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1
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,806
Anything else I can do
to make your life easier?
2
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:07,608
You could shave your back.
3
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,777
Hey, that hair is there for a reason.
4
00:00:09,944 --> 00:00:12,580
It keeps you off of me at night.
5
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,251
Take a look at...
6
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,621
...my mother-in-law.
7
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:28,028
Al's getting ready to use
the staple gun.
8
00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:37,338
I'm so glad I'm not one of those women
who needs a lot of makeup.
9
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:40,674
Only Tammy Faye, Zsa Zsa
and Bozo use more.
10
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,178
Oh, how about this?
11
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,080
Four Weddings and a Funeral?
12
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:49,250
That's kind of like five
of the same thing, isn't it?
13
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:53,521
Hello, I'm George Plimpton.
14
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,590
Tonight it is my pleasure
to celebrate with you...
15
00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:59,493
...a landmark
in American cultural history.
16
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,263
The 200th episode of a program...
17
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:05,032
...as reviled
by sanctimonious snobs...
18
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,435
...as it is cherished
by the downtrodden...
19
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:12,173
...who feel that their cars have been
towed from the parking lot of life.
20
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:14,608
I speak, of course...
21
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:18,045
...of television's longest-running
original comedy:
22
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:19,914
Married with Children.
23
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:04,325
Every week there walks
through this door a human being...
24
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:07,895
...and America is breathless
in anticipation.
25
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:11,599
Like a colossus, he bears
on his broad shoulders...
26
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:14,168
...the burdens of the common man.
27
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:19,073
And like most common men,
he's usually not too happy about it.
28
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,245
Hi, honey. How was your day?
29
00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:27,481
I came home.
How good could it have been?
30
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:34,655
I wish the world was a fly
and I was a giant rolled-up newspaper.
31
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,624
Here we go.
32
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,994
A fat woman clip-clopped
into the shoe store today, said:
33
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:42,463
"I'd like something
I'd be comfortable in."
34
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,232
I said, "Try Wyoming."
35
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,906
The last thing I remember,
I was down on one knee...
36
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:55,409
...waiting on an overflowing glacier
of a woman.
37
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:59,046
First thing they teach you
when you're a rookie shoe salesman...
38
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:02,082
...is when you got a fat one
in the chair, never look up.
39
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,486
I looked up, Peg.
40
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,322
I saw underwear.
41
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,326
It said "Saturday."
42
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:18,465
-So what?
-Today's Wednesday.
43
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,603
Who is Al Bundy?
44
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,673
He's not just a purveyor
of lady's footwear.
45
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,374
He is Everyman.
46
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,210
We see in him
not only our dashed hopes...
47
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,347
...but also our broken dreams.
48
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,416
Or is it the other way around?
49
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:39,753
In any case, through his sacrifices,
his follies and his failures...
50
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:43,624
...he makes us aware
of just how lucky we are...
51
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,025
...not to be him.
52
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,899
I don't care
what your little ruler says...
53
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:55,769
...I've been a seven since I graduated
from high school.
54
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,738
Well, these are sevens.
55
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:01,809
The box says nine, because, well--
56
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:04,111
Look, lady, you're a nine.
57
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,114
I can accept it, why can't you?
58
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,882
Well, you're very fresh.
59
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,485
No, that's impossible.
Because for the last hour...
60
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,221
...I've been trying to squeeze
your foot into a shoe...
61
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,824
...when I should have been
easing them into the box.
62
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,994
So no, I'd say I'm anything but fresh.
63
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:24,632
You want to tell John Henry over there
to give the $100 pumps a rest?
64
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,968
Your ad says, "courteous service."
65
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,771
But that's not my ad, ma'am.
That's the former owners.
66
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,073
He was killed tragically
on this very spot
67
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,043
...when a size-nine exploded
in his face.
68
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,513
Come on, Arnold. We're leaving.
69
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:41,048
I want a balloon.
70
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,617
You've already got one.
71
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,688
So anyway, Al just keeps going on...
72
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,190
...about how something bad
is gonna happen to him.
73
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,693
And I say,
"Look, it's a simple operation.
74
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,896
What are the odds of
something horrible happening to you?"
75
00:04:56,063 --> 00:05:00,000
Mrs. Bundy, something horrible
has happened to your husband.
76
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:03,504
It's one of those unfortunate accidents
due to simple human error.
77
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,874
It seems our surgical team
misread your doctor's instructions.
78
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,743
It said to give him
a circular incision.
79
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,513
So how could you misread that?
80
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:17,284
We gave him a circumcision.
