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1
00:01:19,453 --> 00:01:22,056
Hear ye. Hear ye.
2
00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:25,256
I now call to order this meeting
of NO MA'AM:
3
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:29,925
National Organization of Men
Against Amazonian Masterhood.
4
00:01:31,253 --> 00:01:34,523
Brother Jefferson will read the minutes
of our last meeting.
5
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:41,190
8:01, 8:02...
6
00:01:41,387 --> 00:01:43,689
...8:03.
7
00:01:44,886 --> 00:01:46,821
The same damn joke every week.
8
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:50,990
Hey, every time Bob Rooney
plays the armpit tuba, you all laugh.
9
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:54,823
Well, that's funny. Let it rip, Bob.
10
00:02:04,986 --> 00:02:09,257
Anyway, last meeting we bitched
about the baseball strike...
11
00:02:09,452 --> 00:02:11,855
...drank beer, peed...
12
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,923
...drank more beer, peed again...
13
00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:17,022
...then hurried home
to drink beer and pee.
14
00:02:18,786 --> 00:02:22,123
Thank you, brother Jefferson.
Now on to new business.
15
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:28,193
As you know, a new member,
our very own Griff, is being initiated.
16
00:02:28,386 --> 00:02:32,590
So, Sergeant at Arms Ike,
would you bring the plebe in?
17
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:41,057
-Rookie.
-New guy.
18
00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:47,491
Now, Griff, you've survived
the other initiation rites.
19
00:02:47,686 --> 00:02:51,056
The purchasing of panty shields
in broad daylight.
20
00:02:52,286 --> 00:02:56,857
The attending of a Julio concert in wig
and matching ensemble.
21
00:02:57,686 --> 00:03:01,456
Are you ready for the third
and final challenge?
22
00:03:01,786 --> 00:03:04,222
Hey, I've got an ex-wife
and I work in a shoe store.
23
00:03:04,419 --> 00:03:06,588
I feel no pain.
24
00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:13,090
Then Sergeant at Arms Ike,
please escort Griff to the bath.
25
00:03:13,286 --> 00:03:17,857
Excuse me. I mean the chamber
of the damned, please.
26
00:03:21,686 --> 00:03:24,322
Hey, Al, are you sure we should put
Griff through this?
27
00:03:24,519 --> 00:03:28,323
Yeah, the human mind
is only made of flesh and bone.
28
00:03:28,519 --> 00:03:29,987
Hey.
29
00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:33,589
NO MA'AM isn't like California.
You can't just walk in.
30
00:03:35,486 --> 00:03:37,888
Our standards have to be tough.
31
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,254
If a man can't stand
a two-hour videotape...
32
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:42,021
...of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman...
33
00:03:42,186 --> 00:03:44,788
...he's not strong enough
to be in NO MA'AM.
34
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,921
Now on to new business.
35
00:03:54,419 --> 00:03:57,455
Men, we have got to do something
about this baseball strike.
36
00:03:57,619 --> 00:04:00,756
-Amen.
-It's affecting the way we live.
37
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,490
Yeah. I had to take my wife
to the beauty parlor.
38
00:04:05,019 --> 00:04:07,688
I had to take my wife to the opera.
39
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:11,289
I had to take my wife.
40
00:04:18,853 --> 00:04:23,524
Make the Indians kill her, please.
Make the Indians kill her.
41
00:04:24,819 --> 00:04:26,655
Now, if the players
don't want to play...
42
00:04:26,819 --> 00:04:29,022
...I don't give a damn,
we don' t need them.
43
00:04:29,219 --> 00:04:31,855
We can play with ourselves.
44
00:04:35,052 --> 00:04:37,388
So the meeting is dismissed?
45
00:04:38,686 --> 00:04:41,055
Ike, go in there with Griff.
46
00:04:47,452 --> 00:04:49,454
So we're gonna play baseball?
47
00:04:49,686 --> 00:04:52,122
-We are.
-Where?
48
00:04:52,319 --> 00:04:54,421
How about Wrigley Field?
49
00:04:54,619 --> 00:04:58,056
Yeah. The Cubs ain't using it.
