Original subtitles

(music playing)

♪ I need a dollar, dollar ♪

♪ A dollar is what I need, hey, hey ♪

♪ Well, I need a dollar, dollar ♪

♪ A dollar is what I need, hey, hey ♪

♪ Said I need a dollar, dollar ♪

♪ And if I share with you my story ♪

♪ Would you share your dollar with me? ♪

♪ Well, I don’t know ♪

♪ If I’m walking on solid ground ♪

♪ And I need a dollar, dollar ♪

♪ A dollar is what I need ♪

♪ And if I share with you my story ♪

♪ Would you share your dollar with me? ♪

(music continues playing)

-

- Shh!

Oh, my God, you cannot keep me up so late.

- Hmm. - These mornings are fuckin’ brutal.

Little wake-and-bake to take the edge off.

What? No!

Oh, my God.

I gotta be at work in 30 minutes.

You see, that’s why I’m self-employed.

I’m already at the office.

- Ohh.

They seen the video?

That’s crazy.

Seen it, he loves it.

He loves it so much he wants to meet Wilfredo.

- He liked the fire? - Hell, yeah.

He said all the kids in the area are askin’ for Rasta Monsta.

And check this out. He wants to test it in his chain,

a skateboard store called VERT.

There’s 32 in southeast New England alone.

This could be really big.

How big is the order?

It’s a really great start.

That’s good...

I gotta--

I gotta go, Eddie.

For real, Debbie...

this is such a special moment for me right now...

and I’m so glad you’re here to experience it with me.

Ooh...

"My little buddy from grade school

had graduated to manhood.

Ethan had fallen in love with beautiful Bianca."

- It sucks, right? - Nah, you’re doin’ good!

I can’t read a best man speech. I should just have Ben do it, right?

- No, try--

- Shit.

So Ben’s going?

Yeah. Me, Ben and Ethan,

we all went to high school together.

- Oh, cool. - It was actually Ben and Rachel

that set up Ethan and Bianca on their first blind date.

That means Rachel’s probably gonna be there too.

- Kappo, you want my advice? - Yes.

Lose the paper... speak from the heart.

I got something for your public speaking woes.

I know you got some troubles.

This, gentlemen,

is the latest in public consumption.

THC spray.

One spray, you’re good.

Two sprays, and you’ll be doing

your own fuckin’ version of The King’s Speech.

(phone ringing)

Does this work just like weed?

Yeah. Try it.

Hey, um...

ask you guys a question.

How would you feel if me and Rachel were to get together?

- What?! - Ben’s Rachel?

She hasn’t even been datin’ him for a year.

Who cares? Rachel is always gonna be Ben’s girl in my mind.

- OK, calm down. - Don’t.

- I know that look. - What?

Did something already happen?

Forget it! I mean--

How could you do that?

For real? You wanna make something happen with Rachel,

you gotta talk to Ben.

OK. Forget it.

It’s not even like that. I’ll talk to Ben.

Cool?

And before that, he was the buyer for Barney’s

until he left to open up his own store. South Willard.

I think he’s gonna really like your hoodies.

- Yeah?

Black’s good on you. You should wear more of it.

All right, let’s see what you got here.

Where’s the new stuff?

Yeah, we could use some updating.

I can’t sell this. First of all,

you guys can’t be in it-- it’s kinda cheesy.

Looks like you can’t afford real models.

- We can’t. - You don’t need to let people know that.

I’m sure you got some hot friends somewhere, right?

Just shoot them. Gotta make it look cool.

Upscale. Professional.

- When does Ryan get in? - Monday.

We’ll shoot a new one this weekend.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

I love that. "We’ll just shoot another one this weekend."

- Easy. - Very cool. - I’m so sorry I’m late.

Yes, it’s good that you could come here, Cam.

We kind of have covered everything though, right?

- Yeah. - Ben’ll bring you up to speed.

- Upscale. - High class.

I got a location that could be dope.

- I’m gonna take care of it. - Cool.

I was gonna ask Domingo if he should model. What do you think?

You want to use Domingo?

Yeah. Dom’s a good look, no?

Yeah, maybe.

Kappo would kill to do it, too.

That could be cool. Kind of unexpected.

Are you serious?

Yeah, no, you’re right.

- Let’s use Domingo. - All right. Cool.

My lunch today is for sure gonna go long,

so if you could go to the meeting and take notes, and Let Isabelle know

- I’m running late. - OK.

Has anybody ever told you

you’ve got a hostile listening face?

Um, what? N-- Uh...

no, I guess not.

It’s like you listen,

but your face reads this sort of "I hate you."

Robert from Legal brought it up.

- I totally see it. - Oh. Sorry.

You were 15 minutes late today.

