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1
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,454
All right, I've had it.
2
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,390
I'm sick of coming home,
seeing you holding down the couch...
3
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,293
...watching Oprah
and stuffing your face full of bonbons.
4
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:37,665
Now, you either get your lazy ass in the
kitchen and cook me a meal or get out.
5
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:45,573
Come on, Al, Marcie won't let me back
in the house until I have a job.
6
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:49,877
If you kick me out too,
where will I go?
7
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,513
Don't know, don't care.
8
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:57,051
Sure, you working people don't know
how tough it is to find a job these days.
9
00:01:58,052 --> 00:02:00,754
Kelly, I got you another job.
10
00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:11,866
Damn, I'm a good agent.
11
00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:15,536
If I was a hot young chick,
I couldn't keep my hands off myself.
12
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,773
Well, I guess that makes you
a hot young chick.
13
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,778
Just for that, I'm not gonna tell you
who got the part...
14
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,814
...in the next Romantic Roast
commercial.
15
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,984
Oh, please, Bud, please tell me.
16
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,787
Well, she's blond.
She's standing right next to me...
17
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,957
...and she doesn't have a brain
in her head.
18
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:41,128
Could you be
a little bit more specific?
19
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:44,598
-You, you dullard.
-What?
20
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,468
-I got the job? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
-You got the job.
21
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,470
All I did was read lines
at the audition.
22
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,939
I mean, I didn't even have to
uncross my--
23
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,111
My fingers or anything.
24
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,847
Look, you start shooting tonight.
25
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:03,551
Congratulations, pumpkin.
But what exactly is Romantic Roast?
26
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:06,487
It's this brown powder stuff
that when you add hot water...
27
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,522
...it becomes coffee.
28
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,726
I know. I know, I didn't believe it either,
but it's true.
29
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:17,464
That settles it. If someone with
the IQ of a french fry can get a job...
30
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,366
...you can too.
31
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,535
Yeah.
32
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,771
Wait-- Hey.
33
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,639
Now, listen, Jefferson.
34
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,609
I also want you to drive these kids
anywhere they wanna go.
35
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,578
You want me to be a chauffeur?
36
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,012
That's humiliating.
37
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:36,283
No, Jefferson, sleeping
in Peg's couch dust is humiliating.
38
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:39,553
This is just a job
so Marcie will take you back.
39
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:44,592
Look, I appreciate that, Al,
but I can't take money from your kids.
40
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,194
Sure you can.
You're stronger than the boy.
41
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:52,032
Just shake him down
when the girl's not looking.
42
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:59,473
Okay, folks,
Romantic Roast commercial, take one.
43
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:04,345
Yep, Lance, the really cute
building super, is on his way up...
44
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:08,415
...so I've cleverly jammed
the disposal.
45
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:14,421
Yep, I put ABBA's greatest hits
on the stereo...
46
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:19,693
...and, well, of course,
I made two cups of Romantic Roast.
47
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:23,030
I'll let you know how it goes.
Okay, bye.
48
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,336
I'm here to fix the disposal.
49
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,107
Cut.
50
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,914
Very amusing Mike Tyson
impression.
51
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:46,854
This time, could you try it in a register
everyone can hear, not just dogs?
52
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:51,925
And of course,
I made two cups of Romantic Roast.
53
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:55,129
I'll let you know how it goes. Bye.
54
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:01,035
I'm here to fix the disposal.
55
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,642
Cut.
56
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,781
I'm curious.
57
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,351
Exactly what part on Baywatch
did you play?
58
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:21,455
Well, the voice of Lex,
the friendly dolphin.
59
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,558
All right, Lex, you're fired.
60
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:28,295
Okay. Let's just call it a day,
shall we?
61
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,097
Bite me.
62
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,401
Mr. Director...
63
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,337
...look, I think I know
who can play Lance.
64
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:42,109
Oh, I don't think you're right
for the part. You look like he sounds.
65
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,344
I heard that.
66
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,749
Not me.
I'm talking about my other client.
67
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:52,953
Yeah, and put 50 bucks
on Agile Angus to place.
68
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,621
Yeah.
69
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,758
Mr. D'Arcy, I think I can get you a job
in this commercial.
70
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,495
Why? What have I ever done to you?
71
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:05,132
It's a job so Mrs. D'Arcy
will let you back in the house.
72
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,036
Hey, yeah. Maybe you're right.
73
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:13,107
I mean, you know,
it's not really work.
74
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,976
It's acting.
75
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:22,649
And of course,
I made two cups of Romantic Roast.
76
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:26,420
Okay. I'll let you know
how it goes. Bye.
77
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,426
I'm here to fix the disposal.
