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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,040 It's about a jumper. 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,680 I've seen the future. 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,240 And I think it might be your future. 4 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,040 This isn't a good time. 5 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,320 ABBY: There's someone inside of there? 6 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,480 Yeah. His name's Mark. 7 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,600 Fuck the tortoise, Alex. 8 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,320 It's a no. 9 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:20,680 If you want to be with me, then we have to tell Finn. 10 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,800 I don't know, isn't there like a middle ground where we just... 11 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:24,920 Where we don't tell him? 12 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,000 [SONG PLAYING] 13 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,880 It's a support group for terminally ill young people. 14 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,640 I'm one of their care assistants. 15 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,000 Hang on, terminally ill? 16 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,840 So they're dying? 17 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,320 No, no, no, no, no, no, as in, the other kind of terminally ill, 18 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,760 where people live happily ever after. 19 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,200 Twat. 20 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,480 We just try to make their last few months... 21 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,560 -Makes you think, doesn't it? -Oh, man. 22 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:16,520 -JESS: About what? -[SIGHING] 23 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,520 Lunch. Mmm. 24 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,920 I don't know what to have. I want pizza or kebab. 25 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,200 We just thought that you might like to spend some time with them and... 26 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,560 ALEX: Um, right, okay, here we go... 27 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,800 You're gonna die, 28 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,520 and it's your last supper. 29 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:31,960 -What would you choose? -Ooh. 30 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,920 FINN: Easy. RUDY: Go on. 31 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,360 FINN: All you can eat buffet. 32 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,040 RUDY: Nice, that's very nice. ALEX: Oh! 33 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,600 FINN: Italian, Chinese, Mexican, Indian... RUDY: Mmm. 34 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,160 Jamaican... Big fuck-off plate. 35 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,440 Just, up yours, Grimby. I'd go up for seconds. 36 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,960 -RUDY: Mmm. -Do you know what? Are you doing them a buffet? 37 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,440 Yeah, do them a... 38 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:53,600 Where'd she go? 39 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,120 I don't know, but that is really rude. 40 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,520 We should probably go in before they start dying. 41 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,080 -ALEX: Ugh. -No. 42 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,520 What's going on here, aye? 43 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,080 Obviously not a lot... 44 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,080 [THEME SONG PLAYING] 45 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,440 # The city breathing The people churning 46 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,520 # The conversating The price is what? 47 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,840 # The conversating This place is heaven 48 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,120 # And if you see them They're saying what? # 49 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,560 Checkmate. 50 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,080 You twat! 51 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,240 [CHUCKLES] You've gotta laugh. 52 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,360 Haven't ya? Laugh in the face of death. 53 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,120 'Cause death's a prick. 54 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,160 [BLOWING] Prick. 55 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,520 -Another match? -Mmm-hmm. 56 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,480 -Skin cancer. -Oh! 57 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,480 [CLEARS THROAT] Oh. Oh. 58 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:34,040 -You wanna know what's killing me but you don't want to ask. -Mmm-hmm. 59 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,560 How long have you known about it? 60 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,240 Um, around 18 months. 61 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,880 The doctors kept telling me they can operate, 62 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,880 they can treat it. 63 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,080 And then, one day they turn around and they're like, 64 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,120 "Well, actually, Lucas, you're fucking gonna die." 65 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,960 All these fucking doctors, man, they're just full of shit. 66 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,840 Jesus Christ, man, honest to God, it just... Fucking hell. 67 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,400 It sucks cock, it really does, man, I'm so sorry for you. I... 68 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,080 It's like I can feel the life being drained out of me. 69 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,680 And I've got this counsellor who's telling me that I should just accept it. 70 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,560 -Mmm. -Fuck them. 71 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,560 I... I don't deserve this. 72 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:14,160 I should be out with mates, getting drunk and fucking girls, and... 73 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,480 Pshh. I feel your pain, man. Oh, Jesus Christ. 74 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,480 Yeah! [LAUGHING] 75 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,840 There, decafecate! 76 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,200 I... That's... Not a word. 77 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,040 Fuckin' is a word! 78 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,440 Decafecate, to evacuate one's bowels after a triple espresso. 79 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:33,080 I decafecated just this morning in Starbucks. All over. 80 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,360 Yeah? Well, I'm looking it up. 81 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,920 Well, do look it up, man, it's on YouTube. 82 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,640 Video's got 30,000 hits and counting. 83 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:40,800 Can I get some? 84 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,560 Yup. 85 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:51,720 Mmm-hmm... 86 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,400 -[CHAIR SCRAPING] -Where you going? 87 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,240 To church. 