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1
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,639
You are the man, Steve.
2
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,359
If he does that again
I'm going in.
3
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,079
It's disgusting.
He's like a dog.
4
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,599
Oh, come on, Shell, you loved it
when you were little.
5
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,479
Oh, it's hot today, innit, kids?
Hot, hot, hot.
6
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,239
Oh, my God,
7
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,559
do you have to
swallow so loudly?
8
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,199
I'm sorry, right,
I can't stand it.
9
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,879
I'm going in.
We'll come back out for cake.
10
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,199
Just ring us.
We'll have our headphones on.
11
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,319
Hey, Siobhain!
Come here a minute.
12
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,559
What, can't walk now you're 50?
13
00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:12,479
Be dribbly wees next.
14
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,879
Do I swallow loudly?
Listen.
15
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,319
Have you taken your medication?
16
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,199
- I'm not on medication.
- Exactly.
17
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,799
Oh. Guess what happened
at work today.
18
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,959
An alien turned up and said
they'd all heard about
19
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,399
- your fascinating work stories.
- So, I was on the tills,
20
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,799
and this bloke dropped a bag
of peas, and the bag split,
21
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,039
and the peas went everywhere.
22
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,359
Leave it, Lin.
Let it go.
23
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,719
Have a day off.
It's your birthday.
24
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,039
No, no, no,
this won't take long.
25
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,639
So I said, "That's okay, mate.
26
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,039
You leave it.
I'll sort that out."
27
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,639
Doesn't look up from his phone,
28
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,159
doesn't acknowledge my existence
in any way at all,
29
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,599
but then-- then he looks at
this attractive woman behind him
30
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,159
and he goes like this.
He goes...
31
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,800
Siobhain, he goes-- he goes...
32
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,519
Then she rolls her eyes as well.
She was a right bitch.
33
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,039
I mean, I know you shouldn't
say women are bitches,
34
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,439
but some of them just are,
aren't they?
35
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,879
Anyway, so then I'm down
on my hands and knees
36
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,479
with a dustpan and brush,
and he goes,
37
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,319
"Are you going to be
much longer, love?
38
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,679
I've got better things to do
than watch you sweep up peas."
39
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,639
So I look up, and he's
there scratching his balls...
40
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,720
like that.
41
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,479
Sorry, Annie!
A man in the shop!
42
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,359
Anyway, I nearly faint,
43
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:23,679
because you know what I'm
like with men's genitals.
44
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,079
Why don't you have a nice drink
45
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,919
and a little break
from speaking?
46
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:29,719
Anyway, then I get back
to my chair,
47
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,799
and there's only blood all over
it, where I've leaked on it.
48
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,839
So him, he sees it
and he recoils in horror.
49
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,879
Thought, I'm not having that
after I've swept your peas up.
50
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,039
Right, so I looked at him
and I said,
51
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,319
"Oh? Oh, you can see me
now, can you?"
52
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,519
And then I looked at her
and I goes,
53
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,519
"Yeah, and you'll be invisible
soon enough an' all."
54
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,600
Huh.
55
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,079
Whoo, it's nippy
when the sun goes in, innit?
56
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,519
I get a creak in my neck.
57
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:03,759
Crick.
58
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,519
Eh?
59
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,519
Crick.
You said "creak."
60
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,879
Yes, I'm going to get a creak
in my neck, from the wind.
61
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:12,239
It's "crick"!
62
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,479
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, are you okay?
63
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,560
I am, yes.
64
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,319
It was so great of Steve
to organise all of this for you.
65
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:25,759
You're lucky to have him.
66
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,719
Hmm. Well...
67
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:32,079
I mean, I invited everyone,
got all the shopping, cooked it,
68
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,919
baked my own cake,
chose my own present,
69
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,399
wrapped it up,
and now I'm clearing up.
70
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,519
But...
71
00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,839
But, yeah, yeah.
72
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,079
I have had a really nice time.
73
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,159
- Lin! Lin! Any more sausages?!
- Yeah. Yeah.
74
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,839
Do another one.
Go on, Steveo.
75
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,799
- Go on.
- Go on.
76
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,799
Alright, let's have a bit
of hush, please!
77
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,159
I'd like to say a few words now
about my dear lady wife.
78
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,119
- Oh, no, no, please.
- Shh, Linda, it's your 50th.
79
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,199
-I hate it, though.
-The Birthday Queen.
80
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,759
Linda Jane Jenkins...
81
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,319
you...
82
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,239
are well fit...
83
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,639
for your age.
84
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,880
And a great mum.
85
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,879
So three cheers for Linda!
