Original subtitles

Thank you.

What is the meaning of some timely disturbance, Captain?

We're being shadowed, Your Grace.

Pirates? Aye, but not of these waters.

We sure as hell can't have got her, but we may be able to run her out in that

black storm.

Make it so, and God be with you, Captain.

Aye. All right, men, batten down the hatches. Prepare to go riding into the

storm. Make way for the wind's eye, lads.

What is that devil's scribble written upon her colors?

It's Arabic.

It says, there's no God but Dai Shang.

See, demon.

Say, it's gone.

It's truly a miracle.

God has shown us his divine mercy.

Glory be thy name.

Would you praise your grace?

I believe our story is about to have a scene change.

I'm afraid they'll be paying us a little visit. Go down below and hide in my

cabin. I'll fend them off for as long as I can.

Come with me, Your Grace. We must keep you safe. May God save us all.

Don't let me die. Your salvation depends upon it.

The hour.

Give it to me, or I'll drop you into the bloody fangs of the abyss! I know not

what you speak of!

Within me, Master.

God himself will ensure you burn in hell for killing a man of the cloth. There

is only one God. He stands before you.

Captain!

LZ Frank!

LZ Frank!

LZ Frank! LZ Frank!

And these men, Emperor?

As you wish, my Michelle.

Sea date, September 20th, this year of our Lord, 1763.

Hold on a moment, Oxford.

I like damn dashing, don't I?

You look like a man who has just crossed swords with the brutish devil himself

and pierced his icy heart with the burning blades of your godly virtue.

I love your phrasing, Oxford.

Your heroics inspire my words, my captain.

Let us continue.

Having successfully delivered Isabella and Manuel to their new island home, the

island did not have the proper resources to mend our broken rudder completely.

Thus, we set sail partially crippled to the new port.

This obstacle has not disenchanted the crew.

My swift and decisive victory over the infamous Victor Stagnetti has ensured

that the crew's heart has been lifted tenfold, and they promise to sail with

Onward to the blue heavenly sky, or to the bottom of the sea in Davy Jones'

locker. The performance of the crew has been exemplary.

Especially Woo's.

What? Especially Woo's.

Woo's? Why, yes. If not for Woo, we'd all be dead.

But it was my clever orders, and thus we won.

With all respect, sir.

I do recall your words precisely, and they were, fire those cannons, woo, or

we're all dead.

You can understand, sir.

But if I had not given the orders precisely the right moment...

Um,

okay. Uh, we're, uh, let's continue.

Wait, wait, wait. Hi, sir.

The crew's exemplary... The crew of the crew has been fervently practicing

swordplay with Jules daily, and sometimes thrice a day.

I'm amazed by their razor -sharp concentration and Jules' patience.

We have encountered a strange but wonderfully heartwarming surprise.

Wu's sister, Ai Chao, has ventured from the Far East by a happy -looking bunch

of sailors.

I have never seen so many calm and satisfied men upon one ship.

She must have worked hard and vigorously to pay her passage.

The purpose of I's visit is that she has come to bring Wu his father's book of

ancient Chinese gunpowder magic.

She is affectionate and loving to all she encounters.

She is a true Buddhist.

I believe having her nurturing spirit aboard will bring a soft comfort and

compassion that the crew has long been longing for.

The crew has been much more at ease since Ai's arrival. Her Buddhist

ever -present.

At night, she gives multiple crewmen simultaneous massages to relax their

bones after a rough day at sea.

She must be a skilled masseuse because I have never heard such sounds of tension

relief.

You happy now?

However, there's been a downside to Ai's presence.

Wu has been very irritable, especially when Ai is giving Buddhist blessings to

the crew as they work.

Moments before we last set sail, we receive word from Olivia.

Serena's cousin, the Governor Littleton of Jamaica, has issued a warrant for

Serena's immediate arrest.

Serena has ordered her cousin to stay aboard to protect us from any hostile

forces that may be searching for her.

A kind gesture, but highly unnecessary.

Thus, when we arrive in Kingston, I will see to the governor personally to ask

for Serena's immediate pardon.

As for myself, I have never felt more keen and vigilant and ready to kick some

fired ass with these twin hellfire cannons.

Indeed, sir.

Why, you are a mighty frigate of destruction.

What? A mighty warship of destruction.

Yeah.

A mighty warship of destruction.

Oh, God.

Oh, God, please don't kill me. I didn't know I was nowhere near Tortuga.

You haven't learned to keep your guard up, have you?

Olivia.

I thought I was merely playing a game.

I am Captain Edward Reynolds, master and commander of Vigilance.

Serena was right to ask for my protection.

A little gesture, but highly unnecessary.

Once Governor Littleton learns of Serena's health in defeating Victor

he'll have no choice but to issue her full pardon.

Don't be foolish, Captain.

The governor will never pardon Serena.

The king demands that all pirates be washed clean from the sea.

My father has close ties with his majesty, and if I ask, king's justice

prevail. King George wants for the complete extermination of all pirates

Confederate trade.

This is about commerce, not justice.

His majesty watches over his loyal subjects.

Serena shall receive a full pardon.

I will do whatever it takes to save Serena and protect this ship.

But if you get in my way, I will take the helm.

Ye better be opening this door or I'll be a blast in it open.

Ah,

ye be the governor's daughters, say I.

Yes, we're his daughters.

Please don't hurt us, sir.

Call me Devil Dick Willie.

That's what me mateys call me.

Yes, Devil Dick Willie.

Ah, don't you be afraid of me. I'll just be after your father.