78
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:35,729
You know, I can't figure out
what happened.
79
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,201
I see this all the time.
80
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,743
Can I thank you
with a cup of coffee?
81
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:56,884
Romantic Roast?
82
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,653
Romantic Roast.
83
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,492
Long after the coffee's gone...
84
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,395
...the romance lingers on and on.
85
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,999
Romantic Roast.
86
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,767
Congratulations, pumpkin.
87
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,103
As you know,
acting careers are fleeting.
88
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:20,240
So you should give me your money
so I can invest it wisely for you.
89
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:24,178
Oh, Daddy, you do love me.
90
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:25,979
I do now.
91
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,052
This commercial is the best thing
that happened to us.
92
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,388
Well, for once, Al, we agree.
93
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:38,625
With Jefferson employed,
our relationship has never been better.
94
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:43,897
There he is. It's Lance,
Mr. Romantic-Roast-Coffee-Guy.
95
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:53,340
Excuse me. Excuse me. But you know,
I'm Mrs. Romantic-Roast-Coffee-Guy.
96
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,478
Only on TV.
97
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,949
I'm the real
Mrs. Romantic-Roast-Coffee-Guy.
98
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:05,219
Oh, you're his mother.
99
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:11,325
No, you twit. I'm his wife.
100
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:15,329
That's impossible. This map to
the star's homes says he lives alone.
101
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,564
Give me that.
102
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:21,235
What lowlife would sell you this?
103
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,472
Two hundred seventy-five, 300...
104
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,307
...350.
105
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,346
Al, you've got to do something...
106
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,449
...about this ruthless exploitation
of our families.
107
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,952
You're right, and I will.
108
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,622
There you go.
109
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:46,159
May I present
the autographed Lance pump.
110
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,863
Price: 79.95.
111
00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:54,167
Price Gary thinks
we're selling it for: 9.95.
112
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:57,571
Let the purse-jacking begin.
113
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:12,319
Ma'am, groping Lance
will cost you 100 bucks.
114
00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:18,926
Grope on.
115
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,195
Jefferson?
116
00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,732
-There you are.
-How did you find me here?
117
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,234
Bud was also selling maps...
118
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:31,104
...to "where the stars are making
whorish public appearances."
119
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:35,776
Did you know that Michael Cane is
down at Orange Julius as we speak?
120
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,744
Why would you sell
your good name...
121
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,614
...to line the polyester pockets
of the lowest man on earth?
122
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:44,184
And you wonder
why stars leave their wives.
123
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:48,322
Look, Marcie,
this is all harmless fun.
124
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:50,991
This is just Jefferson's
15 minutes of fame.
125
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:54,928
Yeah, it will be over
before your hair grows out.
126
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,465
Mr. D'Arcy, great news.
127
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,802
The people from Romantic Roast called
and they want you and Kelly...
128
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:04,037
-...for two more commercials.
-Hey, no way!
129
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,447
Lance, why don't you finish
your Romantic Roast...
130
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,616
...while it's still hot and steamy.
131
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:23,991
Lila, that's not the only thing
that's hot and steamy.
132
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,395
Oh, Lance.
133
00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:32,232
Oh, Lila.
134
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,602
Oh, shoot me.
135
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:42,042
Romantic Roast,
what Juan Valdez drinks...
136
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,845
...when the missus is out of town.
137
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:50,350
Al, don't you see where this is going?
Jefferson is getting famous...
138
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,753
...and more women
are throwing themselves at him.
139
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:56,156
He'll be gone. I'll be all alone.
It will be just like when Steve left.
140
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,992
It's a very scary thing.
Do you understand?
141
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:06,299
Yes, I do, Marcie, and to help you out,
I made a top 10 list of things...
142
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:09,436
...to make you more attractive
for your--
143
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:13,140
For your sex-symbol husband.
144
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:22,616
Number 10, wear traditional Islamic
garb, covering all but the eyes.
145
00:11:23,617 --> 00:11:27,954
Number nine,
feather-removing electrolysis.
146
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,291
Number eight, ski mask.
147
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,495
Number seven,
sew up holes in ski mask.
148
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:41,234
Number six, hire attractive woman
to stand in front of you at all times.
149
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:44,738
Number five, beak job.
150
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:49,176
Number four,
put paper bag over ski mask.
151
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,278
Number three, shave head...
152
00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:54,648
...tattoo Cindy Crawford's face
on back of head...
153
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:58,585
...learn to walk backwards.
154
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:07,794
Number two, poke out eyes
of every man on earth.
155
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:13,266
Number one, get president
to make every day Halloween.
156
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,041
Yeah, I don't understand you, Al.
