Original subtitles

-? Look up there ? -? What do you see? ?

? Nature and stuff ?

-? Like a rock ? -? And a tree ?

? Oh, the Great North ?

? Way up here, you can breathe the air ?

? Catch some fish ?

? Or gaze at a bear ?

? Wow ?

? Oh, the Great North ?

? Here we live, oh, oh ?

? Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ?

? From longest night to longest day ?

? In the Great North. ?

[cheering]

? ?

And it looks like it'll be a warm day in Lone Moose,

with a high of 34 degrees.

Bring out those shorts, gang. Let's see those lovely legs.

Ham, I can't believe you're meeting

the Harry Hotfog in person today.

The Lone Moose Wind just named him

Lone Moose's Moose-t Influential Person.

Yeah, I can't believe that I, Ham Tobin,

actually landed the weather job with him

for internship week.

I always say you could be the town's actual weatherman.

Oh, no. The weather's just a hobby for me.

A normal, fun hobby for a teen boy.

[chuckles] Just a hobby?

You got that tattoo that says, "Weather Boy."

-Moon. -Dad, Ham has a tattoo.

That's fine. Loving the weather is in your blood.

Your great great grandfather Gustin

was Lone Moose's first weatherperson.

[Wolf] Went door-to-door delivering the weather.

He got shot a lot.

Weather is so important in Lone Moose,

meeting Hotfog will be like meeting the king.

We're gonna half-ass it on the boat all week

and stay glued to the TV in case you accidentally get on the air.

[scoffs] I doubt that'll happen.

I'm sure I'll just be helping with research and prep.

Getting my eyes on that sweet, sweet weather data they got.

[chuckles] Think of it. All that knowledge.

-All that power. -[thunder rumbles]

Telling the world whether the heavens will open

and rain water or ice upon the land.

It would be like the skies belong to me!

Uh, you okay there, son?

I ask because you bent your fork in half

and you're standing on your chair.

Oh, uh, yeah I'm fine. [chuckles]

And, Judy, are you also excited for your internship?

Nope.

Here we go.

Yes, here we do go. As you all know,

I wanted the internship at the Death Cliff Civic Light Opera,

but instead I got Lil Preppers troop leader,

because their actual troop leader

is doing an internship at rehab.

Judy's making us do a play.

We're doing Macbeth.

The tale of a man who receives a prophecy

that he will become king, murders to gain the crown,

and becomes consumed by guilt.

Sounds perfect for ten-year-olds.

-[indistinct chatter] -Whoa.

Weather maps? A weather computer?

A weather clock?

It's just a regular clock.

I assume you're one of the new interns?

Yes. I'm Ham, and being here is the honor of my lifetime.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other one? Name?

Ugh. I'm Devon, and I have a doctor's note

that says I'm supposed to look at my phone all the time

or I'll get really sick.

I know that's not a real note,

but I also know that I have to let you do whatever you want

because your aunt is news anchor Diondra Tundra.

She gets so drunk at Christmas.

And I'm Vince The Cloud Guy.

I wear the green screen suit and move the clouds

behind Harry Hotfog.

Plus, I get to fill in for Harry if he's ever sick.

[laughing] So, yeah, I'm that Vince The Cloud Guy.

Wow. I saw you fill in once.

I bet it was so magical.

You have no idea.

So, uh, when do we get to meet Harry?

You don't. Not today, anyway.

He pre-taped his segments

since he's doing the ribbon cutting ceremony

for the new marijuana dispensary down on Birch Road.

Nice.

Okay, intern duties.

Devon, you'll be in charge of entering weather data

into the teleprompter.

Whoa, cool.

And, uh, other one, you get Harry Hotfog's coffee

and clean my green screen suit every day

between the afternoon weather hit and the evening news.

There's a washer/dryer near the coffee stand. [grunts]

[grunts] Oh.

It's, uh... so wet.

That's right. Those clouds move fast, and so do I.

Also, Harry cannot have dairy.

