All language subtitles for Weeds (2005) - S04E03 - The Whole Blah Damn Thing (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)-eng

Previously on Weeds:

Yes, I set the house on fire.

- We're going to Ren Mar.
- Uh, whoa, what?

We're gonna see Bubbie.

- What's she like?
- She's somewhere far, far away.

It's a shame you boys
never got a chance to know her.

You can blame your mother for that.

You're not getting out of here
any time soon.

You fuckers ratted me out.

She got busted for a pot house.
Your pot house, Mom.

Fuck.

- Should I be nervous about all this?
- Of course you should.

It's the drug business. it's dangerous.

You're gonna take a little drive
for me today, blanca.

There's big money in it
if you do it real good.

You were recording me?
There's no drugs? The car was clean?

Tomorrow we review the tape.

- Nancy, what are we doing here?
- We're starting a new life.

- She's trying to talk.
It's Yiddish.

- What did she say?
- It means "kill me."

Her eyes don't move, but they follow
you, like when you look at a painting.

She's like a painting.

She's alone and palely loitering.

How is she?

Alone and palely loitering. Nice coat.

Kept me toasty on the porch last night.

- Bubbie loves her pelts.
- What was wrong with the couch?

I got a little creeped out
after the whole "I wanna die" thing.

Plus, it's like bunking
with Darth Vader:

The what thing?

Yesterday Bubbie told us
she wants to die.

Actually, she said, "Kill me."
In Yiddish.

Bubbie. This Bubbie.
The Bubbie that doesn't blink.

She seized a moment.
It was very intense.

- So she's actually in there.
- Yeah.

And she wants out.

I've got many long dark hairs
in my tub.

I've actually got one
wrapped around my toe.

I'm thinking, "Disgusting."
I'm also thinking, "You're going bald."

Do women go bald?

- Where did you come from?
- Outdoor shower.

No line. No Lenny.

Where the hell is my bathrobe?

I believe this belongs to you.

And that belongs to me.

Another thief.

Good morning, Shane.

You, I'm not talking to.

Is this still about me being a thief?

Or have we moved on to
Bubbie's recent trip to Clarityville?

Kill me.

"Kill me"? Huh.

What do you think
she meant by that?

Maybe it was her sled.

I said I didn't wanna talk to you.

But you don't listen.

You just keep on talking. Don't you?

Wow.

It's a lot of hair.

You're under a lot of stress.

What do you think brings
two people together, Ms. Hodes:

Chance or fate?

Chance?

No, fate. it's fate.

It's definitely fate.

Wrong.

Please don't put me back in jail.

It's chance.
And I'm gonna give you one.

A once-in-a-lifetime,
never-to-be-repeated...

...small-window-of-opportunity
chance to clear your name.

Does that interest you, Ms. Hodes?

Yes, it does. Yes.

I wanna know
where Nancy Botwin is.

I can do that.

I wanna know how
she knows this man...

...what she's doing with him,
when they met...

...and who introduced them.

If you can give me the why,
I'll shit sunflowers.

And then you'll drop all charges.

- Did I say that?
- No.

I did not say that.

I also did not not say that.

What you deliver to me,
I give back to you.

Quality of information
equals degree of leniency.

So I just, uh, what,
knock on her door, say:

"Hey, Nance.
Got any new Mexican friends?"

Actually, he's Puerto Rican.

How he ended up running
Los Angeles for a Mexican cartel...

...is something of a mystery to us.

Guillermo Garcia-Gomez.

That's who you want?

Oh, I'd love her too. Love it.

But her time's coming.
Because that's fate.

But this guy, he's a whale.

And I fucking love whales.

I'm Ahab, Ms. Hodes.

Guillermo Garcia-Gomez.

You report to me weekly.

- And, Celia...
- Yes?

I liked you blond
on your driver's license.

Think about going there again.

You have anything to say about this?

Happiness is an empty bladder?

What's with all the skirt-flapping?

I was drying myself.

Silk chiffon. Expensive to dry-clean.

Chewie took a shit in a bread bag
one time.

So that's why I got stopped?
Because I peed?