157
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,009
Although perhaps that's the fault...
158
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:27,180
...of that cow-sized tongue
inside your peanut-sized head.
159
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,484
Hey, do I make fun of you?
160
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:39,025
Doesn't it bother you
that your daughter and my husband...
161
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,294
...are living a soap opera romance?
162
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:42,762
No, Marcie.
163
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,332
But the difference
between me and you, Marcie...
164
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:49,636
...outside the fact that my feet
aren't a Chinese delicacy...
165
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:53,540
...is that I know the difference
between fact and fiction.
166
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,809
Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Dad.
167
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,746
Because I was worried you might have
a problem with this next commercial.
168
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:03,950
-Why? What's in this commercial?
-Well, Mr. D'Arcy and Kelly have to--
169
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,586
-They have to kiss.
-What?
170
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,356
I'll kill him first.
171
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:13,460
Dad, it's only a commercial. One
that's gonna make us a lot of money.
172
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,996
Bud, there's some things
more important than money.
173
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:19,466
Kelly's lips are never gonna go
where Marcie's lips have been.
174
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:26,773
Yeah? Well, my Jefferson's lips
are never gonna go...
175
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,442
...where everyone else's lips
have already been.
176
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,946
That's right!
177
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,682
Hey, what are you hinting at?
178
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:39,019
I'll break it to you later.
Now let's deal with this situation.
179
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:42,355
Oh, well, what are we worried about?
Kelly will never go for this.
180
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:46,159
Hey, did you hear the good news?
181
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:51,965
We're gonna kiss on television.
182
00:13:56,703 --> 00:14:00,707
Jefferson, honey,
can I have a word with you...
183
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:05,245
...in our own kitchen
by the recently sharpened knives?
184
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:10,016
-Goodbye, Lila.
-Bye, Lance.
185
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,454
Kelly, we have to have a talk.
186
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:18,091
As her agent, I strongly advise
my client not to listen to you.
187
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,394
Shut up or it's five across the eyes.
188
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:25,999
Kelly, I've given you
good fatherly advice in the past.
189
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,802
Daddy, you have never given me
fatherly advice.
190
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,671
Then here's some advice
from someone 100 pounds heavier...
191
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:35,609
...with an eight-inch reach advantage.
You are not kissing the neighbor.
192
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:39,546
Daddy, I am grown up. And you can't
tell me what to do anymore, so:
193
00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:43,250
Kelly, I know you're grown up
even though you still live at home...
194
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,620
...and occasionally pick up the phone
thinking it's the doorbell...
195
00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:48,455
...but, sweetheart, look.
196
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:52,726
Why do you think I carry
your baby picture in my wallet?
197
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,961
That's not me, Dad.
198
00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:58,331
That's the picture
that came with the wallet.
199
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:02,335
Hey, when I bought this wallet, I had
a choice. A little boy or a little girl.
200
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:07,474
-I picked a little girl. She's symbolic.
-She's Chinese, Dad.
201
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,344
That's what I was hoping
you would be.
202
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:16,816
Daddy, I'm sorry I'm not Chinese.
I didn't mean it.
203
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:20,353
Oh, sweetheart, all right.
That's all right, now.
204
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,691
Daddy, what is really the problem?
205
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:28,528
Well, because
I wanna keep you pure.
206
00:15:32,666 --> 00:15:37,737
Well, we better call Mr. Peabody
and the WABAC machine.
207
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,607
Daddy.
208
00:15:41,675 --> 00:15:44,077
This commercial is just pretend.
209
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:47,580
And of course I'm gonna stay pure
until I meet the right man.
210
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,187
In the meantime, why don't you
come to the set tomorrow...
211
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,189
...and you'll see how innocent it is.
212
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:59,192
And if you don't like what you see,
you know what you can do.
213
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,395
Beat everybody up?
214
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,165
You are my daddy.
215
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,372
Actors on the set for the reading.
216
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,841
So, what kind of kiss
do you think it will be?
217
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,910
There's only one kind.
218
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,945
Man faces woman, closes his eyes...
219
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,915
...imagines he's with someone else,
just like sex.
220
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,552
You truly are a Neanderthal.
221
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:30,023
I mean, there's all kinds of kisses.
Open mouth, closed mouth, tongues.
222
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,858
Tongues?
223
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,762
The tongue has no place in passion.
224
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,799
Hey, excuse me, Mr. Director.
225
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,802
I'd like to talk to you
about this kissing with tongues.
226
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:46,539
Wrong set. They're casting
Show Boys down the hall.
227
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:51,444
No, no. Kelly's my daughter. I wanna
make sure this kiss is quick and clean.
