All language subtitles for Misfits (2009) S05E05 translate

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,633 --> 00:00:05,200 "Should I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely." 2 00:00:05,333 --> 00:00:06,267 You're laughing at that? 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,633 I am allowed to laugh. 4 00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:11,500 RUDY: It's him! It's Rudy Two! 5 00:00:11,633 --> 00:00:13,467 WOMAN: Stand back! 6 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,633 -Are you a doctor? -WOMAN: I'm an electrician. 7 00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,867 There's someone inside of there? 8 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,400 Yeah. It's someone with a power. 9 00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,433 All right then. 10 00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:29,967 Who's that on top of the building? 11 00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:32,333 Maybe it's you. 12 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,133 What if we all become superheroes? 13 00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:39,600 Ah! What are you doing? 14 00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:43,067 Nothing. Shit. Sorry, I thought it was his neck. 15 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:06,967 (DOORBELL RINGING) 16 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,467 WOMAN: Leah? 17 00:01:12,633 --> 00:01:15,267 I can hear you. I know you're in there. 18 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,133 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 19 00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:20,067 Leah? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 20 00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,400 I know something happened to you in the storm. 21 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,233 Something happened to me, too. 22 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:29,100 I've been going to this group. 23 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,767 It's for people like us. 24 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,200 Look, you don't have to go through it on your own. 25 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:43,200 Look, we could go together. 26 00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,067 I miss hanging out with you. 27 00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:50,267 Call me. 28 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,200 (SIGHS) 29 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,633 (MOBILE RINGING) 30 00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,167 Leah? 31 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,967 (ELECTRONIC BEEPING) 32 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:14,933 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 33 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,067 # The city breathing The people churning 34 00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:33,600 # The conversating The price is what? 35 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:51,767 # The conversating This place is heaven 36 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,267 # And if you see them They're saying what? # 37 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,067 RUDY: Man to a smaller man, 38 00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:58,100 you're never going to get over this childish infatuation with Jess, 39 00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:02,067 until you find a girl who looks up at you with her little puppy dog eyes 40 00:04:02,167 --> 00:04:03,467 and says the words, 41 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,733 "Your tiny little cock tastes like marmalade, Finley." 42 00:04:06,867 --> 00:04:08,700 Right, look at her. She looks like a fun girl. 43 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:12,367 Eh? Lady Marmalade? (LAUGHS) 44 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:16,600 Some people say tears are the best form of lubricant. 45 00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:17,800 No one says that. 46 00:04:17,933 --> 00:04:19,200 -Oh. She's upset. -Ow! 47 00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:22,233 Sorry! I'm... Lubricant! 48 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,467 It's the best form of lubricant. 49 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,067 Better than tears. 50 00:04:29,533 --> 00:04:32,400 Marmalade. 'Cause it's more lubricating... 51 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:33,967 Just fuck off! 52 00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:41,133 (SIGHS) 53 00:04:41,267 --> 00:04:42,467 (CLEARS THROAT) 54 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:44,467 Tea? 55 00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:47,900 I hope we start soon. 56 00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:49,300 I've got work to do. 57 00:04:49,433 --> 00:04:51,500 Bloody paperwork never stops, eh? 58 00:04:51,633 --> 00:04:53,933 I know. What do you do? 59 00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:56,100 -Probation worker. -(SPITS) 60 00:04:57,967 --> 00:05:00,467 Oh, my God. (STAMMERING) I'm so sorry! 61 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,433 I... Oh, my God. 62 00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:05,067 I was just going to clean the biscuits off. I kind of spotted you. 63 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,467 Oh. Okay. 64 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,400 I don't usually spit tea and biscuits in a girl's face. 65 00:05:11,533 --> 00:05:15,533 Unless she's asking for it. I'm not saying you were asking for it. 66 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,967 No. No means no. 67 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:21,167 And that's coming from a guy who gets told no a lot. 68 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,767 I mean, it's not like I'm out there forcing meself on girls. 69 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,833 I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. 70 00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:29,067 I'm really sorry. Just don't talk to me. 71 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,367 I'm a twat. 72 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,633 I'm Leah. 73 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,300 (CLEARS THROAT) Finn. 74 00:05:38,433 --> 00:05:40,600 (COUGHS) I'm Finn. 75 00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:04,900 Oh! 76 00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:06,267 Pick 'n' mix. 77 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,133 You've been holding out on me, Finley. 78 00:06:09,267 --> 00:06:10,967 -Little bastard. -(PAPER RUSTLING) 79 00:06:14,867 --> 00:06:16,500 RUDY TWO: I know what you're doing. 80 00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:18,733 (MUFFLED) 81 00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:23,133 This is about Jess, isn't it? 82 00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:26,800 (GARBLED) What are you talking about? 83 00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:29,900 I'm talking about you taking Finn to the support group. 84 00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:33,367 To hit on girls so you don't feel so guilty about your feelings for Jess. 85 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,633 (GARBLED) 86 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,067 Well, I refute that. 87 00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,833 Or at least I think I do. What does refute mean? 88 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,533 It means you don't accept something. 