All language subtitles for Mind Your Business s02e09 Politically Incorrect.eng

[Rhythmic Bass Music]

- What's up everybody--
- A.J.!

What I tell you about talking
to your imaginary friends on here.

- They're his followers,

and I think it's sweet
they wanna hear what my baby has to say.

- Thanks mom.

This is for Nate anyways though.

When he gets here,
I wanna help him go viral

by introducing him
as my favorite cousin,

Naughty by 'Nate'-ure.

- Awe, I'm sure he'll love that.
- Thanks.

- See I'm not mad at the kid
coming to town to be an intern at the event space.

Can somebody say
free errand boy?

- No, no.

My brother is sending him here
to learn about running a business,

not to fan you
with palm branches while feeding you grapes.

- Well, so long everyone.

I have an interview set up
for Lance Evans.

- That brother tryna be
the new alderman?

- Oh, ho-ho, the brother
who will be the new alderman.

Ever since Jackie
introduced us,

I been helping with his campaign

and promoting his plan
to clean up corruption

in our city's politics.

- Yes, end corruption!

But auntie look,
while you're at it,

ask old Lancey
if he could pull some strings,

and squash the property taxes.

- Oh, oh, oh, and can he
cancel my speeding ticket?

- What?
- When'd you get a speeding ticket?

- See, you two are part
of the problem. - That's right.

- Go out there and make
a change, auntie.

- Oh I will, nephew,

'cause you know,
I'm the original influencer.

- I know that's right.

- Honey, I was snapchatting
before chat was snapping.

Oh! Now look,

I hope y'all didn't block me
in the back garage there.

- So you out here,
drag racing, huh?

Fast and the furious?

- Listen, those cameras
are from the pit of hell.

- Hey, better you than me mom.

If I got a ticket,
I'd probably get kicked out the house,

like a crackhouse couch.

[Laughs]
[Knocking]

- My favorite nephew!
- Aye!

- Aunt Kim, it's been a month
of Sundays!

- Aye, ten years and some days,
bruh, ten years.

- Hey, Uncle Al, what's up?
- So good to see you.

- Welcome back to the city 'cuz.

- Wait, is this
Alfonso Williams Jr.

all grown up on me?

What you been up to, cousin?

- Just living my best life.

You know come on, get
in this video with me real quick for my TikTok.

- Oh, wait, no thanks.

I don't do that.

- Say what now?
- Yeah.

I actually believe screen time
is a toxic addiction.

- Uh, excuse me?

What planet are you from, boy?

- Planet common sense.

Social media is for the sheep
of society.

- A.J., why don't you help
Nate take his bags to the room?

- Sure.

- Don't tell me my cousin's out
here gyrating for likes?

- (whispering) That's what
I been tryna say.

- I know Nate is only 16 but,

it seems he and A.J. have
somewhat different points of view.

- Yeah, but maybe some of that
maturity will rub off on A.J.

and then he'll stop,

running to snuggle in our bed
every time there's a thunderstorm.

[Thunder Roars]
- Mommy!

[Light Music]

- When I win the election
and become alderman of Naperville,

I'm gonna march right down
to city hall

and shred every
corrupt contract.

- Yes.
- I mean I haven't received as many donations

as some of my competitors, but,

I realized people are just
afraid of changing the status quo.

- Well now see, the status quo

is the reason that we're
in this mess.

You know I have lived here
all my life,

and I'm tired of seeing people
who don't even live in our community

coming in here ruining it
for the hardworking people who do.

- Preach, Lucille, preach.

- And that's exactly why
I'm running for alderman.

You know, you ladies are truly
my favorite campaign team.

- Aw, thank you.

- Yeah, and I appreciate
you offering

up your event space
for my press conference.

- Listen, we are willing to do
whatever it takes.

Our pleasure.

You just need to focus
on winning.

[Funky Music]

- I don't know why everyone
gets so excited

about all this politics stuff.

I just don't get that
riled up about it.

