Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:17,445
Great, Carlos.
What time are you gonna come over?
2
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,285
There's no cinco on my watch.
3
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:26,787
Oh, 5.
4
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,989
Oh, okay! Okay, I'll see you then.
5
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,858
"Adidas."
6
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,695
Hey, Bud. I need your help
with a date.
7
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,765
I'm not videotaping anything, Kel.
8
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:42,169
No, I'm finally going out with Carlos.
9
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:46,707
So, what, you need the Spanish
translation for "it unhooks in back"?
10
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:51,545
No, I already know how to say that.
11
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,549
No, the problem is that his cousin
is coming in from the old country...
12
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:59,186
...and the only way that I can go out
with him is if my favorite brother...
13
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:02,990
...in the whole wide world
keeps Esmeralda company.
14
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:04,959
"Esmeralda"?
15
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,294
Oh, that sounds promising.
16
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:10,531
Yeah, a lot of supermodels
are named Esmeralda.
17
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:13,667
Come on, Bud, Carlos is so hot.
18
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,337
Please, I will do anything.
19
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,772
That's public record, Kel.
20
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,810
Look, I'm not gonna dog-sit
Esmeralda.
21
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,547
I'll get you a date
with my friend Fawn.
22
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:31,952
Fawn, Fawn, let's get it on?
23
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:36,724
-That's the one.
-All right.
24
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,527
But she hates me.
25
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,830
Yeah, but she owes me
for going out with her goofy brother...
26
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:45,065
...who lives in the attic.
27
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,869
In the attic? What a dork!
28
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:55,609
Yeah, he'd be a lot cooler
if he lived in the basement like you.
29
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:59,780
Ain't gonna live no more
With no big, fat woman
30
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:03,851
Ain't gonna live no more
With no big, fat woman
31
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:07,221
Ain't gonna live no more
With no big, fat woman
32
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:10,791
Al, don't you think
you're jumping to conclusions?
33
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,094
All Dad said was that he's coming
over here with big news.
34
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,430
What could be bigger
than your mother?
35
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,833
In captivity, that is?
36
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,436
That's probably Ephraim now.
37
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:25,639
Hey, Ephraim, get in here, you old--
38
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,408
Chicken.
39
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:31,946
Sorry, Marcie, I mistook you
for a 70-year-old hillbilly.
40
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:35,482
Well, I'm sure that you get that
all the time.
41
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,285
Al, not even you
could dull my spirits today.
42
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:42,656
Jefferson and I have just returned
from a blissful two days...
43
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,925
...at marriage-encounter camp.
44
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:50,731
"Dr. Richelieu's love compound
and water park."
45
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:54,602
We've never been happier.
Isn't that right, Jefferson?
46
00:03:57,605 --> 00:04:01,642
Love is all I need to make me happy.
47
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,547
Jefferson?
48
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,450
Are you in there, buddy?
49
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,753
What happened to you?
You used to be a man.
50
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,723
I am a man.
51
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,626
Then who's your favorite Stooge?
52
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,061
The Three Stooges are not funny.
53
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:25,699
You know who I think is funny?
That Elayne Boosler.
54
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,137
It's a lot worse than I thought.
55
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:33,941
Luckily, I have something
for such an emergency.
56
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,344
Jefferson...
57
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:40,881
...I want you to get a load
of these Big 'Uns here.
58
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,655
It's all coming back to me.
Moe! Moe, is my favorite Stooge!
59
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:53,927
Those bastards, they almost got you.
60
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,931
Hey, who's the broad in the kitchen?
61
00:04:58,132 --> 00:04:59,767
Well, that's your wife.
62
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,403
How the hell did that happen?
63
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,273
Let's go, Jefferson.
It's almost time for my nooner.
64
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,345
Take two of these,
call me in the morning.
65
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:16,316
Better make it four.
66
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,355
Gee, Al, they seem so much in love.
67
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:24,758
Maybe this Dr. Richelieu could make
our marriage happier.
68
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:28,395
Oh, no, Peg. The only doctor
who could do that is Kevorkian.
69
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,502
Hi, Ephraim.
70
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,575
Come in. You hook up the harness
and I'll Crisco the doors.
71
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,977
We'll pop that little woman
right on out of here.
72
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:47,815
Wait. Wait a minute, Al.
I'm not here to pick up Mama.
73
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,452
I'm taking a trip around the world
with my travel agent.
74
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,587
Wait till you see this.
