Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,633
And for $100, name the chief export
of the United States.
2
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:19,834
Wheat.
3
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,834
- Machinery.
- Machinery is correct.
4
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,467
Which state produced the most presidents?
5
00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:25,667
Illinois.
6
00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:27,967
- Virginia.
- Virginia is correct.
7
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:30,900
Which side of the brain
controls analytical thinking?
8
00:01:31,066 --> 00:01:32,066
The right.
9
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,400
- The left.
- The left is correct!
10
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:37,600
We'll be back after
this commercial message.
11
00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:40,633
Hey, America. Who do you call
when you don't want to cook?
12
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:41,834
Ahab's.
13
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,033
Ahab's is correct.
14
00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:47,400
Yes, Ahab's for fish and fowl.
15
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:51,533
Opening soon in an economically
depressed area near you.
16
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,800
Daddy's home. Come on.
17
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:00,633
Hi. How was your day at the shoe store?
18
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:05,066
I'll tell you something.
Feet and the return of warm weather...
19
00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:07,467
...Makes for a deadly combination.
20
00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:11,266
Well, you knew that going in, Al.
21
00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:14,166
Yeah. My back is so tight.
22
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,200
I wish I had somebody to rub it.
23
00:02:18,967 --> 00:02:20,400
Like a wife.
24
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,567
Hey, there's one now!
25
00:02:25,867 --> 00:02:27,133
How about my back?
26
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,700
You know, I work hard all day too.
27
00:02:29,867 --> 00:02:31,300
Yeah? Doing what?
28
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,800
That feels good.
29
00:02:41,633 --> 00:02:43,033
How good?
30
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:50,734
Where are the kids?
31
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,233
Upstairs.
32
00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:53,867
What if they come down?
33
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:56,700
I'll take care of it. Bud, Kelly!
34
00:02:56,867 --> 00:02:59,567
You want to come help me in the kitchen?
35
00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:05,600
That should buy us about ten minutes.
36
00:03:05,767 --> 00:03:08,467
Seven more than we'll need.
37
00:03:12,433 --> 00:03:14,233
Where were we?
38
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,066
We're here, Bundy!
39
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,100
Bundy, don't you know you shouldn't
leave your door unlocked?
40
00:03:25,266 --> 00:03:28,500
It's an invitation to intruders.
41
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,266
What are they doing here?
42
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:33,033
They're the neighborhood watch.
I invited them.
43
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,367
To watch this?
44
00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:40,200
Hi. I hope
we're not interrupting anything.
45
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:44,633
No. Just gonna have
a little sex with the wife.
46
00:03:47,467 --> 00:03:50,166
What the heck.
There's always next month.
47
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,333
Our house was robbed this afternoon.
48
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:56,934
Gee, that's too bad.
You wanna hand me my shirt?
49
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:58,867
What did they steal?
50
00:03:59,033 --> 00:04:00,667
Mostly small stuff.
51
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:04,867
Radio, earrings, our cameras,
our answering machine.
52
00:04:05,066 --> 00:04:07,000
God only knows who called.
53
00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:10,967
At least they didn't
take anything valuable.
54
00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:14,033
Yeah, this time.
But I know how these vermin think.
55
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:19,367
They take your little crap then come
back with a truck for your big crap.
56
00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:21,533
Not gonna happen in my house.
I'm ready.
57
00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:24,767
I got 50,000 volts going
through my window bars.
58
00:04:24,934 --> 00:04:27,900
I got a bucket of battery acid
over the back door...
59
00:04:28,066 --> 00:04:31,033
...And a .30-aught-6
rigged to the front door.
60
00:04:31,433 --> 00:04:33,133
Then how do you get into your house?
61
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,233
Wouldn't you like to know?
62
00:04:37,033 --> 00:04:39,500
Now, the question before us is:
63
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,433
What are we gonna do about it?
64
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,500
I say we hunt the scum down...
65
00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,967
...Then run them over with our cars.
66
00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:49,333
- Then we get fishhooks--
- Marcy!
67
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:53,066
I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.
68
00:04:53,233 --> 00:04:55,233
It's just that
I feel violated.
69
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,300
Someone's been in my home, in my bedroom.
70
00:04:57,467 --> 00:04:58,800
I feel so helpless.
71
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,000
We'd all feel helpless
in your bedroom, Marce.
72
00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:04,934
You got any more beer?
73
00:05:05,133 --> 00:05:06,133
No.
74
00:05:06,734 --> 00:05:08,800
In all the excitement,
I forgot to ask:
75
00:05:08,967 --> 00:05:11,033
Why are you meeting in my house?
76
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,333
Because our wives didn't want you in ours.
77
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,667
Hi. Did I miss anything?
78
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,700
You want me back on my wife?
79
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:23,633
Not on my account.
80
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,567
I'm sorry you got robbed.
81
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,333
It wasn't me. It was them!
82
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,767
It was you. Somebody smashed
your windshield, stole your radio...
83
00:05:30,934 --> 00:05:32,767
...And wrote "wash me" on your hood.
84
00:05:32,934 --> 00:05:34,967
My car! They stole my radio?
85
00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:37,200
Bundy.
The thieves have a point.
86
00:05:37,367 --> 00:05:39,767
You ought to wash your car.
87
00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:41,467
Get out!
88
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,467
Out! Out!
89
00:05:43,633 --> 00:05:47,767
Pretend there's a keg
on the lawn. Out! Out!
90
00:05:51,266 --> 00:05:53,967
I can't believe they stole my radio...
91
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,834
...In front of my house!
92
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,266
I know how you feel.
93
00:05:57,934 --> 00:06:00,066
If you did, you wouldn't be touching me.
94
00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:03,967
We should get involved
with neighborhood watch.
95
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:06,400
You can't depend on anybody but yourself.
96
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:09,767
I've put this off long enough.
I'm buying a gun.
97
00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:12,667
A gun is not the answer.
98
00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:15,934
You can't curtail the criminal element
by sinking to their level.
99
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:20,233
Excuse me, Miss Let's-run-them-over-
and-get-out-the-fishhooks.
100
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:22,367
I was upset. I wasn't thinking.
101
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:26,667
Yes. She wasn't using the left
or analytical portion of the brain.
102
00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:31,867
I'm definitely getting a gun.
103
00:06:32,066 --> 00:06:33,700
I'd advise you to do the same.
104
00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:36,300
There's got to be a more humane way...
105
00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:38,367
...To protect our home and possessions.
106
00:06:38,533 --> 00:06:39,533
There is.
107
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:42,000
We'll get a dog.
A good watchdog.
108
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:45,200
A dog. That's a great idea.
I've got a dog.
109
00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:47,500
Buck! Strangers in the house!
110
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:50,967
Kill them, Buck.
Go kill them!
111
00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:53,166
Whoa, big fella.
112
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,834
I don't mean a stupid dog.
113
00:06:57,233 --> 00:07:01,533
I'm talking about a real dog.
A guard dog. A Doberman.
114
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:06,233
First thing tomorrow we're going
to one of those deadly doggy places.
115
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:10,400
Because we're against guns
and the violence they stand for.
116
00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:12,400
That's right. A dog.
117
00:07:12,567 --> 00:07:16,934
A vicious dog with sharp teeth
that will go through a jugular...
118
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:20,700
...Like a hot knife cutting through
butter on a warm summer night.
119
00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:22,934
- Come on, dear.
- The next guy who gets...
120
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:26,700
...In my bedroom uninvited will walk out
on bloody stumps.
121
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,633
When was the last time you called
to complain about the dog?
122
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,834
Yesterday. Marcy said to stop calling.
123
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,734
The ringing makes him bark.
124
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,667
Everything makes him bark.
125
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,000
It's been two weeks and
you haven't let me see the gun...
126
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,066
...Let alone pick off a pigeon or two.
127
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,700
Bud, guns are not toys.
128
00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:51,967
They are weapons and should only
be handled by responsible adults.
129
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:55,500
When Dad was practicing quick draws
during Donahue--
130
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,867
Bud, number one, shut up.
131
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,266
Two, it was Phil's salute...
132
00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:02,333
...To the Huge and Fat
Women's Caucus.
133
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:05,667
Three, there were no bullets in the gun.
134
00:08:05,834 --> 00:08:08,266
Your mother took them out
and hid them for safety...
135
00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:10,500
...And she won't tell me where.
136
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,867
Guns, guns, guns. Can't anyone
talk about me for a change?
137
00:08:15,567 --> 00:08:18,467
Okay, Kelly.
Where were you last night?
138
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,233
So, Dad, what kind of gun did you buy?
139
00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:24,934
I'll get it.
140
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,533
Coming.
141
00:08:31,633 --> 00:08:33,300
Hi, Peg.
142
00:08:35,533 --> 00:08:38,800
Borrow a cup of Kibble?
The dog's still hungry.
143
00:08:38,967 --> 00:08:42,867
What's the matter?
The neighbor's cat didn't fill him up?
144
00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:45,967
That cat was taunting him, Al.
145
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:49,133
Gee, you two look cute.
146
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:52,700
I can't get Al to dress unisex at all.
147
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,934
This is protective gear.
148
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:57,900
You see, Bella hasn't accepted us
as his rightful owners.
149
00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:01,166
You named that dog after Bela Lugosi?
150
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,900
No. Abzug.
151
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:05,934
We thought it was kind of cute.
152
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,500
But he won't wear the hat.
153
00:09:09,367 --> 00:09:12,834
Al, by the way, we want
to apologize about your fence.
154
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,767
- What happened?
- Bella ate through it.
155
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:19,633
- It was a little piece.
- Not much.
156
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,033
About the size of a human face.
157
00:09:22,734 --> 00:09:24,934
Rhoades, what are we
going to do about this?
158
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:29,600
Look, we'll handle this the same way
we dealt with the cat incident.
159
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,934
Get estimates, we'll make it good.
160
00:09:32,533 --> 00:09:37,100
We know Bella can be annoying,
and the neighborhood hates his guts...
161
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:39,200
...But he's a good protector.
162
00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:42,533
Gee, Mom, that's just
what you say about Dad.
163
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:49,533
Mount up! They just hit the Johnsons.
TV and major appliances.
164
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:53,400
We're all meeting at the Bowl and Brew
to calm ourselves down.
165
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:58,100
See that!
They didn't hit our place.
166
00:09:58,333 --> 00:10:03,333
That's what a good dog will do for you.
Come on. Grab the meal and the Mace.
167
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,934
It's time to feed our doggy.
168
00:10:19,734 --> 00:10:21,800
Peg, did you hear that?
169
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,867
How could I hear anything
the way you snore?
170
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:29,800
What was that?
171
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,333
I don't know.
172
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,066
Don't worry. I'll check.
173
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,166
- No, call the police.
- For noise?
174
00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:38,867
It might be a burglar.
Call the police.
175
00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:43,734
I can't.
Kelly's on the phone.
176
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,767
- What are you doing?
- Getting my gun.
177
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:51,900
You gonna tell me where're the bullets
or wait till the kids see us in the paper?
178
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,900
Come on, Al. I had to hide the bullets
so Bud wouldn't find them.
179
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,533
Where are they?
180
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,734
They're in the holes of your bowling ball.
181
00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:04,567
This is real easy.
182
00:11:05,567 --> 00:11:07,767
This is much better than
keeping them handy.
183
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:10,934
Even an ax-wielding maniac
deserves an even break.
184
00:11:11,967 --> 00:11:12,967
Hurry, Al!
185
00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:16,133
- Where's Buck? Shouldn't he bark?
- I don't know.
186
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:22,600
You shiftless, worthless, dirty...
187
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,033
Peg, stay at the top of the stairs.
188
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,333
If anything happens, get the kids,
lock yourself in a room.
189
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,667
And if Kelly's off the phone,
call the police.
190
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,767
It's coming from the patio.
191
00:11:49,934 --> 00:11:52,266
- Be careful, Al.
- I will.
192
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,500
Okay, creep!
I see you!
193
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:20,834
Freeze, or I'll shoot!
194
00:12:23,233 --> 00:12:26,600
Oh, my God! Al! Al!
195
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:30,934
Al, are you all right?
196
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,100
Yeah.
197
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:33,834
What happened out there?
198
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:38,633
I just shot Steve and Marcy's dog.
199
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:48,467
How could you shoot a dog?
200
00:12:48,633 --> 00:12:50,700
He didn't look like a dog, Peg.
201
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,300
All I seen were two yellow eyes...
202
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:56,433
...Staring at me from the bushes,
and I told him to freeze.
203
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,667
Then I thought it made a move at me...
204
00:12:58,834 --> 00:13:00,200
...And I panicked.
205
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:04,600
You couldn't tell the difference
between a dog and a human being?
206
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,567
He was wearing a hat.
207
00:13:09,934 --> 00:13:13,433
Kelly, honey,
I was trying to protect our family.
208
00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:16,266
That's right, Kel. Dad did a good thing.
209
00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:18,400
Can I go and see the body?
210
00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:20,300
You're disgusting.
211
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,233
And you're failing five classes.
212
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:25,400
Hey, hey, kids. Listen to me.
213
00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:28,066
Now I think that we can all learn
something from this.
214
00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:29,800
What, Dad?
215
00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:31,633
I don't know. Go to bed.
216
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:33,667
Dad!
217
00:13:33,834 --> 00:13:37,633
I wouldn't argue with him.
He's already killed once tonight.
218
00:13:38,934 --> 00:13:41,266
You were very brave, Al.
219
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:44,800
Wasn't anything that anybody else...
220
00:13:44,967 --> 00:13:47,767
...With the heart of a lion
wouldn't have done.
221
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,467
You should've seen me.
I was a little nervous...
222
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:52,467
...But I got him between the eyes...
223
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:56,133
...And there's not a
lot of space between those eyes.
224
00:14:01,066 --> 00:14:03,734
It was a nice shot, Al.
225
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,400
- You want to go upstairs?
- Yeah.
226
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:15,033
You don't suppose that's Steve and Marcy?
227
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,900
Peggy, Al, it's us!
228
00:14:17,066 --> 00:14:19,867
- It's them. What will you tell them?
- I don't know.
229
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:21,433
If they don't bring it up...
230
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,200
...We don't bring it up.
231
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,033
Hey! Steve and Marcy.
232
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,333
What brings you two crazy kids over here?
233
00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:34,000
- We heard a shot.
- Hey. Peg, look who's here.
234
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,800
It's Steve and Marcy from next door.
235
00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:39,533
They heard a shot, Peg.
236
00:14:41,166 --> 00:14:42,834
Are you going to say anything, Peg?
237
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,367
What was that you said
you came over here for?
238
00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:49,567
We thought we heard a shot.
239
00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:51,900
They thought they heard a shot, Peg.
240
00:14:52,533 --> 00:14:53,700
Did you hear a shot?
241
00:14:55,033 --> 00:14:56,600
Say something, Peg!
242
00:14:57,500 --> 00:15:00,400
If there had been a shot
their dog would have started barking.
243
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,533
Look, guys.
I'm really sorry about that barking.
244
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,834
Oh, hey, forget about that.
245
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,200
Listen, we're friends and neighbors here.
246
00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:17,600
We're not gonna let some
stupid dog come between us, are we?
247
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,900
Why isn't Bella barking?
248
00:15:20,266 --> 00:15:22,367
I haven't heard him in a while.
249
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:24,900
Al, tell them.
250
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,166
Okay.
251
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,667
See...
252
00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:33,000
I tell you,
I really love you guys.
253
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,600
Do you love me?
254
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:40,000
Well, sure, Al. You know...
255
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,066
...Not really.
256
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:44,967
Tell them, Al.
257
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,800
I'm not telling them anything
till they tell me they love me.
258
00:15:49,633 --> 00:15:51,467
What's going on here?
259
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,133
All right. Okay.
260
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:57,233
But you got to promise me
that you'll let me finish.
261
00:15:57,633 --> 00:15:58,867
Sure, Al.
262
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,567
I shot your dog.
263
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:04,300
I'm finished.
264
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:08,667
Bella!
265
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,867
- Is he...?
- Alive?
266
00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:12,066
- Yes.
- No.
267
00:16:14,934 --> 00:16:16,033
Where is he?
268
00:16:16,567 --> 00:16:17,734
He's out in my yard.
269
00:16:17,934 --> 00:16:19,467
You can't miss him.
270
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,900
I didn't.
271
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:25,934
You stay here.
I'm gonna check on Bella.
272
00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,166
You shot my puppy.
273
00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:32,900
I'm sorry.
We had a prowler stalking our yard.
274
00:16:33,066 --> 00:16:34,667
Your dog came to my defense.
275
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:38,867
The burglar, he took a shot
at me, and I fired back.
276
00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:42,700
And poor Bella got in the way
and was killed in the crossfire.
277
00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:44,934
We only heard one shot.
278
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:48,600
It was a simultaneous exchange.
I don't know.
279
00:16:48,767 --> 00:16:51,467
It happened so fast.
It's all a blur.
280
00:16:56,667 --> 00:17:00,633
You shot my dog in the middle
of a bowel movement?
281
00:17:07,867 --> 00:17:10,033
- Steve, is he really dead?
- Yes, dear.
282
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,200
How do you know?
283
00:17:11,767 --> 00:17:14,867
Well, number one, he didn't respond
to any of my commands.
284
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,000
And number two,
his brains are in the begonias.
285
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:22,967
You killer!
286
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,967
Anyone for cake or coffee?
287
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,633
Now, listen. I said that I was sorry.
Let me make it up to you.
288
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,266
Let me get you another dog.
289
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:35,166
For what, target practice?
290
00:17:36,266 --> 00:17:39,467
We told him not to get a gun.
We told you not to get a gun.
291
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,734
But you had to go out and be Mr. Macho.
292
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:44,200
Now you've taken an innocent life.
293
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,800
Wait. This is not a defense...
294
00:17:45,967 --> 00:17:50,767
...But that dog was anything but
innocent. He bit you. He ate a cat.
295
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:53,800
Given enough time,
he'd have robbed a bank.
296
00:17:53,967 --> 00:17:56,967
- How much you want for him?
- $1000.
297
00:17:57,266 --> 00:18:01,367
$1000 for a dog that just sat there
and let me shoot him?
298
00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:07,667
You want to get off cheap,
next time, plug a squirrel.
299
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:09,734
All right!
Forget the money.
300
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:12,567
You know what I want?
301
00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:16,967
Yes, and you're too late.
Peg's already got him.
302
00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:21,500
Your gun, Al.
Give me your gun.
303
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:23,367
All right!
304
00:18:24,333 --> 00:18:28,767
I want to take it and throw it in the river,
so it'll never hurt anyone again.
305
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,100
Here.
306
00:18:33,633 --> 00:18:37,033
And from now on, we're just neighbors.
307
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:40,834
Now I know why we got our house so cheap.
308
00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:47,333
Well, that's done.
Where were we?
309
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:49,567
We were going upstairs...
310
00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:51,467
...Deadeye.
311
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:56,867
Well, all done.
312
00:18:57,066 --> 00:19:00,734
Old Bella's on his way to the landfill.
313
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:07,033
It cost me $20 and a six-pack
for the garbage man.
314
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:11,000
You'd think the dollar I give him
at Christmas would be enough.
315
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,900
By the way, I washed your killing clothes.
316
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:16,500
Have a nice day, honey.
317
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:27,467
- Hi.
- Hi, Al.
318
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,734
Listen...
319
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:33,066
Some words were said last night and...
320
00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:36,400
...We talked it over and we understand
you didn't do it on purpose.
321
00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:39,734
You didn't do it on purpose, did you, Al?
322
00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:43,900
Steve,
I'm a pet owner myself.
323
00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:46,700
Anyway, we decided to let it go
and forgive you.
324
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,333
Thanks, buddy.
325
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:53,700
So I guess if you'll just
give me Bella's body...
326
00:19:53,867 --> 00:19:56,000
...We can forget about the whole thing.
327
00:19:57,467 --> 00:19:59,133
We want to give him a decent burial.
328
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:02,800
In our yard under that tree
where he did his business.
329
00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:05,800
Except, of course, for that last one.
330
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,200
I don't know what to say, Steve.
331
00:20:10,734 --> 00:20:13,000
Yes, I do.
I can't let you do it.
332
00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:14,500
Peg and I talked it over.
333
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:17,734
And we realized that since I'm at fault
I should handle everything.
334
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:20,467
So let me take care of the arrangements.
335
00:20:22,266 --> 00:20:24,533
If it makes you feel better,
that'll be all right.
336
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,133
Marcy will like that.
337
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:29,934
We'll do it tonight after work.
See you then.
338
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,500
Thanks, big guy.
339
00:20:37,266 --> 00:20:39,033
Listen...
340
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,800
...Can you bury him with this?
341
00:20:42,734 --> 00:20:44,700
He really loved this bone.
342
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:49,934
Sure, buddy.
343
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,934
Hey, Peg!
344
00:20:57,100 --> 00:21:00,667
I'm late for work.
Can I ask you to do me a little favor?
345
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:17,900
How much for the crate?
346
00:21:18,066 --> 00:21:21,233
- $150.
- $150?
347
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,400
Al, I didn't have time to comparison-shop.
348
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,633
I'd like to say a few words
about the dearly departed.
349
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:41,166
As you know, Bella was
more than a dog to Marcy and me.
350
00:21:41,333 --> 00:21:43,967
He was family.
One of us.
351
00:21:44,767 --> 00:21:46,667
Bella will be missed...
352
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:49,867
...But his death was not in vain.
353
00:21:50,233 --> 00:21:52,800
He taught us about the value of life...
354
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,767
...And that guns and violence...
355
00:21:55,934 --> 00:21:58,767
...Are not the answer to society's ills.
356
00:21:59,734 --> 00:22:02,567
We can take consolation in the knowledge...
357
00:22:02,734 --> 00:22:06,266
...That while he only lived
one year in dog's years...
358
00:22:06,433 --> 00:22:08,600
...He lived seven in people years...
359
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:14,000
What a great job.
I got to hand it to you.
360
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:18,200
That box feels heavy enough
to have a dog in it.
361
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:19,967
What did you put in there?
362
00:22:20,133 --> 00:22:23,800
Some rocks and your bowling ball.
363
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:29,834
But knowing that he's right here...
364
00:22:31,033 --> 00:22:36,300
...In the back yard, where he was so happy...
365
00:22:37,066 --> 00:22:40,734
...Makes us all feel a little less grief.
27349
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof