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1
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Previously... Your mother was
in a car accident this afternoon.
2
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:06,400
Oh, my God, is she all right?
3
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,680
She has no injuries.
4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,160
She was lucky.
Luckier than the pedestrian.
5
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,480
She's been taken to hospital,
unconscious.
6
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,560
And now you have to tell
the injured woman's family.
7
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,720
Mark, about that...
8
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,880
STEADY BEEPING
9
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,520
I'm sorry, but I'm afraid
10
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,520
I'm going to have to turn
the machine off.
11
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,880
Aww!
12
00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,960
CONTINUOUS BEEP
13
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,600
MRS BROWN CACKLES
14
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,680
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!
15
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,560
Agnes
16
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,800
Agnes
17
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,960
She's gone.
18
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,600
AUDIENCE GROANS
19
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,000
GROANS
20
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,640
Oh, for Christ's sake.
21
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,880
Mammy! She's alive!
22
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,320
ALL EXCLAIM
23
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,720
CHEERING
24
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,640
Yes, I-I think I got her back!
25
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,720
Your mother was never
in any danger.
26
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,880
The tests showed that,
at the worst,
27
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,480
we could expect a herniated disc,
28
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,760
affected in the nucleus pulposus
and the lumbar vertebra.
29
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:30,880
Exactly.
30
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,240
But you said you had
to switch off the machine.
31
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,480
That's the coffee machine,
32
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,080
it makes
the most horrendous noise.
33
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,880
Touch that coffee machine,
Dr Jekyll,
34
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,840
and you'll be dealing
with Mrs Hyde
35
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,600
and the fists of fury.
36
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,680
Where am I? You're in the hospital,
Mrs Brown.
37
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,480
What? Why? What happened?
38
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,880
Ohh...
39
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,400
Right, well, I'm off.
40
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,200
Take me home, Sharon.
41
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,640
I'm driving.
42
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,800
Now, get me out of this stuff
and get me home.
43
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,600
Not so fast, Mrs Brown,
doctor's orders -
44
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,160
you need to stay in overnight
for observation.
45
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,520
She's right, Mammy.
46
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,680
Er, Cathy, would you mind staying
and doing some paperwork?
47
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,600
But the rest of you have to go,
she needs rest.
48
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,360
We got such a fright, Mammy.
49
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,760
Really?
50
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,480
Everybody was even starting
to talk
51
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,080
about their happy memories
of Mammy.
52
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,560
So, what were yours?
53
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,880
What?
54
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,600
Your happy memories.
55
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,640
Oh, they were...
56
00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:41,760
Yeah?
57
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,280
Well, you know...
58
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,320
Go on, yeah.
59
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,280
That time we went...
60
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,800
Er, Cathy, would you mind doing
that paperwork now?
61
00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,040
Oh, I'm on my way.
62
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,680
She's so good.
63
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,240
I don't remember
64
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,160
any buckin' happy times with her.
65
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,440
Mrs Brown will be home soon.
66
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,360
I'll bet you're looking forward
to it.
67
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,720
Yeah, I can't wait, Father.
68
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,080
CHUCKLES
69
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,440
Gobshite.
70
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,280
Grandad is so excited
about Agnes coming home.
71
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,640
Really?
72
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,880
Yes. I'm a bit excited myself.
73
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,520
HORN TOOTS
That's them. She's here.
74
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,600
Come on, Mammy,
slowly does it.
75
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,360
I'm going slow.
76
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,320
Just get your leg over there.
77
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,880
That's not the first time
you've done THAT.
78
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,960
Shut up, you.
Here, let me help you.
79
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,160
Get your hand off my arse! Sorry.
80
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,000
I got Mammy a mobility scooter.
81
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,880
She's embarrassed about using it
82
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,240
so don't make a big deal about it,
OK?
83
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,240
Keep her coming,
keep her coming...
84
00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,720
Keep her coming.
85
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,760
Left a bit, left a bit.
That's it. Keep...
86
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,440
LOUD CRASH
87
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:58,760
MEOW!
88
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,160
Hold it there!
89
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,760
Back her up, back her up!
REVERSING ALARM
90
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,320
OK, straighten.
91
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,760
OK, slowly,
92
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,520
just put your hand
on the accelerator.
