All language subtitles for Married.With.Children.S10E17.Spring.Break.Part.I.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-Azkars_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:15,214 --> 00:01:20,085 Well, frat bros, tomorrow we leave for spring break in Fort Lauderdale... 2 00:01:20,285 --> 00:01:22,855 ...and we show the babes what kind of men we really are. 3 00:01:33,499 --> 00:01:35,067 Hey, come on, guys. 4 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,903 Work with me, all right? This is our big chance to score. 5 00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:41,406 Now, the ratio of girls to guys at spring break is 6-to-1. 6 00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:44,610 That's the same ratio of girls to guys at our college. 7 00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:47,045 We don't score there. 8 00:01:47,412 --> 00:01:50,015 That's because those girls know us already. 9 00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:54,486 See, these girls will be total strangers, and they'll be really drunk. 10 00:01:54,686 --> 00:01:58,457 You are the coolest guy we know. 11 00:01:59,291 --> 00:02:04,229 You have had live sex six times. 12 00:02:06,765 --> 00:02:08,300 You must lead us. 13 00:02:09,535 --> 00:02:11,637 And lead you I will, Achmed. Okay. 14 00:02:13,372 --> 00:02:15,440 We got plane tickets. 15 00:02:15,641 --> 00:02:17,743 We got hotel reservations. 16 00:02:17,943 --> 00:02:19,278 Have we got protection? 17 00:02:27,152 --> 00:02:29,888 -Hummer, what is this? -It's my sister's diaphragm. 18 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,527 You said to bring protection. 19 00:02:35,727 --> 00:02:38,297 I wasn't talking about that kind of protection. 20 00:02:47,072 --> 00:02:48,674 What do we have here? 21 00:02:48,874 --> 00:02:50,809 Who goes, "Bud"? 22 00:02:50,976 --> 00:02:52,277 Who goes, "Weis"? 23 00:02:52,477 --> 00:02:55,147 Who goes, "Er"? 24 00:02:55,347 --> 00:02:59,351 You large-breasted girls think you are so smart. 25 00:03:00,652 --> 00:03:02,688 Guess where we're going for spring break. 26 00:03:03,222 --> 00:03:06,225 -Eunuch school? -Gymboree? 27 00:03:06,425 --> 00:03:08,961 The petting zoo in your pants? 28 00:03:10,495 --> 00:03:11,763 Yeah, you wish. 29 00:03:11,962 --> 00:03:14,497 Hey, we are flying to Fort Lauderdale. 30 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:19,333 And staying in one very cool hotel room overlooking the beach... 31 00:03:19,528 --> 00:03:22,264 ...where large-breasted girls will be arching their backs... 32 00:03:22,428 --> 00:03:25,831 ...to make their breasts seem even larger. 33 00:03:26,393 --> 00:03:31,699 We will be thinking of you when we're rubbing oil on large breasts. 34 00:03:31,893 --> 00:03:34,596 Yeah, maybe Hummer's. 35 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,561 At least mine are real. 36 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,728 -Hey, ours are real! -Hey! Hey! 37 00:03:42,192 --> 00:03:44,328 Come on, guys. Let's go down to the basement... 38 00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,761 ...and plan our babe-scoring strategies. 39 00:03:46,925 --> 00:03:49,161 I'll bring my diaphragm. 40 00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:52,393 Yeah. Cool, man. Let's go. 41 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:56,795 You touch-- Don't even come near me. No. 42 00:04:01,390 --> 00:04:03,025 This is so unfair. 43 00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:05,326 We should be at spring break, not them. 44 00:04:05,524 --> 00:04:08,260 I mean, we're gorgeous, and they're, like, gargoyles. 45 00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:09,925 How do we get to spring break... 46 00:04:10,090 --> 00:04:12,526 ...when everything's booked, and we don't have money? 47 00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:14,592 That didn't stop us from going to Vegas. 48 00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:17,993 -Or Monte Carlo. -Or the Arkansas Governor's Mansion. 49 00:04:20,189 --> 00:04:22,525 I guess that was just me. 50 00:04:23,622 --> 00:04:25,357 Well, we know what we have to do. 51 00:04:25,555 --> 00:04:28,758 We just gotta figure out who we're gonna do it with. 52 00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:56,821 It's your move, Griff. 53 00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:08,188 You know what's really gonna make this game better... 