228
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,848
Oh, well, they're not going to kiss
anymore. We did some research...
229
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,285
...and the audience felt that kissing
after the third date was too '80s.
230
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,289
I'm glad this country
has finally come to its senses.
231
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,392
So, what are you gonna
have them do?
232
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:15,001
What's that bed for?
233
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,971
Oh, come on, Mr. Bundy.
You're a married man.
234
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,639
Yeah?
235
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,176
What's that bed for?
236
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,880
We, in the business, call it sex.
237
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,049
I don't care what you call it.
My daughter's not doing it.
238
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,052
Mr. Bundy,
they're not really having sex.
239
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:37,524
In fact, the commercial takes place
after sex, when they're having coffee.
240
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:43,797
How can someone drink coffee
in their sleep?
241
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:55,308
I'll handle this, Magilla. Look...
242
00:17:56,142 --> 00:18:01,781
...my husband is not having
postcoital coffee with anyone.
243
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,550
I don't care how much you pay him.
244
00:18:04,017 --> 00:18:06,085
How does $50,000 sound?
245
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,022
Quiet on the set.
246
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,759
-Dad, did you hear that?
-I just still can't figure it out.
247
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,062
Sex, then coffee. It's just wrong.
248
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:21,267
Okay, I know you just got
these new lines.
249
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,536
So we're gonna have
a cold reading on set...
250
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:24,971
...and see what we've got.
251
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,445
Good morning, darling.
252
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:36,649
Wow, Lance,
you sure fixed the squeak in my bed.
253
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,252
You're wonderful.
254
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:43,056
So the sex
was good for you too, huh?
255
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,525
No, it was awful...
256
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:49,496
...but the coffee
makes it all worthwhile.
257
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,867
Then you sip, and then you smile
and then we're done.
258
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,668
Great. How do those lines feel?
259
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,338
-Brilliant.
-Encore.
260
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,374
Problem over here. Look.
261
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:06,779
What exactly does she mean,
"It was awful"?
262
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,382
-She means you're bad in bed.
-I am not.
263
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:11,718
Okay, Lance is bad in bed.
264
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:13,820
You don't seem to understand.
265
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,689
To millions of women out there,
I am Lance.
266
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,259
Okay? I can't have them thinking
that I'm bad in bed.
267
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:22,195
Now, how about if I'm good,
and she's bad?
268
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,564
That's the way it is in real life.
269
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:35,542
You're gonna have to
rewrite this script, pal.
270
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,845
We can't do that. See, this commercial
is geared towards women...
271
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:42,348
...and we all know
they can never be satisfied.
272
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,752
-That's true.
-That's true.
273
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,689
Which works for us. Because if men
really were good in bed...
274
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,725
...women wouldn't need
flavored coffee.
275
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:57,163
Look, pal, I'm a real man...
276
00:19:57,363 --> 00:20:01,434
...and I can't pretend
to be anything less.
277
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,374
Marcie, could I have a ride home?
278
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,246
Take the bus
with the other real men.
279
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:18,284
Wait, Mr. D'Arcy. This happens
to older married men all the time.
280
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,456
I've-- I've heard.
281
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:26,492
Well, that's a wrap.
282
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,795
Actors.
283
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,898
Maybe we should rethink
this whole campaign.
284
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,600
I've got it.
285
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,438
Frogs. Coffee-drinking frogs.
286
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,307
Mr. Director, listen.
287
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,643
Before you go with frogs,
hear me out.
288
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,445
Action.
289
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:51,050
Wow, Vance, you fixed the squeak
in my bed. You're wonderful.
290
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:58,858
So the sex was--
What? What's the line?
291
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,627
Good for you.
292
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:04,197
So the sex was good for you?
293
00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:07,133
No, it was awful.
294
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,303
But that's what makes the coffee
all worthwhile.
295
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:14,073
Cut. Cut.
296
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:20,113
So the sex was good
for you too, huh?
297
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:26,052
No, it was awful.
298
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:30,456
Cut. Cut.
Thank you. That's enough.
299
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:34,827
I'm going home. Someone get me
some frogs and some bourbon.
300
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:56,382
So the sex was good for you too?
301
00:21:57,884 --> 00:22:00,119
No, it was awful.
302
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:03,856
But that's what makes the coffee
all worthwhile.
303
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:07,060
Hey, how was that?
304
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,496
Great.
305
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,765
Let's try it again, Al.
306
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,103
So the sex was good for you too?
307
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:19,238
No, it was awful.
308
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:22,909
But that's what makes the coffee
all worthwhile.
309
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:26,713
Well, that was good for me.
Was that good for you, Al?
24642
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