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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,883 Steak again, Peg? 2 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:26,754 Well, that's four nights in a row. 3 00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,055 Oh, I'm sorry, Al. 4 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:32,092 But steak is all that Kelly's secret admirer sent over. 5 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:36,197 I thought we had a lobster around here. 6 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,165 Wonder what could have happened to it. 7 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:51,045 No drawn butter? What do they think I am? 8 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:55,115 Bud, would you like some crème brûlée ? 9 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:58,986 -No, I don't want any crème brûlée. -Good. More for me. 10 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,957 Aren't you two curious about who is sending all this stuff? 11 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,559 I mean, some mystery guy sees Kelly on a commercial... 12 00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,528 ...starts lavishing us with presents. 13 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:09,864 -He could be a maniac. -Oh, Bud. 14 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:13,801 Maniacs don't send nice gifts like roses and chocolates... 15 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,837 ...and Chanel No. 5. 16 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:22,510 I, for one, will not gorge myself on my sister's misfortune. 17 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,478 As you say. 18 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,318 Hey, guys. 19 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,159 Guess what my secret admirer brought for me today. 20 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,696 Twelve long-stem roses. 21 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,533 Al, how come you never send me roses? 22 00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,068 I don't like you, Peg. 23 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,107 Anyway, Mom, I was at my audition for Easy-Off Jeans. 24 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:57,211 The jeans so tight, you're the only one who knows you're wearing pants? 25 00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:01,615 Now, this is a nationwide commercial. I mean, all 13 colonies. 26 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,451 So naturally I was really nervous. 27 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:08,422 Then all of a sudden this delivery guy brings me these flowers. 28 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,659 Any pork? 29 00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,962 No, Daddy, but the card said... 30 00:03:15,129 --> 00:03:18,866 ...that my secret admirer is gonna come over here today at 5:30. 31 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,968 Tell him to bring pork. 32 00:03:21,936 --> 00:03:23,771 Dad, don't you know what that means? 33 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,406 He's stalking her. 34 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:28,175 I know, I've done this to women. 35 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,715 I mean, I mean, I know... 36 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,751 ...I watch a lot of Eric Roberts' movies. 37 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:41,622 Budkenstein, first of all... 38 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,826 ...following your hand to bed is not considered stalking. 39 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,067 And second of all, stalkers don't invite you to the opera. 40 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,468 Look. 41 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,770 "L.A. Boom." 42 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:01,175 That's La Bohème, you pincushion. 43 00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:05,479 Mom, are you really letting Kelly go off with a complete and total stranger? 44 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,048 Look, Bud, I am a woman. 45 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:12,152 And we felines have a way of picking the right guy. 46 00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:15,289 That's why nobody has picked you. 47 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:18,492 Now, trust me. I know a Mr. Right when I see him. 48 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,261 Kelly. 49 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:25,532 -Stitch, what are you doing here? -Kelly... 50 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:30,404 ...I fear the chrome on the ball hitch of our love is flaking. 51 00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,141 So tell me, you seeing someone else? 52 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,344 Is there a Kelly Bundy here? 53 00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,513 -I'm Kelly Bundy. -I'm Kelly Bundy. 54 00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,050 Thanks. 55 00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:47,121 Just tell me, Kelly. I can take it. Are you seeing someone else? 56 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,691 Look, Stitch, it's nothing personal. 57 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:54,328 It's just that I found someone who knows how to treat me like a lady. 58 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:59,333 Hey, when we go out to dinner don't I let you talk in the clown's head? 59 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:04,872 Listen, Stitch, what my daughter is trying to say is that... 60 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:14,348 ...she may not be ready for a commitment just yet. 61 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,090 But don't take it personally. Hey, I like you. 62 00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:26,894 If you'd be happy with a friendship, instead of a relationship... 63 00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:29,563 ...you can come here whenever you want to. 64 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,247 I can't believe you guys are cleaning for a total stranger. 65 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:50,684 Hey, you find some rich guy who keeps us knee-deep in steaks... 66 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,720 ...we'll clean for him too. 67 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:57,191 Hey, Al, I think this thing is broken. 68 00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:03,363 Unlike many of your other devices... 