Yeah, because you peed.

Because you went through right after
shift change, when guards are fresh.

Because you wore that ridiculous...

...check-my-shit-out
Technicolor slut suit...

...in the middle of the afternoon
on a Tuesday.

Why are you calling attention
to yourself?

You're supposed to be
the all-American mom.

Get yourself some J. Crew.

- Blend, señora.
- Blend.

Look. Look at your hands.

They don't stop moving.

Banging on the steering wheel...

...tapping on the dash,
fanning your coochie.

I had a lot of coffee.

So next time you have less.

Take some beta-blockers. Okay?
Just calm your shit down.

- What do you need with all that?
- The guy didn't have change.

Oh, and he was
the only one out there?

Look what message you sent.

A lady goes to TJ
dressed like a guera peacock...

...and she comes back with nothing but
the mierda she buys at the crossing.

I told them I was
looking for fade cream.

Why didn't you have
an empty container...

...to show the guys in the store?

What's the brand name?

Ah. You're right. I was vague.

You must always be thinking ahead.

Okay? Know what's around you.

Stay relaxed.

You've been thinking east-west.
Start thinking north-south.

I wanna make another run.

- Right now.
- No.

- A real one.
- No, you ain't ready for that.

You gave me a test. I failed. Fine.

But I get it now.

North-south. J. Crew.

Small bills. Beta-blockers.

School's out?

You learned all you need?

I've learned all I'm gonna learn
sitting in a warehouse.

- Ah. Eager beaver.
- Ooh.

Okay. You wanna make a real run?

All right.
This time you're gonna take my ride.

There's really no easy way
to say this.

You wanna kill Bubbie.

No.

Well, yes. But no.

I mean...

...yes. And also no. Mostly yes.

Like an incredibly humane,
merciful, dignified yes...

...up here in the foreground...

...with this deeply felt, sorrowful,
tinged with regret and guilt...

...about the big fat yes.

No, back there a ways.

I think it's the right thing to do.

Of course you do.
You talk to dead people.

It's what Bubbie wants.
What's your problem?

We don't have a whole lot of family.

Do we really wanna kill one off?

That in there?
That's as good as it gets for Bubbie.

There's no recovery.
There's just pain...

...and more pain,
and wanting that pain to end.

So let's just kill her?

Let's help her find peace.

By killing her.

I wish you wouldn't making killing her
sound so much like killing her.

Show some balls.

That's the spirit.

Yeah.

Sure. Death is no big deal.
Because life is just blah, blah, blah.

Look, Silas.

Life is just blah, blah, blah.

You hope for blah.

And sometimes you find it.
But mostly it's blah.

And waiting for blah.

And hoping you were right
about the blahs you made.

Then, just when you think you have the
whole blah-damn thing figured out...

...and you're surrounded
by the ones you blah...

...death shows up...

...and blah, blah, blah.

All right. Let's do this.

That was good.

I have my moments.

So the plan.

Unified front. Three-men approach.

We send Shane in
to convince the old man.

Silas and I hide out here.

- What?
- He likes you.

Fine. Pussies.

Fucking hotel key. Shit. Fucker.

Maybe they gave you the wrong key.

For your room,
that you have with your husband.

- Dean Hodes. The lovable gimp.
- Yes.

Look at this.

Do you wanna hold it?

No, I don't wanna hold it.

What are we looking at exactly?
What is this?

- When the fires hit Agrestic, a sneak...
- Oh, God, look.

- You said a "sneak"?
- Yup, that's the term. Kind of like...

Oh, I love Huell Howser.
Don't you just love him, Celia?

He's so enthusiastic.
And his hair is so neat.

Pam, get your head out of Huell's ass
and go out into the hall.

I need a lookout.

- At the same time.
- Right, right. it's male, though.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't...

I wasn't looking at it
from the right angle. I apologize.

That is really...
Now, she kind of had a premonition.

- That's right. These animals...
- Mail. Messages.

- Now, is this a rodent?
- Shane.

Ah, no, it's from a...

"Great grandma dying. Weird house."

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've never even seen a shrew before.

"Ren Mar is full of beach nazis."