86
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,240
- Hip hip!
-Hooray!
87
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,919
Steveo.
Oh, go on.
88
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,439
Get it. Go. Go on.
89
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,119
Throw it to him.
90
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,119
Hey! Nice one, Steve.
91
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,399
Come on, babe.
92
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,559
No. Leave that.
I'll do it in the morning.
93
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,719
- Mum wants to cut the cake now.
- Oh, does she?
94
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,439
Oh, we'll cut it now,
then, shall we?
95
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,159
Is everything okay?
96
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,159
Couldn't you think of anything
else to say about me?
97
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,719
Eh?
98
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,039
Nothing.
99
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,559
Can you get the cake...
100
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,359
knife thing, please?
101
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,879
- The what?
- It's-- It's-- It's got a--
102
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,079
It's flat. It's triangle.
You-- You cut a...
103
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,439
- What triangle? What?
-...slice of cake with it
104
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:42,839
and then it catches it
underneath.
105
00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,159
-What?
- The cake knife thing!
106
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,839
What are you talking about?
107
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,279
It's okay. I'll get it.
You tidy up outside.
108
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,559
Got it. Here we go.
109
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,879
Ho ho ho ho!
Merry Christmas, everybody!
110
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,199
Go limbo.
111
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:05,759
Go limbo.
112
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,239
Ow! Ow! My back's gone!
113
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,639
- No, seriously, my back's gone.
-What?
114
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:09,919
My back's gone.
115
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,639
Lin! Lin!
My back's gone!
116
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,879
Lin! Nurofen!
117
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,519
Get the Nurofen!
118
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,840
Hurry up, Linda!
We're losing him!
119
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,279
Is that in case
you fall off the chair or...?
120
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:35,719
Hmm?
121
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,879
Oh, God.
122
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,839
I'm always forgetting
to take it off!
123
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,079
- How are you, Linda?
- Oh? Yeah. O-Okay
124
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,199
Erm, there's just a couple
of niggly little things
125
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,199
- that I wanted to talk to you...
- Well, I can only address
126
00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:56,999
one issue per appointment...
127
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,599
I think I might have early onset
dementia, and osteoporosis,
128
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,759
ringing in my ears
when I'm stressed, erm, anxiety,
129
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,199
depression-- oh, cardio
vascular disease, and a...
130
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,920
and a strange mental disorder
involving loss of nouns.
131
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:16,199
Oh, well.
That's quite a list.
132
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,119
Erm, and you're...
erm, 50 now.
133
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,679
Yeah.
134
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:24,719
- How are your moods?
- Fine! How are yours?!
135
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,159
Any irritability or rage?
136
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,679
Well, nothing unjustified.
137
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,279
Well, this all sounds
like the menopause to me, Linda.
138
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,839
The menopause?! Right.
139
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,999
So it was one issue then?
140
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,999
Just need to get on top of your
symptoms then you'll be tip top.
141
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,839
I'll print out a fact sheet
for you.
142
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,919
Gosh, how did I not know that?
143
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:49,799
Some women find the shift
in hormones liberating.
144
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,719
My wife's taken up
extreme climbing.
145
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,159
She hangs off cliffs
at weekends now.
146
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,279
Oh, I used to love climbing!
147
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:01,919
She currently in, er,
in the Yorkshire Dales...
148
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,919
-Vaginal dryness?
- Sorry?
149
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,759
Any vaginal dryness?
150
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,919
- No!
- Loss of libido?
151
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:17,799
S-Still in the honeymoon period.
152
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,359
Well, let me know
when you're not
153
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,199
and I can prescribe
testosterone.
154
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,639
No, it's fine, really.
155
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,279
It improves sex drive,
but it also...
156
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,519
My God. Can we drop
the sex talk please, doctor?
157
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,799
I get it.
You can prescribe me something
158
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,319
to keep me wanting sex.
159
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,199
I mean, I didn't
actually ask for that, but...
160
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,799
good to know!
161
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:36,439
Thank you, goodbye!
162
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,959
- And how is Steve?
- Not in my 10 minutes doctor!
163
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,439
Not in mine!
164
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,439
Thanks, then. Bye.
165
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,079
He's fine. Thank you.
166
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,999
Hang on. Hang on.
167
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,279
You're leaving me because I
didn't match up the Tupperware?
168
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,039
Not just because of that, no.
And I'm not leaving you.
169
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,959
I'm just going away
on my own for a bit.
170
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,519
- Well, then why then?!
- I just told you why.
171
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,359
Yeah, but I didn't hear you!
These are twice-baked!
172
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,440
I'm sorry.