Yes. I’m sorry about that. The train was like--

Ah-ah-ah. Rachel, I don’t want anybody who doesn’t want to be here.

People would kill for this job. Literally kill.

I-I don’t think you mean literally.

I need to see your passion for Biscuit.

If you don’t want to be here, let me know now.

I wanna be here.

I l-love it here.

Good. Bump up the passion.

What’s this?

Adam Tushman’s Bar Mitzvah invite.

- What? - A freelance gig.

Man, the Jews love black people, don’t they?

It’s the shared oppression.

So, you know, Rachel’s a custy now.

- Rachel buys weed? - Yeah.

- What? - And I know it’s weird,

but if it’s cool with you,

I was thinkin’ about askin’ her for dinner.

Is there a shortage of 18-year-old model chicks arriving from Minnesota?

No, man, she went dog-walking with me one day,

it was really cool.

I just wanted to run it by you, see how you felt about it.

Well, not to sound like a dick,

but the whole reason for Rachel and I not working out

was about me not being career-motivated.

OK.

You know, and, I mean, you got the dog-walking

and the weed-dealing, I just--

I hate to see you waste your time with her.

Yeah, I mean, I get it. No worries.

So, um, when do you guys need me to get my Zoolander on?

- Ten? - A.M.?

- Yeah. - You got it, bro.

- All right. - Come on, Moo Shoo.

Wow. I see how it goes.

Work the girl to get to the dad.

- It’s not even like that. - It isn’t?

We just need a location that feels premium for the look book.

And you know nothin’s more premium than your dad’s place.

Look, it’s not a bad thing.

You got balls. My dad’ll like that.

Your dad likes balls?

You’re funny.

You’re beautiful, Lulu.

Look, Cam.

- Hmm? - You don’t have to hustle me.

But if you wanna bring some Bruno cannoli when you go over there,

my dad’ll be into that.

Gangsta.

I wanna get a good luck charm for my good luck charm.

Oh, Rene.

Thank you.

Yeah. What do you like?

Oh, I don’t know.

Oh, my gosh.

Those canaries like Ivanka Trump wears.

Can we see those?

You can’t get those for me. Those are too much.

Where I come from, we say you go big or you go home.

Yeah, OK, Papi, just don’t go too big and go homeless.

You’re a good woman...

and you give a helluva wakeup call.

Try ’em on.

(phone ringing)

(ringing)

- - Hi.

Do you want to take the train to Ethan and Bianca’s wedding with me?

Um... sure.

Why not?

Unless you got other plans.

Uh, no.

Do I have a hostile listening face?

I don’t know. Why are you asking me this?

- ’Cause I was at work, and-- - You know what?

- You do, actually. - I do?

My boss, like, hates me for it.

What?! You can’t help that,

that’s not fair-- it’s like a disability.

Maybe you could sue.

I’m getting off the phone.

(beep)

- Hey, hey. - Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure.

Remember how you told me not to come to you with problems

but to think things through and come to solutions?

- Yeah. - Well, you need to write Rasta Monsta a $30,000 check

from your personal account.

What happened?

The bottling plant.

They can’t fulfill the VERT order.

It’s too big, and we’re maxed out credit-wise.

- What? - We don’t have the cash on hand,

so I figure why not dip into your personal

’til we collect on accounts due?

That’s your solution?

That’s what you came up with,

that I should pay the difference?

Mike’s idea was to go rob some drug dealers.

I told him we can’t do that kind of stuff no more.

But I was only kiddin’. I wasn’t serious.

Yeah, right.

So you’re saying I should cover it?

Puñeta, man! You guys still don’t get it!

You’re in charge of accounts receivable!

- Who owes us money? - Half of Flushing.

- That’s Park’s territory? - Yeah.

So you gettin’ settled in?

I honestly haven’t even

properly unpacked,

and I’m in the middle of starting this job and...

I’m really just a mess when it comes to that.

Are you seeing anybody?

What? No.

I mean, there is this one guy.

Sort of...

outside of my world,

like, an unusual choice for me.

Like, a cowboy?

Yeah, he’s a cowboy. His name’s Cowboy Rudy.

He’s a cowboy. How’d you guess?

Maybe you should give Cowboy Rudy a shot.

You never know, right?

Felix, man,

I need to ask you for a serious favor.

I normally wouldn’t ask you,

but it’s kind of an emergency.

What, do you need a kidney?

Can I use your place for a photo shoot tomorrow?

We gotta update our look book, but in order to do that,

we gotta shoot it in a premium good location,

so... I thought of you.

Mm-hmm.

Um, what’s your budget?

Around three?

Three thousand?

Hundred. Dollars.

Nah. No, no. I can’t.

I’m just fuckin’ with you.

Nah, I don’t want your money.

For me, it’s not about the money.