- Yeah, some people treat
these politicians like they cult leaders.

- Mhm.
- Sad days.

- Hi ladies!
Remember my nephew Nate?

- Oh, look at you Nate,

all grown up.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

What happened to that little kid
with that squeaky voice

and the ashy ankles?

- Mm.
- Puberty.

And the miracle workings
of a drug called cocoa butter.

You should try it.

- So Nate's gonna be interning
with dad

at the event space this week.

- Yeah.
- Fun.

- So, this is where
the magic happens?

- Yup, and we're hosting
a special party here tonight.

- Yeah, so you're gonna get
a firsthand look

of how we put it all together.

- Cool.
- Come on, follow me.

My dad's in his office.
We'll see you guys later.

- See ya.
- But don't learn too much from him.

'Cause the world can't handle

an Alfonso replica.

[Laughs]
- Alright y'all,

is everything ready

for our new alderman,
Lance Evans,

to knock the socks off
the media tonight?

- Well, I didn't know
you were so passionate about politics, auntie.

- Well, I'm passionate about
there not being a sewage plant

and a landfill built
on our block.

- Wait a minute, the trash
companies wanna take a dump in our community?

- So they can pollute
our air and water?

- Well, now, Lance promises

that he's not gon'
let that happen.

[Upbeat Techno Music]

- That's the last
of the shredding.

- Great job Nate.

Aye, now, you get to organize
the junk drawer.

And son, I need you to
go file away these invoices.

Yes sir.

- Dad, I'm not interning.

- Excuse me?
You are the fruit of my loins,

so that makes you
a lifelong intern.

- Look, it's okay Uncle Al,
I can do both.

- Thanks.

My friends are picking me up
soon anyway

so we can go to this
runway fashion show downtown.

- I never understood fashion.

People spend so much time
finding what to wear,

when they could be
getting to the money.

- See, that's why a lot
of billionaires, they wear the same shirt.

Everyday.

- Yeah, but those guys
have no 'rizz.

Would you rather be rich
or musty?

- [Both] Rich.

- You guys are hysterical.

You know, maybe I'll hang out
for a bit instead of going to the show.

- Oh no, no, no son,
you know the ins and outs of this place.

Go enjoy yourself.

We got a lot of work to do
that I know you're not into.

- Alright, I'll catch
y'all later.

Need to finish this video first
though.

- So, Uncle Al,
let's talk business.

What's your profit margin
looking like here?

- Son, getting into financials

is way out of the intern zone.

Okay, why don't you ask me
about how to get some coffee.

- Look, I didn't mean
to overstep,

I was just thinking
I could help grow your profit

by investing
in the stock market.

- What you know
about the stock market?

- What, you still think I spend
my time playing with hot wheels?

I'm a day trader.

Everybody's making money
like this.

Shoot, A.J, I'm surprised
you didn't put your dad on game.

Don't you trade too?

- The only thing I trade
is skincare tips.

- When I get elected,
you're gonna see change.

No more dumping trash
or sewage in the neighborhoods

that our kids go to school in.

We're gonna take back our city,

one block at a time.

- You tell 'em Lance!
- That's my friend's grandson.

- Right there.
- Uh, excuse me.

This is a press conference,
not a Frankie Beverly concert.

- More like a John Legend,
look at him.

- Oo! [Cackling]
- Sorry baby.

- No, no, it's alright,
it's okay.

As you can see, everyone's
fired up about a better future.

Now, before I leave,

I have to thank the person
responsible for tonight.

Lucille, come on up here.

- Okay, okay!
- Go, go girl.

- Lance, you didn't have to
do this now.

- Well, well I have
an announcement to make.

My current campaign manager
has resigned.

But at this time,
I'd like to invite Lucille

to fill that position.

- Me?

- I'd like you to lead me down
that path to victory.

What do you say?

- I'd be honored Lance.

Meet my new campaign leader,
Lucille Williams.

[Light Music]

- You guys are up early.