89 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:46,667 Yeah, well, I refute that. 90 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,800 What if I was to tell Finn why you're so keen on him getting a girlfriend? 91 00:06:48,933 --> 00:06:51,067 Don't. You can't. I really like Jess. 92 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,433 Just stay away from the support group, please. 93 00:06:54,567 --> 00:06:58,567 Fine, I will. I'll stay away from your ridiculous support group, pal. 94 00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,767 Oi, I'm still the boss of you, pal! 95 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,567 I refute that. 96 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,600 Oh, do you? 97 00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:08,467 Well, when I learn how to fly, I'm going to soar like a freakin' eagle. 98 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,533 And I'm going to take a massive shit on your head from a very great height. 99 00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:13,100 It isn't you on the jumper. 100 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,700 You don't know that. 101 00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:17,067 It's very difficult getting a good likeness in wool. 102 00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:21,100 Now, I will not let you screw up the future for all of us. 103 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:22,667 Oh, whatever. 104 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,300 Refuted! 105 00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:26,233 I refute you, sir! 106 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,600 Do you think I should go over and put a good word in for him? 107 00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:32,333 What are you going to say? 108 00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:35,400 I could tell her about his strangely weighted balls. 109 00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:37,833 They're like hairy apples. 110 00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:40,333 Are you Alex? 111 00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:41,933 Yeah. 112 00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:44,067 I was told you can help me. 113 00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:46,600 With my power. 114 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:47,900 What's the problem? 115 00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,833 I turn things inside out. 116 00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:52,267 -Hmm. -That doesn't seem that bad. 117 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,700 It's good for doing the laundry, and transgender surgery. 118 00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:56,800 (WHISTLES) 119 00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:59,500 I turned my cat inside out. 120 00:07:59,633 --> 00:08:03,300 Okay. Why don't we go somewhere a bit quieter? 121 00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:04,400 Okay. 122 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,767 So, what's your power? 123 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:10,867 What? 124 00:08:11,067 --> 00:08:12,600 Your power. 125 00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,900 -Why are you here at the support group? -Oh. 126 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,233 Uh, I have super hearing. 127 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,167 (QUIETLY) So cool. 128 00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:24,433 What? 129 00:08:24,567 --> 00:08:27,067 I said that, that's so cool. 130 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,500 I said it quietly because you can... 131 00:08:30,633 --> 00:08:32,967 Right. It's not always on. 132 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:34,833 -It gets too loud. -Okay. 133 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,400 So, what about you? What's your power? 134 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,767 (SNICKERS) 135 00:08:58,967 --> 00:09:02,133 I can move other stuff, too. Not just lager. 136 00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:03,867 -Shit! -Oh, sorry! 137 00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:06,300 I should go. 138 00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:08,100 Do you want me to walk you home? 139 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,733 Sorry. Sorry. 140 00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:15,200 Just let it air dry. 141 00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:18,267 Not it! The trousers. 142 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,767 Let them air dry. 143 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:22,467 Shall we? 144 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,400 (CHLOE MOANS) 145 00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:33,667 Hi. Do you like apples? 146 00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:35,700 (UNCERTAINLY) Yeah. 147 00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:39,600 Then you are going to love his balls. 148 00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:42,400 Well, I hope everything works out for you. Sorry about your cat. 149 00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:43,767 Oh, never mind. 150 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,233 ALEX: We were just... 151 00:09:49,367 --> 00:09:53,400 We can probably guess. Actually, we don't need any photos, videos. 152 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,867 Well, have a good night. 153 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,300 Having a great night anyway, already. 154 00:10:10,767 --> 00:10:13,267 Alex, from the bar. 155 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,933 Can't keep it in his pants for more than two seconds. 156 00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:18,633 It's a sickness. 157 00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:20,933 A disease. 158 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:35,967 Can I get your number? 159 00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,367 Sure, yeah. 160 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,467 I'll call you. 161 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,667 Okay. 162 00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,800 Is anyone going to the bar tonight? 163 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,533 I work there. 164 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,100 I wasn't talking to you. 165 00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:56,367 I'll go with you. 166 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:57,533 Whatever. 167 00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,000 Sure, I'll go for a drink. 168 00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:01,900 Yeah, oh, oh. Shit, I can't. 169 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,267 No, I met this girl at the support group last night. 170 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,467 Leah. 171 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,900 Yeah, we really, really connected. 172 00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:14,600 Went out afterwards for a drink. They saw me. 173 00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:19,600 So, this whole thing about going for a drink is so you can tell us about this girl? 174 00:11:20,967 --> 00:11:22,367 No. 175 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:24,267 No, I was... 176 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,733 I was just interested in what your plans were for tonight. 177 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:31,767 Excuse me. 178 00:11:34,867 --> 00:11:36,800 (MAKES SOUND EFFECT OF SHOOTING GUN) 179 00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:40,933 (IMITATES GUN CLICKING EMPTY) 180 00:11:42,533 --> 00:11:44,200 (MAKES SOUND EFFECT OF SHOOTING HANDGUN) 181 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,567 RUDY: Oh. Ha. 182 00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:00,200 (CLICKS TONGUE) 183 00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:02,767 Something on your mind? 184 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:05,867 You're on my mind. You are. 185 00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:10,833 You've cast a spell! I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't shit. 186 00:12:10,967 --> 00:12:14,967 Without that popping into my head. 187 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,867 Well, I hate to mess up your well established routine of 188 00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,600 eating, sleeping, and shitting, 189 00:12:19,733 --> 00:12:24,767 so, do you want to meet up later and talk about it? 190 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:27,567 -Yeah. -Okay. Well, it's a date. 191 00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,767 Girl, you're a witch. 192 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,333 You're a beautiful freakin' witch. You know that? 193 00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:08,467 Hiya. 194 00:13:10,733 --> 00:13:12,367 Hi. 195 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:16,133 Don't worry, I'm not going to spit tea and biscuits in your face. 196 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,633 Unless you want me to. 197 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:21,067 Sorry, do I know you? 198 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,800 Good one. (CHUCKLES) 199 00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:27,100 What? 200 00:13:27,233 --> 00:13:28,567 Oh, I see. 201 00:13:30,467 --> 00:13:31,933 You like to play games. 202 00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:35,700 Well, you better watch yourself. 203 00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:40,667 Because if you want to play, then you're playing with a player. 204 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,133 I've got no idea what you're talking about. 205 00:13:43,267 --> 00:13:44,400 Or who you are. 206 00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,167 Of course, you don't. 207 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:53,900 Game on. 208 00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,600 -Do me a favour. -I'd love to. 209 00:13:58,733 --> 00:14:00,533 Stay the fuck away from me! 210 00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:10,533 So, do you want to talk about what's going on with us? 211 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:13,667 Yeah, I do. Right, now, when it comes to Finley, 212 00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:15,400 there is no us. 213 00:14:15,533 --> 00:14:18,133 Honestly, I'll just deny I even know you. 214 00:14:18,267 --> 00:14:21,233 Jess? Who's Jess? Is she that Chinese fellow with a bit of a limp? 215 00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:23,267 So, we can't just be honest about it? 216 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,200 Of course, we can be honest. We can be honest about it. That's my middle name. 217 00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,067 Rudy Honest Jeffrey Wade. 218 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,167 (BOTH LAUGH) 219 00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,067 You go first. 220 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:36,233 I like you, which is really weird because you can be such a total dick. 221 00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:38,733 Hey, whoa. Well, I refute that. 222 00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:42,633 That's... That is refuted. 223 00:14:42,767 --> 00:14:46,333 If you want to start seeing me, I'm not going to sneak around. 224 00:14:46,467 --> 00:14:48,100 We have to tell Finn. 225 00:14:48,233 --> 00:14:51,567 Or we could just not tell him. Bingo. 226 00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:57,633 If you want to be with me, then we have to tell Finn. 227 00:14:57,767 --> 00:15:00,833 I don't know, isn't there like a middle ground where we just... 228 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,067 Where we don't tell him? Just... 229 00:15:07,067 --> 00:15:08,900 Yeah, all right. I'll tell him. 230 00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:11,667 Man to smaller man, I'm just going to have a word with him. It's not a problem. 231 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,800 -Oh. -Ah! Fuck! You... 232 00:15:13,933 --> 00:15:16,133 Finley's here! Finley's here. 233 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,200 -Women. -Where? 234 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:24,133 I'm saying, one minute you're spitting tea and biscuits in their face, and they're being 235 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:28,167 all coy and shy, and the next minute they're acting like they don't even know you. 236 00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:30,900 I'm done with this bullshit. 237 00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:34,967 Oh, hey, where is he going? Come here. Do you mean like, done with all women? 238 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,900 Everywhere? Jesus, man. Women are beautiful. They've got lovely little... 239 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,200 Shapely eyebrows, the smell of pain au chocolat. 240 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:44,500 Who are you talking about? 241 00:15:44,633 --> 00:15:46,400 (GIBBERISH) 242 00:15:46,533 --> 00:15:49,367 Talking about me mom. She stinks of pastry. Absolutely hums of the stuff. 243 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,167 Probably her hormones. I don't know. 244 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,300 Right. 245 00:15:54,733 --> 00:15:56,267 -It's Jess? -Oh. 246 00:15:57,267 --> 00:15:59,167 She's the only girl for me. 247 00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:02,233 Now, listen. Between me and you, don't say anything, I just, I think Jess might be 248 00:16:02,367 --> 00:16:03,433 a bit of a cunt. 249 00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:05,067 -Whoa, you can't say that! -Why not? 250 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,467 Because she's perfect. 251 00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,700 Yeah, she is perfect, mate. She is. 252 00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,467 She's perfection. 253 00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:27,533 Oh! Oh, God's sake. 254 00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:30,533 So, what are you going to do? 255 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,167 (SIGHS) 256 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,200 Are you going to tell Finn about your feelings for Jess? 257 00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:37,933 Are you out of your freakin' mind? 258 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,433 There is only one thing I can do. 259 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,067 Finley. 