81
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,202
What?
82
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,140
Well, how much did they cut off, Dad?
83
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,745
By the way, I don't want anyone
talking about this, especially you, Peg.
84
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:48,582
Come on, Al. I'm as embarrassed
about this as you are.
85
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,818
Besides, who would I tell?
86
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,253
Hey, Stubby.
87
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:58,492
"The Best O' Bundy" will continue
in a moment.
88
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,697
This is the seat of power...
89
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,866
...where Al rests his weary bones...
90
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,769
...after a long day at the shoe store.
91
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,905
Like the rest of Al's life,
it's not much...
92
00:06:12,106 --> 00:06:15,776
...but it is his sanctuary,
his fortress.
93
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:19,046
And not a bad place to plan
his revenge...
94
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:23,383
...for it is simply not in Al's character
to accept his fate.
95
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,987
Rather, he lashes out at it
with the mightiest weapon...
96
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,490
...at his disposal.
97
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,258
His mouth.
98
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,093
I don't know why we even need bras.
99
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:36,697
Well, I think it's to keep your breasts
off the plate when you eat.
100
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:48,509
You know, if we put an apple
in his mouth, we could have a luau.
101
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:53,380
No. He's got to go to work tomorrow
and earn that big money.
102
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:59,286
You know who we have to blame
for this whole bra problem?
103
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,256
-Me?
-No. Men.
104
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:06,059
They design and manufacture bras,
not for the bosoms that we have...
105
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,028
...but for the bosoms that they want.
106
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,897
What would happen
if men had breasts?
107
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,299
We wouldn't need women anymore?
108
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:18,839
And if you had what other men have,
I wouldn't need batteries anymore.
109
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:27,381
That's what happened to my Die Hard.
110
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:31,985
Every great man has
his Achilles' heel.
111
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:37,324
Or in Al's case, his Achilles in heels.
112
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,227
Her name is Peg
and she's always there for Al...
113
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:42,396
...much to his dismay.
114
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,998
This bed here is the scene
and the subject...
115
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,534
...of some of their
most heated battles.
116
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:51,205
It's the classic clash
over the question of marital duty...
117
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:53,373
...with a Bundian twist.
118
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:57,311
Now sit up, shut up
and brace yourself.
119
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,946
Oh, wait a second, Peg.
120
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,614
Remember, the kids are here.
121
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,183
Now, if you wanna have sex,
they'll have to leave.
122
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,286
And if you want it to be good,
you'll have to leave.
123
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:13,627
Gee, Al, I don't know about you,
but I'm horny as hell.
124
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:17,965
Well, so am I, but you don't see me
bothering you with it, do you?
125
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,701
What are you getting Peggy
for Valentine's Day?
126
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,436
Fur? Jewels? A car?
127
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,205
If it was only that easy.
128
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,608
I'm going to have sex with her.
129
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,644
Yeah, it's kind of a tradition.
130
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,447
Every Valentine's Day
I climb those stairs, you know...
131
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:38,986
...walk the last mile,
and slam-dunk her one.
132
00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:45,225
It's a spin through hell for me,
but she seems to like it.
133
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:49,329
My tushy was yearning for you.
134
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:54,301
I want to be rubbed by you
135
00:08:55,102 --> 00:09:00,240
Just you and nobody else but you
136
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:03,610
I wouldn't rub your tushy
if Robin Williams popped out of it...
137
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,879
...and offered me three wishes.
138
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:09,616
Nobody loves me.
139
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,792
I care about you, pookie.
140
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,596
Really, Al?
141
00:09:23,297 --> 00:09:25,065
Oh, yes.
142
00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,468
Do I ever.
143
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:31,638
Just seeing you over there
by the window...
144
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,308
...really turns me on.
145
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,947
Come to Daddy.
146
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:44,618
-Oh, Al.
-Oh, God.
147
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:48,555
"The Best O' Bundy" will continue.
148
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,559
Over the years we've watched
Al and Peg grapple...
149
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:56,730
...with the bewildering job
of raising a family.
150
00:09:56,930 --> 00:10:00,300
Growing up, dealing with sexuality,
finding a worthwhile career.
151
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:04,471
If Al can't do it, why should
the kids be any different?
152
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:08,775
Look what they want me to wear
on my next Verminator commercial.
153
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,781
Daddy, I'm afraid
if I keep doing this...
154
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,452
...people are going to think
that I'm all body and no....
155
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:22,022
Mind?
156
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,891
No, I don't mind. Go ahead.
157
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,763
Kelly, Kelly.
