Original subtitles

God, Isabella, I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am at this moment.

Life is absolute perfection, my love.

But I must admit, Manuel, I'm a little nervous.

Nervous? There's no need to be nervous.

Is it true that the Caribbean Sea is infested with murderous pirates?

Oh, yes.

But I would never let one pirate within sight, nor sound, nor breath.

But you are far too sexy.

God, I cannot wait to see your body.

I don't stop it. We're married now.

You'll get to see it soon enough.

But there's still one more change.

What if when you see my body you decide that you don't like it?

Then I guess I'll have to tell you that some lusty pirates are in need of a sex

slave.

I'm sure you're worth a gold piece or two.

Manuel, you're such an ass.

What?

Seriously.

You're now and forever my wife. Nothing will change that.

I love you for everything that you are.

Everything that you are not and everything that you will become.

Thank you, my love.

Thank God.

Heavenly perfection.

Oof.

Oh my God.

Oh my gosh!

Two hundred and sixty years I have waited for this greatness and the moment

almost arrived.

We are close.

She has given no sign that she has spotted us.

Well done.

Keep with sailing and swift up.

Aye, Captain.

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing.

Return to sleep, my love.

Where are you going, sweetheart?

I'm just going to go breathe some fresh sea air.

I'll return soon.

Manuel, have you ever seen such a heavenly night?

I tell you, in all my years of sailing, I've never seen such serenity upon the

sea. God has blessed us with peace tonight, hasn't he? Certainly has.

So how long do you think before we reach Caribbean waters?

We should arrive late morning.

That soon?

If we don't lose the calm breeze at our back. And if it picks up?

You get there before sunup.

Rest assured.

I'll get you there safely.

I have no doubt of that. You've always delivered my goods with speed and care,

Captain. Thank you, my friend.

I'll be gone with you.

You should be wrapped in with your beautiful new wife.

She's probably cold without you.

You're right, Captain.

Good night.

What's this air, my love?

The only air that I wish to breathe is that of your sweet breath.

I love you so much.

And I you.

When I get my trade post, I will shower you with anything that you desire.

I only desire you.

I know.

I just thought I would sweeten the deal a little.

You're such a fool.

Maybe I should be more foolish more often.

Line up the crew on the bow. Bring me the passengers from the deck below.

And Serena, as much as I love your methods, don't even consider killing

this time.

Sir,

if you release her, we will gladly do as you wish.

There's no need for this violent game.

Sorry, sir.

Ahoy me hearties. My name is Captain Victor Stagnetti. I sincerely apologize

any inconvenience such pirates may have caused you, but being that we are

pirates... Aye!

Sadly, this is our way.

Usually this sort of incursion ends with individuals such as yourselves

decapitated, with your heads floating in a sea for sharks to devour. However,

this sort of pirate delight does not have to occur if I'm given what I

Then what is it you desire, Captain?

I was getting to that.

I hate when I'm interrupted, don't you?

Now, I've been searching for a man for a very, very, very long time, and my

search is going to end right here and now.

Will the man with the name Manuel Valenzuela step forward to reveal

What a pretty pearl necklace.

That's enough.

I'm Manuel Valenzuela.

I am Manuel Valenzuela.

I am Manuel.

Please, let me save her. Good. I thought I was going to have to throw the entire

crew off the ship until I found you.

Captain, please.

I beg you, let me save her. No. You're far too valuable to be shark meat. That,

my friend, is a fate for your pretty lady to enjoy.

You'll stay right next to me for safety's sake.

Please, she is my wife. Don't let her die.

I beg you, please, have compassion.

Thank you, gentlemen, for your time.

You may go on your merry way, Seaman. I bid you adieu.

Gentlemen, back to the devil's room.

And my vicious lady, too.

Helmsman, prepare to set sail.

Are you really going to let her go unscathed, sir?

Of course not.

Thinker.

Captain's log, August 25th, 1763.

It has been four long weeks since we've seen any Corsairs.

The crew is grown restless and unmotivated.

I try to motivate them by teaching them swordplay, but they grow tired only

after a few minutes of practice.

Somehow my first mate, Jules, has managed to keep their spirits high.

I'm not sure how she does it. I haven't the slightest idea.

Many of the men are very inarticulate. I think that she gives them lessons by

helping them improve their oral skills or perhaps even Bible studies.

Each night I hear the sounds of praise and joy coming from her cabin that could

only be induced by earnest worship.

What's going to happen?

At least we know the good Lord will be with us on our journey. However, there's

a far more serious problem approaching.

The ship's food supplies are getting very dangerously low, and I fear that we

must return to port soon.

I have a deep desire to vanquish any pirates that we come upon, but to be

honest, I'm a little concerned.

Because Wu Chao, my gunner, cannot seem to make the new cannons fire with very

much might.

Each time the cannons fire, they smell like rotting goat fat.

Wu believes that the gunpowder needs more potassium nitrate and less sulfur.

It's not my fault. I need potassium.

The bad news is that we don't have any potassium nitrate.

But regardless, we will fight the pirates by sword or by hand to the death

necessary. As for myself, I feel confident and secure knowing that we

sight either a corsair or a cog, and then when called upon, my crew will jump

into action.

We are brave.

We are men and women born of the cold sea.

Pirates will fear us.

They will fear me.

Captain Edward Reynolds, captain of the Sea Stallion.

Edward.

Excuse me. The captain has made specific orders not to be disturbed by anyone

for anything.

Unless we're under attack, and even then.

That's quite all right, Oxford. I'll speak to the commander.

But, sir, really, it's quite necessary to complete the log. Well, once it's

begun... That's quite all right, Oxford. You are dismissed.

We will continue the log later.

I suggest that you report immediately to the Corrosionist.

Aye.

Aye, Captain.

Oxford was right. You should not have disturbed me.

Captain Seastine, it is my responsibility to make sure that all the

protocols are adhered to exactly and precisely.

As ship's captain, it is my responsibility to make sure that my

followed exactly and precisely.

As ship's captain, it is my responsibility to make sure that the

vessel are strictly adhered to. Edward, stop the charade.

What's wrong?

I'm a fool, Jules.

I'm a lousy commander.

I can't hunt pirates.

I can't even hunt tuna.

The crew, they hate me.

What are you talking about?

We've been dreaming about this since we were children.

I'm a lousy commander.

We haven't seen a ship, let alone a pirate ship, in four weeks. Four weeks!

My father was right.

I should have stayed on a tobacco plantation.

Just helped him run it.

No.

You've just lost faith in yourself.

Yes, it's true you never set foot on a boat before you brought this vessel.

Yes, it's true you've never been in combat with a man nor a pirate.

Yes, it's true you have no knowledge of the seas.

But you have a dream, and that, my friend, is stronger than any knowledge

experience. It's your fate.

What if this isn't my destiny? What if this isn't my fate?

You can what -if your whole life and die peacefully in a warm bed, or you can

make worthy of your existence and prevent pirates from inflicting

innocent people like our loved ones have to endure.

Captain! Stay at home!

Stay at home!

Well, let's see what our fate has in store.

Where's the galleon, Oxford?

Off the bow, my captain. Bow.

I don't see anything.

Look, there's something floating in the water.

Still don't see anything. Check your deadlights, Oxford.

There's somebody floating on the wood.

Man overboard.

Helmsman, bring the ship around to that debris.

Aye, come.

Coming about.

It's okay.

It's okay.

You're safe here.

Is she all right? What happened?

Yeah, she's a little disoriented.

Here, my dear.

Take this and drink it. It will help you relax.

My name is Captain Edward Reynolds, and you're safely aboard my ship, the Sea

Stallion. Are you pirates?

Pirates? No, I... Well, we... What we do work... We are pirate hunters.

Thank God. I finally thought I was going to die.

You're very much safe here.

That's what Manuel said, too.

Who's Manuel?

My husband.

Was your ship attacked by pirates?

Yeah.

We had just got married in Spain. We were destined to know Sevilla Island.

We wanted to have a family.

We're sorry.

We were woken by pirates.

Then the pirate captain told my husband to step forward and reveal himself, but

Manuel didn't.

It was then when I was thrown overboard by the pirate captain.

Do you remember his name?

I think it's that his name was Captain Victor.

Dignity.

Who is he?

Well, he's just the personification of everything that is all evil and

wrongdoing, that's all.

We must find him.

Uh, he could be halfway across the ocean by now.

Nevertheless, we must find him.

But first we'll need some more supplies and information before we start our

search. We must go to Swords Cabot Island.

Where?

It's a small island off the coast which harbors thieves.

Murderers and pirates of the Caribbean.

I have something to talk to you about.

Captain, can we talk in private?

Isabella, I want you to sleep and rest assured knowing that you're safely and

secure right here aboard my vessel.

Do you think Manolo's alive?

I don't know.

But if he is, we will find him.

I just want us to consider the danger we are about to be up against.

Can't we start with a pirate that's a little less accomplished?

If we defeat Victor Stignetti, we will strike fear in the soul of all pirates.

Think about it, Edward.

Think about what the world would write.

Really?

What would they say?

Newspapers would read, Captain Edward Reynolds saved the world once again from

murderous pirates.

Is it possible?

Oh, yeah, it's possible.

Really? Books would write about how handsome you are.

Yes, I do look good in these clothes, don't I?

They would write about your bravery.

Yes, I do look death right in the eye and kick him in the testicles. And

finally, they will read about the love you have within for all creatures.

Right on the mark.

I love so much, sometimes it hurts.

Oh, Edward, the women?

What?

The women.

Oh, yeah, the women. They will run into your arms for safety and comfort.

Yes, I do have strong arms, don't I?

Evil doesn't stand a chance against these twin hellfire cannons.

So what do you say? Are you with me, my friend?

Yes. Now and forever.

Captain Edward Reynolds, Pirate Hunter.

Faithful crew of the Sea Stallion, I am about to lead you on a perilous journey.

Into the eye of danger. A journey in which some of you, or perhaps none of

will ever return.

We are going to hunt down and kill the most notorious and dangerous of all

pirates.

Captain Victor Stagnetti and his pirate ship, the Devil's Rose.

Now... I have spoken to you before about the dangers you may encounter on a

voyage of this nature, but this is a menace like none other.

Woo, Oxford, I will not hold it against you if you do not join me.

You are my friends and my friends forever. However, those that do wish to

me, take a giant step forward now.

Remember, you will all be well rewarded by my husband when this voyage is over.

Well done.

Commander, set sail for Sword Gabbard Island.

Aye, sir!

Crew, smartly to the rigging. Aye, sir!

Well said, Captain.

Thank you, Commander.

What are we doing?

We're sailing for now.

So when the time comes... We do when the doing is done.

Crew, full speed ahead to Sword Cabot Island.

I can feel its awesome power beckoning me.

We are close, Serena. Go into town, find where the Indian resides, and then

report back to me.

As you wish.

There it is.

The brethren of liars, thieves, and murderers.

Sword Scavenger Island.

Helmsman, take us to the northern end of the island. I see a secluded place to

weigh anchor.

Aye, Captain.

Commander? Form the crew. We'll be dropping anchor and disembarking soon.

Aye, Captain.

Crewsmen, prepare to drop anchor and disembark.

We're not ready for this yet, Jules.

I know. Isn't it exciting?

Captain, are we there yet?

Almost, Woo. We're about ready to drop anchor.

Good. I can get some potassium needs and soot.

All right.

Now listen up.

Jules will be searching the west and southern end of the island. I will be

searching the northern and eastern end.

Where I'm going, Captain?

Woo. You'll search every place in between. We'll let you know if we find

anything. Aye, Captain.

Can I help?

Yes, you go with Wu.

All right.

Now we have to remain vigilant.

We are about to disembark into the tongue of the serpent.

I am looking for an Incan Indian who resides here on this island.

Can anyone tell me where he is?

Well, it isn't the infamous Serena.

The villainous Serena.

The murderous Serena.

If you do not know where the Indian is, I suggest you crawl back into that

bottle from which you came.

I do not wish to harm you.

I know where the Indian lives.

Then tell me.

So close to death, and still no answer?

Oh, I'll tell you.

It'll cost you.

The Indian lives on a mission on the west end of the island.

I believe he's a monk.

If what you have said is a lie, you will die a long and tortuous death.

I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Serena.

I don't fear death.

In fact, I invite him here nightly to drink with me, but he always seems to

stand me up.

I hope death finds you soon. I hope so, too.

On to the pool?

Right.

Well,

she looks endless. Look at his pretty dress.

Just for both of you two, sweetheart.

Hey,

step right up. She's a galleon, my friend.

Who offers me four doubloons for her?

Didn't I just give you homes for the poor?

Right then.

There you go.

God bless, sir.

Heaven is sure expensive.

If I can get there.

It's a body like that. I don't think you'll have a problem.

Thank you, ladies.

Run along, monkey.

Look at you. Aren't you a handsome boy?

And a strong one, too.

Careful. Those cannons might go off.

You are so adorable.

The name is Edward.

And yours?

I'm Madeline.

Nice to meet you.

And this is Christina.

Christina. She's the newest guest of Pink Cannonball.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.

So tell me, what is Pink Cannonball?

Well, why don't you come with us and we'll show you?

No, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't. I'm looking for somewhere.

Well, we can help you look.

We know everyone who passes through this island.

I'm looking for a pirate.

We know many, many pirates. Don't we, Madeline?

Of course we do. But it's not safe to speak of pirates in the street.

Let's go inside.

Well, I really shouldn't.

Yes, let's go inside and we'll tell you everything we know about pirates.

day you would walk through those doors again back into my life.

Marco, I'm not here to hurt you.

Oh, then I suppose you're here to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and

scrapbook of my suffering.

I don't know why I'm here. My ship landed here.

Are you still captain of HMS Dinghy Horror? Marco, why are you doing this?

I'm sorry, did I invite you to come sit down and have a drink? No, I saw you and

I thought that... Oh, you thought what? That I would unconditionally welcome

ruin and chaos back into my life?

This isn't going to work. You know what? My life doesn't work. Ever since you

left me, nothing works. Stop with your false chats.

Stop? Did my eyes stop crying when you left me?

Did my stomach stop aching with the loss of your touch? Did my pain ever stop?

No. No, Jules. It never did. So why should I stop now? What do you want?

you want me to say?

I'm a slut. I'm a whore. I'm a streetwalker.

Then I fuck every guy I encounter and I love it?

Not true. You're just making a point, you idiot.

Let's put things in perspective.

We had a few nights of decent sex. Stop being so dramatic.

Decent? I was magnificent.

Yes, you were amazing. You were magnificent.

Then why did you leave me?

I made a mistake, and I severely regret it.

Yes, I left you for another man, but I did not mean to hurt you. Hurt me? No.

You killed me, okay?

I walk around this world lifeless and without love because of you.

Okay, Marco.

I'll leave you at your peace. You know what? Even if you did leave me in peace,

I wouldn't find it.

I'm in pain with you here. I'll be in pain when you leave.

Please let me be in pain watching your beautiful face.

Can we live in this moment, in this moment alone?

Yes. Time begins and ends here. I will drink to that.

Drink up, sweetheart.

Live for tonight.

The past is but dust, and the future is but a mist.

the coming winds.

Drink up.

Tonight will be a living memory.

Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.

What are your sins, my son? What is this man tight and gagged? He's not your

concern. Any man suffering within the house of God is my concern.

I'm looking for an Indian who works and lives within these walls.

I cannot help.

Let me warn you before you speak.

If you try to lie and evade me, I will run the sword through your skull.

Who are you? What the devil are you doing here?

Don't speak the devil's name in vain.

Why would you cause another man to harm?

Because I can.

Give yourself to God, and your soul will be saved. Oh, you men of the cloth are

all the same.

Always so concerned with souls and saving.

I'm going to ask you one more time.

Then I'm going to cause so much pain to your body that your soul will feel it in

heaven. I don't fear you or death.

Good.

Serena, take the father and tie him to the altar. I think it is time that he

confesses his sins to Father Victor Stagnetti.

You are Captain Victor Stagnetti.

God help us all.

Be concerned with saving yourself.

It's a bit low tonight.

Awkward. Christina, why don't you go and get Edward some rum?

No, I shouldn't.

Nonsense. A little grog won't hurt you. Besides, you look tense.

You know, I have been under a lot of pressure lately.

Here you go, my dear.

Thank you.

It is.

Good stuff.

I'll get you another.

All right.

Come on.

Let's go rest that gorgeous body.

I dreamed the other night that my cuck was a giant, dry, massive Spanish

galleon. No. What have you always dreamed of becoming?

I want to be the greatest pirate hunter the world has ever known.

Your wish is our command.

Now, Captain Edward, close your eyes and imagine that this bed is your warship.

You're floating on an open sea of treachery.

It is night, and you are sleeping.

A pirate hunter's eyes are always open, always awake, always vigilant.

Ready to do battle at a moment's notice.

Details. It's always the details with these men.

Through the darkness.

Through the blinding snow. Through the fog.

Pirate hunter will relentlessly hunt his prey.

Nothing will stop him and nothing will stop me.

Pirate, attack.

Now, Captain Edward, it's time to taste some sweet pirate wine.

Do you have wine?

Why? His sword is so

massive. Show him that we do not fear his weapons.

Aye, aye, Captain.

I want to taste your mac and corn.

I'm the greatest pirate in the world.

You're the greatest pirate hunter in the world!

I

am

the greatest pirate.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Come on.

All the way.

All the way. Come on.

Yes.

Yes. Oh my god.

Yeah.

That's my girl.

That's my girl.

Great sex, drinking, meeting the world's most feared pirate.

Who would that be?

Captain Victor Stignetti's first mate, Serena.

You met Victor Stignetti?

No, I met his first mate. We traded wits, and she almost killed me.

What is she doing here?

I don't know. She was looking for some Indian that was in the mission on the

west end of town.

Did she say where she was going?

No.

Why do you care?

I'm just curious about pirates.

I love you.

Okay.

Well?

What do you want me to say?

Nothing. Nothing?

Nothing. It's obviously something, Marco.

You know what would it kill you to say that you love me, too? What happened to

yesterday's dusk and tomorrow's mist? Well, tomorrow's here, and it doesn't

me very much. Marco.

You know what, Jules? Just leave me. Just go be a horse somewhere else.

it.

Wait, what are you doing?

It's clear. I tried to enjoy this night with you, and it's clear. That's not

going to happen. Jules, no, please don't go. Don't say a word.

Okay, all right, listen. Maybe I overreacted. Maybe I was a little too

I mean, my mother always thought that I would be a great actor.

Well, maybe she makes believe that I'm staying so you won't be lonely. No,

Jules, where are you going? No, I can't risk losing you again.

Here's your coffee, darling.

Thank you, my dear.

Go away.

He's done.

I must say that I'm a little nervous in your presence.

Christina and Madeline told me that you were a pirate hunter.

I've always wanted to meet a real pirate hunter.

I'm just a man.

A great man, but just a man.

You look so strong.

No pirate could withstand your brute force.

Well, it's not my...

mighty sinew that has defeated so many, many pirates.

It's my knowledge of the sea which has guided me so gleefully.

You're not only beautiful, but your words are poetry.

It's so hard being so smart, so intelligent.

Sometimes people don't understand what I'm saying.

Captain Victor Stagnetti wouldn't stand a chance against your superior wit.

So you've heard of Captain Victor Stagnetti.

Of course.

Everyone has.

In fact, he's here in town as we speak.

Victor, here?

Where? A few of his men just left to go to Blackbrew.

Blackbrew? Where is that?

It's two blocks down on your left. What are you going to do there?

What I was born to do.

I'm going to hunt and kill pirates.

You're so noble.

Kiss me.

I must depart.

I'll go with you. We'll fight Victor together.

No.

There's something I need to do all alone.

No, please.

I can't stand the smell here anymore. I can't even remove that disgusting scent

of those pirates from my body.

Please, take me with you. I must go.

But when I come back, I will make sure that those nasty, dirty pirates never

touch you again.

Edward!

I love you.

You must go.

No, I need you. Women, Christina, help me.

Come on, girl, let go.

You've got work to do.

No, I never want to work here again.

I found my true love.

Let go of me, you bitches.

Run, Edward, run.

I'll be with you soon, my love.

Your tolerance for pain is remarkable.

Why won't you tell me where the Indian lives?

I'm not going to hurt him. I made him promise.

It's only a matter of time. I will find him anyway.

Why are you doing this to me?

Because it is so wrong.

In so many ways, that's what makes it so pleasurable.

Serena, wipe the blood from his lips. I want to hear his suffering clearly.

My child.

Give him this wretched pond.

God will help you.

Too late.

Let God be the judge of this.

I'm glad you mentioned that.

Leave him alone.

Good timing.

I didn't want you to miss this.

No!

Why? Why did you do that?

I'm sorry, old friend.

You have ran around the world trying to escape me. And look at what horror it

has brought upon this man. I have the descendant and the knife. It is your

birthright to show me what I want to see.

Follow me.

Serena, hide the priest's body.

Keep watch.

When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a sorcerer.

A sorcerer? Why a sorcerer? What do you mean? Why not a sorcerer?

Yeah, I don't know about that one.

The captain will certainly be satisfied with her.

My mother taught me the truth, how to make black power.

Someday I will learn to be a sorcerer.

And maybe I can see my father again.

How about you?

What do you want to be?

Isabella!

Isabella! Where are you?

Where is the dagger of Atahualpa?

If you fail, you will drown in the blood of the innocent.

You do realize that if he is not the true descendant, he will die, and we

all drown in the blood of the innocent.

Proceed.

Atahualpa! Atahualpa!

Atahualpa! Tino Pichiappa!

Is he still alive?

I could untie him and gather the stuff.

Stop right there!

Brother, I know you're not a priest, but I need to confess to someone.

Follow me, my child.

Tell me your sins.

I've killed many men.

That's not all.

Go on.

I've had premarital sex with men and women.

Participated in many lustful orgies. Really?

What?

Continue.

I've aided in the killing of a priest.

I don't want this life anymore.

I want all this death to stop.

Do you hear me, brother?

Brother.

Serena, what are you doing?

I thought I heard something.

Our work is done here.

Wasn't that a lovely sermon the father gave?

We'll have to come again next time, won't we?

Serena, perhaps you participate in communion next time.

Oh, well.

Let's get off this stagnant island.

I don't have any more money for you. Edward.

Jules. Jules, I got some exciting news for you. No, I have to tell you

about Victor Spaghetti. I have something to tell you. I do too.

Me first. Me first.

Okay, so I go up to the pink cannonball. And first, I walk through the door.

And the furniture doesn't really match the decorum. But the tap is... Edward!

Edward! Yes!

Anyway, through some creative intellect and through a little bit of research, I

have discovered that right now, as we speak, on this island, Victor Stagnetti

here as we breathe.

Why are you wearing this robe?

What did I tell you? She's a whore to the bone.

The witch's crotch ain't even dry yet.

The harpy's got her talons in another swabby.

Who are you? Shut your mouth, landlubber.

Marcus, why are you doing this? Is this your new victim?

No, I've known him since I was a child. He is my captain.

What's that?

I'll tell you what that is.

Captain is a sexual pet name she has for him. That's what it means.

Sea witch.

I love you so much. I wish you didn't even exist.

And when you act like this, I wish you didn't exist. Shut your mouth.

Don't worry, matey. She won't be hurting any more men.

And what does that mean?

What that means is I'm not going to allow you to hurt another man.

This is all one big misunderstanding.

Silence!

We're both going to die.

What?

What?

She's done to you.

Yeah, but maybe she could turn over a new leaf. I mean, maybe if she and I

some time together, maybe we could, like, get it back to the way it was

Maybe my balls could turn into breasts. Don't be foolish.

She's incapable of loving anyone.

I don't know what to do.

Marco, look at me. You're a great white shark, matey.

With huge daggers for teeth.

And you're swimming around in the oceans and seas of this world.

And out there in front of you is nothing but tender vittles.

Dolphins. Tuna.

Their sweet little bodies.

And all you gotta do is take a bite.

Those big dagger teeth.

Your Spanish gold, matey.

Spanish gold.

The blooms.

You're telling me you don't know what to do with these big dagger teeth?

You're right.

I'm gold. I'm Spanish gold.

You're a shark. I'm a shark.

Let's burn this place down and hit them dolphins, maybe.

Yeah. Yeah.

Nice work, Jules.

It's not my fault.

I thought you were a virgin.

Edward, do you smell something?

What?

Something's burning.

Yeah. Yeah, it's probably your pussy from all the action you've been doing.

Will you shut up and think? How are we going to get out of here?

What do we do now, Jules?

Oh, no. Edward?

What was your news?

I found out about Victor, and I know where he's going.

Where? What was your news about Victor?

You're absolutely right, Jules.

Something definitely is burning.

I don't think it's your crotch.

Oh, no. I think manners may have just gotten worse.

Does this mister have to see a pretty lady carried by two men?

There's always a pretty lady being carried around by two men.

It wouldn't be a normal day if it wasn't.

See, Boris just took a young lady down to the cellar. Thank you, sir.

I wouldn't go down there if I was you.

Edward, my love. Angelina, just in time. Untie us. No.

No? Yes.

No. What do you mean, no? Are we just going to let us die in here?

Maybe. Please, untie us. This place is about to collapse.

Edward has to prove that he loves me. How?

Make love to me.

Here and now.

Here and now? You don't want to go someplace safe?

No. It must be now. We could all die in here.

I would rather die than not to have your love inside of me.

Edward, fuck her now.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I'll do it.

Better satisfy me.

Thank you

Hmm.

Can we untie her and go?

Thank you, ladies.

That was quite lovely.

I'm sorry we grabbed you like that, but our other dancer didn't show up.

How can we pay you for your service?

Well, I can use some potassium nitrate. Potassium nitrate? What does a woman

need that for?

I have a rat problem in my house.

Well, then you are in luck. This is a supply room for black powder.

Take as much as you like.

I'm a serenity. Well, thank you.

You're the best partner I've ever had.

Have you ever been with a woman?

Actually, no.

Have some balls, my friend!

But I want to live the life of a pirate hunter!

There's not a life for delicate flowers such as yourself.

But... No buts.

One day I promise I'll return to the pink cannonball. You promise with all

heart? Yeah.

The whole thing.

Bye -bye.

She's insane.

Yeah, I know.

Serena.

You disappoint me.

What do you mean?

Are you losing your cruelty?

Becoming more... Passionate?

No, Victor.

Good.

Otherwise, I would have no use for you.

Helmsman, weigh anchor.

Prepare to sail southwest until next morning.

Aye, aye, sir.

This is where we're going.

Calvary's Island.

No one have ever come back from there alive.

You couldn't say that, but somebody had.

Good point, Edward.

Thank you, Will.

Good evening.

I love him so much, and now he's just gone.

Isabella, if he is alive, I promise we will find him.

Even if we do find him, he's just not going to love me anymore.

What do you mean?

I broke my vow to be faithful to him.

You were married seven days. Who did you sleep with?

Don't tell me you slept with Wu Chao. No, no, no.

I was captured by pirates.

Some pirates were throwing a bachelor party for the captain, and...

They only have one girl to put on a show.

You enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it.

You didn't do anything that horrible.

Besides, most men like women sleeping with other women.

Really? Absolutely. They encourage it. Maybe Manuel will, too. I love Manuel so

much, and I just can't see myself being with another man.

But just something about her is just so different.

A woman knows how a woman wants to be touched.

I like being touched by women, too.

You do?

Yes.

Can I feel it again with you?

I don't know that.

Fuck yeah.

Yeah?

Flap me harder.

Yeah? Yeah.

Fuck it.

Oh, you have a nice face.

You like this shit? Yeah. You like this shit? Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah.

I'll lick it.

Yeah.

That's the baby.

That's the baby.

Yeah, what are you going to do now?

What am I going to do now? That you fucked me. Yeah? Yeah. That you fucked

before.

Yeah. Soak me. Can I get a bit? Come on, fucking soak me.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Yeah. Fuck this shit up, baby.

Yeah.

Lucky pirate captain I am to have such beauty and lethality at my command.

I am blessed by the demons of the sea that you are not hunting little old me.

I am your first mate. You are my captain.

Until death do us part.

You're all done, Jules.

I'm fine.

That's an order, Commander. You're relieved of duty. Go to bed.

You can't kill him tonight.

Besides, I need you strong on the time trial.

I never thought such talismans could be found within a man.

It'll all be over soon.

Trust me.

Please.

What happened here?

What are all these ships?

These are the ships of those who have failed in the task which I am about to

triumph upon.

Look.

Can you see her in the distance?

Calaveras Island.

Serena, get Manuel.

Where are we?

Are all the ships dead?

We're close to Calaveras Island. It should be straight ahead.

I can feel death.

Permeating my very skin.

I can feel it, too.

Hold me, Wu.

Get away.

Hold yourself. Knock it off, both of you. The only thing you have to worry

permeating your skin is Victor's blade. Now, it could be anywhere.

There it is. Devil's Rose.

Everyone remain calm.

Looks like he's anchoring on the west end of the island.

Let me see.

I don't think he's spotted us. Nevertheless, we'll have to assume that

Helmsman, take us to the east end of the island, quietly.

Isabella, Oxford, arm yourself.

We're going to Calvarius Island. It could be dangerous and it could be a

Oxford! Yes, my captain.

Oxford, you stay with the boat.

Aye, my captain.

Listen, you've got to remain absolutely quiet.

We don't want to make any noise. We want to alert Victor or his men the fact

that we're here, okay?

Aye, my captain.

All right, let's go.

Stay with me.

Stay close.

Once we are inside, do not touch anything.

Stay behind me.

Doc, wait.

It looks like a trap.

Stand back.

Let's learn let's go

Look

there's a light up

This is it.

Are you sure?

Are you sure you don't want Scott around first?

No. This is the image I saw.

Okay.

Follow me.

But stay close. Who knows what dangers may lurk within the dark abyss.

There you are my ancient friend.

It's so beautiful.

It'll be even more beautiful once it's in my hand.

I agree.

This is not a heavy cave.

I don't know. I just feel like we should have brought more men.

What? More men?

We don't need more men.

My body is a battalion of destruction.

Anyone who dares.

What was that?

Relax. I just stepped on a rock.

It's okay. I was just testing your reflexes.

Let's keep moving.

Your ancestors saved Prince Atahualpa from the Conquistador, and your family

bestowed the honor of guardian of the Scepter of Inca. Only a true blood

descendant of the original guardian can retrieve the Scepter.

You.

So, here we are.

Now give me the Scepter so I can show the world who is king.

Isabella, you're alive.

No, don't hurt him.

I can play like you.

Release him or I'll kill your four.

Do it.

I'd be glad to rid me of her scurvy vagina.

What?

Nobody's going to stop me from wielding the power of the scepter.

Give it up, Victor.

The forces of evil are always outweighed by the forces of good.

Oh, I never got to finish my victory speech.

Oh, well.

Kill them.

Kill them all.

I thought we were partners.

Sorry, my dear.

Have a nice death.

Bones. Is that the best you got, Pirate Wizard? Bones?

They can't be that bad. They're just skeletons.

Dead skeletons tell no tales.

Ashes to ashes.

Bones to dust.

It's all right, everyone.

Don't need to worry. I'm unscathed.

Got a little tangled up there. Sorry I couldn't free myself in time to help you

vanquish your foe.

I think they're coming back.

Now's your chance, Edward.

Fuck that shit. Run!

Run!

It's time to celebrate.

Ah, well done, Captain.

How does being second commander of the world sound to you? Be an honor.

Well, let's spread the news.

Pirates, let's get this piece of wood to drift in. All men to the rigging.

cabin below deck.

We have to catch Victor before he sets sail.

He will be sailing south from the west side of the island. It will cut him off.

Wager and set sail for the south side of the island.

All hands prepare and make way.

There she is.

All hands to battle stations.

Launch your cannons!

Pass her on the port side.

Aye, Captain.

She's coming around our port side.

How do you know?

I don't know.

But it's all the fun part of sailing.

Steady, boys. She's almost in position.

Get ready, crew. She's almost upon us. Stand fast, men!

Shiver me timbers to full survive.

I was yours to destroy.

She's such a pretty ship, though.

Keep coming, asked the pirate.

Fire at will!

The mizzenmast and the rudder have been damaged.

Dammit, you bloody pirates! I just cleaned the rudder!

Death to those pirates, scallywags!

Woo! Fire!

How about you fix this, Wu?

It's not my fault!

It's not my fault! Please tell me this is part of your plan to make him think

that our weapons don't work. No, but you can give me credit if my next plan

works. What?

Come about and let me finish the man if we're off.

He's coming around again.

Okay, I've got a new plan of action. Wu! Make those cannons work, or we're all

dead. Fuck it! Now you the haunting!

Wait, she's almost there.

She's a fish without a tail.

Point the six -pounder at her hole and fire!

Whoa! You're the only one that can save us now. Make those cannons work!

Too much pressure, Edward!

I don't walk well under the pressure!

Come to Papa Broadside.

There it...

What? You ready? Ready.

Woo! Fire the cannon!

Fire in the hole!

Shoot me! He's got us!

From Davy Jones' locker, I stab at thee!

I didn't. I shit in my pants.

It is over.

I thunk the devil's rose.

We're really pirate hunters now.

Guess my plans weren't so bad after all, were they?

So good to look in your eyes again.

I miss swimming in their beauty.

I miss you as well.

But I must confess something to you. What?

I was not faithful to you.

What do you mean?

I slept with a woman.

Well, not just one woman, but two.

You did?

Yeah, but I didn't mean for it to happen the first time.

The second time I started it.

Did you enjoy it?

Yes.

Would you do it again?

Yes. Do you hate me?

No.

I love you.

Do you think maybe that sometime I can see you with another woman?

Maybe you could join us too.

I knew I married the right woman.

What's up here?

Fuck yeah!

Yeah.

happy to see her, or should we have her walk the plane?

Yeah. It is good to be together once again.

I cannot thank you enough for taking care of my wife.

Please. No reason to thank me. Besides, she took care of us.

Edward, I don't even know how to begin to thank you.

You've been a magnificent gift.

He just did.

Are you alright?

I thought he loved me.

He couldn't love.

Evil is incapable of such beauty.

I lied to myself.

I wanted to belong to something.

I killed for him.

I was up vicious.

Murderer.

That life is over.

You can be whatever you want to be. You're free now.

To do what?

To make peace.

To live a life of honor and virtue. With us.

I'm a pirate.

No.

You helped us.

You are now and forever a pirate hunter.

Thank you.

Oh shit.

I fucking knew it.

Like it.

math like a cookie.

What are you going to do now?

These waters are full of thousands of pirates.

So I've heard.

One down.

And a thousand more to go.

Drink up, me hearties.

Serena is now hunting bees.