88 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,240 -Now? -Yes. 89 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,120 Yes, now, because... I'll tell you why, Finley, 90 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,560 because the Lord... 91 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,000 [STAMPING FOOT] 92 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,880 He giveth, doesn't he? 93 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,720 And then he taketh away. 94 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,240 Taketh away what he's giveth, and I'm off to fucking church 95 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,960 to geteth it back. 96 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,080 [SNAPPING FINGERS] 97 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,920 # Ooh, somebody 98 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:17,800 # Somebody # [CLEARING THROAT] 99 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,760 Oh, shit. 100 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,600 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 101 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,520 Oh, shit. 102 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,960 -What? -Uh... Nothing, nothing. 103 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,280 -What's going on? -Just... I'm teasing you. Driving you sexually wild. 104 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:51,840 Eh? I don't know. There's my penis... 105 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,640 Gone! Sorry, denied. 106 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,520 I'm not really sure it's doing it for me, so... 107 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,360 You were just consumed with lust. 108 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,560 -Aren't you beautiful? Jesus fucking Christ. -[DOOR SLAMMING] 109 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,760 You bastard. 110 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:08,560 All righty now, what are you playing at, eh? 111 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,960 Dude, I'm talking to you. You're fucking hanging there, as soft as an overripe peach. 112 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,880 God, just... I have no idea what this is all about, dude, 113 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,920 but you've got to sort yourself out, 114 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,440 or me and you are gonna have a fucking really serious falling out. 115 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,200 Christ's sake, look at you! 116 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:25,560 Dick. 117 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,120 Hi, mate, you all right? 118 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,400 All right? 119 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,040 That's medicinal. 120 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:48,760 Special Brew? 121 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,040 Thought you had lung cancer. 122 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,920 Ah... All right, look. 123 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,120 You can't tell anyone, I've got a good thing going here, yeah? 124 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,160 I'm not really dying. 125 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000 I'm faking it. 126 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,080 Why would you do that? 127 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,600 Well, for the pussy. 128 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:14,760 Seriously? 129 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,320 Yeah. 130 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,800 Shave your hair off, lay on some big sob story about how scared you are, 131 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,880 just want to live, 132 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,920 and their knickers are hitting the floor faster than you can say 133 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,560 "six rounds of chemotherapy". 134 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:27,520 [SNORTING] 135 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:29,920 -[SNORTING] -I'm telling you, mate, 136 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,840 it's like the mother of all charity fucks. 137 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,080 Tell me everything. 138 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,040 Here he is, this guy with his new jeans, 139 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,640 and they fit in all the right places. 140 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,760 And they are, cheers, man. I thought I'd treat myself. 141 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,800 My nana gave us 200 quid. 142 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,080 -Really? -ALEX: Mmm-hmm. 143 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,520 -Good old nanny! -Yeah. 144 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,760 200 quid. 145 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,880 Can you lend me 20 quid? It's just, I'm absolutely skint. 146 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,520 No, I'd love to, but I can't. 147 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:08,560 You've just said your nan give you 200 quid. 148 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,160 Sorry, mate. 149 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,040 What I meant was, I'd love to help you, 150 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:14,880 but I won't. 151 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,720 Thanks. Thanks, mate. 152 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,000 -Not a problem. -No? 153 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,280 -Na. -[GRUNTING] You prick. 154 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,720 -Ab. -Yeah? 155 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,040 Fancy buying me a drink? 156 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,840 Oh, no, I can't. 157 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,080 Me and Mark are going to the cinema, aren't we, mate? 158 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,880 He's a big Tom Hanks fan, this one. 159 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,720 [TAPPING] See ya. 160 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,240 Okay, yeah. 161 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,240 -[LOCKER SLAMMING] -[THUNDER CRACKING] 162 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,120 [SPLASHING] 163 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,000 Shit. 164 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,000 You all right, there? 165 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,720 I dropped my keys in the lake. 166 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,640 I know you, don't I? 167 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,800 I come in the bar sometimes, we live in the same block. 168 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,000 You've come onto me twice. 169 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,560 -Have we... -No. 170 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,160 -I knocked you back both times. -Really? Wow. 171 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:12,440 Look, you couldn't do me a huge favour and go in there and get my keys for me? 172 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:13,400 [SCOFFS] 173 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,440 You go in there and get them. 174 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,440 I'm terrified of water. I know, it's ridiculous, I've got a phobia. 175 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,160 You know what, I'd love to help you, but... 176 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,720 New jeans. 177 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,240 Please! I can't go in there, I can't swim. 178 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,720 You'll be fine, it's like, two feet deep. 179 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,600 -Well, thanks for nothing! -It's not my problem. 180 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,200 [TOILET FLUSHING] 181 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,760 [MAN GRUNTING] 182 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:45,960 [TOILET SEAT SLAMMING] 183 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,920 [WHISTLING] 184 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,600 You okay? 185 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,440 It's not fucking fair. 186 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,560 What? 187 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,000 Oh, right, yeah. 188 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,000 Man, it's so... So unfair. 