Original subtitles

WE CAN GET A NEW CAT

OK, baby, I think that's deep enough.

Wait wait!

We have to say goodbye to him properly.

I know that look, Kat.

You can light the candles.

So the little chorizo ​​will be reborn well.

Please, protect and guide little Chorizo ​​on his journey.

May he be free from fear and from clinging to life.

Namaste.

My goodness.

His soul is resurrected.

Chorizo, how beautiful!

He is here.

Oh, dear.

Everything is good.

Keep your mouth shut.

OK, a kiss.

- What you up to? - Now who has...

- What are you doing? - I don't know.

We're in the... We're in your mother's garden.

Yes.

Next to your dead cat.

Keep talking.

- Now you're not so cheeky anymore. - No.

Fuck.

Fuck.

But darling, just one night?

One night, and then when you want him out, we'll call...

I don't know who would like him, but he's an interesting guest.

Of course not straight women.

Do you remember what he did to Matilda last time? Bugger me.

The thing is, if he stays overnight, he'll stay the whole two weeks.

And that's how it is...

Hey.

Chorizo? Everything OK?

It'll be weird not seeing him when we

get to the boat, but we can get a new cat.

OK, not a new cat.

We don't need a stupid new cat anyway.

A dog? I love dogs.

A goat? We can milk her, perfect. Chicken?

What?

OK, you're doing this right now, this look.

That look that means I should know what you're thinking.

- I do not know what it is. Come on. - Really now?

OK, maybe I'm just stupid, I don't know.

I think you know exactly what I'm thinking about.

OK, we don't need to buy a new animal.

I don't want to buy anything, that's the thing.

Have you seen what my mother did for our cat?

Oh yeah. Yes. That was...

Did you realize the extent of this woman's craziness?

The genius. You said "om".

She made you say "om"!

- Say it now. - No.

That's what I'm saying, she's incredible, she's unique.

And the thing is, I...

I want my children to meet this woman.

I want my kids to know who I'm talking about

when I talk about this fantastically crazy woman.

So?

Hello?

We've talked about this before, very often.

Yes.

Crap.

You dumbass!

I'll finish you!

Tell Ian it's backwards. This is for plants.

He's become a hipster

tries to attract customers.

- But what kind of bullshit is this? - An ashtray.

Cleaning also works if it is the right way up. I always do that.

I talk to my plants, but they die because I clean them.

I think it works. Rustic and all.

Sure, sure.

A child with an open mouth also works as an ashtray.

I missed you!

But this...

This is so ugly, man. I have to tell you.

It's really ugly. What is that? I mean, why?

Good.

It's like a parking lot for a pussy. Like, here, please.

Please.

- Are you getting any from this? - Sure, of course.

- Those who have poor eyesight. - Where do you find these women?

At the Blind Association.

- Are you blind? - Clear.

- Well then, perfect. - This is Braille.

Braille for everything.

I missed you too. I missed you.

- What's funnier than a dead child? - What?

A dead child in a clown costume.

He is good.

Crap!

Darling, do you like my hat? And do you like the hat?

- Hey! - Hey.

- Hey. - Hola!

That's better.

- You look damn beautiful. - Oh, you charmer.

What is that?

OK, it's a... It's a mustache.

- You don't like him. - He's confusing.

- Stop it. - Is it a mustache or a beard?

- It's different... Shut up. - What is that?

Come on!

Say you like him!

OK, I think he's good. I'm about to hit my head.

Forgiveness.

I can't imagine being your girlfriend.

Nobody can do that.

I will kill you.

- Would you like something to eat? - English food? No thanks.

Are you starving for two weeks now?

Perhaps.

What about Scottish eggs? You like them.

Yes, because they are Scottish, not English.

You're going to be a difficult guest, aren't you?

No, don't worry about me.

I'll look for a hostel tomorrow.

What are you talking about? You sleep here with us.

OK, don't worry. We'll see.

I brought you a birthday present.

- I'll open one, okay? - Yes!

OK, just drink my gift.

I'll buy you a new gift.

It's OK, it doesn't matter. I'm not...

I am tired.

- Just to toast. - A sip. It's really good.

Honey, it's really good.

- This wine is really good. - Yes.

Really good.

He is from Dutifri. Duty Free, you know?

It is a region, a small village in northern Spain.

What are you drinking?

Oh my dear.

Was that enough Spanish for you tonight?

- What is that? - Whiskey.

What language does she sing in? That's not Spanish.

That's really not Spanish.

- She's been trying for four years. - It's up to the teacher.

You don't know how lucky you are.

Baby, say... say, "Where are we?" Say "where". Say "blue."

- "Duendé!" - No!

Yes!

Yes!

- Yes. - Oh my God...

- Everywhere! - I can fly!