93
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,520
Slowly, that's it.
94
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,200
Come on, come, OK.
95
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,520
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
96
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,320
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
97
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,920
Jesus, Jesus!
98
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,000
CHEERING
99
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,480
APPLAUSE
100
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,960
I'm home!
101
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:33,040
I'm not happy about
this scooter thing, Dermot.
102
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,040
Look at me, Dermot, I'm driving!
103
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,480
You're doing great, Ma.
104
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,760
This is fantastic.
105
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,160
I'm going to pimp me ride.
106
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,360
Please be careful, Mammy.
107
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,280
Cathy, look at me, I'm free!
108
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,240
Does she need a licence
for that thing?
109
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,720
No! Should she not at least be
wearing a helmet, Dermot?
110
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,440
Will you relax? She's fine.
111
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,000
Yeah, Cathy, relax, will you?
112
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,520
You're killing me buzz.
113
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,080
Cathy, that scooter has all
the latest safety technology.
114
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,680
It's almost uncrashable.
115
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,200
CRASH!
116
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,920
MRS BROWN WAILS
117
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,520
You all heard me - I said "almost".
118
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:10,840
I'm fine! I'm fine!
119
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,400
I'm telling you, Dermot,
she has no control
120
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,120
over that thing.
WHIRRING
121
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:16,760
It's an accident
waiting to happen.
122
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,080
Somebody is going to get...
I need to talk to youse all.
123
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,480
Jesus, Mammy!
124
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,840
LAUGHTER
REVERSING ALARM
125
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,240
Youse have all been very kind.
126
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,440
And I thank you.
127
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,760
Now, I think my recovery's
going to be a short one.
128
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,280
Oh...
129
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,400
But I can't do very much
so I'm going to need a lot of help.
130
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,120
With the house, you know.
131
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,960
And with Grandad.
132
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,800
Well, Ma,
it's great to have you back.
133
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,080
But I have to get into work.
134
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,400
Lift, Cathy?
135
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,960
Yeah, us too.
Come on, Buster, let's go.
136
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,200
Dermo, what about the surprise?
137
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,720
Oh, yeah,
we got you a surprise, Ma.
138
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,560
Really? What is it?
139
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,880
You'll see. Come on, Buster.
140
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,840
Goodbye now, Father.
141
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,480
Right.
142
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,400
Before I leave, Mrs Brown,
I'm delighted to tell you
143
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,760
that the church council
of volunteers
144
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,760
have decided to appoint
a home help to you
145
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,040
until you're mobile again.
146
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,720
Oh, thank you, Father,
cos I can't do very much.
147
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,560
I understand.
148
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,160
Take your time recovering.
149
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,520
Oh, and we've a special section
at Mass for mobility scooters.
150
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,520
Oh, that's nice.
151
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,240
Ohh!
152
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,960
Oh, a cup of tea.
153
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,560
Hi, Agnes!
154
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,040
Oh...
155
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,040
Is that you, Winnie?
156
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,120
Agnes, what are you doing, love?
157
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,040
Winnie, I've been here
for half an hour.
158
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,400
Oh, Jesus.
159
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,960
I tried to get over
to the teapot,
160
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,240
but I can't get back.
161
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,880
Nonsense, Agnes,
come on, let me help you.
162
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,160
Thanks, Winnie.
163
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,120
You're supposed to be
taking it easy.
164
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,800
I don't want to be a burden
to anyone.
165
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,800
It's all my fault.
Oh, now, now.
166
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,200
Yeah, yeah, you...
167
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,960
Look, I'll see you later, love.
See you, Winnie.
168
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,600
Winnie, would you put me bin out
on your way out?
169
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,560
Oh, Agnes, that's very heavy.
170
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,760
Yeah, I wouldn't ask you,
except it's...
171
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,040
..your fault.
172
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,600
CACKLES
173
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,640
What's this?
174
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,880
The President's Kama Sutra...?
175
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,600
Hey...
176
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,880
GASPS
177
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,040
Hello.
178
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,680
Listen to this.
179
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,200
"Feeling the warmth
of his breath on my neck
180
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,040
"caused me to melt.
181
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:26,480
"His hand moved gently over...
my quivering stomach.
182
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,040
"While his fingers
playfully tugged at my...