158
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,166
An exciting, tempestuous youth
of today.
159
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,035
Where is she going?
160
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,237
What is she doing?
161
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,573
And what is she talking about?
162
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:41,908
Well, Dad.
163
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:46,713
I guess this is au revoir.
164
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,584
Mom, Adidas.
165
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,129
The prostitution rests.
166
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,606
I just hope he doesn't make
a testicle out of himself.
167
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:23,517
Daddy, it is so hot you could
lay an egg on the sidewalk.
168
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,794
You can't be this dumb.
169
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,364
I can be anything I want to be.
It's the '90s.
170
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:42,202
Who could not love
Kelly's childlike simplicity?
171
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,205
Well, there's her brother Bud,
for one.
172
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:49,342
Their charming sibling rivalry
adds yet another lively dimension...
173
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:51,011
...to the Bundy household.
174
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,747
I'm off to the mall.
175
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:57,384
Hey, Kel, I see you're wearing
your love-me-for-my-mind-outfit again.
176
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,620
My little man.
177
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,723
He looks just cute as a bug.
178
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,626
Hey, Bud, you know,
if you had one more arm...
179
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,463
...you'd have a date
for every night of the week.
180
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:13,567
I just thought it was time that I gave
something back to the community.
181
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,637
Well, judging by the lines
at the free clinic, you already have.
182
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:25,378
Good things do come
in small packages.
183
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,081
Well, then you should have him
turn around.
184
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,154
Picture, if you will, a young man...
185
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,356
...in his sexual prime.
186
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,592
Raging with testosterone...
187
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,328
...plying every woman he meets
with his animal charm...
188
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:44,164
...and you have Bud Bundy.
189
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,032
Hello.
190
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:51,271
I know you models are always watching
your weight.
191
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,040
Care for a Bud Light?
192
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,252
I'm sorry, but I think
you've mistaken me for someone...
193
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,854
...who would speak
to someone like you.
194
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,360
Strike one.
195
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,696
Hello.
196
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,698
Allow me to introduce myself.
197
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,700
I'm your new boyfriend.
198
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,204
Well, I'm your new ex-girlfriend.
199
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,509
Reginald Bundy, critic for the Times.
200
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:32,479
You know, I get so few chances
to see films with the public.
201
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,649
This time I want to watch a film
exactly as the people do.
202
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,218
So if you don't mind....
203
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:48,728
We will return to "The Best O' Bundy"
after these messages.
204
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,301
Neighbors.
205
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,236
Where would we be without them?
206
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,738
Resting quietly, one supposes.
207
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,775
However,
this is Married with Children...
208
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,511
...and when Al's neighbor Marcie
comes to call...
209
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,880
...the result is usually
a deafening volley...
210
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:11,251
...of sophisticated bons mots
and witty repartee.
211
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:28,101
Al Bundy,
what do you think you're doing?
212
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,904
Going blind if you stand up.
213
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,975
Excuse me, but doesn't anybody know
this is against the law?
214
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:38,345
So is dressing up a chicken
and calling it your wife.
215
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,949
I am not a chicken.
216
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,685
Why does he keep calling me
a chicken?
217
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,854
Here's something I bet
you haven't heard...
218
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,789
...from a woman in a long time.
219
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,524
Fill her up.
220
00:14:56,096 --> 00:15:01,101
Or do I have to confirm the rumors
and tell you where to put the nozzle?
221
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:05,105
Can you please tell me
what a woman's body...
222
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,507
...has to do with selling beer?
223
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,276
Since men buy beer...
224
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:12,045
...the sponsors have to cater to
what we want, and--
225
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,614
Hold on to your corncob pipe.
226
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:16,483
--we like pretty women.
227
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,718
Ergo, pretty women sell
good products...
228
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,422
...ugly women sell tennis rackets.
229
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,224
Pretty women, cars.
230
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,260
Ugly women, minivans.
231
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,995
Pretty women make us buy beer.
232
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:32,465
Ugly women make us drink beer.
233
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,503
It would be easy to think
of Al Bundy's life...
234
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,672
...as a catalog of failure.
235
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,874
Incredibly easy, in fact.
236
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,842
But in the spirit of charity...
237
00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:45,945
...let us turn now
to a few of those rare moments...
238
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,747
...when, against all odds...
239
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:52,052
...Al manages to snatch triumph
from the jaws of humiliation.
240
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,692
Mr. Bundy.
241
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,227
I'm Bill.
242
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,030
Hello, Bill. I'm Al Bundy.
I'm Kelly's father.
243
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,900
This is some weather
we're having here, isn't it, Bill?