They're really crunchy.
173
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,679
I'll tell you again
why I'm leaving,
174
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,919
but if you interrupt or zone out
175
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,280
I am going to leave you a note
instead.
176
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:15,039
I'm not gonna interrupt.
I'm not gonna zone out.
177
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,120
I swear.
178
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,519
I don't know for how long, Mum,
she didn't say.
179
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:28,920
She won't pick up. She said I'll
just ask her where things are.
180
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,480
Yeah. She's been saving up.
181
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,919
She said there isn't
anyone else.
182
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,120
She's gone to look for
some time capsule in a tree.
183
00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,519
She says
she wants to be more than
184
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,000
just someone's wife
or mother for a while.
185
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,120
I'm not being
a gullible dick, Mum.
186
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,959
Yeah, well, apparently
she's been adding up
187
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,319
all the so-called
"invisible work" she's done
188
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,319
over the past 25 years...
189
00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,279
...and writing it all
down in a ledger.
190
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:05,839
Every chore. Every second.
Every minute. Yeah.
191
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,920
She's taking some of that time
back now.
192
00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,199
♪ When I first came to town ♪
193
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,399
♪ They call' me
the roving jewel ♪
194
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,039
What do you mean
you wish you'd done that, Mum?
195
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,879
♪ Now
they've changed their tune ♪
196
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,199
- ♪ Call me Katie Cruel ♪
-And this bit's weird.
197
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,919
She said an "Incredible Hulk"
plaster gave her a sign
198
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,759
and that the Hulk is the only
menopausal role model
199
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:45,039
in the history of TV and film.
200
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,679
It's not funny, Mum.
I can't find the towels.
201
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,599
♪ Through the woods I am goin' ♪
202
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,919
- ♪ Through the boggy mire ♪
-I blame Dr. Spence,
203
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,639
putting ideas into her head.
204
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,999
♪ 'Til I come
to my heart's desire ♪
205
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,559
Well, Dave said lots of
menopausal women become selfish
206
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,640
when their oestrogen runs out.
207
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,119
Yeah.
She's taken the old beast.
208
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,800
No, not Siobhain, Mum.
Her Triumph.
209
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,999
No, she doesn't care
what people think.
210
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,599
She said I can tell
them whatever I want.
211
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,479
Lin's got cancer.
212
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,679
Du bist biker, old bird?
213
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,839
- Sorry?
- Bist du biker, old bird?
214
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,599
Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know
what you are saying.
215
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,999
He is asking you
if you are a biker!
216
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,199
Oh! Am I biker-- Yes.
217
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,280
Yes I am.
218
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,959
Okay, nice to meet you!
219
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,319
Bye.
220
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,320
There it is, there it is.
221
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,839
-There you go.
-Thanks, Carm.
222
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,719
- Man 2: Cheers, Carm.
-Alright.
223
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,519
Small, medium, or large?
224
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,519
- Small, medium, or large?
- Oh, sorry.
225
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,559
I was miles away there.
226
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,399
I've come for
the caravan actually.
227
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,120
N-Not the eels.
228
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,119
Er, I'm sure they're delicious.
229
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,559
It's just I'm a vegetarian,
that's all...
230
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,839
a-and I'm not hungry at all.
231
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,799
Vegetarian Townie here's come
for fayther's caravan, Agnes!
232
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,679
Oh, aye? How long for?
233
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,239
Oh, erm, 44,000 minutes maybe?
234
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,679
Sorry--
force of habit-- maybe a month?
235
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,759
Just passing through here then?
236
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,879
Listen here,
Vegetarian Town Mouse,
237
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,959
see that tree o'er there.
238
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,639
It's been here
hundreds o' years,
239
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,079
just like our forefaythers...
240
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,599
- and foremaythers.
- I'm sorry, which--
241
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,879
- which one?
- I am that tree.
242
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,759
And Carmel here
is that one o'er yonder.
243
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:12,959
An see this earth?
244
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,519
We were born on it,
245
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:15,919
by those bins over there.
246
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,119
And one day,
shall be returned to it.
247
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,439
We're a community here,
Town Mouse.
248
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,319
These here people,
these here trees...
249
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,759
These here eels. We're as one.
Humanity and nature.
250
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,719
Not separate. Like in towns.
251
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,399
We're proud o' these here lands.
252
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,999
So when someone only wants it
for a few weeks,
253
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,679
that don't sit right with us
do it, Ags?
254
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,599
No no, it do not.
255
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,679
I don't really know
what I've done wrong here?
256
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,879
I can't stay longer.