183
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,200
"..ear lobe"?
184
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,640
Feck's sake.
185
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,080
"He looked me in the eyes...
186
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,680
"..and whispered..."
187
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:45,920
Agnes?
188
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,000
Yes, Mr President?
189
00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,400
Agnes! What the feck do you want?!
190
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,440
My hairbrush got tangled.
191
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,120
Can't you see I'm busy
over here getting fondled?
192
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,280
Mammy,
did you take my book again?
193
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,080
N-No.
194
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,800
Stay where you are,
party's over.
195
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,760
I can't find it anywhere!
196
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,640
Well, I'll have a look for it.
197
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,080
GRUNTS
198
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,040
Luc hasn't got it, no,
199
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,560
Ewen hasn't got it.
200
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,120
Wait a minute...
201
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,640
Ewen!
202
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,800
You baldy...
203
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,840
No, none of the cameramen have it.
204
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,760
Though I think,
from listening to me,
205
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,600
they do have an erection.
206
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,560
CRASH!
207
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:45,280
Oh, Cathy, here it is
in the...in the kitchen.
208
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,040
Thanks, Mammy!
209
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,880
No problem.
210
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,720
I'll never get to finish
this buckin' book.
211
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,920
Hiya, Agnes.
212
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,320
Hello, girls! Hi, Agnes.
213
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,760
Where youse off to?
214
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,760
Down the village,
215
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:01,840
to get you a "sorry" card.
216
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,640
Winnie, enough is enough.
217
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,360
I forgive you.
218
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,240
Well, how else can I tell you
how sorry I am?
219
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,400
Try cash.
220
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,440
CHUCKLING
221
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,280
Anyway, Birdie wants to go
and have a coffee.
222
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,040
Here, I'll get you a coffee here,
I'll make...
223
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,160
Oh, no, no, Agnes.
224
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,560
Wash & Blow got a fancy new
coffee machine installed
225
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,160
and they're complimentary.
226
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,200
You can't just walk in off
the street and get a coffee.
227
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,760
Want a bet?
228
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,160
She's been going there
all week, Agnes.
229
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,680
Here, what's this?
230
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:38,080
Oh, Winnie, it's a book
about a KGB agent, right,
231
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,400
who's trying to seduce
the President's wife.
232
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,280
Oh...! Now, as it turns out,
233
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,120
the President's wife is
a bit of a bike anyway.
234
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,320
I'll stop you there, Agnes,
that does nothing for me, love.
235
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,400
Well, it does for me, I tell ya.
236
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,280
That book is a real knee-knocker.
237
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,520
If I could feel me knees
after me spinal injury.
238
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,720
Jesus, Mammy, Grandad's badly in
need of a haircut.
239
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,800
I know, he's like
Gandalf the Grey in there.
240
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,720
You dirty bitch!
241
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,680
Are you all right there?
242
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,080
Oh, yeah, yeah.
243
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,320
Can I borrow this?
244
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,480
No, I'm only halfway through
the feckin' thing.
245
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,720
And I'm not even finished it.
246
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,400
That's my novel
for our book club, Mammy.
247
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,160
DREAMLIKE MUSICAL FLOURISH
248
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,920
Barbara!
249
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,400
How are you, Mrs Brown?
Hello, Barbara.
250
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,720
I don't have you booked in
for today.
251
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,400
No, no, it's not me,
it's Grandad needs a trim.
252
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,640
No, Mrs Brown.
253
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,680
He wrecked the salon last year
trying to escape.
254
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,480
I promise you, he'll be on his best
behaviour this year. Won't you?
255
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,440
Yeah, yeah.
256
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,040
I promise, when we leave here,
the place is gonna be spotless.
257
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,160
OK.
258
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,800
Come on, then, Grandad.
259
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,120
Thank you, Barbara.
260
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,840
Help yourselves to coffee, ladies.
261
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,160
I'm first!
262
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,080
Agnes, darling!
263
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,160
Oh, shite.
264
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,280
Hello, Hidily.
Hello, Maria, love.
265
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,560
Hello, Mrs Brown. Great news.
266
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,400
The church volunteers have
approved you for a home help
267
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,920
two days a week.
Is that Wednesday and Friday?
268
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,840
Well, actually Monday
and Thursday suit me best.