69 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,866 ...that one doesn't need batteries. 70 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,004 See, you plug that in. 71 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,407 But where? 72 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,777 Well, I could think of some places, Peg. 73 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,217 That must be Kelly's gentleman caller. 74 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,220 Oh, Al, a limo. 75 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,055 Take me. 76 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,958 Come on. Peg, I just ate. 77 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,194 He's here. He's here. 78 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,235 I have never been so nervous in my life. 79 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,437 I'm on the edge of my feet. 80 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:46,640 Kelly. Kelly. I'm gonna try this one last time. 81 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,010 -Please think about what you're doing. -Okay. 82 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,913 I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm doing. 83 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,391 Hello, Miss Bundy. My name is Robby Bennett. 84 00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:07,194 I believe you're accompanying me to La Bohème. 85 00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:14,968 -You're my secret admirer? -That's right. 86 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:24,344 Oh, you are one cool guy. 87 00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:34,755 Robby, my man. Come on in, buddy. Have a seat. 88 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:38,959 Can I get you a drink? Yoo-hoo with a Bosco back? 89 00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:41,428 A soda would be cool. 90 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:45,666 And for you, little missy, shall I warm your ba-ba? 91 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,837 Get away from me, demon seed. 92 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,905 Excuse me, Opie. 93 00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,808 -Robby. -Of course. 94 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,543 Mom, Dad, what am I going to do? 95 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,913 Well, charm him and conveniently forget to sign the prenup. 96 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,481 Mom? 97 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,284 Well, he's kind of cute. 98 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,653 He's a fetus. 99 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,624 Here you go. 100 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,534 Well, Robby, just between you and me... 101 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,703 ...Kelly always did like a man in uniform. 102 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:26,707 So are you in the Cub Scouts or Little League or anything? 103 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,942 Get over here, dung beetle. 104 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,777 Now, what am I going to do? 105 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:35,382 Okay, just answer me three questions, all right. One, how funny is this? 106 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,018 Two, who the man? 107 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,855 And three, how funny is this? 108 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:51,031 Somehow, some way, I will get you for this. 109 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:55,369 Robby, hi. I think we need to talk. 110 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:59,406 Isn't that cute, Al? They want to be alone. 111 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,314 Maybe we should go outside. 112 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:19,293 Kelly, before you say anything. 113 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:30,771 Would you excuse me for just a second? 114 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,245 As I was saying... 115 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,647 ...you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. 116 00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,817 And I'd like to take you to my graduation dance. 117 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,619 Oh, Robby. 118 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,422 This is all very sweet and everything... 119 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,159 ...but, you see, our love could never be. 120 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:56,763 I mean, it's a maturity thing. I mean, what are you, like 3? 121 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,032 Twelve and a half. 122 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,368 Well, Robby, I can't date a 12-year-old. 123 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:04,938 I mean, sure, when I was 6, but it's different now. 124 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,808 -Do you understand? -No. 125 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,678 -I don't understand. -Well, good, I'm gla-- What? 126 00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:15,415 Do you think I gave you beef and roses just to get blown off? 127 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,517 The Bennett family motto is: 128 00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:21,221 "We see it, we want it, we get it." 129 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:27,594 Well, the Bundy family motto is: 130 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:31,832 "It sees us, insults us, we kick its ass." 131 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,442 Do you know who my dad is? 132 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,611 Sure. Your father. 133 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,447 Well, yeah. 134 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:51,885 But he also owns Bennett Enterprises, which owns Easy-Off Jeans. 135 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,390 So here's the deal. 136 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,760 You're on my arm at the prom and you get the commercial. 137 00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:02,929 You turn me down and I promise you... 138 00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,866 ...you'll never work in this town again. 139 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,673 Bud, you're my manager. 