It rhymes, so you'll remember it. Now, go!

Uh-huh. [grunts]

-Oh, and redheaded one? -Yes?

Tumble dry low or my suit will shrink. You get it?

Oh, yep, yep, you got it.

I didn't ask for your life story.

[sighs] Chances of Ham getting to do

any actual weather work are low.

I guess I'm no Gustin Tobin.

No muttering, you teen!

All right, Preppers.

Today, we set out to perform the Scottish play, and we-

Uh, excuse me, Judith, there's a more pressing matter.

Reading the play, we were shocked to learn

the king's guards were simply not prepped for a coup attempt.

If we'd been protecting the king,

he never would've been shivved in bed.

And we realized our very own hallways

are rife with power struggles.

There was fresh graffiti today in the bathroom

and near the dumpster that said, "Gibbons equals toilet."

Yeah, kids make fun of principals, so what?

Tell her, Russell.

It wasn't just in the kids' bathroom,

it was also in the faculty bathroom.

I sneak in there to get that cotton candy

from the blue boxes.

Is Russell eating tampons?

Probably, but the pressing point is that

we must protect our king, Gibbons.

A "Macbeth-ing" could already be in motion.

-[kids] Protect our king. -Ugh.

I should be folding programs for the Civic Light Opera's

production of Costco: The Musical right now.

[wind blowing]

[knock on window]

Huh?

[gasps]

Olde-y time-y ghost?

Heed.

Do I follow you- Okay, yes.

I guess I'm following you.

So... how are you?

In turmoil, young Ham.

Do you recognize me?

Sure. Yes. Absolutely.

You are... Dumbledore?

Close. Pretty good guess.

I'm your ancestor, Gustin Tobin.

Oh, wow. You're, like, my hero.

Why did you say Dumbledore was a good guess?

Because I feel like he's based on me.

But that's not why I'm haunting you.

You must fulfill my legacy.

In Alaska, the weather is a matter of life and death, Ham.

And at the station,

it's in the hands of incompetents and boobs.

Boobs!

You are the rightful heir to the weather

and all that comes with it.

To the power, the prestige,

and the women. God, the women.

Hmm... I'm not into women, but-

Oh, okay, cool. The rest of it, then.

So are you saying, like, you think

I should be the weatherman?

Perhaps an opportunity will arise

for you to rise.

I must go now, Ham.

I have to meet with my lawyer about my Dumbledore lawsuit.

I'm going to walk through you now. Brace.

[gasps, screams]

[screams, pants]

Whoa.

Okay, oat milk latte on the left,

regular milk latte on the right.

And I'll just remember that by saying left is right.

No, wait. Ah, crap.

[gasps] Oh.

? Hotfog. ?

[Ham] Wow, look at him.

Lone Moose's king of the skies.

Wait. Left is right, which is left. Oh, no.

An opportunity will arise

[echoing] to rise, rise, rise...

[grunts]

-[others gasp] -What in the...?

What in God's green grasses?

I am so sorry, Mr. Hotfog,

but that latte had regular milk in it.

Young man, you have saved me from a terrible fate.

I'm mildly allergic to regular milk.

-What's your name? -Ham. Ham Tobin.

You're a good kid, Tobin.

You know what? You're allowed in my eyeline.

Stop beaming.

So leave your umbrellas at home 'cause we're gonna be drier

than my favorite varietal of white wine, pinot gris.

Hmm. Interesting.

According to my research, precipitation is a-coming.

So Harry's wrong?

I don't want to be a catty bitch, but kind of, yeah.

Meow, Ham.

Retract those claws and grab your backpack, Hamuel.

Time for school.

Wouldn't claws make it easier

to grab the backpacks?

I'm not having the claw conversation again, Moon.

Meow, Dad.

[Ham] Hey, Devon,

did you put the temperatures into the teleprompter yet?

[scoffs] I'll get to it.

Get to it? Harry's going on in 30 seconds.

Can I get a makeup check over here?

My T-zone is absolutely nuts.

[chuckles] Look at this cat.

We're live in three, two...

[Harry] Thanks, Diondra.

Let's start with this evening. We've got temps in the...

What in the... what?

[Honeybee] Uh-oh, Harry seems confused.

Maybe Ham can help? Wait, is that him in the background?

No, that's a smudge on the TV.

Oh...

Still, pretty cool.

-Uh... I'm gonna tell you, and-and I'll... -[gasps]

Ooh... Uh...

Uh...

A high of 45 degrees and lows in the teens

overnight with a chance of flurries.

[exhales]

-Hotfog, rolling out. -[bell rings]

Okay, what the hell just happened?

Hmm...

Oh, uh, sorry, sir, the other intern

didn't enter the temps into the prompter for you.

Walk with me, Ham.

Sir, your robe.

[chuckles] I see a lot of myself in you, Ham.

You really care about the weather.

I appreciate you saving my ass today, son,

and I want you entering the data from now on, not the other kid.

[chuckles] Entering the data?

Wow, what's next?

[Harry] I have to go now, Ham.

I'm officiating the wedding of the polar bears

at the Whippleton Zoo, Zoo-letons.

Marie, get this young man a muffin

from the basket the mayor sent over.

One mayoral muffin.

Huh, my own muffin.

-[grunts] -[Vince] Clean it!

[Moon] Okay, the runes have been carved

to keep witches away,

and we dug a fall-pit to trap any regular-ass bad guys.

No witches will assassinate Gibbons today.

-[Golovkin screams] -Huh? -[screams]

Macbeth alert. Macbeth alert.

One, two, three, up. [grunts] What are you kids doing here?

What are you doing here? If you're a witch,

you have to tell us. It's the law.

Mr. Golovkin, these, uh, Preppers

think someone hates Principal Gibbons.

-Oh, sure, we all hate him. -[kids gasp] -I knew it.

A little, a little. I mean, he has more power than us

and makes, like, $1,200 a year more.

$1,500 more than substitutes, those poor bastards.

Assassins abound.

No, Henry, no one's out to kill him.

I just challenge his power by edging my car

slightly into his parking spot.

Some days he has to climb out the passenger side.

Okay, well, sounds like there's nothing to worry about.

Nothing to worry about? Did you hear what he said?

Everyone's to worry about. Every single teacher hates him.

A little.

We must go turn over every rock and stone and desk

to see if there's a murder plot afoot within the castle walls.

-[laughs] -Oh, hell yeah. -[groans]

So do you need help getting out of the pit or...?

No, don't. I'll never learn if I don't do it myself.

? ?

[Gustin] Ham...

-Hammy... -Huh?

Oh. It's you.

What are you doing, Ham?

Letting that green man

throw his sweaty stretch trousers at your face?

Oh, Vince? I mean, he's a little annoying, but fine.

Ham, come on, that guy sucks.

Why should he be next in line to the throne?

It should be you up there.

Just like I should have a bunch of that

sweet Harry Potter money.

But you're dead.

You don't know how the spirit world works, Ham.

You still have to work and earn money.

Oh, that's terrible news.

Don't get off topic, Ham.

Listen, the weather is in your blood.

You should be the Green Man

holding the fluffy white fun bags.

Do you mean clouds?

If only you could think of a way

to get into that Cloud Guy suit.

Like, if it shrank. Yes.

So, I need to...

invent a shrink ray?

No. At the station, use the dryer.

God. I am leaving now. Brace.

[gasps]

I really wish he'd stop doing that.

[echoing] Shrinking is good.

Use the dryer.

Ham, what are you doing?

You would never take another man's job

and all the incredible perks that come with it.

No. You're humble.

You're...

Oh, Lord, help me, the power.

Ham, get your hands off my fluffy white fun bags

-and dry my suit. -Will do.

Tell Hotfog I said...

hi.

[laughing diabolically]

-[Vince] Stop laughing near the dryer. -Sorry.

[Vince screams]

Oh, gosh, did something accidentally happen?

You shrunk my suit is what happened.

And my backup suit is at my ex-girlfriend's house,

and she won't give it back

because I stole her SpongeBob mousepad.

[scoffs] Are you yelling about your ex-girlfriend again?

Yes. But no. This intern shrunk my suit. He should be fired.

Hmm. Why would we fire the one person

who could fit into the suit now?

Who, me? What an interesting notion.

[Harry] ...so cloudy but dry this evening.

We'll be back after these messages

with the weekend weather.

-[bell rings] -And we're clear. Two minutes, people.

Having fun back there? You hold those clouds like a pro.

Oh, my God, thank you.

Uh, Mr. Hotfog? I, uh...

-Oh, never mind. -What? What? What is it?

Well, it's just... I'm pretty sure it's gonna hail tonight.

Give us a sec, would you, babe?

Ham, as I said before, I can tell you love the weather,

but my audience wants to hear about it from me.

You just move those clouds around

and keep your weather thoughts to yourself, you got it?

[Ham] Right, yes, of course, yes.

Who cares what radar

and historical weather data says anyways?

[director] And we're back.

Well, this is the last place to search on the list.

And we did not find any swords, poisons, or scrolls,

so... [chuckles, sighs]

And, unfortunately, my keen sense of drama

does compel me to inform you that there is, in fact,

steam rising from a mysterious hatch in the floor behind you.

[Moon gasps] "Substitute Teacher's Lounge"?

-[man] Greetings. -[all scream]

Double, double, toil and trespassing.

-Oh, Mr. Tanner. -Who's Mr. Tanner?

I'm a rotating sub. Invisible, unimportant,

lowly, and unassuming.

But I'm here. By God, I'm here.

Okay.

See, Judy, we told you there was a Macbeth.

Yes, that's where I got the idea.

You were gonna assassinate the principal?

What? No. Just his character.

I was gonna seed negative stories

in the letters to the editor section of the Lone Moose Wind

over the next eight to ten months...

But that wouldn't-

...while also taking a night course

to get my school admin credential

and then applying for his job when he got fired.

-[Gibbons] Joshua. -[screams]

How could you?

Uh, Principal Gibbons. Hi. H-Hello.

-Um, am I fired? -I wish. But, no,

we're very understaffed and you cleared the background check,

so you're good.

Oh, thank goodness.

But can you please, for once, stop plotting against me?

Of course.

-You just winked right at me. -Sorry, sorry.

I'll be good from here on out.

? ?

Hey, Ham. Heard you got to move those clouds today.

You know it, player.

Ham the Cloud Guy. Wow.

Ham, are the clouds as nice as they seem?

-Even nicer. -Ooh.

Iceberg. Lettuce ahead.

Oh. It's you.

Hey, Vince. Uh...

why are you holding a sign for Delia's Day Old Salads?

Because someone stole my job this afternoon.

What do you mean?

Oh, come off it, Ham. I saw that look in your eye

the minute you walked into the station.

You're gunning for Harry's crown,

but beware, heavy hangs the clouds that wear the suit.

-What? -Move it along, traitor.

I got salads to sell.

Salad, salad, salad, salad, salad, salad.

New day. Same salad.

[entry bell jingles]

There he is, the Cloud Prince of Lone Moose.

My liege.

Don't worry, we already ordered waters to celebrate.

What the hell?

More like what the hail,

'cause it is hailing.

-Just as I predicted. -Uh-oh.

I didn't close the windows on the van

because Harry said it would be clear tonight.

Oh, no. I left my Harlan Coben novel on the front seat.

I'll save it, Wolf.

Vince was right, heavy do hang the clouds.

? ?

[Gustin] Guess who...

-It's- -Yes, hi.

I know what you're gonna say, okay?

Harry was wrong about the hail, and he's dangerous for the town,

and so I got to get rid of him

and take his job and get all the perks.