- I'll get some water. - It's all ok. I'm here.

I'll hold your hair, your beautiful hair.

Your pretty hair.

Everything OK?

Drinking water.

It all ended up in the piss bucket!

Disgusting.

Here, here, take this.

Yes, exactly.

There you go.

So much tequila!

You smell like tequila now.

Oh, baby.

Yes?

I would be so sexy if I were pregnant.

I would have huge tits.

Baby, I love your tits. They fit perfectly in the hand.

Perfect. Look how well they fit in my hand.

Baby, I'll let you drink the milk.

Clear.

Rather not?

I thought you were a pervert. I don't know.

I am too, it's just that pregnant women aren't really my thing.

Pregnant women are sexy.

I don't know, I've never slept with a pregnant woman before, but...

- I don't know. - But you would do it.

- Yes. - Wait a minute, you ask him,

the guy who would fuck anything with a hole and a heartbeat?

I am not laughing. I want a child.

We live on a boat.

I know tons of people with kids on boats.

- Yes? Have you seen her? - No, you stay there.

This guy who has two kids and a dog and a parrot.

Where would we put it? Oh look, a baby in the sink.

- Where would you put the baby? - In here.

They are growing, they are getting bigger and bigger. They don't stay small like piggies.

- You know, they grow. - Yes.

Then feed it so that it stays small.

- They are growing up and have to go to school. - A bonsai baby.

Sorry, I think having a child is narcissistic.

Wanting a little mini version of yourself running around here.

No, that is right.

Is it narcissistic to put someone else's needs ahead of your own?

- It's selfish to have children. - It's a bit of narcissism.

- Selfish... - I agree.

- Yes. - That makes no sense.

We must... We must multiply for the sake of humanity.

Humanity will be fine without it making your vagina worse.

- No. - In any case.

All these religious extremists who are fucking homophobic are having children.

And we need... sensible, wonderful

people like us to get out of my vagina.

- So that we have balance. - Then she says something.

This is totally... Are you both stupid?

No. Honey, why are you so scared to death of this?

- Come on. It will be fine. - Yes.

- I can't discuss this right now. - You never want to discuss this.

No, you're right, I don't want to discuss it.

But I really want to discuss it.

- You want to argue about it. - No, I don't want to argue about it.

OK? What matters is,

do you want us to do this?

- Can you imagine us doing that? - We?

I want that... I want to see that.

This is absolutely brilliant.

Honey, we would do it with that.

He can give us his little fish.

A fantastic idea. Why didn't I think of this sooner?

Me neither. This is... Are you doing this?

- Would you do that? - Yes.

Yes! Oh my God!

Hello. This is your spiritual awakening.

Morning.

Morning.

You are healed from all your past traumas.

Next train to Mordor, leaving in ten minutes.

Oh, please, stop, baby.

I ask Vishnu and Ganesha and Shakti...

- Fuck Vishnu. Fuck Ganesha. - ...and Shiva, all of them,

about helping you deal with your hangover and cheering you

up on this wonderful morning. It's a beautiful morning.

Stop it, damn it!

Stop it!

Please stop! Crap! No!

No!

Where do we get ibuprofen?

In the first aid kit, darling,

where everything is that is somehow medical.

Honey, the first aid kit. Hello? Over there.

Angry lesbian on the boat.

Red alert.

OK, do you have any psychopaths in the family?

- Yes, my mom. - OK.

What about illnesses, diabetes or something?

Does herpes count? I once had herpes on my tail.

- Baby, is this for me? - Yes, it is, my love.

So, no, it's on your cock, but...

More questions.

Cancer?

No. Not yet.

Very good.

- What else is there? Twins? - Twins? What happens to twins?

Do you have twins in your family?

Yes.

- We were drunk yesterday, right? - Yes, we were.

I mean, I was drunk. I was drunk.

What? So, is this really happening now?

I mean, that's what usually happens when you agree to things.

I said a lot of stupid shit when I was drunk.

OK. Don't talk shit now.

I... I don't talk shit.

I mean, it's just...

It's a pretty big jump, so suddenly, you know?

I mean, it was a drunk yes.

I mean, I was drunk. I woke up with a bad hangover

and you're asking questions about cancer and twins.

Nobody ever wants to wake up to Cancer and Gemini.

That's a good name for a pub, "Cancer and Gemini".

That's a terrible bar name.

It was a drunken yes, but you agreed.

People say yes to things when they're drunk,

which makes them regret it the next day.

I once let a guy put his cock in my mouth.

Was that a good idea? Not really. No, it wasn't at all.

OK. This is crazy.

No wait.

Do you want to talk about it?

- Swear you didn't talk about that. - I swear.

- Never? - Never.

- Why did you play along? - It seemed like a good game.