If you wanna use my place,

well, you’re gonna have to win it.

( grunting, )

Aaah! Ohh!

- My back! - Shit, you all right?

Oh, that was tremendous. Cam, that was tremendous!

Ohh.

Hey!

- How are you? - Hi.

- How great is this? - Yeah.

I mean, I can’t believe you set them up on a blind date

and now they’re getting married.

- It’s crazy! - Pretty crazy, right?

So how long have you two been together now?

- We’re not actually together. - Yeah, we’re buddies.

You still look really good together, guys.

- Yes. - Is that a weird thing to say?

- No, it’s... - I’m sorry.

I’m already wasted, so... I’m gonna see you inside.

- Hey, David. - Hello, Rachel.

What’s wrong, man?

I can’t give the speech, man. I’m gettin’ hives.

You’ll be fine. Just speak from your heart.

That’s what everyone says.

What if what’s in my heart sucks?

♪ Hundreds on the table, twenties on the floor ♪

♪ Fresh outta work, on the way with some more ♪

- -

♪ And I love it ♪

♪ I got gangstas in the crowd, bad bitches at my show ♪

- Wepa. -

♪ And it’s sittin’ on fo’s-- ♪

- See those moves, Eddie?

That’s the Running Man right there.

- That’s a Chino culo, bro.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Yeah, y’all are funny. Everybody got jokes.

Yo, where’s your father?

My father?

You must not got the memo, homie.

Pops retired.

I’m the head Korean in charge of this bitch.

All sixteen stores.

Yo, seventeen, nigga.

We just opened up on Merrick Boulevard.

So you’re the new CEO now, huh?

- Yeah. - That’s good.

I want my money.

We on a 30-day cycle.

You’ll get your money. You know we good to you, baby.

- It’s been 42 days. - Work with a brother, man.

Times is hard on the Boulevard for all of us.

Ohh! Uhh...

Out of respect for your father, you get this one warning.

You don’t want me comin’ back here again now, OK?

What are we gonna do now?

I know where I could get the money.

♪ These arms of ♪

- - I now pronounce you man and wife.

- You may kiss the bride. -

Yeah!

You’re all right.

- I’m sorry. - It’s OK.

♪ These arms of mine ♪

♪ They are yearning ♪

♪ Yearning ♪

♪ From wanting you ♪

When two corporations merge,

the results are unknown.

Even the best analysts on Wall Street can’t predict

how this new single entity will perform.

But in the case of Ethan and Bianca,

I think it’s safe to say,

"Call your broker and get in on the ground floor."

Oh, my gosh.

Look, I’m not really good at public speaking. Um...

I just want to say this.

Seeing my dear friend Ethan

and his new wife Bianca,

it’s beautiful.

It’s hard to find your soul mate.

I don’t know how to do it.

I know this though,

that you can’t live in an imaginary world

and expect to find something real.

Ethan and Bianca have always been real with each other.

I’ve never seen a couple like this.

They celebrate each other’s imperfections.

Because it’s not about fairy tales,

it’s about what’s in your heart.

What’s in their heart is...

it’s love.

It’s perfectly imperfect,

tried and true, fiery, it’s unconditional,

and most of all, it’s real.

Mazel tov.

Mazel tov!

(upbeat pop music playing)

( both laughing

Hi, baby.

Want me to warm up some chuletas y arroz con gondules?

You’re too good to me.

So, I got you something.

You already got me something.

I got you something better.

What’s that?

Open it.

Oh, my God! They’re ginormous!

Rene, what are you doing?

Take those off. I upgraded you.

- Are you serious? - Only the best for my girl.

I don’t want these.

Wh-What do you mean you don’t want them? Look at them!

I like mine better.

Why would you buy me fake diamonds, Rene?

What are you talkin’ about?!

I got these from this Sephardic brother I know.

I know diamonds. Those are fake.

Why would you do me like that?

I’m tellin’ you they’re not fake!

They’re a little dusty,

Just a little polishing, that’s it!

I’ve dated hoods my whole life,

always sixty cents short on the fucking dollar.

I’m not a hood.

From where I’m standing,

you look like another broke-ass hustler

trying to get over on somebody.

But I’m smarter than that.

I think you should just leave.

Come on, Debbie, it’s not even like that.

They’re just earrings.

Well, good!

You keep the big ones,

and I’ll keep the little ones

as a parting gift.

Thank you.

Is she asleep?

Oh, yeah.

Hmm.

I wanted to talk to you about something

that’s been eatin’ me up inside.

What’s up?

I don’t even know if I should say anything,

because I don’t know anything officially,

but I got a... pretty bad feeling about it.

Now you’re starting to scare me.

Just tell me.

Just say it.

The SEC is investigating my boss,

and if he talks, I’m next.

What?