- Uh, uh, bae,

why you didn't tell me
your nephew could trade like Warren Buffett?

- I didn't know.

- So, I click this here
to sell that stock

and then boom,
instant profit.

- Boom, he's brilliant babe.

Are you sure your brother's
his daddy?

- Oh, you should help A.J.
get his portfolio in order.

- The only thing I'm tryna order
is a new fit off Glamazon right now.

- But that's spending money.

How're you gonna make some.

- Oh that's easy,
hey dad can I have $200 please?

- Hell no!
[Laughs]

Back in the day, when we had
a big payday,

we'd go straight, celebrate
at the strip-- to the,

to the pool hall, huh.

Do you wanna go
to the pool hall?

- I'm down, let's go.

See ya' 'cuz.

- But, A.J., you should go
too, honey.

- No, it's fine,
it's way too early.

And I wasn't invited.

- Lance, Lance, Lance, oh!

Oh, morning family!

- Morning madame chairwoman
and crew.

So what's on the agenda
for today?

- Oh, a helicopter ride
with Lance

to get a bird's eye view
of our problems,

and then the ladies
are gonna be stomping downtown.

- I'm gonna be a part
of the grassroots team

knocking on doors.

- And I will be enjoying
an amazing hot dog

in front of a stadium.

- Jackie.
- And passing out signs.

- A.J., could you please do
Auntie Lucille a big favor

and ask your followers
to vote for Lance!

- Sure, it's not like I'm doing
anything else.

- Come on y'all, let's
take a picture.

This is for the Tik and the Tok.

[Laughs]

I don't know why y'all
are breaking down,

I've got two rallies
and a photoshoot here for Lance

later this week.

- Don't you think it's just
a little too much, auntie?

- Uh, not at all, keep him
around as much as possible.

I mean, he could just
move on in.

- Yeah, but what about
the other events here?

- Listen, this is now
the official headquarters

for the Lance Evans campaign,

through the remainder
of the election.

- I just don't want you to go
all in too fast auntie.

You know how you get.

- Uh, uh, don't listen to her,
I mean,

doesn't he need a running mate?

Oh, or a first lady.

[Laughs]

- Ladies,

last night was a huge success.

I want to personally thank you
for a flawless press conference.

- It was nothing Lance,

you don't have to thanks us.

- Oh yes he does,
I like to be thanked.

Hi, I'm Mia.

[Laughs]
Yes, your future,

loyal constituent.

- Well, the pleasure's all mine.

I appreciate your support.

Lucille, I'd like to uh, uh,

I'd like to talk to you
about some economics.

- Mm, you can trickle down
my economics.

- Okay, uh, we'll leave you
to it, okay.

Bye, friend.

- So, Lance, I've got a plan

for those crooks tryna build
that landfill down the street.

That's the last thing we need,

is the wind blowing the smell
of rotten garbage up in here.

- Lucille,

now you know I appreciate
everything you've done up until this point.

- Oh.

Uh-oh, I've heard this before.

You're firing me, aren't you?

- No, no, not at all.

As a matter of fact,
I'd like to reward you.

- Oh, oh well, oh!

Lance, there's $10,000 in here!

- And that's an advance
for the work ahead.

I've gotten a new financial
supporter for my campaign.

- Oh, that is amazing.

- But um,

some things are gonna
have to change.

- Oh-ho, I'll say so.

With this kind of money,
we can get TV ads,

and expand our reach.

- I mean, with the campaign.

The donor is the
Chicago Waste Association.

- Wait a minute Lance,
that's who we're fighting against.

Wait, I don't understand.

- I'm going to allow them
to build the landfill.

[Funky Music]

- We're back!

- What's up man?
- Hey baby.

- You guys went to the mall?

- Yeah, Mr. Krabs over here
came out his shell a little

and spent some money.

- Wait, wait, you got my husband
to splurge?

- It's not splurging if it's
from the last looks clearance rack, mom.

- But, he did agree to start
a joint investment account with me, so.

- Can we say, $1,000 each?