257
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,439
I'm literally just here
to find a tree and then--
258
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,959
and then I'll be moving on.
259
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,439
You can stay in the caravan.
260
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,999
But we got one rule--
No pets. No music.
261
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,039
No children.
No shittin' in bushes--
262
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,999
You look like the type.
Oh, and no loud sex.
263
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,080
That's five rules, I think.
264
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,199
Do you want this fucking caravan
265
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,479
- or not, Town Mouse?
-No, Ag.
266
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,239
-Yes please.
- No
267
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,639
-Got no pets?
- No.
268
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:08,919
- No friends?
- No.
269
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,000
- Nor children?
- No.
270
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,199
Cash up front.
400 for the month.
271
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,239
- That's fine.
- And it'll need a clear out.
272
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,040
No-one's been inside
since Dad died in it.
273
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,600
Wh-- He-- He's--
He's not still in it though?
274
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,759
It's a bit hard
to breath in here, isn't it?
275
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,119
Oh! Oh, a bit dusty,
it's really set--
276
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,799
settling on my throat.
277
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,559
You might wanna give
it a bit of a wipe down.
278
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,799
Aye? You want me to clean it?
279
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,879
Oh, I haven't come
all the way out here just
280
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,239
to clean up another man's mess.
281
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,079
And a dead one at that!
282
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,919
Oh,
283
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,079
I'm-- I'm sorry about that.
284
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,359
I just didn't expect to be
cleaning as soon as I got here.
285
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,679
No. No.
286
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,239
That's a deal-breaker
I'm afraid.
287
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,320
I'm not doing it.
288
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,199
Steve said you've left because
you've done some ironing.
289
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,559
Bollocks. Who is he?
290
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,759
Call me back.
291
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,119
Nice to see a bit of fresh meat.
292
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,759
- May I?
- No.
293
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,279
I absolutely don't want
you to sit down and join me.
294
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,319
Woman with a bit of spunk,
what, can read?
295
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,599
- Just my type.
- Oh, got a type?
296
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,519
You shouldn't be sitting here
on your own.
297
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:20,919
Pretty lady like you.
298
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,399
- Why not?
- S'not right.
299
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,439
Why isn't it right?
300
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,520
Eh?
301
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:31,519
Why isn't it right for an
adult woman to sit by herself,
302
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,720
reading and drinking?
303
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,679
I don't know.
304
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,760
I never really
thought about it before.
305
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,359
In case someone...
306
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:48,199
tries to rape you, I suppose.
307
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,280
What, in here?
308
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,879
Well there's never a right time
or place, is there?
309
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,159
Mean could happen anywhere,
couldn't It?
310
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,519
Hot air balloon...
311
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,600
Ghost train...
312
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,959
- ...in space?
- Space?
313
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,319
Well, where there's a will,
314
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,400
there's a way.
315
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,439
Ah, it's a long way off
for you, innit?
316
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,600
What the menopause?
No. I'm in it now.
317
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,559
Look, erm...
318
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,319
Oh, Tony.
Or Tone to my friends.
319
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,639
Tony.
320
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,239
You seem like a lot of fun.
321
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,239
But I'm 50 now.
322
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,559
I know I don't look it,
but I am,
323
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,279
and I've spent most
of my adult life
324
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,839
putting other people's feelings
and needs before my own.
325
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,399
Even those of complete strangers
like you.
326
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,839
Just politely listening along.
"Oh, really?"
327
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:54,519
But I'm not gonna do that
for a bit and it feels...
328
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,439
so great.
329
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,359
Time, Tony, is the most
precious thing we have
330
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:03,639
and yet we just squander it.
331
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:09,039
And your time, Tony, it's not
more valuable than mine, is it?
332
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,119
- No?
- No, it isn't. No.
333
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,639
So I'm gonna sit here,
read my book,
334
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,039
drink my pint, so you can
either sit there
335
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,999
and be quiet or go away.
336
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,559
But I'm not buying you a drink
337
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,559
and I'm not chatting
about rape in space.
338
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,640
Alright?
339
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,920
Yeah.
340
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,319
No chance of a blow job then?
341
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,840
No.
342
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,879
Not until I finish
this chapter anyway!
343
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,519
Ha!
344
00:23:48,520 --> 00:24:04,839
♪ Oh, Sally my dear,
it's you I'd be kissing ♪
345
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,079
♪ She smiled and replied ♪
346
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,759
♪ "You don't know
what you're missing" ♪
347
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:22,279
♪ Oh, Sally my dear,
I wish I could wed you ♪
348
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:27,480
♪ Oh, Sally my dear,
I wish I could bed you... ♪
25441
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