269
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,880
Ohh...!
270
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,840
Suits YOU? Mm.
271
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,440
Yes. I'm it, I'm your home aid.
272
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,840
Aren't you lucky?
273
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,120
You're so good
for volunteering, Mother.
274
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,760
Isn't she, Mrs Brown?
275
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,280
Yes, I was just thinking that...
276
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,640
That's nice.
277
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,600
Excuse me, Mrs Brown.
Mother, I won't be long, I just
278
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,640
want to have a word with Barbara
before we go to the shops.
279
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,640
Oh, you take as long as you like,
Maria,
280
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:49,880
I'll just be sitting here
281
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,120
catching up with my favourite
home-help client
282
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,160
and a beautiful lady.
283
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:57,520
That's a lovely thing to say,
Hilliary, thank you very much.
284
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,160
I was talking
about the President's wife.
285
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,280
I walked into that one, didn't I?
286
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,000
You really did.
287
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,000
Morning, all!
288
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,640
Hello, Father Damien.
What brings you in?
289
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,440
You know me, Mrs Brown,
just doing the Lord's work.
290
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,560
The usual, Father? Please, Birdie.
291
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,000
Mocha frappuccino.
292
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:19,200
Ooh! Could I get one of those?
But with an extra shot.
293
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,600
From a rifle.
294
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,720
Hidily, it's not Starbucks.
295
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,360
I've got a mocha frappuccino here
296
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,880
for Demon.
297
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,200
Thank you, Birdie.
298
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,800
Well, what's this, Father?
299
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,720
Oh, I have to proofread
the parish newsletter
300
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,480
before it goes to print.
This will be the final edition.
301
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,640
What the devil
are you babbling about?
302
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,440
It's gotten too expensive
to produce.
303
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,360
But, to be honest,
my heart isn't in it -
304
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,880
I don't think anyone even reads
the newsletter any more.
305
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,960
I do. I look forward to it
every week.
306
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,160
CLATTERING
307
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,720
Grandad!
308
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,200
Grandad!
309
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,720
Mrs Brown, Grandad escaped - again.
310
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,000
I saw. I'm on me way, hang on.
311
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,760
Sorry, excuse me,
312
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,640
sorry, sorry.
REVERSING ALARM
313
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,000
Oh, for fuck's sake.
314
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,160
Oh, shite!
315
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,400
Oh, sorry, Winnie,
sorry, sorry.
316
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,960
I don't know what's wrong
with this feckin' thing.
317
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,400
APPLAUSE
318
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:24,840
Barbara!
319
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,120
I found this outside.
320
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,000
Waste not, want not, love.
321
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,120
REVERSING ALARM
322
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,800
I've been thinking
about that newsletter all day.
323
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,120
Me too. Me too.
324
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,240
Nope.
325
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,720
Father Damien, sit down.
326
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,440
Father, you really have to keep
the newsletter going.
327
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,920
I'm afraid I can't.
328
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,960
But how are we going to know
what's happening in the parish?
329
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,560
You could come to Mass.
330
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,080
CACKLES
331
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,880
Father, this is no time
for jokes. Seriously!
332
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,640
Agnes is right.
333
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,840
Parochial communication is
essential for the betterment
334
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,640
and elaboration
of a community's consciousness.
335
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,840
As a member of the community,
I need to be kept in the loop.
336
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,400
That's what I said.
337
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,320
Yeah, but I said it
in buckin' English.
338
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,760
Father, you must do everything
in your power
339
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,240
to keep that newsletter going.
340
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,720
I want to, but I just can't see
341
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,560
how to make it
financially viable.
342
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,360
You could sell advertisements
to local business,
343
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,320
that'd help pay for the printing.
344
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,920
Oh, excellent, Agnes.
345
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,680
And to improve readership,
346
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,720
you should ask somebody local
to write
347
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,640
some interesting articles
that would keep people interested.
348
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,320
That's a great idea.
349
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,240
Yes. Er, somebody
the community looks up to.
350
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,600
Exactly. It would need to be someone
of importance,
351
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,640
someone who has
interesting things to say...
352
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,160
All right, I'll do it.
353
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,120
Thank you, Mrs Brown.
354
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,760
Oh, now, hold on a moment, Father!
355
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,440
I'll start approaching
local businesses.