It's a child, not a game. It's for the rest of your fucking life.

A life together, like in Barcelona back then...

I knew you had this planned, damn it.

It wasn't planned, you idiot. It's not about you.

Asshole.

Eve?

Eve?

Hey.

OK.

Will you stop crying if we try?

Do you do that?

Promised? No more crying.

Not even in films. Promised? It makes me so sad.

I've never seen you like this, darling.

Are you serious?

- Are you serious? - Yes.

OK, can I cry now? No, just a little, with joy.

- No baby. - OK, then don't look.

Baby, stop it!

Do not look.

- Do you want tea? - No. Yes.

- Do you want tea? - No wait. Are you serious?

- Are you serious? - Yes.

Yes.

Please, stop crying. Please, stop crying, damn it.

- OK. - Please, stop crying, baby.

OK. I'm stopping.

I have stopped.

- That would be nice. - I've already stopped.

YOU HAVE NO PERMANENT JOB

Can I... use your cell phone, please?

Clear. Want to ask Chacho for tips?

OK.

Why doesn't he have a cell phone?

Crap.

Come on.

Sounds like he's breaking the damn toilet.

Like he's doing cartwheels.

Crap. OK.

A little bit more.

One more drop.

Move it a little.

OK.

- That's strange. - OK.

- Ready? - Yes.

Yes I am ready.

Let's go.

Hey! Where do you want to go?

I'm curious.

You can be curious out here.

Please. I just want to see if it happens.

Don't get on my ovaries!

- Get out of here please. - OK.

- Go to the supermarket. - I'm going already.

Hey.

- Can you help me with the panties? - Always.

OK, ready?

- No, everything is fine, everything is fine. - OK. Yes.

- OK. - Yes.

OK.

- Very strange. - Yes.

OK.

Is it in there?

- Cat? - Yes, it's in there.

What's happening now?

Now mom wants an orgasm.

I mean, it helps... It helps your

cervix suck the stuff in when you come.

Come on baby. Fuck him.

- OK, screw him. - Fuck him.

OK. OK.

Do it.

Do it to me, baby.

You don't have to send me money for the baby, you know that.

But I want to.

How would you pay for the boat?

I can sell my grandparents' house and... start something here.

Is it a problem if I stay, right?

A problem? No.

You won't be the legal father, so it won't...

Yes I know.

- I mean, that wasn't part of the plan. - Yes.

Hey, did you know that if you don't move the boat every two

weeks, they tow it away, then you're basically homeless. Crazy.

And how do they know that?

They totally monitor it.

But, baby, you get a warning beforehand, it's okay.

I'm just saying, it's not an easy one... It's a big step.

Eva, I don't want...molestar?

- Disturb. - I dont want to bother you.

I understand. It is important for me...

It is important to me that my decision is okay with you.

OK. So, you need my permission to buy a boat?

Hey, baby, come on.

No, you have my blessing.

OK.

- Honey, the rope. - Oh yeah.

Should I go to the other side?

Come on, you skinny boy!

- If she can do it, then you can do it. - But she already has it.

She is so strong and sexy. Look at her.

Baby, you have to help him, he can't do anything.

Do it tenderly, as if it were a woman.

- Do you want to do the other one? - Thanks so much.

You know, I think we should do an induction ceremony like that.

I suggest you empty the toilet today.

Just because you always don't want to do it.

- Keep your mouth shut. - How do I do that?

I'll show you.

You'll love this.

- This shit is so hard. - Why is it hard?

Ta-da!

OK.

- It works like this. - OK.

- You open this. - Understood.

- OK. - So.

Do you smell Eva's shit?

It is wonderful. I love it, baby. You smell like flowers.

I smell lavender and patchouli

and there is also a quinoa top note.

"Our potato is your potato." Do you want one? No?

Good morning "Our potato is your potato."

- Oh cool. - Yes, for you.

- For free? - Sure, no problem.

Have a wonderful day to you.

Good morning

- I think I know you. - Clear. The old trick.

No.

The magic of tricks doesn't matter. Even though it's a trick, it works.

You seem pretty confident.

No, I... I just believe in magic, you know?

Clear. Good luck.

- Crap. Are you all right? - Everything OK?

Do you need help?

It's all ok. It's all ok.

Very funny.

- You smell like pussy. - That's because there was no soap.

- Happy birthday, beautiful one. - Thanks.

This is my mother, Germaine. This is Roger.

Wow, hello.

Oh, you're beautiful.

Yes. They're like an older version of Eve.

But nice.

Well, I mean, both are beautiful. One mother, one daughter.

Nice.

Understood. Let's eat.

- Dude, I told you seven o'clock. - Well, I'm already eating, so...

How about a glass of wine?

No! Not on the candle.