260 00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:19,300 (WHISPERS) Check your messages. 261 00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:21,633 Might find a little present there. 262 00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:24,167 -What is it? -Check it out. Enjoy. 263 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:25,567 (RUDY LAUGHS) 264 00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:27,433 (JESS MOANING) 265 00:17:29,433 --> 00:17:30,667 Is she taking a shit? 266 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,500 She's taking the Mother Teresa of all shits, dude. 267 00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:35,300 With her face all contorted? What the fuck? 268 00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:38,067 I know! It's enough to put you off her, isn't it? 269 00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:40,167 Oh, I can't watch it. Oh, my God. 270 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:44,167 Consider yourself cured of your childish infatuation. 271 00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:45,967 Why have you sent me a video of Jess taking a shit? 272 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,900 Eh? 273 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,600 Yeah, I got one of those, too. I thought it was one of those e-greeting cards. 274 00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:51,833 Are you fucking kidding? 275 00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,133 (JESS GRUNTING) 276 00:17:53,267 --> 00:17:54,433 Shit! 277 00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:01,933 -Morning! -(GASPS) 278 00:18:02,067 --> 00:18:04,200 Morning! Good morning, Jessica. 279 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,433 What the fuck are you doing? That's my phone! 280 00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:08,800 Yeah, I know. I've only bloody liberated you. 281 00:18:08,933 --> 00:18:11,433 Freed you from the tyrannies of freakin' texting. 282 00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:13,067 You free now? Just take off your shackles. 283 00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:14,633 Get rid of 'em. Throw it in there. 284 00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:18,667 # Free Nelson Mandela 285 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,067 # Shoes too small to fit these feet # 286 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,833 He should have gone to Clarks. They do have a bit of a wider fit. 287 00:18:24,967 --> 00:18:26,567 You're paying for a new phone. 288 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,867 What do you mean? You don't have insurance? Bloody hell. 289 00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,900 Well, some people might call that a bit irresponsible. You know what I mean? 290 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,700 Not me, I think it's adorable. I call it adorable. 291 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:38,733 I call it not having a fucking phone. 292 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,467 Adorable! 293 00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:43,667 Fuck! 294 00:18:58,533 --> 00:18:59,767 (CHIMING) 295 00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:09,300 What the fuck are you doing? 296 00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,433 (SIGHS) 297 00:19:13,167 --> 00:19:14,933 So, suddenly you know me again? 298 00:19:22,233 --> 00:19:24,833 Hey, you need to see this. 299 00:19:24,967 --> 00:19:26,400 -(JESS GRUNTING) -Yeah, I know. 300 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,800 It's all over the Internet. 301 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,700 -Oh! The fuck! -Mmm-hmm. 302 00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:31,967 (STAMMERS) Jinx in the fun, Finley. And by "fun" I mean 303 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:33,467 fucking world wide web. 304 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,267 -I'll see you later. -Where are you going? 305 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,400 To see Leah. 306 00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:39,533 The girl I met at the support group. 307 00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:43,367 You are! That's... That's brilliant! Get going. Go on. 308 00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,067 You know, I saw him coming out of the bar with her the other night. 309 00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:48,400 And she looked like she'd pissed herself. 310 00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:51,767 Well, maybe a vagina becomes so moist it just... 311 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:53,567 Soak through her clothing. 312 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,200 -And when's that ever happened? -(SIGHS) 313 00:19:58,333 --> 00:20:00,633 Summer of 2006, Lisa King. 314 00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,867 Her vagina was so moist, 315 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,933 it was like... 316 00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:08,900 Gently bubbling brook on a beautiful spring day. 317 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,200 (LIFT BELL DINGS) 318 00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:40,433 (ELECTRONIC HUMMING) 319 00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,433 Hi. 320 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,533 Hi. 321 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:04,433 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 322 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:08,967 Who are you? 323 00:21:10,133 --> 00:21:11,433 Where am I? 324 00:21:11,567 --> 00:21:13,667 You're in my flat. 325 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,533 I found you unconscious in the corridor, 326 00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:17,633 and I think you must have been in an accident. 327 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:20,633 Shit. 328 00:21:24,267 --> 00:21:25,700 (GROANS) I don't know what happened. 329 00:21:25,833 --> 00:21:27,567 You're okay, that's the main thing. 330 00:21:30,867 --> 00:21:31,867 Do I know you? 331 00:21:32,367 --> 00:21:33,633 No. (CHUCKLES) 332 00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:36,933 But it's weird because I feel like I know you, too. 333 00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:40,867 Yeah, I should go. 334 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,567 You don't have to. 335 00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,167 Stay if you like. 336 00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:46,067 Do you want a beer? 337 00:21:46,133 --> 00:21:48,467 I... I've got to get back, I'm on community service. 338 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,600 Stay. Have some pizza. 339 00:21:50,733 --> 00:21:53,167 Or do you like Chinese food? Anything you want. 340 00:21:54,533 --> 00:21:55,767 I'd love to. 341 00:21:56,967 --> 00:21:58,133 Honestly, I would, but... 342 00:21:58,267 --> 00:21:59,267 I've got things to do. 343 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,500 You know, like litter to pick up. 344 00:22:00,633 --> 00:22:01,567 There's everything we need right here. 345 00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:02,967 We don't have to go anywhere. 