All right? So, yeah, you can go.

Okay. I mean, we could talk about something else?

Nope, nope, nope. Just get out of here. Bye-bye-bye.

[Gustin groans]

? ?

[diabolical laughter]

[Ham] Here's, uh, here's Harry's coffee.

It's totally normal, so can you take it to him?

Ugh, whatever.

Ah...

[coughs]

That's weird. This tastes... itchy.

[screams] It's dairy milk.

Uh-oh. Devon, get him out of here before he starts farting.

-Hot front rolling out. -Put the cloud boy in a suit.

We are minutes to air, people.

Well, we were supposed to do the play this afternoon,

but I guess since we never even did one rehearsal,

I will just not get the credit and...

[gasps] What the...?

We made the sets and memorized our lines last night.

Like I said, we know how to prep.

My mom's boyfriend Jamie stayed up so late sewing our costumes.

There's nothing that man can't do.

Wow. You guys really do prepare.

-[farting] -Ugh, yikes, man.

Your butt sounds bad.

The fault is yours. You gave me that coffee.

Yeah, but Ham gave it to me to give to you.

What?

? ?

[farts]

By the pricking of my thumbs,

something wicked this way comes.

And a blizzard here will be, uh...

will be, uh,

moving in, and, uh...

[Henry] Hence horrible shadow,

can such things be?

And overcome us, like a summer's cloud?

Ham, read the teleprompter.

It's, uh,

clouds, and...

-coffee... -[diabolical laughter]

...is-

[moans]

Enough!

[screams]

Harry, what are you doing? Clear the set.

You poisoned my coffee.

Betrayal!

Ow! Hey, you hit me.

You can't hit me, I'm a child.

[belches] En garde.

Ow! Hey! Stop!

We should be recording this.

Wolf, grab a blank tape

and get the VCR out of the basement.

I'm on it!

-[Wolf shouting] -[thumping]

[Wolf] I got it!

Why did you do it, Ham?

You were the clouds beneath my wings.

I warned you about the hail, and you said

no one wanted to hear from me. And you know what?

My brother's Harlan Coben novel got slightly moist.

You don't actually care about the weather,

so you don't deserve the mayoral muffins!

My God, you're right.

I did start out loving the weather,

but at some point, I fell more in love

with the celebrity and the money and the women.

God, the women.

[director] You're not the only one seduced

by weather's power, Harry.

I lied on my r�sum� to get this job.

I didn't graduate from Harvard Camera School.

And I watched the last makeup lady

choke to death on a pretzel so I could take her job.

-Wait, what? -Exactly.

We're all guilty of being blinded by sky glamour.

And maybe me most of all.

I messed with your coffee so I could steal your crown.

That's not like me, and I'm so sorry.

Apology... [belches] ...accepted.

Maybe I needed you to part the clouds for me

-to see that I was being- -A huge douche?

No, that's not what I meant-

A disgrace.

I was gonna say shortsighted.

A soulless hack?

Ham, I already said what I was gonna say.

-[bell rings] -And that's commercial.

[Beef] Well, that was one

hell of an internship week.

I can't believe Ham killed Harry Hotfog.

Mm-mm. Attempted to kill Harry Hotfog.

I didn't know a man's face could puff up that much.

But he's fine. Harry even said

I can still help him with his cue cards

if the prompter ever goes down.

-And it will go down. -What was that, Ham?

Oh, nothing.

[laughing diabolically]

? ?

? Snow, sleet, rain and sun ?

? There's just one man who gets it done ?

? Hotfog ?

? In knowing weather fast and loose ?

? From Whippleton down to Lone Moose ?

? Hotfog ?

? He's coming in with all that weather ?

? Suit so fine, hair soft like a feather ?

? Harry Hotfog ?

? And when he leaves, no, don't you pout ?

? That's just Harry Hotfog rolling out ?

-? Hotfog ? -? Hail yeah ?

? It's Harry Hotfog. ?

Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0