.
335
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,199
Mallards Pike wasn't part
of the proposed route.
336
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,799
Er, let me just, erm...
337
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,479
check this.
338
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,919
I don't-- I don't know
anything about this.
339
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,639
The plans must have changed.
340
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,879
Why are they closing off
Mallards Pike?
341
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,319
And what's the point
of this meeting
342
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:06,759
if you're ploughing ahead
anyway?
343
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,999
Oh, to get you all in one place,
I-I think,
344
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,239
so that they can get on with it.
345
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,199
Seems to me
like this meetings being called
346
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,799
under false pretences!
347
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,359
To keep us all away.
Including you, Janet.
348
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,599
- I think I just said that?
-She just said that.
349
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,680
She just said that.
350
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,919
No. I... I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
351
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,799
There are ancient oaks
in the path of that planned
route, Janet.
352
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,199
- My starlings! It's their home!
- I didn't know.
353
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:48,079
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
354
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,439
That's enough!
355
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,599
I'm so sorry.
356
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,680
Nice one, Linda.
357
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,119
♪ Oh, Sally, my dear ♪
358
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,279
♪ It's you I'd be kissing ♪
359
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,799
♪ Oh, Sally, my dear ♪
360
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,959
♪ It's you I'd be kissing ♪
361
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,239
♪ She smiled and replied ♪
362
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,799
♪ "You don't know
what you're missing" ♪
363
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:37,999
♪ Oh, Sally, my dear ♪
364
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,439
♪ I wish I could wed you ♪
365
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,759
♪ Oh, Sally, my dear ♪
366
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,239
♪ I wish I could bed you ♪
367
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,359
♪ She smiled and replied ♪
368
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:52,959
♪ "Then you'd say
I'd misled you" ♪
369
00:21:52,960 --> 00:22:10,479
♪ If all you young men
were hares on the mountain ♪
370
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,359
♪ How many young girls ♪
371
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:15,999
♪ Would take guns
and go hunting? ♪
372
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:34,159
♪ If the young men could sing
like blackbirds and thrushes ♪
373
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,400
♪ How many young girls
would go beating the bushes? ♪
27453
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