346 00:22:05,067 --> 00:22:06,133 Okay. 347 00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:09,567 This has been fun. 348 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,133 You know, whatever this is. 349 00:22:12,900 --> 00:22:14,200 I'll see you around. 350 00:22:18,067 --> 00:22:20,067 Don't. 351 00:22:20,133 --> 00:22:22,800 You've had your fun. The party's over, and I'm leaving. 352 00:22:27,633 --> 00:22:28,800 -Fuck off! -No! 353 00:22:31,467 --> 00:22:33,767 (DISTORTED VOICES) 354 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:50,167 Do you want to tell me what's going on? 355 00:22:51,567 --> 00:22:53,433 We're in a virtual world. 356 00:22:55,300 --> 00:22:58,867 I had us converted into electronic signals. 357 00:22:59,067 --> 00:23:02,300 We're just a long stream of ones and zeroes. 358 00:23:04,367 --> 00:23:06,200 Here's a question. 359 00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:07,867 Why the fuck would you do that? 360 00:23:11,567 --> 00:23:12,600 I like you. 361 00:23:12,733 --> 00:23:14,133 You don't even know me. 362 00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:16,100 It's me. 363 00:23:16,767 --> 00:23:17,800 Leah. 364 00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,067 The other night? 365 00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:23,267 At the support group? 366 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,467 You spat biscuit in me face. 367 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,800 That was me. 368 00:23:30,067 --> 00:23:33,133 I was downloaded into my friend's body. 369 00:23:34,433 --> 00:23:35,433 Okay. 370 00:23:35,567 --> 00:23:37,067 I don't want to get heavy with you, 371 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,533 but I'm done with all your little computer games, okay? 372 00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:42,200 I want out. 373 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:43,567 Game over. 374 00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:44,867 I thought you liked me. 375 00:23:45,833 --> 00:23:47,700 Oh, call me old-fashioned, 376 00:23:47,833 --> 00:23:51,200 but you kind of blew it when you turn me into a string of ones and zeroes 377 00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:53,733 and kept me prisoner in a virtual bedsit. 378 00:23:53,867 --> 00:23:57,067 It's better this way. I hate it out there. 379 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,533 You're a fucking nutter. 380 00:23:59,367 --> 00:24:01,100 Just great. Perfect. 381 00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:03,067 I finally meet a girl that I really... Oh. 382 00:24:03,167 --> 00:24:04,200 What? 383 00:24:04,533 --> 00:24:05,933 Nothing. 384 00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:08,567 You just need some time to get your head around it. 385 00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:10,133 I've got me head around it. 386 00:24:10,267 --> 00:24:11,733 Yeah, I think I have. 387 00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,133 I want out! 388 00:24:13,267 --> 00:24:14,800 I know we can be happy. 389 00:24:15,933 --> 00:24:18,067 Where are you going? You... 390 00:24:18,167 --> 00:24:19,900 You can't keep me in here! 391 00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:23,100 Let me go! 392 00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:28,867 You can't do this! 393 00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:32,300 Let me go. 394 00:24:50,533 --> 00:24:51,633 JESS: It was really weird 395 00:24:51,767 --> 00:24:53,600 because I was walking across the estate 396 00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,067 and people were looking at me... 397 00:24:56,067 --> 00:24:57,333 And laughing. 398 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,300 It's happened three times now. 399 00:25:01,433 --> 00:25:03,500 This one guy was really staring at me 400 00:25:03,633 --> 00:25:05,833 with this big smirk on his face. 401 00:25:05,967 --> 00:25:08,700 Oh, honestly, bloody hell! 402 00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:12,733 What a strange and unpredictable world we all bloody live in. 403 00:25:13,633 --> 00:25:14,767 My office. 404 00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:16,933 -Now. -Yep. 405 00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:27,733 I want to tell you a story. 406 00:25:28,267 --> 00:25:29,867 Okay. 407 00:25:30,067 --> 00:25:32,067 This story involves a young man 408 00:25:32,167 --> 00:25:36,233 who developed an affection for another young man. 409 00:25:36,367 --> 00:25:39,533 When the young man could repress his feelings no longer, 410 00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:41,533 he made a video, 411 00:25:41,667 --> 00:25:46,767 expressing his desires via the medium of poetry. 412 00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:50,233 And the young man sent the video by electronic mail 413 00:25:50,367 --> 00:25:53,767 or e-mail, as it was to become known. 414 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,800 Five minutes later, there was a ping in his inbox. 415 00:25:58,933 --> 00:26:00,600 And then another. (CHUCKLES) 416 00:26:00,733 --> 00:26:03,600 And then another. 417 00:26:03,733 --> 00:26:10,133 It transpires that the other young man did not share his feelings. 418 00:26:10,267 --> 00:26:12,900 He found the poem amusing, 419 00:26:13,067 --> 00:26:15,267 so he shared it with everyone he knew, 420 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:20,200 who shared it with everyone they knew, and so on and so forth. 421 00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:23,367 And the young man was understandably upset by this cruel rejection, 422 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,733 so confronted the object of his desires 423 00:26:25,867 --> 00:26:27,800 in a deserted underground car park. 424 00:26:30,067 --> 00:26:34,167 And with tears streaming down his face, 425 00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:36,300 he recited the poem again... 426 00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:42,533 As he beat the other young man to a bloody pulp. 427 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,433 You see my point? 428 00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:50,867 Not really. 429 00:26:59,133 --> 00:27:00,500 Perhaps this will help you. 430 00:27:06,933 --> 00:27:09,567 -(WATER SPLASHING) -(GRUNTING) 431 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,600 Korean mash up. 432 00:27:14,667 --> 00:27:17,067 (MAN SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE) 433 00:27:23,867 --> 00:27:26,300 Why is there a video of me shitting on the Internet? 434 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,067 What do you mean? 435 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,733 Making toilet on the Internet? 436 00:27:30,867 --> 00:27:32,900 Damn you, Bill Gates. That's out of order, man. 437 00:27:33,067 --> 00:27:35,100 -Can't believe it. -It was you, wasn't it? 438 00:27:37,067 --> 00:27:39,067 Can I just... Let me just say, in me... 439 00:27:39,167 --> 00:27:40,233 Let me just say, me defence... 440 00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:41,400 Look, we've all made bloody mistakes. 441 00:27:41,533 --> 00:27:43,533 -(SCREAMING) -Okay, now. 442 00:27:43,667 --> 00:27:46,100 Jess, Jess... Get the fuck off... 443 00:27:46,233 --> 00:27:47,400 What the fuck, Jess? 444 00:27:47,533 --> 00:27:50,267 Ow! Jesus Fucking Christ! 445 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,067 (GROANING) 446 00:27:58,200 --> 00:27:59,800 I brought you some pizza. 