356
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,720
No, no, no, no, Father,
hold on a second!
357
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,760
Seriously?!
358
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,280
Gobshite.
359
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,800
"I gazed
in astonishment.
360
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,160
"It was so much larger
than my husband's.
361
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,520
"Reaching out
with a trembling hand,
362
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,480
"I grasped hold
of his massive...
363
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,480
"..nose"?!
364
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,320
I know, Father,
365
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,040
I was expecting cock as well.
LAUGHTER
366
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,960
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
367
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,800
How is she, Dr Flynn?
368
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,160
CRACK!
369
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,440
Er, progressing nicely.
Nothing to worry about.
370
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:46,600
Oh, Cathy,
371
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,920
I've got a lovely bottle of red
for tonight.
372
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,040
Really? I can't wait.
373
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,240
Why? What's tonight? Book club.
374
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,920
It's my turn to host.
375
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,280
Oh, spare me now.
376
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,240
Cup of tea, Father? No, thank you,
Mrs Brown.
377
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,640
DOOR CLOSES
I just called in
378
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,200
to collect your article
for the parish newsletter.
379
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,920
I haven't even started it, Father.
380
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,240
We need something, Mrs Brown,
and soon.
381
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,800
The printers are waiting,
382
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,440
and I've already lined up
four advertisers.
383
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,640
I can't think of anything to write.
384
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,880
How about a diary
385
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,280
on your day-to-day life
living in Finglas?
386
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,480
No, we more or less have that
covered
387
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:19,800
in the TV series.
388
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,160
Hey, Ma, what about writing
389
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,640
about the dangers
of mobility scooters?
390
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,360
Shut up!
391
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,960
I know what I'll write.
392
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,160
I'll write about the tradesmen
in Finglas
393
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,040
who can't shut the buck up.
394
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,240
Ha-ha.
395
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,600
Well, you've carte blanche,
Mrs Brown.
396
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,080
I beg your pardon?
397
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,920
I mean you can write
whatever you like.
398
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,600
I'm sure you'll come up
with something - you always do.
399
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,880
Thanks very much, Father.
400
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,240
You've been no buckin' help.
401
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,040
All right, Agnes,
402
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,720
I've made the bed,
I've vacuumed the hall,
403
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,720
the stairs, the landing,
I've washed out the bath
404
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,560
and I've unblocked
the downstairs loo.
405
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,560
So, I think that's everything.
406
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,920
That's it. Yes.
407
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,440
Except for, um,
408
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,000
the washing.
409
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,920
OK. Where is it?
410
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,800
It's in the utility room
in the back.
411
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:13,960
Right.
412
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,440
Oh, for goodness' sake!
413
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,320
Oh... Oh...!
CACKLES
414
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,360
Now, Hidily, don't go mad
with the ironing,
415
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,760
just don't iron the tea towels.
416
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,080
How many tea towels are there?
417
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,320
Two.
418
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,400
Goodbye, Hilliary. Thank you very
much, you're very kind.
419
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,920
Mr President, I'm back!
420
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,480
You don't mind me hosting
book club here, Mammy, do you?
421
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,720
I couldn't give a shite,
422
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,840
but I'll take that book off you
when you finish it.
423
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,840
You can have it now.
I finished it earlier.
424
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,080
Oh, lovely,
that's my evening sorted.
425
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,800
You're really enjoying it,
aren't ya?
426
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,640
Oh, er, I love the way
the author builds the suspense
427
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,280
but without rushing, you know,
428
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,440
and the evocative prose he uses
429
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,360
and the thought-provoking themes.
430
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,000
Wow, Mammy.
431
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,680
And there's loads of hooring
in it, I love that.
432
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,440
You'd love book club, you know.
433
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,960
Cathy,
I don't need to read a book
434
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,800
or join the club
to make friends.
435
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,600
Well, there's always
plenty of scandal.
436
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,160
Really? Yeah, Mammy,
437
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,760
and you do love
a bit of scandal.
438
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,840
Well...
439
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,600
Yeah, I do, Yes, I do.
440
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,080
Oh, Mammy!
441
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:40,960
We've got a surprise for you.
442
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,520
Ta-da!
443
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,720
Where's me chair?
444
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,280
This is your new chair, Mrs Brown.