50
00:04:58,686 --> 00:05:01,289
They weren't using it
before the strike.
51
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:06,522
-Oh, my God.
-They're bathing at the river.
52
00:05:09,653 --> 00:05:12,889
So, what if they don't let us use
Wrigley? It's private property.
53
00:05:13,085 --> 00:05:16,789
Oh, come on. Who's gonna stop
a bunch of great American guys...
54
00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:20,455
...from playing
the great American pastime?
55
00:05:30,618 --> 00:05:33,321
Well, I mean, except for the police.
56
00:05:34,052 --> 00:05:37,589
Well, at least it was great to hear
the crack of the bat again.
57
00:05:37,785 --> 00:05:40,054
That was a nightstick.
58
00:05:42,052 --> 00:05:45,289
But you know, it was good
to get outside and play a little baseball.
59
00:05:45,452 --> 00:05:46,854
We pitched well, we hit well.
60
00:05:47,019 --> 00:05:49,821
And man, Jefferson,
I didn't realize you could run so fast.
61
00:05:51,182 --> 00:05:54,858
Well, you run faster
with a police dog in your back pocket.
62
00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:55,052
Well, you run faster
with a police dog in your back pocket.
63
00:05:56,685 --> 00:05:58,654
Well, well, well.
64
00:05:58,852 --> 00:06:01,221
Hey, Officer Dan.
What are you doing here?
65
00:06:01,419 --> 00:06:03,321
Same thing you do
at the shoe store, Al.
66
00:06:03,518 --> 00:06:06,521
-Waiting for quitting time?
-Exactly.
67
00:06:07,319 --> 00:06:09,254
And it's ribs night.
68
00:06:11,485 --> 00:06:14,922
So, hear you were busted
for climbing the vines at Wrigley Field.
69
00:06:15,585 --> 00:06:16,920
We miss baseball.
70
00:06:17,618 --> 00:06:19,787
I miss good sex.
71
00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:23,421
You don't see me climbing my wife.
72
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:28,055
Anyhow, I came to tell you
you've been sprung.
73
00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:30,321
What? By who?
74
00:06:30,518 --> 00:06:33,688
I am so sick of coming down here.
75
00:06:33,885 --> 00:06:35,921
The wives.
76
00:06:42,718 --> 00:06:46,789
There they are. The roids of summer.
77
00:06:47,418 --> 00:06:50,121
No conjugal visits.
78
00:06:51,652 --> 00:06:52,920
Jefferson D'Arcy.
79
00:06:53,119 --> 00:06:58,491
Now, I expect Al to be involved in some
receding "hair-brained" scheme...
80
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,187
...but what are you in for?
81
00:07:01,085 --> 00:07:06,558
-I was-- I was on my way to a--
-Job interview.
82
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:09,721
--job interview when suddenly I was--
-Kidnapped.
83
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:13,289
--kidnapped by a gang of--
84
00:07:13,485 --> 00:07:15,787
-Chickens.
-Chickens.
85
00:07:23,919 --> 00:07:27,055
But real chickens, not you.
86
00:07:28,385 --> 00:07:32,489
You know, Al, I've thought about
letting you spend the night in jail.
87
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:36,022
Well, thank you.
You know, it's ribs night.
88
00:07:36,652 --> 00:07:38,687
Not tonight.
We have tickets for the theater.
89
00:07:38,852 --> 00:07:42,989
That's right.
Tonight it's Ace Ventura: The Musical...
90
00:07:43,585 --> 00:07:47,489
...starring Nell Carter, Joyce DeWitt
and that guy that played Horshack.
91
00:07:47,685 --> 00:07:49,520
He's Ace.
92
00:07:50,585 --> 00:07:53,588
I confess to killing
a bunch of people...
93
00:07:56,818 --> 00:07:58,987
...and eating them.
94
00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:03,121
Then you've already had your ribs.
95
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,855
Breaking into Wrigley Field.
How else could you embarrass me?
96
00:08:10,051 --> 00:08:13,087
Well, I could pull up the shade
when you're taking a shower.
97
00:08:14,685 --> 00:08:17,054
Daddy.
98
00:08:22,618 --> 00:08:24,987
I am so proud of you.
99
00:08:25,185 --> 00:08:29,722
Now I can tell all my friends my dad's
an ex-con instead of a shoe salesman.
100
00:08:30,185 --> 00:08:32,387
You see that, Peg? She's proud of me.
101
00:08:32,585 --> 00:08:37,423
Yeah. She's also proud
of her shiny, shiny shoes.
102
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,854
They're shiny. Look.
103
00:08:41,418 --> 00:08:43,587
Come on, Peg. So we had a little fun.
104
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:45,819
It's not like anybody knows
about this.
105
00:08:47,185 --> 00:08:49,287
Hey, Dad, look.
106
00:08:52,685 --> 00:08:54,854
You made the headline
on the Sports page. Look.
107
00:08:55,018 --> 00:08:57,420
"Loons invade Wrigley Field."
108
00:08:57,618 --> 00:08:59,220
What?
109
00:08:59,784 --> 00:09:02,220
Damn press.
Look, they misspelled my name.
110
00:09:02,418 --> 00:09:04,921
"Al Burdy."
111
00:09:05,251 --> 00:09:07,587
Al Burdy?
112
00:09:07,884 --> 00:09:10,320
Al Burdy.
113
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,252
I like it.
114
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:14,854
Peggy Burdy.
115
00:09:15,018 --> 00:09:17,253
I really like it.
116
00:09:22,118 --> 00:09:24,620
Hi, I'm Joe Morgan.
117
00:09:30,285 --> 00:09:33,621
-Are you Al Burdy?
-No, no.
118
00:09:33,784 --> 00:09:37,721
I believe the Burdy you're looking for
is the dodo over there.
119
00:09:38,984 --> 00:09:40,920
Peg, that's Joe Morgan.
120
00:09:41,118 --> 00:09:44,054
Kids, that's-- That's Joe Morgan.
121
00:09:44,285 --> 00:09:46,520
Mike Piazza, that's Joe--
122
00:09:46,784 --> 00:09:49,654
Joe Morgan, that's Mike Piazza.
123
00:09:54,251 --> 00:09:55,986
Well, what are you guys doing here?
124
00:09:56,185 --> 00:09:58,720
Just trying to make an honest buck.
125
00:09:59,617 --> 00:10:01,686
And with just about
every sport on strike...
126
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,053
...you guys are the biggest
news story going.
127
00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:08,088
-Mind if I do a little interview?
-No problem.
128
00:10:08,385 --> 00:10:12,889
He tries to sell shoes.
He tries to satisfy his wife.
129
00:10:13,084 --> 00:10:16,788
He does neither. Back to you, Joe.
130
00:10:17,018 --> 00:10:19,020
And who is this lovely lady?
131
00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:21,520
That's my daughter, Kelly.
132
00:10:28,884 --> 00:10:32,488
The redhead here
is her mother, Rodan.
133
00:10:34,517 --> 00:10:37,020
Oh, sure, go ahead, Joe.
Interview away.
134
00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:40,321
-Turn on the camera.
-How does this thing work again?
135
00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:44,188
Turn it on where I'm talking, off when
you think you have something to say.
136
00:10:44,384 --> 00:10:45,818
Got it.
137
00:10:46,018 --> 00:10:49,021
We're here with the leader
of the Wrigley Field break-in boys...
138
00:10:49,185 --> 00:10:51,954
-...Al Burdy.
-That's Bundy.
139
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:55,621
Burdy, let me ask you this. Why?
140
00:10:55,784 --> 00:10:58,020
I've asked him that myself
over the years.
141
00:10:58,184 --> 00:10:59,618
He says he's either too tired--
142
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,621
Pay no attention
to the big red machine, Joe.
143
00:11:06,051 --> 00:11:08,453
Why did we play baseball?
144
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:10,619
For the love of the game.
145
00:11:10,817 --> 00:11:13,420
Just like every American husband...
146
00:11:13,617 --> 00:11:16,453
...it's our right seven months
out of the year...
147
00:11:16,651 --> 00:11:19,220
...to sit on the couch
with a bowl of pretzels...
148
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:22,921
...and a frosty cold one
and watch baseball.
149
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:26,487
Since that right has been violated...
150
00:11:27,584 --> 00:11:31,087
...and the owners and players have not
been able to resolve their differences...
151
00:11:31,284 --> 00:11:36,289
...we just simply decided
to play the game ourselves.
152
00:11:36,717 --> 00:11:39,220
Unfortunately, our audience
might have missed that...
153
00:11:39,417 --> 00:11:43,121
...since the camera's
suddenly shooting Baywatch.
154
00:11:46,651 --> 00:11:49,187
Anyway, Al,
it seems that you're not alone.
155
00:11:49,384 --> 00:11:51,653
Are you aware that a challenge
has been issued...
156
00:11:51,817 --> 00:11:55,788
...by another group of out-of-shape
fat guys from St. Louis?
157
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:59,220
What? Wait, you mean
another team of geezers...
158
00:11:59,384 --> 00:12:01,920
...wants to play my dad's geezers?
159
00:12:02,117 --> 00:12:03,852
Well, that couldn't possibly happen.
160
00:12:04,017 --> 00:12:07,921
-We have tickets for the theater--
-Silencio, Consuela.
161
00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:13,187
Well, Al, do you accept the challenge
from St. Louis?
162
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:18,122
In a word, Joe, abso-freaking-lutely.
163
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,286
There you have it, sports fans.
164
00:12:25,484 --> 00:12:28,720
This year's Major League Baseball
season may be at an end...
165
00:12:28,917 --> 00:12:31,819
...but the game continues on.
166
00:12:36,717 --> 00:12:40,188
I was just trying
my auto-focus thingy.
167
00:12:41,883 --> 00:12:44,319
Baseball is America's game.
168
00:12:44,517 --> 00:12:48,488
It belongs to the people
and the people is us.
169
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:52,521
So I, Al Burdy, say,
let there be baseball.
170
00:12:52,716 --> 00:12:55,586
Let there be life.
171
00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:03,654
You know, I can't believe Dad and
the rest of the Bad News Butt Cracks...
172
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:05,652
...are trying to form
their own league--
173
00:13:05,816 --> 00:13:08,686
Trying to form their own league
and tour across the country.
174
00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:11,819
Well, they did beat Street Louis.
175
00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:17,653
That's St. Louis, honey.
176
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:23,319
I guess this league of his
is gonna be a success after all.
177
00:13:23,484 --> 00:13:26,053
Bud, this is your father
we're talking about.
178
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,120
When has he ever done
anything successful?
179
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,485
Family...
180
00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:39,418
...guess what you're looking at.
181
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:41,685
The sultan of sweat?
182
00:13:43,217 --> 00:13:46,120
That's right, Peg. Charge the mound.
183
00:13:46,883 --> 00:13:49,719
But they're lining up for us.
This thing could really be big.
184
00:13:49,883 --> 00:13:51,385
We've even got a sponsor.
185
00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:53,852
Who would be stupid enough
to sponsor you guys?
186
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:58,021
-Only the wealthiest man in Chicago.
-Michael Jordan?
187
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:03,054
Wealthier.
And my guy can hit the curve ball.
188
00:14:03,449 --> 00:14:07,053
Family, allow me to introduce to you
the owner of our team...
189
00:14:07,217 --> 00:14:09,286
...the Chicago Cleavage...
190
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:13,387
...and the owner
of the best damn nudie bar in town...
191
00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:16,786
...Akbar Johnson.
192
00:14:22,716 --> 00:14:24,885
Greetings all.
193
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,185
Bud?
194
00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:35,986
Your team is sponsored
by a nudie bar?
195
00:14:36,184 --> 00:14:40,121
Yeah. Not just our team, Peg,
but every team in the league.
196
00:14:40,316 --> 00:14:42,785
The Boston Bazooms...
197
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,452
...the New Jersey Nay-Nays...
198
00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:48,686
...the Buffalo Bodacious Ta-Tas...
199
00:14:48,883 --> 00:14:52,053
...and the San Francisco Guys.
200
00:14:54,083 --> 00:14:55,885
And you know
what the best part is, Peg?
201
00:14:56,117 --> 00:14:58,686
Your uniform has a trap door?
202
00:14:59,416 --> 00:15:02,119
If only the couch had one, Peg.
203
00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:04,818
All our games will be away games.
204
00:15:05,017 --> 00:15:07,619
I'll be gone six weeks.
I made up the schedule myself.
205
00:15:08,316 --> 00:15:09,684
Isn't that great, Peg?
206
00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:12,352
You mean, we won't be together
for six weeks?
207
00:15:12,516 --> 00:15:14,051
Yes.
208
00:15:14,249 --> 00:15:17,653
It's like the second honeymoon
I've always wanted.
209
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:21,787
And, kids, I haven't forgotten you.
I have a special surprise.
210
00:15:21,983 --> 00:15:25,520
-We have to go with you?
-Hell, no.
211
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:29,620
No, but if this thing works out, Daddy
will be gone for many, many years.
212
00:15:29,816 --> 00:15:32,853
And there's something very important
I need you to do.
213
00:15:33,216 --> 00:15:34,684
What?
214
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:46,420
Something about this makes me want
to tell old high school football stories.
215
00:15:47,216 --> 00:15:51,921
Well, you're lucky.
I have a sudden urge to read Big 'Uns.
216
00:15:59,949 --> 00:16:01,484
I don't care what anybody says.
217
00:16:01,683 --> 00:16:03,818
This has gotta be the worst job
in the world.
218
00:16:04,016 --> 00:16:06,685
No, I've got the worst job
in the world.
219
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,385
Kelly, it's Bret Saberhagen.
220
00:16:14,249 --> 00:16:17,519
Well, then why does his nametag
say Bobby Bonilla?
221
00:16:18,416 --> 00:16:20,418
He called in sick.
222
00:16:29,082 --> 00:16:31,919
Hey, Saberhagen, is that your
pizza truck in the red zone?
223
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:36,053
If I don't get this here in 30 minutes,
they'll take it out of my check.
224
00:16:36,216 --> 00:16:40,120
At least you get a check.
I get paid in mall dollars.
225
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,218
Danny, can I bribe you with a pizza?
226
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:45,985
Let me check
my security guard handbook.
227
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,051
Yup.
228
00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:52,787
-Hey, wait a minute. That's our pizza.
-Tell it to the commissioner.
229
00:17:28,316 --> 00:17:33,121
Burdy. Burdy. Burdy.
Burdy. Burdy. Burdy.
230
00:17:33,316 --> 00:17:35,218
That's Bundy.
231
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:38,819
Burdy. Burdy. Burdy. Burdy.
232
00:17:56,782 --> 00:17:59,451
-Can I have a break now?
-No.
233
00:18:01,482 --> 00:18:03,617
-Can I have a break now?
-Absolutely.
234
00:18:03,815 --> 00:18:07,619
Thanks. Where the hell's Saberhagen
with my lasagna?
235
00:18:17,782 --> 00:18:19,217
How does this thing work again?
236
00:18:19,415 --> 00:18:23,019
That's it.
Next time, I'm hiring a hockey guy.
237
00:18:25,882 --> 00:18:29,019
A fat woman
came into the shoe store today.
238
00:18:29,782 --> 00:18:32,585
And Bud still looked up her dress.
239
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,517
Yeah, like I could help it.
240
00:18:38,715 --> 00:18:41,785
Her dress, it was everywhere.
241
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:46,019
Hi, Mom. You look nice. How come?
242
00:18:46,615 --> 00:18:49,318
Well, today is the end
of your father's road trip...
243
00:18:49,515 --> 00:18:53,819
...and hopefully the beginning
of his seven-minute home stand.
244
00:18:54,649 --> 00:18:57,618
So, Mrs. Burdy,
this must be a big moment for you.
245
00:18:57,815 --> 00:18:59,384
I bet you miss the big guy.
246
00:18:59,582 --> 00:19:02,051
Oh, yes.
247
00:19:02,515 --> 00:19:05,084
I also miss my husband.
248
00:19:06,182 --> 00:19:09,451
You know, the point is, that when
a man has been gone this long...
249
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,652
...any man,
it's just good to have him back.
250
00:19:19,649 --> 00:19:23,819
Mom, that's not Dad,
that's Dave Winfield.
251
00:19:24,016 --> 00:19:26,318
-Mind your business.
-Mind your business.
252
00:19:36,081 --> 00:19:39,251
Oh, the places I've been,
the people I've seen.
253
00:19:39,448 --> 00:19:43,119
But when you get right down to it,
there's no place like home.
254
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,484
Come to Papa.
255
00:19:46,382 --> 00:19:48,117
Look out.
256
00:19:48,682 --> 00:19:52,452
Oh, Dave, I missed you so much.
257
00:19:53,815 --> 00:19:56,718
We've gotta do something
about this strike.
258
00:19:57,515 --> 00:19:58,816
Welcome home, Al.
259
00:19:58,981 --> 00:20:02,251
It's refreshing to see someone
who plays just for the love of the game.
260
00:20:02,782 --> 00:20:04,484
Well, it isn't just me, Joe.
261
00:20:04,682 --> 00:20:07,652
I mean, kids who play sandlot ball,
do they play for money?
262
00:20:07,848 --> 00:20:11,552
College kids without scholarships,
do they play for money?
263
00:20:11,715 --> 00:20:13,684
Anything you do for love, Joe...
264
00:20:13,848 --> 00:20:15,883
...money should never be
a consideration.
265
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,517
So the fact that Akbar
and the other owners...
266
00:20:18,682 --> 00:20:21,084
...sold the TV rights
for your championship game...
267
00:20:21,248 --> 00:20:23,217
...for $3 million doesn't bother you?
268
00:20:23,448 --> 00:20:27,019
Not in the slightest, Joe.
And I've said this many times before.
269
00:20:27,215 --> 00:20:30,685
I've always played the game for--
Three million dollars?
270
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,250
Does Akbar not take the risk?
271
00:20:33,781 --> 00:20:38,019
-Does Burdy not bring in the fans?
-The owners are going broke.
272
00:20:38,215 --> 00:20:40,150
-Show us your books.
-No.
273
00:20:40,315 --> 00:20:41,750
We're the players. You need us.
274
00:20:41,915 --> 00:20:43,349
We are the owners. You need us.
275
00:20:43,515 --> 00:20:45,684
-Players. Players.
-Owners. Owners.
276
00:20:45,848 --> 00:20:47,483
-Players. Players.
-Owners. Owners.
277
00:20:47,649 --> 00:20:48,950
Players.
278
00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:52,950
Well, it was made official today.
279
00:20:53,115 --> 00:20:55,751
The owners and players
of the National Nudie Bar League...
280
00:20:55,915 --> 00:20:58,450
...failed to reach agreement
on player compensation...
281
00:20:58,615 --> 00:21:00,584
...for the upcoming
championship series...
282
00:21:00,748 --> 00:21:04,818
...prompting yet another in a string of
unfortunate season-ending walkouts.
283
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:09,419
So to recap, baseball is on strike.
Hockey is on strike.
284
00:21:09,614 --> 00:21:12,317
And Saturday Night Live
just won't end.
285
00:21:12,515 --> 00:21:16,085
That's three strikes and we're out.
I'm Joe Morgan.
286
00:21:16,248 --> 00:21:20,619
We now join Filipino slap fighting
already in progress.
287
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:26,119
Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye.
288
00:21:26,681 --> 00:21:28,283
I now call to order this meeting...
289
00:21:28,448 --> 00:21:33,620
...of the National Organization of Men
Against Amazonian Masterhood.
290
00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:37,018
Brother Jefferson will read
the minutes of the last meeting.
291
00:21:37,514 --> 00:21:40,484
-8:01, 8:02...
-No.
292
00:21:40,681 --> 00:21:45,686
...8:03, 8:04, 8--
23163
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