447 00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:04,067 You think you can just win me over with a few slices of pizza? 448 00:28:05,167 --> 00:28:07,367 -Pathetic. -I'll come back later. 449 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:10,367 Whoa, wait, wait. What kind of pizza is it? 450 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:11,533 Hawaiian. 451 00:28:18,833 --> 00:28:21,533 You're the one who wanted to come and talk about our issues, 452 00:28:21,667 --> 00:28:25,167 which, for the record, are all in your weak little mind. 453 00:28:25,300 --> 00:28:26,533 But that is before. 454 00:28:26,667 --> 00:28:28,633 I realised how important this group is. 455 00:28:28,767 --> 00:28:32,667 Do you know, honestly, you are like a bull with a hard-on in a china shop. 456 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:33,933 It's ridiculous. 457 00:28:35,700 --> 00:28:37,167 Is this about Jess? 458 00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:38,667 I just... I don't know what to do. 459 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,167 You try and do the good thing, the right, the noble thing. 460 00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:42,367 And what do have to show off for it? 461 00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:44,967 A freakin' broken heart and a ruptured testicle. 462 00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:47,067 Mmm. I'll see you later. 463 00:28:47,133 --> 00:28:48,133 Brilliant. 464 00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:55,433 Fuck me. 465 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:57,700 All right. 466 00:29:00,733 --> 00:29:04,500 Don't ever let your testicles get viciously beaten with your own broom handle. 467 00:29:04,633 --> 00:29:07,500 -I'll keep that in mind. -Do. 468 00:29:07,633 --> 00:29:10,200 So, I hear you and Finn were in the bar the other night, 469 00:29:10,333 --> 00:29:12,833 it was all getting a little bit Lisa King in the crotch department, 470 00:29:12,967 --> 00:29:14,367 wasn't it, eh? 471 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:17,567 The brook does bubbleth over. 472 00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:19,467 -(LAUGHS) -I don't know what you're talking about. 473 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,967 Of course, you don't know. A lady doesn't speak of such matters. 474 00:29:22,100 --> 00:29:25,133 Was madame satisfied? 475 00:29:25,267 --> 00:29:27,067 No, really, I don't know what you're talking about. 476 00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:29,333 I'm talking about madame and Master Finley. 477 00:29:29,467 --> 00:29:32,867 I presume he's to be found in a pool of his own bodily fluids somewhere. 478 00:29:33,067 --> 00:29:34,767 -Who's Finley? -For God's sake, 479 00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:37,433 Finley is the small, well intentioned, monkey-ish little fellow. 480 00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:38,900 You are like... 481 00:29:39,067 --> 00:29:40,300 You're Leah, aren't you? 482 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,300 Oh, I get it. I'm sorry. 483 00:29:45,433 --> 00:29:47,700 You're embarrassed and deeply ashamed. 484 00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:49,500 Just wink three times and I'll know. 485 00:29:49,633 --> 00:29:50,900 It wasn't me. 486 00:29:52,067 --> 00:29:53,533 I think it was my friend, Leah. 487 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,300 I think she did something to me. 488 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,300 Look, in a couple of days, 489 00:30:04,433 --> 00:30:07,233 everybody's going to be going crazy about a new video of a... 490 00:30:07,367 --> 00:30:10,333 A dancing cat or... 491 00:30:10,467 --> 00:30:13,633 Or the grizzly bear chasing the dwarf. 492 00:30:13,767 --> 00:30:15,767 It's a classic. His little legs. 493 00:30:15,900 --> 00:30:17,233 Poor little... 494 00:30:18,833 --> 00:30:20,933 Anyway, my point is, no one remembers it. 495 00:30:21,067 --> 00:30:22,500 You obviously remember it. 496 00:30:22,633 --> 00:30:24,700 I think you looked rather cute, actually, 497 00:30:24,833 --> 00:30:27,500 you're face all screwed up and contorted. 498 00:30:27,633 --> 00:30:29,367 Will you please just shut the fuck up? 499 00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:30,867 RUDY: Guys... Guys! 500 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,600 No, no, no, don't! Stop. 501 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,000 Can I just say, in my defence... 502 00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:36,200 -No, you can't... -No, no, no, no, no. Don't! 503 00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:39,367 Not the testicles, for God's sake. 504 00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:41,667 (SIGHS) I think Finn's in trouble. 505 00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:47,233 ALEX: So how does this girl's power work? 506 00:30:47,367 --> 00:30:48,733 RUDY: Well, I don't know. 507 00:30:48,867 --> 00:30:50,600 Her mate seems to think it's something to do with computers 508 00:30:50,733 --> 00:30:52,333 and freakin' insert yourself into people. 509 00:30:52,467 --> 00:30:54,700 I don't really understand it, but she has got our little monkey man, 510 00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:57,267 and I for one will not let him be experimented on. 511 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,900 Unless she's dressing him up, man, 512 00:30:59,033 --> 00:31:00,833 like one of them chimps in the PG Tip adverts, 513 00:31:00,967 --> 00:31:02,100 then colour me amused. 514 00:31:07,433 --> 00:31:10,167 (SIGHS) Can I just say, in my defence... 515 00:31:12,933 --> 00:31:13,967 Oh, my God. 516 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:20,467 Finn? 517 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:21,833 Oh, shit. 518 00:31:22,867 --> 00:31:25,100 She's fucking killed him. 519 00:31:25,233 --> 00:31:28,933 Finn, I never had a chance to tell you. Dude, it was me. 520 00:31:29,067 --> 00:31:31,133 I stole the birthday money from your gran, 521 00:31:31,267 --> 00:31:33,067 but I already borrowed it, dude. 522 00:31:33,167 --> 00:31:34,600 How can I pay you back? 523 00:31:34,733 --> 00:31:36,467 He's got a pulse, he's still alive. 524 00:31:38,267 --> 00:31:40,067 He doesn't need to know about the birthday money from his gran. 525 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,367 It was only 20 quid. 526 00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:43,300 He's in here. 527 00:31:45,067 --> 00:31:46,633 She's got him on a memory stick. 528 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,800 Good pizza. 529 00:31:51,933 --> 00:31:53,300 I'm glad you like it. 530 00:31:54,633 --> 00:31:56,200 This doesn't mean I want to stay here. 531 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,367 It's not even real. 532 00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,133 It's just ones and zeroes. 533 00:32:05,467 --> 00:32:07,133 This isn't even real tinned pineapple, is it? 534 00:32:14,167 --> 00:32:16,067 When was the last time you left your flat? 535 00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:19,067 The day of the storm. 536 00:32:19,133 --> 00:32:20,933 Wow. 537 00:32:21,067 --> 00:32:22,900 You really need to get out more. 538 00:32:23,067 --> 00:32:24,100 (SNICKERS) 539 00:32:24,567 --> 00:32:25,600 Really. 540 00:32:26,833 --> 00:32:28,400 I used to go out. 541 00:32:30,300 --> 00:32:33,133 Gradually I just stopped. 