- I'm pretty blind too. - Bottom up!

He's funny. Dear, all the best.

Pachamama.

OK.

Hello.

And... To the new member of our family.

Yes.

To the very handsome new man.

- So... - Spanish.

We don't know if it's a boy. I'd actually rather have a girl.

Oh... Ah, OK.

Ok I'm sorry. Wow.

- Sorry, I thought she knew. - You like girls?

I like girls, yes, but I'm sorry, I shouldn't have...

Would you know?

- I mean, sure, now... - Guess what?

Good news.

So, mom, we're having a baby.

I mean, we're trying.

Hooray!

Oh my goodness!

- Oh, dear. - Oh, mom.

Oh, dear. Cat.

Yes.

Oh. Who will... wear it?

- I. - Crap.

- Naturally. - Infant.

- You can also. I have enough. - I like my vagina the way it is.

I have sperm for both of you.

And you should congratulate him too, because he's going to be the father...

- The donor. - What?

- Yes, he helps us. - The donor?

What?

The soap dispenser.

- Yes, I'm the... Yes. - Yes, exactly.

- You will be the father? - Yes.

So, Roger won't be staying with us.

No. I'm here to give my little fish.

You give your... What?

- My seed. - Ah, of course, yes.

But we raise the child.

Yes... we made a contract.

- A contract? - Yes, well, everything is legal,

everything is sorted out, you know.

- What has been clarified? - The kind of...

Honey, you know your way around.

It just says that we have custody of the child

and he has visitation rights and stuff like that.

Yes. I would like to know how you feel about becoming a father of a child,

- that you won't raise yourself. - So, mom.

OK, shut up.

Wow, that's a good question.

Bueno, I'm...

I'm glad I can help you.

I... I like doing this.

Fine, but what do you feel?

Yes, I will be there for the child.

I'll... be in his life. I adapt.

What about our feelings?

Wouldn't it be easier to do this with an anonymous donor?

- Not for the child. - I can pay for the clinic.

- No way. - I pay, there is no...

- It's really not necessary. - No, pay me.

- I'm not telling you what to do. - But you do.

I am just worried. None of you have a permanent job.

Kat has two jobs. She gets more and more boats to restore.

I have a job.

Don't get me wrong, I think having children is

wonderful and I think everyone should do it.

And I will love being a grandma.

But it all just seems so complicated.

I've already told you that we tried to live in communes in the 70s.

Wow.

I'm telling you, it wasn't just about wearing flowers in your hair.

Everyone... everyone had lice.

Pubic lice. Do you know pubic lice? Everyone had them.

They were so disgusting, jumping from one genital to the next.

And people were scratching and getting scabs and it was horrible.

But what I wanted to say is, we really tried.

We tried to change things.

We really tried.

But you know, at the end of the day, life is the way it is for a reason.

And there's a reason families are the way they are.

One person is complicated, two people, you know.

But with three people, it can just become a disaster.

Honestly, I think your generation is talking a lot of shit.

I think you're trying to remember what it was like to try things out.

What it was like to try to change something, but then you

saw the light and realized you weren't changing anything,

so you became museum directors or members of a shitty reform party,

where you tell each other stories about what it was like in Paris in 1968.

But you know what I believe the damn truth is?

I think you like the idea of ​​rebellion, but you

always knew that sooner or later you would conform.

And now two women are allowed to

start a family, but only if, really only if,

if we reproduce exactly what heterosexuals have always done.

That's what you're saying, isn't it? Yes?

Be a nice, safe family unit that makes money, because all that

matters when it comes to raising a family is the damn money,

so that this stupid system works and makes more money.

You know what, seriously, fuck it, Germaine.

Sorry, baby. I really love you.

I think you are a fantastic woman, you are almost like a mother to me.

I wish I had a mother like you, but I have

to be honest and I think you're talking shit.

Cat.

I love you.

Cat.

I love you even more.

Pachamama.

OK. We'll wipe it off later.

- Pachamama. For the earth. - Pachamama. OK...

- Pachamama! - Can you bring cleaning supplies for this?

This is my bedroom, OK?

Yes! Keep it up! Yes!

Great, you made it.

OK, the main thing is: don't let her go.

She slips out of my hands.

Try again.

I want you to keep practicing this. I'll be right back, okay?

- Thanks. - Gladly.

Stand up. Stand up!

I have to make the bed for my Tuesday lover, so you have to go out.

Wow!

Someone must be awake there.

- You have a boner. - Yes I'm sorry.

While I tried to suffocate you. You are a miserable pervert.

- And you like it. - No, I'm not that into S&M, thanks.

M&M?

You know, your pussy tastes a little like chocolate.

My pussy tastes a bit like chocolate?

Let me think. Where did you get the idea from?