You better be telling me something, or I'll be cutting your open to see if

be gold inside of you. We don't have it. It is with him.

Where be he?

In England.

I came here to get some gold, and gold I'll be a -getting.

What about this treasure double -tick, Willie?

Now that be fine.

Ain't nothing better than the governor's private treasures.

Governor.

Damn you, bloody twit.

Didn't I tell you never to disturb me while I'm playing?

Forgive me, Governor.

Captain Edward Reynolds and his first mate Jules are here to see you. He says

has important business to discuss.

Tell him I'm writing a letter to King George. Take him and his first mate down

to the dining hall.

I'll be there momentarily. Yes, Governor.

Now then, where be me treasures?

uh -huh

Signed with King George himself.

The governor's going to hear my condemnation of his vehemence behavior

as he arrives, when he ever shows up, if he ever arrives.

Do you wish the governor to pardon Serena? Yes.

Then silence.

Restrain yourself.

Ladies and gentlemen, the governor of Jamaica, Baron William Henry Littleton.

It's about time.

Who is this lovely creature I see before me? This is my first mate, Commander

Jules Deal.

And I must say, Governor, it is an honor to be in your presence.

You must be one of the most beautiful pirate hunters in all the Caribbean.

Indeed, quite possibly one of the most beautiful women in the entire British

Empire. I can assure you, Governor, she is also quite deadly.

Indeed, her beauty does appear to be quite lethal.

Allow me to introduce...

Myself. My name is Captain Edward Reynolds. It's your servant.

I'm quite aware of your name and rank. Then perhaps when you're done eating

hand... You are quite an exceptionally dashing young man

yourself, aren't you?

Well, thank you, Governor.

The women must be clawing at your hull to get aboard your massive vessel.

Well, it is no secret of my allure to women.

And these mighty guns of steel?

Mm -hmm.

You are most strong.

The men aboard your ship must be in awe and jealousy of your virility and

classical beauty.

Thank you, Governor. I must say, you're quite dapper yourself.

You must tell me who's your tailor.

Governor, may we speak to you about an urgent matter?

Why, yes, of course.

Please, you sit down.

Ah, splendid. I see you have both dined.

I hope that you do not mind watching me eat. I have a voracious appetite for

food and other mouth -watering desires.

How disrespectful of me.

I forgot to thank you on behalf of His Majesty for vanquishing Captain Victor

Stagnetti.

Tell me, just how did you defeat the bastard?

It's all about timing.

You see, the Sea Stallion's guns were malfunctioning. At the precise time the

Devil's Rose came along broadside, I was able to fire all the guns.

So, you fired the guns yourself during the battle?

No, I was at the helm.

Ah, so it was your master gunner who saved the day.

Proceed with what you were saying before.

You've issued a arrest warrant for Serena, Captain Stegnery's first mate.

Hmm, marvelous. Can you bring her before me?

I... His Majesty is longing to see the infamous Serena hang at the execution

docks. We don't have her. What?

That's rather odd.

I had information she was aboard your ship. Where is she?

It's very complicated. You see, I... She fled when she discovered we were

sailing to Kingston.

Hmm.

His Majesty will be most displeased.

Normally, I would be forced to hang you both.

For harboring a pirate, and worse, allowing her escape.

Serena helped kill Victor Signetti.

What? Bloody impossible.

No, it's true.

She manned his ship and helped us. That's why we're here begging for her

It was with her aid that we were able to defeat the Devil's Rose.

Well, I would like to, but my hands are tied by the king.

He wants her dead, like Blackbeard and so many others before him. There must be

some way His Majesty can forgive Serena.

Well, it is possible perhaps you could perform a service for His Majesty.

What is it?

Well, there was a missionary ship with the Archbishop of Canterbury on board

some vital treasure.

And it was attacked by some Barbary pirates under the command of a Chinese

pirate empress named Zi Feng.

His Majesty wants the pirates executed and the treasure, a small blue pearl,

returned. We would be honoured to do His Majesty's bidding.

What is the value of this blue pearl?

No actual value, just sentimental value to the king. Now look here.

It is an illustration of Zifeng's colours.

The text is Arabic calligraphy. It says there is no god, only Zifeng.

So.

You have quite a dangerous little adventure ahead of you, and the night

on. Why do you not stay here with me the night and rest your bodies?

Thank you, Governor.

I would be most honored, but unfortunately we need to be underway

if not sooner.

Thank you very much for your hospitality.

Do come again.

If we kill these pirates and return the treasure...

Governor Littleton will have no choice but to give a full pardon to Serena.

Will. Yes, Captain.

Will, what can you tell me about this Chinese pirate empress?

Oh, yes, Captain.

She is rated five dragon queen of the sea.

She is mortal and impossible to kill. Her weakness is chow mein.

Her weakness is chow mein?

Yes, Captain.

Jules, we're going to need a shitload of chow mein.

Edward, he's joking.

Yeah. I just become Chinese. Doesn't mean I know every Chinese private

All right.

Now, here's the plan.

Jules and I did some investigating around town, and we discovered that a

leaving tomorrow for one of the last pirate havens on Earth, a small island

called Shebulba.

Edward and I are going to try to buy passage aboard the vessel tonight.

Hopefully, we'll find this pirate empress.

How exciting.

When do we set sail, Captain?

If all goes well, Jules and I will leave in the morning.

You, Oxford.

Wu, I, and Olivia will stay here and supervise the repairs on the sea

You're going to need me.

I think it's best you stay behind, Captain, with all due respect.

Don't you think that my talents, modest as they may be... could be best utilized

in a covert offensive such as Chevalhover.

Oxford.

Oxford!

You're third in command.

What I need from you is for you to stay behind in the sea stallion with Wu and

supervise the repairs.

Captain?

Captain.

Captain. Captain.

Really? Really.

Me? Yeah.

Captain Oxford.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Yes, yes.

I'm going to need your help if we're going to save Serena. What are you

about? What do you want me to do?

Your captain's foolishness is going to kill us all.

We must organize a mutiny.

Mutiny?

Never. Not only is he a fine captain, but he's my best friend.

Don't let your feelings of friendship get between the well -being of this

I will lead us to safety.

He led us to victory against Dignetti, and he'll lead us to victory once again.

How did you ever become second -in -command being so weak?

Keep insulting me and you'll find out just how weak I am.

I fight warriors.

Not whores.

Are you not his whore?

You want to play with that, huh?

Is that all you got?

Is that all you got? You

think I don't know how to fuck?

Honey, you little whore. You little fucking whore. Fuck me, bitch.

You better fuck like one.

That's what I need.

Show me how to be a warrior. You're going to smash me when I do it right.

You

can't

be a whore if you take that out.

It's been there. Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Yeah? You want me to hit you harder? I want you to hit me.

Harder!

Harder!

If you're gonna hit me, you better fucking hit me!

You fucking... You fucking whore! You fucking whore!

You fucking whore! You fucking whore!

You fucking whore!

You fucking whore!

Don't fucking lie to me.

Are you lying to me?

Are you lying?

I don't know. Because you're a fucking whore. I'm trying to be.

I'm the whore. Fuck me. I'm the whore.

I'm the whore.

I can't get a lot in there.

agreed to give us passage to Shobaba Island.

How much?

600 pieces of eight.

600 pieces of eight? Might as well just take my right arm. That's ridiculous.

That's the only ship selling to Shobaba Island.

Did you even try and negotiate with us?

His terms are non -negotiable.

Captain. Just a minute. Captain.

What? Have you secured passage yet? I suppose so, but this isn't piracy,

This is pirate rape. What did you expect?

Oh, excellent.

Yeah, we'll be needing some silver as well, sir.

To get some men to repair the rudder.

How much?

No idea. I've yet to secure a single estimate for the repairs.

Sir.

It might cost a bit more than this. With several estimates, I'm sure you'll take

the cheapest one.

Aye, sir.

Defrugal Oxford.

This adventure is costing you budget.

Aye, Captain.

This

isn't

so bad.

No, it could be a lot worse.

Yeah, actually, I'm getting quite comfortable.

Me too.

So, the governor was not only an automatic, but an arrogant fool as well.

dare he have the audacity to question my command? What would he know of the heat

of battle? He wasn't there. If it wasn't for the fact that he was governor, I

would have crossed blades with him right then. Calm down. There's no need to get

yourself worked up. I should have left as soon as he issued his first insult.

I should have... I'm a fraud.

Oh, my God, I'm a fraud.

Everybody knows it. Olivia, Oxford.

Oh, Lord, help me.

What's wrong?

Oh, God, I'm dying.

Oh, this is it. Oh, Lord, I'm coming.

My life's flashing before my eyes. I fucked my retarded cousin.

Oh, Lord, help me. I'm coming.

Edward, you're not dying.

Okay, breathe.

You're just having one of your panic attacks.

And just breathe.

What are you doing? I'm breathing.

Breathe with me now.

They're good. Come on.

Feeling better?

Yeah.

No. Edward, what's wrong?

Oh, God, the governor was right.

I don't know what I'm doing in battle.

Wu saved us, not I.

I'm a coward.

Nonsense. You were absolutely courageous.

I'm an idiot.

What are you talking about? You fought off all those deadly warrior skeletons.

But one.

I was tangled up with him the whole time.

You're not an idiot. You're the great captain who led us to victory.

We had two alternatives out there. The Dyer survived.

He survived because of you, Edward.

Oxford, Blue, Serena, all believed in your strength.

Just look at it. It's there.

Don't ever second -guess your strength.

Joel?

Yes?

Thank you for being an extraordinary friend.

No need to thank me. We're family.

We are.

I gotta pee.

Okay, go before you pee on me.

Did you say you had sex with your retarded cousin?

Man the boarding hooks and battle axes.

No bloody pirate will ever board this vessel. The first taking the sword

of Captain Oxford Buckingham. Aye, aye, I'm sorry, aye.

What the devil are you doing here, man?

I think I asked her away.

What do you think's that?

She got out of her iron and escaped.

We need to fight her.

It's late.

We need some rest, then we'll get some men, and we'll fix this rudder. Fine, I

will go alone.

All right, I'm coming.

Perhaps we should bring Olivia.

She gone too.

What's next? Next, we split up. We'll be able to cover more ground that way. And

now I'll meet you at that temple right there. Aye.

Commander, be vigilant.

You as well.

Some delight to satisfy your all very perverted desire.

Let's start the bidding at 20 pieces of eight.

Come on, matey bros.

This is a fine and sturdy woman.

She'll be able to handle a good topping, and then so, 20 pieces of eight.

This one looks like a bargain to me, matey.

Yeah, if you like a woman with lots and lots of curves.

You mean if I was a whale, I'm sure I'd be in heaven, eh?

Hey, matey.

Okay, matey bros.

give you once in a lifetime deal.

Fifteen pieces of eight.

I order for fifteen pieces of eight for her. Okay, fifteen. Do I hear sixteen?

Aye, sixteen.

Yeah, now you're bidding, matey bro. Do I hear seventeen?

Seventeen.

Sixteen going once.

Sixteen going twice.

Sold to the wheat pirate.

Congratulations, little bro.

Next. We have this exquisite jewel up for sale. Here she is, kidnapped all the

way from Paris, France.

I bring you young Anne, matey bros.

This lassie sounds like the creme de la creme, eh, matey?

She's exquisite.

Could I trouble you to describe her beauty to me, me being a poor old blind

Oh. Oh!

She has long golden locks with shocked black hair. Oh, me likes a black widow.

How's her skin?

Me don't be wanting any blemishes.

And I won't be tolerating an oily fish face either.

You're a tough customer.

Me likes what me likes.

Go on.

Well, her skin is white, smooth, and creamy.

There's not a blemish on it.

Wait.

There's a male.

How about a breath?

Either flapjacks, raisins, or a flapjack with a big raisin on top.

I'm afraid you've lost me on that one.

Making rules, we're going to start the bidding at 15 pieces a minute.

Sir, could I trouble you to bid for me?

Ah, yes.

Great, no problem.

Yeah, so, by the way, have you heard of a Chinese pirate empress by the name of

Zai Feng?

You be looking for trouble, eh?

Always. Well, I've heard of her, but tactful. be acquainted.

Ah,

50. Do I hear 60?

60.

Do I hear 70?

70.

70.

80.

Do I hear 90?

You must be new around these waters.

90. Go 90.

Just bad with names, that's all. 90.

100.

120.

130. 130.

And that'd be tech for a slave girl you'd be bidding on. Oh, that tech war.

thought you meant a different tech war.

One hundred and thirty.

Two hundred.

Motherfucker. Three hundred.

Four hundred.

No, no, I haven't got that kind of silver. Don't worry, I've got it

Seven hundred.

Seven hundred and thirty -three.

One thousand.

Are you crazy, matey?

One thousand pieces of eight.

One thousand ten.

One thousand going once. One thousand going twice.

Sold to my handsome friend.

Scum, you pirate, scurvy, scabby scoundrel.

Congratulations, my friend. You get the best that silver can buy.

By the way, I don't see any large sack of silver for me.

Oh. Well, I've got a large sack for you. Easy, bro.

But it's not silver.

More than enough to cover the bid.

How do you know that my favorite color was gold?

Just a hunch, I guess.

I'm Tagbor.

You may have heard of me.

Not really, bro.

Armenian gold tackboard?

Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.

No matter.

What is your name?

My name? Oh, my name. My name's Jackson.

Stone. Cold Jackson.

I may have heard of you. Were you the one who found Captain Morgan lost gold?

That was I.

It was I that found Captain Morgan lost gold.

Come, let me give you your pretty sick slave.

It'll be my pleasure to have you as my guest of honor.

Come into my solid, golden palace.

It would be good.

Meet and romance you will.

It would be my pleasure, sir.

So you've already met the main seafool of Yon -Lawong.

I am known as Dyson, and you are?

The pirate empress. That's not what I asked.

You can call me the king's law.

There is no law here.

Drop it.

You see, pirate hunter, there's only piracy in Xibalba.

Come, call Jackson.

Welcome to my golden palace.

Be careful!

Everything is gold.

What a unique concept.

Here, why don't we have a seat right here, next to my throne.

Here, have a seat.

There's a wet spot on the floor.

I sleep really here in my tent, yeah.

No need, Stone Cold Jackson, bro. How do you like my tent, fellas?

It's very, uh, it's very gold.

It suits my persona, yes.

Absolutely, bro.

Not sure.

I need a name. Sounds so pure evil.

How's that?

Nobody has ever heard of Armenian gold Tagbor.

I tried switching things around like Tagbor, the gold Armenian.

Nothing sticks.

Any name that strikes fear into guts of man.

Like Blackbeard, Blackbart, or Victor Stagnity.

What do you think about Goldbeard or Goldbart?

Goldbeard. Sounds like a rabbi pirate.

Look, are you really stuck on this gold thing?

Yeah, what's wrong with gold, bro? Oh, absolutely nothing, bro.

But if you're going to terrorize the sea, I mean... really terrorize the sea,

you need a name that strikes fear in the hearts of people.

A name like, say, for example, I don't know, Chinese pirate Empress Zifeng.

How do you know about Zifeng?

Well, everybody knows about Zifeng.

You know, matey bro, Zifeng is on this very island as we speak.

You don't say.

I could introduce you to her.

Between you and me, I'm more evil.

I'm evil gold, bro.

Evil gold.

You have to remember, Dagobah, that it's not the name that brings a man infamy.

It's his infamous deeds that bring infamy to his name.

Yes! Action!

I like you so, Kumpro.

Much wisdom.

Now let's have some women.

Women.

Now we'll enjoy the show

very similar.

You could give Ai a wider berth. Let her do what she pleases a little bit.

Then she might not feel so inclined to go running off like this.

You don't know nothing. She's my little happy sister. I protect her, even from

herself.

She might not be as little as you think she is.

Besides, we need to be concentrating on repairing the sea stallion and not out

wandering these wretched alleyways.

Don't blame on me. It's what your idea.

Yourself.

Aye, mate.

He's thinking you'd be laughing.

Oh dear.

I do wish you'd tell me the truth.

You will die before the story ends. All my life, that is the truth.

You like him?

All the Chinese emperors use this creature to maintain obedience among the

closest men to them.

All the emperor guards were forced to drink from it to prevent assassination.

Now, what is your name?

And why are you here?

Why are you sitting alone in the dark, matey? Because darkness has enveloped my

soul and extinguished the everlasting light of love.