75
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:58,058
Hey, Pancake,
get your flapjacks in here, darling.
76
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,765
What'd I tell you, Al, huh?
77
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:07,468
Part-time travel agent,
part-time stripper...
78
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:11,271
...and full-time love machine.
79
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:15,809
Daddy, I can't believe
you could do this.
80
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,245
Oh, I could.
81
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,081
You are a married man.
82
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,584
Married? You told me
you were a college student...
83
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,487
...taking a year off
before law school.
84
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:32,626
Now, look at that. I gotta get me
another travel agent!
85
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:36,764
No, you don't. You are gonna go
up there and reconcile with Mom.
86
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,133
No, no, no.
That's not gonna work, Margaret.
87
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,502
We just can't communicate anymore.
88
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:45,639
Well, maybe that's because
you don't have a creamy-nougat center.
89
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,675
Hey, I know.
90
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:55,916
What if we take you and Mom
to this Dr. Richelieu's marriage retreat.
91
00:06:56,083 --> 00:07:00,220
No, no. I don't believe in them
fancy-schmancy headshrinkers.
92
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,122
-It's got a water slide.
-It does?
93
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:06,126
Whoa, I'm there, dude!
94
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,135
I see you're wearing
your easy-access dress.
95
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:19,606
And I see you're wearing
your wonder briefs.
96
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,311
Look, if you still want me to babysit
Bowzer, you better be nice to me.
97
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,680
Her name is Esmeralda.
98
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,417
Yeah, I don't care what her name is.
She's not getting up on the furniture.
99
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,353
I still get my shot with Fawn, right?
100
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:36,056
Yes. She'll be here at 11:00.
101
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:39,893
Just in time to tuck you in and tell you
about her other dates.
102
00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,930
Hey, she can bring her other dates
for all I care...
103
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,332
...as long as I get my two minutes.
104
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:51,305
Carlos is here! Okay, okay, okay.
105
00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:01,181
Hola, Kelly.
You look muy bonita tonight.
106
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:06,353
Thank you. You look
"Bobby Bania" too.
107
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:10,757
How charming.
One of your American jokes.
108
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:13,994
Speaking of American jokes...
109
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:16,163
...this is my brother, Bud.
110
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:21,668
This, this is my cousin, Esmeralda.
111
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,346
Damn.
112
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,119
I'm sorry, I didn't get a chance...
113
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,823
-...to change into some nicer clothes.
-Oh, no. Please don't worry.
114
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,893
You won't be wearing them
much longer.
115
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,797
Damn!
116
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,737
Carlos, Bud and I are going
to his room to play.
117
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,339
We are?
118
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,410
Thank you, God.
119
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:14,888
Well, Carlos, it's just you and me
and this big empty couch.
120
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,558
Yes, but when do I get to meet
your chaperons?
121
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:22,930
Well, soon if you play
your cards right, gosh.
122
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,599
No, no, no. I mean your parents.
123
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,868
Where is your father,
the village shoesmith?
124
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,373
He's with my mother,
the village shopper...
125
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:36,243
...and my Grandmother, the village.
126
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,780
Well, it was nice of you
to have your brother...
127
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,182
...look after my unsullied cousin,
Esmeralda.
128
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,618
Why, she's going to be a nun
you know?
129
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,890
Oh, God! Oh, God!
130
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,827
You see?
They are praying together already.
131
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,100
Welcome...
132
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,837
...to Dr. Richelieu's
love compound and water park.
133
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:07,641
I am Dr. Richelieu.
134
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:11,144
Thank you.
135
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,413
No! No applause, please.
136
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:18,585
Now, I see before me today
many troubled couples.
137
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:25,125
Hey, Daddy, how's Mom doing?
138
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,760
She's still not talking to me...
139
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:30,931
...for lying and saying
I was taking her to IHOP.
140
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,967
Now, I know you all think
your problems...
141
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:38,271
...might be strange or...unique.
142
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,307
But believe me...
143
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:43,877
...I have seen it all
and nothing could--
144
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:47,347
Holy mother of gods!
145
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,919
Well, she's old enough.
146
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,023
And who might you be?
147
00:10:56,223 --> 00:11:00,927
Well, I might be Brad Pitt, but you can
see by the chick on my arm, I'm not.
148
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,597
We're not here for counseling.
149
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,699
We're just here to drop off
my Mom and Dad.
150
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:10,137
Right, so I'll just unhitch the trailer
and bid everyone here a hidy ho.