- From your pussy. - From my pussy?

So it tastes like chocolate. Not because I'm a little brown?

- No! - But!

- No! - You are a racist like Hitler.

It's like I just had Hitler in bed.

How about you fuck off now?

- No, that was just a comparison. - Get out. Come on now, get out.

You have lost all privileges. Out. I don't share my bed with a child.

- Then you're the pervert. - I'm the pervert?

Yes.

Get out, you koala! Out!

Or you never fart, but you smell farts all day long.

That's easy!

Yeah, I mean, you choose to smell shit all day long.

- Everything OK? - Yes everything allright.

- Be careful with your... - Yes, I'm careful. Hi.

- Hi. - How are you?

- You know... - Jinx. From the other day.

What?

Shit, I forgot, sorry.

OK, I'll do it right away.

Do you want... Should I go?

- Do you want to help him with this? - Help with what?

- Oh, didn't he tell you? - No.

- Tell what? - We're trying to get pregnant.

Wow.

How he puts in the effort. Wow!

We've gotten used to it.

I'm sorry.

Hey. I didn't know we were supposed to keep anything.

- You probably should have told me. - Yes.

We still have two days left in this cycle, right? I'm sorry.

Yes. Do not apologize.

- I'm sorry. - It does not matter. I feel stupid.

- I'll go. - Will I see you later?

Well, I think you'd better keep your stuff here for your project.

Yes, but how about dinner, or ice cream, or...

I don't like ice cream.

OK, chocolate?

Does this bother you?

No, everything's cool.

Have fun.

Good luck. See you then.

Bye.

- Please. - Thank you, sweety.

No problem, but save the “sweetie” thing for your wife.

But she's not as nice to me as you are.

- I wonder why. - I like a strong woman.

Don't you people have a home?

- No. - Not really.

- Hey. - I thought you had to leave early today.

- No, no problem. - Secure? I can step in for you.

Sandra sits in front of the television and watches her favorite shows.

- Sit with her. - As if I wanted to.

- Alright, see you later. - Good night.

Good night.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, Santa Claus. Wake up and get out of there.

Your reindeer are getting impatient. Come on now, fuck off.

A KIDNEY BEAN

- Eva Carrington? - Yes.

Please come with me.

Only two people at a time, please.

This direction, please.

This is getting a little cold now.

- Oh! - Excuse me.

It's all ok.

OK.

- So you're in the eighth week? - Ninth.

- OK. - We believe.

We'll see that soon.

Sometimes, when it's so early, we need to

do a vaginal ultrasound to see it in detail.

Look.

There we have it.

Looks like a kidney bean.

Do you want to hear the heartbeat?

OK.

There is the face.

It has a face.

It has a face.

Hi!

What?

And?

The thing will burst.

No, this is going too far, dude, too far.

- God bless you. - Thanks.

Save me, sister, my soul is dirty!

Dirty.

Where is Farid? Is he there?

- Hello. - C'est moi!

For a moment I thought I had no competition at all.

How are you doing? A Muslim drinking wine, great.

- Can I get WiFi? - I am a unicorn.

- Fill me up, darling. - Clear. Let's go.

Where is the birthday child?

Do you see the monster in the dinosaur costume?

- I do not believe it. - Yes I know.

Oh my god, she's so big.

- Infant. - Yes?

- Baby, are you coming? - I have to pee.

I'll be right there.

OK.

Can you pour me a drink?

Yes...

Much better.

I thought you had to pee.

I mean, sometimes I feel like she needs me for everything.

Darling, I can tell you a thing or two about that.

Martin can't even brush his teeth without me helping him.

- Hello, damn it, I'm here. - I know where you are.

And I have no problem with that...

Building blocks! Cool, right?

I can help you build something if you want.

Would you rather go back to the other children?

Come on.

Do not worry. You are very honest at that age.

No filters at all.

It is sweet.

I'll put that in there, okay?

Eve? Come here.

Come on, people.

Come with me.

OK.

We're jungle animals, right?

Quack, quack!

Eve will be the lion in my place.

Show me a lion.

Too nice lion.

Animals, do you buy that from this lion?

- No. - No.

How is that possible?

Just look.

- Here's one that's cheaper. - Yes, 800 pounds.

Yes, but it's cheaper. It can be rebuilt, it is modular,

you can continue to use it as the child grows up.

Yes, can it be converted into a Prius?

Yes, it is expensive.

Can I help you?

- Hi. - No.

- No, we're just looking. - Yes.

- Browse. - We're just browsing.

Maybe we want something a little more vintage.

Vintage? OK, is this your first time with us?

OK. Yes.

I know that couples are often intimidated when

they first see how expensive everything is,

but that's what we're here for, to make it all a little easier.