140 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,776 You're supposed to be opening doors for me. 141 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,612 Now, what am I paying you 55 percent for? 142 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:24,084 How was I supposed to know you were gonna start saying no to men? 143 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,121 All right, so you dance with a guy who comes up to your navel. 144 00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:31,058 It'll prepare you for later on in your showbiz career... 145 00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:36,063 ...when you're dancing with Stallone or Cruise or k.d. lang. 146 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:40,967 Well, I guess you're right. 147 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:44,271 I mean, it's obvious that this kid has some power, so... 148 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:46,473 ...I might as well go to the dance with him. 149 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,176 -There you go. -And what's the big deal, anyway? 150 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,611 Lots of starlets go out with younger guys, right? 151 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:55,916 Cher, Madonna, Liberace. 152 00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:59,419 I mean, it's just a junior prom. 153 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:03,323 I can do this with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back. 154 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,493 That's sort of like one of your real dates then, right? 155 00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,933 You're fired. 156 00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:34,287 Whoa, look what Robby brought. 157 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:41,161 She's huge for a sixth-grader. 158 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,165 I heard her talking outside. I think she just got held back. 159 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,337 I bet you they're fake. 160 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,443 -Fun punch? -Groin kick? 161 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,782 Okay, Robby, this is how it's going to be. 162 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,351 You have two hours. 163 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:07,387 No talking, no touching. 164 00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,756 If you ever call me your "main squeeze" again... 165 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,626 ...you will not live to see your face clear up. 166 00:13:13,527 --> 00:13:15,428 Fine. I only have one rule. 167 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,764 You have to dance every dance with me. 168 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,267 -Then do I get the commercial? -Deal. 169 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,835 And wait till you hear the DJ. 170 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:24,271 I found him in one of those hip-hop dance clubs. 171 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,039 I hear he's slamming. 172 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:38,318 Now, you don't mind if I make a few adjustments... 173 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,453 ...to your song list now, do you? 174 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:44,457 Hello, departing graduates of Gale Sayers Middle School. 175 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,727 Hello, Principal Alburton. 176 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,829 Oh, Robby. Nice catch. 177 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:58,738 And now, please welcome tonight's happening rapping DJ... 178 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,041 ...Rockafella. 179 00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:11,418 Yo, yo, yo. DJ Rockafella's in the house. 180 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:15,288 Hold the bus. I know that house. 181 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:19,292 Now, tonight, instead of the usual phat beats and bass lines... 182 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:23,330 ...I thought we'd slow it down a little as a tribute to the Walrus of Love... 183 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,899 ...Mr. Barry White. 184 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,675 Let's dance. 185 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:40,347 -But this is a slow song. -You said, every dance. 186 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:51,691 DJ Rockafella's sending shouts-out to all the players over there... 187 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,693 ...and all the fly honeys over here. 188 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,529 But I'm giving mad props to my boy Robby... 189 00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,665 ...and to his lady of the night. 190 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,470 I mean, of tonight. 191 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,349 Bud, you've got to help me. 192 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:19,152 Hey, I would like to, but you fired me. 193 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:22,322 And I only took this gig to make ends meet. 194 00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:26,459 Okay, okay, you're unfired. Now just get me out of this. 195 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,095 -Play something fast. -Okay. 196 00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,031 But I want 80 percent. 197 00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:34,401 And I want a photo of you and Robby together. 198 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,369 Why? 199 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,039 In case someday I want 90 percent. 200 00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,775 Okay, okay, just-- 201 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,229 You know, Kelly, I have a birthday party coming up... 202 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,865 ...and I bet you look pretty hot in a swimsuit. 203 00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,668 I think I just might keep you. 204 00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:12,872 Look, Macaulay, this is America. 205 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:18,044 And nobody owns anybody in America. 206 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:22,215 Except for maybe the guy who is married to Anna Nicole Smith. 207 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,118 You certainly do not own me. 208 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:29,656 Well, then I guess you don't care about your career. 