542 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,600 Everything's easier online, you... 543 00:32:36,733 --> 00:32:38,067 You chat to who you want to chat to. 544 00:32:38,167 --> 00:32:39,500 You decide you don't like them. 545 00:32:39,633 --> 00:32:41,067 One click, and they're gone. 546 00:32:41,133 --> 00:32:42,767 You never have to see them again. 547 00:32:44,867 --> 00:32:46,233 You take the piss, 548 00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:48,100 click. 549 00:32:49,533 --> 00:32:51,733 Act like a dick, click. 550 00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:57,533 You embarrass yourself, click. 551 00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:01,967 It is not like being out there, you're in control. 552 00:33:03,467 --> 00:33:05,267 If it works for you, great. 553 00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:08,533 I like it out there. 554 00:33:08,667 --> 00:33:11,533 You stay here and click away 'cause 555 00:33:11,667 --> 00:33:13,233 I'm going to be on me way. 556 00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:15,167 We can be happy in here, I know we can. We have everything we need. 557 00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:17,067 If you're so happy, 558 00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:18,933 then why were you at the support group? 559 00:33:20,067 --> 00:33:23,567 Why were you there if you didn't want help? 560 00:33:23,700 --> 00:33:26,733 If this is so great, why were you there? 561 00:33:26,867 --> 00:33:29,367 -Why were you there? -Because I'm lonely! 562 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:40,767 Of course, you're lonely. 563 00:33:43,433 --> 00:33:44,967 You never leave your flat. 564 00:33:47,333 --> 00:33:48,733 Can't you tell her, Finn? 565 00:33:48,867 --> 00:33:50,367 You soft twat. 566 00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:52,533 Shut up, this is good. 567 00:33:52,667 --> 00:33:54,400 Life is just passing you by. 568 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:56,967 Real life. 569 00:33:57,100 --> 00:34:00,367 And yeah, it's shit sometimes. 570 00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:03,667 But you need the shit to appreciate the good things. 571 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,833 Like... 572 00:34:04,967 --> 00:34:07,233 The first time you meet a girl you fancy. 573 00:34:09,933 --> 00:34:12,333 That shy little flutter. 574 00:34:14,700 --> 00:34:16,100 I had that when I met you. 575 00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,433 At the support group, I asked you for a drink. 576 00:34:23,567 --> 00:34:24,967 LEAH: That wasn't even me. 577 00:34:25,100 --> 00:34:27,067 It was. It was you. It was... 578 00:34:27,167 --> 00:34:29,300 It was your personality. 579 00:34:29,433 --> 00:34:30,900 You're prettier than your friend. 580 00:34:31,067 --> 00:34:32,600 (LEAH CHUCKLES) 581 00:34:32,733 --> 00:34:35,400 I'm not saying, like she's a munter or... 582 00:34:36,933 --> 00:34:38,233 You're prettier. 583 00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:42,067 We could give it a try up there. 584 00:34:44,067 --> 00:34:45,067 I like you. 585 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:46,400 You're just saying that so I'll let you go. 586 00:34:46,533 --> 00:34:48,167 You'll leave and you'll never come back. 587 00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:51,400 -No. -No, if you like me, you can stay in here with me. 588 00:34:52,933 --> 00:34:55,967 No, no, no, no! Finley! 589 00:34:56,733 --> 00:34:58,667 Finley! Finley! 590 00:34:58,800 --> 00:34:59,833 Let him go! 591 00:35:06,067 --> 00:35:07,133 Shit! 592 00:35:08,233 --> 00:35:09,833 I'm all out of brilliant ideas. 593 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,133 You don't know what you're missing. 594 00:35:14,267 --> 00:35:18,067 5'4" and a quarter inches of sheer magnificence. 595 00:35:24,233 --> 00:35:26,367 No. No! 596 00:35:36,733 --> 00:35:37,800 Oh... 597 00:35:38,533 --> 00:35:39,733 Oh. 598 00:35:39,867 --> 00:35:41,867 ABBY: Come on, come on, come on. 599 00:35:42,067 --> 00:35:43,433 Quick, quick, quick. 600 00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:49,733 ALEX: Wait, wait, wait. 601 00:35:49,867 --> 00:35:51,333 -Where's the memory stick? -JESS: I've got it. 602 00:35:57,867 --> 00:35:59,167 LEAH: His phone. 603 00:36:03,833 --> 00:36:06,133 Okay, so how are we going to get Finn 604 00:36:06,267 --> 00:36:07,933 out of here and into his body? 605 00:36:08,067 --> 00:36:11,667 Well, guys, luckily for young Finley down here, 606 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,767 one of us has a master's degree in computer science. 607 00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:15,233 Yeah, but you don't actually have 608 00:36:15,367 --> 00:36:17,067 a master's degree in computer science, do you? 609 00:36:17,167 --> 00:36:19,200 You have a fake certificate that you printed off the Internet. 610 00:36:19,333 --> 00:36:20,867 -(MOBILE PHONE RINGING) -Is this about the shitting? 611 00:36:21,067 --> 00:36:23,200 'Cause seriously, for fuck's sake. 612 00:36:23,333 --> 00:36:24,400 Hello. 613 00:36:32,333 --> 00:36:33,967 ABBY: That was fresh and easy. 614 00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:35,967 -ABBY: I think we're getting better at this stuff, guys. -Yeah. 615 00:36:36,100 --> 00:36:37,900 Why don't I take him home with me? 616 00:36:38,067 --> 00:36:40,500 And then I can look after him while we all figure out what we're going to do. 617 00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:42,600 You? You want to look after him? 618 00:36:42,733 --> 00:36:44,067 What are you going to do with him? 619 00:36:45,467 --> 00:36:46,500 Give him a bath. 620 00:36:46,633 --> 00:36:47,933 ABBY: Scented candles. 621 00:36:48,067 --> 00:36:49,467 Everyone likes a scented candle. 622 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:50,867 Mmm-hmm. 623 00:36:51,067 --> 00:36:53,933 Yeah, and you can drive him home in your new car. 624 00:36:54,067 --> 00:36:55,100 Can't you? 625 00:36:56,067 --> 00:36:57,067 Yeah. 626 00:36:57,167 --> 00:36:58,600 RUDY: Have you got a new car? 627 00:36:58,733 --> 00:36:59,733 Am I on insurance? 628 00:36:59,867 --> 00:37:01,433 Oh, my God, let's get a caravan. 629 00:37:01,567 --> 00:37:03,233 -Give me the memory stick. -RUDY: We'll get on the ferry, 630 00:37:03,367 --> 00:37:04,667 we just go to France. Load up with baguettes. 631 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:06,400 Just fucking drive, guys, you know what I mean? 632 00:37:06,533 --> 00:37:09,133 It's her, she's downloaded into Alex. 633 00:37:10,067 --> 00:37:11,367 But we can we be together. 634 00:37:12,467 --> 00:37:14,067 I can make him happy. 635 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,067 Handsome barman, dude, seriously. 636 00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:17,533 Are you in there at all? Are you there? 637 00:37:17,667 --> 00:37:18,767 No. (GROANS) 638 00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:20,200 Give me the memory stick. 639 00:37:21,767 --> 00:37:23,133 Don't make me hurt you. 640 00:37:23,267 --> 00:37:24,300 It's okay. 641 00:37:29,733 --> 00:37:30,933 (JESS GRUNTS) 642 00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:33,900 RUDY: Guys. Jesus Christ! 643 00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:37,367 Girls, go, go, go, girls. 644 00:37:39,933 --> 00:37:41,300 (LIFT BELL DINGS) 645 00:37:48,333 --> 00:37:49,567 Whoa! 646 00:37:56,633 --> 00:37:58,333 -What's happening? -(SHUSHING) 647 00:37:59,233 --> 00:38:01,133 He's talking to the caretaker. 648 00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:04,133 The most noble of all professions. 