The most important thing is planning and wanting the best for your child.

Is your wife good at planning ahead?

Oh, my husband is more of a planner in the family.

He is the secretary to the Spanish Minister of Infrastructure.

Yes.

I am an extraordinary planner.

I don't miss anything.

Well then, maybe we'll use a slightly smaller model

for you to start with. It has everything you need...

And for changing diapers,

we can... build a table like this,

but attach it to the wall

- and then a pole... - A fold-out table like that?

- Exactly. And then you have more space. - This is true.

- Yes. - That's really good.

- Here, no, but this... - And we can use the area here...

We don't need that, we can use this area here.

Yeah, let's just put all this shit away.

We can do all this stuff... We can have a flea market.

We can have a flea market and make some money.

New life. Place.

The piano, we can sell the piano.

- Definitely, we don't need that. - Yes, you need this,

you have to teach our child to play the piano.

- No. Yes, if... - Please.

Yes, but hopefully by then we will have...

Play something.

OK.

It's good for the... for the child.

OK.

I...

- OK, this is my favorite song. - Wow. OK.

- OK? - OK.

Not bad.

Therefore never cry for me

With a banjo on his knee

- Very good. - Yes.

- OK, you play something. - No.

- Yes, play and I'll follow you. - I can't...

- We can... I'll accompany your... - OK.

- ...intuitive melody. - You're with me.

- OK. - And four hands.

Four hands? Two heads. Four feet.

And a mug.

- OK. - OK.

You have to go.

Where to go?

Back to Barcelona.

No.

No.

I mean, what? Why?

- Roger, today was perfect. - Yes.

- It was wonderful. - Yes. Very funny.

That's exactly what I want.

- And? - I want that with Kat.

But she doesn't want it.

I am sorry but...

...she does not want it.

Yes, but if you're here, she doesn't have to work on it.

It is unfair.

Yes, it's not, but it is...

- It's complicated, OK? - No.

- That's it. - It's not complicated.

Yes it is. It's a fight that's already...

It's like a lifelong battle that has lasted for years.

And I'm so close, Roger, I'm so close, I'm almost there.

- Yes. - I feel that if she just...

- ...developed... - Yes, I understand.

- But if you're here, then... - Yeah, sure.

- Then she bears no responsibility. - Naturally.

You need me to jerk off, and now, like, I have a baby.

So go, please. You do not need me. Right?

- No, I'm not saying that. - Yes it is?

No, that's really not what I said.

I... I want this child. It is also my child.

- I want it so bad, damn it. - Yes, but you are not the father.

It was never meant to be you as the father.

Yes, but you needed me to get Kat to agree, right? And now it's real.

I'm sorry.

Are you awake?

No, I'm sleeping.

Sorry, it was really busy.

Did you get my SMS?

Yes, and Ian wasn't doing so well. He's such an old fart.

I'm glad you can now take care of

your boss's feelings and his health.

What does that mean now?

- Where have you been? - On the way.

You could have said something.

What's up?

I'm going back to Barcelona.

What, you're going to Barcelona?

Why?

Are you leaving me here with this crap?

With the crap or with the child?

With the crap or child?

Or do you then call him crap?

You're going to be a mother.

Do you even care?

You're going to be a mother.

Do you understand that or not?

You don't deserve to be a mother, you know that?

Look at me when I talk to you.

Look at me, damn it.

- Look at me and stop that shit! - Age!

Leave this damn wood.

What are you doing? I worked on it all day!

- Go get it! - What are you doing?

Go get it immediately.

Infant.

Infant.

Are you all right?

Are you all right?

How...

I just started bleeding.

I am so sorry. I'm so sorry we weren't there.

How long do you have to stay here? Can I take you home?

I'm just waiting for a few tests to see if my uterus is OK then I can go.

Do you think everything is OK? Have they told you anything?

Why don't you ask her?

Ok I do.

Yes. Do you need anything? Tea? No? OK.

Can I stay with you?

Baby, come in. Come on. It's cold.

Hello! I'm Harry. I'm the selfish baby.

Don't take it personally, it's not your fault. Real. Is not it!

It is his fault.

Excuse me?

It is your fault.

- My fault? - Yes!

You fucking asshole, stupid asshole, yeah!

Pooh! Look at him! He's terrible.

Can you imagine him as a little girl, with his eyebrows?

No thanks.

I don't want that stupid father, or uncle, or whatever.

It's better not to be born...

So, I want those

Establish International Association of Unborn Babies. Babies!

It was almost funny.

Do you want some whiskey?

Can I get you anything? Should I make you some tea or...

I do not know what to do. Please say something, anything.

I... We really want to help you.

Whatever you want. What do you want, darling?

I just want you to be sad.