209 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,793 Not if it means kissing your little Power Ranger butt. 210 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,367 You know, I have a mind to tell your father about this. 211 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,970 Go ahead. My father has no control over me. 212 00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:48,975 I'm almost 13. I do and say what I want, when I want. 213 00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,879 And now, boys and girls, Principal Alburton. 214 00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:55,215 I'd like to introduce a very special guest... 215 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:59,886 ...and the power behind King Robby, his dad, Bennett J. Bennett. 216 00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,424 Hello, son. 217 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,428 Hi, Dad. 218 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,398 -New tie? -Yup. 219 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,967 Same old belt though. 220 00:17:21,975 --> 00:17:24,477 But we'll talk about that later. 221 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,580 Thanks for the phone call, homey. 222 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:32,051 -Word up. -I owe you. 223 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:36,022 Hey, listen, Kelly gets that jeans gig and we'll call it even. 224 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:38,057 Done. 225 00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,260 Let's go, son. 226 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,563 Another time-out, Dad? 227 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:47,500 Maybe. If the belt unravels. 228 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,874 Hey, thank you, Bud. 229 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,876 Any time, Kel. 230 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,779 Hope I didn't embarrass you too much out there. 231 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,450 -It's okay. -Really? 232 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,585 Well, let's try this then. 233 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,522 Now, boys and girls, I'd like to read a little excerpt... 234 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,925 ...from Queen Easy's royal diary. 235 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,699 "November 43rd. 236 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,573 Today I developed a rather embarrassing personal problem." 237 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:33,513 Won't you at least have a pork chop, Bud? 238 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,282 No, I don't want any of your tainted pork. 239 00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:41,120 Does no one but me worry that Kelly's now dating Robby's dad? 240 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,094 The guy's 20 years older than her. 241 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,764 Are you never happy? 242 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:05,211 Thank you for taking me to Madame Butterfly, Bennett. 243 00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:09,082 It's kind of disappointing though. I mean, there was no caterpillar... 244 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,984 ...there was no cocoon... 245 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,687 ...there was no struggle to break free in the spring. 246 00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:17,156 God, you're beautiful. 247 00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:22,996 -Oh, Al, isn't this sweet? -The sweetest. 248 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,500 Anyway, Kelly, I just want to say... 249 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,470 ...that I've really fallen for you these last few weeks. 250 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,705 You're everything I've ever wanted in a woman. 251 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:37,076 You're young and blonde and young. 252 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,413 Will you marry me? 253 00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,922 Would you excuse me for just a minute? 254 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:54,060 Mom, how do you know if someone is Mr. Right? 255 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:57,897 Well, when you're with him do you hear bells? 256 00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,699 No. 257 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:04,037 Oh, it doesn't matter. He's rich, marry him anyway. 258 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,372 -Daddy, what do you think? -Gary. 259 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,875 Yeah. Al Bundy. Remember me? 260 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:12,145 I used to work for you when we were poor. 261 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,348 Yeah, we're moving on up. 262 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,286 That's right, to the east side. 263 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:29,262 Well, how about it, Kelly? 264 00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:32,265 Will you be my wife? 265 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,835 -Well, I-- -Kelly. 266 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,839 Something is still not right. 267 00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:44,110 I can't shake this feeling that there's someone else. 268 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:49,582 But in case our love can never be... 269 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,684 ...I wanted you to have this. 270 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:02,695 Oh, Stitch, you are much man. 271 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,035 I'm sorry, Bennett. 272 00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:14,007 But as the Chinese philosopher Unconscious once said: 273 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,911 "It is better to have loved and lost... 274 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:22,315 ...than to have never seen Lost In Space at all." 275 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:33,960 Well, in seven years she would have been 30. 276 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,032 Think we should tell Dad? 277 00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:42,301 No, I mean, look at him. 278 00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:45,238 When will you ever see him that happy again? 21461

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