445
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:54,080
I don't want a new chair,
Buster Brady.
446
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,080
Well, Ma, you will like this one.
447
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,720
I got it second hand
but it's working fine.
448
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,040
I hate it.
449
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,720
WHIRRING
450
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,640
I love it.
451
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,600
There you go. Thanks, pet.
452
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,560
Sugar, Agnes?
453
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,480
REVERSING ALARM
454
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,400
Writer's block, they call it.
455
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,600
Mm.
456
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,560
REVERSING ALARM
457
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,840
Lovely.
458
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,680
No biscuits, Agnes? No?
459
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,400
REVERSING ALARM
460
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,000
And then Cathy told me
about the book club.
461
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,840
Mm-hm?
CHUCKLES
462
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,720
REVERSING ALARM
463
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,560
That's when it struck me.
464
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,960
I'm going to write
a gossip column.
465
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,880
Do you know? I'd read that, Agnes.
466
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,400
Everybody would.
Isn't Cathy very good,
467
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,360
letting you into her book club
to get all the goss?
468
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,080
No, no, I'm not telling Cathy.
469
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,520
No, I'm going to go undercover.
470
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,320
Like Boris Dildenski.
471
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,600
Who's he?
472
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,200
He's the spy in the book.
473
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,080
Oh...
He walks in the shadows,
474
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,480
and he travels the world silently.
475
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,520
Oh... And he uses a wire
to gather information.
476
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,920
What's a wire?
477
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,160
In the spy business, we call it
478
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,400
a bug.
479
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,600
And where would you get
one of those, Agnes?
480
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,760
I don't know. Mm...
481
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:40,600
But I think I know somebody
who might.
482
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,320
Buster Brady.
483
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,200
Buster?
484
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,720
Hello.
485
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,520
Call me Karlos with a K.
486
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:58,680
Why a K?
487
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,640
Cos I'm a special agent, get it?
488
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,960
No.
489
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,640
Special K.
490
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,600
I need a listening device
to secretly record people.
491
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,240
I have just the thing.
492
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,360
A 4K digital microphone,
made in Mexico,
493
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:18,200
the hub of the tech industry.
494
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,040
Is it discreet? Nobody'll suspect
a thing, Mrs Brown.
495
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,280
Don't call me Mrs Brown.
496
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,360
Call me...Marietta.
497
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,800
Nobody'll suspect a thing, Marietta.
498
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,120
It's hidden in the rim of a hat.
499
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,680
CLATTERING
500
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:51,840
Hello.
501
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,440
Is this it?
502
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,840
No, it's rubbish,
just put it in the other bin.
503
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,200
PANTS
504
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:04,880
And, silently,
she vanished into the night.
505
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,440
CACKLES QUIETLY
506
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,920
REVERSING ALARM
507
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,800
LOUD CRASH
508
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,840
DOG BARKS
509
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:19,280
QUIET CHATTER
510
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,160
You all right, Mammy?
511
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,720
Si, senorita!
512
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,880
Are we going to talk about the hat?
513
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,520
What hat?
514
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,200
Oh!
515
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,000
I saw this in Vogue,
516
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,440
they're going to be
all the rage this season.
517
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,600
Testes, one, two,
518
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,600
testing, uno, dos,
uno, dos, tres.
519
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,040
Right, are we starting or what?
520
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,360
Yes.
521
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,520
So, what's everyone's opinion
of the book this week?
522
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,240
Well, I thought it was...
523
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,480
Terrible. A tedious read
that failed to capture my interest
524
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,040
or deliver any meaningful substance.
525
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,120
Yeah, it was muck,
but in a good way.
526
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,240
Were we all reading the same book?
527
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,120
I thought it was fabulous.
528
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:09,040
Yeah, but Mrs Brown, did you buy
into the relationship
529
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,560
between the two protagonists?
530
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,880
Yes! You know, he was handsome,
531
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,000
she was horny. Works for me.
532
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:21,040
Seriously, Mammy, at one stage
they made love in a coal shed.
533
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,320
Who does that?
534
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,480
Yes.
535
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,760
Me and your father, Cathy.
536
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,320
Every Tuesday night
after the darts.
537
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,280
She's kidding.
538
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:35,720
I'm not kidding.