151
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,006
Hey, wait, wait! Hold it, Al.
I got to talk to you.
152
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,642
Excuse me a minute, darling.
Would you--?
153
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,045
Listen now....
154
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:22,416
I gotta talk to you. It's-- It's Mama.
155
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,251
She's a little shy.
156
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:27,354
Of what, metric ton?
157
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:33,760
No, no, no. I think she's a little
embarrassed to be here.
158
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:36,329
You know, Al, maybe Daddy's right.
159
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:40,300
Maybe it'd make her feel better
if we stick around and participate.
160
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:45,105
Peg, I'd rather go synchronized
swimming with Angela Lansbury.
161
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,776
I'd rather have my neck shaved
by Ray Charles.
162
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:55,215
I'd even rather have your picture
tattooed on the inside of my eye lids...
163
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:58,585
...than spend any more time
with these clowns.
164
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:05,358
Look, Al, you leave now,
and you can forget about...
165
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:08,395
...Mama and I
patching things up here.
166
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,165
All right, I'll stay!
167
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:16,136
But I swear, I'm not touching that bozo
with the big red hair.
168
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,206
Or that guy.
169
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:30,183
I gave my love a cherry
170
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,954
That had no stone
171
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,456
Oh, that was great. Stop now, please.
172
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:40,360
-I gave my love a chicken
-Stop, please.
173
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:44,431
That had no bone
174
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,032
Carlos.
175
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,802
This is very romantic
and everything...
176
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:54,207
...but I too can be strummed
and twanged.
177
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,420
I feel...
178
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,557
...completely refreshed.
179
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:15,195
Hey, sex is a lot more fun
with a live partner, isn't it, Bud?
180
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,564
Oh, you got that right--
181
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:23,303
You know, your petty, little insults
mean nothing to me now.
182
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,007
What's up with Julio?
183
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:31,811
Well, Carlos just likes
to take things slow.
184
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,214
He's a perfect gentleman.
185
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,617
What, no--? No touch? No kiss?
186
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:42,923
Not even my favorite yawn,
stretch, cheap feel?
187
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,893
Guys do that on purpose?
188
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:54,534
Bud, you have rested long enough.
189
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,803
Damn!
190
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:04,277
I gave my love a baby
191
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,680
Yeah, right.
192
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,916
And now for the next exercise.
193
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:13,653
The most important thing
in any relationship is trust.
194
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,256
Now, is everybody blindfolded?
195
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,291
And gagged.
196
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:23,763
-That won't be necessary.
-You don't know the wife.
197
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,500
In this exercise the husbands
will select either good...
198
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,269
...or bad-tasting food.
199
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:33,974
And the wives will trustingly eat
what is offered.
200
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:42,849
Al, I can feel you smiling.
201
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,352
Let's start with the Wankers.
202
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,354
Ephraim, make your selection.
203
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:52,559
Oh, boy. Can I talk to you a minute,
Dr. Looky-loo?
204
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:53,760
Be right back, darling.
205
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:59,165
Listen, I'd like to pass on that
wife-feeding exercise you got there.
206
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,500
Why?
207
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:04,871
Because I have become
very attached to my hands.
208
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,341
If you can't reach out to her
with a Weenie Tot...
209
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:11,544
...how will you reach out to her
with your heart?
210
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,280
Oh, all right.
211
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,548
I'll give her a shot.
212
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,222
Alrighty. Here I come, darling.
213
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:26,159
Here, sweetie. A little Weenie Tot
for you, my little hippo.
214
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,761
Come on, darling.
215
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,195
Here you go.
216
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,598
My finger!
217
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:58,658
Dr. Richelieu,
we need to comfort Mrs. Wanker.
218
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:03,229
She hasn't come back
since the...accident.
219
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:09,636
Accident?! That was no accident,
you slap-shoed son of an onion.
220
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:14,074
She'd have eaten my whole hand
if I hadn't have tickled her stomach.
221
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:18,445
Nevertheless,
Mr. Giggles has a point.
222
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:23,083
Ephraim, go find your wife
and give her some hug therapy.
223
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:27,854
Oh, shut up,
you touchy-feely hug freak.
224
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,259
I suppose you have a better way?
225
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,594
I do.
226
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,963
Men, gather round here.
227
00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,466
I wanna talk to you.
228
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,968
Now listen here.
229
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:46,439
Take your wife on a midnight
stroll through the woods.