189 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,800 What can you do? 190 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,120 What if you didn't have to accept it? 191 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,480 Didn't have to die. 192 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,240 [TAP SQUEAKING] 193 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,040 What if there was something you could do? 194 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,440 Well, you'd have to do it. Whatever it took. 195 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,600 You owe it to yourself. 196 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,080 Anyway. 197 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,800 -Wait. -Whoa. 198 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,200 Will you hold me? 199 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,280 [CHUCKLING] 200 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,240 Me? 201 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,920 Really? 202 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,200 Uh, yeah, sure, I can do that. 203 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,040 [WHISPERING] You feel so alive. 204 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,840 [GASPING] 205 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,240 [CRACKLING] 206 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,800 [EXHALING] 207 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,680 You look like you're feeling better. 208 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,960 Sorry, what was that? 209 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:10,800 You look better. 210 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,600 Oh, yeah... It comes and goes. 211 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:28,000 I try and stay strong. 212 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,320 -Yeah. -I do, but it's hard. 213 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,000 [SIGHING] It's just hard when you know you haven't got much time. 214 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,840 Yeah... God, I mean, 215 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,160 I hope you don't mind me asking, but, what is it you're dying of? 216 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,760 AIDS. 217 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,400 No! No, not... [CLEARING THROAT] 218 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,560 Not "AIDS" AIDS, it's like, H-I... 219 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,440 Cancer. 220 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,440 Nothing that you'd catch by having sex with me. 221 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:03,920 Just wanted to let you know. 222 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,720 [CLINKING] Found my keys. 223 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:07,880 Oh, right, nice one. 224 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:09,880 I was in there... 225 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:11,560 Fell over. 226 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,800 I nearly drowned. 227 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,160 Do you know what it's like, choking on foul, shitty water? 228 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,960 And this is all my fault how, exactly? 229 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,760 You should have helped me! 230 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,960 New jeans! 231 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,480 All right, don't make me out to be the bad guy, I didn't do anything. 232 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,080 That's right, you didn't do anything. 233 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,560 Well, there's no law that says you have to help people. 234 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,160 What? 235 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,200 I put a gypsy curse on you. 236 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,680 [SNORTING] 237 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,440 Right, yeah. Course you did. 238 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:53,040 Look, the very least that you can do is help me out and drive me home. 239 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,080 I'm working, so... 240 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000 [CLEARING THROAT] 241 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,280 [COUGHING] 242 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,840 [COUGHING] 243 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:06,720 [GASPING] 244 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,120 [RETCHING] 245 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,160 Every time you refuse to help someone, 246 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,960 any time you don't do the right thing, 247 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,040 you're gonna feel like you're drowning. 248 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,800 Don't do... [CHOKING] 249 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,840 -There's no law that says you have to help people. -[SPLATTERING] 250 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,120 [SPITTING] 251 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,560 [PANTING] 252 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:42,760 And the bitch has put a gypsy curse on me. 253 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:46,960 Makes me feel like I'm drowning, it's fucking horrible. 254 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,840 -So you're compelled to help people? -Yeah. 255 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,640 Couldn't lend us 20 quid, could you, mate? 256 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:52,760 You know, just... 257 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,360 Help me out? 258 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,440 You little bastard. 259 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,480 FINN: Mmm. 260 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,000 [RETCHING] 261 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,360 That's really mean. 262 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,080 FINN: You call it mean, I... 263 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,440 I call it karma. 264 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,840 -[SPITTING] -ABBY: Ugh... 265 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,720 The fuck? Fuck you... 266 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,440 -Let's make it 30, shall we? -[SPLATTERING] 267 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,760 Come on. 268 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,800 Mmm... For fuck's sake. 269 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,520 -Son of a bitch. -What's going on? 270 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,080 [SLAPPING AND RUBBING] One sec, I'll be with ya, 271 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,520 two shakes of a bee's knees. You bastard. Come on. 272 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:39,600 Rudy. 273 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,320 [SIGHING] Oh, for fuck's sake... 274 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,280 I don't know what's going on with him. 275 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,400 -Is it me? -No! It's not you. 276 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,240 It isn't you, it's fucking him. 277 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,600 And I... I warned you! 278 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,880 I said this would happen, and now this is happening. 