539
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,960
How do you think
your father got the black lung?
540
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:44,040
OK, let's get back to it.
The President's Kama Sutra.
541
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,840
Well, it was a piece of trash,
542
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,600
not worth the paper
it was written on, too dirty.
543
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,840
What's it called again?
544
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,240
Hilliary, I saw you reading it,
you were loving it.
545
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,120
Well, I gave it every chance.
546
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,840
Seriously, the book,
what's it called?
547
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,520
Father Damien, you loved it.
548
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,600
And what about you, Dr Flynn?
549
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,640
Oh, well, yes, I-I do take
Mrs Nicholson's point but...
550
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,120
Well, that's that, then.
551
00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:09,320
Review over.
552
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,200
We've only just started.
553
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,200
So, did you hear the rumour?
554
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,440
Scratch that.
555
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,240
What, what, what, what rumour?
556
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,600
Well, one of the local policemen is
557
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:21,800
moonlighting as a stripper.
558
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,080
AUDIENCE MEMBERS WOLF WHISTLE
559
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,640
- No!
- I wouldn't mind booking HIM!
560
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:28,680
Hold on, Sharon.
561
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,080
COUGHS
562
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,040
Testes, one, two.
563
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,800
- Say that again.
- I wouldn't mind booking HIM.
564
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,840
Yes, I've heard
you like a man in a uniform.
565
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,640
What's that supposed to mean?
566
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,640
Oh, for God's sake.
REVERSING ALARM
567
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,320
Nothing, it's just a rumour.
568
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,200
Can youse all not talk
at the same time?
569
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,440
I'm not on wheel...
570
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:54,880
No, well, I am on wheels.
571
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,800
I-I can't be
in two places at one time.
572
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,760
Now, look,
just for clarity, Maria,
573
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,400
you were talking about
Garda Fergusson, am I right?
574
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,840
Well... I heard a very salacious
story at my surgery the other day.
575
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:08,920
Hold it!
576
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,880
BEEPING
577
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:13,400
MOTOR SLOWS AND STOPS
578
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,760
Feck's sake.
579
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,880
LAUGHTER
580
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,440
APPLAUSE
581
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,400
Mrs Brown!
582
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,920
You're walking!
583
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,840
Oh, my God, I can walk!
584
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,440
I can walk!
585
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,160
It's a miracle!
586
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,360
It's a "miracaley"!
587
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,080
It's a miracle.
588
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,360
Amazing!
589
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:37,560
Oh, my God.
590
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,680
I don't have to clean!
591
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,800
I cured her! Again!
592
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,960
That's nice.
593
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,200
I can't believe
you let us believe you were...
594
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,600
Let you believe?!
595
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,720
I was in pain 24/7.
596
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,440
I don't know
how I didn't give up.
597
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,600
Aww!
598
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,080
Thank you.
599
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,720
LAUGHTER
600
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,760
Well, you're all right now.
601
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,480
So, we can get rid
of that scooter.
602
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,800
You can get rid of the scooter
but I'm keeping me chair.
603
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,560
WHIRRING
604
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,160
CRUNCH!
MECHANISM ROARS
605
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,800
Argh!
606
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:30,840
Ah!
607
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:33,640
Oh...
608
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,440
Who has the TV remote?
609
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,520
Ugh...
610
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,160
Put on the football, Dermot.
611
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,520
And what would the world be like
without the odd miracle, eh?
612
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,000
Believe it or not,
when I crashed into that table,
613
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,440
it fixed me back!
614
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,080
CACKLES
615
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,880
Oh, I didn't do the gossip column.
616
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,400
No, I did a review of this.
617
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,680
Huge readership. Huge!
618
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,800
You know, my mother used to say,
619
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,200
"People who listen to gossip
620
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,320
"will eventually hear bad
about themselves."
621
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,440
Mm.
622
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,720
Did I tell you
about Father Damien
623
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,120
and the dead sheep?
624
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,120
No, I shouldn't.
625
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,240
Goodnight.
626
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:27,040
to the queen of Dublin town
627
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:33,360
she wears the crown
628
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,520
all her chicks
629
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:46,360
let life get her down
630
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:50,520
Goodnight!
631
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,080
Agnes
632
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,280
MRS BROWN CACKLES
42622
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