You're still carrying that burned out torch for that dead whore.

What you need is to blast your pistol on a young maid, matey.

You're right, Bernard.

You're absolutely right, but let me ask you just a question.

You see any women here in the bar, okay? No, there's no women here. You know

why? Because they all went to Tortuga, which is where I told you we needed to

in the first place, okay?

Tortuga.

Everybody's in Tortuga. Never you mind, Tortuga.

I've got you a young, exotic devil harlot you'd never find in Tortuga. She

all...

Where is she? Bring her in, matey.

You want one more massage, Big B?

Hi.

Later, little devil.

First give me Captain Marco here.

A touch of those devil hands.

You know who I am?

Bernard said you're Marco.

And did Bernard say that I was a murderer?

You don't real quick?

for gold that's okay a lot of people do that i don't want to make you happy come

out and kill women too even burn one alive why you do that

broke my heart

Wow.

I don't know what you mean.

I can't read you, and I can't read my brother.

I don't understand.

I won't be a good wife to you, but I have to take care of my brother.

Why? What?

What? You don't want to marry me?

Okay, wait.

We hardly know each other, okay?

I mean, it was really fun and all, but...

Brother, you have to marry me.

Like hell I do.

Ow!

Ow! Ow, that hurts!

Marry me! Ow! Oh, my good mother! No!

Marry me!

Ow! Don't I have time to think about this at all? Ow!

Will you marry me? That doesn't hurt.

Have to hand it to you, Deckbor.

You really know how to live.

Now you should see my gold ship.

Totally gold, bro.

Complete with gold fringe.

Deckbor, your name is going to sail forth into infamy.

It is my dream to be amongst the grey, blackbeard, redbeard, blackbird.

Why don't you get to know your pretty slave while I find Zephan for you?

Your pretty slave is waiting for you.

Thank you.

So you're my new master?

Well, let it not be so formal.

My name is... Edward Reynolds.

Edward is a beautiful name, master.

Thank you.

I... Would you like to take my body now?

I wish maybe we should get to know each other a little bit first.

Perhaps... Yes, let's do that.

Like for example, what's your name?

Whatever you wish to call me, Master.

You know, I think we know each other well enough now.

What am I supposed to do with this big thing, Master?

Oh, it's a good start.

Is this what you like?

Well, I... To tell you the truth, I get that all the time from my slaves.

Maybe he went deeper on it.

Something like that's nice.

That's my dirty snake.

Suck those cannonballs.

Suck them. Yeah, that's my charm.

Suck them harder.

Hmm.

Suck it harder.

Suck it harder.

Yeah.

I'll be your perfect fucking flame.

Come on, girl. Come on.

You can do it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm going to be a perfect slave

girl, Master.

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

suck your pussy juice off my cock.

Who was that?

You can take my ass if you want it.

Oh, my God, take it.

Take that fucking slutty ass.

Yeah, I'll be fucking home.

That's it, my dirty clay.

Yeah, that's it. Lick your ass off the captain's cock. Come on.

Yes, Master.

Thank me for killing Victor Stagnetti.

Yes,

Master. Thank you for killing Victor Stagnetti.

Oh, yeah.

So brave and strong, and you broke my mouth, okay?

Oh, yeah.

Oh,

yeah, it was my order. This is not your ship.

It was my order.

Thank me for killing Victor Stagnetti. Thank you, Master, for killing Victor

Stagnetti.

Without the help of Wu.

Without any help from Wu, Master.

Tell me I'm the greatest pirate hunter that ever lived.

You're the greatest pirate hunter that ever lived, Master.

I thought everybody knew that.

Fuck.

Yeah.

The milk that fucking come from your dick.

Yes. The greatest pirate hunter that ever lived.

I like that.

You're definitely my best lover, Master.

You know, I know some other slave women that we could enjoy together.

Would you?

Well, that would be fantastic.

Shh.

What is it, Master?

Jules, what are you doing here?

I've come for you, Edward. Well, that's nice. Just wait for me outside. I'll be

right there. Let me get my dungarees hot.

I told you that when we get together, I'll fly in an hour.

Jules!

This is highly inappropriate behavior.

I want you inside me, Edward.

May I watch?

No. And a commander should never be inside his first officer for any reason.

I want you inside my mouth.

We're family. I can't do that. Inside my... Listen,

Jules. I don't know what's wrong with you, but whatever it is... Jules! Jules!

Jules, stop it. This is gross.

Get off your shit.

Take Jules to the ship. As you wish, master.

Get your hands off me. Let her go. Take me.

She's my captain's prize.

Who's your captain?

You know him.

Captain Victor Spagnetti.

Spagnetti?

He's dead.

And I killed him. He's very much alive.

And Jules is going to lead us to him. Yes, master.

Don't do it, Jules. Silence.

10 euro.

You filled it up with lies.

You're dead to me.

Take him to the beach.

Jewels! Jewels!

Get your hands off me, you filthy stinking ape!

The emperor will reward you for your services in gold.

I'll see you soon.

Put on a good show and maybe we both can get out of here alive.

Look like you're in pain.

Come on.

You've got to do a better job than that.

You've got to make it look real.

Why

don't

you do that?

That would cheer for me.

Just about to break that thing and run it out of here when we should have.

Right. Right.

Edward. Yes? Let's go. Let's go.

You!

She's with me. Edward, what were you doing in there? You could have been

alive. Wasn't exactly my choice.

And by the way, I was kicking ass.

It's dangerous here. We need to return to my ship.

I need answers.

I need answers now.

All right.

Blow me down.

You brought me another devil in the flesh.

What made you, matey? This squinty -eyed devil is more squinty -eyed than that

she -devil you brought me before.

Aye. Have you seen her? Where is she?

The devil speaks in tongues. I don't know what he says.

I'm not a devil.

I'm from China, you idiot.

China's another name for hell.

No, no, no, no.

China's another country. It's in the Far East. Near India.

Shut your mouth, devil servant.

Please, sir.

I'm no servant of the devil, nor of Wu.

Actually, currently, I'm acting captain.

Hold your tongue, and I'll be cutting it off, says I.

A captain will have no use for these, nor will I.

But you said if we brought you a couple of crewmen, it'd settle our debt with

the captain.

What do you think, crewmen? This is the devil and his man lusting devil servant.

However, I'll make a deal with you. You kill them both, and I'll see that your

debt is paid.

Just don't go marooning yourself again, mateys. Lord, we need to talk about this

harlot you gave me. Hi!

Are you alive?

as devilese for devil, Captain.

Oh?

It was like Zyfing controlled her mind or something. She wasn't my beloved

Jules. She was... Helmswoman, make way for open water. Aye. What does Zyfing

want with Jules? Zyfing?

Zyfing seeks Stagnetti. What?

He's dead.

I know.

Seems absolutely ludicrous. But so are undead skeleton warriors.

I've seen them too.

How do you know Stagnetti?

I was forced along with Serena to join his crew to die.

So I did.

Until I was betrayed and imprisoned.

Sorry.

Scepter.

Scepter.

Scepter gives him the protective powers of evil. If we don't get to Victor

before they fanged us, no man will.

I am no ordinary man.

I defeated him before, and I will defeat him again.

Are you prepared to go up against Satan's will?

I am the captain.

Who changes the wind of destiny.

It is my will that will end this conflict now and forever.

Do you have any cannon?

Cegnetti took my sister away in the middle of the night.

And the last I heard, she was sold as a sex slave to some pirate named Armenian

Gold.

Oh.

Oh.

I see.

You see nothing.

I will not rest until my sister is home safe.

I've spent the last three years hunting Cegnetti.

What makes you think that you have a chance catching him?

Because I caught him before, and if I have to, I'll do it again.

Is that so?

Word around the Caribbean?

Is that your master Gunner is the one who sunk the Devil's Rose?

Vicious lie. Contrived by my jealous adversary.

It was my orders that sunk the Devil's Rose.

I defeated Spagnetti and nobody else.

Just watch. You'll see my glory.

We shall see.

Proceed.

Captain Reynolds, the captain wishes to inform you that we will arrive in

Calaveras waters within a few hours.

Thank you.

Captain Reynolds, we wish to have a word with you, sir.

Certainly. We wish to hear the tale of how you sent the Devil's Roads and

Stagnetti down to Davy Jones' locker.

I'm sorry, sailors.

I don't have time for the telling of tales right now.

Please, Captain.

All the pirates and sailors tell the tale of how you bravely defeated

We just wish to hear it from your handsome lips.

Well, perhaps I have time for the shortened version of how I've...

Defeated the Devil's Rose.

Oh, wonderful. Thank you, sir.

Thank you, Captain.

The first time I did battle with the evil Victor Stagnetti was at an ancient

Incan cave on the color of Varus Island.

What was in the cave?

The cave?

Lots of rocks.

Were there giant man -eating snakes?

No, not exactly.

Well, there was other dangerous things. Like what?

There was a...

Giant.

Well, what was it?

Porcupine.

A porcupine? Well, that's not very scary at all.

Yeah, with three snarling lion heads.

How frightening.

Oh, you don't know the worst of it.

Its feet were giant man -eating crocodiles.

Its hands were large poisonous tarantulas.

And it had a massive tail.

That was a huge king cobra that would lure over the top, ready, voice the

over the top of the three drooling lion heads.

What did you do?

What did I do?

Well, I did the only thing I could do.

And as I stood there poised over the three severed lion heads, I felt the

shadow of the king cobra coming over the top of me, poised for its death strike.

And as the venom dripped from its fangs into my open mouth, I spat.

The poison back into the beast's eyes, thus blinding it.

As I stared in Spagnetti's eyes, three million skeletons arose from the pits of

hell. Satan himself cried from his fiery depths.

Were you afraid?

Afraid? Fear is a foreign word to me. I know nothing of the word fear.

As I rode the shark over the bow of the devil's rose, with compasses clashing

with one single blow, I severed the head of Victor Spagnetti.

And God came forth and he kissed me upon the forehead.

And all was well with humanity and all living things.

Amen. Oh, you are so brave. So beautiful.

We must reward you for saving the world.

I require no reward.

The only reward that I need is sunshine in my face and the air in my nostrils.

So modest.

Kiss me.

Me too.

Well, perhaps just a little reward.

I have been rather good lately.

Yeah.

Yeah, so did mighty pirate sword.

That's it, pirates.

Kneel before the mighty sword of the greatest pirate hunter that ever lived.

Calaveras Island.

Captain Stagnetti lies within the waters beneath us.

It's so small, but so powerful.

It was first captured by the Spanish in an ancient Incan temple.

The Incans believed that the pearl has the power to earn us one's deepest

desire.

King George ordered the Archbishop to return it to England personally.

The Mad King wants to use it to find rank and treasure.

It's the same that will be with us forever.

That fear sends the strongest man to the bottom of the void, having bring the

Dark Emperor to me.

Arthas, come forth!

Arthas!

Arthas!

Blackheart has been reborn from the sea.

Really? I don't see anything.

His presence infects me.

My sword shall be my medicine.

Do you think Jules is still alive?

No matter. This isn't just about killing Victor for my own sake.

It's about vengeance for the thousands of innocents who died by his sword and

mine.

It must end.

Serena left this feast, Diane, to protect Jules' life.

Are you willing to sacrifice her life for his? Too many have been burned,

tortured.

Murdered and raped because of my apathy.

You've walked away from the darkness?

Cleanse your hands of evil.

My hands are stained.

My soul is stained with the blood of good hearts.

Would you have the innocent blood of jewels on your hands as well?

It's good to see you again, my love.

Address me as emperor or master.

Yes, my master.

So how did you manage to capture this little pirate hunter?

She was hunting me in exchange for Serena's pardon for piracy.

So Serena's joined the ranks of the pirate hunters.

Yes,

master.

She'll soon return to me.

Do you still love her?

Love is God's work, not mine.

I seek only to devour the flesh.

Jules, come to me.

The dark siren sings her song of ecstasy once again.

Come devour your prize.

Enter all.

We're lucky to catch her from behind.

The odds are in our favor. The odds will change, Captain.

You can rest assured of that.

That's not the sea stallion. The sea stallion is in port for repairs.

Captain Reynolds may have chartered another ship.

Very good.

She swallowed the bait, Emperor.

The sea will soon swallow her. I met some good friends while I was down in

just changed.

Why's it always gotta be the supernatural shit? Why can't I fight

old pirate with a wooden leg and an eye patch and a hook for a hand? Those only

exist in fairy tales.

That ghost ship's on a head -on collision course with the...

Nothing good's got a count of this.

Here she comes.

Fire the chase gun!

I didn't expect that at all.

Did you?

Do you wish to fire the stun guns, my emperor? No.

Let's see what we dead mateys can do with them.

They're going to be bored and bored with us.

All hands on deck, ready for battle.

Do you think maybe we'll get lucky and they'll sail right past us?

Now, Edward, you know that wouldn't be any fun.

Fun? I just want to fight something.

They're not dead already.

They are dead.

So when you're fighting... Try not to get your sword tangled.

Well, Captain, I don't get my sword tangled.

Here they come.

Helmswoman, keep sailing towards side being shipped. I'm going to be bored and

bored with her.

I can't.

Good.

Let her. Prepare for battle!

Oh, now this is getting fucking ridiculous.

Where do you think you're going? I'm not buying this thing.

I'll be right back.

First bones, now a giant aquasquid.

What an ass pirate.

That got him. I told you I knew where they'd be.

Give another shot of hellfire, Wu.

Not until you promise to marry my sister.

Your captain is about to get eaten by a giant sea squid.

Now's not the time to talk about this, Wu.

He's coming right at us.

Woo, reload the guns!

Woo! Woo, can you hear me?

I can hear you.

What are you doing up here on the deck? Get down there and load those guns.

I need to marry her first.

Yeah, agree, marry me.

Okay, I'll marry her. You promise? Yes, I'll even marry you, Woo. Now go down

there and load those weapons.

Okay.

You better not lie to me. For the love of God, will you please go down there

load the cannons?

You don't have to yell.

What kind of crazy family am I marrying into?

A family of pandas.

Devils. You be marrying into devils.

You first.

I usually like to arrive fashionably late.

Give my regards to David Jay, you fucking bitch.

Jules, what are you doing?

Obeying my master. Well done, nicely.

Now open her up and drink her blood.

As you wish, master.

Regret is a horrifying ghost that lingers with you till you become a ghost

yourself.

I know.

I should have slit your throat the night you betrayed me.

That is my deepest regret.

And I regret that I didn't stay to ensure you suffered a horrifying end. I

have loved to watch the prison rats chew the flesh from your bones as you gazed

into my hateful eyes.

Don't fall asleep.

I want you to watch your friends suffer from my blade while I drink your blood.

And that'll be your last bite, sea dog.

Listen to the rich boy who hasn't even seen a pirate before our last encounter.

Speaks like a hardened sea boy.

That and hidden behind that scepter would have killed you the first time.

Oh, I doubt that, Edward.

Your tactical maneuvers are embarrassingly novice, Idler. A ten

boy could have commanded that ship far better than you.

Maybe, but I still flunk your level.

You were adrift.

However, there will be no saving grace from your master gunner.

This time!

How does it feel, Edward?

How does it feel, Victor?

How does it feel knowing you were killed by the greatest pirate hunter that ever

lived?

I'm all right.

Jules, oh, God. Hey, Jules.

Jules, are you alive?

Jules! Jules! If you'd all stopped slapping me, Edward, I would have kicked

in the balls. Jules, you're alive.

Thank you for saving my life.

You're welcome.

I mean, Olivia.

You're welcome.

What? Edward, what are you doing here?

Why? I just saved your life.

Both of your lives. Not that anyone noticed.

Really?

I don't remember that.

I did the most courageous thing in my whole life and no one even noticed.

I believe it was very courageous.

Can we go home?

How could Edward save the day when Woo is not around?

Well, let me tell you. I killed Victor Stagnetti.

He's dead.

I don't believe you.

You don't? You don't believe me?

You must have fallen overboard.

We did it. We certainly did, Oxford.

Me so happy.

Okay, what did I tell you about clinging to me while I'm piloting my ship?

I'm your baby panda. I crave.

Okay, listen. When this battle's over, we're going over proper battle protocol.

Do you understand me?

I have baby panda rep for you.

Off me. I rub you.

Get off me. I rub you.

Do you need mint tea?

The love of gold. Could you please just give me a minute to myself?

I thought... I see that I certainly has you under a lot of strain.

How dare you speak ill of her?

She is an amazing little Chinese woman.

She makes me happy.

Which is more than I can say about you.

Just to clarify a few things... The night you tried to burn us alive, I

sleep with anybody but you.

Oh, yeah?

Why were you with him, huh? He is the captain of this ship.

I am his first mate.

I should kill you for what you did to us. I didn't do anything, okay? It was

Bernard's idea.

I don't believe you. Listen, I was going through a very emotionally disturbing

time then, okay?

I... I... I've worked... I've worked through my... I've worked through my

issues.

And I've become a better man because of it.

And I realize that I don't need you to love me because I love

myself now.

Finally.

Besides, you're not that unique.

You're just an attention whore. What's that supposed to mean? You heard me.

You don't have the capacity to love.

You're afraid to love.

You're worried that you're going to end up like I did.

Confused and looking for someone who's afraid of true love, too.

Besides, you were a sexual whore.

What? You said I was the best lover on this side of the Caribbean.

Then I met I.

What's so unique about I?

She's more passionate, she's exotic, and she knows how to pleasure a man with

her hands.

Wow. I remember pleasuring you pretty damn well.

Okay, it's different, all right? It's an Eastern thing. You just wouldn't

understand, okay?

I'm just on a different sexual plane than you. And I've been enlightened

to true pleasure with I.

Does she lick?

and vigorously stroke you till you explode out of the mouth.

And the bear!

I don't cry. I was just kissing him goodbye.

No, no, Jules.

She needs to hear the truth.

You don't rub me?

No. No, I rub you more than anything.

But I need you to give me my alone time.

Do you understand?

You rub me?

Yes, I love you.

Okay, I let you fuck her. I come back right away. Whoa, whoa.

What, you're going to let me have sex with her? Yeah, I just wanted to know

love me. You can let anybody make you happy come out, as long as you love me.

Marco. Mm -hmm?

This is fun.

Hi, would you like to stay and help our happy come out?

Oh, Panda Bear.

You make me so happy. I love you. I love you, too.

Oh, God.

Who's your captain now, Jules?

Feeling

better,

Commander?

Ship's safe, Captain. I don't know how to thank you.

No need to thank me. We're family.

Bye, Captain.

You did it.

Oh. Let's take anything.

Nothing really.

Defeating the most vicious pirate the world has ever known.

Again.

Child's play.

All in a day's work.

I'm proud of you. You were very brave.

Littleton.

Governor Littleton.

Who in his right mind will elect Littleton? as a governor.

You may enter.

Captain, may we have a word with you for a moment?

Yea, you may.

I was just writing a letter of thank you for Governor Littleton to give to the

king.

I wanted to apologize for doubting you.

You're truly a...

Brave sea warrior.

Brave? I merely did what was necessary.

That makes me just a man.

Beautiful man.

I won't argue with you there.

I wish to thank you for saving my life.

I will always be in your debt, Captain.

It was nothing.

And when we returned to Kingston, and Governor Littleton bestows upon Serena

full pardon... Then you can thank me properly.

Yes. Kingston.

Yes. About Kingston.

What about Kingston?

I was hoping we could hold off on going to Kingston for a bit. We need to get

back to Shibaba Island now.

Shibaba? Before.

I have reason to believe that my sister is being held prisoner there.

You made a decision.

We sail directly to Kingston, and then we go back to Chevalva. Edward, I've

already told you. Governor Littleton will never pardon Serena. Let's get to

Kingston. We can rectify the situation.

Why don't you let us rectify the situation, and you get us to Chevalva

What if the Royal Navy finds Serena first?

Serena's fine.

Besides, we always have you to protect her.

Look at these mighty guns of glory.

Yes, I am a mighty frigate of destruction.

We need to go back to Chevalva, Edward.

My sister needs you.

How could I possibly turn down three beautiful women in need?

However, something doesn't feel right.

Does this feel right?

Perhaps feeling immediately shababa is exactly the... proper course of action.

Now we'll inform the helmsman right away of the cart train.

We will immediately begin to set sail for Shiroma.

Rub your face in it. Rub your face in it.

Give your fucking mouth to me.

You're getting both in your fucking mouth.

Look at my fucking heart.

Oh, Jesus.

Yeah,

right there.

If you have to lift my bones, do it.

Hi.

Tell him how you've been fucking waiting for it.

Oh, yeah.

Tell him what a dirty fucking horse she is.

That's it.

That's it.

That's my dirty little slut.

Yeah, that's it.

Don't fuck my ass. Don't fuck my ass.

Don't fuck my ass.

That's my zero.

Come on.

What was the name of that island again?

So you don't remember coming on to me and saying you wanted me in your mouth

your anus. There you go telling stories again.

You practically raped me.

Right. Why would I lie about that?

Maybe you could tell me the secrets of your gunpowder. I don't teach my secrets

to the white devil.

Touche.

You're stabbing me black hot.

The back's killing me.

I panned. I cried.

Jewel.

I need to apologize for my arrogance.

No need for apologies. You helped save my life. We're even.

There might be something else that I owe you.

Commander.

Aye, Captain.

Report to the helm.

Your orders, Captain.

Keep sailing until we see the fires of hell itself. Until heaven unleashes its

light upon the darkness of evil.

Heading, Captain.

Back to Sheebulba Island.

We've got a sister to rescue.

Steady as she goes, Commander.

Steady as she goes.