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QUENTIN: Previously on
The Magicians...
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00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:03,962
JULIA: We found a key, too.
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00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,173
The ghost said
it has the power
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00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:07,382
to reveal things
that are hidden.
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00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:08,633
I'm a hidden thing.
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00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:09,968
I'm Hyman.
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00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,386
When I first got stuck
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00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:13,263
in the astral plane,
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00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,724
I spent months
trying to push things.
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00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:16,975
I never got anywhere.
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00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:19,394
Until I tried
being the thing.
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00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,396
Holy zerts! You did it!
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00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,064
The farmers are hesitant
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because you're asking them
to throw out food
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00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:28,069
and replace it with, uh...
MARGO: Inedible mushrooms.
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I got it.
I just need it done.
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00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,658
On Earth we tend to meet the
people we're gonna marry first.
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00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,494
FAIRY QUEEN: Surely you've heard
of the Tribe of The Floating Mountain.
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00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,164
(BLADE SLICES)
(GASPS)
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00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,249
FOMAR:
It is my duty and honor
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to take the place
of my late brother.
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00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,545
ALICE: Why do you have magic?
JULIA: I don't know.
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00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,172
I'd do anything
to get it back.
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If I could give it to you,
I would.
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00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,301
What if you could?
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Whoo. Sorry.
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00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,604
Okay.
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00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,610
ALICE: Last I checked,
we're looking for a spell,
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not starting an eBay store.
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There's this old hedge story
I once heard
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about some sort
of electrical transfer
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Marina used to steal magic
from some poor faun.
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People still talk about it.
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Just look.
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00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,296
So, you want us
to reverse engineer
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00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,799
a hedge witch urban legend
using kids' toys?
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I mean, aluminum wiring's
been scant since the '90s,
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so unless you have
a better idea...
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(MURMURING IN FARSI)
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Do you feel anything?
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No.
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00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:02,789
Go again?
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00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:07,585
(MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,337
Oh, as long as I know
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How to love
I know I'll stay alive
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Why did that just turn on
by itself?
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Oh, my God.
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00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:15,719
I've got all my love to give
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And I'll survive
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00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,723
Give me your hand.
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Wait. Stop.
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00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,560
Do not do this.
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00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,478
Did you just use
that fish as a doorbell?
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00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,147
I've been trying to warn you
guys for, like, an hour.
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Being the fish button is the first
thing in this entire room that's worked.
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00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,401
What are you trying
to warn us about?
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This spell.
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00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,154
I've seen it in person.
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00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,405
JULIA: Are you serious?
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00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,115
Yeah.
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00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,701
Couple months back
on a book-stealing job,
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00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,786
I saw a group of
magically-starved idiots
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do the transfer,
and by the end of it,
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00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,750
everyone was on fire.
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00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,544
Trust me.
Fogg was right.
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00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,588
It's a bad idea.
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00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:55,383
Wait a minute. Did you
just say Fogg was right?
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00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:56,551
Oh...
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00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,761
Fuck me.
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00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,387
You have magic.
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00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:00,847
And you're just now
telling me?
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00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:03,391
Don't take this
the wrong way,
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00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,727
but you've been
a little drunk.
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00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,937
And unreliable.
Yes.
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00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:12,484
I'm drunk, but I am
entirely reliable.
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00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,947
Um, maybe we should get back
to Marina's spell.
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00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,158
It wasn't Marina's spell.
It's mine.
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00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,452
She stole it from
my private collection.
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00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,622
And if any of you had attended
my annual colloquia
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00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:28,124
on prohibited magic,
you would know
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00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,627
that its proper name
is the Voltaic Transfer.
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00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,712
It is incredibly delicate.
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00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,631
We know that, but...
But what?
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00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:36,299
But you want to rid yourself
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00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,802
of the one thing
we all so desperately want?
86
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,220
If you understood what...
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00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,304
You understand.
88
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,807
I'm a Magician with no magic.
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00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,434
A dean without a school.
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00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,937
Just a blind, unemployed
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00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,189
black man in America.
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00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:57,237
Which, shockingly, was actually
being kept 38% more tolerant
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00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,406
through a series
of enchantments
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00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,408
which have now died.
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00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,618
In case you hadn't noticed
or perhaps maybe you weren't
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00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,537
in a position to need to.
Okay, you're really drunk.
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00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:06,663
(LOUDLY) So what?
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00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,291
What does it matter?
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00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,794
Alice, of all people,
you should know better
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00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,462
than to attempt this.
101
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,965
You want to blow yourselves
up? Is that it? (SNICKERS)
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00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,263
JULIA: Um...
Just give me one second.
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00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,350
Okay.
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00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,352
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
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00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,795
Uh, they'll hold
for a day or two,
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00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,714
but then Alice
can recharge them.
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00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,217
After we finish the transfer.
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00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,429
I know.
Everything is fucked.
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00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,265
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
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00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:08,933
Julia.
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00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,561
Yeah, well, it's not
not my fault either, so...
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00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,606
What you two
utter idiots need,
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00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,024
if you don't want to die,
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00:05:16,191 --> 00:05:18,401
is the flesh
of a magical creature
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to act as a sort of
semiconductor.
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00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:25,366
A potent energy-drainer.
An incubus.
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00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:31,414
MARGO:
If this is about the whole
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00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,790
marriage not being
consummated yet,
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00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,876
don't worry, it'll happen.
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00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,128
Oh, no, no, no. You
misunderstand me, my dear.
121
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,714
See, I've heard a rumor
about your adviser,
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00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,550
the Pickwick?
Sighted in a certain corridor,
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00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,302
taking scrapings
from the wall.
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00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:46,179
He's just a compulsive
redecorator.
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00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,765
You might be interested to
know that we both have been
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00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,434
plotting against
our mutual friend.
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00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:52,810
Hmm.
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00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,563
No idea what
you're talking about.
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00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,233
Margo.
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00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,776
You can trust me.