Last summer I was at a conference in Vegas,

and I met this cute analyst chick

and we got wasted,

and she drunkenly told me some things,

and I stupidly told them to my boss,

and he ran with it.

I don’t understand. Is that illegal?

Ben, I’m more than likely gonna go to the federal pen.

What?!

Are you serious?

Yeah.

Ohh.

You’d still be my friend if I was broke?

Of course.

OK, you say that, but think about it.

There’s gonna be no more car service,

no more bottles at the clubs, no more dinners,

- no more Park Avenue apartment... - Come on, man.

Those things, they’re cool,

but that’s not the reason I’m friends with you.

Look, I got a couch with your name on it should you ever need it.

Take this.

What did we just talk about? Keep your watch.

- I want you to have it. - No.

Or you can hock it and pay your rent for three years.

- Take it. Take it. - Keep your watch.

- - This is really good.

Yeah, it’s cheap and drinkable.

Mm. Sorry, dude.

Not gonna happen for you right now.

Wow. What’s wrong?

You smell like my father.

We need to take a shower.

♪ I’ll be your love ♪

♪ Be your love... ♪

- This is it, huh? - Yep.

OK.

- So. - So...

Fucking great day.

Yeah... it was.

Yeah.

Let me say something, and I know you’re gonna think I’m insane,

but I’m just gonna say it.

- Yeah, say it. - OK.

Um.... you know, uh,

the guy that I was telling you that I’m seeing?

- Yeah. - Cowboy Rudy?

- Yes, Cowboy Rudy. - OK.

Um, maybe you won’t even care, I don’t know,

I just wanted to tell you

so that you didn’t find out from somebody else.

Um...

Cowboy Rudy... is Domingo.

I know. It’s weird.

Are you pissed? You’re pissed.

No, I’m...

not pissed, I’m just a... little surprised.

Yeah, that’s why I was gonna tell you, but it’s like...

- It’s cool. - It is?

- Yeah. - OK, cool.

I think you guys make a great-- great couple.

- Ben, we’re not a couple. - Have a good night, Rach.

Fuck.

♪ How ya gonna do me like this? ♪

♪ How you gonna do me like that? ♪

- - You good?

Huh huh huh.

♪ Dude might drink in a bar ♪

♪ Dude might drink in the streets ♪

♪ Hangin’ out, always sleepin’ in hallways ♪

- - Ohh! Aaah!

- You gonna break my neck, yo! - I want my money,

and I want it now.

All right, man!

Ease up on the chain, yo! I’ll pay you, I will pay you!

♪ How ya gonna do me like that... ♪

- What’s up, bro? - Not much. What’s up with you?

Ready to get my fuckin’ Vogue on, that’s what’s up.

So I spoke with Rachel last night.

She says you guys are dating?

- Aw, shit. - What, you fuck her,

and then you ask me if it’s cool to take her to dinner?

Fam, it’s not even like that.

The shit was so random the way it happened.

You tell me how it happened.

You came at me with some half-assed dog-walking bullshit,

and the whole time you’re lying to me.

- That’s lame, man. - You want to be real?

- Yeah, be real. - I like Rachel, and Rachel likes me.

The dog-walking drug-dealer. Who woulda thought that shit?

- Whatever, man. - Yeah, whatever.

Domingo! Yo!

Come back! Let’s work this shit out after!

Well, fuck you then, you little ho!

Fuck you.

What are we gonna do now?

Did you know about him and Rachel?

No. Not officially.

Wow. Where is the loyalty, man?

What do you want me to say?

I told him to talk to you immediately.

It’s pretty fucked up, right?

Whatever.

What are we gonna do about this photo shoot?

We improvise.

♪ What is hip? ♪

♪ Tell me, tell me ♪

♪ Do ya think ya know? ♪

♪ What is hip? ♪

♪ If you was really hip ♪

♪ The passing years would show ♪

♪ You in a hip trip ♪

♪ Maybe hipper than hip... ♪

That’s Felix DiFlorio, right?

Yeah. You know who he is?

I go to SVU. We study him.

Very cool. What’d you think of the look book?

- It’s cool. - It went all right, didn’t it?

There’s one margin over there a little bit messed up,

but I could run it through the machines again.

You want it to be perfect, right?

Yeah, I do. Cool.

- Thanks, man. - No problem.

(phone ringing)

(TV on)

(beep)

Ben.

No, no, I just, I, uh,

I dozed off, was watching The Cosby Show.

When I was little I used to dream that Dr. Huxtable would adopt me.

I was just checkin’ in on ya. You all right?

Yeah, I’m good.

- Thanks for callin’, man. - Of course.

- Hit me tomorrow. - Yeah. I will.

All right, cool. Peace.

(beep)

♪ You’ll want to leave your path ♪