I'm sad. I drink whiskey in broad daylight. I'm sad.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, darling. I am so sorry.

That is it. It didn't happen to me.

It happened to us.

OK, I didn't mean it like that. I...

Please don't put that word in my mouth. I did not mean that.

We can try again.

Poor Roger.

Please don't be like that. I want to help you, okay?

So you... Whatever you need, just tell me and I'll do it, OK?

What do you need?

Hey, baby.

What do you need?

Hey.

I have to break up with you.

What?

Now where the hell did this come from? We don't have to separate.

- We screwed up. - No. What are you talking about? We...

This is our lives, damn it, and things happen, but...

- I can help. - We want different things

and you don't understand.

You don't understand and I'm really sorry.

We can do this. Whatever it is, we'll definitely get it done.

Just tell me what to do and then I'll do it.

- I do it. - I'm tired of telling you this.

Are you serious? You just leave?

You know, I've never been so lonely as I have been these last few months.

I'm so sorry you felt so lonely. I will help you.

I'll make it up to you. No matter what. I will...

Baby, where are you going? Why is this happening?

You don't just leave. You can't just leave.

That's crazy. It's crazy. You're feeling really bad.

- You have to let me go. - You feel like shit

and you don't think... you can't think straight, baby.

Shut up! Damned!

OK I am sorry. I did not mean that.

I want you to be really honest with yourself now.

Yes.

- Brutally honest. - Yes.

And tell me that you never, not even for a second

wished something like that would happen.

Treasure.

- Nothing left to say. - Baby, please, don't go.

Baby, please, don't go.

Infant.

BUT NOW YOU ARE HERE

Are you okay, love?

It's so strange being in this room again without all my stuff.

I'm currently thinking about painting it.

- Cancel? - Yes.

The whole house could use some paint. When was the last time you did it?

I saw a bunch of stuff that needed repair.

The door handles in some rooms are loose. And the garden...

- I can... - You?

- Choose the colors, it will be fun. - Excuse me.

And then in the afternoon, you know, we can

Check out a few art exhibitions and go to the theater.

I haven't been to the theater in ages.

Oh, sweetie.

You can stay here as long as you want, but you can't move in.

- I'm not moving back in. - Of course you won't move back in.

That is what I said. That's why I'm going to help you put your

books back in the boxes where they live. Put your books in the box.

“Put your books in the box,” but that sounds outrageous.

Do you want to... throw me out?

No, I'm not throwing you out, I just find it a bit depressing

for a girl your age to live with her mother. I mean, for you.

Yes. Everything is not as I expected.

No. It's not what I expected either.

I didn't expect you to come here.

The eternal problem with expectations. You know what?

You taught me that.

I have two dark eyes here

Who will take it from me?

For sale because they are so deceptive

Because they hurt me so much

Those dark eyes, so insidious

Why are you looking at me like that?

Such joy for others

And for me, just misery

The longer I long

The more my love grows

And I spend my nights

Craving for your love

The longer I long

The more my love grows

And I spend my nights...

What's up?

I miss chorizo.

Don't laugh, dude.

Do you miss chorizo?

- Yes. - Yes?

When we just bought the piano...

He played with me, dude.

He jumped up here and then went out the window.

Do not Cry. Was he a pianist cat? I thought he was disabled.

- That's why I loved him, dude. - "Because he was like me, dude."

Chorizo.

He played so well. He jumped up here to me.

I once had a kitten

That couldn't swim

But because he was disabled

He always jumped into the water

My chorizo

Chorizo ​​the fool

Every night he went behind the couch

To piss there

My chorizo

- OK, that's enough. - Chorizo...

It is enough.

We go outside.

- No I do not want to. - Yes, listen to me.

Listen. We're going salsa dancing.

- No, not salsa, man! - True. Not salsa.

- Do not laugh. - No salsa, sorry.

I forgot how much chorizo liked salsa. I wasn't thinking.

- He liked all music. - All of it, all music.

Hey, let's go out and pick people up.

You haven't left the boat in ages.

- You just want to find someone to fuck. - Yes, exactly. Fuck.

Do you want me to unwind all the women for you again?

Come down. You're rusty. Let's go?

Man up a bit and then we'll go.

I made it clear to the dark-haired one.

Stop being annoying. I'm the dark-haired one and you're the nice one.

No thanks.

Seriously? Wow!

So, are you two kind of poor or something?

That's a joke.

To you.

- Whiskey for the ladies? - Yes!

- Oh thank you. - Please.

You don't have to make that much space. He has a tiny ass.

He's so tiny.

Are you rather small...

He's flat. I don't know, he's just not there.

Get up, I want to see him.

- Show me. - No.

- I want to see your bottom. - OK.

Make a presentation.

Do you see? There is nothing.

I don't see it under my jeans.