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The misguided actions
of my son
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00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:05,490
have soured both sides
of our arrangement.
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00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:09,577
I've acquired a weapon forged
in the foundries of Stonehaven.
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00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,121
When the time is right,
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00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,707
we could use it to kill
the Fairy Queen.
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00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,298
Hi.
Oh, hell, no.
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00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,092
Move.
138
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,636
Hang your sheets out
the window afterwards, dear.
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00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,680
Guards! Guards!
140
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,807
Don't even think about
closing it. No!
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00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,142
Guards!
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00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:35,937
(BANGING ON DOOR)
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00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,063
Let me out!
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00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:40,900
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:48,866
MAN: I don't give a shit
if you have to find someone
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00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,660
MAN: I don't give a shit
if you have to find someone
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00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,120
to sell those shares short.
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00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,871
I need them today.
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00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,541
So the incubus
is a hedge fund manager?
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00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,001
Plus 5%.
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00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,003
And not one more cent,
you piece of monkey shit.
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00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,713
Just remember
what Fogg said.
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00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,881
Be respectful,
no matter what.
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00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:05,883
You got two minutes.
155
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,469
Henry Fogg said
that you might be able
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00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,013
to help us power our spell.
157
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,766
Uh... We just... We need
to use your thing.
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00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,519
My what?
Your... Your thing.
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00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,771
Your... Your business.
160
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,440
Sorry?
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00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,651
Your little friend.
Uh, I mean... Your big friend.
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00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,571
Well, I'm sure your friend
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00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:28,698
is perfectly proportioned
to your body.
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00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,076
I was just saying...
Your penis.
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00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:36,539
Yep, we need to use your penis
to power our spell.
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00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,416
And we know that
you need it too.
167
00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:40,585
So that's why we'll build
the spell around it.
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00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,003
It'll be completely painless
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00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,713
and should only take
a couple minutes.
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00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:50,303
(LAUGHS)
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00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,645
I can't believe
that actually worked!
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00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,647
Wha... What actually worked?
173
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,524
I planted this joke on Fogg
25 years ago.
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00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,818
I had him totally convinced
that I had a magic Johnson.
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00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,904
Wait, so you...
You don't have a magic...
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00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,155
Of course not.
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00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,740
That's ridiculous.
No, it's not.
178
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:12,575
I mean, you're an incubus.
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00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,952
Isn't sex, like, your thing?
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00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,871
Gods no.
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00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,748
I don't even like sex.
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00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:22,794
Stress is a much better way
to drain people's energy.
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00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,045
May I?
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00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,089
(SNIFFS)
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00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:29,967
(EXHALES LOUDLY)
186
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,386
(CHUCKLES)
187
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,137
Oh, and you.
188
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,682
You got a lot of it,
I can tell.
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00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,225
(SNIFFS)
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00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,602
(EXHALES)
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00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,270
Delish.
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00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,565
(SNIFFLES) You give me
a few more hits of this,
193
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,900
and I'll give you something
194
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,194
that'll actually
power your spell.
195
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,787
Is that your tail?
Yeah.
196
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,622
Yeah, I grow
a new one every spring.
197
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,127
Welcome back.
198
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,921
I see you've misplaced
your wife and child.
199
00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:10,299
You'd be shocked how easy
it is to misplace people
200
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,636
when your mind's on
tax collection and annexation
201
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,848
and unforeseen
seafaring confusion.
202
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,852
I'll immediately sail
back out there and find them,
203
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,645
of course...
No, you won't.
204
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,148
I have a bigger problem
I need you to solve.
205
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,150
The Stone Queen has locked
206
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,068
Margo and Fomar
in the dungeon.
207
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,237
Wait. What? Why?
208
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,073
She thinks it will get
the marriage consummated,
209
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:37,869
but ultimately I need
the union officialized
210
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,662
just as much
as the Floaters do.
211
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,456
Listen, pro tip.
212
00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,666
Let Margo
out of there immediately.
213
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,835
You know her.
Force isn't going to work.
214
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,880
True. Force may not work.
215
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:52,091
But the clever coercion on
the part of a trusted friend.
216
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,676
I am not going
to coerce Margo
217
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,636
into having sex
with a 15-year-old.
218
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,346
Have you never heard
of statutory rape?
219
00:09:57,430 --> 00:10:00,308
Fomar isn't a statue.
That is not what...
220
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:04,187
Forget it. You will solve
this problem for me.
221
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,105
And if I refuse?
222
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:12,320
I've been searching
for a new keepsake.
223
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,114
Several bits will do.
224
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,326
Fine, but I have
a feeling Queen Margo
225
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,328
is going to be
a little bit difficult.
226
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,331
FOMAR: I know!
227
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,208
You hate me
for killing Micah.
228
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,084
Oh, Jesus Christ.
229
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,753
It's just, in our culture,
230
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:31,964
younger sons can't marry
or inherit property.
231
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,883
Most of us wind up
232
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,803
serving in the Crag Guard
or dying in battle.
233
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,888
Is this supposed to make me
feel bad for you?
234
00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,097
No.
235
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,141
So, do you want
to take a break?
236
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:43,976
Let me touch
your maiden peaks?
237
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,895
Do you want me to cut your
hands off and have them made
238
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,355
into a decorative,
whimsical planter?
239
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:50,024
How are we supposed
to become one flesh
240
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,026
if you won't let me
touch you?
241
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,903
We're not.
But you're my wife.
242
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,488
Oh, please.
243
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,114
You don't need a wife.
244
00:10:57,615 --> 00:11:00,076
You need a pile of socks
and a sex-ed class.
245
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,287
What's a sex class?
Who's Ed?
246
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,747
It's something they make you
do on Earth.
247
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,082
It makes you never wanna.
248
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,961
How about I show you?
249
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,094
Vaginas.
250
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,596
The leading cause
of death in men.
251
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,682
They spread disease.
252
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,893
They explode
during childbirth.