244
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,703
It's funny, but it's almost
1:00 in the morning...
245
00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:12,205
...and you were kissing my daughter.
246
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:23,416
Oh, darn, Bill, it's so late
I thought that'd be open.
247
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,251
There you go.
248
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:32,125
Would you care
to try your luck, Mr...?
249
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:35,295
Bundy. Al Bundy.
250
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:39,099
I like a man who's on top of things.
251
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:42,435
And I like a woman
with things on top.
252
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,270
Tell her, Peg.
253
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,841
Tell her who the good looking stud is,
who has the neighborhood women...
254
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,976
...shaving their mustaches.
255
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:53,213
It can't be. I'm going outside.
256
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:56,282
There's got to be
someone else out there.
257
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,820
What did they say about me?
258
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:04,290
Well, they said you had
the arms of a blacksmith...
259
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,658
...and the legs of a god.
260
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,395
Did they say anything
about my butt?
261
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,331
I was bending over
an awful lot out there.
262
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,400
Did anyone notice? Did they?
263
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,370
-They liked it, Dad.
-Yes.
264
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,620
Touch the tush
that set Chicago afire.
265
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,358
Well, if you don't mind.
266
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,130
And now on to you, honey.
267
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:49,369
Tell me, is that money in your pants,
or are you--?
268
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,004
Well, let's face it.
269
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:54,007
It could only be money.
270
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,009
Yep.
271
00:17:56,176 --> 00:18:00,513
There's another kind of green
in my underwear now, Peg.
272
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:05,919
However, we may rest assured
that our champion of the Everyman...
273
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:10,089
...never will be in danger of achieving
fame and fortune on a permanent basis.
274
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,691
For no matter what happens...
275
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,194
...during the first 20 minutes
of the program...
276
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:19,666
...Al's fate has been sealed
by the evil Bundy curse.
277
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:22,268
A condition which guarantees...
278
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:25,905
...that his existence
will always remain...
279
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:27,807
...a living hell.
280
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:29,409
So long, everybody.
281
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,436
You're flying first class.
Let's act like you've done this a couple of times.
282
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,571
Hey, waitress.
283
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,914
Oh, no.
284
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:13,520
Peg, a bathroom should be cold,
white, soothing. It should say:
285
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,322
"Step up to the bowl, partner,
and make it a double."
286
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:21,361
We go west, past the cheese factories,
where the air is fresh...
287
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,229
...the sky is big...
288
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,798
...and a man can still kill his dinner
with his car.
289
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:31,237
God, you're killing me. No. No. No.
290
00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:34,908
Which one of us
has the firmest heinie?
291
00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:37,310
Oh, I'm blind.
292
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,479
Peg. Peg. Mommy.
293
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,114
Peg.
294
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,252
I can't move my legs.
295
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:47,720
Someone shoot me.
296
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:56,629
Then there are those events
in Al's life that defy classification.
297
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:01,301
Moments that can only be described
as "the best of Bundy."
298
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:04,938
No eat, no drink,
no money have I now.
299
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:11,444
Well, at least there's one thing
they can't take away from me.
300
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:20,420
Al, this is really no fun
unless you join us.
301
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,355
Well...
302
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,591
...okay.
303
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,560
Here comes Daddy.
304
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,667
Al.
305
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,402
Al.
306
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,338
Coming.
307
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,943
It's enema time.
308
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:49,515
Oh, God, I can't wake up.
309
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,420
Help me!
310
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:57,757
So there you have it.
The all-American family.
311
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,626
The Bundys.
312
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,528
Each week they inspire us
and amuse us.
313
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,231
They make us laugh
and they make us think.
314
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:06,599
They are the mirror...
315
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,569
...in which we see ourselves,
warts and all.
316
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,137
Imperfect...
317
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:14,474
...and yet perfect
in our imperfection.
318
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:15,842
Or something like that.
319
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:19,612
They may have their squabbles,
their disagreements...
320
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:22,749
...the occasional
two-squad-car brawl....
321
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,518
...but more importantly,
they have each other.
322
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:29,389
And most importantly, we have them.
323
00:21:30,223 --> 00:21:31,557
I'm George Plimpton.
324
00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:34,661
Thank you, and good night.
325
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:51,077
You know, Peg, it's kind of nice
sitting here like this with you.
326
00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:54,881
How many beers
did you have tonight, Al?
327
00:21:56,249 --> 00:21:57,817
Ten.
328
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:03,756
So I guess we're about a six-pack
short of sex, huh?
329
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,225
At least.
25270
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