279 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,120 [SLAPPING] Ahh! 280 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,200 Fucking hell, dude! 281 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,520 Honestly, I was about to be on the happy end 282 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,720 of a very nice charity fuck. 283 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,160 Thank you, very much. 284 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,600 AIDS? 285 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,400 I tell you what, it's a proper passion killer. 286 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:27,360 Your move. 287 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,160 Checkmate! Yes! 288 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,000 Fuck you, you fucking loser. [LAUGHING] 289 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:48,000 It's a coping mechanism, it's humour... All part of the process. 290 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,680 [CHAIR SCRAPING] 291 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:55,760 You okay? 292 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,160 So weird... 293 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,560 It's like I don't have the will to live any more. 294 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:07,560 It's gone. 295 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,240 Yep. 296 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,120 [WHISPERING] Very nice. 297 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,480 Very convincing. 298 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,680 Has it happened before? 299 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,120 No. 300 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,400 -No? -Once, except once before. 301 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:33,760 I was shagging a doctor. 302 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,600 Well, by doctor I mean... 303 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,280 Receptionist at the vet's. 304 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,880 And so I bend her over the table in the treatment room, 305 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,720 and I've got fucking Peter starting at me with his sad dead eyes. 306 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,760 -So... -Who's Peter, is that the vet? 307 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,160 No, it's my bunny. 308 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,760 Peter the rabbit, I was having him put down. 309 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,200 -Oh, okay. -And honest to God, 310 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,560 I abso-fucking hell I loved that rabbit. 311 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,520 He had these massive, big floppy ears, 312 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,040 they felt like... Honestly, it was like furry velvet on your skin. 313 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,800 So you have him put down, and then you slip it up the receptionist? 314 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,120 No, no, no, no, I couldn't slip it up the receptionist, 315 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:06,240 because I was filled with this, sort of, I don't know, like a bloody... 316 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,640 Overwhelming sense of love for Peter the rabbit. 317 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,800 My dick was, honestly, as soft, floppy and as velvety as his friggin' ears. 318 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,240 It was a nightmare. 319 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,080 Mmm. 320 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:18,800 Honestly. 321 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,200 That's what... That's what it is. 322 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:28,200 Fuck me, that's what... It's because I love you. 323 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,600 -You love me? -Yeah, I love you, like I love Peter the rabbit, 324 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,720 and that's why my cock won't friggin' work. 325 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,200 I have a really sarcastic penis. 326 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,960 Do you mean you have an ironic penis? Is that what you mean? 327 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,560 What are you on about? The bend in it? 328 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,560 That's when Saunders slammed it into a door. 329 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,200 [CHUCKLING] 330 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:52,840 Mad bastard. 331 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,000 [LIGHT SQUEAKING] 332 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,000 [ELECTRICAL CRACKLING] 333 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,880 For fuck's sake. 334 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,080 [SLAMMING DOOR] 335 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,080 [CRACKLING] 336 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,320 -Hiya. -Ahh! 337 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,640 -[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] -[GRUNTING] 338 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,360 -[GASPING] -Jesus, what were you doing? 339 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,720 -[ELEVATOR BELL DINGING] -[STAMMERING] 340 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,560 There's been a lot of muggings, I thought you were attacking me. 341 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,520 It's all right, no harm done. 342 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,000 Wow. 343 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,080 What are you doing here? 344 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,480 I came to see you. 345 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,680 I like you. 346 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:46,880 -[ELEVATOR DOOR CLOSING] -Uh... I don't care if you don't like me. Well, I do. 347 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,000 Of course I do, but... 348 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,000 It's not gonna stop me liking... You're smiling! 349 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,160 -[LAUGHING] -[SNORTING] 350 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,160 I've never seen you smile before. 351 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:57,800 I smile. 352 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,040 Not very often. 353 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,400 Why is that? 354 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,720 Well... 355 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,440 Sometimes it feels like there's not very much to smile about. 356 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:11,640 Yeah. 357 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:15,360 I have... 358 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,480 Thought about you. 359 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:19,440 [LAUGHING] Have you? 360 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,480 Yeah. 361 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:25,760 What? 362 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,320 [CRYING] 363 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,040 In some small way, 364 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,680 we're all responsible. 365 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,360 I want each of us to take a moment to reflect 366 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:12,600 on how we failed to prevent the tragic death of that very 367 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,760 attractive young man. 368 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,320 Finley was playing chess with him. 369 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,000 Weren't you? 370 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,200 Yup. [CLEARING THROAT] 371 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:29,160 What was the last thing you said to him? 372 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,480 Something kind. 373 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,920 No, you said, 374 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,720 "Fuck you, you fucking loser." 375 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,000 -Oh... -ABBY: Yeah. 376 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,040 Yeah, I did. I said that because I was joking. 377 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,600 That beautiful young man's blood 378 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,440 is on your hands. 379 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,760 -[SCOFFS] -You need to ask God for forgiveness. 380 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,560 -Seriously? -[CHAIR CLATTERING] 381 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:04,160 -[CHAIR CLATTERING] -Ah! 382 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:09,360 Pray. 383 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,200 [SEETHING] 384 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:22,680 I just hope you can find a way to live with yourself. 385 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,160 [POUNDING] 386 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,520 [DOOR OPENING] 387 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:32,600 -ALEX: We need... -[DOOR CLOSING] 388 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:33,840 -Hey! -[BANGING ON DOOR] 389 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,960 Hey! You've gotta take this fucking curse off! 390 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,120 [BANGING] 391 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:46,640 All right. 392 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,840 I get it. I'm sorry, I should have helped you find your keys. 393 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,280 You've made your point. 394 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,080 Hell. 395 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:03,280 A guy killed himself in front of me today, 396 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,840 and I didn't help him because I didn't know what he was going to do. 397 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,200 And now I feel so shit about it. 398 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,560 I should have done something. 399 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,520 I get it, all right? 400 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,200 I get it. 401 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:19,080 [POUNDING] What do you want from me? 402 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,000 [EXHALES] 403 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,640 [CHUCKLING] Is this how you usually spend your afternoons? 404 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,080 I think you've confused me with a prostitute. 405 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,400 Oh, no, I wasn't... I wasn't calling you a slut because, you know, you just... 406 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,440 I usually spend my afternoons 407 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,760 changing fuses and rewiring houses, so... 408 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,680 -This has been a good day. -Yeah, it has been a good day. 409 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,120 -Listen, about the jumper and the superhero... -Oh, stop talking! 410 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,600 -It's very important! -Shut up! 411 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:06,120 [DRIPPING] 412 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:15,360 [DRIPPING] 413 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,960 Leukaemia? Oh, that's shit, mate. 414 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,040 How does... 415 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,640 How does that go down with the ladies? 416 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,200 You're sick. 417 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:37,680 [DOOR OPENING] 418 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000 [DOOR CLOSING] 419 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,600 Um, will you give me a tour of the community centre? 420 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:48,800 Why d'you need me? 421 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,760 Just fill your boots, man. 422 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,400 Oh, well, to be honest, I just wanted to hang out with you. 423 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,080 I mean, you seem like a really cool guy. 424 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,320 Yes, I am. 425 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,000 Yes! Come on, you. 426 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,520 This is where the magic happens, 427 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,640 if your idea of magic is people getting dressed. 428 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,640 Oh, that's my locker. 429 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:23,120 The vending machine, 430 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:25,920 nature's gift. 431 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,400 Corridor. 432 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,000 Useful for getting to the storeroom. 433 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:38,480 The storeroom. 434 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,760 Where... 435 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,720 We like to store things. 436 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,360 You all right? 437 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,800 -Will you hold me? -Fuck off. 438 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,160 Please, just... Hold me. 439 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,520 If this is some kind of gay trick, I don't care if you're dying, I will... 440 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,720 I'll take a very dim view of it. 441 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,960 Look, I'm not gay, okay? It's just... 442 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:10,200 Holding someone, it... 443 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,280 It makes me feel alive. 444 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:15,560 You know? 445 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,600 Okay, yeah. 446 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:20,840 I'm warning you... 447 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:22,680 [GRUNTING] 448 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:24,560 [PATTING] There you go. 449 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,200 All better? 450 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:31,920 [GASPING] 451 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,320 [EXHALING] 452 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,720 [KNOCKING] 453 00:26:58,520 --> 00:26:59,560 Alex? 454 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,840 -What? -Are you taking a shit? 455 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,800 No. 456 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:06,800 Are you having a wank? 457 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:08,960 No. 458 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,000 Okay. 459 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,680 So, I've been thinking... 460 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,280 You're gonna make me fuck your turtle, aren't you? 461 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:20,000 You bitch. 462 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,880 -I don't want to take advantage of your situation... -Yes, you do! 463 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,320 Yes, you do, because you know that I can't say no. 464 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,400 So you're gonna make me fuck your turtle. 465 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,520 Look, it's the only way that we can be together as man and woman, 466 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,160 rather than woman and turtle, which is... It's just too weird. 467 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,280 [LATCH OPENING] 468 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,480 If I fuck him to death, it isn't on me. 469 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,760 Maybe you could just... Come on his shell. 470 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:53,880 Doesn't work like that, 471 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:55,520 wish it did. 472 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,480 Just be tender and gentle. 473 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,240 Try not to hurt him. 474 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,200 I'm ramming my cock up a turtle's arse, 475 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:03,640 and you don't want me to hurt him? 476 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,760 Maybe you could just get him drunk first, or... 477 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,160 -Hey. -[DISTRACTEDLY] Huh? 478 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,600 -I love you, man. -Hmm? 479 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:02,200 Yeah, I appreciate it. 480 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:21,320 Ooh! 481 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,520 -It's a sex bag. -[CHUCKLING] You expect me to wear that? 482 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:28,920 What, seriously? 483 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:32,040 [SIGHING] 484 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:48,680 [SIGHING] 485 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:50,120 Go on. 486 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,200 [GRUNTING] 487 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,240 [GROANING] [COUGHING] 488 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,560 [WHEEZING] 489 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,440 Go and get help! Get Abby! 490 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:36,960 [GRUNTING] 491 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,080 Abby! 492 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,360 Let me die. 493 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,920 I'm not going to let you die, you little shit. 494 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:47,480 Please. 495 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:04,920 Did he say anything to you? 496 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,160 No, nothing, not a dicky bird. 497 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,560 Something must have really upset him. 498 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,000 Oh, shit! 499 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,200 I don't even want to say it. 500 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,080 -What? -Well, do you think he's found out 501 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:22,080 about me and you and all the shagging... 502 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,520 -[SHUSHING] -He already knows. 503 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,080 Oh, I know about his soft cock and everything. 504 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,840 -You and him? -Uh, no, 505 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,960 don't look at me like that, 'cause you're in love with a turtle, so... 506 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,240 Hmm, fair point. 507 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,080 Sorry 'bout the soft cock. 508 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,600 -Thanks, Ab. -Can we just get back to Finn, please? 509 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,840 Why do you think he might have found out about us? 510 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,600 So, I'm sitting there on the couch and drawing a smiley face on a bag. 511 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,400 Little man stands in the fucking doorway, fixes me with this look, 512 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:48,800 "I love you, man." 513 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,000 Right? Now, was he saying, "I love you, man, 514 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,240 "but you have stabbed me in my back, 515 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,440 "and you've gone and shat in my mouth." 516 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:57,840 It's like, "No, no, no, I'm sorry, 517 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,280 "me and my big floppy cock, we're really sorry!" 518 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,160 "Well, it's too late for fucking sorry, arsehole!" 519 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:07,720 -Stop it. -Sorry. 520 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,080 So, I made love to her. 521 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,720 You all right? 522 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,680 -Maggie? -No! Helen. 523 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,080 -Electro girl from the jumper. -Sweet. 524 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,560 Yeah. 525 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:24,920 Did she shock your balls? 526 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,960 Why would she shock my balls? 527 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,240 I don't know, maybe she's into kinky stuff. 528 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:30,680 What's the matter with you? 529 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,040 No, she's not kinky, she's lovely. Better sit down. 530 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,400 I've got something for you. 531 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,400 Yeah? 532 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:47,960 What, this? 533 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,720 This has already happened. 534 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,800 I started it last week, I meant to give it to you then. 535 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,240 It took me a while to finish it. 536 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:56,120 What, so now you knit the past? 537 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,800 Only when my arthritis is playing up. 538 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:03,480 You see, me and Helen, on this jumper, this is proof, isn't it? 539 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:08,040 This is proof that it comes true. You can't fight destiny, you can't! 540 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:12,120 -Electro girl, is she up for the whole superhero thing? -No. 541 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:15,120 No, not exactly but... 542 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:17,040 Oh, I've tried to persuade her, but she's not interested. 543 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,240 -Is it 'cause the sex was really bad? -No! 544 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,520 -No, the sex was brilliant. -[SCOFFS] Yeah, maybe for you. 545 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,600 It was! Listen, it's got nothing to do with my sexual performance, 546 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,480 I've just got to show her it's her destiny, that's all. 547 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,120 And, I mean, it's all coming together. 548 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,480 It's is! It's just... 549 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,560 There's just one more of you I need to find. 550 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,120 Yeah. 551 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:40,920 But three of us to convince it's a good idea. 552 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,160 How're you doing, mate? 553 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,480 It's weird. 554 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,120 It's like I haven't got the energy to keep living. 555 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,760 And I was wondering why you felt like that, to be honest with you. Was... 556 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,240 Something upset you? 557 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:07,560 -Like what? -I don't know, just, something very upsetting, like... 558 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:10,600 Like a friend 559 00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:12,840 maybe doing something 560 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,160 to another friend. 561 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,240 Was this you? 562 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:19,240 What were you doing? 563 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:23,360 I was clubbing a baby seal. 564 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:26,640 Why? 565 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,680 Because we got into a bit of a dispute over some fish. 566 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,920 Neither of us were gonna back down. 567 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,000 It all got a bit out of hand, to be honest with you, so I fucking just boshed him. 568 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,160 Bosh. 569 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,160 Mmm-hmm. 570 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,880 Someone should do that to me. 571 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,800 Don't say shit like that, man. 572 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,800 If they did, could I have your GCSEs? 573 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,360 Oi! Have you heard this shit? 574 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,080 You know it's not transferrable, your GCSEs, when you die? 575 00:34:56,240 --> 00:34:57,960 -Yeah. -The fuck is all that about? 576 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,440 You'd need a fucking GCSE in science just to understand all this shit! 577 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,280 What did Finn say, has he found out about us? 578 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,040 No, he thinks I've killed a baby seal. 579 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,320 ALEX: Well look, guys, all of this stuff, 580 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,560 it's gonna be something to do with the storm, isn't it? 581 00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:12,400 Who's this fucking guy, man? Clever and handsome, it's unbelievable. 582 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,320 Just before Finn turned suicidal, 583 00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,080 I saw him talking to one of them terminally ill people. 584 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:18,640 What if he did something to him? 585 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:19,840 RUDY: Well... 586 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,400 They chose the wrong day to do that. 587 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,000 Just made a big mistake. 588 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,080 They better be prepared to meet the raper. 589 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,480 -Do you mean the reaper? -No, I mean the raper, I'm talking about him. 590 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:34,680 Mate, I'm not a rapist. 591 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,560 -What'd you do to our friend? -And don't bother denying it, 'cause we know it was you. 592 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:48,600 [PANTING] 593 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,680 Uh, someone told me there was a really nice view from the roof. 594 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,960 Hmm, wouldn't say it's nice. 595 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,680 It's just the same shit from a different angle, really. 596 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,600 Oh, I'd... I'd like to see that. 597 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:22,280 RUDY: Get out of this one, you sneaky bastard. 598 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:23,920 -Hey, hurry up! -ALEX: I'm hurrying up, man. 599 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,080 JESS: Come on. 600 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,320 Erm... 601 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,640 This isn't as bad as it looks, and I'm aware it looks bad. 602 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:33,920 I think I know what happened to your friend. 603 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,640 Sorry, what? 604 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:37,800 I know what happened to your friend. 605 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:39,560 Yeah, love, and so do we. 606 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:42,240 It's time for this little guy to meet the friggin' raper. 607 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,160 -Can you stop calling me the raper? -It wasn't him, it was Lucas. 608 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,280 [SIGHING] 609 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:52,280 Cool. 610 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:54,520 I'm sorry, dude. 611 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:00,520 Mate, you okay? 612 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:03,400 Will you hold me? 613 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,200 Look, I'm not gonna shag you, because I'm in love with my turtle. 614 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:11,720 Oh, I... 615 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,720 But I feel really bad about you dying and everything, 616 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,080 so, I'll give you a hand job. 617 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:17,960 A... 618 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:20,840 Would... 619 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,360 Would you hold me afterwards? 620 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,680 Hmm. Yeah. 621 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,120 Wank and a cuddle, just what the doctor ordered, aye? 622 00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:29,160 Abby? Abby! 623 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:54,480 [GROANING] 624 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,000 Get the fuck away from him! 625 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:07,200 Why is his cock out? 626 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,840 Hand job. 627 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,480 Look, he sucked the life out of Finn. 628 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:17,160 That's why Finn wants to die and why that bloke threw himself off the roof. 629 00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:20,840 You did it to them, didn't you? 630 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,240 What was I meant to do? 631 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,160 I'm meant to just let myself die? 632 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,160 No. 633 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,080 No, you guys have no idea what it feels like. 634 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,600 I can feel myself dying. 635 00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:40,560 I can feel it. 636 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,240 And I'm scared. 637 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:46,360 So you're just gonna keep doing it then? 638 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,760 Letting other people die? 639 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,760 -You are killing them. -Just fuck off! 640 00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,920 Fuck you! 641 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:56,960 Okay, I never asked for this. Why me? 642 00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,320 Why has it got to be me? 643 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,560 ALEX: It's a crappy deal, mate. 644 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:05,440 But all this other shit is wrong, and you know it is. 645 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:06,440 And, hey, 646 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,600 he's an annoying little prick, 647 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:12,160 but you've gotta give my mate his life back. 648 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:14,920 No. 649 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,320 'Cause that's the right thing to do. 650 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,960 Oh, right, and me dying, that's all right? 