253
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:30,231
But worst of all, they bleed.
Every month.
254
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,441
In fact, mine's doing it
right now.
255
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,028
Well, that's okay.
I like blood.
256
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,033
But do you like teeth?
257
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:46,163
(EXHALES) Sorry I'm late.
258
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,582
You okay?
259
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,126
Enjoying being a palace guard
in your own palace?
260
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,211
This uniform is, like,
really sweaty.
261
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,297
Yeah, I know, but it beats
262
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,215
having the Fairy Queen's
hand up your ass.
263
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,342
Last thing we need
is another puppet king.
264
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,095
Okay, key quest. Hit me.
265
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,015
Uh, okay, so
I'm pretty sure that
266
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,808
the fourth key is somewhere
267
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,394
in this stretch of ocean
called The Abyss.
268
00:12:08,477 --> 00:12:10,396
Um, it's an uncharted
region of Fillory
269
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,816
where it's, like,
sort of permanently night.
270
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,026
Um...
271
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,486
But, you know,
we get to go
272
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:21,908
on a quest on a magical boat,
so it doesn't totally suck.
273
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,785
Yeah. I wish I could.
274
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,914
Believe me, but duty calls
a dozen different ways.
275
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,291
And I can't leave Margo.
Right, of course.
276
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,335
Sorry.
No.
277
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,879
I was looking forward to going
on a boating quest with you.
278
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,505
Who wouldn't?
279
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,843
Think about it.
You can take Benedict.
280
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:43,346
Go be life partners with
someone else for a little bit.
281
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,766
But you'll be able to do the...
Thing on the prow of a ship
282
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,309
you've been waiting
your whole life to do.
283
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:51,437
What thing?
You know, the thing.
284
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,912
Whoo!
285
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,584
(IMITATES BLADE SWISHING)
286
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,963
Sorry. Sorry.
287
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,140
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
288
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:46,617
QUENTIN: Being on a mission
is a hell of an antidepressant.
289
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,077
You notice that, Benedict?
290
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,912
Well, now that
you mention it.
291
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,416
Whoa.
292
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,209
BENEDICT: We're entering
The Abyss, Sire.
293
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,215
It'll be darkness
from here on.
294
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,262
Thank you.
295
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,900
So how long
until we can keep going?
296
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,319
As soon as we find
safe passage, Your Majesty.
297
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,447
WOMAN:
ls someone out there?
298
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,198
Help!
299
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:31,203
Is someone out there?
Help!
300
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,252
God, I think there's someone
out there on a raft.
301
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,421
(GRUNTING)
302
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:45,885
(SIGHS)
303
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,053
You okay?
304
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:51,098
Wow, wow, wow. You just saved
the shit out of me. (SIGHS)
305
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:52,558
Poppy Kline.
306
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:55,102
Draconologist, postgraduate
fellow, and field researcher
307
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,437
at your service.
308
00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,483
Holy shit.
You're from Brakebills?
309
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,943
Yeah.
310
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,744
So, Brakebills students
are kings and queens now?
311
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:12,870
Yeah.
Shit.
312
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,914
I've been stuck in The Abyss
way too long.
313
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,165
How did you end up
out here anyway?
314
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,541
I came
with some other students.
315
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,544
Oh, hey, sorry.
I can... Uh...
316
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,880
Spring Break, Class of 2016?
317
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:24,423
Didn't turn out
so well for us,
318
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,258
but that is a whole
'nother story.
319
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:27,802
Wait, sorry.
320
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,220
Do you know, um...
321
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,721
If the next two words
out of your mouth are "Josh"
322
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:33,015
and "Hoberman,"
we just became best friends.
323
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,101
No way. He's still alive?
324
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,645
I mean, as far as I know.
325
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:39,021
Oh, that's amazing.
326
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,731
So how does
a Brakebills student
327
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,067
wind up alone on a raft?
328
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,237
Get a girl a drink.
I'll tell you the whole story.
329
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,530
All right.
330
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:52,451
(DRINK POURING)
331
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,087
(CLEARS THROAT)
Your Majesty.
332
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:05,297
An urgent message
from Prince Ess of Loria.
333
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,049
Wasn't Ess in the dungeon?
334
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,342
High Queen Margo let him go
335
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,718
as he was innocent
of all charges.
336
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,929
Oh, right. Yeah.
337
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,598
Sorry about that.
338
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:24,150
I figured out the problem.
Humans don't mate in captivity.
339
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,027
What Margo and Fomar
need is a honeymoon.
340
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:29,280
An hour's ride north,
there is a forest
341
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,407
with naturally-occurring
aphrodisiacs
342
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,201
that's guaranteed to get
that marriage consummated.
343
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,203
(SIGHS) Fine.
344
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,122
But if you fail...
I know, I know.
345
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:40,499
New keepsakes.
Fingers, ears.
346
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,501
Try your spleen.
347
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,503
Okay.
Go.
348
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,549
Fieldwork was my thing at
Brakebills, and well, dragons.
349
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:50,134
Love them.
350
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,052
Wait, so what happened
to your ship?
351
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,054
Oh. Wrecked.
352
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,306
Off the coast
of the Truth waters.
353
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:58,142
I spent two years
on that little picket.
354
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:01,020
And, bam.
Over in an instant.
355
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,439
That was three weeks ago.
356
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,776
You survived for three weeks
on a raft by yourself?
357
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,820
Yeah, it was rough.
358
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,239
Especially without magic.
359
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,532
Do you know anything
about why the hell
360
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:16,118
it just went out?
I mean...
361
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,329
I just hope
someone's fixing it.
362
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:21,123
That someone is, um,
sort of me.
363
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:26,795
I'm on a quest, right,
for these golden keys.
364
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,255
Right, so there's
seven of them.
365
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:31,217
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Golden keys?
366
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:32,801
Like...
367
00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:37,514
Holy shit. How did you...
368
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:38,599
Short version?
369
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,059
Stole it.
370
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,519
Mid-voyage we wound up
on this random island,
371
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,105
just, like,
covered in treasure.
372
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:46,357
A dragon breeding ground
which is like...
373
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,192
Ah. Spontaneous orgasm.
374
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,486
I mean, places like this
are so rare.
375
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,196
There are only
two species of dragon
376
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:53,489
that even build
treasure-nests.
377
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,699
Anyway, this was
in one of them
378
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,534
with a bunch of cool stuff.
379
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,246
But the thing
that got me was
380
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,830
I could feel something
coming off it.
381
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,208
Yeah.
Even now.
382
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,418
It's somehow
not dead, right?
383
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,546
And, you know, the dragons
were all horny and distracted,
384
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,215
so I just took it.
385
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,050
Just like that?
386
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:16,262
I'm a person of questionable
ethics. (CHUCKLES)
387
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,222
Here.
388
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,601
It's yours,
from one quester to another.
389
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,729
Wow. Thank you.
390
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,648
So do you know what it does?
391
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:30,192
I mean, each one sort of
has a unique thing.
392
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,443
I don't know.
393
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:35,447
Maybe you can figure it out.
Yeah.
394
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:38,492
Uh... Here's to that.
395
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,202
(BOTH LAUGH)
396
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,374
(SIGHS)
397
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,335
You wanna? Yeah.
Oh.
398
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,133
Okay.
Well, here goes nothing.
399
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,845
(SIGHS)
400
00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,305
(SPEAKING FARSI)
401
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,767
Ugh. Man, one of your wires
is coming loose.
402
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,644
You're gonna
kill yourselves!
403
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:09,064
Oh, my God. I can't...
Golly Moses.
404
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,233
You're right.
They're gonna kill themselves.
405
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,569
Don't you have some shower
to go haunt?
406
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,404
Oh, no one's
showering right now.
407
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:17,698
Except Fogg,
and he's asleep.
408
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,576
Jesus, that man needs help.
Is he all right?
409
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,619
Just a bit zozzled, I think.
410
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,414
He was quite naked.
(CHUCKLES)
411
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,709
Remarkably well-preserved.
412
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,338
Guess it's possible
to age gracefully.
413
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:33,964
PENNY: Oh, my God.
414
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,008
Fuck, man.
I can't watch this.
415
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:39,386
See? This is what I love
about you, Penny.
416
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,846
You act
like you don't care,
417
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,640
but really, you care most
in this whole story.
418
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,726
Yeah, then... Then why
is everyone acting
419
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:47,686
like I'm not a part
of it anymore?
420
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:52,149
Maybe it's time to blouse
this Popsicle stand.
421
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,817
You mean, leave?
Why not?
422
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,694
Go find a story to watch
423
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,529
that doesn't make you
so depressed.
424
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,781
(GASPING)
425
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,616
Oh, I think they did it.
426
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,117
(GASPS)
427
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,749
I'm having a good time.
428
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:10,542
Mmm.
429
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,714
You just wait a second,
I'm gonna close...
430
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,575
Rise and shine, princess.
431
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,662
(STUTTERS) Who?
432
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,705
The real question, dipshit,
is how you managed
433
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,707
to black out after,
what, five drinks?
434
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,501
Why do you always have
to embarrass yourself?
435
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:53,627
I don't...
436
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,712
Okay.
437
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:58,507
Um...
438
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,010
Seriously.
439
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:05,055
You hold your liquor
like a kindergartner.
440
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:11,478
Sorry, um, can you... Are
you... Are you seeing this?
441
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,315
Nobody cares, dude.
442
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,860
They all have actual jobs,
unlike you.
443
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,361
Right, okay.
444
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:20,988
No problem.
445
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,037
What the fuck did you do?
Okay, I can explain.
446
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,039
What is this key?
Just calm down.
447
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,417
It's all right.
There's another me.
448
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,627
And he's mean,
and no one else can see him.
449
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,421
Nothing about this
is all right.
450
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,256
Okay, listen.
Here's the deal.
451
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:41,800
The key does have a power.
No shit.
452
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,469
It takes the darkest parts
of you
453
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:46,472
and makes a kind of...
Well, you met it.
454
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,933
It's kind of like
a depression monster?
455
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,644
Looks like you,
talks like you.
456
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,231
But don't worry, it can't
actually hurt you.
457
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,901
Unless...
Unless?
458
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,444
Unless it gets in your head
459
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:01,653
and convinces you
to hurt yourself.
460
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,489
Well...
But you'll be fine.
461
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:05,491
It only affects the last
person who touched the key.
462
00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:07,534
So just pass it along
to someone else.
463
00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:10,662
That's what we did.
Who's we?
464
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:11,914
My former shipmates.
465
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,415
After I stole the key,
466
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,833
we passed it
from person to person
467
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,753
until we, you know,
ran out of options.
468
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:20,005
What does that mean,
you ran out of options?
469
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:21,256
Um...
470
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,799
Hit an iceberg?
471
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,843
I happened to be holding
the key when we sank
472
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:26,929
'cause the rest of 'em
just couldn't handle it.
473
00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:28,805
You have to be, like,
a badass about it,
474
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:30,724
and what can I say?
475
00:22:30,807 --> 00:22:32,559
They were weak.
Okay, I'm sorry.
476
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:35,687
Exactly how many of them
survived the key before you?
477
00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:38,023
Hmm. Maybe, like, half?
478
00:22:38,273 --> 00:22:40,067
This key made half
of your shipmates
479
00:22:40,150 --> 00:22:42,528
kill themselves,
and you gave it to me?
480
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,446
Yeah. But don't worry.
481
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:47,324
They were all pretty
psychologically damaged already.
482
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,618
You'll be fine.
You're so happy and positive.
483
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:52,621
No. No, no.
484
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,873
I'm not. This is like...
485
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,416
It's like
we're on a boat, okay?
486
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,001
This is not how I usually am.
487
00:22:58,085 --> 00:22:59,836
You're usually a wet blanket,
self-pitying,
488
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,046
party pooping dickwad.
489
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:03,048
Shut up!
490
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,425
You better pass that
along fast.
491
00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:07,886
What? No!
Not if there is a 50%
492
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,513
chance of it killing
the next person.
493
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,181
(STUTTERS)
494
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,724
Okay.
495
00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:16,186
Right, yep.
I'll just hold on to it.
496
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,355
Until we get back
to Whitespire.
497
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,732
I can do that.
Your choice.
498
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,234
I mean,
we're stuck in The Abyss
499
00:23:22,317 --> 00:23:23,527
till we found our way out.
500
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:24,611
It could be days.
501
00:23:24,695 --> 00:23:26,321
It could be weeks.
502
00:23:26,613 --> 00:23:28,448
But hey. Don't stress.
503
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,993
You might be fine.
You won't be.
504
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:32,411
You know what?
505
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:35,664
I have come up against you
before, asshole.
506
00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:38,250
Maybe a little more subtly,
but you and I both know
507
00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:39,751
that I've got a black belt.
508
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,253
So come at me.
509
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:47,467
The problem is your hair.
510
00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:48,969
I know you're just trying
to hide your face,
511
00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:50,762
but it really only
makes it worse.
512
00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:52,764
Seriously,
have you ever noticed
513
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,266
that your face sort of
looks like a foot?
514
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:55,934
If feet had frown lines?
515
00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:57,978
I mean, you're definitely
aging prematurely,
516
00:23:58,061 --> 00:24:00,939
which is a symptom
of early-onset Alzheimer's.
517
00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:03,650
Which, funny,
both your grandparents had.
518
00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:06,612
And you will definitely get it
so then you'll be
519
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,572
a senile frowny foot-face.
520
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,699
Jesus. Fuck.
521
00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:15,621
This is pointless.
You can't run me off.
522
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,874
You can't eat me off.
523
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:21,752
You can't drink me off.
524
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:26,006
You can't jerk me off.
525
00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:27,549
God, you're so vulgar.
526
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:30,177
We had a thing going,
and you... You made it
527
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:32,054
unnecessarily gross.
528
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,765
You sick of the shallow,
petty stuff?
529
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,267
I get it.
530
00:24:38,226 --> 00:24:40,062
The thing is,
I start on the outside,
531
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,105
and I work my way
into the core.
532
00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:45,942
The part of you
that kept magic from Julia
533
00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:47,277
when you could have
helped her,
534
00:24:47,361 --> 00:24:50,697
that is what set her
on that path.
535
00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:54,284
You got your best friend
sexually assaulted.
536
00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:57,204
And let's talk about
what happened to Alice.
537
00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:58,622
You ruined her.
538
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,208
And she is never going to be
the girl that she was.
539
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,877
You killed her,
and she is never coming back.
540
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,923
How many people have to pay
the price for your heroics?
541
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:09,675
Just stop!
542
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,968
You are willing to destroy
everyone around you
543
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:14,638
to find something
that makes you feel okay.
544
00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:16,682
But you are never
gonna feel okay.
545
00:25:16,765 --> 00:25:19,309
No, stop. You're trying
to get in my head.
546
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:20,936
Quentin.
547
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,231
I am your head.
548
00:25:24,314 --> 00:25:27,275
You know I'm right
because I am you.
549
00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:36,827
To Mr. and Mrs...
Fomar.
550
00:25:37,035 --> 00:25:38,704
Fomar.
551
00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:40,539
Bottoms up.
552
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:46,169
In my culture, the
woman always drinks first.
553
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:47,713
Drink the wine, Margo.
554
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,339
I don't wanna
drink the wine.
555
00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:51,758
What I wanted was for you
to handle this, Eliot.
556
00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:53,593
You'll feel better
if you just
557
00:25:53,677 --> 00:25:56,638
drink the wine, Margo.
558
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:06,648
(COUGHS)
559
00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:09,818
So, um...
560
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:13,113
Do we have sex
in the carriage?
561
00:26:13,196 --> 00:26:15,907
Or do we have sex outside?
562
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:20,036
Or do...
I'm not having sex with you.
563
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:23,331
You psychotic fetus.
564
00:26:23,707 --> 00:26:25,125
Ever.
565
00:26:33,508 --> 00:26:35,385
Either I just killed him
with my rage
566
00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:36,928
or you drugged his wine.
567
00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:38,764
And to think...
568
00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:39,973
You doubted me.
569
00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:41,057
To think.
570
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:46,563
I just spent three days locked
in a dungeon with him.
571
00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,857
Okay. Yes, and that sucks.
572
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,276
But we have a problem,
possibly much bigger
573
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,195
than sleeping beauty
over here.
574
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:54,279
The fairies
are up to something
575
00:26:54,362 --> 00:26:55,363
in the Northern Orchards.
576
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,324
They evacuated the villagers
weeks ago
577
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:59,659
and haven't let another
human in since.
578
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,954
Except Ess came through
on his way from Loria,
579
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,040
and he saw some crazy shit.
580
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,459
Rivers running red,
three-eyed fanged toads,
581
00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:10,420
mutant plant life,
Chernobyl-level shit.
582
00:27:10,504 --> 00:27:13,423
I think the fairies might
be poisoning the ecosystem.
583
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:16,593
Great, well,
now I can't be mad at you.
584
00:27:17,135 --> 00:27:18,261
Thanks.
585
00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:20,680
I know,
I wanted to fight, too,
586
00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:22,808
so that we could make up
and on the other side of it,
587
00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:25,060
we could just...
Be us again?
588
00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:27,312
Who are we now, El?
589
00:27:27,395 --> 00:27:28,814
We used to be glamorous,
590
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:30,816
amazing mega-bitches.
591
00:27:31,525 --> 00:27:32,901
And now?
592
00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:36,738
We have depth and character.
593
00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:40,408
Let's decide...
We'll find us again
594
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:42,828
once we're done
saving Fillory.
595
00:27:42,911 --> 00:27:44,162
Okay?
596
00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:46,331
(HORSE NEIGHING)
597
00:27:46,414 --> 00:27:47,916
Duty calls.
598
00:27:47,999 --> 00:27:49,918
Let's go see
about these orchards.
599
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:57,717
Which are...
600
00:28:01,930 --> 00:28:03,598
No longer here.
601
00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:14,025
Nothing is going to save you.
Not Brakebills.
602
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,444
Not Fillory.
Not a quest.
603
00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:18,321
Just do it.
604
00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:21,324
Kill yourself.
605
00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:23,660
Make it stop.
606
00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:26,371
You know the way out.
607
00:28:37,465 --> 00:28:38,967
BENEDICT: King Quentin, no!
608
00:28:39,634 --> 00:28:41,177
No, I wasn't. I was just...
609
00:28:41,511 --> 00:28:42,888
I thought I saw something.
Your Majesty,
610
00:28:42,971 --> 00:28:45,307
if I may, I understand
what you're contemplating.
611
00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,183
I thought about it too.
612
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:50,896
Though I have never spoken
about it, of course.
613
00:28:51,938 --> 00:28:52,981
Why not?
614
00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:56,484
Well, you know what parents
teach you about emotions.
615
00:28:57,319 --> 00:29:01,698
That you should bottle them up
and never talk about them
616
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:05,994
and turn them into maps,
for example.
617
00:29:06,119 --> 00:29:07,579
Jesus, Benedict.
618
00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:10,081
Okay, we should
talk about this.
619
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:12,083
If it please you, Sire,
but first,
620
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:14,252
why don't we step away
from the edge of the boat?
621
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:20,800
Yeah. I don't really
trust myself right now.
622
00:29:21,343 --> 00:29:25,180
You know, in old days,
when sailors would go mad,
623
00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:27,515
the crew would tie them
to the mast. (CHUCKLES)
624
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:28,975
Isn't that funny?
625
00:29:29,059 --> 00:29:30,560
Oh, my God.
Tie me to the mast.
626
00:29:30,894 --> 00:29:31,978
(CHUCKLES)
627
00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:36,650
No... No, Your Majesty.
No, do it.
628
00:29:37,192 --> 00:29:39,819
Okay, swear to me,
no matter what I say,
629
00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:42,489
that you will not untie me
until we get to Whitespire.
630
00:29:43,990 --> 00:29:46,868
Very well. I won't.
631
00:29:47,369 --> 00:29:48,745
Thank you.
632
00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:17,899
It worked.
633
00:30:20,402 --> 00:30:21,820
Thank you.
634
00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:24,906
(LAUGHS)
635
00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:27,617
(SIGHS)
636
00:31:12,787 --> 00:31:16,249
Oh, I see
the transfer worked.
637
00:31:16,332 --> 00:31:19,419
It's still small, I can feel
that, but I'm gonna grow it.
638
00:31:19,502 --> 00:31:21,004
I hope you'll be careful.
639
00:31:21,796 --> 00:31:22,797
I will be.
640
00:31:24,674 --> 00:31:28,303
You know that
fixing my glasses
641
00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:29,888
won't fix me.
642
00:31:30,847 --> 00:31:32,682
Yeah, but they make
all of this
643
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,309
one speck less shitty.
644
00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:41,107
(MARGO GROANS)
645
00:31:42,442 --> 00:31:44,319
MARGO: It smells like
the fairy realm.
646
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:47,447
We're so far north.
647
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:50,492
The climate should be cold
and dry, not hot and moist.
648
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:52,952
Yeah, well, they're such
moisture freaks.
649
00:31:53,661 --> 00:31:56,372
All that spritzing
and bathing.
650
00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:59,084
You know, it's...
It's like they're afraid
651
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,795
to dry out
in Fillory or something.
652
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:05,924
Oh, my God.
653
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:10,220
The fuckers are terraforming.
654
00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:13,181
They're turning our kingdom
into a mushroom steam bath.
655
00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:14,808
That is not okay.
No.
656
00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:16,392
Definitely not.
657
00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:20,563
That mushroom just moved.
658
00:32:21,231 --> 00:32:23,149
Really?
Should I pluck it?
659
00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:27,278
I'm gonna do it.
660
00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:29,072
Margo, don't.
661
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,163
(GASPS)
Oh.
662
00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:41,751
(WHIMPERS)
Uh...
663
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:44,337
It's a fairy embryo.
664
00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:47,715
Really?
These are eggs, El.
665
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,259
I mean, really?
666
00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:51,136
The fairies
aren't just terraforming.
667
00:32:51,219 --> 00:32:53,304
They're growing an army.
668
00:32:53,388 --> 00:32:54,639
Oh, fuck.
669
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,520
I think these fairies might
actually qualify as Big Bads.
670
00:33:00,603 --> 00:33:02,814
I mean, think about
all the crazy shit
671
00:33:02,897 --> 00:33:04,524
they've kept us busy with.
672
00:33:04,607 --> 00:33:08,153
Earthworms, adolescent
slug mash, turtle semen.
673
00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:11,072
This is all just
a thin frosting of whimsy
674
00:33:11,156 --> 00:33:14,075
on a cupcake of conspiracy.
675
00:33:14,284 --> 00:33:17,537
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This is a full-scale invasion.
676
00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:20,206
We need a plan bigger than
just assassinating the Queen.
677
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:23,710
We need... We need... We
need... We need... We need...
678
00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:26,713
We need... Margo?
679
00:33:28,464 --> 00:33:29,716
Margo?
680
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:32,635
Kidnapping. Hostages.
Leverage.
681
00:33:32,719 --> 00:33:35,388
Don't ask questions, go! Go!
What the fuck?
682
00:33:35,471 --> 00:33:37,307
Go, go!
683
00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:48,943
It's a bitch, right?
684
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:51,529
Imagine being stuck
on a raft with that thing.
685
00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:53,239
Have you tried
distracting it?
686
00:33:53,323 --> 00:33:56,034
For some reason, mine
was really into seagulls.
687
00:33:56,284 --> 00:33:57,785
Wonder if that's because
I'm into seagulls?
688
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,579
Please, fuck off.
689
00:33:59,662 --> 00:34:01,748
Look, I'm sorry
I passed you the key.
690
00:34:01,831 --> 00:34:03,333
I really thought
you could handle it.
691
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:05,418
This is me handling it.
692
00:34:05,501 --> 00:34:07,337
No, no, you're right.
693
00:34:08,504 --> 00:34:10,715
I wish we'd thought
of tying ourselves up.
694
00:34:10,798 --> 00:34:13,134
That first day,
we passed it around randomly.
695
00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:14,886
That killed three of us
off quick.
696
00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:16,721
Called it Bloody Tuesday.
697
00:34:16,804 --> 00:34:18,765
We figured out it affects
some people right away.
698
00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:21,392
Others, it takes time
to wear down.
699
00:34:24,270 --> 00:34:25,605
You want me to take the key
for a while?
700
00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:26,856
Give you some relief?
701
00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:28,233
No.
702
00:34:29,442 --> 00:34:31,611
I don't trust you not
to pass it on to someone else.
703
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,446
And I need it.
704
00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:35,990
For the quest. (EXHALES)
Fine.
705
00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:37,951
Be a suffer-martyr.
706
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:40,286
Look, the keys don't
just make you suffer.
707
00:34:40,370 --> 00:34:41,788
They help sometimes, too.
708
00:34:42,413 --> 00:34:45,083
Like with the keyholes
and shit like that.
709
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:46,793
Keyholes, like...
710
00:34:47,043 --> 00:34:49,963
Like in the walls
or clocks.
711
00:34:50,713 --> 00:34:52,257
Don't ask me how it works.
712
00:34:52,882 --> 00:34:55,260
So... So where do
the keyholes go?
713
00:34:55,343 --> 00:34:58,846
To Earth or the Neither lands
or wherever.
714
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,266
Wait, wait.
Are you serious?
715
00:35:06,729 --> 00:35:08,398
Stop it.
What are you doing?
716
00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:09,691
I've been stuck here
in Fillory this whole time
717
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:10,984
when I could have gone home?
718
00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:13,653
Hey. No, Poppy, stop it.
719
00:35:13,736 --> 00:35:16,322
Poppy, no. Stop.
720
00:35:16,406 --> 00:35:17,824
Poppy!
721
00:35:18,741 --> 00:35:20,868
I told you
you should've killed yourself.
722
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:22,036
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
723
00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:24,914
Okay.
724
00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:30,670
Okay, we just have
one outstanding problem.
725
00:35:31,087 --> 00:35:32,922
You kind of still need
to fuck your husband.
726
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:34,590
Don't worry. I got this.
727
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:38,970
(CROAKING)
728
00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:44,100
Let's just say Ess was right
about the toads in these parts.
729
00:35:44,434 --> 00:35:47,103
They've got three eyes?
No, baby.
730
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:49,147
They've got fangs.
731
00:35:51,858 --> 00:35:53,901
(FOMAR MOANING)
732
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:58,781
Oh ! Oh,
something bit my manhood.
733
00:35:58,865 --> 00:36:00,867
Congratulations, son.
You just had sex.
734
00:36:00,950 --> 00:36:02,744
The first time's
always painful.
735
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:04,996
It's all those teeth
they've got down there.
736
00:36:05,288 --> 00:36:08,583
But, hey, you were amazing.
737
00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:10,877
What?
738
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,670
I like to watch.
739
00:36:14,339 --> 00:36:15,923
Wanna go again?
740
00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:17,967
Hmm?
741
00:36:18,801 --> 00:36:19,844
QUENTIN: Benedict!
742
00:36:23,806 --> 00:36:25,350
Benedict, help!
743
00:36:26,434 --> 00:36:27,685
Your Majesty?
Oh, my God, Benedict.
744
00:36:27,769 --> 00:36:28,936
Okay, untie me.
745
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:30,271
Sire, you said
not to untie you.
746
00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:31,397
No. No, no, no, no, no.
747
00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:32,732
Please, come on. Okay, look.
748
00:36:32,815 --> 00:36:34,400
I'm not trying
to kill myself.
749
00:36:34,484 --> 00:36:36,319
Poppy took the key,
and she is trying
750
00:36:36,402 --> 00:36:37,737
to use it to get back
to Earth.
751
00:36:37,820 --> 00:36:39,614
Just... Okay,
go find her yourself.
752
00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:42,325
Just whatever you do, do not
let her leave with that key.
753
00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:43,576
Yes, Your Majesty.
754
00:36:45,411 --> 00:36:46,746
God.
755
00:36:50,124 --> 00:36:51,709
No! Stop!
756
00:36:52,126 --> 00:36:53,419
(GRUNTING)
757
00:37:03,179 --> 00:37:04,639
Hey, did you get it?
758
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:06,015
I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
759
00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:09,769
I'm a terrible failure.
760
00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:12,438
Okay. It's okay.
761
00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:15,108
We'll get
the key back somehow.
762
00:37:23,032 --> 00:37:24,325
Benedict.
763
00:37:28,329 --> 00:37:30,206
Hey, hey. Benedict.
764
00:37:30,498 --> 00:37:32,125
Whoa, Benedict, no.
Hey, listen.
765
00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:35,002
Whatever it's telling you
to do, do not do it.
766
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,296
I'm sorry.
767
00:37:38,464 --> 00:37:39,715
Benedict, no!
768
00:37:51,185 --> 00:37:53,229
Mmm. Yummy.
769
00:37:54,689 --> 00:37:55,731
Oh.
770
00:38:02,738 --> 00:38:04,240
(HUMMING)
771
00:38:07,368 --> 00:38:08,369
(MUSIC PLAYING)
772
00:38:08,453 --> 00:38:11,164
Oh, as long as I know
how to love
773
00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:12,665
I know I'll stay alive
774
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:14,542
I've got all my life to live
775
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,627
I've got all my love to give
776
00:38:16,711 --> 00:38:20,381
And I'll survive, hey, hey
777
00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:22,133
Penny, what's wrong?
778
00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:24,177
Just saying goodbye.
What?
779
00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:26,179
Goodbye?
Where are you going?
780
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:28,014
Just away.
781
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:29,432
Away... Wait.
782
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:33,603
Fuck, I hate this thing.
Um, I don't understand.
783
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:35,062
Is this because
of what happened with Kady?
784
00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:36,564
No.
Okay.
785
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:37,899
Is it because
we did the transfer?
786
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,193
No. Look, I gotta go.
787
00:38:40,276 --> 00:38:41,819
Wait, will you just
talk to me for a second?
788
00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:44,238
You know what,
we barely know each other.
789
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:47,116
Don't suddenly act like you
care just 'cause I'm going.
790
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,701
I'm not acting.
791
00:38:48,784 --> 00:38:50,036
I do care.
I don't want to see you go.
792
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:51,704
I don't want
to see you give up.
793
00:38:51,787 --> 00:38:53,956
Give up?
Yeah.
794
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,376
You're the one who had magic,
and you gave it away.
795
00:38:58,211 --> 00:39:01,047
What's your plan?
Go back to law school?
796
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:02,798
Live off your trust fund?
797
00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:05,468
Actually, no, my plan
was to take five minutes
798
00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:07,929
and try to remember
what life was like
799
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:10,223
without a god or a quest.
800
00:39:10,306 --> 00:39:11,933
Or some dead asshole
bothering me.
801
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:13,643
And, I don't know,
frankly beyond that,
802
00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:14,936
it's none of your business.
803
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:17,772
'Cause you have
nothing beyond that.
804
00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:19,065
(DOOR OPENS)
805
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,613
Penny wants to say goodbye.
806
00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:30,952
You're leaving?
I can't do this anymore.
807
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:35,414
I can't be a ghost person
in my own life, okay?
808
00:39:39,877 --> 00:39:41,837
Why don't I just
make you a new body?
809
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,507
Like Mayakovsky did for me.
810
00:39:50,555 --> 00:39:52,807
(DOG BARKING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
811
00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:03,693
(GASPS)
812
00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:05,903
A-plus job
getting rid of me, gorgeous.
813
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:08,823
Is this just a dream?
814
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:12,910
That time you fell out of
the tree when you were 12.
815
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:16,998
The bone in your arm healed
in six little weeks.
816
00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:19,458
How come your fear
of heights never did?
817
00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:26,299
I'm not the bone.
818
00:40:27,883 --> 00:40:29,218
I'm the terror.
819
00:40:31,304 --> 00:40:33,639
I do love how you keep trying.
820
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,142
And trying.
821
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:41,022
And trying. And trying.
822
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:42,273
(GASPS)
823
00:40:47,778 --> 00:40:49,155
(GRUNTS)
I have not been punched
824
00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:50,615
that hard since Burning Man.
825
00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:53,451
Where is he?
Where did he go?
826
00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,912
Why does it smell
like barbeque?
827
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:03,210
Benedict is dead,
and best-case scenario,
828
00:41:03,294 --> 00:41:04,712
the dragon shits the key
into the bottom of the ocean.
829
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:06,839
Um, Quentin.
Don't talk to me.
830
00:41:06,922 --> 00:41:08,883
Please, I mean it.
Okay.
831
00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:10,885
Just... (CLEARS THROAT)
Just one thing
832
00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:12,595
and I swear I will never
talk to you again.
833
00:41:12,678 --> 00:41:13,721
What?
834
00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:15,765
Dragons don't shit.
835
00:41:15,848 --> 00:41:17,808
Okay, great,
fun fact. Thanks.
836
00:41:17,892 --> 00:41:19,352
No one knows exactly
how it works,
837
00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:22,063
but what they ingest
goes elsewhere.
838
00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:23,773
They're gatekeepers,
you know?
839
00:41:23,856 --> 00:41:25,399
They don't just make portals.
840
00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:26,859
They are portals.
841
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,655
So, actual
best-case scenario...
842
00:41:30,988 --> 00:41:32,615
The key went
to the Underworld.
843
00:41:33,741 --> 00:41:34,784
Mmm.
844
00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:36,202
Oh, my God.
845
00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:44,794
If you're here,
I'm practicing
846
00:41:44,877 --> 00:41:47,129
an Osseus Confervium.
Bone-knitting.
847
00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:48,964
First step to building
a new body.
848
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:52,218
I know you can't see me,
but I'm here.
849
00:41:53,844 --> 00:41:55,304
Thanks for giving a shit
about me.
850
00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:01,977
Alice?
851
00:42:02,269 --> 00:42:03,270
(BREATHING SHAKILY)
852
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:05,439
Alice, you okay? Alice?
853
00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:08,234
God, Alice. Alice!
854
00:42:08,442 --> 00:42:10,945
God, this is... Where's...
855
00:42:11,821 --> 00:42:12,863
Alice!
856
00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,491
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
857
00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,037
Okay, okay, God.
Come on.
858
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:24,208
Come on, someone's got
to hear this, please.
859
00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:29,046
(MUSIC PLAYING)
860
00:42:29,130 --> 00:42:31,465
Oh, as long as I know
how to love
861
00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:33,217
I know I'll stay alive
862
00:42:33,300 --> 00:42:35,177
I've got all my life to live
863
00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:37,304
I've got all my love to give
864
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:40,182
And I'll survive, hey, hey
865
00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:59,410
It took all the strength
I had not to fall apart
866
00:42:59,493 --> 00:43:03,247
Kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
867
00:43:03,271 --> 00:43:08,271
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