230
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,676
Let her ramble on about
how everything's your fault.
231
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,847
Then you say,
"You're right. I'm sorry."
232
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,849
Marriage is fixed.
233
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,218
And they'll never know
that you were thinking...
234
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,587
...about Pamela Anderson
the whole time.
235
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,690
I'll give her a try, Al.
236
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:07,494
Say, what makes you
such an expert on love?
237
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,162
Well, Ephraim.
238
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,831
Call me a hopeless romantic...
239
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:15,001
...but I wanna fall in love
one day myself.
240
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,837
Come on, boys. We're off.
241
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:24,778
Al, why aren't we going to the woods
to save our marriage?
242
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:28,481
Well, you know my motto, Peg:
If it's broke, don't fix it.
243
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:32,652
And this next slide
is a family portrait.
244
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,024
Look at that cute burro.
245
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,760
That burro is my Aunt Maria.
246
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,964
Well, the saddlebags threw me.
247
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,670
Is that a statue of Sally Struthers?
248
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,173
You're very perceptive.
249
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:57,110
She brought much food
to my country.
250
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:01,181
We're hoping the next time she comes
she'll share it with us.
251
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:06,719
I wonder how Bud and Esmeralda
are getting along.
252
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,123
Stop! Stop! You're killing me!
253
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:14,194
She must be telling him one
of her many amusing jokes, huh?
254
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,497
Well, I like jokes.
255
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,165
Really?
256
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:23,670
Oh, then soon you will be smiling.
257
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,106
Okay, a duck, a priest, and Fidel Castro
walk into a cantina.
258
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,976
The duck says to the bartender,
"I would like a cerveza...."
259
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,011
Nice going, Mr. Bundy.
260
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:34,747
It's been one hour,
and still no one has returned.
261
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:38,718
If I wasn't the prophet of love,
I'd give you the thrashing of your life.
262
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:43,423
Thrash all you want,
Dr. Skip To My Lou, just don't hug me.
263
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,828
Thanks, Mr. Bundy.
You saved our marriage.
264
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:51,931
Thanks, Mr. Bundy.
You saved our marriage.
265
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,567
Thanks, Mr. Bundy.
You saved our marriage.
266
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,406
Thanks a lot, Al.
267
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:05,411
Peg, pack your mother's bag.
She'll be moving on out.
268
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,846
Now, wait.
269
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,215
He saved your marriage as well?
270
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:13,152
No, you English muffin.
We're busting up for good.
271
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,121
Well, didn't you do what I told you?
272
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,290
Yeah, yeah,
and it worked out perfect. Yeah.
273
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:20,793
She wants me back now,
then I realized I got these tickets...
274
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:25,031
...for a trip around the world.
So I can take any babe I want.
275
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:28,401
Ephraim, you could have two tickets
around the entire galaxy...
276
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:33,273
...you gin-soaked waffle head.
No one's going with you.
277
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,276
You're going around the world?
278
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,412
I'll go with you.
279
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,449
Bye, baby.
280
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,654
Am I lucky?
Our first stop is Mexico...
281
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,557
...and she's got her own maracas.
282
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,964
Al, this is all your fault.
283
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,465
Everybody!
284
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,439
Then the duck says to the bartender:
285
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:10,109
"I can't believe
you serve Cubans here."
286
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:21,521
-Well, it's about time.
-Oh, you're right.
287
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,256
It's almost Esmeralda's curfew...
288
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:27,126
...and this is the last night before
she enters the convent. Esmeralda?
289
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,264
-Yes, cousin Carlos?
-Say good night to your playmate, Bud.
290
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,652
Goodbye, Kelly.
291
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,522
If it isn't being to forward,
I would like to kiss you good night.
292
00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,559
Sure.
293
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,897
Esmeralda, come.
294
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:12,071
Can you believe that guy?
295
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,874
How dare he not put out.
296
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,744
You know what? I'm gonna tell
all my girlfriends...
297
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:19,512
...and ruin his reputation.
298
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:21,047
Kelly, this is great.
299
00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:22,415
Now, you're desperate...
300
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:25,952
...and for the first time in my life,
I'm not horny.
301
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:29,922
Take me now!
302
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:34,527
That's what I'm here for.
303
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,265
-Fawn?
-Yup.
304
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:43,936
And I haven't had sex
in 15 minutes.
305
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,305
-Let's go.
-No, no, no!
23539
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof