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1
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:22,700
Oh, why doesn't somebody move this?
2
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,934
- Hi.
- Hi.
3
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:31,400
- Have you seen Al?
- Too many times.
4
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,900
I can't believe he's not here yet.
5
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:37,934
- Oh, don't worry. I'm sure he's okay.
- Who cares if he's okay?
6
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:41,533
We've got 25 minutes to get
to the closing of Johnny B. Goode's.
7
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,600
They're tearing it down tomorrow morning.
8
00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:47,533
- The burger place?
- It is much more than a burger place.
9
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,533
They've got fries.
10
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:55,033
You know, it's really a shame that they
would tear down a landmark like that.
11
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,800
People come from miles around
just to get a burger...
12
00:01:57,967 --> 00:02:02,200
...And to look at the grease stain on
the wall where Al used to rest his head.
13
00:02:02,700 --> 00:02:06,900
And to think some people
waste their time going to Yellowstone.
14
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,700
You know, it's really gonna be
a night to remember.
15
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:13,834
After all the people who have tickets
get in, they're gonna close the doors.
16
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:18,166
Then people all over town are gonna
honk their horns in a fond farewell.
17
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:21,734
Sort of like Al does
in a funeral procession.
18
00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:24,767
Well, it sounds like you've got
a lot of memories there.
19
00:02:24,934 --> 00:02:26,667
More than anywhere else.
20
00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:31,767
It's where I met the man I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with.
21
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:34,200
And I met Al there too.
22
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,734
Where could he be?
Oh, well. He wouldn't miss this.
23
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:42,400
This is one of the few places
that still lets him in.
24
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:45,033
So I see you're all ready
for your big night.
25
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,300
Well, it's not just my big night.
26
00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:50,266
I hope my dinner party goes well.
27
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:53,567
See, if I get the manager's position
at Kyoto National...
28
00:02:53,734 --> 00:02:56,834
...Then Steve is in line
for my old job at our bank.
29
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,867
I was hoping they'd give it to a woman...
30
00:02:59,033 --> 00:03:01,867
...But out of respect for Steve,
I'm staying neutral.
31
00:03:02,066 --> 00:03:03,700
That's nice.
32
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,734
It was so nice of you to let us keep our
poached salmon in your refrigerator.
33
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,900
Ours was so full already.
34
00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:11,467
Al didn't touch it, did he?
35
00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:14,934
No. He actually liked having it around.
36
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,967
He said it gave the refrigerator
kind of a foody smell.
37
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:22,900
Well, I'm off to cement our future.
38
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,934
Look at my dress. Look at my fish!
39
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:37,533
- Look at my floor.
- I've gotta go home and change.
40
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:41,367
- Keep an eye on my fish.
- It's keeping an eye on you.
41
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,800
Oh, my God.
The bankers just pulled up.
42
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,200
You sure it's not Al?
43
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,300
Al doesn't drive a Mercedes
with the license plate "Yen Men."
44
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,266
I can't go over there like this!
45
00:03:56,467 --> 00:04:00,800
- You could wear something of mine.
- Maybe I can go over there like this.
46
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:04,000
No. I can wash this out by hand
and throw it in your dryer.
47
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:05,967
That should only take 15 minutes.
48
00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:09,433
- Well, what about your company?
- Oh, Steve can stall for that long.
49
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,934
He'll just show them our
river-rafting slides. Got any Woolite?
50
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:17,600
Oh, yeah. I got some
as a gag gift for my birthday.
51
00:04:17,967 --> 00:04:20,767
- It's upstairs in the bathroom.
- Thanks.
52
00:04:20,934 --> 00:04:24,166
You can keep it,
but just leave me the bow.
53
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:33,600
Al loves Peggy.
54
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,033
Sorry I'm late, but I was in such a rush...
55
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,800
...I sideswiped a car parked out
in front of Steve and Marcy's house.
56
00:04:40,967 --> 00:04:45,200
If they can afford to buy a Mercedes,
they can afford to pay for it.
57
00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:50,734
- Didn't you leave a note?
- Sure. "Next time, buy American."
58
00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:54,500
Come on, Peg, hurry up.
We gotta get to the restaurant.
59
00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:57,433
We're in the group that's going in first.
60
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,667
- Number eight.
- How did you get such a low number?
61
00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:04,800
Know how Bud's complaining
I don't let him stay out late enough?
62
00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:07,500
So I told him he could sleep
on the sidewalk last night...
63
00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:10,000
...At Johnny B. Goode's,
and he got us number eight.
64
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,300
Bud wasn't home last night?
65
00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:16,867
Oh, well. At least he was
doing something worthwhile.
66
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:21,567
Man, I'm starved. I can't wait to sink my
teeth into those burgers one last time.
67
00:05:21,734 --> 00:05:24,166
And those great fries.
I still hold the record.
68
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:26,200
I can still eat ten bags in one sitting.
69
00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:28,834
Oh, you are great, honey.
70
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,800
Stinks in here. What's that thing?
71
00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:38,133
Oh, that's Marcy's fish.
She spilled it on her dress.
72
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,400
She's upstairs washing it out.
73
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:43,700
Look. I wrote you something.
74
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,633
"Al loves Piggy."
75
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,300
- That ought to be an E, Al.
- I'll fix it.
76
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:52,967
I think I got the stain out.
77
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,800
Oh, Al, I didn't know you were here.
78
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:00,734
Well, there goes my appetite.
79
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,567
And my favorite towel.
80
00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:07,133
Marcy, I'll put that in the dryer for you.
81
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,600
Who's been playing in my fish?
82
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:17,033
Let's go, let's go, let's go! After they
get past number eight, we can't get in.
83
00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:19,000
Oh, I'm ready, Al.
84
00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:20,800
I'm sorry, Marce, but we gotta go.
85
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:23,567
I'll be okay. Does the dryer
buzz when it's finished?
86
00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:25,600
How would I know?
87
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:28,333
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
88
00:06:28,533 --> 00:06:31,800
Okay, okay, okay.
89
00:06:32,233 --> 00:06:35,233
- My life is over.
- That's nice, honey.
90
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,800
If you're hungry,
there's sandwiches on the table...
91
00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:40,700
...And little fish bits on the floor.
92
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,166
- Life stinks.
- Yeah, well, it doesn't get any better.
93
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,200
We'll be at Johnny B. Goode's.
94
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:51,834
Wait a minute, Al.
We can't go with Kelly like this.
95
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:55,166
Why not? Life will stink tomorrow.
96
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:56,600
I know mine will.
97
00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:01,734
All right, all right.
Kelly, this usually takes an hour.
98
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:04,200
I say, "What's the matter?"
You say, "Nothing."
99
00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:08,567
I say, "I know something's wrong.
What is it?" You say, "Nothing."
100
00:07:08,734 --> 00:07:12,367
- So let's cut the crap. What's wrong?
- Nothing.
101
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,533
Come on, honey, I know
something's wrong. What is it?
102
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,266
And keep in mind I haven't
eaten anything all day.
103
00:07:19,433 --> 00:07:24,033
Okay. Judy's having a party for all the
kids who count, and I wasn't invited.
104
00:07:24,233 --> 00:07:28,033
Honey, if they were really your friends,
they would have invited you.
105
00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:31,767
Well, thanks a lot, Mom. What you're
trying to tell me is I have no friends.
106
00:07:31,934 --> 00:07:34,200
That's great. Why don't you
really cheer me up...
107
00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:37,900
...And tell me again how lucky I am
to have inherited the Bundy forehead?
108
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,834
I can't believe it.
109
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,633
I just have to face it.
I'm not popular anymore.
110
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,533
And I've got the forehead of a dolphin.
111
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:51,734
- Hey, that's one smart fish.
- Oh, I'm ruined.
112
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,967
At least we'll know where she is tonight.
113
00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:58,600
- I'd better go up and talk to her.
- Peg, we got number eight.
114
00:07:58,767 --> 00:08:00,600
We got seven minutes to get there.
115
00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:04,100
If she starts crying, give her money.
That always works with you.
116
00:08:04,834 --> 00:08:05,967
I don't know.
117
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:10,000
My parents never talked to me when
I had a problem, and I turned out fine.
118
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:13,667
We're never gonna make it.
I got an idea.
119
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:16,300
Do you see a fish eye?
120
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:19,166
No, but I see a chicken leg.
121
00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:25,333
Hello, Johnny B. Goode's?
Who's this?
122
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,333
Hey, Spike, it's Al.
Hey, you got a minute?
123
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,934
The hell with the People magazine
interview. Do me a favor.
124
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:33,600
You know my friend Fat Charlie?
125
00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,033
Yeah, the fat one. Yeah.
126
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,133
Well, he's got number 50,
and I got number eight.
127
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,000
Would you mind if I traded with him?
128
00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:42,834
Great. Would you go out
in the parking lot and tell him?
129
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,767
Yeah, I'll get there when I can, okay?
Yeah. Rock 'n' roll forever.
130
00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:50,333
Come on, Peg.
The fries aren't getting any younger.
131
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,200
Neither are you.
132
00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:55,367
Marcy, I got three questions for you:
133
00:08:55,533 --> 00:08:59,233
What are you doing in a towel, what do
I do with the Takahashi brothers...
134
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,734
...Why didn't you tell me you mixed
our rafting slides...
135
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:04,834
...In with the ones of your sister
giving birth to the twins?
136
00:09:06,834 --> 00:09:10,166
Well, number one, I spilled.
137
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:13,834
Number two, get out our camera
and ask them how to use it.
138
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:18,400
And number three, it's for a lecture
that I'm giving at our women's group.
139
00:09:18,567 --> 00:09:23,100
"Childbirth and River Rafting:
Two of Nature's Bumpy Rides."
140
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:27,934
Now, go home, go upstairs,
get me a dress, and hurry!
141
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,033
- Which dress?
- The power dress.
142
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,967
Now, go!
143
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:38,533
Peg, does the phrase "Hurry
the hell up" mean anything to you?
144
00:09:38,734 --> 00:09:40,266
I've taken care of everything.
145
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:44,700
We are one phone call away
from this whole thing being settled.
146
00:09:46,033 --> 00:09:47,333
Hello?
147
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,233
Kelly, it's for you!
148
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:52,367
That should do it.
149
00:09:52,533 --> 00:09:55,767
Marcy, make yourself at home.
Watch TV if you'd like.
150
00:09:55,934 --> 00:10:00,000
Oh, and don't pet the dog.
He might expect it from us.
151
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,800
Come on, Peg. Hurry up.
152
00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:08,934
People magazine's down there.
We might get our picture taken.
153
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,066
Come on!
154
00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:18,100
Mom! How could you?
155
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,967
You made her mother invite me?
156
00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:24,133
It was bad enough not being
invited in the first place.
157
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:27,834
But now I'm the crybaby who had her
mother call and beg to invite the nerd.
158
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,400
That's what I am now. The nerd.
159
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:33,600
I spent 15 years bleaching
and dyeing and piercing...
160
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:38,166
...Just to create this awesome image,
and it is shot to hell with a phone call.
161
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:40,400
Oh, Daddy.
162
00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:46,367
But I was number 50.
163
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:53,000
Honey, I know
how you're feeling right now...
164
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:56,200
...But, look, things aren't
as bad as they seem.
165
00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:58,033
Even nerds get married.
166
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,133
Look at Marcy.
167
00:11:00,867 --> 00:11:04,100
Great. That's just how
I wanna spend my life.
168
00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:08,667
Sitting there in my natural hair color,
fondling a dead fish.
169
00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:12,300
Let me handle this, Al.
170
00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:15,433
Kelly, honey, your friends
are mad at you now...
171
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:20,367
...But you'll be a celebrity when they
see our picture in People magazine.
172
00:11:20,567 --> 00:11:23,834
I'll be there with my hands tied
behind my back, eating bags of fries.
173
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,533
And I'll be leading the crowd...
174
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:29,667
...Cheering, "Chug a spud!
Chug a spud! Chug a spud!"
175
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:32,734
Oh, how proud I'll be.
176
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:36,967
Look, you guys just go and have
a good time. I'll be okay.
177
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:40,400
If I'm gonna be a nerd, fine.
I can deal with it.
178
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:44,066
In fact, I'll start practicing right now.
179
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:50,100
Read any good books lately,
Mrs. Rhoades?
180
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,533
As a matter of fact, I have.
181
00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:56,867
It's called The Living Planet.
182
00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:58,900
Would you kill me with it, please?
183
00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:03,800
No, look, you guys just go.
I mean, after all...
184
00:12:03,967 --> 00:12:05,600
...If I had a chance to have fun...
185
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,633
...I wouldn't let one of your problems
stop me from going.
186
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,200
Of course, I'm not a parent.
187
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:15,133
Our little Kelly is really growing up, Al.
188
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:20,467
Sit up, dear. That's how
you get the Bundy forehead.
189
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:23,734
Come on, Peg.
We're running out of time!
190
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,734
Hi, Dad. Mom.
191
00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:30,133
Hi, Bud. Honey, there's dinner on the
table right next to your sister's head.
192
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,467
- Where'd you put my car?
- What car?
193
00:12:32,667 --> 00:12:35,600
Dad, tonight's the finals
for the Run 'Em and Wreck 'Em Rally.
194
00:12:35,767 --> 00:12:38,300
I've got post position in an hour.
195
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,133
Are there gonna be
any nerds there? I'll come.
196
00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,467
You weren't invited, Kel.
197
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:47,133
Bud, are you sure I promised you?
198
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,166
Dad, you said you'd fix it last night...
199
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:52,400
...If I'd sit on the cold pavement
in front of Johnny B. Goode's...
200
00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:55,367
...With a bunch of sad old geezers
singing Beach Boys songs.
201
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,000
But did I promise?
202
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,100
Get the car, Bud.
203
00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,200
We're never gonna make it.
204
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,633
I probably don't have
enough time to fix the car.
205
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,600
Here, Peg. You go and have a good time.
206
00:13:12,066 --> 00:13:15,033
That's sweet, Al.
But I can't go without you.
207
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,400
My memories of Johnny B. Goode's
are of us being together.
208
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,367
I'm glad to hear that. Because I had
no intention of giving you this ticket.
209
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,934
Hurry up, Bud! Never wanted
to get married, I'm married.
210
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:28,967
Never wanted kids, I got two.
How the hell did this happen?
211
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,734
Hello, Spike? Al. Listen...
212
00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:39,867
...Is No-Jaw McKenzie there?
Yeah, the one with no jaw.
213
00:13:40,533 --> 00:13:42,367
Is she there?
214
00:13:42,533 --> 00:13:45,633
Great. Listen, she's got number 110.
215
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,967
Tell her I'll trade
my number 50 for it, okay?
216
00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:51,934
Yeah, thanks. Yeah, rock 'n' roll--
Yeah, something.
217
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,600
Give me the car, get out of my way.
218
00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:59,900
Nice to spend these father-son
moments together, Dad.
219
00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:02,233
Shut up, I'm trying to read.
220
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,333
Oh, great. This is Japanese.
Oh, here we go.
221
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:12,500
These aren't instructions.
It's the history of World War II.
222
00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:14,700
Oh, here it is.
223
00:14:16,934 --> 00:14:19,767
Hell. More people we should have killed.
224
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:24,166
Where's American?
Oh, here it is.
225
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:25,367
Here it is.
226
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:29,700
"Battery check before
to put cable on be sure."
227
00:14:29,867 --> 00:14:33,567
- Will you hurry up, Al?
- I'll quit lollygagging here any minute.
228
00:14:33,734 --> 00:14:38,300
Bud, here. Put these batteries
in something. See if they work.
229
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,700
Dad, can I ask you something real quick?
230
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:45,900
Yeah, okay. What?
231
00:14:46,066 --> 00:14:49,200
Why is Mrs. Rhoades in our living room
wearing your favorite towel?
232
00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:53,367
Wanna hear a long, boring story about
a boring woman or want your car fixed?
233
00:14:54,867 --> 00:15:00,433
All right. "Put the red terminal
in the les conduises."
234
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,567
Oh, my friends the French again.
235
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:08,533
"The conductor." Why don't they just
say, "Put the red wire in the hole"?
236
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,567
Oh, here it is.
"Put the red wire in the hole."
237
00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:13,000
So typical.
238
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:17,467
Solving the male child's problems while
your daughter takes the back seat.
239
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,533
You should be used to that, Kel.
240
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,934
I know there was a mix-up
in the maternity ward.
241
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:31,100
Somewhere in a game preserve,
two orang-utans are picking lice...
242
00:15:31,266 --> 00:15:34,066
...Off the head of my real baby brother.
243
00:15:35,266 --> 00:15:37,033
Al, talk to Kelly.
244
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,967
How was your day, honey?
You're standing in my light, Kelly.
245
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:43,567
- Daddy...
- You wanted advice, I gave you advice.
246
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,600
You didn't want advice,
I left you alone.
247
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:48,233
Now you want advice again.
Okay. Here it is--
248
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:52,300
- I am not a monkey.
- We know, son.
249
00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:58,934
- Is my dress ready yet?
- For your body? No.
250
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,834
I'll go check on it.
251
00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:06,367
Kelly, there were plenty of parties
I wasn't invited to when I was a kid.
252
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,600
There's a mystery.
253
00:16:09,734 --> 00:16:12,433
Here's another one: what the
hell's holding that towel up?
254
00:16:16,867 --> 00:16:20,767
So to continue, Kelly,
I just showed up.
255
00:16:20,934 --> 00:16:23,166
I just stood there, big smile on my face.
256
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:27,033
I said, "I'm here"
and went straight for the food.
257
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,533
Sure they didn't want me,
but I had a great time.
258
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,166
And if they didn't, too bad.
The important thing is...
259
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:34,233
...You wanna be there, be there.
260
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,700
Even if they hate you.
261
00:16:35,867 --> 00:16:39,033
You're a Bundy. Start acting like one.
262
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:43,867
- I'm going to my room.
- That's a girl, go where you wanna go.
263
00:16:44,066 --> 00:16:46,066
I'm taking the binoculars.
264
00:16:46,233 --> 00:16:49,433
If I can't be there, at least I can see
the lights from my room.
265
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,033
If I can fit the strap over my forehead.
266
00:16:55,066 --> 00:16:58,266
Dad, I sure hope you're better
at fixing cars than lives.
267
00:16:58,433 --> 00:17:00,667
You call these lives?
268
00:17:01,266 --> 00:17:04,500
- Almost ready, Marce.
- How long does it take to dry a dress?
269
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:08,066
Well, in the machine's defense,
Al fixed that too.
270
00:17:08,233 --> 00:17:11,200
I have an announcement.
Shut up.
271
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:16,000
Where's Steve? How long does it take
to go upstairs and find a dress?
272
00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:18,233
It's not like he's
going through his stuff.
273
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,667
His stuff has to be all
folded very carefully...
274
00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:25,633
...And neatly put away in his drawers,
all color-coded like his stupid socks.
275
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,066
Does Al have a sock drawer?
276
00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:30,000
Yeah. It's called the floor.
277
00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:32,900
Johnny B. Goode's is sure hopping tonight.
278
00:17:33,066 --> 00:17:34,433
Batteries work, Dad.
279
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,266
Yes, it's closing night
at Johnny B. Goode's.
280
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:41,600
- But we're having some fun, aren't we?
- Yeah!
281
00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:44,834
Stand away from the doors.
We're getting ready to let people in...
282
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:49,467
- ...With numbers from 100 to 150.
- Peg, I traded for 110.
283
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,767
- What am I gonna do?
- I'll call your friend Spike.
284
00:17:52,934 --> 00:17:55,433
And I'll tell him to trade
with my friend Easy Edie...
285
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,600
...You know, the one that
turned you down in high school?
286
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,200
She's got number 198.
287
00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:06,033
Okay, we're almost ready
for the fry-eating contest.
288
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,700
Chug a spud! Chug a spud!
Chug a spud!
289
00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:12,367
Those people are morons, Dad.
290
00:18:12,533 --> 00:18:15,000
Give me the batteries.
I'm done with the car.
291
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,633
What are all those extra parts?
292
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,934
They're extra parts. You know,
for Koreans or something.
293
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,567
Steve, where have you been?
294
00:18:23,734 --> 00:18:26,767
Well, I got halfway out the back door
and Mr. Takahashi said:
295
00:18:26,934 --> 00:18:28,800
"Hey, where you go?"
296
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,467
So I couldn't just leave.
297
00:18:30,633 --> 00:18:35,000
We started talking baseball,
and then we got into the sake.
298
00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:37,767
I wrote a haiku.
299
00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:41,100
Give me this.
300
00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:43,433
You call this a power dress?
301
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:45,467
I can't wear this among bankers.
302
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,967
I was in a hurry.
I grabbed the first thing I saw.
303
00:18:48,133 --> 00:18:50,533
I did that once. That's how I got Peg.
304
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,834
Marcy, there's nothing wrong
with that dress.
305
00:18:56,033 --> 00:19:00,967
Okay. We got number 198.
Nice dress.
306
00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:04,767
Sorry.
307
00:19:05,734 --> 00:19:08,500
Oh, never mind. My dress is dry.
Go back and stall them.
308
00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:11,667
Right. Let's see...
309
00:19:11,834 --> 00:19:13,767
They mentioned their new Mercedes.
310
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:16,367
I'll have them show it to me.
311
00:19:16,934 --> 00:19:19,333
Okay, here it is.
312
00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:27,233
There it goes.
313
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:29,367
I saw that.
314
00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:33,233
Okay. Must be something wrong with
the batteries in the remote control.
315
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,367
You sure it isn't
one of those extra parts?
316
00:19:35,567 --> 00:19:37,867
You said that about
our real car, didn't you, Bud?
317
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,567
And it's running just fine.
318
00:19:39,734 --> 00:19:44,400
It's running good enough that it can
slam into a Mercedes and keep going.
319
00:19:45,066 --> 00:19:47,767
Chug a spud!
Chug a spud! Chug a spud!
320
00:19:47,934 --> 00:19:50,200
That's a record
so far tonight, eight bags.
321
00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:53,633
You know, there used to be a guy
that could eat ten bags.
322
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,367
Al "The Pig" Bundy.
323
00:19:57,433 --> 00:20:00,367
He wouldn't pay for them,
but he'd eat them.
324
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,266
It looks like they're going to be seating
the last group in about ten minutes.
325
00:20:04,433 --> 00:20:08,967
- That means it's last call...
- For cholesterol!
326
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:11,667
Now, remember, you can still
be a part of history.
327
00:20:11,834 --> 00:20:14,100
When we announce the doors
are closed for good...
328
00:20:14,266 --> 00:20:17,166
...We want people all over Chicago
to honk their horns...
329
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:20,800
...To say goodbye to Johnny B. Goode's.
330
00:20:27,066 --> 00:20:29,633
I wish I were dead.
331
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,233
I wish I was blind.
332
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,633
I guess I can just kiss this job goodbye.
333
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,233
They're not gonna trust their bank
to some harlot.
334
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:46,433
I might as well put on go-go boots
and sing Nancy Sinatra songs.
335
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,667
Well, I like it.
I think you should be proud.
336
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,967
Just go on in there
and show them what you got.
337
00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:54,000
That's how Peg got me.
338
00:20:54,467 --> 00:20:57,900
I'd never let any real people
see me in this.
339
00:20:58,300 --> 00:20:59,333
That's it!
340
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:03,567
I just saw Judy trying to steal back
the boyfriend I stole from her.
341
00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:05,600
I'm not letting her get away with it.
342
00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:06,800
I'm a Bundy.
343
00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:09,800
I'm going right over there
and knock her teeth out.
344
00:21:09,967 --> 00:21:12,867
Nice dress, Mrs. Rhoades.
345
00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:18,133
Well, if she can do it, I can do it.
346
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,266
I'm not a Bundy, thank God...
347
00:21:21,934 --> 00:21:25,500
...But I'm going home right now
and getting that job.
348
00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:30,700
There. I think they were
just put in wrong.
349
00:21:37,533 --> 00:21:41,033
- It's working. Get out.
- Thanks, Dad.
350
00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:44,967
Peg, as much as I hate
to see you run, run.
351
00:21:45,300 --> 00:21:48,066
How much time have we got, Al?
352
00:21:58,934 --> 00:22:00,667
Well, Johnny be gone.
353
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:03,433
Yeah. We just missed the end of an era.
354
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,033
Yep.
355
00:22:06,433 --> 00:22:09,667
Well, we'll start a new era.
356
00:22:09,834 --> 00:22:12,734
How? We don't have any traditions.
We're Bundys.
357
00:22:12,934 --> 00:22:15,033
We still have one tradition.
358
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,200
Remember what we did when
we came back from Johnny B. Goode's?
359
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:23,033
- In my parents' living room?
- Yeah.
30086
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