[Celebratory Noises]

- I think we can turn this into
a million.

- Yup.
- Come here, baby.

Let me take you upstairs.

[Low Suggestive Muttering]

- Hey, kids here.
- Okay, girl, but I'ma look good in these things.

- Alright y'all.

- Crazy.

- So, Nate.

You and my dad seem to be
having a good time.

- Yeah, Uncle Al is legit.

Wait, you still cut the crust
off, what are you like five?

Okay, I'm just gonna come out
and say it,

I don't appreciate the way
you've been putting me down

and leaving me
out of everything.

- Cousin, what are you
talking about?

- I'm talking about
you coming into town

and thinking you can just
go everywhere,

and do everything with my dad
without me.

- We were just focused
on having a good time,

and life's really not
all about you,

so, I don't know what
you want from me,

[Oo-ing]

[Upbeat Tune]

- I told you what I heard
because I just think

you should have a conversation
with both your son and your nephew.

- Why? Let 'em just
duke it out on the street,

like men.

Girl do you know
how many fights I got into with my cousin?

I lost two silver baby teeth
off a game of Madden.

- Well, they did you a favor.

And you know our son can fight.

- Yeah, you right.

All them bullies growing up,
he had to, [Punching Noises]

He had to go in there.

And we can't send Nate home
with no eye jammy.

- Great, then do something.

- No, I don't have no time

for this Real Cousins
of Chicago mess,

I gotta make some money.

And plus, A.J. needs to learn
how to put his phone down,

and sometimes do things
he doesn't enjoy.

- Oh, okay,

well, when's the last time
you sacrificed some time

and did something you didn't
enjoy with him?

- I don't got to be frolicking
around no fabric shop with that boy.

My job is to provide a roof.

A meal, ah,

and sometimes an occasional
ass-whooping.

- But if you're not
supporting his interests,

then are you really
there for him?

[Light Funky Music]

[Television Audio] With an
amazing earnings' report,

the Artificial Intelligence
Company has hit an all time high,

and the stock is soaring
this morning.

- Let's go!

- Let's go, that's what
I love to hear.

- That's right.
- Sell it, lock up the profit, aight.

[Computer Crashing Noises]

- The Wi-Fi just died
on my computer!

- Uh, the router's
in the kitchen.

[Gasps]
- You saboteur!

- Well good morning
to you guys too.

- Son, what are you doing?

- I was uploading a video
when the Wi-Fi went out,

so I'm tryna figure out
how to reboot the router.

- Okay, okay,
don't lie to us, Judas.

You unplugged the router
just to mess up our deal

because you're a jealous brat.
[Gasps]

- Well in the words
of Charlie XCX, "I'm so brat,"

and I'm so not jealous.

- Okay, enough
with the disrespect,

and the ridiculous accusations,
you two are cousins.

It's time you start
acting like it.

- But, what about our trade?

- Nate, you really think A.J.'s
messing with your money?

- Yeah, not everything's
about you, 'cuz.

- Nate you gotta think,
before you just react.

- I guess you're right.

A.J., I apologize for accusing
you of sabotage.

- It's okay.

You know I threw you some shade
your way yesterday too.

And I'm sorry.

- That's what
I'm talking about, boys.

Family first,
that's all that matters.

And A.J., I promise,

I'll spend some more time
with you, from this day forward.

- Okay?
- Thanks dad.

- So does that mean I can have
that $200? - Hell no!

- You know what, we'll just
use my hotspot.

[Keyboard Clicking]

- The trade closed.
- Okay, how'd we do?

- Uh, not as good as
you might think.

- What you talking 'bout?

- Uncle Al, I have a confession
to make.

I invested some of your money
into crypto last night,

and lost it all.
- Crypto?

Boy you better dodge this coin.

I didn't agree to that.

So you stole from me,
that's what you saying?

- No, I had a plan
to surprise you this morning

with an unexpected profit,
but it backfired. - Nate!

I'm sorry!