651 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,920 Hey, I'm not saying it's fair, 652 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:22,880 it's shit, mate. 653 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,960 But you've gotta do the right thing. 654 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,040 Or, 655 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:30,440 I'm gonna have to do the right thing. 656 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,320 Yeah? And what's that, then? 657 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,360 I'm gonna have to wrestle you to the floor, 658 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,880 pin you down, and fuck you up the arse until I take your power. 659 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,040 Oh. [LAUGHING] 660 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,160 I'm sorry, that's meant... That's meant to be the right thing to do? 661 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:48,120 Yeah. In a totally fucked up way, 662 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,040 I think it is. 663 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:05,680 FINN: Hey. 664 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:07,600 Hi. 665 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:14,840 Will you hold me? 666 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:19,680 I'd really like that. 667 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,200 [GASPING] 668 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:06,560 [DOOR OPENING] 669 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:13,960 I should have helped you find your keys. 670 00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,080 No, you couldn't, because of your new jeans. 671 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:18,480 I know, sorry, I was a massive twat, 672 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:23,000 but I have been the Good fucking Samaritan with bells on. 673 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,320 Lesson learned. So, are you gonna... 674 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,000 Lift the curse, or what? 675 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,680 Two bottles of white wine and we'll call it quits. 676 00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,600 Well, go on then, lift the curse. 677 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,880 I took it off when you came 'round to my flat that time. 678 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,280 You seemed really upset about the guy killing himself. 679 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:54,080 I felt bad. 680 00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,320 Well, you could have told me. 681 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,080 -[CHUCKLING] -Thank you, very, very much. 682 00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,440 So, I'm thinking... 683 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,720 That the least that you can do, now, 684 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,040 is have a drink with me. 685 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:13,760 I'm gay. 686 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,000 -You're a lesbian gypsy? -Mmm-hmm. 687 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,080 -Rudy? -Mmm. 688 00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:37,000 Why are you wearing the sex bag? 689 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,880 I'm fed up. I've renamed it "The Bag of Eternal Shame", 690 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,120 and I will not take it off 691 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,120 until the friggin' end of time, 692 00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,400 or my cock gets hard, whatever happens first. 693 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:50,920 I'm over here, babe. 694 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:52,080 -Are you? -Yeah. 695 00:42:52,240 --> 00:42:53,800 Oh. 696 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,560 Listen, I've been having a think... 697 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,080 -I've been having a think. -Yep. 698 00:43:04,240 --> 00:43:07,080 About why you and me cock, why you're not getting on, 699 00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:09,160 and I just think you might... 700 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:14,160 I think you intimidate him. 701 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,280 And, just, it's me and my knob, we have a bit of a chequered past, I mean, 702 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:21,760 honest to God, you are like a bloody... 703 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:25,480 You're perfect. You... You're this innocent little... You're like an angel. 704 00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,520 -No, I'm not an angel. -You are! You're an angel to me. 705 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,160 You are. And you make my dick hang his head in shame. 706 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:33,480 Right. 707 00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:40,360 I love the smell of my own farts. 708 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:43,000 I thought that was just me. 709 00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:44,360 No. 710 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,240 I bite my nails, um... 711 00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,720 I eat the dead skin off my feet. 712 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,080 I use a hairbrush to scratch my fanny. 713 00:43:55,240 --> 00:43:59,680 -Hmm? -Last week I shoved a cock-shaped potato up myself, 714 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:03,120 it's usually a cucumber, but I'd used it to make a salad, so... 715 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,040 -There you go. -Fucking hell. 716 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:07,880 I'm not pure or perfect. 717 00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:09,160 So, that's me. 718 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,120 And I love you. 719 00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:17,080 [CHUCKLING] 720 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,920 Oh, you... 721 00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:22,840 Sarcastic bastard. 722 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,920 [CLATTERING] 723 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:40,960 [RUSTLING] 724 00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:45,120 I think you've been looking for me. 725 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,480 I have been... I have been looking for you! 726 00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:49,800 You're the final piece of me superhero jigsaw puzzle! 727 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,120 Look at that, aye? 728 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:56,400 I knew it! It's all coming together. I can't wait for you to meet the others. 729 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,240 You are superheroes, guys, you are! 730 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,800 The jumper posse? 731 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:10,960 Tomorrow's the one-year anniversary of the storm. 732 00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:13,160 We're having a party here at the community centre, 733 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:17,200 there'll be vodka, and drugs, and people fucking each other. 734 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,560 You know, ecstasy reverses your power? 735 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:22,680 That's not how it looked, Finn. 736 00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,000 You and me, we're finished! 737 00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:26,440 Women don't know what they do to us. 738 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:27,800 I had a girlfriend once, 739 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:29,320 Roxy. 740 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,640 You know, this really is the worst party ever. 52274

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