Ren Mar.

No, um.

Sorry, no comprende.

Oh, no. No, I'm gonna stay here.

And watch. And listen. See?

Hello. Welcome to podcast number six:

Shopping.

Now that you've
purchased new shoes...

...let's go next door to the pet store.

Do you have video for cats?

I would like a talking bird.

What does the big lizard eat?

- This cat has no claws.
- What is...?

Ow. What is that?

Dónde is that? What...?

What the fuck is that?

This is Lento.
He's going to see his mother.

She's getting a gastric bypass
in Limón Grove.

I'm not smuggling any illegals.

I just do mota.

No illegals.

Oh, do not worry, miss.

I am not illegal. I got a green card.

- You got a green card?
- A green card.

- Why not just walk across the border?
- Oh, I also got a prison record.

For what? For what?
Why did he go to jail?

Jaywalking.

I need to talk to you about Bubbie.

Well, unfortunately for you,
I do not share that need.

But would you like a parting gift?

She's in a lot of pain.

Well, that's an amazing diagnosis.

Considering you and your family
just got here...

...like little rays of sunshine
and euthanasia.

You aren't as familiar
with her medical condition...

...as say, someone like...

I don't know, who am I thinking of?
You know, it's on the tip of my tongue.

...me.

But you nailed it.

What tipped you off?

Was it the morphine drip?

She said she wanted to die.

You know what? I've changed
my mind. Let's rap.

Here, have a seat.
Right by my mother.

Now, what do you wanna talk about?

I think that Bubbie has...

That you have the right
to choose your death.

Well, you gotta respect a man
who speaks his mind, huh, Ma?

I do it myself all the time,
to varying effect.

But still, respect must be paid.

Pulling the plug on her,
is that what you have in mind?

- Pretty much.
- Mm-hm.

So tell me...

...would you wanna kill your mom?

I mean, let's just say that was her
laying in that bed...

...shedding hair all over the pillow.

If she said, "Kill me," I would.

Well, as luck would have it,
it's not your mom.

That happens to be the woman
that spent the wonder years...

...kicking my ass.

Calling me a loser, a liar.

Bad investment.

Force-feeding me liver
and apple sauce.

Hanging my dog. Twice.

Accidentally, or so she said.

But how did they get up there
in that tree?

I think you're having problems
letting go.

Of course.

I am. I'm having problems letting go.

You know why?

Because it's my fucking mother.

All eyeballs...

...and elbows...

...and ready to play God.

Okay, big guy...

...here we go.

See the ventilator?

It starts here...

...and it ends there.

So all you gotta do is reach down...

...and yank it out.

Just give it a tug...

...pop, and she's gone.

Easy, right?

I can't.

How do you say "I fucking did it"
in Spanish?

What? What does that mean?

That means
you hit a fucking pothole.

I'm sorry. We're almost there.

Are you lost, miss?
We keep turning right.

Well, these streets all look the same.

Have you been to
Guillermo's drug warehouse before?

Do you know if it's by an ezStorage?

Maybe if you stop and ask.

Not the kind of thing
you can ask someone else.

It's... It's this way.

- Oof. You drive for shit.
- Sorry.

This looks familiar.

Oh, this is it. This is it.

Guillermo?

Chewie?

Shit.

- Is here?
- No. Is not here.

Well, is here, but here
isn't here anymore, apparently.

You will please let me out now?

No.

I want to,
but you're a criminal of some sort.

And we're alone. I'm sorry.

I'm sure you're a very nice
Mexican man who loves his mother.

But you also might wanna make a hat
out of my kidney.

So we'll get you out soon.

Soonish.

What the fuck do you want?

If I give you a beer,
will you go away?

Can I drink my beer first?

Only if you swear, on whatever god
you consider significant...

...that you absolutely will not speak.

Yeah, okay.

You're gonna talk. Give me
the Pabst back. Get out of here.

I'm not talking, I'm drinking.

Look, just start talking.

We both know you're gonna talk,
so go ahead and talk.

You're trying to put me on tilt,
aren't you?

- Fuck!
- Say it! You want me to kill my mother.

- That really hurt.
- Say it.

Ow. Goddamn it! Yes!

Yes, I want you to pull her plug,
to cash in her chips.

I want you to enter her
in the dirt derby.

You're the one
who told us what she said. You.

It was Yiddish, you could've
said anything, any lie you wanted.

But you told us.

You can't listen to that.

She doesn't know what's coming out.
It's just talk.

- How often does she talk?
- I don't know.

How many times
does she say, "I wanna die"?

- I don't know.
- Yes, you do.

Once. Twice. Several times.

A bunch. Often. Never.

What do you want me to say?

That I wanna kill my mother?

That I want her dead?
I wish this would go away?

- Yeah.
- Fine.

I wish she were dead
and this would all go away.

So do you wanna be the one...?

Like this is some fucking honor?

- You do it.
- No way. She likes me.

Nancy.

Bubbie did say bringing Not-Francie
into the family would kill her.

Psychic, my mother.

- Is here Limón Grove?
- No.

No Limón Grove.

Will you please shut up about Limón
Grove every time I hit the brake?

I've got to pick up my mama.
She's getting discharged at 5.

And they're just gonna leave her
in the hallway.

Listen, listen.

Lento, I'm sorry.

It's just, I'm dealing with some
seriously thwarted expectations...

...of my own right now.

I'm gonna go inside.

If Guillermo doesn't call me back,
I'll bring some tools and get you out.

- I have to pee.
- You go right ahead, sweetie.

Hi, guys.

We're just, uh, saying our goodbyes.

- Oh, my God. Did Bubbie...?
- No.

Oh?

We decided it would be best
to pull the plug, though.

Let her rest in peace.

Uh...

Tonight.

Uh-huh.

Actually, we decided you should...

...do the honors.

Wow.

I'm... Wow.

One sec.

Hey, you got my pot?

My truck? And my cousin Lento?

- Where the hell are you?
- Outside.

I'll be back in a...

It's okay, Nance.
Go outside, gather your thoughts.

When you're ready, we'll be here.

Where were you guys?

Security breach.

Change of venue.

And how do you know where I live?

It's in your GPS. Under "home."

That's nice.

I need to go kill my dead husband's
grandmother now.

Been there.

Oh, shit.

Oh. Balls.

Fuck!

You think Andy gets residuals
for this?

The foot is kind of hot.

Does that make me gay?

Crap. This is my favorite part.

Need like 10 more minutes, Izzy.

- Carilli.
- Wilson, I want answers.

We researched the insurance policies
on the municipal buildings.

There are several discrepancies that...
Jesus. Cock, you've got a Christ-on.

Sorry about that.

Must be upsetting.
Unless you own a horse.

I'll grab some pants. Be right back.

Doug?

Say goodbye to Izzy for me.

Tell her I'm sorry we never got
to watch porn together.

Wait. No, don't tell her that.
Tell her...

...Herbie the Love Bug.

- What's going on, man?
- Nothing.

Where's my Armageddon bag?

Oh, no. Come on, stay, Doug.
We'll fight them together.

Adiós, buddy.

Oh, and that foot thing
makes you totally gay.

- I love you, man.
- Gay.

Gay.

Bubbie, to be honest...

...I don't really know
a whole lot about you.

Um...

I don't even know your real name.

I mean, I do.

If I thought about it. Probably.

Helen?

Oh. I'm sure I'll read it in the paper.

Or on your grave.

Anyway.

I know Judah loved you.

And I know...

...you loved Judah. And that's...

...good to know.

And I know you aren't hanging on
for things you haven't done.

Because you did
what you needed to do.

You were here. Um...

You touched all these lives.

And you were loved.

And you collected
many excellent treasures...

...which we will now
have to figure out what to do with.

Uh, I pray...

...that you will rest easy.

That you will not fear.

That you will have peace.

And you will thank God it has come...

...at last.

And please don't be mad at me.

- Is that it?
- No.

- That one?
- That's the kitchen.

The kitchen.

How about now?

Getting warmer.

That's it.

She's still breathing.

Shane, get Mommy a pillow.