649 00:38:05,933 --> 00:38:07,733 (GRUNTS) 650 00:38:07,867 --> 00:38:09,967 Hit him. He's fucking headbutted him. 651 00:38:14,133 --> 00:38:15,200 Shit! 652 00:38:20,067 --> 00:38:21,567 -It's a dead end. -ABBY: All right. 653 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:44,300 (THUDDING) 654 00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:04,700 (GASPS) 655 00:39:30,333 --> 00:39:31,600 (SIGHS) 656 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,233 I think he's gone. 657 00:39:34,367 --> 00:39:35,333 (SCREAMS) 658 00:40:09,967 --> 00:40:11,300 (SPUTTERS) 659 00:40:12,367 --> 00:40:15,033 Well, nailed to the floor. 660 00:40:15,167 --> 00:40:16,433 That's a first. 661 00:40:16,567 --> 00:40:18,967 Speak for yourself. School play. 662 00:40:19,100 --> 00:40:21,267 Crucifixion re-enactment gone badly awry. 663 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,133 (LAUGHS) 664 00:40:44,267 --> 00:40:45,433 Hi. 665 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:50,300 Hi. 666 00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:01,967 JESS: Help! Hi. 667 00:41:02,100 --> 00:41:03,767 -Hello. -Hi. 668 00:41:08,233 --> 00:41:11,667 Oh. You're electro girl. Me doppelganger's looking for you. 669 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,300 Wants to speak to you about a jumper or something. 670 00:41:14,433 --> 00:41:16,233 What are you doing? 671 00:41:16,367 --> 00:41:19,367 I know it's a big ask, but is there any chance at all 672 00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:22,100 that you could pull these nails out for us? 673 00:41:22,233 --> 00:41:25,067 I'm on my way to a job, though. 674 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,500 I'm on my way to a job. 675 00:41:27,633 --> 00:41:30,800 That's what the good Samaritan said to Jesus when he found him nailed to the cross. 676 00:41:30,933 --> 00:41:33,100 But you know what, he freakin' unnailed him. 677 00:41:33,233 --> 00:41:34,967 And then he said, "Do you want to kip in me stable 678 00:41:35,100 --> 00:41:38,067 "with that donkey from Bethlehem?" 679 00:41:38,133 --> 00:41:39,467 And Jesus said... Do you know what he said? 680 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,467 He went, "Oh, cheers, mate. See that water over there? 681 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,567 "I'm going to turn that into wine... 682 00:41:45,767 --> 00:41:46,833 "And fish." 683 00:41:46,967 --> 00:41:48,467 You really know your Bible, don't you? 684 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,533 Me faith is very important to me. 685 00:41:51,933 --> 00:41:53,733 For fuck's sake. 686 00:41:53,867 --> 00:41:56,200 Whoa! Careful, careful, careful. 687 00:41:56,333 --> 00:41:57,433 Come with me. 688 00:41:57,567 --> 00:41:59,433 -Don't. -You can do this. 689 00:42:02,067 --> 00:42:03,267 I'll be with you. 690 00:42:12,233 --> 00:42:13,433 (SIGHS) 691 00:42:16,933 --> 00:42:17,967 Come on. 692 00:42:22,767 --> 00:42:25,133 Don't worry, there's nothing to be scared of. 693 00:42:25,267 --> 00:42:26,300 Nobody's going to hurt you. 694 00:42:26,433 --> 00:42:28,167 Get off my monkey, you crazy... 695 00:42:28,300 --> 00:42:29,667 FINN: Leave her alone. 696 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:30,900 ALEX: What happened? 697 00:42:31,067 --> 00:42:33,567 She has been inserting herself into you, dude, 698 00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:35,667 and not in a fucking "I'm not gay, 699 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,900 "I just want to know how it feels" kind of way neither. 700 00:42:39,067 --> 00:42:40,367 I'll handle this. 701 00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:42,100 I think you'll find she's already been handled... 702 00:42:43,333 --> 00:42:44,600 By me... 703 00:42:46,167 --> 00:42:47,500 In there. 704 00:43:05,567 --> 00:43:06,800 Can I just say, my defence... 705 00:43:06,933 --> 00:43:08,067 -Right. -Look, just don't. Just stop. 706 00:43:08,167 --> 00:43:09,367 Jess, please. Just... 707 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:11,433 There are things I need to tell you, 708 00:43:11,567 --> 00:43:13,367 and I just... You need to listen. 709 00:43:13,500 --> 00:43:15,800 The business with the defecation, 710 00:43:15,933 --> 00:43:17,333 perhaps that was an error... 711 00:43:17,467 --> 00:43:20,067 No, it was. It was an error in judgement on my part, 712 00:43:20,133 --> 00:43:24,200 but me motives, they were true and bloody noble. 713 00:43:26,833 --> 00:43:28,933 Watching you defecate your guts out, 714 00:43:29,067 --> 00:43:31,100 it didn't put me off you at all. 715 00:43:31,233 --> 00:43:32,300 At all. 716 00:43:32,433 --> 00:43:34,900 There is no greater test of a man's feelings. 717 00:43:35,067 --> 00:43:37,933 I have seen you turn shit ugly. 718 00:43:39,933 --> 00:43:41,900 But... 719 00:43:42,067 --> 00:43:44,267 But to me it was shit beautiful. You are... 720 00:43:45,167 --> 00:43:46,600 You're a beautiful shitter. 721 00:43:48,933 --> 00:43:50,067 (SIGHS) 722 00:43:56,733 --> 00:43:57,733 What? 723 00:44:16,467 --> 00:44:18,933 Hang on, hang on. 724 00:44:19,067 --> 00:44:21,533 It's not just a one off thing, is it? I mean... 725 00:44:24,133 --> 00:44:26,400 You are going to be me girlfriend, aren't you? 726 00:44:28,067 --> 00:44:29,633 I'll be your girlfriend. 727 00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:32,633 -Yeah? -Yeah. 728 00:44:34,667 --> 00:44:35,700 (CHUCKLES) 729 00:44:36,833 --> 00:44:38,333 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 730 00:44:43,867 --> 00:44:45,233 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 731 00:44:49,933 --> 00:44:50,967 Oh. 732 00:44:55,233 --> 00:44:56,467 (EXHALES) 733 00:45:01,833 --> 00:45:03,167 Oh. Um... 734 00:45:04,367 --> 00:45:05,533 I'm... 735 00:45:05,667 --> 00:45:07,233 I'm sorry, um... 736 00:45:07,367 --> 00:45:10,667 Last week, you shocked me and you restarted my heart. 737 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,967 I didn't look like this. I was an 80-year-old man. 738 00:45:13,100 --> 00:45:14,767 I had senile dementia. 739 00:45:15,633 --> 00:45:17,367 That was you? 740 00:45:17,500 --> 00:45:19,700 Yeah, I didn't get a chance to say thank you or anything and... 741 00:45:22,733 --> 00:45:23,967 Thank you. 742 00:45:31,933 --> 00:45:33,700 Oh... Can I just... 743 00:45:33,833 --> 00:45:36,967 I'm sorry to bother you. It's about a jumper. 744 00:45:37,100 --> 00:45:39,067 Are you some kind of knitwear salesman? 745 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,433 I've seen the future. 746 00:45:43,333 --> 00:45:45,600 And I think it might be your future. 747 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:51,167 So what happens to me? 748 00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:54,967 I think you become a proper superhero. 749 00:45:59,100 --> 00:46:01,800 WOMAN: It's a support group for terminally ill young people. 750 00:46:01,933 --> 00:46:03,567 I'm one of their care assistants. 751 00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:05,067 It's not fucking fair. 752 00:46:05,967 --> 00:46:07,633 What can you do? 753 00:46:07,767 --> 00:46:10,633 Yes! Fuck you, you fucking loser! 754 00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:14,533 Holding someone, it... 755 00:46:14,667 --> 00:46:16,633 -It makes you feel alive. -(GASPING) 756 00:46:17,300 --> 00:46:18,733 What's going on? 757 00:46:18,867 --> 00:46:20,867 I don't know what's going on with him. 758 00:46:21,067 --> 00:46:22,500 I've got something for you. 759 00:46:22,633 --> 00:46:23,900 Yeah? 760 00:46:26,467 --> 00:46:27,700 This has been a good day. 761 00:46:27,833 --> 00:46:29,467 Yeah, it has been a good day. 53815

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