54 00:05:08,352 --> 00:05:10,487 ...is when we learn how to play. 55 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,819 Maybe. 56 00:05:20,585 --> 00:05:22,286 Maybe not. 57 00:05:23,151 --> 00:05:24,786 Hit me. 58 00:05:26,483 --> 00:05:28,285 You didn't say, "Simon says." 59 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:37,119 Quick. I need something I can wear with a bikini. 60 00:05:37,317 --> 00:05:39,552 Well, that would be me. 61 00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:43,419 Something in black that goes with a bikini. 62 00:05:43,616 --> 00:05:45,685 That would be me. 63 00:05:51,548 --> 00:05:53,951 Miss, I'm not complaining or anything... 64 00:05:54,148 --> 00:05:56,617 ...but isn't it a little cold to be wearing a bikini? 65 00:05:56,782 --> 00:06:00,219 Oh, it's not for here. We're going to Fort Lauderdale for spring break. 66 00:06:00,415 --> 00:06:02,317 Help yourselves to shoes, ladies. 67 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,083 We've also got a lot in back. 68 00:06:08,147 --> 00:06:11,116 As do you girls. 69 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:16,152 -Do you take checks? -Checks, cash, kisses. 70 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,548 Oh, spring break. 71 00:06:22,745 --> 00:06:25,014 It must be a beautiful sight, huh, Al? 72 00:06:25,213 --> 00:06:28,683 How would I know? My whole life's been a nuclear winter. 73 00:06:29,712 --> 00:06:32,114 Only way I know it's spring is when the snow melts... 74 00:06:32,278 --> 00:06:34,881 ...and I see my garbage on Marcie's lawn. 75 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,081 -Thank you. Thanks for your help. -Thank you so much. 76 00:06:38,278 --> 00:06:39,546 -Thank you, girls. -Bye. 77 00:06:39,711 --> 00:06:41,313 Thank you. Bye-bye. 78 00:06:41,477 --> 00:06:42,912 -Thank you. Bye. -Bye-bye. 79 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:46,781 -Have a wonderful vacation. -Bye-bye. 80 00:06:55,610 --> 00:06:58,313 Why haven't we ever been to spring break, Al? 81 00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:02,180 Because we, in our infinite wisdom, got married right after high school. 82 00:07:02,576 --> 00:07:04,611 Junior high. 83 00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:08,412 Think of all the things we missed by getting married early. 84 00:07:08,609 --> 00:07:11,145 Yeah. Chasing women... 85 00:07:11,342 --> 00:07:14,345 ...getting drunk and vomiting every night. 86 00:07:14,908 --> 00:07:17,511 Eating Vienna sausages out of the can... 87 00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:21,412 ...over the sink, in the dark, in your underwear. 88 00:07:22,274 --> 00:07:24,710 What were we thinking? 89 00:07:30,774 --> 00:07:32,976 Your turn to roll the dice. 90 00:07:35,373 --> 00:07:36,908 Gee, Hummer... 91 00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:43,346 ...this couch is so small, and your lap is so big. 92 00:07:44,139 --> 00:07:46,775 Is there anyplace on it for little old me? 93 00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:57,143 If it's all the same to you, I'll just sit to the right of the mustard. 94 00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:07,375 You know, it's such a shame, us hitting it off like this... 95 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:11,608 ...and you having to go away for a whole week to Fort Lauderdale. 96 00:08:11,803 --> 00:08:14,472 I don't have to go. 97 00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:17,873 Oh, could you move a little bit to the right? 98 00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:19,972 I think my Pop Rocks are going off. 99 00:08:31,402 --> 00:08:35,773 Well, we just have one teensy-weensy little problem. 100 00:08:35,968 --> 00:08:40,072 My boyfriend just hates it when I sleep with other guys. 101 00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:45,003 Is that your Pop Rocks again? 102 00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:47,937 No, that's me. 103 00:08:57,066 --> 00:09:01,404 Oh, if only I could send my boyfriend away somewhere for a week. 104 00:09:01,567 --> 00:09:05,170 You know, somewhere where there's lots of girls so he won't miss me. 105 00:09:08,532 --> 00:09:11,202 What? Fort Lauderdale, you say? 106 00:09:11,399 --> 00:09:14,569 What a wonderful idea. And you have a ticket. 107 00:09:16,865 --> 00:09:19,201 Okay, meet me here tomorrow at 4:00. 108 00:09:19,398 --> 00:09:21,600 -Yeah. -And don't tell anyone. 109 00:09:21,765 --> 00:09:23,600 I won't. 110 00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:26,700 It'll be our little secret. 