I think you should take off your jeans.

It's like an extension of your back. Captain Longback.

You have a pretty good butt too.

I always thought men's asses were funny.

It just doesn't quite make sense in their physics.

Do you know what I mean? Well, for women, asses make total sense.

- We are made of curves. Just one more. - That's correct.

With men, they're so completely exhausted, and then...

- No, that's a stupid theory. - It's like a huge pimple.

I've never seen it that way before, but you're totally right.

I think you have a great ass. So, I said it.

And I have no problem saying that, so...

- Thanks. - No problem.

You have a great ass too.

I know, actually! A few people have already told me that.

But I think we all have good...

- Wow. - ...asses. Yes, hello.

- What's your name again? - Christine.

- Yes, no, I know. - And your name is...

I meant your last name, sorry.

Christine Smith.

- Smith? - Yes.

Oh, Susie...

No, you... just stay here. Yes, relax.

- Do you like? - Yes I like.

- Do you like that? - Yes totally. Is it real?

- No. My God. - No.

No, actually I absolutely love animals.

- Yes, me too. I love animals. - Real? Are you vegetarian, vegan?

- Naturally. Yes, I... - Yes?

I have to go to the toilet.

Me too.

- What are you doing? - I'm a secretary.

What? Secretary?

No, that's good, you're a sexy secretary.

You have a beautiful face to paint.

Real? Thanks. Are you kind of an artist or something?

No, I'm... a professional illustrator.

- Oh really? - And fireman.

- Wow. - Yes.

So, do you save people from burning buildings and stuff?

Yeah, and then I draw the people I save, you know?

So you draw... oh, wow. Burn injuries like that?

No.

Hey.

I'll be right there, okay?

You can look at the rest of my boat.

Wow.

- Hi. - Hi.

Come.

You look beautiful.

On the toilet...

...do you have...

I just wanted to pee, but then I had to stop.

I know that...

- What? - Nothing nothing.

Oh, did it smell?

No.

It is only...

It's a pretty intimate thing and...

We were just about to fuck, but you think

it's too intimate that I shit on your toilet?

- I'm sorry, I just... - Come here.

I am not used to it.

- What are you doing here? - Hi.

Where did you get my address from?

I thought you were still with your mother.

And...

Why didn't you answer?

I asked you to give me time.

It's been half a year now.

I said I would get in touch when I was ready.

OK.

I'll go.

Well, you're here now, so...

Come up with me.

Do you want a drink?

No, everything is OK. Thanks.

It looks great.

When did you move in?

A few weeks ago.

What do you want?

Roger goes back to Barcelona.

- Oh, wow. - Yes.

And he really wants to see you before he leaves.

Yes.

I didn't expect I would miss the guy so much.

Come down to the boat tomorrow.

We're right down there.

In Homerton, our old place, and we can go to the market in Chatsworth.

I think I'll call him

and go have coffee with him or something.

Hey.

Do you notice that?

What?

Does not move.

Very solid.

Very solid here on the mainland.

How do you say that in Spanish? They say...

Tierra seca?

Tierra...

It's called tierra firma.

Tierra company.

Yes.

You never liked living on a boat, did you?

But.

But.

Not... not forever.

- It is too late. - I've changed my mind.

I have thought a lot. I've thought a

lot and I have to tell you everything.

I've done so many things wrong and I wanted to tell

you it's because I never wanted to be a mother.

I had no desire to really become a mother, and then, you know...

What does it even mean to become a mother? Do you know?

I don't know. I didn't think I could be the

woman I wanted to be when I became a mother.

But now, you know, I... I don't know. I have easy...

I loved our life together. And that's why I didn't want a child.

This is the reason. I... I wanted you for myself.

I just wanted to be one with you

and now I understand that's so selfish

and now that we don't have a life together anymore, I'm just...

None of this makes sense. None of this makes sense.

Only life with you makes sense and now it is...

I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss everything.

I miss... your smell and I miss...

I miss our adventures together and this would be an amazing adventure.

The two of us, or the three of us, or the four of us, if you want Roger to help.

He'll help me, I know, because I won't

be that good at it, but, I'm sorry, I...

I can't have a child just for you, but I can

have one because I want to share this with you.

I don't know, this probably sounds totally crazy,

but I just know that I won't regret this, ever.

And at first I won't be very good at it, but I'll learn.

I will learn, we will learn together and we will get it done.

Not true?

Come with me.

You're pregnant?

Alone?

Yes, like the Virgin Mary.

No, I went to a clinic.

That was fast.

Yes.

What did you expect?

We both became selfish, didn't we?

I don't know.

I got my boat, you got your baby.

I better go. I'll go.

Fuck it.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

Do you want to come on board?

I don't know.

What do you think?