- Ugh, investing is
a risky business.

It'll ruin you just like
it'll build you up.

That's why you gotta
be responsible,

and not let greed take over.

- Well I know that now.

And I promise to pay you back.

- Oh, damn right you will.

[Laughs]

- So he really thought
you were just in this for a quick come up?

Oh my Gosh.

- Sis, I am so sorry
that I introduced you to him.

- Oh, Jackie, you did not know,
he was gonna put her in this position.

- Hm, he could put me
in a position or two.

- Friend, no.

- Oh, 'cause he's cute!
- Okay, alright, everybody look.

Now hush up,
I've got a plan.

- Hi, bae.
- Hey.

- There's that lying-ass Lance.

- Well, good afternoon
lying-ass Lance.

- Afternoon everyone.

- I am formally stepping down
as your campaign manager.

- Uh, ladies, you mind if
Lucille and I have the room?

- No, no, no, no anything
you can say in front of me

you can say in front
of my family.

- Yup.
- Tell him Lucille.

- I'm gon' make sure
you lose this campaign,

and I am gonna stop
the construction of that landfill.

- I'm just playing
the game Lucille.

I mean you can't change
things from the outside.

You gotta get in first.

- Wow, wow, by lying
to the community?

Betraying the people by selling
lies and fake promises

for some money?
that's how you get in?

- Mhm, and I'm gon' tell
your grandma.

- I don't give a damn
what you all do.

- What did you say?
- Boy, you done lost yo' damn mind.

- Spicy!
- Hold me back.

- Hey, hey, hey,
don't break a hip.

- Oh, what?
- Oh my goodness.

- That landfill is being built.

And if you all try
and stop me,

I'll send a wrecking ball
flying through this place

while Miley Cyrus plays
in the background.

Try me.

- You are not just gon'
let him walk out of here.

- Nope, lemme tell ya',

our girl Mia over there
recorded the whole thing.

- Oh, Mia!

- Bye Lance.
- That's right.

When city hall sees this,

his campaign and all of those
plans for that nasty landfill

are going to be dead.

- Oh, my friend always got
something under her sleeve.

- And Jackie, I got something
in my bra too.

[Hollering]

- I look at this as payback
for all that

hard work that we did
for that fake campaign.

- Pass it on down.
- Come on now.

And you know that envelope
that he grabbed on the way out?

It was empty.
[Screaming]

- Uh, it wasn't completely
empty.

I slid my phone number
up in there.

- Oh Lord.

[Hooting]

- That's how you play ball.

- You are welcome back
anytime, nephew.

- You know, thanks again
everyone, for letting me stay.

And Uncle Al,

I really appreciate you giving
me the opportunity to better myself.

I wanted to give you this.

[Typing and Buzzing]

- My phone is vibrating.

$1,000?

- Got your money
back this morning.

- Well, well, boy.

Boy, aye, aye.

I wanna thank you
for keeping your word.

That's what I'm talking about,
you know what,

matter of fact,

lemme tell you right now,
here's 500.

Uh, and uh, see what
you can build it up to

by the next time you come
for a visit.

And A.J. here's 500

for you to invest

in your fashion
and your influencer work.

[Giggling]
- Thanks dad!

- I won't let you down, unc'.

And A.J., I'm sorry we didn't
get to spend that much time together.

- Well, there's always
next time.

- [Both] True.

- Well, before I get
out of here,

why don't we create
that viral video?

- Really?
Okay dude,

there's this fun new dance
I've been wanting to do all week.

- Okay.
- Oh yeah.

- So it's gonna be, you gotta
hit one, two,

boom, and then move the knee.

You got that?
[Laughs]

- Definitely not, but I'll try
just...

- Oh wait, first you need this.

- Oh, thanks mom.
- Auntie.

- Get some lighting going.

- Let's do it, so one two,

three, got it,
and then get the knee.

Gotta get all in the knee.

- Look at them, babe.

Dancing for their
imaginary friends,

- Aw.

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