111 00:09:26,997 --> 00:09:28,465 So, Ashley... 112 00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:32,334 ...you really wanna spend spring break with me, down in my basement? 113 00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:37,401 Nothing turns me on more than a guy who lives in his parents' basement. 114 00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:40,532 I knew it would pay off. 115 00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:45,201 But first I have to get my insanely jealous boyfriend out of town. 116 00:09:45,396 --> 00:09:49,266 -I'll kill that sucker. -No. 117 00:09:49,462 --> 00:09:52,299 Because if you did, then I'd have to take time away from us... 118 00:09:52,495 --> 00:09:54,397 ...to wear black panties to his funeral. 119 00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:58,399 And you know how I hate to wear panties, Bud. 120 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,597 Hey, I have an idea. 121 00:10:08,694 --> 00:10:13,098 Please to be sending your boyfriend to Fort Lauderdale. 122 00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:18,197 He could use $500 for new clothes. 123 00:10:22,459 --> 00:10:24,795 Okay, guys, let's hit it. 124 00:10:26,992 --> 00:10:28,861 Oh, wait a second. 125 00:10:29,059 --> 00:10:30,327 I almost forgot. 126 00:10:30,492 --> 00:10:33,295 You guys go on ahead. I have to stay back... 127 00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:35,194 ...and feed the dog. 128 00:10:36,192 --> 00:10:39,395 You, sir, are a liar. 129 00:10:39,891 --> 00:10:41,860 And I have to go... 130 00:10:42,457 --> 00:10:46,161 ...to the bathroom, for a very long time. 131 00:10:48,658 --> 00:10:50,393 Okay, guys... 132 00:10:50,924 --> 00:10:52,725 ...I'll level with you. 133 00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:54,659 I'm not going to spring break. 134 00:10:54,857 --> 00:10:56,492 No, I'm gonna stay here with Ashley. 135 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,425 And I'm gonna have more sex with her... 136 00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:02,160 ...than anyone has ever had with anyone since the beginning of time. 137 00:11:04,156 --> 00:11:06,759 That's where you're wrong. Because me and your sister... 138 00:11:06,956 --> 00:11:12,461 ...are gonna have more sex and curly fries than anyone ever. 139 00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:17,926 No, no. Me and Mindy are gonna run up the all-time high score. 140 00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:21,123 You must all leave. 141 00:11:21,321 --> 00:11:26,993 At any minute, Fawn is meeting me here with her large, anxious breasts. 142 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,289 Wait a second. Wait a second. 143 00:11:29,487 --> 00:11:32,023 So we're all getting some right here in town? 144 00:11:32,187 --> 00:11:33,588 What are the odds? 145 00:11:33,787 --> 00:11:35,756 The girls should be here any minute. 146 00:11:35,953 --> 00:11:38,155 -Any minute now. -Yeah. 147 00:11:50,052 --> 00:11:52,588 This is the life, huh, girls? 148 00:11:52,752 --> 00:11:54,820 How come we never went to spring break before? 149 00:11:54,985 --> 00:11:57,922 -Because we never went to college. -Oh, yeah. 150 00:12:00,318 --> 00:12:03,188 Gracias, Hidalgo. 151 00:12:06,651 --> 00:12:07,919 You know what, girls? 152 00:12:08,084 --> 00:12:10,720 The only thing that would make this trip any better... 153 00:12:10,884 --> 00:12:12,986 ...is if we could see the looks on the faces... 154 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:16,053 ...of Bud and those dust-heads when they find out where we are. 155 00:12:37,315 --> 00:12:39,851 Any minute now. 156 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,415 Hi, girls. 157 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,317 Say, we're on live TV. Might wanna put those tops back on. 158 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:12,449 You might wanna put those bottoms on too. 159 00:13:14,112 --> 00:13:16,214 And you with the glasses... 160 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,915 ...you might wanna get off the beach. 161 00:13:20,378 --> 00:13:24,549 You probably recognize me. I'm Dangerous Dan Inwood. 162 00:13:26,844 --> 00:13:30,114 Rock-TV VJ Dan Inwood. 163 00:13:30,777 --> 00:13:33,747 I was on General Hospital two days last fall. Zipper mishap. 164 00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:36,513 -Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah. 165 00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:39,280 You were so funny. 166 00:13:39,677 --> 00:13:40,945 Thanks. 167 00:13:41,110 --> 00:13:44,113 I'm sure you heard that Rock TV and Phi Alpha Delta Fraternity... 168 00:13:44,277 --> 00:13:46,679 ...are sponsoring the big Miss Spring-Break Contest. 169 00:13:46,843 --> 00:13:49,779 Well, we're just here from Chicago to have a good time... 170 00:13:49,942 --> 00:13:52,311 ...and maybe wreck a home or two. 171 00:13:52,509 --> 00:13:55,779 Well, you girls are from Chicago? We need a contestant from Chicago. 172 00:13:55,975 --> 00:13:57,977 -Oh, my gosh. -Call it in the air. 173 00:13:58,175 --> 00:13:59,409 -It's a coin. -You win. 174 00:13:59,575 --> 00:14:01,377 Oh, my God. 175 00:14:04,508 --> 00:14:07,178 Kelly, you're so lucky. 176 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:09,944 It was right on the tip of my tongue. 177 00:14:10,941 --> 00:14:12,976 Kelly? May I call you Kelly? Good. I will. 178 00:14:13,174 --> 00:14:14,975 Kelly, this is an exciting opportunity. 179 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:17,075 Yeah, well, I don't know about this. 180 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,609 See, I consider myself an actress. 181 00:14:19,773 --> 00:14:21,542 I don't know if I could go parading... 182 00:14:21,706 --> 00:14:24,843 ...around a bunch of strangers I haven't slept with yet. 183 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,709 First prize is a hundred thou and a car, Kel. 184 00:14:29,906 --> 00:14:30,940 I'm there. 185 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,574 The snow and ice storm that knocked out power... 186 00:14:35,739 --> 00:14:38,775 ...over much of Chicago yesterday continues to paralyze the city. 187 00:14:38,938 --> 00:14:41,140 Luckily, schools are closed for spring break... 188 00:14:41,305 --> 00:14:43,073 ...and most employees have the day off. 189 00:14:43,272 --> 00:14:44,940 So just about everyone is at home... 190 00:14:45,102 --> 00:14:47,843 ...warm and toasty, huddled around a roaring fire. 191 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:48,305 ...warm and toasty, huddled around a roaring fire. 192 00:15:16,636 --> 00:15:19,338 Throw another clog on the fire, will you? 193 00:15:24,668 --> 00:15:26,303 I thought we burned that phone. 194 00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:29,871 No, don't you remember? We tried. It wouldn't burn. 195 00:15:30,434 --> 00:15:32,069 Hello. Oh, hello, Peg. 196 00:15:32,268 --> 00:15:34,737 Al, is it cold there? 197 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,171 It's as cold as your feet on my back, Peg. 198 00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:41,537 -Where are you? -Oh, I'm in New Orleans at Mardi gras. 199 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,067 It's really warm here. 200 00:15:43,566 --> 00:15:46,502 -Is your dad there, Peg? -Well, how would I know? 201 00:15:46,699 --> 00:15:51,337 There's 10,000 people here, and they're all wearing masks. 202 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,502 So the only one who should be isn't. Goodbye, Peg. 203 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,767 Why is everyone in a warm climate but us? 204 00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:11,501 Oh, come on, Al. Not everybody is. 205 00:16:11,697 --> 00:16:13,466 Hey, guys. 206 00:16:16,763 --> 00:16:20,834 Well, I'm off to spring break in Fort Lauderdale. 207 00:16:21,030 --> 00:16:23,332 Why do you get to go to spring break? 208 00:16:23,530 --> 00:16:25,698 Yeah, you're not a college student. 209 00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,332 You're not a big-breasted blond. 210 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,765 God knows, you're not married to one. 211 00:16:31,762 --> 00:16:34,698 No, no. But I do know one when I see one. 212 00:16:34,896 --> 00:16:38,966 Which is why I'm needed in Fort Lauderdale on official frat business. 213 00:16:39,162 --> 00:16:42,198 I'll be judging a beauty contest. 214 00:16:42,362 --> 00:16:43,863 What's Marcie say about that? 215 00:16:44,061 --> 00:16:46,664 She said, "Have fun at computer camp." 216 00:16:47,427 --> 00:16:51,031 I told her I'd be job training. So if you see her, you'll cover for me, right? 217 00:16:51,561 --> 00:16:53,429 Not a chance. 218 00:16:54,161 --> 00:16:56,730 Come on, Al. This is spring break. 219 00:16:56,927 --> 00:16:59,696 You guys know what that's like, huh? 220 00:17:00,226 --> 00:17:04,430 Well, actually, Jefferson, no. No, we don't know. 221 00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:07,363 Neither one of us has ever been. 222 00:17:09,692 --> 00:17:12,929 This is really, truly sad. 223 00:17:13,225 --> 00:17:16,095 Warm yourself by the fire, Jefferson. 224 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,127 Tell us what it's like. 225 00:17:20,425 --> 00:17:22,027 Well... 226 00:17:22,225 --> 00:17:25,962 ...imagine yourselves in a tropical paradise. 227 00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:28,460 The palm trees swaying... 228 00:17:28,658 --> 00:17:32,929 ...the trade winds softly caressing the hair of the gorgeous babes... 229 00:17:33,124 --> 00:17:37,529 ...bouncing up and down in their micro-bikinis. 230 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:41,760 An ice-cold brewski in your hand. 231 00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:44,659 And everywhere you look... 232 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,859 ...there are nude sunbathers. 233 00:17:48,623 --> 00:17:51,359 And that's before you even leave the airport. 234 00:17:56,655 --> 00:17:58,223 I wish we could go. 235 00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:00,724 Well, what's stopping you? 236 00:18:06,121 --> 00:18:07,956 Nothing. 237 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,891 Oh, well, you will need some cash. 238 00:18:11,687 --> 00:18:14,857 We got cash. We got cash from that sale we made yesterday. 239 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:17,222 Good thing we didn't change clothes. 240 00:18:41,285 --> 00:18:43,354 Hey, they're not coming. 241 00:18:43,552 --> 00:18:45,954 Then I guess I should take off my condom. 242 00:18:52,017 --> 00:18:57,356 I believe it is the bad weather that is preventing the girls from arriving. 243 00:19:00,151 --> 00:19:04,021 Hey, wake up and smell the Slim Jims, Achmed. 244 00:19:04,717 --> 00:19:06,018 They're not coming. 245 00:19:06,216 --> 00:19:08,619 They never intended to. 246 00:19:16,249 --> 00:19:17,817 It's a woman! 247 00:19:21,815 --> 00:19:24,684 Guys. Guys. Hey, guys. Please, back off. 248 00:19:24,882 --> 00:19:27,484 It's only Mrs. D'Arcy. Come on. 249 00:19:31,914 --> 00:19:33,716 Boys. 250 00:19:33,914 --> 00:19:36,683 Reminds me of my college days. 251 00:19:38,447 --> 00:19:39,815 What are you doing here? 252 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:44,618 Well, your mother called from a float somewhere on Bourbon Street... 253 00:19:44,813 --> 00:19:47,816 ...to ask me to make sure your VCR was set to tape Oprah... 254 00:19:48,013 --> 00:19:50,816 ...because you were gonna be in Fort Lauderdale. 255 00:19:51,312 --> 00:19:52,881 But you're not. What happened? 256 00:19:54,212 --> 00:19:55,881 We kind of got taken by some girls. 257 00:19:56,079 --> 00:19:57,480 We're not really sure how. 258 00:19:57,678 --> 00:20:02,083 We gave them our tickets, and now they're not here. 259 00:20:04,845 --> 00:20:10,050 And now, live from Fort Lauderdale, the Spring-Break Dance Marathon. 260 00:20:10,245 --> 00:20:14,482 All proceeds will be donated to CBS to pay Bill Cosby's salary. 261 00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:27,280 -That's our girls! -They're having our fun. 262 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,745 We could be dancing with those guys. 263 00:20:33,543 --> 00:20:35,311 Don't feel too badly. 264 00:20:35,509 --> 00:20:39,946 Girls like that are just cheap one-night stands. 265 00:20:40,142 --> 00:20:42,277 You all should be developing... 266 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:48,148 ...full, trusting relationships, like I have with my Jefferson. 267 00:20:48,741 --> 00:20:53,279 Who even now is away at computer camp trying to better himself. 268 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,308 Mrs. D'Arcy.... 269 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,509 Road trip! 270 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,343 Destination: Fort Lauderdale. 271 00:21:19,272 --> 00:21:22,208 Goal: Swift and terrible revenge. 272 00:21:22,405 --> 00:21:26,409 But it is a blizzard outside, and all the roads are closed. 273 00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:30,509 I drive a Benz, and I'm pissed. 274 00:21:33,912 --> 00:21:36,114 Come, my geeks. 275 00:21:36,915 --> 00:21:39,818 Revenge will be ours! 21318

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